Hi there. Back in 2019, all I tried to do was write a brief SilMil kiss scene. Somewhere along the way, I accidentally stumbled into a plot (and the longest thing I've ever written). Thanks to those who have stuck with me on this. I'm proposing my dissertation next week (eek!) and I really wanted to get this out before then, so I tried to pretend I was working on an exchange deadline and get this piece to "good enough". Needless to say, it is...difficult to write a dissertation and fic at the same time. Also, I'm craving feedback on this because sometimes writing it has made me want to crawl into a hole, so I would absolutely treasure any reviews.
A massive thanks, as always, to Kasienda. You're the best.
Thanks also to Nari20, who has now made not one, but two, pieces of beautiful fanart for this story.
And one more, somewhat odd, note. A few months ago, someone either favorited or followed this story, and, based on your screen name, I think I may know you in real life, from quite a few years ago. So, if you're still reading this, want to connect, and some combination of the acronym SPHE, international education, and "the French Fries" means something to you, don't hesitate to reach out. But also, no worries if you don't want to, because I get wanting to be semi-anonymous on the internet :).
5 Years
Part 3: Year 5
4 years ago
"They'll have arrived by now," Endymion noted as the twelfth bell tolled in the nearby courtyard. He was pleased to see the sunlight that filtered through the throne room's wide windows and streaked across the marble floors. It was a beautiful day, and the Golden Kingdom's natural splendor was on full display.
He fingered the royal medals pinned to his black dress uniform, ensuring they were straight, and smoothed the deep blue sash and gold embroidered aiguillette that decorated his shoulders.
He was going to make a good first impression this time.
King Endymion and three of his guardian generals stood in the Earth Palace throne room, waiting for Princess Serenity. Kunzite was to escort her and her guardian from the transportation platform to the throne room's closed doors, where she would be officially announced before entering.
This was the protocol followed every year for the royal audience between the sovereigns of the Earth and the Moon.
But this year was different.
"The Queen must be quite ill," Nephrite remarked from his place at Endymion's side, "It is unlike the Moon Kingdom to alter its traditions."
Endymion swallowed. He had thought the same. He had developed great fondness and affection for Queen Serenity over the years, for her wisdom and kindness. The news of her ill health filled him with anxiety, but he pushed it away.
Today was a second chance for him.
Despite Queen Serenity's instant forgiveness of his behavior during her first visit with Endymion, the shame still burned through him.
Today though, he would represent his kingdom as he should. He would treat Princess Serenity with the respect and reverence the Lunarian royals deserved; he would show that he was a serious man and not a petulant teenager.
A loud clang distracted him from his thoughts.
Jadeite had pulled two ceremonial swords from where they hung on the wall, tossed one to Zoisite, and the two were now horsing around in a mock sword fight.
Endymion smiled wryly at the sight before him. It would help if his generals didn't act like teenagers, either.
"Kunzite would have your head for that," Endymion called out, not unkindly, as Jadeite dodged a blow from Zoisite, laughing.
"Kunzite, as we all know," Zoisite replied breathlessly between clangs of metal on metal, "could stand to loosen up." With one more maneuver, Zoisite had Jadeite pinned on the ground, his sword aimed at the other man's throat. "Your Majesty," Zoisite proclaimed dramatically. "I have conquered the knave who dares interfere with the solemnity of such an occasion."
Jadeite rolled his eyes as he stood and pushed Zoisite's sword away with his gloved hand. "Lucky win. And interference with the solemnity of an occasion? I seem to recall you being the instigator of getting all of us, including Endymion, stumbling drunk before one recent royal ball. I don't think Kunzite has forgiven you yet."
Zoisite laughed as he hung the swords back on the wall. "The theme of needing to loosen up remains the same. Though the rest of you, including our dear king, are better suited to it than Kunzite is. I suspect he may be a lost cause."
They moved to stand next to Endymion and Nephrite. "Do you think she'll be like her mother?" Zoisite asked, retying the leather strap that held his mass of auburn curls in place behind his head.
"I don't know," Endymion replied honestly. "I don't know what to expect from her." Details about the heir to the most powerful position in the galaxy were shrouded in secrecy. When it came to the princess, Endymion's mind was a blank slate; the most important thing was to honor her and show that his kingdom was worthy of her time and counsel.
Trumpets sounded at the throne room doors, heralding Princess Serenity's arrival.
Endymion had to physically fight to keep his mouth from dropping as she entered the throne room.
He hadn't counted on the sheer goodness and mirth that danced behind the awe-inspiring power reflected in her sparkling, brilliant, blue eyes.
He hasn't counted on the radiant flush on her cheeks, how her endless hair was a soft, golden blond rather than her mother's untouchable silver, or the way her small, pink lips broadened into a dazzling smile that lit up her entire face.
He hadn't counted on the instant attraction that shot straight through him, frightening him with both its strength and the knowledge of exactly how forbidden it was.
As she approached, he dropped to his knees before her and took her hand, his pulse racing as he placed a gentle, reverent kiss on her signet ring.
Behind him, Zoisite and Jadeite exchanged a knowing smirk. At the same time, Nephrite locked eyes with Kunzite, who stood at the back of the throne room, his mouth firmly set in a thin, worried line.
Present Day
Endymion's jaw tensed as Beryl entered the Terran throne room, her long auburn hair waving around her like water, her violet dress nearly painted onto her skin. In her hand was a long silver staff capped by a red orb, its pulsating glow punctuating each of her steps as she approached.
Kunzite, Nephrite, Zoisite, and Jadeite flanked each side of the throne Endymion sat on, their backs ramrod-straight, their hands positioned at the hilts of their swords. They had been opposed to this meeting from the moment Endymion had received the request, arguing that it gave what was a minor rebel movement too much credibility and could put him in unnecessary danger.
