Chapter 5: Convergence
Day 7 (Evening)
2nd Floor - Urbus
How many years has it been? Half a week? Kazuma thought aloud as he clamped his hands over his ears, shutting out the noises from the blue thing rippling through his newly-bought kotatsu.
It's resistant to fall damage, but remind me to get a soundproof version next time.
Three days - that was how long he and his band of misfits had camped at the inn, watching each other develop cabin fever. The crowded streets were barely any better, with their faces plastered all over posters, it was difficult, nigh impossible to take so much as a stroll or a breath of fresh air without being heckled by haters or swarmed by admirers. In fact, he would have to wait for the sun to set before sneaking out on his supply run, not that he was particularly fond of stealing items from NPCs, even if it was the only source of provisions amidst their exile from society.
You mad, riajuus? Come fight me if you can find me. I've been a shut-in for years - I can totally do this forever. Those were the words that had echoed in his mind for the dozenth time that afternoon, though the voices were beginning to sound increasingly hollow. Somehow, he was starting to miss the freedom of being able to go to the nearest convenience store for instant ramen, without having to guard his back every ten seconds from assassins and frenzied fans.
Perhaps more importantly, a part of him had wanted his second lease at life to be different. Hours dragged on like decades as he and his fellow fugitives wasted away in the room, taking turns to nap and keep watch ever since the last update had removed the concept of safe zones from their prison. And even if he did not care for the normies, the isolation and reclusion was getting to his party, who struggled to find the ceiling or the walls interesting while being constantly on the lookout with no end in sight, the stress of enemies busting down the door hanging over their heads like persistent phantoms unwilling to give up on their prey.
"Kazuuuuumaaaaa-saaaaan!" the useless goddess screeched again, guzzling down her tenth bottle of wine and pounding her fists on the table for more. Unsurprisingly, the deity of party tricks was the first to crack, denied of the attention from her audience at the taverns to feed her thirsty ego, though he was grateful that the wonders of sake had prevented her from turning the world upside down. Peeping his head out of his turtle-shell, he found the swordsman and the rapier-wielder staring at each other, having exhausted their usual conversation topics, while the deflated mage gazed blankly ahead, a shrivelled shell of her bubbly self, unable to do normal player things much less LARP as a nuclear-powered middle schooler in the second grade.
"Kazuma, I'll die if I don't cast an explosion a day," she croaked, so miserable that he almost felt the urge to pat her head if it were not for the absurdity of the claim.
"Thanks for not blowing us to smithereens but you'll drain your HP to zero if you aren't careful," he decided to be firm. "Remember what happened at the boss raid? You could've died if it wasn't for the blue thing."
"Kazuma, could you glare at me and call me a 'thing'?" the crusader pleaded from the goddess' cage where she had chosen to sleep in, the only one who relished their involuntary confinement. "I wouldn't mind following you on your rounds tonight, the way those people sneer at us in town makes me–"
"I'll be going alone," he cut her short, lurking away before she could lose herself to the excitement. Instinctively, his feet brought him to the Teleport Gate instead of the town square, and soon, he found himself walking down the dim halls of the mausoleum, trying his best to ignore the multitude of names that had been crossed out since his last visit.
In the cold silence, he quickened his pace, unable to get used to the heavy atmosphere no matter how many times he returned to the dark and solemn chamber, even if he himself had died in the real world, and had probably ended the cycle of reincarnation for all of humanity.
God, nobody's around to blame me, but it's just so depressing to think that I may've ruined it for everyone, that I may be the last person ever to have a second chance.
And I can't even begin to fix this mess until I get us all out of here in one piece.
"Missed me?" a familiar voice teased, "Took you a few days to come back."
"I don't recall making any plans with you," he remarked dryly, not in the mood for jokes.
"Aww, don't be rude, I wore a nice skirt today and brought you a few friends."
"I can see that. Whaddya want with me?"
"Well," she scratched her cheek as he glanced at her companions, "I kinda owe them one, so it's a personal favour from yours truly."
