Blake and Weiss' Commentary of Jem and the Holograms (2015) (Part 2)
"Hard as it may seem to believe, this movie has a clothing montage. I know. I so rarely see them, too. But if Erica's gonna turn them into the Jonas Sisters, she has a lot of work ahead of her. But it's okay, because she has an intern/son named Rio...", Blake began the second part of their review while her Schnee girlfriend activates her animated Jem fan computer program on her Scroll and putting the rage meter up to four-seventh, "...who's been hired to keep an eye on them.", as the next scene had Rio leading the girls to their room as a slow-motion sequence of them walking with he girls feeling the wind-blown curtains as they walk by the open windows.
Weiss questioned, "No, no, what was that slo-mo curtain thing? You're in a mansion and you focus on them being amazed by the curtains? What's the matter with you, movie?", also reacting to an excerpt where Kimber asks if they can't take their shoes off while Aja says she can't try her new ones on due to tiredness, "Yeah, it's hard having people do your makeup and try dresses on. What are you, 40?", summarizing after, "But something goes SUCK in the night as they hear a sound from Jerrica's bag.", just before the film showed Jerrica discovering the tiny robot named Synergy as clips of the young Jerrica and her father creating Snyergy was shown.
"Yeah, thanks for the reminder. We were confusing it with all the other robots we saw in this movie.", said the Faunus, before the following snippet has the other girls discovering Snyergy as Aja finds out and says it communicates through music, "I bet Aja could add, 'The exact opposite of what Nickelback does.'", and then joking when Synergy flashes a light onto the roof that reveals a map, "Wow... It's a map to Luke Skywalker! This sucker has everything!", confessing, "So, okay, screw the band. Her dad has created life. Obviously, they can sell this thing and make more than enough money to save the house.", then witnessing the girls discovering that Synergy projected the video where the next location may be at, "Or go to the place your iTrashcan showed you for a second."
The Schnee heiress clarifies, "Well, this clearly makes no sense. How about another pointless YouTube video to have it make even less sense?", as the movie shows another video of a man tapping pencils on a table while Jerrica and her friends get ready, "Yeah, they still think there's a connection somehow to what's going on in the movie and just random videos found online. Were the makers of this film just like, 'Random videos and movie equals Jem! Ta-da!'?", continuing afterwards, "So they steal Rio's car and brilliantly film it, because it'll look so awesome in their court hearing, as we cut to a security camera showing them driving off."
"Okay, seriously. Are you just ashamed that professional cameras filmed your movie?", asks the black-haired huntress, "Did they see the Blair Witch movies and were like, 'Oh! We could've half-assed it a lot more!' Spider-Man: Homecoming did a lot better with this method in its opening sequence!", before explaining the next plot point as well, "Get this. They go to the location and find another piece of the robot which gives them a clue to the location where the next piece is. So glad Dad spent all his time devising this Easter Egg hunt instead of, we don't know, keeping their future financially secure."
The white-haired huntress exampled, "It's like a wife saying, 'Hey, Frank, look. I invented the smart phone! I'm gonna use it to cut vegetables!' That's not how it works!", abstracting when the bodyguard Rio in the film meets up with the girls, "But Rio finds them, is surprisingly not turning them in... Grand Theft Auto is just girls having fun... But it looks like they might be busted because they're trespassing.", as she and her fellow teammate watch Rio tell the girls to jump off the bridge and dive into the river, coercing Jerrica to jump in as well, "Another phrase people say after watching this movie."
"Thank the gods that the airtight perfection of a trash bag kept Synergy dry, because now, he can jam with everybody.", relieves Blake as they saw another snippet of the movie where Snyergy was dancing to a song Jerrica, the girls and Rio were singing, "Do you think Synergy's proud with this role? Do you think he...brings it up at family get-togethers with EVE and BB-8? We wonder.", outlining after, "So they get ready for their first big concert...", worrying about Snyergy, "Hey, hide, Synergy! You don't want to make them money!", before adding, "...And it just happens to be at the same place where the next clue is. Coinkey-de-doo."
Weiss replied when Erica gives the girls a pep talk and instructs them on their posture, lean on the back of their legs, keep straight faces and not make friends with paparazzi, "Wouldn't you tell them all this a little before they're about to step out into the spotlight? She'd be saying, 'Oh, and by the way, you're not singing, you're actually juggling chihuahuas.'", abstracting as the power went off in the concert, "But unfortunately, the power goes off...spared no expense like in Jurassic Park...but everyone gets out their phones and they just keep the party going because they love it so much."
"I bet one of the audience members would cheer, 'Yay! None of us will have batteries to call our parents for a ride home! But at least we can barely hear what you're singing over everyone!'", the Faunus then describes the following part, "After the show, they locate yet another clue, and plug it into Synergy.", mimicking as the girls put the next piece of the clue into Synergy, "Jerrica, it's your father. If you're hearing this, I've been murdered. Don't trust your aunt!", detailing afterwards once again, "It doesn't seem to give them any answers, so Jem just spews out some random bullshit."
The Schnee heiress imagined as Jerrica narrated the moral of the story, "To shortly describe Jerrica's moral, 'Uh, follow your heart, listen to your dreams, remember to brush your teeth. I have other Daily Quote emails.'", outlining, "So everyone seems to be in love with Jem's amazingness...at least, everyone who was still under contract with Universal at the time, including Dwayne Johnson and Chris Pratt with the Jurassic World movies.", then saying, "But it looks like there's bad news on the horizon.", as Jerrica's aunt told her that she lost the appeal and they only have a week left.
"I think Jerrica should say, 'Okay, I have a robot with consciousness. We will be shitting money if I can get it to the right people-'", the black-haired huntress imitated before the film had Erica giving Jerrica a solo contract, "OH, FOR GODS' SAKE! PLEASE! JUST CHOOSE! THE! ROOOOO-BOOOOOOOT!", exasperating, "You're really gonna sign with a person who is doing everything she can to convince you she is literally the Devil?!", groaning before skipping to the next part, "So after signing it her legal name, I'm sure, she clearly goes to tell her sisters about it, right? Nope. She figures let it be a surprise! Surely, nothing bad would come of it in the near future."
The white-haired huntress responded as she and Blake watch the scene where Jerrica confronts her sisters who were distraught by her solo contract choice, "You signed a bullshit contract that completely screws you over? You really ARE an Internet star!", observing whilst summarizing, "They're, of course, pissed off that she tried to save her house...when, of course, they ALL should be pissed off they're not using that damn robot...or dead horse or whatever... Nevertheless, she gets dressed up as Lady Haha and lets these background dancers do God knows what.", before they saw Jem performing solo while male backup dancers do all sorts of movements.
Both Blake and Weiss couldn't help but mimic the male backup dancers' movements.
"They got their training by watching monkeys do interpretative dance. If you have a seat right in the middle of the theater, we look amazing. If not, we...just look really awkward and confused. But we know you're used to watching that in this movie anyway! If not, a break shall be so. Together, we can heal.", Blake simply said before they paused the movie for another break.
To be concluded...