Endymion had pushed back. The rebels needed to be faced head-on, and a good king needed to listen to all of his subjects.
Still, he worried. The fact that Beryl felt comfortable enough to come to the palace signified that the rebel movement might endanger the kingdom more than they had thought.
Beryl dropped into a curtsy in front of the throne. "Your Majesty," she murmured. She lifted her head, and Endymion barely swallowed his gasp. Her eyes, once a soft brown, now blazed red with contempt. Her dark lips curled into a smirk; a flash of fang-like teeth peeked out from behind them.
"Beryl." Endymion's voice boomed across the throne room. "Surely, you know the consequences of treason."
She smiled at him, her voice oily. "I hardly think it's treason for a concerned citizen to meet with the king. Is that not the mark of a civilized society?"
Endymion's eyes narrowed. "I am familiar with your propaganda, Beryl, and it's the furthest thing from civilized. I agreed to meet with you, but do not labor under the false impression that I support you or your movement. Now, tell me why you've come."
"Our demands are simple," Beryl replied smoothly. "Free the Golden Kingdom from tyrannical Lunarian surveillance. Rise up against them, and show them how strong we truly are without their interference."
"Surveillance?" Endymion snorted, clenching his fist in frustration. It wasn't the first time he had heard this misconception of the relationship between the two kingdoms. The Moon advised but never commanded. It protected but never smothered. "The Moon Kingdom prides itself on supporting us from afar, both physically and figuratively. Throughout our history, the only intelligence they have ever received is that which the Terran royal family has provided to them. They have guided us for centuries, have helped us prosper and flourish. We owe them much."
Beryl let out a hollow laugh that echoed against the blue and white marble columns that lined the expansive space. "I pity your naïveté, your Majesty. Your people crave independence. The Lunarians sit above us and watch our every move. They think themselves better than us, and the Earth has had enough of their oppression."
"Oppression?" Endymion growled. "Who gave you these absurd ideas? When have we ever been oppressed? Your supporters are blindly following you based on what you have falsely led them to believe!"
Beryl smirked. "Perhaps. Or perhaps I took advantage of sentiment that already existed. Either way, your people are ready to stand with the Terran royal army and rise up against the Moon."
White-hot anger exploded in Endymion's gut, blood pounding in his ears. Use the Terran army to invade the Moon? "I will not entertain this preposterous demand," he seethed, leaning forward and gripping the sides of the throne, his knuckles white. "Your words are grounds for arrest."
Beryl's eyes narrowed and flashed menacingly, and, before Endymion had time to react, a black web of electricity shot from her staff and crackled around his wrists, trapping him against his throne.
Endymion looked down at her in horror. "You witch," he bit out furiously, struggling uselessly against his bonds.
The generals drew their swords in instant, enraged unison as they sought to defend their king. With a scornful smile, Beryl shot another web of electricity from her staff that sizzled into a sphere of crackling energy that surrounded her and Endymion, effectively cutting him off from his guardians.
The generals' swords hissed as they swung them against the electric cage, but their efforts did nothing to penetrate the space. With a strangled cry, Zoisite rammed himself into the barrier, shoulder-first. His entire body sizzled with the same electricity that held Endymion hostage, and he howled in pain, but he didn't stop trying to push through.
Beryl turned from Endymion to Zoisite, her features tightening into a hard smile. "Your willingness to risk your life for your king is admirable. He is lucky to have such loyal guardians." Zoisite glared at her with hatred, and an uninterpretable smirk graced her lips as the glowing orb on her staff flashed and emitted a beam of red light directly into his eyes. His gaze turned blank, and his body went rigid before, with one more thrust of her staff, Beryl blasted him and the other generals across the throne room.
Bile burned at the back of Endymion's throat as Beryl turned back and sauntered up the dais closer to him. "Poor King of Earth," she hissed. "Not even your legendary shitennou can help you."
Endymion let out a pained gasp as Beryl roughly grasped his chin in her hand, her touch like ice, her nails digging into his skin. His panicked eyes darted around the room, desperate for some form of escape.
"There, there, Endymion," Beryl simpered, any pretense of propriety gone. You're making this so much harder for yourself than it has to be. You don't realize how many followers I have. How much they crave to see the Moon Kingdom fall."
Channeling all of his strength, Endymion strained to free himself, a thin sheen of sweat breaking out on his brow and a grunt of frustration tearing from his lips.
"You have a lot of fight in you, your Majesty." Beryl's voice dripped with derision. "Too bad it's not enough." She slowly traced a long finger down the side of his face with her free hand. "Just do as you're told. After all, it would be a shame if the king were the first casualty of this war".
"How dare you?" Endymion spat, a lock of hair falling over his eye as he shook with rage. "How dare you come into this palace and threaten your king?"
"King," Beryl scoffed, dropping his chin from her grasp in disgust. "You are no king of mine. Either you lead your army to stand with us against the Moon Kingdom, or we will destroy you along the way."
"It will be your blood over the blood of my soldiers, Beryl," Endymion warned in a low growl, his chest heaving with effort as he still pulled against his restraints.
"Perhaps." Beryl's lips curled into a sadistic smile. She slowly leaned down, her chilling breath against his ear, and whispered, "Or hers."
Endymion froze as terror flooded through him, his eyes widening as his vision blurred and his heart dropped into his stomach. His chest tightened, and he gasped, struggling to get enough oxygen in his lungs. No….
Beryl pulled away, a satisfied smirk gracing her features.
"So it's true, then," she snarled. "The rumors of your relationship with the Lunarian Queen. I have spies everywhere, you know, even in your palace. There have been rumblings of a growing affection between the two of you for years, but your defenders have always denied it. Now, imagine what your people will think when they realize their king is willing to put romance with the enemy above his own kingdom."
"No, Beryl…it's not…like that," Endymion sputtered. But the damage had been done.
