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Spinning to a Standstill

Thursday—June 11, 2021

A/N: Credit goes to aetherventus258 (on AO3) for giving me the premise/idea of this chapter!

"I'm fine, thank you."

Yusuke leaned against the door lightly, eyes saddened at the sight of friend. He looked troubled as if he bore exigent weight on his shoulders alone. His outburst in the Metaverse had called for concern amongst his peers, especially since Ren appeared to have reacted unprovoked. Yusuke knew the others skirted around asking him, only trying here and there, but it merely pushed their beloved Leader away. Ren started spending time at the corner library, using their computers to create a file on Bernard Gahr...but even with all this work, he was wildly distracted, unable to answer even the simplest questions about their target.

"Ren—"

"It was nothing," Ren interrupted and held up a hand while the other twirled the pencil in his fingers to appear nonchalant...but even his pencil would fall from his grasp time to time.

"I will acquiesce in your decision, Ren, but should you feel inclined to call, my hand will always be extended," Yusuke said, knowing he was going to get nowhere with him right now and the more he pushed the more closed off the other would get.

Ren murmured something under his breath, but nodded silently, going back to looking absentmindedly at the abundance of newspaper clippings and articles about Gahr's crimes and public accessible records.

Yusuke made his way towards the exit when Ren stopped him.

"Yusuke?"

He turned around and tilted his head sideways. "Yes?"

Ren paused...it was too long. He was definitely rethinking something, for he shook his head and turned his back to him again, hunching his shoulders over the desk. "Nevermind. Sorry."

Yusuke sighed, wanting nothing more than to pry, but knowing better. The moment he exited Ren's room, he was immediately greeted by everyone else at his door, evidently waiting for him.

"What's going on?" Ann whisper-hissed.

Yusuke surveyed the crowd and did a head count, not surprised to find Goro missing from the group. He sighed, starting to fit together the once-missing pieces.

"Where is Akechi?" Yusuke asked, a bit of a hard edge to his tone.

"His room," Sumire said, sighing as she dropped her hands to her side. "He's been there all day."

"What do you think they were arguing about?" Ann asked slowly, voicing the question everyone was wondering inwardly. Her eyes darted to the door then down the hall. "They've been on and off with each other ever since he came back from his supposed hiatus."

"That's the thing," Morgana said and scratched behind his ear. "When Ren thought Goro died in Shido's Palace, he didn't handle it well...even worse when that idiot disappeared after Maruki's fake reality collapsed. Ren thought he lost Akechi for good…"

"I don't get it," Ryuji said as he rubbed his forehead as if that would stimulate some brain power. "They're always fightin'."

"It's not like you and I get along a lot," Ann deadpanned flatly and gave him a look. "But that doesn't mean I don't care about you."

"Aww, so you do care," Ryuji said in a childish voice, earning himself a hard nudge from her elbow. He helped and massaged his now-sore ribs. "Ow! Geez, lady! Do ya sharpen that thing at night?"

The rest of the Phantom Thieves found themselves all cramped in Ryuji's very messy and untidy room. Four had squashed themselves on his bed while the other two sat on the desk chair and floor respectively. Yusuke, who had taken residence on said floor, huffed disapprovingly at the state of things.

"This is sinful," Yusuke said with a shake of his head.

"Well, why didn't we go into your room?" Ryuji asked in a sarcastically slow tone, raising his eyebrows.

"My room smells strongly of paint," Yusuke stayed simply and shrugged his shoulders. "But we must adhere to the more pressing matters."

"Right," Futaba said from the video-call, yanking someone into the camera frame by the elbow. "I called in the big guns."

"Boss!" everyone chorused.

Sojiro chuckled and adjusted his glasses. "What's going on with the kid?"

"He probably needs a stern talking to!" Futaba said with a decisive nod, punching her fist with her hand. "And someone to set him straight!"

"Nonsense," Yusuke disagreed with a shake of his head. " Boss, would you mind talking to him?"

Sojiro sighed, feigning annoyance but Yusuke knew the coffee shop owner would do anything for Ren nowadays.

"We will leave you two in peace," Yusuke added, tapping away at the laptop keyboard. "Here…"

He transferred Futaba, Haru, and Makoto to Ann's laptop so he could take his own to Ren's room. Sojiro remained quiet the entire way downstairs, but finally spoke up right inside the kitchen.

"How's he been?"

"Overall, he thrives," Yusuke replied honestly but there was some hesitation and room to add more to his statement.

