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To Fear Fear

Tuesday—June 9, 2021

Goro never remembered falling asleep, but he sure remembered waking up. With every trip to the Velvet Room, he at least regained consciousness whilst sitting on a chair...but ever since he started sharing with Ren, his positions got more uncomfortable. This time, he roused from his slumber on the stone ground. Every muscle, especially those in his lower back, groaned and moaned in protest. He sat up, hand immediately going to cradle his head, which felt heavy.

"Deceiver, welcome."

Goro recognized the voice immediately and gave her a nod of acknowledgement. He had gotten used to the weight of the chains around his wrists and ankles, but they were still uncomfortable. He sighed and decided it was time to get to his feet. He made his way to his cell door, looking down at the young girl. Taken outside of the Velvet Room, she could have easily passed for a legit child (save for her glowing yellow eyes).

"Trickster, welcome."

Goro's head snapped up to the cell across from his, spotting Ren's thin frame emerging from the shadows. The doors to both cells slowly swung open, allowing them to step out of their prison. Goro dragged the chains behind him as he and Ren closed the distance. The detective was feeling irritable over the fact he was back in the godawful striped jumpsuit, tugging uncomfortably at the collar. He gave the other teen a stiff nod and turned his attention to the girl.

"You must heed my warning," Lavenza told them gravely. "Your fears will become your greatest enemy, who will guide you to triumph."

Goro tried not to get too caught up in the self-contradicting statement, instead choosing to move forward with the conversation. "What do I have to fear?"

From his left, he could hear Ren chuckle.

"Fear is inevitable," Lavenza said knowingly, eyes piercing his as they both seemed to share some unknown thought.

Goro knew she might be seeing right through him, but he had stiffened at the subtle threat.

"Not our ace detective," Ren piped up, looking over at Goro and dipped his head at him. There was a humorless smile on his face. "He's afraid of nothing."

Lavenza merely lifted her small hand and snapped her fingers. Goro was immediately thrown into darkness as if the lights had been shut out. His chains rattled as he immediately transformed into Crow...expecting to recognize the weight of his black mask, but he looked down at himself and saw white instead. He was wearing his old attire, the one he wore as a disguise.

"Robin Hood," Goro said as he removed the red mask, calling out for his old Persona. With the new light provided, he expected to see something, but all he saw was darkness.

"Goro?"

Goro whipped around, ears straining to catch Ren's voice; he could hear him, but he still could not see him.

"Joker," came a voice that sounded exactly like him, but most definitely did not come from him.

Goro's eyes were blinded by the sudden burst of white light; he threw his arms up and ducked his head down, unable to get a grasp on his surroundings. He could feel his Persona vibrating from the strain, forcing him to focus on keeping Robin Hood with him. He slowly lifted his head out of his arms to see they were back in the Velvet Room. But, it felt different.

Ren had transformed into Joker and was chained to his cell's bars. Most importantly, he was staring up at what appeared to be Goro's exact doppelganger; Goro had enough experience to know it was a Shadow form of himself, but the carbon copy was convincing enough. He tried moving forward, but his legs were held fast by some invisible force; worst of all, there appeared to be some unseen barrier, like a glass wall, cutting him off from the other.

"Ren?" Goro tried calling out though he was sure it would fall on deaf ears. When the teen did not respond to his voice, he knew he was nothing more than an invisible witness, powerless to do anything.

Shadow Crow bore over Ren as the other was forced to his knees and pulled out his gun.

"What are you doing?" Ren rasped, looking up at the Shadow with his eyebrows drawn together.

"I never would have assumed the Leader of the Phantom Thieves would be so naive," Shadow Crow replied and twirled the gun on its finger, almost as if it was bored by this exchange. "Did you believe there was no ulterior motive of mine to follow you here?"

"I'm not naive," Ren said defiantly then clamped his mouth shut, hurt written all over his expression. "I believed you. Was trust my mistake?"

