They're back together! Thanks all for the continued support for this fic! It has meant the world. We only have a few chapters left and I am so excited to keep going on this journey with you all!

Here we go with Chapter 19! Enjoy!

As he turns in bed, Jay lets out a sigh of relief that his phone has not gone off yet. It's Sunday and unless they catch a case, it's his and Hailey's day off.

And by the silence in the bedroom, he assumes that's still the plan.

He looks over at Hailey while she sleeps, peacefully curled up against his side, and thoughts of the night before fill his head. Thoughts of crying and fighting and telling her that he wasn't leaving and that they could be happy again. Memories of telling her, of showing her, how all in he really was. Memories of her showing him the exact same thing.

He can't explain how they got here. It's been ten and a half weeks since her memory loss, since the worst day of his life where he thought he lost it all. The fact that after all that time they still wound up here, her wrapped up in his arms, is nothing short of a miracle. And while he is aware that there is a chance that her memories won't come back any time soon, if ever, he thinks he can deal with that as long as he wakes up every morning next to her.

Her body starts to stir against his and Jay can't help himself as he leans down to kiss the crown of her head, noticing the way her lips involuntarily curl into a smile.

"Good morning," She hums, eyes still closed.

"Morning," He says in a gruff whisper.

He watches as her eyes slowly open, and her smile starts to grow as she realizes he is still here, that he will always be here.

"No case today?"

He shakes his head. "Day off."

"Good," She murmurs. "I think after the few days we have had, we deserve a day off."

He hooks her leg with his under the sheets and scoots closer to her, relishing in the light chuckle that falls from her lips. "What do you think we should do today?"

"Not leave this bed for hours for starters."

He raises his eyebrow knowingly at her words and laughs as she swats at his chest. "I meant going back to sleep. I'm tired after that case."

"Sure, you did."

She rolls her eyes and tries to feign annoyance, but they both know what she really meant and neither of them is protesting it.

He chuckles and when he glances at her, there is a look on her face that he can't quite register.

"What?"

She shakes her head lightly against his chest, "Nothing."

"Hailey-"

She sighs and wiggles out of his embrace a little, propping herself up on her elbow and looking down at him. "I'm happy. I really am."

"I'm sensing a but coming."

"You know I met with my doctors Wednesday, right?"

He nods against the pillow. It was the day after she had started to pull away and later in the week when he asked her about the appointments, she had told him they had been good but neither of them had exactly believed her words.

"With everything that happened I didn't get a chance to tell you about my appointments."

He feels a twinge of anxiety in his chest, but tries to appear calm as he responds, "Okay."

"I'm done with PT this week," She tells him and he notices that she is not smiling even though it's good news. "During my last appointment they told me they want me to come in this Tuesday to talk about future steps, but I'm pretty much healed from the initial injury. Physically, I am where I was before the accident. Maybe even better."

"Hailey, that's great." He says with a soft smile, sitting up a little against the pillows.

"Doc Charles is comfortable decreasing my sessions too," She continues. "Said I'm doing well emotionally and there's no point in meeting so much. He wants to decrease it to once or twice a week."

Jay nods slowly, waiting for her to say more, but she doesn't.

"Hailey, you don't seem excited about this."

"I am," She says softly. "I am...I just…"

Her voice trails off and she lets out a sigh. "I just keep thinking what happens if the memories don't come back. What does that mean for my job and for us?"

"Come here," He whispers as he reaches out for her and pulls her to lay against his chest, his arm holding her back securely. They lay there in silence for a moment as her fingers brush against his bare side and he runs his hand tenderly against her back.

"I know we literally just said last night we weren't gonna worry about it-"

"It's natural to think about it," He cuts her off gently. "Especially with the doctor's appointments about to end."

He feels her move against his chest as she lets out a low breath and her fingers still against his side. "What happens if they don't let me return to Intelligence full time?"

The idea breaks his heart, but sadly, it's a real possibility and one he has been trying to prepare himself for. Physically she is the same cop, but mentally, she only retains her memories from her years of patrol. He hates it, but he understands the CPD's hesitation to reinstate her to her previous position.

"You know Voight is gonna fight tooth and nail for you, right?" He looks down at her. "And if they think that they're giving me a permanent partner besides you, they got another thing coming."

She chuckles lightly at his words. "I know you guys will. I am just trying to be realistic. I mean, if I have to go back to patrol and start over…"

Her voice trails off again and this time, neither of them fills the silence. Being so many weeks out from her initial injury, they are now in uncharted waters, and it is hard to figure out where they go from here.