"Lying has never been a strength of yours," Beryl sneered. "I'll take my leave of you now. You have one month to prepare your army to launch an invasion of the Moon. Think about it. We won't hesitate to rise up against you if you refuse." She turned and stepped down the dais. "Oh, and Endymion?" She turned back to him once more, her lips twisting into a grotesque smile. "Best wishes for Queen Serenity's upcoming visit."
Then Beryl vanished in a cloud of black smoke. Endymion's restraints instantly disappeared and left him slack against the throne, his heart thundering in his chest.
Endymion had never admitted his feelings for Serenity to anyone.
He had never admitted that he'd been smitten from the first moment she'd stepped into the Terran throne room, head held high, regal, commanding, strong, stunning.
At first, he had convinced himself it was just a passing attraction. Serenity was objectively beautiful. But each moment with her had taught him that it was infinitely more than that. He'd barely been able to control how strongly he'd recoiled at her suggestion of an arranged marriage with Beryl during her second visit. He was addicted to the excitement and fascination that shone in her eyes whenever he introduced her to Elysion's natural wonders. He'd treasured the opportunity to provide her with some semblance of comfort after her mother's passing. And in that moment, when she'd let her guard down, thrown herself into his arms, and allowed him to call her by her name, he'd known.
He was in love.
He was hopelessly in love with a woman he could never have.
He had never told anyone. It was too dangerous a secret, given the growing anti-Lunarian sentiment on Earth, the centuries of tradition that defined the relationship between the Earth and the Moon. But he had given himself permission to love her from afar. He had convinced himself that there was no threat in it, as long as he kept his feelings to himself and was content with one precious day each year.
He had fooled himself into thinking no one else would notice.
Now, Serenity was in danger because Endymion had handed over his most precious secret to the worst possible person he could have. In the one moment he needed to deny her the most, he hadn't been able to, and it could cost her everything. The thought made him almost physically ill.
"Endymion." His head shot up at Kunzite's voice as he rushed toward him. Kunzite's piercing gray gaze scanned Endymion from head to toe, a loyal guardian checking for injuries. The others stood in front of Endymion, heads bowed in shame, but otherwise, seemingly unscathed. Irritation bubbled up within him at the fawning over him and their formality. He was fine.
But he needed a plan. A plan to protect his kingdom and his people. A plan to protect the Moon. A plan to protect her.
"Enough of that." Endymion stood and placed a hand on Kunzite's shoulder. "I am unharmed...and...I need my brothers for what is to happen now." He felt some semblance of comfort wash over him. These men were his closest friends and confidants. They had gotten him through every other difficult situation he'd faced as king.
Endymion began describing his exchange with Beryl, his fists involuntarily clenching at his sides as he recounted the scene. He was just barely able to keep his tone even and emotionless as he explained Beryl's threat on Serenity's life, when Nephrite softly interjected. "She knows of your feelings for the Queen?"
Endymion stiffened, and his eyes moved from Nephrite's steady brown gaze to Jadeite's tightly-crossed arms to Zoisite's suggestive smirk.
They knew. Every one of them knew.
Kunzite gave him a small, worried frown. "Did you truly think we would not notice? We know you better than anyone. You light up when she's here. You don't come down from that high for days after she leaves, until your melancholy sinks in when you realize it will be another year before you see her again." Kunzite bit his lip the way he always did before telling Endymion something he didn't want to hear. "You know we care for you, but…"
Kunzite didn't have to continue. The shame rose up in Endymion as he mentally finished Kunzite's sentence for him. But who was he to have feelings for the most powerful woman in the universe? He was not allowed to love her.
"It seems you are not the only ones I have been unable to hide my true feelings from." Endymion's voice was laced with bitterness and anger at himself, but there was no use in denying how he felt. Not now. "Beryl has spies in the palace."
Kunzite's eyes narrowed. "Spies?" he glowered. "For the rebellion?"
Endymion nodded. "That's how she knew…" he swallowed, unaccustomed to talking about this aloud. "That's how she knew to use Serenity against me." He pointedly ignored the looks of pity on his generals' faces and cleared his throat, attempting to set his feelings aside. "We need a plan," he asserted. "And, given that we know we have infiltration here, this conversation needs to be kept between us."
He scraped a hand through his hair, trying to focus on how to mitigate any one of the horrible scenarios that flashed through his mind. "The first thing. We need to do something about Queen Serenity's visit that is scheduled for two weeks from now. We need to-"
"I don't understand why you don't just tell her about Beryl," Jadeite interrupted, scowling. "Isn't that the point of this whole relationship between the Earth and the Moon? For her to advise you in times like these? What good is this stupid tradition if she cannot help you when you need it most?"
"Jadeite!" Kunzite barked.
Endymion ignored Kunzite and shook his head. "I know her. I know that if I tell her that Earth is in danger, she will immediately assist, without any concern for her own safety. But it is too dangerous. Beryl threatened her specifically." His gaze fell to the marble floor. "And...I know. I know I should report this to her at once," he admitted. "But," his beseeching, desperate eyes met Jadeite's. "I cannot bear it if she gets hurt because of me, because of my foolishness. Please. I want to take care of this without getting her involved. And I know we can. I have faith in our kingdom."
"I have faith in our kingdom, too," Nephrite echoed, and Endymion shot him a small, grateful smile. "But Beryl's ability to harness magic is a...complication."
Nephrite's point was valid. The Golden Kingdom had some magic, the kind that enchanted weather and allowed for interplanetary communication. But it had nothing like the power Beryl had shown. Endymion shared a glance with Kunzite. There were rumors passed down through the Terran royal family and their sworn guardians, whispers of a legendary crystal whose power could be harnessed by a chosen Terran sovereign. But, the crystal had never revealed itself, and Endymion wasn't even sure he believed it existed.
They would have to take Beryl on by sheer force.
