All rights remain.
Breaking Walls
Monday—June 01, 2021
Plane rides were definitely not Goro's thing. The take-offs and landings, the tiny aisles, and the turbulence—how he hated the jostling, jerking movements of rough air currents. He was overtired, emotionally drained, and now stuck on a plane for another nine hours. He had to admit, France was a nice break in between the long flight, but he resented the idea of having to get back on one. He would definitely make anyone who desired to visit him fly out to the States instead of him returning to Japan. Fortunately, he would not have to worry about it seeing as the only ones who would visit were on the plane with him and he doubted they would ever visit him willingly if it were not for the teen sitting next to him.
Goro stole a glance at Ren, who was occupied with the airplane window, watching the city of Paris grow smaller as the plane gained altitude. He would have found the aesthetics pleasing, but if Goro's stomach flipped one more time, he was afraid his small breakfast would come up tenfold. He sighed and shifted uncomfortably in his seat, tugging slightly the collar around his neck, which felt incredibly tight at the moment.
"Who would have thought the great Detective Prince unable to handle a plane ride," Ren hummed softly, looking over his shoulder with that godforsaken smirk that made Goro grind his teeth. "You lost a little color, Akechi."
"Oh, man, don't throw up," Ryuji moaned and moved over to the edge so he could fall back asleep.
"Or down here!" Morgana hissed from the bag, stretching like a cat before closing his eyes. "I just cleaned myself!"
"Oh, relax," Goro huffed but stopped when he felt his stomach lurch for the third time in twelve minutes. This was going to be a very long nine hours.
Ren's eyes surveyed Goro's motions carefully, realizing that he was not exaggerating his motion sickness. He placed a hand on Goro's knee to draw the attention to himself.
"Focus on something else other than the nausea," he instructed like it was easy.
Goro grunted and rolled his eyes, deciding there was no harm indulging in his stupid idea. "You're studying psychology?"
"Maybe don't talk."
Goro's face adopted his trademark scowl that he wore so often, it became like a second face to many. "Maybe you should be more specific with your instructions."
Ren's eyes widened for the smallest of seconds, but his face broke into a grin that finally felt genuine and he leaned back in his seat, knee bouncing. He shook his head. "You're all over the place. Here…"
Ren pulled out a pair of new headphones and plugged it into his phone, taking the right and giving Goro the left. He took it in surprise and placed it in his ear, immediately greeted with music. He leaned back and murmured his gratitude. Ren seemed to have liked his genuinity for he smiled and leaned his head back, eyes closing lazily as his fingers began tapping the beat on his knee. The lyrics were foreign, but if he listened hard enough, he recognized the English that came blaring from the speakers.
"What's this?" he asked.
"Ann made a playlist she thought saw fit for me," Ren replied, eyes still closed. "Sometimes I don't understand the words, but I appreciate the melody."
"Now who is sounding like Kitagawa?" Goro snorted as he rolled his head to the side to look at Ren, who mirrored his actions, arcing one eyebrow as if challenging him to elaborate. "I guess you find your soul in music or whatever cliche thing teenagers say?"
Ren chuckled as his eyes fluttered open (which he closed momentarily) behind those black-framed glasses, searching Goro's face for some sort of unspoken answer. "I guess you are not fond of music?"
"I never said that," the detective corrected lightly, eyes moving to stare up at the plane's tiny fan and seatbelt sign. "Though I admit, I was never a fan of this...pop everyone is so fond of."
"Too mainstream, right?" Ren droned on, clicking his tongue.
Goro rolled his eyes, deciding he would not indulge in Ren's probing for amusement. He focused on the music, making sense of the lyrics as he tried to immerse himself in the melody (as Ren would say). However, sitting here with his friend at his side, arms brushing as they shared the same armrest, shot his nerves. He watched Ren's chest rise up and down as his friend stared out the window, watching the world disappear in favor of the endless sea of clouds. It was...this was what he was missing. He could catch the faint whiff of Ren's natural smell mingled with Yoshizawa's perfume and old cigarette smoke. The noirette's relaxed posture offered Goro a strong sense of comfort.