"Anything else?" Sojiro asked, sensing there was most definitely something else.

"He is an anxious individual, Boss," Yusuke said with a sigh and slowed his pace so he would not run the risk of being overheard. "He smokes...did you know? I can smell it on him...but he hasn't told me; he believes me ignorant to it."

"Son of a bitch…" Sojiro said albeit there was no anger in his tone…it more closely reflected sadness and disappointment.

Yusuke, too, smoked from time to time, but he had a hunch Ren did more than he let on. Furthermore, the artist knew Ren did so as a means to release, whether it was stress, nerves, anger, or anything in between.

"Let me talk to the kid," Sojiro said with a groan. "Shit...maybe America was too much all at once for him."

"It might be more than that, Boss," Yusuke said softly, his tone very insinuating.

"Oh…"

Sojiro caught on.

Yusuke hummed with a nod. He knocked on Ren's door before he helped himself in. At first, everything appeared normal—the room as bare as ever—but he stopped when he saw Ren slumped over on his desk, few glasses and bottles scattered around him, tipped on the mattress and the floor. His head was propped up on his arms that were crossed over one another, but his face was hidden.

Ren's body shook but Yusuke's sharp ears could hear the sobs. He had never seen his friend in a state like this; it, at first, scared Yusuke and for a few moments, he considered calling for backup, that being the rest of their friends to surround him. But, he was glad he didn't.

Yusuke noticed Ren had something clutched so tightly in his hand, his knuckles were white...

A black glove?

"Is privacy a foreign concept to you?" Ren slurred heavily, agitation lacing his tone. He sat up and froze when he saw Yusuke holding a laptop with Sojiro's face on the screen. He adjusted his glasses and narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

Yusuke cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice steady, but he knew for a fact he had interrupted Ren at a time he was crying...silently. Now, he wanted to know why, but he knew this was most likely the worst time to inquire (no matter how much he was tempted to).

"He wants to talk."

Ren looked away as the muscle in his jaw dropped. He relented and waved Yusuke closer, gesturing to the desk, clearing off the notebook and folders to create more space.

"Perhaps it will be best if you talk alone," Yusuke replied as he set the computer down and sat next to Ren, frowning deeply. "What are you doing?"

"Research," Ren said knowingly.

"Well...I am grateful you took the time," Yusuke said, though his heart wasn't in it. Ren seemed to have noted the lack of genuinely for his face turned sullen.

.oOo.

"I told you to stay out of trouble, kid! Sheesh!"

"Nice to talk to you, too, Boss," Ren said with a loud hiccup. "No trouble."

"Doesn't seem like it to me," Sojiro snapped. "Look at yourself. You can barely speak."

Ren watched Yusuke excuse himself with fake politeness—he knew the artist wanted to talk to him, but decided against it. Ren wondered whether Yusuke purposely called Sojiro so the man could have a go at him, too.

"C'mon, you idiot!" Sojiro growled and slammed his hand on whatever surface was nearest, glaring at him over the top of his glasses. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Nothing," Ren said defiantly though his tone lost most of its ire, still finding it hard to be disrespectful to someone he considered more of a father than his own blood.

"Don't lie to me, dammit," Sojiro barked over the video call and put his head in his hand. "I can see the damn bottles! You've been smokin', too?'

Ren looked away as the older man continued to chide him for something he knew he shouldn't be doing. His lips turned down into a sad frown...he didn't deny it, but he kept his silence.

"Don't you dare start ignoring me, too," Sojiro demanded and huffed long and loudly, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "What kind of influence are you setting around your friends? Around Futaba?"

Once again, Ren's hazed mind could only conjure up a silent response, which admittedly was no answer. He could not come up with anything to say that could justify his choices.

"I don't know what's going on with you, but your friends noticed…" Sojiro said, voice turning gentle for a fraction of a second. "They seem to think it's more than moving halfway around the world...but they know you're hiding something."

Yes...of course he was hiding something; he had done a convincing job to mask his feelings for the longest time, but it was starting to slip—crack—but he couldn't bring himself to hate himself for it...he couldn't bring himself to fix the fissures. Deep down, Ren wanted to tell him someday, but he was too scared for the big reveal.

"Amamiya!"

Ren blinked himself out of his thoughtful stupor and looked at Sojiro, who was definitely blurry at this point. He knit his eyebrows in response to his name.

"Why are you hiding?"

He let out a growl of frustration and adjusted the camera angle to remove the bottles from view. He bit his lip and closed his eyes.

