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Reopened Wounds

Saturday—June 20, 2021

Ren knew he was going to dread the morning but the boorish light of the sun pierced his head like a dagger between the eyes. He took a moment to collect his scrambled thoughts as he pieces together the events of the night prior. He screwed his eyes shut and shuffled through last night's events when he felt something stir beside him. Ren froze as his fingers curled themselves within the fabric of gray sheets—bed sheets that were most definitely not his.

The door opened slowly and Ren did his best to fling himself out of said bed, only to find Goro and Sumire standing at the frame, mildly surprised and slightly taken aback. Ann mumbled something from under her mound of blankets and popped her head up, evidently not seeing the issue with Ren in her bed.

"What's up?"

"W-what do you want for breakfast?" Sumire managed to choke out as Ren grabbed his blazer, tightening the knot of his tie as it had come loose. "Er….are you hungry?"

"Yes," Ann groaned.

However, he was more preoccupied with trying to catch Goro's attention, but the latter simply stared at the floor, muscle jumping in his jaw.

"What did they say?" Ryuji asked as he came bounding over.

Ren's face burned as his oldest friend stopped short at the sight and let his jaw drop. He climbed out from under her sheets and pulled off his gloves, biting his lip.

"So….we'll just….make breakfast," Ryuji said slowly and backed away, Goro and Sumire following close behind.

Ann sat up and pulled her hair out of her tie, frowning at his expression. She reached out and nudged his knee with her foot, eyebrows knitting.

"We just talked," Ren murmured mostly to himself, willing himself to remember.

~FLASHBACK~

Ren followed Ann into her bedroom, finding it to be as packed full with clothes as he predicted. It was strange to be in a space that solely represented her and he had never spent any time in a female's room. He rubbed the back of his neck and shuffled awkwardly, trying not to touch anything or look in one spot for too long.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?" Ren asked, leaning with his back against the door.

"It's what I saw on the news, Ren," Ann said softly, taking him by surprise. It was not what he had expected. "I wanted to talk to you first before the others heard."

"Heard what?"

"Gahr," Ann said, wringing her hands. She shook her head and sunk into her bed, drawing up the covers. "He….he went missing."

Ren's heart stopped as he pulled out his phone, hoping to find any news on the former criminal. "Missing to hide from the police or—"

"They think some of his men got a hold of him," Ann corrected and reached out to put a hand on his arm, guiding him to the foot of her bed. "I think he had a change of heart and was about to confess….that's why his men took him—to keep him quiet."

Ren let out a bit of a strangled grunt as he tried finding an article on the subject. However, Ann's fingers wrapped themselves around his wrist and tightened their grasp.

"It's guesswork—I overheard a couple talking about it at the bar tonight," Ann explained, hand releasing his arm to rub his knee comfortingly. "We don't know for sure, but it just….fit. It explains why we haven't heard a confession from him."

"I—I….it was…."

Ren trailed off as he let his phone screen turn black from inactivity. Ann sat with him for the entirety, head resting on his shoulder as her arms were wrapped tightly around his waist. The weight of this responsibility felt like it had just bent his spine a little too far. His breath hitched but he refused to express concern until there was more certainty behind the story. Ren would readily admit being at fault, but was he ready to admit it to himself—that he was responsible for inflicting harm upon someone?

"Ren," Ann said, her voice sharper than before.

He turned to look at her with his eyebrows drawing together. She threaded her fingers with his and looked at him with those blue eyes.

"There's no point in losing sleep over it tonight. You need to sleep off the alcohol."

"I've sobered up now after that," Ren said with a hint of curtess to his tone, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You most certainly have not," Ann said sternly but not unkindly.

Ren allowed himself to be pushed on his back and lifted his arm so she could rest beside him, head on his chest and a hand on his stomach. The two stared at the ceiling in silence for a few long moments before Ann spoke up once more.

"You smell like smoke."

"Sorry."

Ann snorted and tilted her chin up to look at him. "No you aren't."

Ren just kept quiet, knowing there was no winning this argument.

"Do you like me?"

"Sure."

Ann clicked her tongue and shook her head. "That's not what I meant."

Ren placed his free arm underneath his head for support, untucked shirt riding up. Ann's fingers went to trace the grooves of his hip bones and lines of his abdominal muscles.

"What do you mean?" Ren slurred, though he wore a grin.

Ann jabbed her knee into the side of his leg when she saw that and frowned. "You know what I mean."

Ren chuckled, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. It was a question she had asked him before with an answer that had never changed. He thought about it for a moment and while it was nice to have someone as talented and special as Ann in his arms, he harbored no feelings towards her of the romantic kind. No, his mind flashed to one person in particular.

