As always, thanks for reading! I can't believe how close we are to the end. Only a few more chapters left my friends.
Here we go with Chapter 20!
They take the living day by day to heart. There are good days and there are bad days, but they focus on what they can control, and they focus on each other and that's enough to get them through.
Before they know it, two months turns into three and somehow, it has already been twelve weeks since her initial memory loss. Her physical therapy is over and Hailey is seeing Doc Charles only once a week and Voight has even started letting her come into work three to four times a week, depending on her appointments and the amount of help Intelligence needs that week.
And they still wonder about the memories and the future and all of the uncontrollable variables, but they do their best to just take it day by day.
"Who knew paperwork could be so exhausting?" Hailey calls out as she throws herself onto the couch the minute they walk through the door of her apartment late one Monday night.
They just wrapped a particularly long case, one that dragged on the past few days and over the weekend, and honestly seemed like it would never end. It was a drug deal gone wrong and it was all hands on deck, leading to eighteen-hour days and pure exhaustion for the whole team. They finally caught their suspect and got a confession a little after six that day and after doing only the paperwork that was absolutely necessary, Voight told them to leave around eight, citing that they all were too tired to get anything productive done and they could finish the rest of the paperwork in the morning. Beyond exhausted, no one argued.
Jay can see the tiredness in Hailey's eyes, and even if she was not in the field with him, he knows the emotional exhaustion is weighing on her as much as it did the rest of the team. But he's thankful that they got out of work at a somewhat normal time and that they can have a few uninterrupted hours together before they crash for the night.
"I'm gonna be feeling your pain tomorrow," Jay calls out as he wanders into the kitchen, tossing his bag onto the kitchen counter and shrugging off his jacket, throwing it over one of the tall chairs. "I have so many reports to finish up on after this case."
"Voight's letting you go in late, though, right?" She asks and when he turns back to look at her, he smiles, noticing that she is not even looking at him while she talks, instead resting her head on a pillow and laying awkwardly on the couch.
"Yeah, he said to take the morning, come in around eleven."
Hailey hums. "Good. So, you won't be waking me up ridiculously early?"
'No promises there," Jay says flirtatiously.
He hears her groan, and he just laughs before he makes his way across the kitchen and starts rummaging through one of the cupboards, reaching for something on the top shelf.
"Oh, hell no buddy," She chuckles. "I don't care how handsome you are. If you try any funny business before 8:00 am, I'll hurt you."
"Noted," He murmurs, closing the cupboard, flinching when it shuts a little louder than he intended.
"What are you doing?" She calls out and he quickly hides what he was looking for behind him. He throws his head over his shoulder, noticing that she is now sitting up and is looking at him, arms crossed on the back of the couch. She is resting her chin on her folded hands, looking at him with a suspicious gaze.
He pauses his movements, smirking at her. "Turn back around."
"You know where everything is," She states, still watching him. "Are you just making a mess for fun or...?"
"Turn around," He says again with a chuckle, not moving at all from his spot. "I'm getting something and it's a surprise."
Hailey dramatically sighs and turns around on the couch. "We gotta talk about all these surprises."
Jay rolls his eyes and waits a moment to make sure she does not turn around, calling out for good measure, "Don't peak."
"I'm not peaking!" Hailey exclaims, feigning annoyance.
"Yeah, well, you were going to," He shoots back, and he is sure that comment earns him an eye roll from Hailey. "I know you."
She always tries to figure out what he is up to. It's normally pretty cute and he does not mind, but today, he wants to surprise her. After the long few days they have had, they deserve a good night.
Hailey mutters something under her breath that he can't hear, but he just shakes his head in amusement, finishing up his task in the kitchen, reaching up into one of the cabinets for a plate before grabbing his surprise.
A moment later, he comes back into the living room, hands behind his back, with a playful look on his face. He has to try to hold in his laughter when she raises an eyebrow at him skeptically. Slowly, he shows her what he is hiding, moving his hands in front of him to reveal a plate with two cupcakes.
"Cupcakes?"
'And we have beer in the fridge," He says, putting the plate on the coffee table with a smile. "We are celebrating that you finished PT."