"Your first," Shadow Crow replied without hesitation, shaking its head.

"And my second?"

Shadow Crow hummed thoughtfully, feigning contemplation as it tapped the barrel of the gun to its chin, fingers drumming a beat on the cold metal. It tilted its head to the side, a smile forming on its face.

"Believing I ever cared about your insipid friends or ideals."

Ren flicked one eyebrow up and looked at the ground with a soft self-deprecating scoff. Goro tried harder to move his feet, but he could not summon enough will to break free of whatever tethered him to the spot. It was frustrating to watch this fraud interact as if it was real.

"Or you?" Shadow Crow added as an afterthought.

"It's not true!" Goro insisted, raising a hand to slam a palm against the barrier, growling angrily.

Ren's head remained hung as the words seemed to pierce a chink in his protective armor. Only his eyes moved up to stare at Shadow Crow's knees, unable to look at it directly.

"Only two mistakes?" Ren's voice said with a mirthless laugh, chains rattling as he adjusted his arms that were tied behind his back. "I've done worse."

"Your flippancy pisses me off," Shadow Crow drawled tonelessly, twirling the gun on its finger again. "I hate you, Amamiya, as you did me."

"I never did," Ren said softly but evenly, his tone and composure never faltering once. He finally picked up his hand and stared at Shadow Crow with a blazing look.

"What does it matter?" Shadow Crow said with a roll of its eyes, which were uncharacteristically brown like the real one. "All these feelings? It changes nothing. You are still my enemy in the morning."

"You are still my enemy tonight," Ren replied with the same flair of confidence as Shadow Crow, leaving no room for hesitation or doubt. "But even enemies won't always hate."

Shadow Crow inhaled deeply, tipping its head back as it rolled its shoulders. "You really don't know why I am here then?"

Ren merely stared at him, but his silence was answer enough.

"I will take your will, Amamiya. That...your desires...I want it gone...empty," Shadow Crow said as if it was merely admitting to stealing the last baked good. It pointed the gun not at Ren's head but his chest, directly over his heart. "I will break your rebellious soul...steal your mind and heart."

Ren, however, did not look surprised or offended; instead, he looked amused in a dark way. Goro watched with bated breath, jaw clenching so hard it was becoming sore. His palm was still flat against the surface of the barrier, chest tightening.

"I see now…" Ren responded, voice barely above a whisper. He gave Shadow Crow a fleeting, hollow smile, eyes becoming distant and far-away.

Shadow Crow got down on its knees and used the gun to tip Ren's head up by his chin, forcing the Trickster to face him. It smiled, so sweet it became sickening, and tilted its head to the side as if curiously studying the Leader. Without warning, Shadow Crow crashed his lips into Ren's, catching him off-guard in a fierce kiss. Goro watched in horror, blood turning to ice as Ren leaned up to deepen their kiss. But, before the heated passion could last, Shadow Crow slammed the butt of its gun into Ren's temple, sending him sprawling on his side; Ren grunted in pain, but unable to do anything with his hands chained behind his back.

Shadow Crow hummed and snapped its fingers, causing the shackles to release themselves from Joker's wrists and ankles. Ren stirred, pushing himself back up to a kneeling position, sitting back on his heels as he smeared the blood off the side of his head.

"Like I said, Amamiya," Shadow Crow said with a casual shrug of one shoulder. "I always hated you."

It sent another blow to Ren's face; the ravenette collapsed in a heap once more, but Shadow Crow stamped its foot on Ren's chest before he could get back up.

"Fight, Joker!" Goro shouted from his spot, slamming a fist repeatedly against the barrier as he strained harder than ever. "Damn it! Damn you!"

Ren just lay on the ground, allowing himself to be beaten down. Shadow Crow spared no mercy at the submissive teen groveling at its feet. Blow after blow, he still did nothing. Blood splattered his black clothes, but he never once retaliated.

"Fight back, Ren!" Goro bellowed hysterically, feeling his hands swell from the impact of his hits.

