Chapter 3

If Only

A/N: So I said we would start the departure that originally started the original fic in this chapter.

I lied. Well, that's... also a lie. I wanted to. And then I decided that I needed even more backstory to fill the gaps. There's a bit of a gaping plot hole left by Misty's internal dialogue last chapter, that Ash was her EX crush, and how much she acknowledges Dawn's love for Ash, especially since in the same paragraph she dismisses her own crush as mere childhood affection. So, now, here we are with yet another inclusion before the ACTUAL rewrite officially occurs...

I still feel the info dump at the end of the last chapter was a little cheap on my part, even IF my fingers would just not stop typing, so this one will be a full blown flashback chapter, completely filling some blanks as to why Dawn above all other girls up to the end of Generation 4 is so determined to bring him home. In an odd way, consider this a reverse of the old epilogues I did back with the originals.

Oh, and finally... Why did no one ever freaking correct me over Silver Town being at the FOOT of mount silver? Jeebus, it's a good thing I had Misty give that little snippet about the Pokémon there becoming too powerful to control, easy to retcon around a little.

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-Silver City, One year, four months ago-

"Did you hear? Another trainer is in the hospital."

"Yeah, I heard. They went too far off the designated path. From the sounds of it, this may be the last year the conference is held here."

"Well, with no one caring for their own safety, it isn't surprising. Those wild Pokémon aren't messing around, they'll kill you without a second thought!"

Concern was etched deeply into Dawn's features as she waited. Around her many powerful trainers milled through the small city, as well as several League security personnel. Sirens had blared in the air after a medical helicopter had landed nearby. Flight for life was even being used... Glancing towards the trainers who she guiltily admitted she was eavesdropping on for info, she shivered, both to the chilling night air, and the deep misery that wafted around her.

This wasn't how she expected this night to start.

Glancing down, she gently clenched her hands, trying to stimulate heat in her thin ice blue gloves, letting out a mirthless laugh at the irony of the color. She thankfully had opted for a longer dress for this night, and wore cotton leggings beneath to cover what little the ankle length skirt didn't. "Thank goodness mom checked the forecast, huh, Piplup?" She glanced at her partner, who was wrapped in his own sweater adorned with his face on the front. The tiny penguin clearly was trying to act tough as he chirped up to his trainer, but his voice betrayed the shiver behind his tough guy act.

Sapphire eyes traced the crowd, looking for who the two were waiting for. Usually, it would be easy to spot him, be it from his prominent red cap, the yellow mouse that always took resident on his shoulder, or the paparazzi that seemed to make it their intent to follow him to the ends of the earth. At this thought, Dawn giggled to herself. They better get in line. At this thought, she straightened her top, a matching sea foam grey to her skirt, with a dark blue shirt underneath for added warmth. It wasn't her most extravagant dress, and it concerned her she was being too modest considering how long she had waited for this chance. It seemed her partner had noticed her self-doubt, as he playfully smacked her leg and chanted his name at her dismissively.

"Nothing gets by you, huh?" Dawn cooed softly, "You're right. It doesn't matter how I look. He's always accepted me, no matter-"

"There you are, Dawn!"

Both Coordinator and penguin partner's attention snapped to the owner of the voice. A tall young man with a yellow Pokémon perched on his shoulder approached her, mouth split into a huge smile and eyes beaming with joy at the sight of his friend. As he approached, Dawn took in the sight of her childhood crush, now turned full blown adult flame. He wore a red and blue sports coat with black highlights, thick enough to endure the night cold, but casual enough to still be appropriate for the night, a large 'PM' Emblem sewn above his heart. He never wore anything that didn't reference his accomplished dream. Slightly oversized blue jeans covered worn black low neck boots. Can't expect a complete dress coat and slacks from him, could she? "Is it really appropriate for a Pokémon Master to keep his friend waiting, Ash?"

In a completely 'Ash-like' comical display, Ash flinched violently and scrambled up to her, placing a finger over her lips to shush her, "Hey, hey! You know that saying that out loud is like a dog whistle to those vultures!" He didn't notice the blush that had crept up her cheeks as he sighed, Pikachu mirroring his trainer from his shoulder as they comically relaxed before smiling at her, "Sorry though, really. It's no excuse, but it's a nightmare to get away from the reporters once they've caught sight of me." He gently scratched beneath Pikachu's chin, eliciting a content purr of its name, "especially with this beacon of yellow color here, everyone can spot me in a crowd now."

Dawn smiled cutely and stepped up to him, bringing his gaze back to her. Their eyes met, and she could tell he was taking her image in. They hadn't seen each other in person for four years, and even if she wasn't wearing something mind-blowing, she could feel the man she adored tracing her with his eyes. That shimmer in those auburn orbs was something she prayed he never had when gazing upon another girl. Be it that he still was the same old love blind Ash, a lot could happen in four years, and video calls barely did either of them justice. Dawn took notice that his eyes had come to rest on her... face? Did she catch his eye more than she thought? She flinched lightly as he lifted a hand and placed it on her head, "I knew something was off, you left your hat at home?"