"I guess I'll just see what the doctors and the white shirts say," She says after a while. "And I'll just go from there."

"And we'll go from there," He corrects her. "It doesn't matter what they tell you, I'll still be by your side."

"Even if I can't be your partner anymore?" She asks softly.

"Even then."

There is a small little smile on her face that is starting to grow. She lifts her head up, resting her chin against his chest and gazing up at him. "What about if I can't be a cop? What if I have to go out and get some super lame job?"

"I'll still be there then," He says with a chuckle.

She hums and he can tell the gears are turning in her head. Her fingers tap twice against his chest as she says, "What if I became a garbage person and came home super smelly every day?"

"I mean, I might ask you to shower before I kiss you but-"

In a fit of laughter, she attempts to shove his chest, but he grabs her wrist before she is able, stilling her enough that he can lean down and catch her lips with his. She tastes sweet in the morning light, and he can feel her hum in amusement against his lips.

"But I'll still be there."

Her dimples are on full display with the smile that she flashes him. "Good to know."

"I'll follow you," He reminds her.

"And if I suggested we just stay in this bed for a little longer?"

"I don't think I'd have a problem with that," He tells her and before she can respond, he is kissing her again.

"That had better not be a case," Hailey mutters when they hear his phone vibrating for the second time in five minutes. Jay sighs and gets up from his spot beside her at the kitchen island, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head before he goes and gets his phone from where he left it on the other side of the kitchen.

"It's Will," He mutters to her as he leans against the counter next to the sink and answers the phone.

"Hello?"

"Are you okay?" Will asks immediately. "Did you catch a case or-"

"What are you talking about?" Jay asks his brother in confusion. He sees Hailey's head shoot up to look at him, lowering her coffee down onto the counter, her hands protectively wrapping around the mug.

"Jay, you were supposed to come over today," Will reminds him. "I got worried."

Jay groans. "It's Sunday, isn't it?"

"Yup."

The Blackhawks were set to play an early afternoon game today and Will and Jay had planned to watch the game together. As soon as the season schedule came out and they realized it was one of the few games that fell on a day they both had off, they carved the day out and made plans to throw back a few beers and scream at their favorite team from the comfort of Will's couch.

"Man, I'm sorry," Jay says. "It's been a really hectic few days. I didn't even realize."

Will just chuckles and Jay can imagine the way his brother is shaking his head and rolling his eyes without even seeing him. "That's what I figured. It's still your day off, though, right? I'm not interrupting important police work?"

"No, you're good. We're just having breakfast."

"We?"

Jay glances up at Hailey who is still watching him, but she has returned to slowly sipping her coffee, amusement on her face. He makes a hand gesture to insinuate that Will is talking his ear off, pressing the pads of his fingers together and moving his hand back and forth, and he can hear Hailey's soft chuckles from across the kitchen. The sound of her laughter is so distracting he almost forgets he has the phone pressed up to his ear and he is in the middle of a conversation.

"So, are you bringing her with you, or should I just assume I won't be seeing you at all today?" His brother's voice finally brings him back to reality.

"I mean, Hailey and I didn't have plans for today," Jay says slowly, and he notices as Hailey looks up to shoot him another questioning look. "I can't promise she'll be down, though. It's been a long week. But I feel bad blowing you off."

He wants to spend time with his brother, he really does, but after several days of being on uneasy ground with Hailey, he really does not want to leave her side today.

"I get it," Will says and by the tone in his voice, he can tell that he really does. "Talk to your girl and just shoot me a text. If not today, then the next game."

"Thanks, Will."

They exchange a quick goodbye before Jay clicks off his phone. Across the kitchen, Hailey is pretending like she is not interested in the last part of his conversation and is trying to distract herself by finishing the bagel she is eating.

"Yes?" Jay says knowingly as he takes two long steps across the room and comes to lean against the other side of the kitchen island.

"Everything good with Will?"

Jay nods. "I'm apparently the worst brother ever because I made plans with him for today to watch the Blackhawks game and completely forgot."

"Are you still gonna go?" She asks and if there is disappointment in her voice, she does a good job at masking it.

Jay shrugs. "He asked if you wanted to come. Told him I would talk to you and figure out what we were doing for the day."

A small little smile creeps up on her face. "So that's what the last part of the conversation was about."

He raises his eyebrow cheekily as he says, "So, you were listening to my conversation?"

"You mean the conversation you had three feet away in my kitchen?" She deadpans. "Yeah, sorry."