"I'm not ready...for them to know…"

Sojiro was so taken aback, he forgot to look mad.

"To know what?"

Ren just fell silent, not willing to talk about it anymore. Instead, he cleared his throat and shook his head.

"It was nice to speak with you," the teen said as politely as he could. "I need to finish my work—"

"Don't you dare hang up on me, kid—"

"I'll call you later, Boss—

"Ren!"

"I'm sorry, Sojiro."

Ren closed Yusuke's laptop and closed his eyes again, trying to rid himself of this terrible migraine through the sheer force of will.

Sorry.

.oOo.

"It it as I said before," Yusuke said softly, folding his hands in front of him as he looked around the bedroom at everyone, including the three on the computer screen. "He hasn't been himself."

"He has been pretty absent…" Haru said slowly, frowning. "But I don't know for sure since I'm not really there."

"I wouldn't say that," Futaba said and drummed her fingers on the keyboard. "It's more like he's distracted than anything, but he was there when—when—"

Ryuji nodded and waved off her hesitation with a hand.

"We kinda know why you weren't there, Futaba," he said and tipped his chair back on its back two legs, balancing it. "My man's been hintin' at it for a while."

"That contracts between Persona and users can be broken?" Futaba said with dejection. She rubbed her arms, humming to herself a bit. "Yeah...I...I can't explain it but when it's time...you'll know."

"But—"

"You'll just know," Futaba intercepted without hesitation. "It's kind of hard to talk about it, so...can we not?"

"Sure, Futaba-chan," Haru said softly, putting a hand to her chest. "What else is going on?"

"It's our Leader," Ryuji said with a solemn note to his tone. He looked in the general direction of Ren's room. "I mean you saw how he totally lost his shit. Man, that's the first time I ever saw him like that! I swear!"

"Agreed," Sumire chimed in. "I've never seen my senpai act out and it was over something Akechi-senpai said."

"It's kinda always somethin' with those two," Ryuji said a bit earnestly, rubbing a hand over his mouth. "Do ya think he's bothered that we're all buddy-buddy with Goro again?"

"What?" Ann snorted as if the idea was preposterous.

"He may not be completely off," Yusuke said and dipped his head to Ryuji. "But, I do not think it is because we have accepted his white flag."

"Normally, Yusuke...speak like a normal teen," Ryuji bemoaned and threw his head back dramatically to groan at the ceiling.

Yusuke couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Perhaps he struggles to accept not our feelings but his own."

"What do you mean?" Makoto asked, narrowing her eyes. She seemed to be listening intently before speaking as this was her first time in a long while.

"It's as I said before," Yusuke said though that comment was aimed towards Ryuji in case he forgot they had this conversation prior. "Everything about Goro and Ren correlates...right down to the most minute detail."

"Oh yeah," Ryuji said as the metaphorical lightbulb went off in his head. He turned to Ann. "They're always in a mood...arguin' like they can't stand each other."

"Clearly they don't see eye to eye on a lot of things," Ann said with a shrug of her shoulder and turned to Haru, Makoto, and Futaba. "Were they like this before Goro's hiatus? Can you remember?"

"Why ask them?" Morgana snorted as he rolled those blue orbs with impatience. "Who spent the most time with him? Me!"

Ann shot him an apologetic look.

"It's all right, Lady Ann," Morgana said, loosening his tense stance immediately as the fur along his spine flattened. "But Ren's probably the one who spent the most time with Goro out of all of us?"

"Yeah," Ryuji said, lifting his pitch to prompt the cat to continue.

"Well, I have to say, Goro is probably the one Ren spent the most time with, too," Morgana said a bit guiltily, looking at everyone with a nonjudgmental stare. "Especially during Maruki's takeover...it was just him, Sumire over there, and Goro."

Sumire turned a bit red at being mentioned and having all eyes staring at her now.

"While we were all busy living out our paradises," Morgana finished, finally saying what no one wanted to hear but secretly knew.

"Think about it," Morgana said and turned to each one in turn. "Yusuke, you had Madarame, Lady Ann had her friend...Ryuji had his track team, Futaba had her mother...Haru and Makoto with your fathers...I was human...more independent and free to do what I wanted without the restrictions as a cat…"

The group looked down, hanging their heads.

"Noticed how Ren's paradise wasn't anything extravagant...it just...it just had Akechi in it?" Morgana concluded, letting the group put the pieces together. "And they just happened to cross paths again after Shido's change of heart? Ren just wanted Akechi...just the way he was, nothing different."

