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Goro's Night of Nostalgia
Wednesday—May 27, 2021
Goro knew Ren could never stay in one place too long. His heart belonged to the world, but still, Goro still secretly hoped somewhere the bespectacled boy would slow down. He stared at his friend and looked at the tips of his shoes as Ryuji slung an arm around Ren's neck as if the motion was casually done between the pair of them, but judging by Ren's small curvature of his lips, it was normal.
Goro felt a pang of envy as he stared at the group of friends he had felt so awkwardly inserted into, but swallowed it before it got worse. Ren had not been the first to extend a hand—it was Ann and Haru. In fact, Ren was one of the last to speak to him after he had a change of heart and survived the Metaverse collapse. The memories he and Ren shared felt like miles apart—days spent at the cafe, playing billiards, or playing at the arcade.
Little by little, Goro had felt himself opening up to Ren in a way he never felt with the others. The light on the lenses of Ren's glasses covered his eyes, but he could tell they were alight with happiness at being reunited with his friends. Goro had first met the boy when he was a 15 year old transfer student at Shujin Academy and watched him grow since then—grow into someone he once envied, once distrusted, once hated, and then everything in between.
He was nothing more than a shy student who kept his head down because of the labels thrust upon him. Ren was this...attic scum with a criminal record and parents who tossed him out at their earliest convenience—Goro pitied the kid. But, Ren proved to be so much more. He noticed this the moment Ryuji became a more prominent figure in Ren's life. Ren began to open up and his bond with the troublemaker grew deeper.
Goro met Ren when he was already a Phantom Thief—and probably the leader at that point. He was still this quiet kid, but behind the façade of silence and stoicism, there was a witty, sarcastic spirit with a fire for a heart. Goro had never met anyone with passion quite like Ren's other than his own—it was the initial reason Goro felt drawn to him. While Goro struggled with the would-be prime minister, his father, he found comfort and solace in him.
Together, they spent their free time together, often spending hours on end together and pushing the limit of time to catch a few extra hours. It was during those times, Goro realized he thoroughly enjoyed spending his time with the other boy. It was like having a friend and perhaps if he were not so bent on revenge against his father, he and Ren could have been great friends…..perhaps…..
Goro shook himself from those thoughts and watched Ren in the present, sitting down next to Ann and Yusuke with those hands back in his pockets and Morgana in his lap. Ren had not come back to Tokyo without good reason or big news—and he did not disappoint. Ren had come back from their road trip saying he was going to study abroad with Ryuji, Ann, and Yusuke. Morgana, of course, was following him all the way across the world.
~FLASHBACK~
"You're leaving?" Goro asked, speaking for the first time in hours….since Ren broke the news to a shocked, happy, and tearful group.
Ren looked back at him and nodded, expression betraying nothing. His eyes flickered but they remained impassive as ever.
"New York City has an international student program, Scope Studies," Ann said cheerfully but her face reflected the gloomy atmosphere.
"We're happy for you all, we are," Futaba said and pushed her orange hair over her shoulder. "Just sad for us. I don't wanna disband the Phantom Thieves. Especially that our leader is leaving."
"You're making me blush," Ren deadpanned but there was a note of genuineness to his tone and his cheeks definitely adorned a red hue.
Ryuji let out a bark-like laugh and shook his head. "We aren't disbandin'! Besides, I'm going into sports there, Ann's going for fashion, and Yusuke's going for art. New York City's got it all."
"How's your English?" Haru asked teasingly.
"How is your English?" Goro asked Ren a bit more privately.
Ren adopted a face of concentration, genuine or not, and summoned his best sentence. "It is better and I have been practicing."
"And it's not just you?" Goro inquired again, making sure he was, at least, not travelling across the world alone.
"C'mon on, man, we're right here," Ryuji whined and gestured to Ann, Yusuke, and Sumire. "We got accepted, too!"
"That surprises me," Goro said earnestly, folding his arms over his chest but wearing an easy-going smile. He eyed Ryuji before his gaze travelled over to Ann, Sumire, then settling on Ren.
"Ouch," Ryuji deadpanned but there was light jest in his tone. "But I got better marks than Ren, here."
"Liar," Ann said and made a playful swipe at Ryuji's head.
"Well, I did in one subject," Ryuji said defiantly, throwing a grin to Ren over his shoulder. "Sorry for sellin' you out, man."
Goro couldn't help but smile secretly as Ren turned even redder and rubbed the back of his neck and ran a hand through his shaggy hair. He chuckled softly but fondly and itched to reach out and initiate a sort of playful, physical contact, but he couldn't bring himself to do so.
~END~
Goro knew right then and there he was going to apply for the Scope Studies program and with his public standing and excellent academic performance, it did not take them long to accept him. Ren, along with everyone else, was initially shocked when Goro let him in on the news, however, Ann was the first to congratulate him. Once she broke the tension, the others quickly joined in and welcomed him as a member.
"So...it feels weird throwing you a goodbye party—I can't decide if I'm happy or sad. Can I be both?" Futaba said a bit breathlessly and spoke to EMMA, her voice assisted app, to search Scope Studies. "It's cool and all, but I don't think I'd leave Sojiro."