"I already know who you fancy," Ren answered slickly and opened his eyes to stare out the window. "You should just talk to him."

"Irrelevant," Ann shot back and began tracing swirls on his skin, nails digging into his skin softly. "I asked about you. Do you like me?"

Ren bit his lip. He admittedly thought about what he and Ann would be like as a couple, but the idea never settled right. He saw her as a brilliant individual with a passionate heart, but he truly never imagined himself liking her. Furthermore, she was an attractive individual, but he had never pictured himself with her in that manner.

"You're cute," Ren supplied the best he could.

"Am I just not your type?" she inquired.

He never really had a type—he never had much interactions with others to ever consider having a type. Sure, he had preferences, but he was more of a case-by-case-basis kind of person than someone who could set preferences and make decisions based on them. Presently, he still had no preferences—unless he counted….

"Do you think I'm just not his type?" Ann asked bluntly, looking at him with that blazing expression—not begging for an answer she wanted to hear, but just fierce questioning.

"You need to talk to him," Ren said a bit flatly, hand mindlessly running up and down her side. "When he's sober of course."

She grunted in frustration and rested her leg on his; Ren shifted as the warmth spread from his head down. But, before he could say anything, he could hear the softest snoring. He rolled his eyes and did his best to get some sleep when he was this uncomfortable.

~END~

Ren's hand ghosted over the waistline of his pants as he could feel the echo of her touch.

"What is it, Ren?" Ann said from her bed.

"We just talked," he repeated.

"Yeah," she said, confused at the urgency in his tone. Finally, her eyes widened as she looked at herself, the bed, him, and then the door. "Oh!"

"Yeah," Ren muttered as he rubbed the corners of his eyes wearily. "They think we—"

"Slept together! Oh, no!" Ann gasped as it finally dawned on her. "I'm still—"

"Aren't we all?" Ren grunted and dragged a hand down his face. "This we may need to fix."

"Right, right..." Ann sighed and gestured awkwardly to herself. "I-I need to get ready…."

Not wanting to spend another minute in this room, Ren gladly departed in search of his friends, who were in varying stages of consciousness. Yusuke was finally getting up while Ryuji was bouncing around the kitchen, grabbing as much food as he could. Goro was doing his best to brew coffee, but the struggle was apparent in his troubled expression.

Ren rubbed his nose as he cleared his throat, going for the extra cup of coffee. He took a sip and though it tasted horrible, he finished it without complaint but Ryuji practically spat his coffee out.

"That bad?" Goro asked with his eyes wide.

"Dude, I dunno what you did, but it tastes like watered down coffee beans," he muttered and brightened when he saw Ren slide behind the counter to remake the coffee. "Thank God."

Goro sighed and stepped out of the way to let Ren through.

"You are being insufferably dramatic," the detective said coolly and waved a hand dismissively at the blonde.

"Can we talk first?" Ren asked no one in particular, drumming his hands on the kitchen counter. "Just to clarify, Ann and I are not together. We didn't—no."

"Hey, man, I wasn't thinkin' that," Ryuji said as his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I kinda assumed you were too drunk to do anything."

"Can't argue there."

Yusuke shrugged his shoulders. "I was not even aware of your whereabouts. Therefore, whatever is said is going over my head."

One last response.

"I forgot something," Goro said and tried making his great escape, but Ren rolled his eyes and grabbed him by the arm before he could retreat. It was no surprise the Detective was trying to run away. But, he scowled and looked down at Ren's hand in aggravation. "Can I help you?"

"Sure," Ren deadpanned then dragged him from the kitchen, through the living room, and right out to the hallway. He ignored the looks his friends gave him, eyes locked onto the brunette in his grasp. "Can you listen for once?"

Goro grunted as he was shoved against the wall. "I am."

Ren let out an exasperated tone as he lowered his volume to avoid being overheard. "I don't believe you and you clearly don't believe me."

"How can I?" Goro hissed softly. "When I see you two, can you blame me?"

"When will you see?" Ren asked, voice trembling with suppressed pain and frustration. He released a long exhalation and rubbed his forehead.

Something flickered in Goro's eyes, but Ren was more convinced he imagined it through sheer force of desire. He looked away as he released his hold and took a few steps back.

"I didn't," he said with finality, leaving it there. "I don't want to….not with her at least."

He left the other to ponder his last statement while he went back inside to make coffee for the others, lost in his thoughts and was glad brewing coffee felt like second nature to him. It had been around four minutes since Ren had left him standing out there, but Goro returned, wearing an unreadable expression. Ryuji did his best to pretend he did not notice the tension between them and continued raving about Ren's coffee.

