Chapter Fourteen: Under the Buck Moon

Remus spent much of the next day sleeping. They hung a "do not disturb" sign on the door so they would be left well alone. Sirius made a quick dash across the road to a small, dimly lit grocery store and arrived back a few minutes later with his arms loaded up with bread rolls and weird cheeses and smoked meats and some peaches. And then neither of them left the room again.

Remus drifted in and out of consciousness while Sirius sat beside him on the bed, watching the moving pictures on the muggle screen. Sometimes the strange words would seep their way into Remus' dreams but most of the time he was simply dead to the world.

Sirius woke him with a cup of tea, when the sun began to set, and they had something to eat. By now, Remus' bones were continually aching and his skin was prickling and his muscles felt sore and heavy. 'I might go in the bath,' he said - thinking the warm water might help a little.

Sirius nodded, 'I'll run you one.'

'I can do it myself.'

'I know you can - but tomorrow will be a long day for you. Let me run it. You don't have to do everything by yourself.'

'All right,' Remus nodded. He smiled. 'And - er - do I get to at least have a bath alone, or will you be barging your way in on that as well?'

Sirius gave his bark of a laugh, 'I'll let you have a bath alone - if you're going to be so ridiculously modest about it.'

'I mean, is it really ridiculously modest to want to bathe in private? Isn't that what most people do?'

But Sirius only shrugged, 'we're not most people.'

'Well you're certainly not. You have absolutely no boundaries.'

'I have lots of boundaries! Just not with you.'

'Hmm - lucky me.' Though he was having to fight his smile.

But, true to his word, Sirius had run the bath - nice and hot, so steam rose from it in spirals - and had then backed out of the bathroom, leaving Remus alone. 'But if you need anything…' he said, before he left.

Remus laughed. 'I think I can manage a bath by myself. I'll try my hardest not to drown.' Though when it came to it, his muscles ached so much that stripping his clothes off was painful … and part of him wished that Sirius had stayed around to help.

But he couldn't let him do that. Not when he felt the way he did about Sirius - and not when Sirius had no idea. It would not be fair.

When he'd finally struggled out of his robes and divested himself of his underwear, he stepped into the bath - the heat of the water made him hiss - but then he acclimatised and he settled down, letting the warmth soothe his aches and pains. He lay his head back and drifted into sleep again and didn't jerk awake again until there was an anxious knocking at the door.

'Are you alright in there? It's been over an hour.'

'Mmm…' he started, 'fine - I'm fine,' he called. The water was tepid now and cooling rapidly. His skin had gone all pruny. He got out, rubbed himself with the white hotel towel and then wrapped it around his waist and left the bathroom.

Sirius had made him a cup of tea, by the time he got out, and he struggled into his pajamas (feeling Sirius' eyes on him the whole time but refusing to ask for help), drank his tea and then - despite the fact he had slept all day - got into bed and slept all night. Sirius lay beside him, and his arm wrapped around him was a comforting weight - and though his sleep was fitful, his dreams were not unpleasant.

...

They left the hotel the next day, to go and find somewhere safe and isolated for Remus to transform. 'Are you feeling any better?' Sirius asked him anxiously, over breakfast. 'Now that you've rested?'

Remus smiled, 'yes - much.' Though of course he didn't feel any better at all, and wouldn't until tonight was over and the moon had begun to wane again. He saw the flicker of shadow behind Sirius' grey eyes - and knew he didn't believe him. He reached out and took Sirius' hand across the table, 'I promise, I will be fine.'

'Maybe I was being selfish, asking you to come with me.'

'Yes, you definitely were.'

'Maybe I should have left you in peace at home.'

'Don't be soft! I'm fine. I'm sorry I'm slowing us down…'

'Now you're the one being soft,' Sirius snorted.

Remus smiled again,'but you couldn't have done this alone and we hadn't seen each other in 12 years. I'm glad you didn't just disappear into the night, while I was transformed. Who knows when we would have seen each other again if you'd done that?'

