New Beginnings
It was a lovely warm day as I wheeled my suitcase out to the car and handed it to my step-dad Patrick.
"Let's go you guys, the plane will leave without us" called Pat back into he house where my younger sister and my mother were still fluffing around.
"Gabi! We've GOT to go!" I yelled into the house as Pat closed the boot and I made my way to the back door of the car.
"I know, I know, I'm coming!" cried Gabi as she came out leading our blubbering mother Marileene down the front steps and out to the car.
"You don't have to do this Becka, Gabi! We can FORGET this, you can come with us instead of going to Forks, you don't even have to go ANYWHERE- we can stay here." said Mum cuddling us both as we helped her into the car.
Gabi was still crying, her eyes were badly bloodshot and her skin a puffy pink colour, I had surprisingly managed to keep myself under control and was planning to "let loose" that night in bed.
"We'd better go Mummy, come on it will be over soon!" said Gabi attempting to convince herself and our Mum at the same time.
"She's right Renee (Pat's nickname for her) you ALL need this, and the girls will get bored with all the soccer stuff, we'll never have time together as a family, I think only Gabi would get a kick out of the soccer." Gabi and I helped Mum into the front seat, we jumped back as the car turned over and Pat put it into reverse.
Gabi sniggered at Pat's pun and I rolled my eyes now standing back so we could close Mum's door before Gabi and I got into the car and Pat reversed out the driveway. The car was quiet for a while.
"You know what? You're right but that doesn't mean that my offer about coming home as soon as you need me doesn't still stand." Mum said breaking the silence as we hit the free-way.
"Did you grab my mp3 Becks?" asked Gabi as I went to put my headphones in my ears.
"Yeah, check my bag figured you'd need it!" I replied as I rubbed her back.
Gabi had been the worst about this whole thing, she didn't want to leave as her and Ben split up about a week before we told both him; and Tai who funnily enough was my ex-boyfriend of three years.
Tai took it better than I thought, advising me it was a good chance for a fresh start and even though he would miss me he would keep in touch as much as he could.
Ben had been a little more difficult but accepted it on the condition that he and Tai could visit in the summer break, naturally the only way we could leave was to agree to this no matter how much we didn't like it.
"Thanks Hun, what would I do without you?" she said as more tears welled up in her eyes. Smiling slightly, I reached over and hugged my sister forcing myself in the process not to start crying too.
"You know we are VERY proud of you girls for doing this!" said Mum turning around to smile at us both with yet more tears welling up in her eyes.
"Relax mum, we'll be fine!" I said smiling and reaching forward to pat her arm.
"I know you will Becka, that's exactly what worries me. I feel that you girls are leaving me forever! Even though forever is a long-time for some reason this feels like one of the last times I'll see you two together, happy, like you are now." she said grabbing my hand and squeezing it tight.
"Nonsense Mum, stop talking like that!" Gabi snapped rather too fiercely.
That comment causing the whole car to go silent as we turned off the highway and onto the airport road and stayed that way for the remainder of the journey.
"Well, here we are ladies! Make sure you call us when you reach your Dads please!" Patrick reminded us as he helped Gabi and I get our suitcases out about 20 minutes later.
"We will and thanks a lot for everything Pat, we're so glad Mum'sgot you!" I said as I hugged him goodbye before turning to Mum.
"You're right Becka, but that goes both ways!" said Pat now grabbing Mum so she couldn't keep Gabi in a hug as we only had ten minutes to make our plane.
"We'd better go Becks!" Gabi got out, sniffing as she took her suitcase and my arm.
"Yeah, ok!" I said reluctantly allowing her to lead me towards the door of the airport.
"Well, this is it! Our first chance at freedom!" I sighed and hugged my sister closer before leading the way into the terminal and over to our departure gate.
As we joined the queue to check in
"Becka, Gabi!" came from near the gateway, ignoring it until we had finished check in we realized who it was. The very people we both hoped wouldn't show up to say an extra good-bye.
"That looks like Tai and Ben?" I said briefly glancing at Gabi smiling at her.
"Yeah I thought they couldn't come?" she said as we waved and continued to make our way towards the departure gate and evidently towards the boys.
"Tai, Ben what are you guys doing here? I thought you couldn't make it?" I asked hugging them both and doing my best to look shocked.