Sumire's hands twisted in her lap. "The way he and Akechi-senpai were together...storming Palaces together. They looked unstoppable. I admit I was jealous…and I felt left out."

"Oh, shit," Ryuji said as he came to an understanding. "Goro was there when we weren't…"

"But s'not your fault," came a sluggish voice.

Everyone jumped and turned to see their Leader standing in the doorway of the kitchen, leaning against it with his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He gave them all a tug of one corner of his mouth. He didn't really wait for a response and showed no interest in talking to anyone else. Yusuke guessed he must have overheard. Ren turned his head to the side and pressed his chin into his shoulder with a sharp inhalation.

"Ren…" Haru said tearfully, sniffling as her eyes watered dangerously. She tried to wipe them dry, but to no avail. She was always quite the emotional sponge. "Hi…"

Ren's eyes, too, were unnaturally red and slightly swollen as if he had been dealing with his own troubles in his room alone. His voice quivered as he tried pushing himself upwards, looking unsteady, uncoordinated, and very unlike Joker.

"You're not wrong," was the only thing he said.

They all watched Ren reach out and pocket something before he grabbed his keys; the group fell silent as Ren stumbled to the door, having to use the wall a few times to balance. Ryuji actually scooted his chair back, ready to get up and help, but Ren held up a hand to stop him and the blonde obeyed obediently.

The moment the door closed, Haru dissolved into tears. "I wish I was there!"

"Me, too," Makoto said sadly.

"So…" Morgana said and began his pacing, leaping up on the bed and traversing over everyone's laps until he settled neatly on Sumire's knee, looking at her with sharp eyes. "That conversation...it probably had something to do with the two of them."

"Like what?" Ryuji asked, frowning.

"Goro-senpai said something like 'hate' before Ren called him a liar," Sumire said, filling in the blanks they were missing. "Do you really think they were talking about…"

"Each other?" Futaba asked, eyes widening. "Ohmygosh."

"Or something between them?" Ann asked, turning to Yusuke with her head tilted to the side, fingers running through that stunningly beautiful hair that Yusuke found so mesmerizing. "What do you think?"

"Some unspoken thing between them."

.oOo.

Ren actively avoided going home, wanting no part in his friends' conversation, especially since they were talking about him and his unruly outburst. He was even more annoyed at himself for letting himself lose control in such a manner. It was embarrassing but it only put him under their watchful radar. It was going to be a while before they would stop worrying about him. He never worried about where he was going to go if he didn't go home for it was no different than when he was back in his hometown with his parents, avoiding returning home to avoid his family.

Ren (11:16): Where are you? Goro (11:18): 103 N34th.

Ren was mildly surprised Goro had answered him, but even as angry at each other as they were, it was impossible for them to ignore one another. Ren put the address in his navigation app, which did not lead him too far, which was good. Every footstep felt slow as if he had weights on each ankle. He definitely felt a little vulnerable walking down unfamiliar streets while intoxicated, but he did it to himself, so he could handle any consequences.

The navigation took him to a small bar, one that strongly reminded him of where he first met the journalist, Ohya-san, in Tokyo. Music was loud, but not blaring or deafening. There were only two other seats other than the bar, and the bartender looked much older than he would have guessed given the atmosphere of the place. Ren entered the bar and looked around until his eyes landed on the only other one sitting at one of the tables.

"Hey," the owner said and pointed to Ren, tilting his chin up at him. "We're closing at 06:00 for the record."

"We'll be long away," Ren said, trying to muster the perfect English to avoid being labelled as a foreigner.

He dipped his head respectfully before realizing that it may not be a normal custom in America and resorted to lifting his hand instead. The bartender just gave him a hint of a smile before waving him off and returning to his mixing. Ren crossed the bar to Goro, who did not look up at him once, and took the seat across from the one occupied in the corner of the bar.

"I'm surprised you replied," Ren said and took Goro's drink from the table.

"Don't you dare," Goro said, head snapping up to make a grab for his drink.

However, Ren finished it in one go, placing it back on the table as he tried to ignore the burning in his throat and nose.

"Why, Amamiya?"

"Now you have to let me buy you a drink," Ren replied smoothly and twisted in his seat, catching a quick glimpse of Goro's fleeting smile. He turned to the bartender. "Would you mind a refill?"

The bartender lifted both eyebrows then snorted with a nod. "I trust you to be of age."