Whatever the rest said, it never stuck in Goro's head. His mind was always occupied with other thoughts and as of right now, it was of their adventures in the States and what exactly they would run into over there. Did they feel prepared or did they all think this would be like a trip to the Metaverse?
Goro didn't want to think about that place either. There was so much he had to learn, not only about the world but the teen in front of him.
"Are you packed?" Ren asked, switching to his native tongue. "We leave tomorrow morning."
Goro nodded, feeling the uneasiness and anxiety dissipate momentarily. They were spending May, June, July, and August settling into the States, learning their culture and systems before going to school there. Goro had immense anxiety over it, but moments like this made it disappear.
"I had the essentials packed for days," Goro replied.
Ren hummed and followed through with that same, small upward curve of his lips. He adjusted his glasses and stuck his hands back in his pockets, turning to address Sojiro. Goro, ready to slip back into his thoughts, was startled by a random arm coming around his neck and shoulders.
"It's like a five-man pack against the world!" Ryuji said loudly, brown eyes alight with excitement. He, however, frowned and pulled back. "Was I interruptin' something?"
"And two women!" Ann shouted from across the room.
"Not interrupting," Goro said earnestly, giving Ryuji a real smile and one that was not forced. "Are you packed?"
"Urgh, you sound like Makoto," Ryuji groaned dramatically and threw a look at her over his shoulder. "Harpin' on me all week about that."
Goro shrugged. "It's warranted."
This earned a soft laugh from Makoto and a smile. It felt nice.
The farewell party lasted longer than Goro had initially believed, finding himself staring at his knees more than at anyone else let alone engaging in conversation. Is this how Futaba felt, anxious all the time around people? Goro found it unsettling, but his past actions made it feel hard to fit in. If only the change of heart came sooner.
It was nearing midnight when Makoto rose to her feet and gestured to Haru. "We both have lectures tomorrow. It's time for us to go home."
Haru hummed in agreement. Unsurprisingly, they spent the next ten minutes saying goodbye and exchanging hugs.
"Sumire gives her farewell and wishes she could be here," Makoto said as she let go of Ann, looking at the ones who were leaving. "But her plane leaves in a few weeks so she's trying to get everything ready."
"That's hellish, dude. I just packed last night," Ryuji said and nudged Ren in the arm with his elbow. "I know you did, too."
Ren lifted an eyebrow, but the fact that he did not deny it said everything. Still, it was amusing to Goro to imagine Ren lacking in strategy when he was the great Phantom Thieves leader with all the ideas for plans.
"I'm still bummed she ain't here though," Ryuji added as an afterthought, rolling his arms and massaging his shoulder.
So that was who was missing. Goro knew their numbers were off. Ryuji moaned about the woes of school as he lamented over the lack of Sumire's presence, but eventually let off once Makoto reminded him that when she transferred back to her old school and everyone offered parting gifts, he came with a carbonated beverage.
"She drank it!" Ryuji said indignantly, but it was futile.
"Did you see your friend?" Goro asked Ann, who was sipping on her own lemonade.
"Shiho?" Ann asked and beamed, pushing her hair over her shoulder. "We hung out pretty much this entire week. She'll be travelling abroad for her volleyball game soon, but in Europe!"
"Sounds like she is doing well...I hope," Goro said, hoping and wishing dearly he said the right thing. Evidently, he did because Ann nodded enthusiastically. "I'm glad."
Makoto and Haru finally turned their attention to Ren, which made Goro's spine stiffen. He watched his friend awkwardly return half of a one-armed hug before retreating a few steps back and sticking his hands back in his pockets. Goro was never one for physical contact, but he felt a sense of relief when he saw Ren shy away, too.
"I'm tired, too," Ren said earnestly, speaking up for the first time in a while, running a hand through his hair.
"Aw, man," Ryuji said and hung his head, slumping his shoulders.
"You're staying with us, remember?" Ann said and waved her hand in his face as if that would help jog his memory. "We're leaving early in the morning so we already agreed we will all stay over at LeBlanc tonight."
"Oh yeah!" Ryuji chirped in a much more cheerful voice.
Yusuke, Ann, and Ryuji made their way upstairs where Ren resided when in Tokyo, but Goro could not will his feet to move. He watched Ren depart the cafe as he walked the younger girl, Futaba, home safely, feeling more out of place than ever. He headed outside with his hands in his pockets, something he had picked up when he started spending time with Ren. He waited patiently outside the cafe until the bespectacled boy returned.
"You're still here?"
Goro looked up in surprise and felt his eyes widen. Ren stood before him and rolled the sleeves of his white button-up to his elbows. He frowned and knit his eyebrows, but he didn't wear an expression of dislike or contempt but rather he wore a look of guarded curiosity.
"I was just…"
"What?" Ren filled in after Goro lost his ability to formulate words.
"There's...nothing you feel we need to—"
"Talk about," Ren interjected and this time did frown in displeasure. He rubbed the back of his neck then folded his arms over his chest defensively. "The Phantom Thieves accepted your return. What else is there?"