'Probably once Peter reached Voldemort, he rose again and a war broke out,' Sirius said gloomily. 'We'd be back in The Order of the Phoenix.'

'I was always mildly embarrassed by what a terrible name that is.'

'I thought I was the only one!'

'Secret societies always have terrible names - and their existences are always mildly embarrassing. At best.'

'Well - luckily, we're stopping this war before it starts - so we won't have to sign up to Dumbledore's new army and grin and bear whatever awful name he chooses for us this time … Anyway, I think I've come up with a plan for us, for today.'

Remus raised an eyebrow, 'all by yourself?' He got a dark look in response.

'Yes - I looked at the map while you were sleeping…'

'I thought you were watching the moving pictures.'

'Well you slept for a really long time, there was ample time for me to do both. Anyway - I looked at the map and, if we get one of those muggle taxi cab things that they use, there's a densely forested area east of here - should only be a couple of hours drive away.'

'Can we afford a taxi?'

But Sirius only shrugged, 'we can if we gemino our money. See - this is the good part, the forest I'm talking about isn't all that far from Gnomagrad - the wizarding town - which means...'

'We can use magic around there and no one will have any reason to assume it's us.'

'Precisely.'

'Well,' he leaned back in his chair, 'I'm impressed. So - er - did you happen to find an abandoned shepherd's hut on the map or are you coming around to the cage idea?'

'We'll find something.'

'No we won't.'

...

The taxi driver seemed very suspicious of their request to be driven out to a distant forest and left there - but they promised him whatever amount of money he asked for and he agreed.

The drive took just under three hours. It should have been quicker - but they got held up by a cavalcade of armoured vehicles rolling past, and then diverted because a bridge had been blown up. The signs of the war flashed past their windows - stretching out in every direction they looked, marring the landscape and leaving ugly scars gouged into it.

But eventually they reached the edge of the densely packed tree line, got out of the car and handed over the exorbitant amount of money the driver asked of them … which cost them nothing, because their money was not real. Then, feeling him watching them as they walked away, they left the roadside and disappeared into the forest.

'Why do you think he was so suspicious?' Sirius asked.

'He probably thinks we're agents of the other side. Doing something nefarious.'

'Well, what side was he on?'

But Remus only shrugged, 'doesn't matter. Whatever side he's on, there's another side and he thinks we belong to it… I suppose he might alert the authorities. Tell them about us. They might come looking for us … which if they're still in the forest after moonrise could end badly.'

But it was Sirius' turn to shrug, 'we'll put up muggle repelling charms - they'll never come close.'

They kept on walking, travelling deeper and deeper into the forest. It was after noon now, and the sun was making its slow journey westwards and Remus' bones were starting to feel like they were on fire. Every step was making him wince in pain. He tried not to show it - until he stepped in a divot on the ground his ankle turned and he hissed sharply, fighting down the urge to be sick.

Sirius was immediately all concern, and had wrapped his arm around him - helping him regain his balance and supporting his weight. 'What is it? What's wrong?'

'Nothing I just … hurt my ankle.' Now walking on it was causing bolts of agony to shoot right up his leg, even leaning against Sirius. 'I think … I think I need to rest. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be sorry.'

But as Remus limped away to sink down to the ground and lean against a tree, he noticed Sirius gazing anxiously up at the sky - as if to gauge how much time they had left. 'Sunset is at half eight tonight, 8:32 to be precise,' Sirius said.

'How do you know that?' He couldn't keep the surprise from his voice. It seemed a very specific thing for Sirius to know.

'I found this thing while you were sleeping - on the muggle picture box - a whole load of writing. Teletext it was called. It told me all sorts of stuff - the weather…'

'You could just look out of the window,'

'... the football scores and sunrise and set times. It was pretty good. The writing was all boxy and weird though - made my eyes hurt.'

Remus smiled, though even his face muscles were starting to hurt. 'Well - we have about five hours until I need to be locked up then.'

'We've got longer than that.'