Ren gave him another smile and pulled out the fake identification Futaba had made for him. He guessed she made one for everyone. "Here…"

"It's fine, kid," the bartender said and sighed, walking over to the two boys and placing two glasses on the table. "On the house tonight since you're new…"

Ren shook his head and put a few bills on the table. "We can pay."

The bartender grunted but did not press; he accepted the bills and gave them the tiniest of smiles.

"Who're you?"

"Amamiya Ren."

"Akechi Goro."

"Zyphyr...you foreigners?" the bartender asked, lifting an eyebrow at the two teens.

"That obvious, hm?" Goro asked, although still remaining polite.

"Unfortunately," Zyphyr said but let out a soft chuckle. "Where you from?"

"Japan," Ren replied, feeling like there was no harm in telling the bartender at least that.

"Fancy that," Zyphyr said and hummed, scratching his chin. "Well, enjoy your drinks. I got a few rules, too. Don't cause problems. Don't touch shit behind the bar. Y'all can light up in here but I ask you to put it out if there's anyone else coming in. I'm gonna smoke in the back but just holler if you need me...try not to need me."

Ren couldn't help but smile a little at that comment and nodded; the kind bartender departed, leaving the two alone once more. Goro's frontward appearance of pleasantry disappeared as his face fell back into the lines of trouble.

"You can't ignore me forever," Ren said as he pulled out his pack of cigarettes, taking out one before sliding it across the table to Goro. The familiar motion of lighting the end came a bit easier now. "So why try?"

Goro leaned forward with his and bummed off Ren's end, scowling around the cigarette. "I'm not."

"Before you couldn't wait to spend time with me," Ren said mostly to himself, exhaling sharply as the smoke poured from his lips, spilling the truth in the haze. "Now it's like you can't stand to be around me. What have I done wrong?"

Goro flinched as if someone had struck him across the face. All he could do was stare with his hand ghosting over his jaw.

"Why...why would you think that?"

Ren just stared at the table with a look of unhappiness.

Goro sighed and took a deep drag, holding in the smoke as he chose his response carefully. "I'm not avoiding you. I'm...trying to avoid myself."

Ren looked up.

"And my thoughts...my feelings," Goro murmured, voice barely audible over the music as he flicked the ashes off the end. He sniffled and lifted an eyebrow. "Have you been crying?"

Ren just took a drink to that question, but his heart began racing as the blood pounded in his ears. What could he mean? What feelings was he talking about? Were those good or bad thoughts?

"And?" Ren pressed with urgency.

"You're making it admittedly difficult," Goro said with a definite note of ire to his words, gritting his teeth as he leaned forward, bracing both elbows on the table. "No matter how hard I try, you always find a way."

Ren matched his actions with a blazing look. "Count on it."

Goro couldn't resist the smirk now resting itself on his face. "So, is this why they nominated you their leader?"

Ren's nostrils flared at the question and he rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat and folding his arms over his chest. Of course Goro was trying to turn the conversation back on him, but Ren had sat in enough interrogation rooms to recognize the tactic. Goro took his silence however he did and narrowed his eyes.

"So, tell me this, Leader," the brunette said challengingly, clearing his throat and pausing to take a drag. "Do you like you better with or without me? Be honest."

Ren merely flicked an eyebrow up, face giving away nothing else. He would never allow Goro the satisfaction of an answer, but he was almost afraid his impassive expression would give away his heart's deepest secret desire. After all, how many times has Ren indirectly said it?

"I will never understand you, Amamiya," Goro said and rose to his feet, finishing his drink and slamming the glass on the table.

Ren stood up and, once again, mirrored his actions. He set the glass down farther across so that their arms were crossing.

"Ace detective."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

It seemed as if their past argument had been put behind them, but Goro could not forget the exchange of words. It had hurt more than he would have liked to admit...granted he had provoked the black-haired teen on purpose, but he would have never expected such a reaction.

Goro knew he had said something unforgivable, but he felt like he had little control over his tongue as of late. Things have been slipping out of his mouth that he would normally keep inside, but he always seemed to put a foot in his mouth when around Ren. He may have gone too far and he would definitely need to fix it, but he couldn't bring himself to face the collateral damage he had done and left behind.

~FLASHBACK~

"A moment...please?" Ren asked, stepping in front of Goro and effectively blocking his path. He put his hands in his pockets, looking more ready to talk than Goro had ever seen him. "It won't take long."