"Amamiya."

Ren looked up in an instant.

Goro came around the counter and put a hand on his shoulder, a look of determination shining on his features. "Teach me how to make coffee."

Ryuji just sat there with his mouth open before he burst out laughing, howling as he doubled over. Through his wheezing, he pointed at the two and shook his head, tears streaming down his face.

"What?" Goro asked defiantly.

"You guys are so confusing," Ryuji said and pounded his fist against the counter, finally able to sober up a bit. "I can't figure it out, but wow."

"You're telling me," Ren scoffed and threw the brunette a look over his shoulder.

But just like that, the tension dissipated as quickly as it came. Ren had cooked everyone breakfast and set the table for his friends before he grabbed his blazer and keys.

"Where are ya going?" Ryuji said after swallowing a mouthful of food.

"To check on Morgana."

"I'll go, too!"

Ren stopped as Sophia raised her hand; she skipped around the table and rushed over to his side with enthusiasm that reminded him strongly of a child's. He shrugged his shoulders and led her out, relishing in the warmth the sun brought, but hating how bright the light was. He shielded his eyes but it did little to alleviate his pounding headache.

"Yo," Sophia said and stiffly waved her hand as if not sure it was the appropriate way to greet another. "Where are we going?"

"The townhouse you were in earlier," Ren replied and gestured down the block. "It's not far."

Sophia hummed thoughtfully for a moment before she began to skip in order to keep up with him. "Is last night what you call 'hanging out'?"

"Yeah, but it's not the only way."

She looked pensive for a moment, but only just. "Do you dance with everyone?"

"No, Sophia," Ren said in fond exasperation, memories of the dancefloor came flooding back. He and Yusuke, he and Ann….

Sophia blinked at him and pointed to herself.

"And you and I—we were just dancing," Ren picked up, choosing his words carefully. "I was—"

"I know," Sophia said cheerfully, giving him a smile that reached her eyes. "Sumire told me you 'were drunk'."

She finished the last word as if directly quoting the other redhead.

"Yeah," he said slowly, trailing off.

"She also told me about you and Ake—"

"Let's not talk about it."

Ren felt bad for cutting her off, but it was not a conversation he wanted to have right now. He wanted to get back home, change, and talk to Goro, himself.

"You're very private."

He almost stopped in his tracks at the sudden change of tone in her voice—it was far from the innocent, happy high-pitched squeaks she usually emitted.

"What makes you say that?" Ren asked, his own voice lowering in pitch.

"Oi, Amamiya, slow down!"

The black-haired teen stopped in his tracks this time and turned around at the sound of the familiar (and demanding) voice. He watched Goro run up to him, hair messy, and clothes unruly. He looked like he had been jogging for a few blocks.

"I—hate—running—unnecessarily!"

Ren couldn't help the smile that broke out on his face. He clicked his tongue and pulled a hand out of his pocket to steady Goro as he doubled over on his knees.

"Why did you?"

"I was—trying—to catch—up to—you," he grunted and straightened up and did his best to tame his hair.

"Not bad for someone who drank their weight in booze last night," Ren teased, feeling much more lighthearted than he was a few minutes ago.

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?" Goro sneered.

"You wish."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Goro snapped himself awake though the sound of rattling chains did not help matters. From the moment he opened his eyes, he recognized the jail cell he had grown so accustomed to seeing. He rose to his feet, glad to find the cell door was already opened for him. However, something felt….different. He slowly padded out as the hair on his neck stood on end, tensing as he tried peering through the darkness. He could hear movements through the blackness but as soon as he stepped out, the Velvet Room lit up as if all the lights flicked on at once. He had to shield his eyes until they got used to the sudden brightness.

"Joker?"

The name resonated throughout, but the customary answer never came. Now on guard, he willed his black mask to return. Ready to summon his Persona, he braced for an attack, but there was no sign of any Shadows in the surrounding area. It took a few moments, but Goro realized he was staring at a very familiar interrogation room, one that he had long buried away from his memories—one that turned his blood to ice.

"Joker!"

Now, he sounded more urgent as he tried looking around for his friend; however, moving forward, he hit a transparent barrier, one that he never remembered being there. Goro spat angrily and tried moving around it, only to find himself in an invisible box. Frustration hit hard as he tried finding a way out, but he was stuck where he was. To make matters worse, he could see Ren, whose head was bowed and his hands cuffed behind his back. Goro recognized the old Shujin blazer, something he had not seen Ren wear in the Velvet Room before.

