The Christmas party at the Sergeant's house was in full swing.
She was standing in a corner, sipping on a glass of champagne. She didn't feel social, at all. A part of her didn't even want to come, for various reasons, the number one being that she was still grieving the loss of her friend. The other she didn't even want to admit to herself, but honestly- she was avoiding a very particular person.
And in the last month, she's been partially successful in doing it.
Granted, she wasn't proud of that. She never considered herself as a coward, but that fateful evening in his living room, that fateful hug- turned her life upside down. If she could see that night play out on a screen, the best way to describe her face after Tim walked past her to his bedroom- was that her feelings for that man had finally slapped her in the face.
From that moment on, she became aware of him. Painfully aware.
Why now? Why didn't it happen sooner? That of all things made her mad at herself. She stood by his side for a year, every day, every hour- and while she had always known that he was a very good-looking man—after all, she wasn't blind-, a good person, a solid man with morals, protective of her (maybe too much), kind, gentle- it wasn't until that hug that she realized she liked him.
And not in a platonic way. It wasn't worth it denying it anymore.
She liked- really liked, Tim Bradford.
And because of that, she was screwed. Because he wasn't a normal guy.
He was Trainer Officer Tim Bradford to her. And the very qualities that she loved the most about him, were what made him unavailable to her. She was his rookie, and while that period of their lives was effectively over and had been for a long time now, she knew that's all he was willing to permit.
And—could she blame him?
He always told her not to get involved.
So- she decided the most adult thing to do was avoiding him.
And just like that, she caught a glimpse of him in the crowd of people chatting in the kitchen. His broad shoulders in that leather jacket were hard to miss.
She huffed in her glass at her stupid thoughts.
And she didn't turn her eyes away fast enough, because the next second his blue ones were pinning her to her spot - and she almost let go of the glass in her hand.
Time to go. She turned in the opposite direction, straight to the balcony behind the house.
The fresh air seemed a very good idea.
She knew she wasn't even trying to conceal that she rather be anywhere else than in his company. And it wasn't fair to him. She absolutely knew that. The rightest thing to do was walk straight to him and ask him point-blank if he liked her. If he felt—anything for her.
However, there was no way in hell she could do that. No way—a gunfight was more appealing to her than that. She couldn't just go back to what he was before either.
The truth was that she didn't know what to do.
She put her hands on the railing, dropping her head down. She inhaled deeply the cold air, before closing her eyes for a moment.
What a mess.
"I gather you aren't having fun." His voice was soft, and she knew he tried to sound playful.
She opened her eyes, raising her head slowly, just as he came to stand beside her. She felt the heat irradiating from his body without even touching him.
"It's been a long day."
She felt him nod slightly, looking ahead.
"And a long month— and a long year."
"Yeah."
And then—the worst thing happened. Silence. Awkward silence- the worst kind. It was never like that between them. Always a joke—always a Tim test.
It lasted seconds, or maybe minutes, hours—she didn't know. When she finally decided to take the glass and run, he spoke again.
"So—you wanna tell me what's going on with you?" He turned to look at her.
"What do you mean?" Play dumb wasn't the best idea, especially with Tim.
He rolled his eyes at her. "You know exactly what I mean. You've been avoiding me for weeks now. I tried to give you space—but I can't do it anymore. It's driving me nuts. At first, I thought it was for Jackson—"
"It is—" Half-truth.
He tilted his head. "But there's more. And I don't know what it is because we don't talk anymore. You're distracted, you look sad—and If it's for something I said, or did—"
He sounded so hurt it made her heart clench.
"No—it's not that. Tim—"
"Hey guys!" The stranger's voice came from inside the house, and both turned their faces to one of the guys of the surveillance team watching them.
"Next time pay more attention to your surroundings!" He was laughing his butt out- at them. And she was confused—until she noticed Tim looking at something on the ceiling. She followed his gaze until she saw it.
Mistletoe. Hanging right on top of their heads.
Well, shit.
Suddenly the air changed. The conversation was long forgotten. Tim was looking at her with an unreadable expression on his face, and her body became rigid.
He wasn't going to do it.
He took a step toward her.
He wasn't—he couldn't.
Another one, until he was right in front of her.
"Tim—"
One of his hands came up to her face, gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. The touch caused a shiver to her spine.
"I'm worried about you, Lucy—"
She was having trouble looking at him in the eyes, just like the night in his apartment. And when he gently lifted her head to make her look at him, she realized something.
He was feeling it too, right? He couldn't possibly be just her to feel this—whatever this was?
He started to lean down to her face, and she stopped the urge to take a step back.
Tim was going to kiss her. Why?