It reminded him of older times when the two would sit on the couch in Ren's horrendously dusty and cold attic room back in Leblanc, sharing hours together until they fell asleep next to one another. If they weren't on the couch, they would sometimes migrate to Ren's bed and lay head to head, hands always folded over their stomachs as they shared whatever thoughts came to mind first.
Sometimes they would talk about their pasts, sometimes about their presents, and other times they would talk about their futures. Talk about the future, however, was always vague and ambiguous, which made it all the more exciting. It was the prospect of not knowing that made it...special...Goro once thought they could discover their futures together.
His stomach twisted with guilt and sadness. Now it felt decades too late despite the conversations happening just over a year ago. Goro watched Ren stretch like a cat in his seat, long legs situating them more comfortably, and crack his knuckles. Goro lifted his gaze to meet Ren's and the other tilted his head in question.
"Nothing," Goro said and looked away, bending down to dig around in his backpack, searching for the book he placed inside. He pulled out his new read, about to submerge himself in the text when Ren's laugh rang in his ears. He jerked his head up and frowned. "What?"
"That's what you're reading?" Ren asked and snatched the book from his hands, fingers brushing lightly over the title. "A book about billiards?"
"Of course," Goro snapped and made a grab for his book, but to hell with Ren's reflexes. The teen held it out of reach and put his arm up like a bar barrier, too quick for his own good. "Damn you. Give it here."
"Why are you reading this?" Ren inquired, still not listening.
"Because it is a fascinating text and if I want to improve on a skill, I read first," Goro huffed, annoyed that he really just explained himself...and even more annoyed at how ridiculous it sounded. Evidently, Ren thought so, too, because he broke out into that infuriatingly smug, no-good grin. "I should have sat next to Kitagawa."
"Is that so?" Ren hummed flippantly, skimming through the pages curiously. "Detective Prince doing his investigation on perfecting billiards tricks. Why not just ask me?"
" You teach me when I beat you plenty of times?" Goro asked skeptically, lifting an eyebrow.
He ignored the whispers that broke out when one girl began pointing at him and muttering excitedly. Ren finally picked up his head and looked over the seats as the men and women pointed at Goro. The brunette adopted a facade of practiced elegance, sitting up straighter and keeping his eyes on his book, making sure they did not bounce around and give off the impression of nerves.
"Why did you take a hiatus?" Ren asked, eyes straying down to Goro's book.
"To be an honest student," Goro replied lightly and without hesitation, using the same, false charisma he would whenever he would appear in public or on television. He watched Ren narrow his eyes and shook his head with a fake smile. "Were you expecting a more flavorful answer?"
"No," Ren said, running a hand over his mouth. "I was wondering why you're back with the formalities."
Goro fell silent and raised the book to cover his face. However, the crowd that began to form in the aisles to take his picture were quickly shooed away by flight attendants, who sent out a string of apologies. Goro held up a hand to stop her ramblings and reassured it was not her fault. However, he was much more embittered for the next hour; he was not sure if he hated the ones who subtly tried sneaking pictures or the ones who blatantly shoved their phones in his face and took his picture.
Ryuji cussed the woman craning in her seat to get a few more pictures and leaned forward to hide Goro from view. The detective had to stifle an oncoming gasp as he watched Sakamoto defend him. If he were not there to witness, he would have never believed it.
"Let the guy be, lady," Ryuji huffed and flipped her off. "Take my pic and make sure ya get that in there, too. Goin' around and wakin' me up from my sleep. Damn…"
The woman huffed as Ren tapped Goro's knee and offered to switch seats, an offer he could not refuse. Goro rose up first and immediately jerked awkwardly as the headphone in his left ear restrained him. With a rather undignified yelp, he nearly tumbled into Ren's lap, who looked taken aback, but willing to help steady Goro by the waist.
"Careful," the bespectacled boy said.
Goro, now disgruntled, awkwardly clambered around Ren, who slid over to the next seat with grace and ease. He slumped into the window seat, effectively hidden from the view of the woman from across the aisle. He shook his head and adjusted his jacket, dusting off some debris on his legs.