"Wake him up."

A man in a suit came forth with a bucket, but the Trickster did not seem to react. If anything, it looked like he was asleep….or worse. Goro pressed himself up against the barrier as if it would provide him with a better view. Said man grabbed the bucket with both hands and threw its contents at the slumped figure, effectively waking him from unconsciousness. Ren jolted with a gasp, shaking the water from his face and hair, which now dripped the beads into his eyes as he lifted his head a fraction of an inch.

"Guess the drugs were too strong."

Ren's figure remained as still as ever—like he was still coming to.

"No dozing off!"

Goro watched in horror as Ren blinked up at the man towering over him—finally registering what was happening. He looked around before he must have realized he was cuffed and started tugging and straining against them. Ren's head swiveled this way and that as he tried to see what was holding him.

"You still don't get it, do ya?"

Ren's head slowly lifted to glower at the rat.

"Give it up!"

The man unexpectedly kicked him square in the chest, causing the chair and the boy to topple over to the ground. The teen gagged and coughed, winded from the blow to his sternum.

"Come on, cooperate. Or what, you want another shot?"

Goro sucked in a breath as his lungs screamed for air; he never knew he was holding it until he was forced to draw one in.

Ren's eyes opened slowly and looked around, travelling up until they stopped at the corner.

"What about the camera?" the man snorted caustically. "Are you thinking it can be used as video evidence? So, you're not that stupid. I'll tell you now, don't think that you'll get out so easily."

Goro watched Ren stir weakly, letting his eyes drop back to the ground. The puddle of water beside him travelled slowly, soaking his shoes, pants, and the four used needles that lay around him.

"Obstruction of Justice, blackmail, defamation, possession of weapons….we can add murder, too, right? Talk about the works."

Ren had remained silent though Goro was not sure he could even respond in his current state.

"To think that all those crimes were led by a punk like this. And you seemed to be enjoying every second of it. You should know your place…."

The man sent another kick to his torso before stamping a boot on Ren's face, ignoring the pained gasps and wet coughs coming from his victim. He curled his lip back at the boy and bared his teeth.

"We'll make you understand. One must take full responsibility for their actions. What's your name?"

Ren spit out a mixture of saliva and blood, falling limp when the man seized him by the collar of his shirt and forced him into a sitting position. When he did not answer, the man's voice grew harder.

"Your name, you little shit!"

Ren's eyes closed as he bowed his head, evidently having lost the strength to fight back physically.

"If you don't spill it, your friends will suffer instead."

That seemed to rouse the black-haired teen. He raised his head, eyes flying open as he let out a strangled noise of protest.

The man grasped a handful of Ren's hair and forced his head up the rest of the way, sneering in a mocking manner. "'He's bluffing! They only caught me!' That's what you wanna say, right? That's fine. You can believe it or not."

For the first time since he regained consciousness, he finally spoke, voice low and hoarse and his lips barely moved. "Amamiya...Ren."

The man relinquished his hold and let the boy fall back. "Sign your confession. Don't make me repeat myself."

He nodded to his accomplice, who strode over to Ren and bent over him. Goro had to strain awkwardly to see what was happening over his shoulder, but all the second man did was unlock the handcuffs. Ren's hands immediately flew to his bruised and battered wrists, gripping them hard. It was the same movement Goro had seen him do in the real world….

"Sign here."

Ren stared hard at the man and shoved the clipboard out from under his nose, gritting his teeth. Goro could see the tiny flare of fight flicker.

"I need your hand to sign this," the interrogator said coolly and emotionlessly, walking over to him slowly. "But, I don't care if you end up losing a leg."

A foot came down on Ren's knee, causing him to cry out in pain as he grabbed it. His face paled as he met the man's blazing gaze, breathing turning ragged. The man got down on one knee and returned to eye-level, inches away from the boy's bruised and bloodied face.

"Don't expect to walk out of here in one piece."

Goro's mouth had long gone dry, making it hard for him to use his voice. However, before he could utter a single word, there was another and this time, it was clear as day.

"Don't watch, Crow."

Goro's eyes widened as the Ren in the interrogation room addressed him, which meant he could see him. It was as if the memory had broken and past was becoming present.

"Joker?" Goro called out again, praying his voice would reach his ears.

"Don't…." Ren whispered.

Everything came to a standstill except the beaten teen. But, from above, Goro could hear his own sinister voice.

"Let me be the one to save Ren."

Goro watched in mingled horror and shame as the scene began to unfold once more. His memory-self entered the interrogation room shortly after and seized the gun from the guard.