"Same old Ash," Dawn sighed cutely, gently batting his hand away with a playful slap as he questioned what she meant by that, "Come on, let's get going! You said you had a reservation, right?"

Ash nodded, and almost on cue, his stomach growled loudly, eliciting a laugh from both trainer and Pokémon, "Yeah, had to pull some strings since things are so chaotic here, they practically closed everything in town outside of the Pokémon Center. But I guarantee this will be the best night out since... well..."

Dawn took his hand and smiled into his eyes, "It'll be the best ever." His breath hitched at her touch, but he quickly composed himself and returned the kind gaze, taking the lead to guide her to their destination. It didn't take much to part the crowds, the sight of the young man was enough to bring wandering eyes and silence conversation, but the fact the master who had never been seen with anyone but his Pikachu in public was now guiding a beautiful blue haired maiden through the small town's streets, it didn't take a rocket scientist to know to stay out of his way.

The walk took longer than expected, but the blunette had no complaints. It had been so long since they had seen each other, since she felt this ember in her heart roar into a burning flame that the journey, the night, could go forever. Dawn was happy, just holding his hand as he led her to what could only be a wonderful night, was enough. Though, she murmured under her breath, "If only it was more than a night between friends..."

They reached the Silver Convergence, the only fancy restaurant in the small town. Usually reserved for top trainers and large groups of friends and families to meet, hence the name, the lights were dimmed leaving a disappointed look on Dawn's face as her eyes caught a 'closed' sign. She lightened at Ash's touch as he nudged the Twinleaf girl, flashing her a grin as he simply pushed through the entrance, which was conveniently unlocked. He held the door, bowing his head and extending his free hand in a comical way, eliciting an equally comedic gasp and "what a gentleman" from Dawn as she entered.

Ash gave Pikachu a quick glance, who took his cue to leap from his perch to keep Piplup company outside so the two trainers could have their time together. The cautious man locked the door to ensure no one would follow before leading Dawn to the lone table still adorned with utensils, flanked by two candelabras flickering in the darkness. If it were anyone else planning this, Dawn would truly think this -was- a date. He's just trying to make this a good memory... as friends. She reminded herself, before taking the seat that Ash so graciously pulled for her. They continued their playful banter, sarcastically quipping at each other before falling into fits of laughter. When it died to quiet giggles, the waiter made his presence known and took the two's orders before scurrying off.

"Pretty ritzy for such a small town, huh?" Ash asked with a small bit of annoyance in his voice, though he tried his best to hide it. He never was one for these kinds of places, much preferring more cozy diners or take out.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to court me with a date, Ash." Dawn's giggles returned once more as Ash blushed and tugged at the collar of his coat nervously. Same old Ash, but perhaps he was more self-aware now.

"N-no, I just, tomorrow is such a huge day for me, finally taking the only league I haven't beaten," Ash stuttered, immediately noticing the glee in Dawn's eyes dim a little, "It means so much to me... that you also came to support me," he placed his hand on hers, "I wanted to make sure it was just as special for you as it is for me, Dawn. You being here for me..."

Dawn's eyes softened, a genuinely touched smile cresting her lips as the man continued, "I know I've been selfish to our friends... Misty doesn't even bother trying to call anymore, I talk to Brock and Gary once in a blue moon, and even May has to go through you to hear about me," they both laughed as Dawn chimed in that May was asking again before he resumed, "You're the only one I can confide in nowadays. I wanted to make sure that... I repaid that kindness, Dawn. You truly are the best friend a knucklehead like me could ask for, especially with how bad a friend I have been to everyone."

He immediately panicked when he noticed a tear roll from Dawn's eyes, though she quickly wiped the tear away when he asked what's wrong, "Ash, that... If this wasn't such a wonderful night, I would ask who you were and what you did with my friend. That really..." she placed her free hand over his, cupping it between both of hers, "You have no idea what this night means to me, Ash. I will always support you. Your victories are mine as well, because seeing you so happy..."

Ash's blush deepened as he smiled warmly at her seeming loss of words yet again, "Makes you happy too?" Dawn nodded as another tear fell. He was happy he made this decision. To call her, to ask her to come see him, to contact Lance to pull some strings for him. This night was what he needed, what they needed. He felt a tickle in his chest, a feeling he didn't understand. He hadn't felt it since... well, the last time Ash and Dawn had been together. He occasionally noticed the fluttering of it welling up when they had long video calls, especially when she had just won a contest. Her beaming smile and joy filled voice filled him with both pride and, well, something. The young man had a hunch what it was; sure, he was always pretty dumb to this sort of thing, even he knew that after Misty had teased him for the umpteenth time. And the fact that he only felt this when with Dawn, when she laughed, she smiled, when they did their iconic high five.