But Remus shook his head, 'we have to allow for a margin of error. If the moon is visible early …'

'It might not come out until later.'

'Better safe than sorry. Speaking of which, I am sorry Sirius - but I really don't think I can go much further. Everything hurts...' he caught sight of Sirius' face, twisted with worry. 'It will be better tomorrow - it always is. But this month has been bad - my first for a long time without the potion … and the … everything we've been doing. I was already more tired to start with. I just need to stop - and get tonight over with.'

'But we haven't found a place for you…'

He glanced around. 'Here is fine. We're miles from anywhere, you can set up the enchantments. This is as safe as we'll find.'

'But…' and now Sirius was actually twisting his hands together in a way that reminded Remus of a distressed house elf. 'There isn't a building here - for us to adapt.'

He tried to keep his voice patient. 'Well - do you know if there is one close by?'

'No - but…'

'Look. I'm not up to keeping walking. I'm sorry - but I'm not. I'm not up to keeping looking for something that in all probability does not exist. This is a forest - why would there be an abandoned building in it?'

'Well - someone must look after the forest. A - a gamekeeper, like Hagrid. Or a forester. They might have a hut.'

'And they might be in that hut. What are we going to do, kick them out?'

'We could still look - check.'

'I can't. I really am sorry, Sirius - but now I've sat down I don't want to move again until it's all over. I actually can't face the thought.'

'But - I don't want to put you in a cage.'

Sirius' voice was small - and sad. But Remus was really having to bite his impatience back now. 'And I don't want you to have to. Do you think I like this? Do you think I like being this? But it is what it is and I am what I am and you making a big deal about how awful it is having to lock me up is not making it any easier for me to bear. Alright? Just - do it, Sirius. Don't make a fuss, don't turn it into a big deal - just do it. Just act like it's nothing and it will hurt less.'

Once he was done, he caught sight of Sirius' stricken face - and immediately felt a stab of guilt. 'Sorry,' he muttered. 'I'm just …' but he didn't know what the end of that sentence was, and so instead of finishing it he closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep.

...

When he woke up again, it was to find Sirius with his wand out, creating a large perimeter around them and casting spells. 'Protego maxima,' he was muttering - as his wand swished through the air, 'protego totalum, Muggle repellio, muffliato, salvio hexia…'

'Why salvio hexia ?' Remus asked wearily.

'In case the Ministry Hag comes by, should deflect any jinxes. Sigillium maxima, obstantio... '

'I don't think we need to worry about her, tonight,' he yawned. 'She's not going to risk coming near a transformed werewolf.'

'No - but in the morning … we don't want her to find us while we're still sleeping.' He cast the last charm and, for just a moment, a great dome was visible over them, streaks of colourful magic creating a protective web around them … and then it faded. To all the world it looked as if there was nothing there, but they were now safely inside an unbreakable cocoon of enchantments.

Sirius went to sit beside Remus, and Remus shifted slightly to make room. 'I was thinking I could put a disillusionment charm over your … you know.'

'Cage,' Remus supplied - matter of factly.

'Yeah - just an extra layer of protection. In case anyone does come past.'

'Sounds sensible,' he yawned again.

'I'll be with you though - you know.'

'Not in that confined a space. You stay out here.'

'But I can keep you calm.'

'You can keep me calm from out here.'

'Not as well…'

'Look, Sirius, the wolf is … it's going to go mental, locked in a cage. It's going to spend all night hurling itself at the bars trying to get out. I imagine I'm going to have some pretty colourful bruises when I wake up in the morning. If you're in there with me … you can't withstand a prolonged attack like that with no space to back away. You need to be out here, stopping me from getting out and - if I do - stopping me getting through the enchantments. Nothing else matters.'

'You matter,' Sirius said, defiantly. 'You having as easy a night as possible matters. It matters more than anything.'

But Remus just took hold of his hand and squeezed it tightly. 'Stopping me killing people matters more than anything,' he corrected. 'I'm not going to have an easy night - no matter what you do. That you just have to accept, I'm afraid.'