Did he accept it? Goro looked at his feet, an instinct when he wanted to avoid confrontation (which did not happen often). But, he stopped and forced himself to look at Ren and meet his eyes…which were so dark, they looked blue...he hadn't been this close to Ren since…
"So, you say we made amends already and...there is nothing else?" Goro pressed suspiciously, but he was not the only one who was apprehensive of the entire conversation.
"You turned yourself in and protected my friends," Ren said simply, keeping his tone flat and impossible to read. His facade had never faltered before so why was Goro expecting it to change now?
"But there are cops still lurking around you, aren't there?" Goro guessed, taking a shot in the dark. He looked at Ren with a calculating gaze, something he found easier to do.
"There always will be," Ren said truthfully, grunting the answer more than anything like it was a mere nuisance rather than a burden. "As long as the Phantom Thieves work, the blame will always be shifted to us."
Did Ren mean to include him when he said "us"? Goro hummed and looked away from Ren and past his shoulder, tapping a finger on his leg. "I tried to do what I could...when I came back after the distorted reality, I realized—"
Ren held up a hand to stop him from talking. Goro looked surprised although his lips curved downward. He waited for Ren to say something, but when the latter offered nothing else on the subject, Goro felt his hopes of reconciliation dash.
"Nevermind," he said a bit forcefully, ready to leave and suddenly regretting applying and accepting the offer with Scope Studies. Perhaps he would be better in Japan where he would—
"I need to show you something."
Goro, once again, was taken by surprise. He could not recall a time or a person who could catch him off guard as much as Ren could and has. His eyebrows furrowed and watched Ren enter the cafe for a few minutes and return with the bag that was always seen hanging on his shoulder. Goro opened his mouth to ask, but Ren pulled something out.
"Recognize it?" Ren asked, holding out something wrapped in a cloth.
Goro accepted the object, immediately recognizing the outline of a gun, yet it did not feel heavy enough to be real. Curious but afraid, he merely stared at it until Ren grunted and stuffed his hands back in his pockets. Goro knew it was his silent invitation to open it, so he did. He pulled back the blue cloth and stared down at a small, toy ray gun.
"So…'proof of justice'?" Ren inquired knowingly.
"You saw?" Goro balked, a blush creeping up on his now-pallid face. "W-When?"
"When I initially thought you were dead," Ren said flatly, now some emotion finally creeping into his tone. He folded his arms over his chest, a classic defensive move when he wanted to put up a metaphorical barrier. It hurt Goro that he was on the receiving end of it from Ren. "I…"
Ren had trailed off, leaving Goro to fill in the blanks, but all he could do was guess. Did Ren miss him — as much as Goro missed him? He could sense the anger and possibly the hurt in Ren's tone. Was he hurt by that? Goro scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and sighed inwardly.
"I'm sorry," Goro said and added as an afterthought, "but, I did not know how any of that worked until I realized my father's cognition of me died—and so did the cognition that my former self saw…but not my actual self..."
Ren remained silent.
"That made more sense in my head," Goro admitted sheepishly and looked at the toy gun in his hand before holding it out to give it back.
"I have no use for it," Ren said shortly, looking away as he cast his gaze anywhere else but Goro. He nodded to the toy, but still never met his eyes.
Goro mourned over the times he and Ren used to share whether it was playing games at the arcade or a game of billiard, or sitting and enjoying a drink and listening to music. He wanted to say something, but the words that came to mind were far and few between. Nothing he would say could properly articulate his thoughts. Still, seeing Ren under the stars seemed almost poetic.
"You're taller. I used to be taller than you," Goro found himself saying before he could stop himself, but he found himself a few inches shorter, just shy of reaching Ren's eyes.
Ren looked taken aback by the sudden change in subject; it felt good to break that mask of reservation. After all, Ren was human with emotions after all... what would the inside of Ren's heart look like?
"I suppose that's what happens over a year," Goro said with a shrug of his shoulders, giving Ren a nod of his head. "I hope to enjoy our last year of high school…"
"What do you mean?" Ren asked but stopped when Morgana came out the door, looking for Ren. "I'll be up soon."
Morgana flicked his tail. "What are you two talking about that's taking so long? I wanna get some sleep! Is it important?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Ren snorted and rubbed a hand over his mouth, shooting Goro a look from the corner of his eye. "Let's get some sleep."
He gestured to the cat, who he followed back inside Cafe LeBlanc. He stopped at the door, holding it open but not going in yet. Goro watched Ren turn back and look over his shoulder.
"Goodnight."
Goro tried to respond, but the words were caught somewhere between his chest and his throat and all he could manage was a garbled, uncharacteristic, and very unbecoming noise. Ren's eyebrow rose up and his lips quirked up into the smallest smile, although it had a hint of smugness to the look. Goro exhaled sharply through his nose and watched Ren's lithe frame disappear behind the door.
It would certainly be interesting spending time with him again.
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of a long series! Stick by and watch them grow! Please excuse my English (it is not my first language).