Shadow Crow looked mildly irritated from the lack of a reaction and snapped its fingers again. The shackles came to life, clamping themselves around Ren's arms behind his back once more. It picked the human up by the collar and shoved him against the wall, baring its teeth. Goro couldn't bear to watch, but he couldn't look away. Shadow Crow pulled out a long dagger and began to hack away at Ren's clothes, cutting the sleeves of his long tailcoat and waistcoat, revealing bare arms.

"Little by little, I will cut away at your disguise," Shadow Crow said and pointed the knife to his chest, pushing the tip of its blade into his waistcoat. "I will see it all."

"Will you?" Ren asked with a shadow of doubt; it sounded more like a challenge than anything.

Shadow Crow sent the blade down the length of Ren's neck-high waistcoat, starting from the throat and slicing all the way to the waistline of his cinched, black pants. The Shadow used its hands and ripped the shredded clothes apart to reveal Ren's heaving chest; the bruises were finally healing, but there was a new laceration from Shadow Crow's knife.

"I will rip off your mask," Shadow Crow said as its fingers grasped tight around Ren's white and black mask. "And reveal your true form."

"No!" Goro begged, getting on his knees...forehead resting on the barrier as he slammed his hand on the ground, not caring about the pain that followed. "Leave him be!"

Ren's screams of agony felt like someone was stabbing Goro's ears, hellbent on extracting every last ounce of anguish from his being. He put his hands to his head, trying to block out the sounds that made him claw at his hair, blood slowly seeping out of his ears and heart, staining his white clothes red.

Shadow Crow had succeeded in tearing it half off; Ren's blood painted the jagged stones, revealing the most intimate story in its portrait. His cries echoed throughout the cold chamber, but no one came to his aid. The scream sounded like it was being forcefully wrenched out from him as the Shadow finally prised off the mask, licking the blood that sprayed its face.

"Ren!"

The black-haired boy lay slumped over, eyes closed and unmoving. Goro's heart seized, making it impossible for him to draw in a breath. His world had stopped, so why hadn't everything else? Goro finally let the tears fall from his eyes as he threw his head back and roared to the sky, breaking free of the binds; he staggered to his feet and slammed a fist into the invisible barrier for the last time, watching shards of glass shower the floor around him. Shadow Crow finally looked up at the scene and smiled insidiously.

"Get back!"

Shadow Crow merely snapped its fingers, engulfing them in blackness...but this time Goro could see his doppelganger. He launched himself at the Black Mask, his Persona now buzzing like a thousand volts of electricity were shocked into his being, filling him with newfound power. Goro put his hand to his eyes.

"LOKI!"

His original Persona burst forward in a blaze of angry, red light. Goro raised a hand and concentrated everything he had into the blast of light that shattered the Shadow; the beads of black that once belonged to Goro's copy redirected themselves and went straight for the Deceiver. Goro braced himself as they speared his skin, the pain pale in comparison to his restored energy.

As he threw his hand over his head, Loki provided an explosion of light, filling the Velvet Room in a crimson glow. There, he could see—

But what was it?

Goro watched in morbid curiosity as Ren lay on the ground, propped up on his right arm. Straddling his chest from on top was someone who looked precisely like the Leader. Ren held up his dagger to this Shadow Joker's flank while the carbon copy had the same handgun Ren used held to his forehead.

"Ren!" Goro shouted again, but it elicited no response.

Whatever was happening between the two, Goro was only a bystander. It took him a long moment to realize the one sitting on top of Ren's chest was nothing more than Ren's Shadow.

"Where is it?" Shadow Joker asked, baritone voice low and ominous.

Ren merely looked up at his Shadow, looking unthreatened...just despaired.

"Where is it?" Shadow Joker repeated, gun going down to his heart.