Before he could debate these thoughts further, their food arrived, and, despite their groaning stomachs, they held their pose for a few moments longer, both enjoying the other's contact.

After a good half hour of eating and Dawn taking jabs at the young Pokémon Master actually eating with manners rather than wolfing his food down like a starved Houndour, the two reached the end of their meals. Ash took notice that Dawn had slowed, however, and was poking at the remainders, "What's wrong? Getting full?"

Dawn jolted her head up and nervously giggled, "No, just... Ash." The young man tilted his head curiously, "Have you... Have you ever thought of maybe-"

She was cut off by him raising his hand. She was prepared for the following spiel of how his mother had begged and begged him to take a break, how even Lance had told him to take a break so he could ensure their next battle would rival his fight with Cynthia, and that everyone had told him he was pushing himself too hard, so she let him ramble with pursed lips forcing a smile until he was done. "Well, I'm aware of all that, Ash. You tell me every time you call me, but that wasn't what I was going to ask," Ash froze mid bite at this, "I wanted to ask you... If -after- this... You'd want to settle down."

That feeling had returned again, the fluttering in his chest, and he felt his cheeks warm, "Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to take a break after I win tomorrow." He easily noticed her cringe, as though that was the exact opposite answer she had hoped for, "Dawn. I don't... know what you mean."

The blunette took a breath to respond, then closed her eyes and shook her head, proceeding to finish her meal, "Never mind, I shouldn't have... just keep your mind focused on the match, and we'll see from there, ok?" She smiled cutely, though Ash could tell it was a bit forced. Whatever she was trying to ask him, it meant a lot to her. Once more he placed a hand on hers, but she didn't meet his gaze when he tried. Had he messed up the night after all? Had his naivety ruined the response she hoped to hear? The fluttering had changed to a weight, like his lungs were being choked for air at the thought.

"Only if you're there too. I want to win, but not without my best friend cheering for me."

"I won't be bringing the old outfit out, if that's what you're suggesting." Both of them had a laugh at that.

"No, I want to have the victory you never got to see back in Sinnoh. I want to make sure that you're there so that..." his voice caught in his throat, not knowing where he was going with this as her eyes began to shimmer with hope again, "So I can give you the answer you want to hear." He pulled a small package out of his coat pocket and slid it across the table to her. When she glanced at it curiously, he chuckled, "It's nothing super fancy, Dawn. I just... I feel like you of all people would appreciate a gift like this."

Dawn hesitantly took the box and opened it slowly, as though it would bite her. Inside were a pair of black fingerless gloves, with green padding over the backs. They were worn, but clearly had been cleaned up with care, "Ash, what is...?"

The Master sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, "They're... the first gloves I ever wore on my journey. After how many times I've held your hand today, I'm certain they'll fit your hands despite how old they are. I felt... a sentimental gift would mean a lot more than something like a necklace or ring or the like."

Dawn slowly took her own gloves off and slid the 'new' pair on. They fit snuggly, almost tight but enough for her fingers to still breathe, although they did slightly cut off before her wrist, "Ash... I don't know what to say." She stood and walked to his side, leading to him flinching slightly expecting her to be upset at such a silly gift, but was stunned when she leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek, "Thank you, Ash. This is the best gift you could have given me..."

There was that feeling again.

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Dawn sat quietly in the hall outside of the patient rooms of the intensive care unit. Everything had gone so right only nights before, and now her entire world had fallen apart. The young Master was on the opposite side of the door she was staring at blankly, hopefully resting peacefully. Once he had come out of anesthesia, he refused visitors. From what little she saw of him, his eyes were hollow, empty and soulless. He was broken from what had happened, both in body and spirit.

How could he not, after what had happened in the finals of the conference. She had never seen Ash's Pokémon so badly hurt, and the fact that he clearly couldn't move his right arm and was barely able to breathe as he fought to stay by his partner's side... "How could this happen... Everything was so perfect... and now..."

She glanced up as a soft hand patted her shoulder, "Still talking to yourself, huh?" Before her stood a young woman with burning red hair and eyes that matched it in both color and intensity, even if she was offering a caring smile.

"Zoey" Dawn gasped, catching herself from tackling her friend.

"I came as soon as I could, but I was locked in a monsoon in Cianwood. Why aren't you at his bedside instead of out here in the hallway?" She traced her blank stare to the door, then back to her, furrowing her brow in concern, "He won't let you in?"

Dawn shook her head with what little energy she could muster, "Pikachu is the only one who he allowed in once he was out of critical care. I've heard him talking to him occasionally, but he's making a dedicated effort to stay quiet. I even tried his pokegear since he still has it, but..."

