Author's Note: I know we should be in Bespin by now... but I decided to go on a different route.
The suspicion had been there all along. Padmé somehow knew Leia had not the intention of taking her to Hoth, she just deep down hoped they were actually travelling to Alderaan, after all. Her eyes looked around, trying hard to decipher where they were. There was a scary quiet, so deep and prominent, she wondered for a moment if they weren't in some remote moon, removed from any life. Leia seemed to know her way. She walked steadily as they followed her through a deserted hangar. The place was in ruins, and it seemed like it had been for quite some time. It vaguely reminded Padmé of the previous rebel base, where Leia kept her captive, where the rebels celebrated some great victory after the destruction of the so called Death Star.
The rebel princess stopped before a small shuttle.
"That'll do," she said to herself, sighing, "I'll get the rations from the headquarters," she turned to face them, but the pretty brown eyes looked only at the captain. "Give my best to… everyone, Han. Please let them know that I am okay, and I will do everything in my power to return soon."
Captain Solo was as talented as the princess when it came to putting on a brave face, but Padmé thought she could see through it. She could see what had been so plain, and yet so hidden to see.
"Wait," Padmé said, with a rush of panic, "you're leaving, captain? You're leaving us here?"
"Until Luke returns to get you," Leia said. "It's been impossible trying to contact him, but Han will send him our way. Then I will be free from my promise, then you will be his burden to take."
Padmé ignored the painful prickle Leia's words caused. "Why can't I go to Hoth and meet him there, if that's where he's expecting me? I don't understand your actions at all Leia."
"I'm sure you don't," Leia said with sarcasm. "Get back to the ship," she said to the pilots, "the sooner you go the sooner I might leave too."
"Better hope Rieekan doesn't kill me when I arrive without you," Han Solo said, taking the princess's hand and directing her back to the Millennium Falcon. It seemed like he just wanted to say farewell to the princess without Padmé's prying eyes, but as all the passengers left she had the horrible fear they might mean to abandon her there in the middle of nowhere.
She took several deep breaths, trying to keep herself calm; she put both hands over the hard walls, supporting herself in them to stay on her feet. Suddenly the wall stopped and she touched something else. There was a holo projector. Though it seemed the power was off, the place was not sunk in darkness. A large chunk of ceiling was missing, allowing moonlight to illuminate the way. She clicked the button on the projector and almost fell back as light exploded all around. Rays of green and blue crossed her. The big holo before her had a bit of history recorded. At the top, the title said DECLARTION OF REBELLION, along with a scrolling text of words so eloquently insurgent, she felt herself moved. She kept walking and saw another great title, which said, DELEGATION OF THE 2000, followed by a list of names. She skimmed through most of them until she realized she knew almost every one there. Her heart jumped to her mouth at the words Senator Padmé Amidala, and her own signature.
"Fun read, uh?" Princess Leia said behind her.
Padmé jumped, startled. "Oh gods, you're still here?"
"Yes, did you think I would abandon you? Then I'm sure Luke wouldn't forgive me."
"If you know what you're doing will anger him… why are you doing it?"
The princess rolled her eyes.
"So it's just the two of us?" Padmé said, awkwardly. "Even Threepio is gone?"
"He doesn't have to suffer with me just because Luke is a dreamer. Besides, Han might need him to assure everyone he did not just abandon me somewhere in the galaxy."
"Han… I must say I misjudged Captain Solo. He seems like a good man, after all. Congratulations."
Leia pursed her lips, with pretended indifference. "We don't have to talk about him—in fact, we don't have to talk at all. Let's go and see if I can find my old quarters, there might be something to eat left. Maybe even some clothes."
"You used to live here?"
"More or less."
"This was the rebel base before, right?"
Leia fidgeted with her hands, nervously. "I told you we don't have to talk."
Padmé followed her in silence. They entered a chamber, not particularly large, yet well kept, a lot less ruined than the rest of the base. It was a double apartment. Princess Leia pointed to the smaller one so that Padmé would enter. She did so and found inside, sort of shockingly, a teenage girl's room. There was a bed with a big mattress; a closet that took most of the space; a fresher with a bath; several mirrors and nightstands. She took one look at herself and sighed, panic and anxiety were plain in her pale face. Her hair was a mess of curls, still shiny but unruly. She opened the closet and found many beautiful dresses. The princess had great taste, she thought, although most of the fabrics were simple, without intricate patterns or bright colors – which Padmé usually preferred, the clothes were elegant and functional.
"By all means," Leia startled her once more, damn her light step! "Take any you like."
"I wasn't planning to—"
"I mean it," she said without sarcasm, "although they might pale in comparison to the great dress you wear now," she glanced her over with her questioning eyes. "A lot better than the rebel clothes we provided for you in Yavin."
"Yavin?"
"Never mind—that's a vintage gown, isn't it? It looks from the times of the Old Republic. I have to ask… how did you get it?"
"It's mine," Padmé said calmly. But then she wasn't so calm. "I bought it. Before the war."