"We will have to rely on strength in numbers," Endymion said. He began to pace across the throne room. "We'll start mobilizing the army to launch an attack on the rebel base in the North, to catch them by surprise and get them before they get to us. It appears that Beryl's power is concentrated in her staff. Between the five of us, we can disarm her and defeat her. In the meantime, we need to reinforce security in and around the palace." He swallowed hard. "And we need to find a way to cancel Queen Serenity's visit without arousing any suspicion."
"The formal invitation is set to arrive on your desk for your seal tomorrow morning," Jadeite reported, his brow furrowed. "Perhaps...a note. A handwritten note from you, slipped into the envelope. Tell her something...innocuous has come up at the last minute. Something that will make it difficult to properly host her, and propose an alternative date, well after Beryl's ultimatum has passed. Then one of us, instead of palace staff, will ensure it is delivered to the Queen."
Zoisite took a deep, shaky breath as he splashed some cold water on his face. Gripping both sides of the wash basin, he stared at his reflection above him. He was lucky that none of them had commented on his uncharacteristic silence in the throne room just now.
A headache pounded behind his eyes. Something had happened to him when Beryl attacked him, something he couldn't describe. It was as if he were slowly losing a part of himself.
Listening to Endymion speak, watching him as he paced and planned, thoughts had come unbidden to Zoisite's mind.
He is powerless, a fool for thinking we can defeat Beryl.
He is under that Lunarian enchantress' spell.
The Moon Kingdom needs to be destroyed.
No. Zoisite inhaled sharply, his nostrils flaring. He was unquestionably loyal to Endymion. He lived to protect him. He was strong; he would not fall prey to these…mind games.
Yet he couldn't erase the image of Endymion, devotion to Queen Serenity shining in his eyes, as he made plans to send the Terran Army into battle that would likely spell death for many of them.
In that moment, he had felt something he never expected to feel toward his king: hate.
Somewhere in the North, a hollow cackle echoed against cold, dark walls.
The plan had been set in motion.
Endymion sat at his desk in his chambers, the roaring fireplace casting shadows on the mahogany-paneled walls.
He reached for his quill, the steady, confident sound of the instrument scratching against the parchment belying the tremble in his hand.
Your Majesty,
It is with the utmost respect that I write to inform you that I must postpone our annual audience. Due to unforeseen circumstances, the Golden Kingdom will be unable to receive you with the proper level of honor and care required at the previously-scheduled date. Below, I propose three alternative dates for you to select from. I send my personal apologies for any inconvenience that this may cause you, and I look forward to continuing our historic tradition at a later date.
Endymion scanned what he'd written, and fresh frustration bloomed in his chest at the centuries of tradition that dictated the limited ways he could contact her, at the formality of it all. Nothing in his note hinted at the tender moments they had shared over the years, the way her smile sent his stomach into somersaults, his desperate desire to protect her.
But it would keep her away. Away from Earth, away from the rebels, away from Beryl and her thirst for blood.
And that would hopefully be enough.
The prior year, Serenity had written the announcement that was sent to all eligible suitors in the Silver Alliance herself. In her message, she made it clear that she sought a mutually beneficial marriage of state and nothing else. The day it had been sent out, Serenity muttered an excuse from dinner and barely made it back to her chambers before she collapsed against her door, violent sobs wracking her body.
As time passed, the searing pain that had taken up residence in her heart subsided into a deadened, constant ache. It faded sometimes, as it was in her nature to still find happiness in the smallest things. Sometimes it even faded at the balls held in her honor, grand affairs with beautiful music and trays upon trays of her favorite delicacies. Serenity loved people, and she even found many of the men at these balls to be enjoyable company she could dance and laugh with.
But then there were the moments that lit that ache back into a twisting, all-consuming inferno.
The moment she'd locked eyes with Sailor Uranus in a senshi meeting, the first time they'd seen each other since their conversation the year prior, when Serenity had to tear her gaze away because she could not bear the pity she saw there.
The moment she'd realized Endymion likely did not even know, as Earth was not privy to the goings-on in the Silver Alliance. She would have to tell him herself on her next visit.
The moment a potential suitor had tenderly placed a hand on hers in the royal gardens, his soft eyes the color of warm chocolate, and whispered a confession about his growing feelings for her.
Now, Serenity's stomach flipped as a thick, cream-colored envelope appeared, as it did every year, on the silver tray on her desk in a shimmer of golden magic. It had been the same standard ceremonial invitation every year for centuries: the reigning monarch of Earth inviting the reigning monarch of the Moon for a visit to seek her counsel.
Serenity's heart thudded despite herself as she reached for her letter opener. She ran her hand over the thick seal and closed her eyes, imagining Endymion's elegant fingers pressing his ring into the hot wax, his dark hair falling over his eyes.
Despite everything, she still wanted to see him. She still wanted to hear the warmth in his voice as he said her name, have him show her more of his planet's wonders, spend another precious day with him even though he could never be hers.
She swallowed hard and sliced the envelope open, knitting her brows in confusion as a folded piece of parchment fell from it and fluttered into her lap.
"You have done well," a seductive, disembodied voice purred.
Kunzite froze at the partially-open door to Zoisite's chambers, his muscles going numb at the sight before him. Zoisite knelt in front of something, his eyes closed and his head bowed in deference.
"Thank you, my Queen," Zoisite murmured. "They suspect nothing. Endymion and the others are still certain of the Terran army's loyalty and are moving forward with their plans to attack in the North."
"Very well. You will be rewarded handsomely as a lord of the Dark Kingdom."
"I live to serve you, my Queen." Zoisite stood as a burst of light flashed throughout the room, gone as quickly as it had come.
His mind reeling, Kunzite's fists clenched at his sides as his blood boiled with rage. He gripped the sword at his side, trembling as he attempted to focus on his ultimate responsibility.