"Kazuma-san," the flaxen-haired girl in the blue tunic bowed, introducing herself as 'Philia' and requesting to join his party, while he folded his arms and looked away to hide his surprise at the earnest gesture that was a rare encounter in his life.
Is this the much-awaited moment of my youth? Has my popular phase finally begun?
"I'll think about it," he stammered, stroking his chin in mock deliberation as the shapely one with hair buns was the next to catch his attention.
"I-I'm a hacker, just like you," she began, stumbling over her words, clearly not used to talking to strangers, "I have magical powers, and I-I'd love to team up with you and your friends, especially that powerful sorceress."
Heh, you're probably better than her if you know more than one spell, but I guess I'll let you find that out for yourself.
"And you are?" he raised an eyebrow at the short-haired lancer who nodded shyly in response.
"I'm Sachi, I'm not as impressive as Philia-san or Yunyun," she giggled embarrassedly, "but I'll train hard to be on par with everyone else if you'd give us a chance."
"Yeah, I'd like to learn some new skills too," the treasure hunter piped in, "I've picked up a few from Chris but she said that Kazuma-san is the best."
"I-I didn't!" the white-haired figure protested, shielding her chest.
"But the broker told me that you always talk about him–"
"STEAL!"
She was cut short as the hiki-NEET and the not-goddess chose that very moment to unleash upon the seemingly empty space at the doorway, each pulling an item out of thin air. A few seconds later, a sharp squeal was heard as a yellow-haired broker appeared, abandoning her attempt to eavesdrop on the group, having lost her hood and more at the hands of the thieving duo.
"Woah, Argo, speak of the devil," the lancer gasped, genuinely awed by the spontaneous demonstration before her eyes.
"You mean I came just in time, right?" the uncovered Rat grunted, her whiskers twitching, self-conscious at her tight top and short shorts which were supposed to serve as her inner wear.
"Seems like we have a similar taste in clothes," commended the white-haired thief, grinning as she toyed with the fabric in her hands, "I don't tattle as much though."
"Can I have it back, please? I-It's getting a little cold in here."
"Won't hurt for us to have matching outfits for a day, don't you think?"
"I-I wasn't referring to the cloak."
"Hang on," she froze, the gears creaking in her head, "Kazuma, what did you take? Her chest-pads?"
"H-Her what?" her audience erupted in unison, wondering if they had heard her wrongly, or if such things even existed in Aincrad.
"A-Are you making fun of me?" the broker exploded, "I know everybody here is envious of Yunyun but why on earth would I have those on me?"
"Eh?" it was her turn to stutter and blush, "B-But–"
"I nicked some money off her," the hiki-NEET interjected, laughing awkwardly as he navigated through his inventory. "Isn't that right, Argo?"
"Yup, that's absolutely correct," the broker was quick to agree, smiling nervously as she composed herself. "You took a million Col from me."
"I don't think so, but I guess I'll have to pawn a certain something to pay you back in full–"
"Wait!" she cried before he could finish, "I remember now, it's actually a hundred thousand."
"I believe it's a tenth of that," he could not help but grin as she grudgingly accepted the sum, if only to keep up with pretences in front of the others.
"Sneaky as always, Argo," commented his thieving partner, "you tried your luck but he totally owned you there."
"H-He–" she fumed, unable to explain herself without revealing more details. "Gah, I don't care!"
"Neither do I, really," he shrugged. "Wasn't aiming for anything of the sort but I'll hold on to it anyway - can't trust someone who makes a living off peddling information to not leak our whereabouts when the entire universe is after our asses."
"You don't have to," she snarled, more resolute than furious, "I'll never betray Kii-bou, ever."
"We'll see about that," he softened a little at her retort. "Either way, I'd rather have you on our side. Feel free to join the party, we'd be glad to have more allies given our current predicament."