"The Clone Wars?" Leia grinned. "Ah yes. Did the dress time travel with you?"
"Darth Vader gave it back to me," she said before she could stop herself.
Leia lost her smile at the mention of the Sith. She nodded, as if a great suspicion had been cleared.
"You must miss it. The Empire. The emperor's dog. He took good care of you."
Padmé looked away; this was not a topic she wanted to start.
"Did he give you that cloak too?" Leia taunted. "It looks brand new."
"Stop."
"What might you be made of…? What might be in your heart and soul… to be able of…" Leia rambled on under her breath, and there was a shade of hatred covering her face as she looked at Padmé.
Suddenly, the princess looked very worried. She glanced around the surroundings, as if expecting something to appear and hurt them.
The wind started whistling, banging on the metal walls.
"Well, you will not be in a castle any time soon," she resumed. "But this room is yours for now. Take anything. It doesn't matter."
"What planet is this?"
Leia stopped for a moment, as if pondering whether it even mattered or not if she told the truth. "Dantooine."
Padmé repressed a gasp. There is a Jedi temple in this planet…
"We're really in the middle of nowhere," she limited to say. My son must be so afar… "What's the delegation of 2000?"
Leia smirked. "Shouldn't you know that, 'Padmé Amidala'?"
Don't fall for her taunting…
"I saw Bail's name in there, too."
Leia lost her smirk. "You are a bold one, aren't you? Despite that little angelic face. You might be able of fooling Luke, but I can see through you. You are hiding something. And it involves Darth Vader. Isn't that right?"
"It doesn't necessarily mean that I support the Empire," Padmé evaded.
"Mm. What does it mean then? You didn't fear him, you crazy—" she gritted her teeth, as if holding back a harsh insult. "You actually went back to him—"
"I did not! I was his prisoner!" And you're damn wrong did I fear him!
"Oh yes. Like you were ours? Yet when we met again you were well fed, neat, luxuriously dressed, sad but not traumatized. That doesn't sound like someone who was a prisoner of the Galactic Empire, even less, of Darth Vader."
"He is not a monster," Padmé heard herself say, "Not completely. No one is, Leia. Even if you find it hard to believe… there is good in almost everyone."
Leia narrowed her eyes, she stared hard at Padmé, as if to consider whether she was lying or mocking her. Realizing Padmé was in earnest, the princess took a calming breath.
"Good in almost everyone…" she repeated. "Even in Darth Vader?" she said with disbelief. "Even in the Emperor?"
"I once knew Palpatine. I know he was capable of good. Like I said, everyone is. If he allowed his mind to be corrupted and his soul consumed by power then he must pay the consequences."
"How exactly?" Leia sat, explosive anger at bay, threatening to come out.
"By a punishment that fits the crime. He has established a dictatorship, he should be trialed and arrested—"
"Really?" Leia stood again, a flame lighting her dark eyes.
Padmé took a cautious step back. She gulped, but continued, "The sentence should be just. He shouldn't have the chance of ever being in a position of power. The world of politics should shun him—"
"I should hope so!" Leia was too agitated.
"And.. and… all those who enabled him, too, of course. Vengeance would do nothing for the galaxy."
"Wouldn't it?!" the princess's quick voice shook with emotion.
"Are you alright?" Padmé asked with concern. Leia rolled her eyes. "They should be imprisoned," Padmé concluded.
Leia laughed, a dry chuckle free of any joy or humor.
"I would throw Darth Vader of the top of any building. I would fire at Emperor Palpatine without second thought. I would even slash them in pieces with a lightsaber if I knew how to use one… and it still wouldn't be vengeance. I would consider it justice."
"You speak shockingly, Leia," Padmé was disturbed. "I hope in time you will find it in your heart to forgive. Resentment isn't good for the soul. You might not even mean those cruel words. You might not even understand the hatred of which you speak."
"I understand hatred every bit as well, as I understand love. There are things… actions, that do not deserve forgiving. People who cannot be redeemed."
"I don't believe that! There is good in almost every living creature."
"Any one in particular?" Leia approached her, locking eyes with Padmé, causing the senator from the Old Republic to avert her eyes, feeling ashamed. "Is there someone on your mind, 'Senator'? You would have to be as evil as him… to even being able of standing his presence. The very sound of that unhuman voice! That respirator, keeping him alive. That horrible black mask," Leia shuddered. "The mechanical body! Admit it, at once! What is there between you and Darth Vader?!"
Padmé did a double take, as if she had been slapped.
"You're mistaken!"
"Am I?"
Padmé felt her cheeks growing crimson under Leia's accusing gaze. Guilt and shame forced her to look down, while the princess held her head high.
"Typical reaction from the Empire," Leia said, "You might act as you do while protected but you shrunk like a coward when alone."
"You never run out of insults, Princess. I might soon stop being affected by them."
"Oh please, I know you don't care about what I think."
"You're wrong about that. Your father would hate to see us like this. Leia… you probably have reason to feel the way you do. I'm sorry… I must ask: what happened to Bail Organa?"