Zoey glowered at the door as though she was about to attack it and kick it down, but she held her position at her rival's side. "So it's been how long? Two weeks?" Dawn affirmed with a nod, "When was the last time you took some rest? Showered? You look awful, Dawn."

The blue hair of the Twinfleaf beauty gleamed with sweat and was frizzy, clearly lacking even a blast from her Piplup's bubblebeam in recent days. She shrugged tiredly as her bag heavy eyes continued to stare at the door to Ash's room, "Come on, nothing is going to change with you just sitting-" both of them jolted at the sound of a loud pained heave and the sliding of glass. Zoey dashed for the door and didn't hesitate to slam her foot into it, nearly breaking the handle as she aimed the kick at the lock and bashing through. Inside, there was no one. No Ash, no Pikachu, just an empty bed and an open window dripping from the howling rain and sleet outside.

Before Zoey could even respond, she spun to see Dawn had vanished. Darting outside the room, she saw a flash of blue hair round the bend down the hall. With a sigh, she began walking calmly after her friend, stopping to grab her travel bag at the entrance to the hospital and popping her portable umbrella.

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Dawn sprinted like a madwoman down the rain drenched streets. She didn't care how cold she was, how soaked she had already become. She had to find him, she had to stop Ash from doing... WHATEVER he was thinking of doing. She knew there was only one real path he could take to exit the small town, as it was surrounded by rounded walls to repel the local wild Pokémon, so she sped as fast as she could for the exit road until she finally saw the ever so present yellow mouse that was like a beacon for any who sought the man, "Ash!"

When he didn't stop walking, she dashed in front of him, putting her arms out as to block his path, "What is wrong with you?! You're still hurt, where in the world are you going?!" She tried to look him in the eyes, but his head was hanging low and cap even lower to cover his auburns. She could see he was still having trouble breathing with his right arm cradled in a cast over his chest, it being broken along with two ribs from Charizard's impactful failed seismic toss, "Ash, please... Talk to me. You know I'm here for you, I always have been."

She saw him open and close his mouth, seeking words to speak but nothing came out. A few moments passed of even Pikachu not being able to look at the girl, a grim look of sadness on his usually cheerful face. Finally, Ash found his voice, "Dawn. Please move."

The girl stared flabbergasted at the man, "What? Why? Why won't you just-"

"Please move... so I don't have to make you move."

Dawn felt her arms grow weak as they slumped to her side. Did he... just threaten her? Her eyes were wide in both shock and... Fear. An emotion she never thought she'd feel towards the man she loved. Without another word, Ash strode past her, still refusing to make eye contact with his so called best friend. A few steps away from her, Dawn regained her voice, and now with a raging anger spun to scream through the pouring rain, "Ash Ketchum, you better hear me! I never will give up on you!" she bellowed, her voice carrying a strength neither trainer knew it had, "No matter what your goals are, what your objective has become... I will find you. I would follow you to the ends of the earth just to see you again, and I swear, I swear on Arceus's name, I will bring you home! I will never give up on you!"

Ash had stopped walking, Pikachu staring back at Dawn with clear tears in his eyes. And as Ash slowly turned to face her, it was finally revealed that it wasn't the rain pouring down his face. It was his own tears. He stared at her, not with anger or contempt, but genuine hurt and sadness. He opened his mouth, paused, and then finally said through a cracked voice, "I know, Dawn. You were the only one who never did... And that's why I can't face you right now. Goodbye."

He continued walking away from her, slowly disappearing into the downpour. Dawn watched until he was completely out of sight, then fell to her knees, slamming her gloved fists into the ground angrily before letting out one last bellowing roar of anguish before falling silent in her sadness. She remained there, pelted by ice cold rain, for several minutes, but she didn't mind it. She barely felt it over the boiling emotions inside of her. She didn't, at least until it was clear that it wasn't stinging her back anymore. She felt a hand grip her shoulder, and she looked up into the vermillion eyes of her friend and rival.

"Zoey" Before she could even respond, the Top Coordinator was pulled into an earth shattering hug. She didn't mind that she was now sharing in being soaked, she just gently wrapped her free arm around her friend and rubbed her back softly as Dawn sobbed into her shoulder, the blunette begging her friend for answers as to why. That was the major question, why, followed by what was next. Glaring down the street, she swore to herself she'd give Ash the biggest beating of his life for hurting Dawn like this. Dawn's heart wasn't the only one broken in all of this. And Zoey was now determined to help repair both of their hearts, Dawn for Ash leaving.

And Zoey's for seeing her most treasured friend falling apart.

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A/N: Ok. As far as I can tell, I didn't break character in this. I kept things canon, and I filled a crap ton of plot holes... let me know what you guys think. To this day I'm not a beggar for comments, but I seriously would appreciate some thoughts on this chapter. Thanks all.