At that, the others cheered, pushing the last member of the Moonlit Black Rats to accept the invitation, which she did so reluctantly before following the hiki-NEET back to the inn. Sure enough, the rest of the team was waiting impatiently for his return, the blue thing lamenting the fact that he had brought back more girls instead of bottles of sake, even as he had already informed her in advance. Nevertheless, having lost contact with the swordsman for days since the boss raid, the broker was relieved to see that he was alive and well, with a new and admittedly pretty companion by his side - not that she minded in any way - and a fresh round of niceties were exchanged as they went on to introduce themselves to each other.
"A-chan," she coined a nickname for the chestnut-haired girl. Meanwhile, the self-proclaimed deity insisted on being addressed as 'Aqua-sama', which she obliged out of sarcasm, only for the so-called goddess to celebrate at having successfully recruited her first 'Axis cultist' - whatever that was supposed to mean.
"Give me a name too," the crusader prompted, "anything would do."
"Lemme think - Alice? Artoria? Ai? Nah, too many 'A's. How does 'Lalatina' sound?"
"That's a good one. Now say it with a disgusted face–"
"What about me?" the mage interrupted before she could continue.
"I'd still go with 'Megumin', it just fits. Amirite, Trashzuma?"
"Oi, you little rodent," was the only response she received from under the kotatsu.
"Argo, it's nice to see you again, though it's getting a little late," the swordsman chuckled. "Let's call it a night and catch up in the morning, shall we?"
"Yeah, wouldn't wanna disturb your snuggle time with A-chan," she snorted as they blushed a bright shade of crimson. "Come on, Phi-chan, Chris, Yunyun, and you too, Sacchan, unless you'd like to stay here with them."
"But isn't it better to stick together instead of splitting up, now that we're part of the most-wanted group in Aincrad?"
"Hmm, on second thought, you've got a point," the broker concurred as she proceeded to make herself comfortable beside the swordsman, sandwiching him between her bare midriff and the rapier-wielder's unamused glare. After all, it was not her fault that the white-haired figure of mischief was still holding on to her cloak, though she would have loved to see their reaction had they known that it was truly breezy under her shorts.
Damn you, Kazuma, if it weren't so liberating going commando, I'd be making you pay in full.
"Asuna, you really didn't need to come along," the swordsman laughed nervously as steel clashed with iron in the otherwise quiet chamber of the underground dungeon. His chestnut-haired friend had been acting rather awkwardly since the morning began, rolling her eyes as the cheeky info-broker took her usual seat at the table beside him. He swore that his favourite teriyaki sandwiches had been served cold and extra spicy, and when the lancer had sought his mentorship, she had immediately volunteered to accompany them on their first practice in the hidden arena below the Town of Beginnings.
Huffing, she dished out a Diagonal Sting that was barely parried by the lancer. With each thrust at lightning speed, the short-haired girl was on the defensive, yet she bit her lip and stood her ground with all the strength and grit that she could muster, even when it was clear that she was neither as fast or aggressive as the rapier-wielder. More flashes came at her like an endless storm, the pointed tip piercing the air inches away from her face, and she struggled to deflect the raging tempest, swinging her spear to protect her head at the last possible moment, not wanting to taste the pain that she had become all too familiar with, nor disappoint the young man who had been tirelessly training her for the past three hours.
I'm a selfish coward. I've always relied on others. But I have friends that I care about and kouhais to protect. That's why I have to be strong, even when I'm a useless weakling.
"Sachi!" he warned, jolting her from her daze as her opponent charged up a Flashing Penetrator. Startled, she raised her weapon out of pure instinct and desperation, only to be overwhelmed in the very next second by shockwaves of excruciation radiating from the gaping wound in her chest. Stunned, her sparring partner stood petrified, horrified by the damage, leaving her to extract the blade herself before her HP gauge could drop any further, pulling the metal out of her trembling body in the absence of anaesthesia to dull the agony.