And then—a very loud song came from the purse she was clutching in her hand. Her phone.
It took her a second before she could move. Tim took a step back, dropping the hand that was on her cheek- and she immediately missed his warmth on her skin.
When she finally reached her phone and was about to take the call, she saw him stood there with his hands in his pockets, staring at her with a hard look on his face.
"Saved by the bell, Officer Chen."
She was about to say something when he turned and left her alone on the balcony.
Well, that went great.
As soon as she closed the call with her mother, she looked around to find Tim. If before she thought it was all in her head since he never gave her a reason to think otherwise- now it was different.
He was about to kiss her.
And not a peck on the cheek like a friend. A proper kiss.
And Tim wasn't somebody that did these kinds of things lightly.
Yet, she saw something in his eyes. Maybe- just maybe, it was the right time to find out what.
Decision made.
She took the mistletoe and after saying goodbye to most of the guests, she exited the house.
Tim was nowhere to be found. But he was still there- she hoped.
After maybe half an hour, she saw him coming down the dark street toward his car. She was leaning on a vehicle on the opposite side of the road, and he didn't even notice her.
She watched him took his keys from his pocket- before coming to a halt in front of his car door. She took a step behind him. He turned to her, revealing the piece of mistletoe hanging from his car window that she put there moments before.
She took another slow step to him.
Well, cards on the table. Not turning back now.
"I didn't want to be saved."
Saved by the bell. The implication of her words washed over his face, and he gripped his keys tighter in his hand before putting them in his pocket.
He turned fully to her.
"It didn't seem that way. You looked terrified."
Her brows furrowed. How dare he. She was terrified of nothing.
She took another step, raising her shoulders.
"You took me by surprise, that's all."
He smirked.
"It surprised you- really?"
That made her pause for a second. What was that supposed to mean?
She took the final step before coming to stand right in front of him. They were so close she had to tilt her head up to look at him.
"I have a theory, you know."
If he was confused by her change of subject, he didn't manifest it at all.
"I imagine you have many."
She smiled, before putting her hands lightly on his chest. It was the first real, intimate touch she ever allowed herself with him. She sensed his muscles contract under her hands, but he didn't move. She looked at him in the eyes.
"Will you shoot me if I kiss you?" She tried to sound sexy, or even just calm- but her voice came out soft, almost scared.
She saw him inhale sharply, and a wave of pride washed over her. The way she was affecting him made her courage rise a bit. His voice came out in a whisper.
"Maybe."
Of course. She smiled again.
"Well, I'll take my chances."
Before he could say anything else, she was standing on her toes, brushing her lips softly to his.
She felt a million emotions erupting inside of her.
She kissed him gently before realizing that he didn't move a muscle. His lips were soft against hers, but his hands were in his pockets, and he was still, against her.
And then the panic shot through her. Maybe she got it all wrong. And this was the single most terrible mistake of her life. She slowly eased herself down on her feet, leaning on his chest for support. Shame—what a horrible feeling.
She couldn't look at him. She couldn't cry. She couldn't do anything.
Before any more of these thoughts passed through her head, a hand was brushing a strand of hair away from her face, caressing her skin.
"Lucy- look at me." His voice was soft, but with a hint of darkness that made her raise her eyes to his.
And boy, now she was terrified. His eyes were dark. Blue turned black. Before she could do or say anything, he was kissing her again. This time, a real, passionate kiss.
One of his arms came around her to embrace her, plastering her body completely against his. The other hand was still on the side of her face, caressing her skin and her hair. He was gentle but demanding, and when he touched her lips with his tongue, she felt her knees buckled under her. He kept her up, turning her so that she was leaning against his car.
From the outside, they must've been quite the scene.
She knew it was a lot. One minute they're nothing more than co-workers, not even friends in the traditional term—and the second they are ravishing each other against his car outside a work party.
After what she thought was an eternity, they broke apart. Her eyes remained close, and she felt his forehead touch hers, his rapid breaths hot on her face. They stayed like that for a while, breathing each other air. Then, he pressed a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Luce-" her heart leaped again. He never called her that.
"I know."
They needed to talk.
He nodded against her hair. "We need to." She didn't know if he was saying it more to convince her or himself.
"Can we just- doing it tomorrow? I want this night- I just can't-"
What did she want? That this night never ended? That they never talked about it and just go with it, no matter the responsibility, job...
He must have understood her because he leaned back a little to look at her.
"Yeah- tomorrow."
She smiled at him, and he kissed her again on the forehead before taking a few steps back, helping her away from the car.
He squeezed her hands in his.
"Can I give you a ride home?"
"Yes."