"It can wait," Crow had replied with a dismissive wave of his hand, wanting to hold off on the subject for as long as he could.

"Crow—"

"What happened last night...I—that doesn't happen," he insisted, knowing he wanted to pry. Goro just couldn't bring himself to tell Ren that he took those words a little too close to heart…

"But it's still okay that it did," Ren insisted, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It was the vision from Lavenza, right?"

Goro froze, his heart strumming painfully against his ribs as he could feel his heartbeat inside his ears, inside his head, and behind his eyes.

"I know...she showed us our fears because you had to provoke her," Ren said and shook his head, eyeing him carefully. "You wanted to know what I saw, right? I didn't want to tell you at first, but now I'm thinking about how much I want to tell you."

"Well…?"

"But it's only fair to return the favor," Ren said firmly.

Goro had a few options now laid out on the table in front of him. His first was to tell the truth...that he already saw Ren's greatest fear play out and his own greatest fear was his past self with Ren in general. His second option was to lie about his greatest fear with a convincing tale and come up with some noble reason. His third option was to ignore the subject entirely.

"I didn't see anything."

"Bullshit."

Ren rarely swore, but he did just then.

~END~

"You're...inc...i-incorag…" Goro's addled mind worked hard to find the word that he was struggling to get out. "Hell...what is it?"

"Incorrigible," Ren slurred and laughed behind his hand, leaning a bit heavily into Goro as they stumbled down the street, several more glasses of alcohol rampaging through their system.

Goro couldn't hate their current proximity.

"Why do we do this?" Ren asked and looked at him blearily. "We act like ourselves in the dark, but go back to strangers in the morning?"

Goro grabbed Ren's hand boldly. "We're sloshed and you'll forget this in the morning."

Wrong thing to say.

~FLASHBACK~

"Why can't you ever talk to me?" Ren challenged, pressing himself closer to Goro as if daring him to do something.

"Not now," Goro hissed angrily, hating the way flames heated up his face, effectively turning it red.

"Why not?" Ren snapped, voice rising in volume.

Goro knew Ren only got louder when he would get flustered; such occurrences were so rare, it was easy to forget the other teen was capable of losing his temper in a very similar manner as his own.

"Nothing changed at all…" he said scathingly, hoping to leave some sort of wound with his sharp tongue. Otherwise, he really would not be able to shake the boy off his trail. He earned himself a scoff, so Goro continued. "You and everyone else still hate me—"

Whatever he had said, Goro knew those were the magic words. Ren fired up at once and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. Taken by surprise, all he could do was go with the blows. Ren had shoved him hard against the trunk of a tree, temporarily dazing him as he hit the back of his head and spine. Goro had the wind knocked out of him, leaving him gasping a bit for air.

"Liar!"

~END~

"Liar."

Ren shoved Goro against the wall, face inches from his, eyebrows drawn down in fury, but there was something else lingering in his gaze. His breathing turned labored, shallow and quick, but Goro could not ignore the thrill that hit him in the head. He welcomed the dizziness—they were inches apart, liquor breaths mingling, both embolded by their liquid courage.

This was the second time Goro found himself pinned underneath Ren's grasp, but there was something different about this time; he shivered at the passion and hunger in the teen's gaze as he bared his teeth, his body trembling as much as Goro was shaking.

"Baby, you make me crazy," Ren slurred but it came out as a growl. His fingers tightened their iron-grasp around his wrists.

Goro threw his head back and exposed his neck, more breathless than when he was slammed against the tree, shaking as if the temperature dropped to freezing. Goosebumps popped up over his skin. He was in too deep.

But, as soon as Ren's body had pressed itself against his own, it disappeared. Goro immediately mourned the loss of Ren's warmth, and both knew it was the alcohol, but Goro was almost convinced he enjoyed it...perhaps more than he would care to admit. No...he could not let himself the luxury of hopeful wishing. He and Ren knew it meant nothing.

He looked at the other; Ren had pushed himself away from him as if forcing himself to. The ravenette, with shuddering hands, pulled out another cigarette, desperately working to light it up. He pulled his sleeves back down and threw the pack to Goro as if inviting him to join him. Goro happily lit one for himself, glad to give his fingers something to do and his mind to focus on. Judging on the Wild Card's expression, he felt regret...

Still, Goro would feed himself off the crumbs of affection for it truly was better than nothing. Ren was nothing short of a drug that he craved more with each hit...each use...

The walk back to their townhouse seemed much shorter with company than when Goro walked away from it alone.