Alarmed, he rushed over to catch her before she could lose her balance and fall to the ground, choking and heaving from the torment and suffering. Grabbing her shoulders, he gently steadied her, allowing her to take a much-needed breather as the rapier-wielder looked away, mumbling repeated words of apology in the silence that had filled the chamber.
"Asuna," he sighed when she finally stopped, "I know we've been cooped up for days, but that was cruel and uncalled for."
"I'm sorry."
"What's gotten into you? You haven't been quite yourself lately."
"I-I'm fine."
"If there's anything that's bothering you, I'd rather you vent it on me than her, okay?"
"I-I wasn't–" she spluttered, strangely upset as he stared on, confused. "I-I didn't–"
"Hmm?"
"I-I don't know," she sniffed before turning to stomp away, her heavy footsteps echoing off the walls of the empty room. For a long while, they could only stare at her disappearing silhouette, before realising that he was still supporting her weight in his arms.
"Thanks for the save, Kirito-kun, I'm feeling better now," she stuttered, turning red as she wobbled back to her feet, "I really think you should go after Asuna-san, it's dangerous to be alone out there."
"But it isn't safe to leave you here either, Sachi."
"I'll just follow you then," she smiled, "let's find her together."
Meanwhile, back at the inn, the hiki-NEET yawned, having slept through breakfast without the usual wakeup call from the blue thing who was snoring soundly atop the kotatsu. Peeking his head out from below, he was inches away from crashing into the startled face of the flaxen-haired girl who had decided to peer in at the same time.
Dang, that was a close encounter, he thought aloud, ducking back into the safety of his bunker, are girls in blue garb always this clumsy? At least this one doesn't have her hair dyed in that godforsaken colour.
"Kazuma-san, I've made some food," her voice called out as a hand reached in to grab his own, "I know it's been a tiring night but you'll be hungry if you don't eat up."
Wait, she isn't asking me to feed her snacks and bring her wine? And she actually made me a meal to boot?
Are you sure you aren't a goddess? Hold on, Philia-tan, watch where you're pulling, you can't just drag me out like that–
"Hehe, gotcha!" she giggled as he popped out of his shell, only to be crushed by the blue thing that had inadvertently rolled off the table, drowning him in the stench of alcohol emanating from her warm breath. Long, silky hair spilled over his cheeks as two supple lumps of flesh pressed against his chest, and for a moment, he could not help but feel a brief tingle in his spine–
You shall not tempt me, woman, he growled, pushing her away before she could make a fuss. As expected, she stirred the very next instant, her eyelids fluttering open as she stretched, her shapely mounds hanging freely within the thin cloth of her pyjamas.
This better not awaken anything in me.
"Kazuma-san, Aqua-sama," the treasure hunter laughed, "I think you should both get changed for the day."
"Tell that to the hiki-NEET," the blue thing snickered as she put on her dress, "he probably hasn't changed out of his clothes in the past week."
"I love my tracksuit, thank you very much," he countered, though not as proudly as he intended to be, "it doesn't get sweaty or soiled in the game unless I start puking over myself."
"Hey, what're you trying to imply, otaku slob!"
"Keep your dirty nose out of my laundry, rainbow vomiter!"
"Uwaaaaaaaaaa–" the useless goddess wailed at the top of her lungs as she ran around the inn like a headless chicken, nearly knocking over the duo on her third pass, stopping only to gorge herself on sweets and gulp down a big bottle of sake as if it were a large pacifier.
"Is she really old enough to drink?" the treasure hunter whispered beside his ear, "She's probably in high school, isn't she?"
"Oh, you wouldn't wanna know," he quipped, pulling away from her to put some distance between them. "Looks can be deceiving."
"I guess she could change her hairstyle but the [Hand Mirror] doesn't lie."
Not if you're an ageless deity, or a rotting corpse like me, he mused, retreating further as she took a step forward, we're ghosts of artificial data, miles apart from a real girl like you.
Also, I can smell your shampoo or conditioner or whatever perfume that is from here.