Jay laughs and he rounds the island to come to sit next to her again, letting his fingers run across the top of her back as he walks past her to his seat.

"So, what time are we going to Will's?" Hailey asks once he is settled.

"So it's decided?" He laughs a little. "We're going?"

She shrugs and turns away from him, focusing her attention on the last few bites of her breakfast. "I mean, you can go alone if you want some quality brother time. But I don't want you to skip out on your plans for me."

He smiles at her, at the way she is so sweet without even knowing it, and he lets his hand come to rest on her knee. "You sure you want to spend our day off with my brother?"

She lets out that sweet, soft laugh again. "I mean it's not our whole day off. We'll go there for a few hours and then I'm sure we can figure something else to do tonight."

He is about to say something, but she pops one last bite into her mouth and jumps out of her seat before he is able to. Hailey shoots him a knowing look despite the way her cheeks are puffed up with food. He shakes his head at her goofy self and tries to return his attention to finishing his own breakfast so they can get over to his brother's.

Because the sooner they go to Will's the sooner they can come back here.

"And that, Hailey Anne, is why you deserve a trophy for choosing to put up with my brother not once but twice."

Jay can feel the vibrations of Hailey's laughter against his side. His arm is casually draped around the back of the couch, his hand every now and then playing with her hair. His other arm lays on the armrest, a beer in his free hand. Will is on the other side of the couch, in the middle of telling her yet another embarrassing story from their high school days and Jay can only roll his eyes while the blonde next to him laughs her head off.

"I'm sorry, did we come here to watch the game or to embarrass me?" Jay asks, shaking his head.

"Both," Will declares as Hailey pinches at Jay's thigh, making him glare playfully at her.

"Besides, it's a commercial," Will adds, gesturing to the TV.

"It wasn't when you started!"

Will and Hailey just laugh at his complaining, but Hailey is kind enough to tilt her head and kiss the underside of his jaw quickly before Will can notice.

"So, Hailey," Will changes the subject. "Rumor has it someone is finishing PT soon?"

Hailey nods. "Apparently I'm as good as new. Physically, anyway."

'Still nothing on that front?"

Hailey shakes her head. "They have been telling me 'any day now' every day for the past month. No offense, but I'm not sure any of you doctors know what you are talking about."

Will laughs at her comment and Jay just shakes his head because Hailey is a lot of things, but subtle is not one of them.

"Trust me, I'm sure they would love to give you a more exact answer," Will chuckles. "But you are quite a unique situation."

"Don't I know it," Jay mutters playfully under his breath, low enough that Will does not hear, but Hailey cocks her head up at him quickly with that challenging look that says he will be paying for that later.

"So, I'm told," Hailey says to Will as she turns back to him, her elbow not so subtly digging into Jay's side as she does so.

It's quiet for a moment as they all wait for the other to talk, the soft buzz of the TV the only sound in the room. Will knows the most about everything going on right now: her lack of memories, their relationship, the whole nine yards, but Jay assumes even he is not sure of what to say.

"But," Hailey says at last. "None of that downer talk right now. The memories are a future problem. Right now, I am more concerned with getting another beer before you two drink them all."

She pats Jay's thigh lovingly as she gets up and makes her way to Will's kitchen, leaving the two brothers to just laugh and shake their heads.

"You two amaze me, you know that?" Will says with a chuckle once Hailey is out of earshot.

Jay takes a slow sip of his beer as he shoots his brother a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"She lost her memories, and you are still making things work. You realize that's kinda insane, right?"

It's more than kinda insane. It's beyond all reason. The fact they made it work once was an accomplishment given how much they had stacked against them. But this time around they were given impossible odds and somehow, they still wound up together.

"I don't know what to say, man," Jay tells him, checking over his shoulder to make sure Hailey is still in the other room. A door clicks and Jay realizes she has slipped into the bathroom, giving him a few uninterrupted minutes with his brother. "We're good together. I'm just lucky she was willing to give me another shot."

"Well, no matter what it is, this is going to be a hell of a story to tell at your wedding."

Jay is not sure what is more surprising, the fact that his brother is bringing up marriage or how casually he does it. The words are such a shock to Jay that he almost chokes on his beer.

"Bro, we are a while away from that," Jay tells him. "We literally just got together."

"I know," Will shrugs. "But, I mean, come on."

Jay looks over his shoulder again, seeing the still closed door, and turns back to Will, who is just staring at him with a knowing look.

"You two talk about the future at all?"