Sirius looked mutinous, but he didn't say anything - and Remus squeezed his hand again. 'I'm glad I'm with you, Sirius,' he said. 'I'm glad I'm here. I'd rather be here - in a cage - but with you, than home alone. And my night would not be any easier if I were home alone. It would just be more lonely. This - all of it - really isn't that bad.'

Sirius rested his head on Remus' shoulder - and Remus glanced at him in surprise. 'You're too brave, Moony,' he said, 'and too good. This isn't fair.'

'Lots of things are not fair. Twelve years with the dementors wasn't fair - and you're making way less fuss about that than I am about this.'

And finally Sirius smiled, 'well, they're gone now - and we're together. My suffering is over … yours never really goes away.'

'No…' he thought about how Sirius had come back to life, this past month - grown healthy and handsome once again … while he was still old and broken and with no hope of reprieve. 'No I suppose it never does.'

...

The sun grew lower in the sky, and the shadows lengthened and the pair of them stayed where they were - resting together by the tree - until finally Remus sighed and said it was probably time.

Sirius' head came up from where it had been resting on Remus' shoulder. 'Already? - but...'

'It'll be much easier to get me in a cage now than it will be if we leave it too late. Especially as you can't use your wand as Padfoot and you can't be trapped in here with me as Sirius. We need to do this now.'

Still looking like he wished he could argue, Sirius nodded and got to his feet. 'Well - I'll - I'll get to conjuring … it . Shall I?'

But Remus shook his head, wearily. 'No - I need to move. You need to conjure it around me.'

'Why?'

'Because if you make it and I walk in afterwards there will have to be a door. And if there is a door then that is a weak spot for the wolf to attack. It's a needless risk. I'll - I'll go into the middle, you build the cage.'

He struggled to his feet and limped across until he was in the very middle of their protection enchantments. 'About here?'

Sirius scrambled up and followed him, 'alright.' He flicked his wand and a mattress appeared on the ground. Another flick and a sleeping bag lay on top of it.

Remus looked at them in surprise. 'What's that for?'

'You, you idiot - for afterwards. So you can sleep. The wolf might like them as well.'

'Oh, thanks,' and he gratefully sank down on the mattress.

'All right - are you ready?'

He nodded, his jaw was set. 'Yes.'

'Are you sure…? We could still…'

'Just do it.'

Sirius raised his wand. 'Decipulatem,' he cried. Immediately iron bars began to shoot out of the ground, reaching up 8 feet, before they bent at 90 degrees and grew towards each other, forming a latticed roof. Remus had jumped slightly as the cage materialised around him, but had recovered quickly and just watched as the iron formed itself into an impregnable cube of bars.

Once it was made, they both hesitated and then cautiously went to check the strength and security of the cage from either side of the bars.

'I think that should hold,' Sirius said, giving it a firm shake.

'Let's hope so.'

They were practically face to face, their hands wrapped around the same bar, testing it - only inches apart. They made eye contact - and Remus felt himself blush. 'Well,' he said, dropping his hand and taking a step back. 'I should probably move further inside.' He headed back to the mattress.

'Are you sure you're OK?'

'I'm fine,' he tried to keep his voice even - as if this was no matter and he didn't mind at all. As if it was not awful and humiliating to have to be locked up like this. But he found he couldn't bring himself to look back at Sirius.

'Well - er - if you're ready I'll do the disillusionment charm.'

'Yes - fine.' It would be better once Sirius couldn't see him, he thought.

There was a cracking sound, as Sirius flicked his wand, and then it looked like a cascade of water was slowly enveloping the outside of the cage. Looking out, it was like peering at Sirius through a waterfall.

'That was weird,' he heard Sirius say, almost to himself - and then his voice was raised. 'Moony, can you hear me?'

'Yes - I'm invisible - not deaf.' Though he wasn't invisible to himself. It was his cage that was hidden from view, and him inside of it.