His ultimate responsibility was to protect Endymion. And to swallow whatever betrayal he felt.
"Zoisite!" he bellowed, kicking the door fully open, prepared to fight the man he had always considered a brother. Kunzite's voice almost broke as he drew his sword. "How could you?"
Zoisite turned, and Kunzite gasped as their eyes met. This wasn't the man Kunzite knew. Gone were Zoisite's mirthful gaze and winning smile, his playful demeanor and mischievous laugh. Instead, his green eyes blazed with hatred, and his lips curled into an angry, bitter sneer.
"How could I?" Zoisite responded in a chilled whisper. "How could you, Kunzite? You are so blinded by loyalty to the king that you cannot see what is right in front of you. Our people have had enough of the Moon's rule, enough of their dark magic."
"You have been poisoned against them," Kunzite growled. "You know Endymion. You know his heart. You know how much he cares for his people."
Zoisite let out a harsh laugh. "Let us not pretend you are doing this for Endymion. You are just like him, intoxicated and blinded by one of those foreign beings. I know you would put her above our people the same way Endymion put the Moon temptress above us all. That is why the relationship between our kingdoms needs to be destroyed. As Beryl told your king, we are prepared to fight."
"He is your king, too, Zoisite," Kunzite hissed, fury churning in his gut.
"Not anymore. My army and I fight for someone else."
"Your army?"
"Kunzite, you are usually more astute than this. Yes, my regiment of the Terran army. They have all renounced Endymion and sworn loyalty to Beryl."
"That's treason!" Kunzite roared, raising his sword and charging toward Zoisite, who, to his shock, disappeared in a burst of pink rose petals, leaving nothing behind but a shrill, ominous cackle that echoed against the room's stone walls.
Serenity drew her legs up onto the iron bench on her balcony and rested her head on her knees. Earth hung in the starry stillness before her, a magnificent blue jewel that burst forth from the darkness all around it.
She was meant to be there just a day ago, on that beautiful planet with its soft breezes and warm sunlight and bold, brilliant colors. She was meant to be on the planet she'd fallen in love with in the company of the man she'd fallen in love with at the same time.
It should have been fine. What was another month or two when you could only see each other once a year? But she'd cried when she'd read Endymion's note. Her senshi, knowing her as well as they did, had spent the day before distracting her with a picnic on the silver plains of Mare Serenitatis, and her schedule had been packed with meetings and other commitments today.
But now, when she finally had a moment to herself, her chest was heavy with longing.
"Endymion," she whispered. "I wish I could see you right now."
Her eyes were closed, so she didn't see the small streaks of glittery, silver light that swirled and swept around the hem of her dress and traveled up and all around her body. It wasn't until an intense, powerful rush of energy bloomed in her chest that she gasped and her eyes shot open before she disappeared in a dazzling flash of light.
Serenity let out an unladylike grunt as she stumbled over her skirts and fell to the ground in a heap. She winced, rubbing her back as she stood, but the immediate heaviness she felt pressing down on her distracted her from the pain and drew a hushed gasp from her lips.
She knew this feeling.
A flickering fireplace cast a soft, warm glow on the dark, wood-paneled walls of the expansive, ornately-decorated space she found herself in. Her eyes flew from the vase of blood-red roses on a nearby table to the intricately-carved golden crest of Terra that hung on the wall of the empty room.
Remembering her whispered words on the balcony, Serenity sucked in her breath.
Traditionally, Lunarian queens have years to train with the Silver Crystal before assuming the throne. After Serenity's mother's death, Luna had continued the training as best she could, but Serenity knew she had yet to uncover many of the powerful stone's secrets. However, she did remember the most important thing her mother had told her about the Crystal-that, above all else, it would follow her heart.
Her heart and her Crystal had taken her to King Endymion's chambers.
Hypnotized, she slowly approached two paintings on the wall opposite her and raised a finger to touch the face of the young boy in one of them, unruly dark hair falling over his forehead, his blue eyes unmistakable. A bearded man, a crown perched upon his auburn hair, towered over him and rested a protective hand on his shoulder. The former Terran king. Endymion's father.
The other painting was of a pale woman in a vibrant red gown, her jet black hair pulled into braids that wove around the crown of her head and framed her face. She sat on the edge of the same stone fountain Endymion had comforted Serenity on all those years ago, a small smile on her lips. Serenity's heart twisted wistfully at the familiarity of her deep, kind gaze.
She turned from the paintings and passed under an arched opening in the wall into a dimly-lit stone enclave. A blush burned her cheeks and her mouth went dry at the sight of a large bed canopied by sapphire velvet. The enclave even smelled like him - that unique, spicy, intoxicating scent that Serenity hungered to lose herself in.
She swallowed hard and turned back the way she had come, stopping at the wooden bookshelves that framed each side of the Terran royal crest. The shelves were filled with books on every possible subject: history, science, philosophy. There were famous novels and tomes of poetry, thick leather-bound books from all the reaches of the galaxy.
Endymion, unlike Serenity, was clearly a voracious reader. Serenity read the important texts that she had to as Queen, but secretly preferred the glitzy Venusian romances she'd been sneaking under more respectable reading since she was a girl.
Her brows knit in curiosity as she noticed one shelf in particular. It was filled with Lunarian volumes-primers on Lunarian language and culture, historical accounts of the Moon Kingdom, and, most intriguingly, a book on the Lunarian royal family that Serenity had never seen before.
Just as she reached for it, she emitted a little cry of surprise at the familiar, shocked voice that came from behind her.
"Serenity?" She whirled around to find herself face-to-face with Endymion. She hadn't seen him since she'd committed to denying her heart for the good of her kingdom. Her eyes flitted from the taut black fabric of his tunic that clung to his chest to the hint of dark stubble on his cheeks, his ragged breathing the only sound between them.