"Will, we literally just got together-"

"I know, I know," Will chuckles. "But you two were pretty quick with the whole moving in thing the first time around."

Jay sighs. "It's different now, you know that. We had been partners for four years before. Now, she has barely known me for ten weeks."

"What about you?" Will asks. "You've known her for over four years. You didn't lose any of your memories."

It's not often that people ask Jay how he is dealing with all of this, and it makes sense. Hailey is the one who has taken the brunt of this experience, but it has affected him too. Only a few people know the true extent of how Hailey's injuries have affected Jay's life, so he is not used to talking about his experience and it takes him a minute to gather his thoughts.

"I still love her. That hasn't changed," Jay says simply. "And I would marry her tomorrow if things were different, but they aren't. I'm in this for the long haul, though. Whether she's ready right now or in ten years."

Will does not respond at first, instead just glancing between the tv and his brother with a smug smirk.

"What?"

"Nothing," Will shakes his head. "Just...you turned out pretty alright, little brother. She's good for you."

Jay is about to respond when he hears the opening of the bathroom door. He glances back at Hailey, who is oblivious to his gaze as she walks over to Will's small kitchen and grabs three beers. She makes her way back over to the couch, handing a beer to Will before sitting down, placing the remaining two on the coffee table in front of them before pressing herself up against Jay once again.

He kisses her temple and whispers, "thanks" against her skin, relishing in how her hand instinctively gravitates towards his knee and gives it a squeeze.

"Hey, lovebirds," Will calls out. "Enough of that."

"You're the one who invited both of us," Jay reminds him, pulling Hailey a little closer to him for good measure. "We could have easily stayed home."

"Yeah, but then I wouldn't get to tell Hailey all my embarrassing Jay stories, which I know for a fact she loves."

"I should have never let you meet her," Jay mutters, shaking his head, but he can't help but smile when he hears the laughter of his brother and girlfriend.

"Oh, come on," Hailey jabs at his side. "You love it."

He does. He loves this picture right here, the three of them on the couch, laughing and drinking beer. After his mom died, family was a tricky thing, but here, the three of them, this is easy. The laughter and the love and the give and take, it's so simple and Jay thinks that this is what family is supposed to be.

So, when Will launches into another story from years ago, Jay keeps the complaining to a minimum.

They stay at Will's for a few hours and finish out the game before making their way back to Hailey's for a late dinner.

It's not much, some pasta and store-bought sauce and a salad because Jay insists they have to eat at least one vegetable today, but it's simple and it's sweet and it's enough for them.

"You know, I think your brother likes the memory loss," Hailey calls out, her back turned towards him. She is boiling water at the stove, and he is chopping vegetables on the kitchen island.

He throws his head over his shoulder to glance at her quickly. "What do you mean?"

"He gets to tell me all your embarrassing stories again. He was way too excited about it today."

"You know Will," Jay hums. "He gets excited easily."

"So do you," She chuckles.

He puts down his knife and turns to look at her again and this time, she is already facing him.

"What do you mean by that?"

She takes a few small steps across the kitchen until she is in his space, leaning forward, and just when he thinks he knows what she is going to do, she leans past him and grabs one of the tomatoes he just cut and pops it into her mouth before smirking at him.

"Just mean that you get excited easily," She hums as she makes her way back over to the stove, measuring the pasta like nothing ever happened.

"You're trouble, you know that?"

She snickers again but does not respond, a proud little smile on her face. He watches as she pours the pasta into the boiling water and stirs it around, happily swaying in her spot.

His conversation with his brother today got his mind going into overdrive and just watching her now, it seems to make all of his thoughts a little clearer. It hits him how familiar this feels, how there have been countless nights throughout their time together that looked like this. Them working in tandem to make dinner, her simply swaying in the kitchen, him just watching her.

It's always here, in the quiet of the kitchen, that he notices the little things: the way she bites the inside of her cheek as she tries to make sure she measures the pasta correctly, the way she sways her hips as she stirs the pot and the way she inevitably gets tired of waiting for their dinner to cook and ends up turning the stove up higher.

He watches her standing there and suddenly he is taken back to another night in the kitchen, several months ago, only three weeks into their relationship.

The first time he told her he loved her.

That night looked similar to tonight, them making dinner, her swaying quietly, a smile on her lips. If he closes his eyes, he can remember it all, the way she turned around in surprise, the look on her face, the way she said it back, every little moment.

"I love you."

The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, and maybe it's early, but he doesn't care. Not when he looks at her, here in her kitchen, making a dinner that they are going to share and it feels like they have been doing this for years. Not when he can, finally, kiss her freely and not when the feel of her kiss has become his favorite thing.