"We decided it was rude not to come see our best friends off!" said Ben nudging Tai in the ribs as inconspicuously as possible.
"Yeah! Well thanks you guys, um we'll call you when we get to Forks, and we better get going before the plane leaves without us!" I said as Gabi began shaking with what I knew were fresh tears against my shoulder; rubbing her back I pulled her towards the gate without a backwards glance.
Once Gabi and I were through the scanners and metal detectors, I shot an apologetic look at Ben and Tai but they had gone as I knew they would.
"Why'd they come Becks? Don't they know what a fresh start means?" an upset Gabi asked as we placed our luggage on the scales and received our tickets to proceed through to the plane.
As we headed into the line filing onto the plane Gabi began turning to look behind us.
"They're gone Gabs, let's just leave it at that ae!" I said rubbing her back and gave our tickets to the hostess.
"I know that this says that we have different seats but is there any chance I could be sat with my sister? It's her first time on the plane so she's a little nervous! Is that ok?" I asked the hostess as she read both our tickers and smiled.
"Of course, that's fine you can have these two seats here, we understand when siblings want to sit together, are you sure you'll be ok?" She asked looking mainly at Gabi who had taken at least three steadying breaths while we stood there,
"Yes! I'll be fine. Thank you!" said Gabi smiling as she clicked her seatbelt into place and leant on my shoulder as the plane began to move.
"Tai looked so ashamed when we reached them do you know what's up with that?" Gabi murmurs sensing that I was thinking about him as much as she was thinking about Ben.
"I don't know Gabs, I guess we'll find it out soon enough!" I said wishing that she would change the subject.
"You don't think he was thinking about asking you not go or something do you?" she asked with a strange smile on her face.
"Pass Gabs! But I do know one thing, if he was thinking about asking me to stay for him then he was wasting his time. We both need this fresh start as much as you and Ben do. I realize it's hard, but when you think about it it's the best thing for everyone!" I said smiling and squeezing her shoulders.
"Yeah, I guess so Becks can we at least call them tonight though? I mean I do still love Ben and they are our friends that was the deal, that we would STAY friends right?" Gabi mentions not really asking, more stating an obvious fact.
"Yeah probably Hun, get some rest Gabs, you'll need it for the drive to Forks!" I said trying my hardest not to sound like Mum.
"Ok, what about you? Are you going to sleep?" was asked as Gabi leaned on my shoulder closing her eyes.
"Maybe!" I said smiling to myself more than Gabi, I still couldn't get Tai's face out of my head, he looked so apologetic that he had come, like Ben had dragged him with him or something it was just painful to look at, I need to permanently REMOVE that image from my mind.
Gabi seemed to be thinking along the same lines as we were offered lunch by the hostess that had arranged our seating I noticed that my sister kept wiping her face on her sleeve and the serviettes that we had been given.
She chose the chicken ranch salad and a club soda and I chose a bangers and mash with a diet coke. We ate in silence each absorbed in her own thoughts, when I finally looked at her, her eyes even puffier and redder than they were when we had boarded as we slowly descend to the Seattle Airport I put a comforting arm around her and kiss her hair, this was the best I could do.
As we reached the luggage bay I began subconsciously scanning the surrounding people for our father Jack. As we got our luggage Gabi nudged me and pointed in the direction of the men's toilets where our father was just coming out of. Gabi spotted him and groaned
"He's still in his uniform, Does that mean that he has his stupid Police cruiser?" shrugging we reluctantly dragged our suitcases through the crowds towards him.
"Becka, Gabi is that you? You look so grown up" he stuttered embarrassingly as we reached him.
"Yeah Dad, it's us" we said at the same time smiling.
"Okay lets go then" he chirpped awkwardly taking Gabi's bag and heading for the door.
"Shot gun!" cried Gabi as we reached the hideous police cruiser
"Hey now, none of that Gabs, you can sit in the back too, that's only fair!" Dad chastised as he and I put the suitcases into the boot and I jumped into the back of the car.
"Dad, it's fine! Mum lets me ride shot gun all the time, Gabi's entitled to it sometimes!" I said sliding to the middle and smiling as Gabi got in the front seat.
"So, tell me what you two have been up to since you came to see me last?" Dad asked as we joined the line of traffic.
"Um, well because it's spring break, Gabs and I have been hanging with our friends at the Rez, you know Huka Falls Reservation?" I said glancing at Gabi's face briefly before smiling at Dad.