The ache in her heart twisted and screamed as if she'd doused it with alcohol.
"I'm sorry," Serenity offered, unsure of how else to break the silence. "I know you did not want to see me."
A flash of something like incredulity passed across Endymion's face and, in an instant, he closed the distance between them and pulled Serenity to him in a hug. "Never," he swore. "I could never not want to see you." Serenity sighed into his embrace and rested her head on his chest. It was improper for them to share such intimate words and gestures, but she didn't care. It was worth it, just to feel his strong arms around her, to be engulfed by his warmth.
But something was wrong. Endymion clung to Serenity almost desperately, his body trembling. Alarmed, Serenity pulled back from him. "Endymion?" His eyes were squeezed tightly shut, and Serenity lifted her palm to cup his cheek. "What is it?"
"I've failed you. I've failed you in the worst way," he whispered, his voice absolutely wrecked. He opened his eyes, a storm of emotions crashing in midnight blue. "I tried...I tried to protect my planet...tried to protect you...but then...Zoisite…" The raw anguish in his voice as he said his general's name was unmistakable, and it both broke Serenity's heart and filled her with dread.
She took Endymion's hand and led him to sit with her on the plush divan behind them. Then, just as he had done for her just years ago, she gently placed her hands on his. "Please, tell me," she coaxed. "Tell me what's happening."
Tell me what's happening.
Serenity's words echoed in Endymion's mind. Tell her? Where would he even begin?
He'd spent the prior day on edge, despite having received her response accepting the rescheduled visit, despite the extra guards placed at each entrance to the palace.
But Beryl had not come.
He had felt some semblance of relief then. Serenity was safe. They were moving forward with the plan to attack and disarm Beryl before she attacked them, before she attacked the Moon. Everything was going according to plan.
But then, just now, Kunzite had found him in the grand hall. Alarmed at seeing his characteristically stoic general white-faced and struggling to keep his voice steady, Endymion's heart had sunk with dread before Kunzite delivered the news that shattered him.
Endymion had entered his chambers in a sort of trance, trying to process Kunzite's words, and was astonished to see Serenity standing at his bookshelves. Somehow, his heart had leapt in relief at seeing her at the same time he had dreaded what he knew he had to say.
How could he tell her that it was his fault that both of their kingdoms were in jeopardy? How could he admit he'd been such a fool?
Endymion met Serenity's eyes, and, not for the first time, found himself in awe of the compassion reflected there. He owed her the truth. As much as it killed him, as much as it shamed him, she needed to know.
He took a deep breath and told her everything. Beryl's visit and her ultimatum. How the rebels threatened not just the Earth, but the Moon. How he and his generals had been preparing an attack to preemptively defeat Beryl and her followers. Zoisite's betrayal and the fact that at least a fourth of the Terran army had defected. How he knew he should have told her everything the minute Beryl had left , but he'd thought he could handle everything without putting Serenity in danger.
She listened intently, quietly as he spoke. He'd expected her to ask questions, press for explanations, anything, but her only reaction was a sharp intake of breath and a tight squeeze of his hand when he described Zoisite's betrayal.
It was unnerving, as if she'd made her mind up about something the minute Endymion had begun speaking. And then she spoke the words that pierced his gut with fear.
"The Moon Kingdom is with you in this battle, King Endymion. Our army stands in solidarity with yours. We will fight with you. I will fight with you."
"No!" he cried out, his eyes flying to hers. Her commanding tone and use of his title were not lost on him. Serenity's statement was an official Lunarian declaration of war against the Terran rebels.
"Endymion," Serenity said, her voice stern, but not unkind. "What is the Moon's role in its relationship with Earth?"
"To advise," he replied, feeling like a child. "To help."
Serenity nodded. "And to protect. Let me protect you. Let me protect your people."
Endymion opened his mouth to protest, but Serenity cut him off. "We will resolve this, Endymion. It is our duty as your sworn guardians." The steel will and immense power of thousands of years of Lunarian monarchs shone in Serenity's gaze. Fighting her decision would be futile.
They were entering this war together.
Serenity let out an exhausted sigh as she closed her bedroom door behind her. Preparations for war had been in full force since her arrival back on the Moon. Her days were now a blur of audiences with the Lunarian army and tactical strategizing with Venus and the others.
Tomorrow, she would travel to Earth with the senshi and the Lunarian army. They would present a united front with those who hadn't defected from the Terran one and work together to defeat Beryl and the rebels.
Serenity did not doubt that she'd made the right decision. They were the sworn protectors of Earth and, if the Terran Kingdom was in danger, it was their duty to help. She needed to protect Earth, and she needed to protect her own kingdom as well.
But a constant dread kept her awake at night. Every time she met with a young Lunarian soldier, their eyes bright, eager to fight for their kingdom, Serenity was filled with terror that she was possibly sending them to their death.
She also ached for Endymion.
Whereas before, tradition dictated that they could only speak once a year, they now communicated via large telescreens almost daily. But they were always surrounded by her senshi or his remaining generals, their conversations stilted and formal. There was never any hint of the relationship that had formed between them, the tender touches and words they'd shared
She hated it.
She needed to see him smile. She needed his warmth, his gentleness; his tender, steady touch.
Not thinking twice, the Moon Queen closed her eyes and disappeared in a dazzling flash of light.
Serenity collided with something both soft and solid. She braced herself for a fall, but it never came. Her eyes snapped open, and she sucked in a breath. Endymion's shocked face was a hair's breadth before her. It was his arms that had caught her, his arms that steadied her now.
They stood in a craggy stone cavern, moonlight and a gentle breeze filtering in through jagged holes in the ceiling. Curls of steam rose lazily from pools of all different sizes, some smooth as glass, some rippling from gurgling bubbles of water in their center. An archway behind Endymion led to a twisting, stone staircase lit by flickering torchlight. An unfamiliar, yet somehow calming, roar sounded in the distance.