Ren gave the Shadow a dark, twisted smile. "It's not mine."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Goro woke screaming, sitting upright in his bed, tears staining his face, sweat drenching him...leaving him shivering. He buried his face in his hands, bringing his knees up to his chest as he tried to calm his breathing. He was sure he woke someone up with his shouting, but he could not bring himself to care.

Goro reached out blindly for his phone, trying to catch the time though judging by the sunlight, he knew it was well into the morning. He looked out his window and up at the blue sky. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a shaky inhalation, wanting to put as much distance between his bedroom and himself today. He never wanted to sleep again if these were the kind of nights he had to look forward to.

Goro got out of bed rather hastily, rushing to the bathroom to clean up. While the shower did help him relax, his anxiety was still steadily worsening. He emerged from the bathroom, tossed his old clothes unceremoniously into his room and slammed the door for good measure, not wanting to glimpse his room for a while. He padded into the kitchen, thinking it would be empty due to the lack of noise.

However, he saw everyone at the counter and almost backtracked down the hall to avoid people. However, Ryuji's voice rang out, shattering whatever bubble of silence and isolation Goro had put himself in.

"He's awake! I can be loud as hell now!"

"Shut up, Ryuji!" Ann hissed, putting her head in her hands. "But I have to say..I'm impressed. Usually, you can't go forty seconds without talking at the top of your lungs."

Sumire giggled behind her hand and nodded in agreement.

"I hope the sunlight bathed you in peace this morning," Yusuke said around his cup of coffee, pencil in hand and absentmindedly sketching something. "We are pleased to see you have woken."

Goro blinked a few times before forcing himself to nod at Yusuke's words, appearing like he was acknowledging them.

"Good morning," Ren said from the counter, working on brewing coffee for everyone as he was taking orders and acting like the barista he was back in Tokyo.

"Morning," Goro grumbled, unable to bring himself to adopt a cheerful tone. He crossed the kitchen tiredly and took a seat at the kitchen counter, pulling out his phone to look busy.

"I presume you slept well," Yusuke asked mildly, looking up from his artwork to address Goro. "This may just be the latest you have ever slept."

"We didn't get back until...what...02:00 this morning?" Goro mumbled, rubbing his head, which felt uncharacteristically heavy.

"Welcome to hangover mornin'!" Ryuji said with a groan.

It was only now that Goro noticed just about everyone was wearing sunglasses except for Ren; his hangover felt pale in comparison to the adrenaline from his lingering nightmare. So, that was why he was feeling like he weighed a tonne.

"Shit," Goro muttered, now putting his head in his hand.

"Here," Ren said, his voice low and raspy, giving him a small smile as he pushed a cup of steaming coffee to him.

"How're you moving?" Goro asked in awe, taking a sip of the deliciously brewed coffee, stifling a moan that almost escaped.

"With difficulty," Ren said and Goro could still hear the slur in the teen's words. "But m'fine."

Goro chuckled despite himself, leaning forward as he braced both arms on the counter, hands wrapped tightly around the warm cup. He breathed in the rising steam, relishing in the aroma of caffeine.

"Wuzztheplan?" Ryuji asked in all one breath, looking at the group sitting around the table. "Like...what're we doin'?"

"I hardly doubt you'll be infiltrating any Havens in this condition," Morgana said from one of the seats, leaping up on the table top and flicking his tail. "Not that I want you guys like this storming the place. You'd all kill me!"

"Unlikely but not unwarranted," Yusuke said and winced. "Could you keep your voice low?"

Morgana hissed although there was little menace behind it. The feline turned on the spot and tilted his head to Ren and Goro. "What should we do, Leader?"

"We can infiltrate tomorrow," Ren decided and pinched the bridge of his nose as the whipped cream he was pouring overflowed and went all over the counter. "Dammit."

"Oh, boy," Morgana mumbled and sat on his haunches, cleaning his chest fur. "Well, then we better focus on getting the right supplies so we are at least prepared for tomorrow. We don't know what we'll run into when we go back."