"Well, that sounds fun, that could be something you girls could continue down here you remember Jacob, he and his dad live down on the Quileute Reserve well La Push for short!" Said Dad winking in my direction before looking at the road again.
"Um, we're kind of going to focus on er school work for at least one month before doing anything involving guys we have so much to catch up on!" I said realising how true that was. I'd have to study up tonight well when we finally get to dads that is, I forget how long the boring ride was to the miserable town of Forks.
The weather was as I expected when we got to Forks, rain as usual in this part of the miserable country. I finally realized that it was too real.
Gabi and I were the first ones out of the car and to the boot before Dad even had his door open.
We got soaked as we grabbed our suitcases and ran for the front door.
Just as we were about to reach the front door.
Gabi as usual slipped in a puddle and fell flat on her butt.
I got up the front porch and looked behind me in time to see dad helping Gabi up, I laughed and went to open the door.
"Ahh Becks, I think you'll find it's locked!" called Dad as he and Gabi made their way very carefully to where I stood on the porch.
"Oh bother, Dad it's freezing!" I complained as he began fishing out his keys from the pocket of his jacket.
"Here you go then, you can open the door Rebecka!" he said rather coldly as he handed me the keys.
"Sorry Dad, I'm just not used to this weather!" I said feeling guilty for having sounded so selfish.
"I understand Becks I'm sorry my tone was rather er harsh," Police training kicking in
"I'm sorry Hun!" He said giving me an uncomfortable hug of sorts before he grabbed both mine and Gabi's suitcase's and wheeled them into the house.
Shocked I looked to Gabi for an answer but she was just as speechless as I was as we followed dad into the house and up the stairs to our childhood bedroom.
It had been almost four years since Gabi and I had been here last, we didn't like travelling away from Mum so Dad had come to us and we'd reluctantly gone camping instead.
As we reached our room I couldn't believe that Dad had left it the way it had always been, two single beds side by side in the semi-middle of the room, a cabinet on the left side of both beds with a lamp on each and a cupboard where we kept our books, there were also two desks on both sides of the window for when we needed to study, they would be now used for our laptops that Mum had insisted upon getting along with a modem that was coincidently stapled to the wall connected to both desks so that we could email our over anxious Mother.
"Well, there are some shelves up in the bathroom and I'll leave you girls to unpack, everything is still the same as you remember so there's no problems there." he said awkwardly as he left the room.
"Thanks Dad!" We both said smiling as we placed our wet suitcases on our beds to unpack our things into the brightly painted floral drawers our mother had painted in the early days of her pregnancy with us.
Gabi silently pointed to all our school photos pinned on the wall with a discussed look on her face.
"We'll have to see if we can get Dad to move them, first chance ae! Seriously there is NO way I'm letting anyone see me with buck-teeth!" I said smiling at Gabi's face that must have mirrored my own.
"Let's get our stuff unpacked and go and see what Dad's doing for dinner." I said as I pulled my suitcase onto my bed. Sighing Gabi continued to unpack hers while I unzipped mine.
"Becka, Gabi? When you girls have unpacked can you please come down here?" called Dad 20 minutes later.
"Yeah Dad!" I called to him
"Sounds like we've got some visitors!" I mumbled to Gabi as we finished unpacking and made our way to the stairs.
"Wonder who it is? We didn't plan for anyone to come over did we?" I asked Gabi as we reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Um not that I'm-" as we turned the corner into the kitchen Gabi stopped in the doorway without warning.
"Hey Jake!" she said smiling and moving so I could stand beside her.
"Jake? Oh My Goodness, How are you? Wow it's been a while!" I said smiling at this somewhat tall stranger Gabi and I had grown up with and yet didn't know.
"Billy and Jake are staying for the game! We've ordered pizza, hope that's ok?" said Dad awkwardly winking at us. Great! How convenient Jacob around for at least three hours! Oh how fun! I thought Gabi and I went to sit on the couch.
"So… How's things?" Jake asked following us into the lounge and joining us on the spare seat of the couch, conveniently next to me…
"Um good I guess…." I said shifting uncomfortably closer to Gabi rather than to my disgust a guy who was rather too eager for my liking and far too young too.
"What about you?" Gabi asked.