"Unbelievable," he said and shook his head before turning his attention to the other boys. "Thank you, Sakamoto."
"It's Ryuji," the troublemaker said flatly, albeit he broke out into a grin, holding his hand up for a high-five. "We're on the same side, man. There's no point in holdin' grudges for the past."
Goro blinked, unable to find words.
"You left him speechless," Ren said to Ryuji and nudged his arm with his elbow in the same manner Ryuji did with him. "A feat even I haven't mastered yet."
Ryuji howled with laughter, earning himself a few stares, but he didn't seem to have a care in the world; he was simply happy. Goro admired that. He, himself, felt like a stick, with a quick fuse lit on both ends. He was, without a doubt, uptight and reserved though he wanted to let loose like he was able to in the Metaverse; perhaps that is why desired to go back so strongly.
He got to temporarily leave his old life behind. He looked over at Ren as the shadow of Joker gleamed behind those glasses. The moment he met Ren, he knew the teen was no follower. He was never a "yes, sir" kind of kid unless that respect was earned and it was another thing Goro admired so deeply. Conversely, Ryuji's loud, confident, and impulsive personality complemented Ren's almost perfectly. As he watched the two interact, he could understand why they became such fast friends. While their leader was assertive in his own way, Ryuji acted as his megaphone. They were quite the pair, themselves.
He would never have that bond.
Goro forced himself to read his book although his mind retained none of the information, very unusual since he loved this book. He looked at his watch and inwardly groaned; they had four hours left, but it still felt too long. He sat back and ran both hands over his face in exhaustion, rubbing the corners of his eyes to get rid of the blurriness that overtook his vision.
"You okay?"
The soft voice was filled with concern. Goro dropped his hands in his lap and turned to nod at Ren, who was still frowning and clearly unconvinced.
"You never answered my question," Goro said after a pause, studying the boy on his right with narrowing eyes. "You are studying psychology?"
Ren looked away and down at the phone in his hands, biting his lip in a troublesome way.
"What?" Goro pressed, feeling more comfortable as the one prodding for answers. "Avoidance stands as quite the red flag for a detective."
"You are on hiatus," Ren said in an inscrutable voice. "It's just you and me."
"And all of the people," Goro snorted.
"With nothing else to do," Ren replied and sat up straighter, fixing him with a scrutinizing, unwavering gaze. "D'you want the truth or a fable?"
"I want you," Goro said firmly and cleared his throat as he felt his face grow hot. "To answer as you would."
"Yes, I study psychology," Ren said with a nod of confirmation. "Though I have focused more on law as of late."
"Law?" Goro asked in surprise then frowned. "You and I must be taking similar courses then."
"Doesn't matter in the end," Ren replied darkly and pushed his glasses up his nose and leaned back, head still hanging low. "I doubt many universities will accept me with my past."
Goro felt the emptiness of Ren's heart in his own and it hurt even more that there was nothing he could do that he felt would make the saddened boy feel better. He knew it was true but he still wanted to offer some words of comfort, a strange and foreign feeling to him.
"I'll keep trying," the Trickster said reassuringly though there was always going to be that shadow of doubt.
Ren pulled his arm off the armrest and rubbed his wrists unconsciously, something Goro noticed he did whenever he spoke of specific subjects, mostly those of the past. The first time he noted this was their first night laying on Ren's bed, mulling over their broken pasts. Ren hardly spoke of his biological family, but Goro did not have to be a detective to know it was not a lavished one. He talked about the arrest and imprisonment a little more freely although his fingers went to wrap themselves around his wrists...just like they were presently.
"Ren," Goro said a bit sharply, snapping the boy out of whatever stupor he was in. "What's your story on that? Why do you do that?"
He gestured to Ren's hands, which dropped from his wrists and into his lap.
"I noticed the night we spent together talking about your hometown."
Ren hummed as a small smile graced his lips. He chuckled although there was little humor in it, perhaps it was a tinge of sadness. "Ever the detective."
Goro suppressed the desire to roll his eyes. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."
This time, Ren let out a warm laugh that stopped Goro's heart on the spot. He never thought he would hear that kind of laugh again let alone be the reason for it. He felt his chest constrict, fingers tingling with anxiety.