"I remember seeing some spots not far from here," Sumire said, leaning forward and adjusting her shirt. "I can go."

"No, no," Morgana said and shook his head. "It's the responsibility of all the Phantom Thieves. They're going, too."

Sumire hummed in response, not disagreeing with the statement. She sat back and tied her hair back, pulling out her phone. "I'll make a list and text it to everyone at least. Maybe I can assign items if no one has any objections?"

"None here," Ann said.

"Nope," Ryuji added.

"Whatever works best," Yusuke replied.

"Excellent," Sumire said and began typing away; moments later, everyone's phone went off with a notification for the group chat. "I'll let Makoto, Haru, and Futaba know our plans."

Ren's head lifted at the mention of Futaba's name, but he didn't say anything and his face revealed nothing.

"Okay," Ann said and folded her arms over her chest. "We'll go in pairs so we don't get lost."

Sumire tapped her lips. "That makes sense. Well, I arranged that, too. Ryuji and I can go together since we're both going to get medical supplies."

She paused to take a polite sip of her tea.

"Goro and Ren were assigned to gather intel around Central Park—"

"I need to run errands," Goro said almost immediately, having no desire to spend the day with Ren after experiencing their shared dream. He wanted to avoid the conversation as long as he could...maybe even sweep it away so to speak and forget it until it would resurface with little warning. He wanted to suppress the memory of it and let it fester until it exploded—

"Then Ren and Yusuke can go," Sumire complied with a nod and pointed to Ann. "You both can go. I have Ann assigned to replenishment."

"Fine," Goro said, sounding relieved without meaning to.

"What about me?" Morgana asked, offended at being left out.

"Go with Ren," Sumire said as if the answer was obvious. "Since you know the most about the Metaverse, it only makes sense for you to go with our Leader and pick up what they overhear about this Bernard Gahr."

Once they all had their plans and the morning turned into the early afternoon, the group of Phantom Thieves headed out.

Sumire (12:09): We are going to infiltrate the Haven tomorrow. We hope to aim for 16:00, our time. Makoto (12:11): Excellent. Haru (12:11): We will be there. Ann (12:16): Don't worry about supplies. We're on it. Ryuji (12:16): wasnt given a choice Ann (12:18): Did you even leave or is your ass still on the couch? Ryuji (12:26): im up. damn. im gettin the shit n stuff w sumire. Right? Ann (12:26): Ryuji, focus, please! Sumire (12:27): He is with me although his feet are still dragging. Ryuji (12:30): god, this effin headache sucks. do we have anythin fr it? Sumire (12:31): We just purchased medicine for it. You already took some! Ryuji (12:32): well it aint workin Makoto (12:33): If you two are together, why are you texting in the group chat? Sumire (12:34): He doesn't want me talking too much. He is still suffering from a hangover. Ryuji (12:35): dude...way to thro me under the bus. you werent supposed to tell her Makoto (12:36): We WILL talk later.

Goro put his phone away and plucked some chips from the shelf, poking Ann in the shoulder. "Would they like this?"

"As long as it's food...yeah," Ann said and shook her head. "They're gluttonous."

Goro heard himself laugh lightly at that. "I suppose this only goes as far as our safe points."

"Huh?" Ann asked, turning around to face him.

"Well, it's not like we're going to sneak around while snacking. We need to find more weak spots in the distortions...places we can rest," Goro said and frowned lightly as he got lost in his thoughts. "Perhaps we should have someone with a map."

"That's actually a good idea," Ann said and grabbed him by the hand, taking him by surprise. She dragged him through the store and to the office supplies. "Notebook?"

"Yeah," Goro said, still painfully aware they were holding hands. He had never been uncomfortable with physical touch, contrary to many's belief. Being a public figure meant he had to get used to handshakes and even hugs (mostly by females). But, after watching her and Ren on the beach, it made him feel very awkward. "That works."

"Excellent," Ann said and released his hand in favor of grabbing one. "We'll have Makoto make the map; she can give it to Futaba, who can make it into transport spots."