"Pretty good actually, thanks for asking." Jake answered before being distracted, Billy and Dad got into the game cheering when their favourite team got a goal and booed when the other team did.
Jacob, Gabi and I were just sitting on the couch, occasionally we'd ask each other questions but most of the time Gabi and I were just pretending to watch the game. The pizza arrived shortly after the game started and was quickly consumed.
When the game was over, The Mariner's won 10-5, Jacob and Billy promised to come back soon and Dad freed up Sunday to go fishing with Billy and their close friend Harry Smeath.
"Hope you girls don't mind me making plans for the weekend, I'm so used to being alone…" said Dad as Billy and Jake backed out of our driveway and we headed back inside.
"That's cool Dad, we don't mind!" I said as I closed the door behind him and Gabi and I walked into the kitchen and over to the stairs.
As Gabi lead the way up the stairs I yelled out "Be in our room if you need us Dad, you know Jet-lag…" I smiled to myself at the excuse to get away.
Wondering what school would be like the next day I headed into our room.
"What was that all about Dad? We just got here, he's busy making plans for the first weekend that we're here?" asked Gabi as I climbed onto my bed and slid my computer towards me.
Glancing at Gabi I said "I don't know Hun, but I mean it's the first day here, we may meet some people to hang out with this weekend otherwise I'm sure Jacob would like some company in La Push." I said smiling a teasing smile at my twin sister.
"Ok, after tonight there is NO way I am spending anytime down at La Push unless I'm literally dragged down there!" She said glowering at me as she waited for her computer to load.
"Gabs? You're not nervous about tomorrow are you?" I asked worrying eagerly about my sister.
"No Becka, why would I be nervous? It's only school! You know I'm used to changing schools by now!" She reminded me as she stood up and climbed onto the bed next to me. We had moved around so much within the last four years that changing schools was just a way of life now. Despite the fact that we had been settled for the last six months to a year it was still hard having to move and re-settle into a new school but hey that's what a fresh start is right?
"We can do this Becks, We can! It is possible hun, I we really believe it!" said Gabi squeezing my shoulder as she put her laptop on her bed and jumped back onto her bed.
"Yeah I know Gabi it's just hard I miss Tai! Maybe I should call him, I think I will!" I said grabbing my phone out of my pocket and dialling my ex-boyfriend's number.
"Are you crazy Becka! We just got here and you're wanting to call Tai. You KNOW I bet he's missing you as much as your missing him and calling him may just make it worse!" Gabi snatched the phone in my hand and ended the call.
Realizing that she was right I sighed and said, "Maybe I'll leave it for a while, a week or two at the latest!" I said as I reached for my phone.
"I'm going to call Mum Gabs. We promised we would call once we got here, I don't want her to worry!" I said smiling as she reluctantly handed me back my mobile.
Dialling our old home number into my phone I began thinking about Tai, this was probably harder for me than it was for him, he and I were still in love but we both needed a fresh start.
My imagination/discussion was interrupted by a friendly voice answering the other end of the phone. "Hello? Patrick speaking!" came my step-fathers voice from the other end of the phone.
"Hey Pat, is Mum around? It's Becka!" I asked smiling and gesturing Gabi to come and sit on the side of my bed.
"Yes she is Becks, hold on a minute-Renee the twins are on the line!" came Pat's distant voice.
"Becka? Gabi? How was the flight?" came our mother's voice from the other end I quickly placed it on speaker before we replied
"Yeah Mum, we're here, we managed to get some rest on the plane. Did you see Tai or Ben before you left the airport?" asked Gabi as I put my arm around her and put the phone on my bed.
"Yeah, we caught a glimpse of them, they looked kinda down but they'll be fine girls. It's hard on everyone at the moment." said Mum answering Gabi's question. We talked to our parents for another twenty minutes before I looked at the clock and sighed.
"Hey Mum, we better go it's getting late and we have to go to school tomorrow but we'll be in touch as soon as we can!" I said trying not to roll my eyes because I knew what was coming!
"Okay girls, get some rest, Love you girls!" Mum said getting teary eyed again.
"Love you guys too!" we said carefully not looking at each other. I hung up the phone and Gabi and I logged off our laptops, got changed, cleaned our teeth and climbed into our beds.