"What's for lunch?" he questioned, keen to distract himself from the fragrance that was causing his heart to palpitate.
If the system is accurate, she must be pretty cute in the outside world too - a reality where I no longer exist, a place that I can no longer return to.
"Ta-da!" she pulled out some bread and cream, "Sorry, Kazuma-san, I know it's nothing compared to what the others could bake, but it's the best I could do. I just wanted to thank you in advance for the skills that I hope you could teach me along the way, if it isn't too much trouble for you."
Damn it, it's just a simple token of appreciation, what's with this melancholy?
"Let me know how it is," she continued as he munched away in the corner, "I'll learn from Asuna-san so I can make a better meal next time."
Philia, you don't have to do that to get me to train you to be a two-bit thief.
I'm already dead. We don't even need to eat to survive here. Just screech like the useless goddess or spew some chuuni nonsense and I'd still be glad to pass on my knowledge for the sake of eight thousand lives.
Besides, what better way to add to the legends of Satou Kazuma, the King of Adventurers, than to have a line of disciples in a guild?
Philia-tan, you'll be my first.
Oh shit, did I just say that last sentence aloud? No, don't just stand there and blush, you idiot! You'll make everyone misunderstand!
"Kirito and Asuna are out with Sachi while the others are with Megumin," she stammered, fidgeting in the silence, "we're alone here, how'd you suggest we begin?"
"You mean the training, right?"
"O-Of course! What else could I be referring to?"
"You nearly threw me off for a second," he exhaled in relief as she glowed a brighter shade of pink, "I guess I'll show you how it's done while you try to pick up what you can. But I'll need something or someone I can demonstrate on."
"Just do it on me," she volunteered, unfazed by his apparent hesitation, "I'm sure I'll catch up in no time if I get to experience it first-hand."
"Philia-tan, I–"
"Go ahead, bring it on," she insisted, her hazel eyes burning with determination, "Put me to the test."
Girl, you're making this harder than it already is.
Argh, seems like I have no choice but to–
"STEAL!"
With a blinding flash, a pink object appeared in his hand. It was soft and smooth to touch, and as he ran his fingers across the cool, flawless surface, he knew that he had attained a gift of the gods, a piece of heaven itself in his mortal grasp.
"What's that?" she asked, not realising the true nature of the loot, one that came not from the incarnating radius but the skies beyond the palace.
In the tranquil silence, he did not reply, knowing that the answer would reveal itself like waves across the sea.
"Kazuuuuumaaaaa-saaaaan!" a voice erupted soon enough, "Where's my scarf? Did you take it?"
"STEAL!"
With another burst of light, he found himself clutching a small, spherical item as she turned around, her hair falling loosely, her signature knot undone. Amused, he toyed with the replica of a water molecule as annoyance and irritation washed over her face, not that he was about to give up on his second attempt.
"STEAL!"
The third time's the charm, right?
Yet he failed once again, taking over her half-empty bottle as she climbed all over him to wrestle it back. Foamy liquid spilled from the glass as they tussled with each other, rolling and tumbling across the floor for a good five minutes until they were both out of breath and dripping wet in alcohol.
"That was the last one, you dummy!" she cried, her sparkly tears mixing with the smudges on her cheek and the puddles on the ground, "You could've taken anything but that!"
"Aqua," he panted, trying his best to not ogle at the curves barely concealed by her soaked attire as she lay atop his equally drenched body, "I don't care when you're in your nightwear but please tell me you're wearing panties under that dress."
Silence.
Huh?
An ominous sense of dread took hold, followed by a pang of guilt and regret when he saw her hurt and angered expression.
"Sorry," he apologised as she crawled to her feet to retrieve her scarf and hairpin, "I–"
"You went too far back there?" she completed his sentence in a stinging moment of clarity, "Trust me, Kazuma, it'll take more than a stupid question and a childish prank to push me over the edge."