The princess didn't cry again, she did not shed one tear. She took a deep breath, and without tremor, said, "Few things anger me more than people who play dumb. Stop that. Now. Remember where we met. You were at the Death Star. Your constant comments aren't hurtful, they're INSULTING!" she stopped for a moment to check her voice.
"The imperial station? I only know you (the rebellion) had stolen the plans. And then destroyed it. I never did learn what it was."
Leia considered her for a long moment, as if trying to decide whether Padmé might be actually telling the truth. She passed her hands over a conflicted face, frustrated, angered, pained and shocked. "You say there is good in everyone, 'Padmé'. Well, let's test it. Can you please point the good for me… in the man who betrayed democracy, law, and life itself? The man who erased the Jedi order from existence, killing even the youngest Force sensitive? The tyrant who rules with an unmerciful, powerful, unyielding fist? The Sith! Where do you see the good in the demon who does his bidden? And please," Leia's voice finally cracked, "Explain to me how to forgive the Empire that destroyed my home?"
Padmé shook her head, lost, barely processing Leia's words. Words that the princess had been wanting—needing— to say, to scream, and she could not before, befalling Padmé.
"And when I say destroyed, I don't mean the kind of destruction that would knock down a building, or set cities on fire. Not even the kind that takes away your loved ones by ending their lives. The destruction the Galactic Empire causes does not even leave a grave where you might go visit your dead. There is no burial ground I might walk over. There is not a corpse over which I might cry. I do not get to mourn. There isn't time. I do not get to ever set foot on the land I love. Never will I ever hear the voices of Alderaan. See the tall mountains. Feel its wind. The Death Star is what the name suggests. DEATH! Gone is the planet that I loved, which I called my home. There is not even a rock left. My dear mother and father. The people I was supposed to protect… Alderaan doesn't exist anymore."
Padmé could have easily chosen to misunderstand Leia's words, as she had chosen to do with previous information. But she could not trick her mind anymore. The tears that streamed down her face completely soaked her skin. The sobs choked her. And she almost fell back.
"No!" Padmé screamed. "What you're saying is impossible! How…?"
"SHUT UP! You do not get to be angry about this!" Leia cried. "You don't get to act more hurt. Clean those tears. Even if they might be genuine… I can't stand them!"
Padmé picked herself up. She hushed her weeping.
"Tell me again to call my father," Leia's voice went hoarse only at the last word. "Ask me again if we might not arrive to Alderaan soon. Please, mock me once more so that I might get my blaster from my belt. Useless as that might be… it will free me from you!"
The princess turned her back on her, and Padmé was almost relieved because she really couldn't face her.
"I'm so sorry," she muttered.
"Why?" Leia was almost composed. "Do you have any blame here?"
Padmé put a hand over her chest, as if the action could stop the ache in her heart. Guilt of unimaginable crimes crushing her spirit.
"Darth Vader never told me that," she gasped through a held back sob.
Leia turned to face her. "That's what you choose to focus on?! Oh stop crying! Well, let's resume. Is there good in him?"
Padmé looked down, speechless. Leia did not leave the room: she wanted that answer.
"I must say Princess," Padmé finally spoke, even if she avoided the hard question. "You must really love Luke. You keep me safe from the Empire even when you hate me, when you think me a traitor, accomplice to what you most scorn. I deserve your hatred. But does Vader?" Padmé posed the question, knowing the answer, but wondering to what extent.
Sadness disappeared from Leia's face. Rancor and fury replaced it. The mention of the Sith made her voice shake even more than her own loss and sorrow. "Darth Vader. Poor Sith might not deserve it. Am I being cruel, Old Republic Senator? Maybe you're right. Let me forgive him for TORTURING ME. FOR KEEPING THOSE HARD UNHUMAN HANDS AROUND ME, AS I WAS FORCED TO WATCH THE DEATH STAR DESTROY MY PLANET—!"
The metal walls and grounds clattered, as if overcome by a huge object, overpowering Leia's words, making a horribly loud noise that made the two women jump.
When silence fell, Padmé felt compelled to speak, even if in her low pained voice, "You're right. Of course you are," and then she said, more herself, wrecked almost beyond repair. "Is there anything… he has not destroyed?"
The image of Darth Vader came to her, bringing back terror and uneasiness. She did not want to cry again in front of the princess, especially when Leia had managed to become so composed. How does she do it? Padmé wondered, knowing that had she learned Naboo had been destroyed in the way Leia described… she would have died. She could not take it. She had hardly been able of assimilating the things she learned. I might have once been like that…The princess was built differently. She might look as though she were made of porcelain… but that girl was strong as steel.
And with that steely will she once again lunged over Padmé. Not to attack, she quickly realized, the princess had put a small hand over Padmé's mouth, to keep her from making any noise.
Padmé put away her thoughts and fear, aside where they might not interfere. She became aware like Leia, and followed the princess at the back of the room, to a small door, away from the steps that were coming near.