Not when he looks at her and he sees four years of being partners, of how she has saved him time and time again. He looks at her and he sees her laughing in the passenger seat of this truck or stealing his pens or comforting him in the locker room or kissing him good morning.

He just watches her in the quiet of the kitchen and all of the sudden, everything he loves about her is so loud. The way she cares about others, the way she is so unapologetic, the way she believes in him. The way she smiles, how she teases him, everything about her.

He looks at her and sees his future and he knows in his bones that he loves Hailey more than anything else.

He swears he has never seen Hailey react so fast, her whole body doing a one-eighty, turning around quickly to make sure she heard him right. There's confusion, and maybe a little bit of hope, on her face that he said what she thought he did.

So, he says it again.

"I love you," Jay says, quiet, but sure, and he just watches as her face changes. At first, there is a shy, hesitant smile that she is trying to suppress, but quickly, it becomes large and wild and uncontained.

"I know it's early and-"

"I love you too," She cuts him off.

"Yeah?" He asks, taking a step forward, hands instinctively reaching for her waist.

She nods and it's barely a second later before his lips are on hers, all thoughts of their dinner forgotten. He knows the feel of her kiss, has memorized the way she moves against him, but something about this, it feels different. Somehow, just knowing that she loves him, having her know that he feels the same, it changes everything in a way he did not know was possible.

The corners of his lips involuntarily curl up at the thought, just like they always do when he thinks of that day. As he replays the scene in his head, all he wants to do right now is tell her those three little words again.

But he knows he can't, he shouldn't.

Not when this is so new to her, not when he knows she is not ready to hear those words.

Jay is aware that Hailey knows, deep down, how he feels about her. He's told her that they were in love before the bombing and he's pretty sure his feelings are written all over his face, but he also knows that given everything they have been through in the past few days, telling her he loves her right now might be a sensory overload.

"Jay," Hailey calls out. "You good?"

He stands there, dumbfounded for a moment, and he gives her a slow nod as she shoots him a strange, confused look, before stirring the pasta again.

The words are on his tongue right now, fighting to make their way out, and he has to fight hard to keep them in. He hates not being able to tell her how he feels. It makes him think of that day, back in the breakroom, right before the bombing, when he didn't get a chance to tell her he loved her.

That day the words were on his lips, but they never left his mouth and before he knew it, his world was falling apart, and he never got to say them again.

It's his biggest regret not telling her he loved her that day. Because right now he wants to tell her he loves her, and he can't.

At least, not yet.

As if on autopilot, he walks across the kitchen and wraps his arms around her body, pulling her back against his chest and holding her tight against him. Surprised, she drops the wooden spoon she was holding onto the counter, her hands coming up to grasp his forearms.

Craning her neck up to look at him, there is a small smile on her face as she says, "Not that I'm complaining, but what's this for?"

"I just missed you," He hums, pressing his cheek against the side of her head.

"You've been with me all day," Hailey chuckles. "How could you miss me?"

Jay shrugs against her. "Just did."

He remembers the night that he told her he loved her, how he wrapped her in his arms, and how they slowly danced around the kitchen, exchanging slow kisses and whispered "I love you's" before finding their way into the bedroom.

The memory makes him miss her, miss how things used to be, how they were supposed to be, but it also reminds him how lucky he is to still have her in his arms after all this time.

She turns in his arms and rests her palms on his chest. "You good?"

He nods. "Perfect."

Even if he misses her, it's the truth.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," He hums. "Just...a happy moment."

That gets her to crack a smile and she raises up on her tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his lips.

"Happy moment." She agrees, before adding. "Day by day?"

"Day by day."

They stand like that for a few moments, wrapped up in each other, before the bubbling of the pasta brings them back to reality and Hailey turns around in his arms yet again, picking up the spoon to stir the pasta in an attempt to prevent it from boiling over.

Jay kisses the back of her head before unwrapping himself from her. Slowly, he makes his way back to the other side of the kitchen, never taking his eyes off of her.

He wants to tell her he loves her, and it hurts him knowing that now is not the right time, but he hopes that one day, the time will be right, and he won't have to swallow those words anymore.

Reviews?

Big shout out one of my tumblr faves thetwit for inspiring the last scene. A while ago, she threw out the idea of jay just watching Hailey cook and reminiscing about all the different things that brought them to where they were and it felt so perfect for the end of this chapter!

See you all next Sunday for Chapter 20!