"But you know what really hits me?" she gritted her teeth, "None of you seem to take me seriously. I'm a silly clown to be teased, to be made fun of. I'm the butt of jokes, the comic relief, the court jester in a castle that is hell."
"Aqua, I–"
"I know I'm vain and lazy and drunk half the time. I'm not sharp, but I'm not deaf or blind. I'd just let it slide because I thought it'd make everyone happy. But how can I be when everybody is laughing at me?"
"Aqua-sama," the treasure hunter bowed, "please don't blame it all on Kazuma. It's my fault too, I've misjudged you as well."
"I just can't believe I had to give up everything to be here with a bunch of ingrates," she sobbed, casting one last glare at the hiki-NEET before storming out the room and slamming the door behind her.
Where do I go from here? A tavern, perhaps? Someplace where I can drink the pain and frustration away. I'm getting thirsty, and I can't just turn back after that outburst of temper.
I'm sick and tired and pissed, but that came out harsher than expected. I don't know, maybe it's because of her - the way she interacts with him, the way he looks at her. Why can't he do the same with me? This is so unfair. Does he like petite girls with short hair? I'm a goddess for goodness' sake, yet it bugs me like an itch I can't scratch.
God, I really need a strong blend. Wait, do I have money? My purse is empty. Urgh, I'll just have to put on a smiling face and show off some tricks for Col.
If only my eyes weren't so red and puffy.
The atmosphere was strangely sullen as the others returned later that evening without the goddess or the chestnut-haired figure. Only the mage was grinning contentedly as she rested on the back of the crusader, unconscious but satisfied, having blasted four days' worth of magical energy at a certain labyrinth in the distance, while managing to not die from the toll on her HP.
"Kii-bou, before I forget," the broker declared, opening her menu to trade with the swordsman, "a gift from Yunyun for accepting the Moonlit Black Rats. It's a special drop from the reaper that she destroyed a few days back–"
"Thanks," he grunted absent-mindedly, as if having lost interest in the [Coat of Midnight] that he had so desired. How could he feel any joy when the lancer was staring despondently at the floor, while the treasure hunter remained stuck to the side of the kotatsu where the hiki-NEET had shut himself in, the excitement of new recruits and the promise of freedom and adventure having completely dissipated in the span of a few hours?
The way things were progressing, it was as if they were cursed to waste away in the room, just like the days before, watching the ceiling and the walls for weeks and months and years to come. That was why he found himself hoping that something would happen - anything that was better than nothing - before they would inevitably wither and die of sheer boredom and stagnation.
SAO, after all, was a game to be played, not a void to be endured.
That was why, as ripples began to form in his cup of tea, followed by waves of tremors shaking the ground and reverberating through the windows, he was the first to leap to his feet and head for the door with his weapon ready.
Drawing a deep breath, he held his blade high, the shiny metal gleaming in the rays of the setting sun–
Finally, a new day.
A/N: Thanks to your kind support, I've decided to continue with this for now (yay, confetti).
Some character development / SOL before we return to the action in the next chapter. New bonds are forged and existing ones are challenged as the Moonlit Black Rats join the party. At this point, it's only Day 8 (there will be time-skips, don't worry), the ocean is blue and the ships are free. I'm open to suggestions and feedback if my readers would prefer to give Sachi and Philia a chance or stick with good old Kirisuna and Kazuqua, and whether such relationship drama (or harem warfare) is of interest.
Best girls Suguha and Alice feature in my earlier completed work Reality Offline (SAO x Oregairu AU) so they'll be taking a break in this timeline.
On another note, just like how I've added Yukinoshita Yukino from Oregairu and Shiba Miyuki from The Irregular at Magic High School to Sachi (all of whom share the same VA) to strengthen her character (which was a little underdeveloped in canon due to short screentime), I've also added Mizuhara ("water source") Chizuru from Rental Girlfriend to Aqua to give her more wetness, I mean more awareness and maturity in line with the darker theme of SAO compared to Konosuba, which shows in this chapter.
As always, favs/follows/reviews highly appreciated!