"Pardon?"

"Oh, last summer she was able to manipulate certain points," Ann explained, bending down to page through the notebook, unable to choose between lined paper or a blank sketchbook. "We were able to kind of warp to certain spots. You'd be able to see it. It kind of looked like a blue-ish body tube or something. But, it made getting around a lot quicker."

"Interesting," Goro said, not quite able to comprehend how that would work, but curious nonetheless.

"Anyway," Ann said as she decided on the sketchbook. "Makoto has the best directions out of us all...but Yusuke's got the best art."

"They could collaborate," Goro suggested.

"You're a genius!" Ann said, grasping his arm tightly in excitement. "I'm glad we have some brains over here with us in America!"

Goro's chest tightened as he cleared his throat, lost for words. How was he supposed to respond to something like that? Was he supposed to thank her? Was it even a compliment? He settled for grunting in a very Ren-ish manner.

Ann laughed warmly and turned to face him completely, pushing her long hair over her shoulder. "I know it doesn't feel like it sometimes, but we...we really are glad to have you back."

Goro looked away, unable to hold his gaze with those sharp, blue eyes. He had to give her credit; while many believed her mind was filled with surface-level thoughts, Ann was truly a deep thinker...and observant, too. Goro knew she would make a good detective with her intuition.

"Thanks, Ann," Goro said softly.

"Especially Ren," she added, equally as soft.

Goro's head snapped up, but she was already waving him forward as she made her way to the checkout. Left to ponder that for the rest of the day, Goro sighed in defeat and trailed after her. Whatever courage he had mustered up to confront her about it vanished into thin air.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The Phantom Thieves reconvened back at the boys' townhouse, sitting around the kitchen table as they discussed their plans. Ren stood at the head of the table, naturally taking control of the conversation, writing down everyone's role and what they were going to do. He spoke with vigor and enthusiasm, which was easily matched by his teammates. But, Goro could not bring himself to get his heart into the conversation.

He sat there and wondered a million things. Did Ren remember the dream? Was it really shared? What was the meaning of Shadow Joker? Did he really believe Shadow Crow? What was going through his damn head? Goro was frustrated he could not read Ren like he could read others; in fact, peeking into the heads of others based on their behaviors and personalities made it as easy as reading an open book. Still, there was something different about Ren that made it impossible to read without prying.

Ren continued talking about one thing or another and Goro could understand why Ryuji and Ann had elected him to be their leader. He was confident, unwavering, and decisive...though most of all, he was reliable. Ren was dedicated to their work and to their beliefs. Goro definitely used to envy the way his friends seemed to desperately cling onto every word he spoke, each groveling for his attention in their own way. After spending more time with them, however, Goro realized this may not have been the case. Ren's friends respected and trusted him...something Goro was not familiar with…

Until he met Ren. The teen was the first to genuinely trust him as a person instead of a detective. It was a foreign feeling and it scared him, so Goro fought it. He fought the internal battles he waged inside his head each day. He admittedly questioned whether taking down his father was worth it, but his embittered heart left no room for anything but revenge. He may have wished he did things differently, but he did not regret what he had done. It was worth it to take down his father…

The man who first incriminated Ren and ultimately led to the creation of Joker, Crow's counterpart and the reason for his downfall.

"Goro?"

Goro jumped at being addressed and blinked owlishly at everyone, who was staring at him. He truly had no idea what was said, so he could not even fake a response. He merely looked at his phone and rose to his feet, feeling the damn sting of tears prick the corners of his eyes.

"Please excuse me. I need to take this call."

He left the group, ignoring their dropped jaws, and made his way outside. The moment he closed the door behind him and the buzz of the conversation died out, he felt like the weight on his shoulders and chest left him. He was able to breathe again.