Endymion had bags under his eyes that Serenity knew matched her own, and he was still gripping onto her even though she had regained her balance. He hadn't spoken yet.
"I…," Serenity began. "I wanted to see you." Her lips curved into a nervous smile. "The real you. Not...the one on the screens. Before..." she trailed off. Before she had to come back tomorrow and pretend that her heart did not belong to him.
"I wanted to see you, too." His rich baritone echoed throughout the cavern, and Serenity's heart skipped at the sincerity in his voice.
She looked from the loosely unfastened top of Endymion's tunic to the silk robe that hung on a hook on the wall behind them. "Oh...I've interrupted you."
Endymion shook his head. "Come with me? I wish to show you something." There was a comfortable, quiet understanding between the two of them. They had done everything possible to prepare for the upcoming war, and while thoughts of it were at the forefront of both of their minds, that wasn't why Serenity had come.
Serenity followed Endymion past all of the cavern's pools to an iron gate, and Serenity furrowed her brow at the unfamiliar, distant roar that grew louder as Endymion unlocked the gate and pushed it open.
They stepped outside into the night, bright stars twinkling in the deep, dark sky above them. The first thing Serenity was aware of was the change in the ground underfoot. Endymion had shown her winter snow and fresh spring grass, but this was a thick, soft powder that lightly blew around Serenity's feet. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she was able to make out that the same substance they walked on formed a tall mound-a barrier that blocked anything beyond it from view. Patches of grass and tall, thin plants staked their claim on different parts of the mound and fluttered in the breeze.
The air was somehow different, too-a sort of tanginess that filled her nostrils and playfully reached out to whip her hair around her. Serenity was accustomed to one terrain, one temperature, one stillness. What would it be like to be Terran - to not only know, but to take for granted that the sky could be a different color each day, that you could experience different worlds without ever leaving the same planet?
A surge of protectiveness rose up in her. This planet was a treasure.
Serenity stumbled as they continued walking toward the mound, the unfamiliar terrain proving difficult to walk in.
"It's a little easier to walk in the sand if you take your shoes off," Endymion offered, smiling at her and reaching down to unbuckle his boots and toss them to the side. Serenity slipped off her own shoes.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, giggling as what felt like small, smooth grains of glass tickled her toes, her bare feet sinking into soft coolness. Sand.
They approached the mound, and without a word, Endymion reached his hand out to her. Serenity took it, trying to ignore the way her heart pounded in her chest as he laced his fingers through hers. The hugs they'd shared before, while too intimate a gesture to be done in public, could have passed as hugs between two close friends. He'd taken her hand before, but only ever in the prescribed way that royal protocol allowed for.
This was different.
He now held her hand like a lover would.
They trekked over the mound while the sand continued to tickle the soles of her feet, and Serenity gasped at the sight before them. The sand continued into a wide, flat swath that stretched endlessly on both sides of where they stood. Beyond it was an expanse of navy blue, like a blanket that covered the ground and rippled over it, shimmering from the light of the Moon and the stars above it.
The ocean.
"Oh! It's!" She pointed to the water, to a spot that began to speed up and roll over itself, unsure of the words to describe what she was seeing. Her excitement took over, and she took off in a run toward the water, her shirts hitched up around her, leaving a startled Endymion behind.
Serenity's eyes widened in delight as she watched the water crash over itself, the white foam unlike anything she had ever seen before, the source of the roar she'd been hearing suddenly clear.
Endymion came up behind her. "Do you like it?"
She whirled to face him, grinning. "Like it? It is a wonder." Of course, Serenity knew about the ocean. She knew that it provided Earth with the deep blue color she was so fond of staring at from above, the color that matched Endymion's eyes. But she never, not even in her wildest imagination, could have known what it felt like. The salty air in her nose. The shimmering stars that painted the black canvas sky above then. The lulling, somehow calming, sound of the crashing waves.
And, just for a moment. Serenity could forget. She could forget that they were about to go to war, that she stood here with the only man she had ever wanted, but could never have.
Instead, a strange peace filled her.
"Can we…" Serenity began, her eyes meeting Endymion's. "Can we...go in?" She wasn't sure how to phrase it. She had only ever swum in the Moon's artificial pools, which were almost too-perfectly pristine with their sleek waterfalls and silver and white marble surfaces. She had never swum in anything that felt so...alive.
"As you wish, your Majesty," Endymion grinned at her, a light tease in his voice. He began to fully unfasten his tunic, and Serenity swallowed the lump in her throat as he tossed it in the sand and stood before her in just his breeches, the smooth, tan skin of his chest exposed to her.
Following his lead, Serenity pulled her dress over her head and let it float to the sand below. She moved to pull her thin silk and lace slip off as well, concluding that it would be easiest to swim without being weighed down by undergarments, but a sharp intake of breath from Endymion stopped her.
He had averted his eyes, his cheeks ablaze.
That's right, Serenity remembered. Terrans were strange about female nudity. Serenity gave him a reassuring smile to indicate that she wouldn't undress any further.
He took her hand again and slowly led her into the water, rays of moonlight shining on it from above. A giggle escaped her as the cool water swirled around her feet, and she curled her toes in the wet sand, excited by the unfamiliar sensations, the way the spritz of water from the crashing waves tickled her skin as they went deeper.
But a rush of nerves hit her as the water reached her waist and another wave began to form in front of them, this one nearly taller than her. "Endymion! How do I…" her question was cut off by her own shriek as Endymion lifted her by the waist and guided her to jump over the wave.
It felt like flying.
"Like that," he murmured, his eyes dancing with amusement.