"It's nothing deep," Ren promised and held up his hands as if that would make him transparent to all his secrets and layers of mystery.
Goro grabbed him by the elbow and forced Ren's sleeve down to reveal a hideous map of scars—the most prominent being from handcuffs. The telltale ragged skin, distorted and discolored, wrapped around his wrists indicated inflicted damage and the way he rubbed his hands and arms on occasion meant something was wrong.
"They didn't take any chances with the cuffs on you, did they?" Goro asked smoothly, grateful for his experience investigating every agonizing detail of a person...especially in times like this. Hours spent practicing analyzing and studying felt worth it.
Goro also loved catching Ren off guard.
"When did this happen?" Goro asked, almost regretting the answer immediately after seeing Ren's face harden as his guard came back up. Goro could guess the answer by then.
"First time was the assault," Ren muttered and pulled his sleeves down, eyes skittering over to Ryuji as if to make sure he was truly asleep. "The second time was in the interrogation room."
The ambush at Sae-sun's palace...Goro had a feeling those would be the two answers. Ren never did discuss what happened in that interrogation room and even though it was his cognition, he still endured the battle wounds. And he was responsible…which made it worse.
"Both of which were my fault," Goro said, ripping off the metaphorical bandaid, voicing what they were both thinking, addressing the elephant in the room, so to speak, or whatever way else to put it. Was he going to apologize? Goro highly doubted it, but he did feel at fault.
"It perfects my bad boy image, doesn't it?" Ren quipped, this time taking Goro off guard.
"Y-you?" he stammered then fought to recompose himself. "You're ridiculous, Amamiya."
"Probably," Ren said in agreement, smiling again and leaning back. He was comfortable with the way the conversation was going again.
Goro sighed and leaned back, too, suddenly struck with an idea. "Are you good at cutting hair?"
Ren hummed in question as if he was not sure he heard correctly.
"Are you good at cutting hair?" Goro repeated.
Ren sat up and looked at him with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Where did this come from?"
"I need you to cut my hair when we get to the States," Goro stated simply as there truly was nothing more to it.
"Sure," Ren said and ran a hand through his own thick locks, making it more unruly than it already was.
"There was another thing I wanted to talk to you about," Goro said after a few moments of silence, catching onto Ren's apprehensive look. "Calm down, it's nothing personal. It's about the Metaverse."
Ren visibly relaxed and nodded, prompting him to continue with a wave of his hand. "What about it?"
"I want to know how it has changed," Goro said as he hastily made an outline of how he wanted this conversation to go. "Let's start with after Maruki's distorted reality was reversed. I already told you how I came back unscathed—Shido admitted his crimes though my name was never mentioned once."
"Your crimes were never brought to light outside the Metaverse," Ren supplied as he folded his arms over his chest, keeping his posture open and slack. "And only your cognitive form was destroyed."
"Until Shido's Palace collapsed," Goro said with an impressed nod, surprised at how quickly Ren caught on. He folded his ankles and set his book in his lap. "I returned, only to find myself and my future controlled by Maruki—"
"What was it like?" Ren asked, turning the interrogation on him.
Once again, the detective saw right through his attempt to make it about Goro. But, he remembered how devastated Ren had genuinely sounded when he castigated him for hiding. It was something Goro knew the other would never forgive him for.
"Like a dream," he replied the best he could, deciding to be more translucent with Ren for the sake of his own self-guilt. "As though I was watching my life unfold while I had no control, which is as vague and cryptic as it sounds…"
He looked at his hands.
"A similar feeling I feel when it is you and me."
Ren tilted his head, eyebrows pinching and looking confused.
"Two universes stuck on the same collision course," Goro said and began tracing the letters of his book with a finger absentmindedly.
"I'm glad you came," Ren said suddenly then added in a well-practiced conceited tone. "I need to beat you in chess again. I liked winning."
"Don't get used to it," Goro snapped but even he couldn't hide the smile breaking his fake look of annoyance.
Would it be possible to break through the walls dividing them?
Maybe...