"What're you—"

The first shot rang out, muffled by the gun's silencer.

"I owe you for all of this….thanks. That's right. You and your little friends were vital to our plan. And now, it will be completed."

Ren stared at him from the chair, his breathing growing shallower.

"Your popularity truly was quite stunning. That just made using you all the more worthwhile…."

The smoke still billowed from the barrel of his gun, blood seeping from the guard's mouth and nose. Goro adjusted the weapon and turned his attention back to Ren.

"Have you finally pieced it all together?"

Up until then, Goro had been watching, but he blinked once and that was all it took to change. He now stood with the gun in his left hand, pressed against Ren's forehead as those gray eyes looked at him without a flicker of fear. Goro could feel his mouth moving and the words coming from his own voice, but it was out of his control.

"Case closed...this is how your 'justice' ends."

Goro's finger began applying pressure on the trigger, but this time against his will—powerless to fight back. He could see Ren's eyes widen and quiver as the trigger clicked. Blood soaked his hair and face, running down the sides of it and staining his already-ruined attire crimson. His hands were now the same color as the gloves he wore as Joker.

Goro watched as a silent scream ripped from the back of his throat; Ren's head landed on the table with a thud, splattering the blood on its surface in a hauntingly beautiful way.

And then Goro's vision turned black.

"I asked you not to watch…."

Goro's eyes flew open and the first thing he saw was Ren as Joker, sitting in the same jail cell as him. The brunette gasped as he sat up shakily. Was this the real Ren? He did not dare reach out in case it was all another illusion, but red gloved hands came out and rested themselves on his knees. Goro flinched as Ren got down on his knees, doing his best to maneuver around the chains that bound him to the wall.

"J-Joker—"

"Yeah," Ren said with a nod, tongue darting out to swipe over his lips. "Relax. It was just a memory."

"Why?" Goro moaned as he tried to keep his head up despite its heavy feeling. "Why do they keep making me relive it all?"

"I don't know."

It was not the answer he was hoping for, yet it was still the most logical and believable one. Goro screwed his eyes shut and buried his face in his hand.

"What have I done….what have I done to you?"

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Goro woke for a second time, but with tears wetting his cheeks. He searched desperately for his counterpart, only to find his bed empty and his room dark, the night sky providing no light. Goro let out a strangled sob, curling in on himself. No one could tell him why all these wounding memories kept resurfacing, but it felt like a bit of his heart was taken with each visit to the Velvet Room. He dreaded that place for all the suffering it caused him—for all the wounds it reopened even though they never healed.

Goro needed to see him. He kicked off the covers, went straight for Ren's bedroom, not bothering with the formality of knocking, and barged right in. Ren sat up in his bed, letting the covers pool in his lap. He did not seem entirely surprised to see him there, but he wasn't unwelcoming.

"Goro—"

Goro crossed the room in two hasty strides and threw his arms around the other before he could say anything else; he clung onto him like a lifeline. He felt warm arms envelope him in return, fingers intertwining with his own.

Little by little, Goro could feel his heart start to repair its broken self.

He held on for what felt like years, face pressed against his shoulder and nose inhaling his familiar and comforting scent. It provided him with a sense of security and reassurance, that what he had was not going away.

"I'm okay," Ren's voice whispered, soft and quiet in his ear. "I told you not to watch."

Goro wanted to tell him that no matter how hard he tried, he could not tear his gaze away. He wanted to tell him that it was their form of torture for him, recapping these memories so he would never be able to forget.

"I should've never left…."

Ren stiffened in his arms as he pulled back and looked at him with a carefully guarded expression. Goro watched his tongue swipe over his lips as he leaned forward, eyes searching hard for something unknown.

"What do you mean?" he breathed.

Goro inhaled deeply and though he could not find the words, he was sure Ren took it upon his own interpretation.

"I can't, Ren."

The Leader pulled back and frowned lightly, eyebrows drawing together; it was hard to watch the disappointment flood his expression, dimming that beautiful light from his eyes. Goro wanted to cup his face and tell him he wanted so much more, but he could not bring himself to do so.

"I can't forgive myself."

"I forgive you," Ren rasped as he let his shoulders sag, losing the confidence he had moments ago. "I forgave you a long time ago. But I can't lose you."

Goro looked at him through thick lashes, almost afraid to make eye contact because he knew if he stared a little too long (even for a fraction of a second too long), he would give into the temptation.

"Not again," the ravenette murmured. "I can't go through it again."

Goro pursed his lips, then clicked his tongue, rubbing his hands on his knees. "Can I stay the rest of the night?"

Ren smiled at that.