Soon, the crashing waves were behind them, the water reaching Endymion's waist and Serenity's chest. Serenity closed her eyes and leaned back, luxuriating in the feel of the water, her long pigtails floating around her. The ocean stretched out endlessly before them. She marveled out how, even here, right now, in one of Earth's most quiet corners, there was more life and more variety than there was anywhere on the Moon.
"It's wonderful, Endymion," she sighed. "I would struggle to leave this place."
"My great-great grandfather felt the same," Endymion replied. "He had this secret tunnel from the palace built so he could visit the ocean whenever he wanted. It has been said that he would often come here to clear his mind and reflect on his decisions." He looked wistfully at the Terran Palace, an imposing structure of towers and turrets set on a rocky cliff beyond the sand dune they had walked over earlier. "What a disappointment I must be to his legacy."
Serenity shot up from the water. "How could you say such a thing?" She couldn't bear to hear him speak ill of himself.
"My kingdom is in peril because of my own foolishness. I have failed my family, my people...and I have failed you."
She swam up to him so they were face-to-face. Endymion's eyes swirled with shame and self-loathing. "Endymion," Serenity began sternly. "In the time I have known you, I have never once doubted that you have the best interests of your kingdom at the forefront of your mind. Has everything been perfect? No. But Beryl's brainwashing of her followers, her bloodlust, her extremism-the fault for that does not lie with you."
She reached her hand up so it rested on his bare, wet shoulder, steeling herself against the pleasant shudder that shot through her body at the feel of his skin. "Promise me," she implored. "Promise me that you will forgive yourself."
Endymion looked down, and Serenity followed his gaze to her own fingers that had begun absently tracing a pattern on his shoulder. Embarrassed, she forced herself to pull her hand away and almost groaned at the loss of contact. "Promise me," she repeated.
Endymion swallowed. "I promise I shall try."
"Besides," Serenity whispered. "I am the one who has failed you."
Endymion met her gaze, his eyes serious. "You could never fail me, Serenity."
"There were whispers around the Moon when I first became Queen," Serenity admitted. "Many thought I was too young, too inexperienced. And, after advising you for five years, we face war because of my inadequate counsel. Perhaps they were right all along. I have tried to be like my mother, like my ancestors, like the unyielding Crystal that runs through my veins, but...I am not. I have always tried to put my kingdom first, above myself, above my own heart. I even…"
She stopped herself, unsure of how she had arrived at this topic. Preparations for war on Earth had paused the visits from potential suitors, but the pain of it was always on the periphery of her mind.
"You even?" Endymion prompted, and Serenity shivered at the intensity of his stare.
A sudden, harsh tug from the water caught Serenity by surprise, and she cried out as it pulled her under. A harsh roar filled her ears as she thrashed around in the hot and cold swirl of ocean water.
Almost immediately, his arms were around her, strong and steady, lifting her back to the surface before she had even tried to take a breath. His alarmed gaze scanned every inch of her. It had just been a moment and, as the brief fear that had gripped her heart subsided, something else began.
Endymion's wet bangs were plastered to his forehead, and tiny water droplets dripped from his hair and his eyelashes and ran in rivulets down his face and bare chest. Serenity sucked in her breath. He really was disarmingly handsome.
"I'm sorry. I should have warned you about the undertow. Are you all right?"
Her heart expanded in her chest at the tenderness in his voice, the way he ran a comforting hand up and down her back. His hands were soft and strong through her slip and made her skin crackle with want. She nodded before glancing at the palace in the distance. Tomorrow, she would arrive here in full battle regalia. She and Endymion would address each other formally, two distant, respectful monarchs.
It would be like this moment and all the ones they had shared in years past, all of Serenity's most precious, treasured, tender memories had never happened.
And it was possible they would die.
That did it.
It was unwise, reckless even, to confess her feelings now. Her love for him was forbidden; it could never be. It was a dangerous complication in the war they were both about to face.
But she couldn't bear to go to the grave without knowing if...
Serenity raised her palm to lay flat on Endmyion's chest. He let out a shaky, shuddering breath, his eyes closing, as she made contact with his bare skin. His heart hammered under her palm.
Serenity looked up at him, exhaling, barely daring to hope.
"I've always put my kingdom above even my feelings for you," she whispered.
"Your feelings for me?" Endymion's voice was hoarse as he opened his eyes, his midnight gaze piercing straight through her.
Serenity nodded, her eyes damp with the tears she had shed for him before, the tears she was sure to shed if she were to lose him. Her heart was heavy with the knowledge that her admission was a betrayal of her kingdom and her birthright.
But finally, it was clear: not confessing would be a betrayal of herself.
"I cannot face the possibility of losing you without ever having told you..."
"Neither can I." Endymion's words barely had the time to tumble out in a rushed, breathless, relieved heap before Serenity launched herself from the water to crash her lips to his.
He was somehow all around her at once, his lips frantic and trembling on hers; the heat of his hands roaming over her body searing her skin through her thin, wet slip; his spicy, rich, earthy scent overloading her senses.
She wanted more of him, needed to touch and stroke and explore more of what had been forbidden to her for so long. She dragged her teeth across his lower lip, drawing a groan from him as he parted his lips to give her tongue better access, his arms pulling her impossibly closer to him as he returned her onslaught in kind.
Whimpering, she arched her body against his and fisted her hands in his hair as he leaned down and peppered her flesh with hot, wet, demanding kisses, the cool ocean water lapping all around them. "Endymion," she moaned, dizzy from the pleasant ache between her legs and the certainty that there was no one else for her.
There would never be anyone else for her.
He pulled his head away gently and cupped his palm to her face, their ragged breathing and the crashing waves in the distance the only sound between them.
"Don't let go of me," Serenity whispered breathlessly.
"I won't."
And then his lips were back on hers.
The fifth year, she gave in.
Just an epilogue to go (I think). And seriously, I would love to hear from you in a review or on Tumblr (tinacentury. tumblr. com) if you did.