'Oh - good - are you OK in there?' His voice was still too loud, like he was trying to call and make himself heard from a great distance.

'Yes - I'm invisible. Not in danger.'

'Smart alec,' he heard Sirius mutter.

'Still not deaf!' He looked around. Through the disillusionment charm, it looked like the forest was melting; everything was blurry and drippy and oozing downwards. He looked up at the sky, the sun was almost gone now - the moon would be out soon. He sighed and started to remove his robes.

He must have made noises as he stripped - which wasn't surprising as he was in pain and it hurt - for Sirius suddenly called out to him, his voice sharp and worried. 'Are you all right? What's going on?'

'Nothing - I'm just taking my clothes off.' There was silence from outside and he felt himself blush all over - wishing he had said it some other way. But at least Sirius couldn't see his embarrassment. Or his nakedness.

Once he was bare, he folded his clothes neatly - put his wand on top of the pile - and then passed it all through the bars. 'Here - look after these for me, will you?'

'Merlin!' Sirius swore. 'That was freaky - an arm and a whole load of clothes just coming out of nowhere. Give me warning next time will you?'

'I'm not going to stick any other parts of me out, Sirius.'

'I should hope not!'

He returned to the mattress and sat on it, shuffling into the sleeping bag to give him some kind of cover as - even hidden under an invisibility charm as he was - it still felt awkward to be sitting naked in the middle of a forest. Though - not as awkward as last month, when he had woken up in the middle of the Forbidden Forest, stark naked, his clothes destroyed, and wondered how on earth he was going to get back to the castle without causing a school wide scandal … Thank God for James' old invisibility cloak, and the fact that he was the one who had had it when he transformed...

'Are you still you in there?' Sirius called to him.

'Yes I'm still me - you'll know when I'm not me.'

'I don't like not being able to see you.'

'Well - there won't be a "me" to see soon.'

'You're still you, Moony - especially when I'm with you.'

'Are you going to transform?'

'Yeah - Padfoot's eyes are different. I think I'll be able to see you better. Plus I use my nose more - it's better than my eyes - so I'll know exactly where you are, even if you are all blurry.'

'Why is it that important that you can see me?' He rather liked being hidden, liked the fact that Sirius couldn't see him locked up like this. And the privacy of being able to take his clothes off without Sirius seeing had been welcome.

'Because talking to thin air is weird and I don't like it. Anyway that's not the only reason I need to transform. I know tonight won't be easy for you, locked in there, trying to get out - but it'll be easier if there's not a human just the other side of the bars. My presence would drive you wild… I'm not going to do that to you.'

Remus reflected that Sirius' presence always drove him wild … but he stayed quiet and hoped Sirius could not guess what he was thinking.

The skies darkened. The stars came out. And the great, shining, silver disk rose high in the sky … and Remus felt his whole body seize up. His limbs started to shake uncontrollably, his hands curled back into paws, he felt the fur growing on his skin, his bones snapping, his face elongating into a muzzle and the hair sprouting on that …There was pain and worry and no small amount of shame ... and then his mind lost all coherence or consciousness … and Remus was gone.

...

He woke up again, aching all over - to find the sun starting to rise, the birds starting to sing. The disillusionment charm had gone - and he could see the trees clearly again … And the cage was gone too. Sirius must have vanished it the moment Remus was himself again.

He smiled gratefully at the man sleeping beside him. Sirius had conjured himself a mattress and sleeping bag as well, and put it right next to Remus'. He'd also put Remus' clothes and wand right beside him as well, so he could dress himself once he was ready.

He snuggled back down into the sleeping bag - vaguely impressed that the wolf had managed to get into it, the right way up and everything, and had not ripped it to pieces. It seemed an unusually careful move for him when he was in his feral state. But he supposed it must have settled itself down for a sleep just before the moon had set …

And then, as it was still early, as he was still bone weary and as Sirius showed no signs whatsoever of waking up, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift off back to sleep - trusting to the protective enchantments and charms to keep them safe and hidden.