Goro quickly made his way to the bench placed in the middle of the small community park, thankful for the darkness and the solitude. However, he should have expected it not to last. He spotted a figure jogging up to his bench, recognizing who it was immediately. Goro felt his breath hitch as hastily dried his eyes, refusing to cry in front of Ren.

Evidently, his bespectacled friend had run out after him, for his black hair was unrulier than it normal and he was slightly winded. Ren skidded to a halt and put his hands on his hips.

"You walk fast," he said, panting lightly. He exhaled a laugh through his nose and shook his head. "What's going on?"

"What?" Goro asked, deciding to play ignorant.

"Don't take me for someone stupid," Ren said with a dismissive wave of his hand, taking a step forward to stand in front of Goro. "You've been avoiding me all day. Why else did you change Sumire's plans?"

"I had errands," Goro replied stubbornly, a bit of a bite behind his words. "You heard me earlier."

"I'm insulted you think I'm that gullible," Ren replied with a bite of his own behind those words. "You always add your damn two-bits worth in on the plans."

"If I may," Goro said snarkily, eyes narrowing. "I think Yusuke and Makoto would be best as scouts seeing as they were the ones who covered the most ground last time."

Ren paused then broke out into a sarcastic grin. "So you caught on."

"You did that on purpose," Goro gasped then scowled deeply, realizing he had fallen for another one of Ren's tricks again. "Wow. What a snare."

"I won't brag," Ren quipped smugly.

"Don't you know the trapper's trap can trap the trapper?" Goro snapped and folded his arms over his chest.

Ren rolled his eyes as his smile faded; a more solemn expression replaced it. "Look at me and tell me I'm wrong...that nothing is wrong."

Goro inhaled deeply and sharply but he could not bring himself to lie in front of Ren. It was definitely one of his greatest weaknesses for it revealed the truth behind his thoughts. Ren knew how to exploit it, too.

"I'm yours," Ren said and opened his arms as if inviting Goro to spill everything.

While he wanted to, Goro had plenty of reservations and pent-up apprehension that kept him carefully guarded. "What do you remember from last night's dream?"

Ren blinked, evidently not expecting the question, but he did not outright deny to answer. He looked thoughtful for a few moments before adjusting the weight to his other leg.

"Enough," he said cryptically, causing Goro to grind his teeth in irritation.

Of course he was not going to give him a straight answer. Of course, Goro would be left to guess. Did he even know Goro was there to witness the entire thing?

"What about it?"

Goro didn't even know where to start...dissecting the meaning of that dream and laying out its card on the table for them to talk about was even harder. He looked at his hands and clenched his jaw. Did he know the immense stress he endured watching it? Did Ren even know he was the first person Goro had ever shed tears over?

"Akechi," Ren's voice said, sounding too far away despite him being a foot away.

Goro felt a thumb brush his cheek; he nearly jolted right out of his seat, but Ren was there, crouching in front of him with a sad frown that tore at Goro's heart. Then horror struck when he felt the wetness on his own cheeks. He tried pushing Ren's hands away, but the stubborn Leader refused to move away.

"Bugger off," he hissed although he could not conjure up an ounce of venom behind his words.

"You really don't get it," Ren said softly as he wiped another tear away with surprising gentleness, thumb caressing his jaw. He cupped Goro's chin with tender fingers and forced Goro to look at him. "But maybe you will someday…"

Goro felt his throat close as he lost his ability to breath without letting out a shaky sob. He buried his face in his hands, elbows on his knees, as he tried to silence the anguish ripping itself from deep within his chest. His body shook with every sob, which wracked his body in waves. He was suddenly hyper-aware of two, strong and firm arms wrapping themselves around his trembling frame; Goro could feel the closeness of Ren's chest, feel it rise and fall with each breath...hear his thrumming heart…

"I won't give up," Ren murmured, hands shaking but arms remaining its strong hold around him. "On you...on us. I'm yours."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Goro could not remember when he stopped crying, but he could remember falling asleep on the park bench with Ren, their knees brushing as they fell into their first peaceful slumber together.