"So? What do you think of Jacob?" I asked as Gabi snuggled down in her bed. Gob smacked she stuttered
"I we… well… I um… he's cute but he's two years younger than us and you know what I'm like with the age thing!" she said smiling shyly.
"You're missing Ben aren't you?" I asked as I got comfortable and faced my sister.
"WHAT? NO! OF COURSE NOT! What sort of thing to accuse me of Becka!" she said after a minute or so.
"Gabi, you can't hide it much longer, I'll admit I miss Tai sooooo much, look at what happened earlier, I almost caved calling him, that would have set both of us back." I said eyeing her suspiciously.
"Yeah! (Sigh) I guess you're right Becks, I think I'm still in love with Ben Becka, of course I've been selfish, trying not to want him when I want him sooo bad right now I can't do this, I have to talk to him Becka Please!" Gabi pleaded with tears welling up in her eyes.
"Ok Gabs, Breathe I'll text Tai, tell him that we're gonna conference call them in together ok, but promise me on thing Gabs? This is the LAST time that we're talking to them! How are we going to get over them if we're still hanging on?" I asked her rhetorically.
"Rebecka! (I flinched) I have to talk to him, you know what that's like I saw your face when the boys…. When they showed up at the airport today! You have to admit that you're still in love with Tai as well, you need to tell him, he NEEDS to know!" said Gabriella with my favourite smile.
"(sigh), I know Gabs but I've got to figure out how to word it.. I mean think about it… imagine ringing him up and saying 'Hey Tai, I know we've split up but I want you to know I still love you probably always will! Yeah Right!" I scoffed shaking my head. Glancing at my sister I realized she was on the phone.
"Ben? It's Gabs! Hey, how ya going?...listen I have to tell you something it's just um, difficult to er… explain." she said looking straight at me as if to say hurry up!
Sighing I dialled Tai's number and pressed call.
"Hello? Tailer speaking!" came a rather eager voice from the other side.
"Tai, it's Becka! We need to talk!" I said sinking back onto my pillows trying to control my emotions knowing this would be difficult.
"Hey Becks, Man it's weird with you guys not being around! I miss you Becks!" He said quietly.
"Yeah Tai I miss you too. Gabs is on the phone to Ben, she's struggling with this whole break-up thing. What about you? Tai, please don't keep anything from me I need to know how you are because ok here's the thing (pause) Tai? You still there?" I asked suddenly aware that I'd been doing all the talking.
"Yes Becks, I'm still here which for some reason is amazing because I'm resisting the urge to hang up on you due to all this talking but anyway, (sigh) carry on honey." He said trying to hide his emotions as he waited for me to continue with my Top Secret that I suddenly needed to share with him.
"The thing is Tai, I think no wait, I know that I'm still in love with you and possibly always will be!" I said breathing for the first time in almost five minutes.
"Wow, (pause) That's well deep I um I am still madly enough in love with you too. Can I PLEASE come to Forks and steal you back baby, I love you so much please Becka, please, please, please tell me that there's still a chance for us? I've been lying to myself this whole time, pretending that I can leave it, leave you! Please tell me that you've been lying to yourself too? Please tell me I'm not too late." he said trying his best to sound serious but it actually sounded like he was going to cry. I thought to myself for a moment before speaking.
"Do the long-distance thing? I don't want to leave Forks, we've only just got here and Gabi and I agreed to give this place a chance before we decide on whether to stay, but Tai what about your folks? Aren't they meant to be moving here?" I asked remembering what his parents had said when I had broken the news to them about moving.
"Well, um I guess I could talk to them about it again, but I don't know I'll (pause) have to get back to you Becks. Can we talk about this though? Is there a chance that we can pick up where we left off?" he asked suddenly sounding hopeful and eager like when he answered the phone. This was to sudden for me, I had to stop this without hurting him!
"I have to go Tai, I have school in the morning, but I promise I'll call you tomorrow night ok?" I said sadly glancing at the clock on my bedside table yet again.
"Yeah! I'd better go too." He said even more reluctantly than usual.
"I love you Tai!" I said glancing at Gabi who was saying similar to Ben.
"I love you too Becks and always will baby no matter what!" He said and pretending to blow a kiss.
"Mwah!" I said as I hung up and placed my phone on the table. I was overcome by the pain of losing him all over again and I once again found myself crying over Tailer….. The next thing I heard was my father's booming voice from downstairs and I realised it was morning.