"Jay, I finished PT last Tuesday," She reminds him with a chuckle.
"Yeah, well we haven't gotten a chance to celebrate, so we're doing it today," He pretends to be annoyed by her comment, but it is clear that is the farthest thing from what he is feeling. He goes into the kitchen to grab two beers and is making his way back to the living room when he hears her call out.
"When did you even sneak these in?" She laughs. "I'm with you like twenty-four seven."
"I have my ways," He raises his eyebrow suggestively. He comes to sit down next to her, setting both beers on the coffee table.
"Yeah, okay," Hailey mutters under her breath.
Ignoring the smirk on her face, he just hands her the yellow cupcake before he grabs the blue one. She flashes him an appreciative smile and holds up the cupcake for a silent cheer.
"I'm sorry, but Jay 'health-nut Halstead wants to celebrate with cupcakes?" She asks in disbelief as she takes off the wrapper and tosses it at him, the paper hitting him on the cheek before landing on his lap.
"That's not my middle name," He chuckles
She takes a bite of her cupcake and smiles wildly at him. "Well, I don't know your middle name, so-"
"Alexander."
"Jay Alexander," She repeats his name softly, grinning as she does so. "It fits you."
"Whatever you say, Hailey Anne," He murmurs, tossing her wrapper back at her, winking at her when she catches it.
She side-eyes him and he just laughs, leaning back on the couch before taking a bite of his own cupcake. He glances over at her with a smile, amused at how happy she is at such a simple thing.
"So, what exactly brought this on?" She asks after another bite. "Because I know you hate sweets. Why not just have a drink to celebrate?"
"You used to always say that when you celebrated something really important, you were supposed to have something sweet," Jay chuckles, remembering how his sweet-tooth girlfriend used to try to convince him that it was not a real celebration unless there was some super sugary, high in calories treat to go along with it.
He is not a big fan of sugar, but he is a pretty big fan of her, so normally, he just goes with her logic.
"How much were we actually celebrating?" She asks. "I thought you said our lives were boring."
"We did this for your birthday," Jay explains. "And our six month anniversary was two weeks before you lost your memories."
She nods at that last part, humming lightly. Neither of them were the ones to celebrate each month's anniversary. More power to those who did, but it simply was not them. Each month when it rolled around, they acknowledged it and they certainly found their own way to celebrate, but they were not giving each other gifts and doing something fancy each month.
But six months felt like a big deal. For both of them, it was six months of the healthiest relationship they had been in. Six months of being able to balance the personal and the professional relationships. Six months of being with the person they wanted to spend forever with.
So, they celebrated six months. It still was not anything too fancy, because they were not fancy people. They simply ordered a pizza from Bartoli's and spread out some blankets on the floor of her apartment and had a makeshift picnic. At the end of that night, Hailey surprised him with two cupcakes, stating that it was a celebration and they needed to do it right.
He remembers laughing at her but secretly enjoying it. That night, he took a dollop of the frosting from his cupcake and smeared it on her cheek, lighting a fire in her he does not think he has ever seen. She immediately wiped the frosting off her face and put it on his forehead with a proud laugh. He does not remember if either of them actually finished their entire cupcake that night, but he does remember them getting sidetracked with a different celebratory activity.
It is not lost on Jay that their seven, eight, and nine month anniversaries have come and gone. And, what should be their ten month anniversary should be coming up in a little over two weeks. Every time a missed anniversary has popped up, Jay has felt a strange twinge of sadness in his stomach. The first one was the hardest, just two weeks after her initial injury, and he remembers that his head was all over the place that day. Eight months was a little easier and by what should have been their nine month anniversary, it was a little harder to feel sad when he was able to freely kiss her again.
It's different, but it's still good, and he smiles a little at the idea of celebrating more anniversaries in the future, because after all they have been through, all of the months feel like a big deal.
"Hey," Her soft voice pulls him out of his thoughts and it's clear she knows he is overthinking things. "New memories, right?"
"New memories."
She hums happily at his words, finishing the last of her cupcake and crumbling up the wrapper before throwing it on the coffee table next to her untouched beer. There is a satisfied smile on her face, and he thinks that this might be a glimpse into their new normal. It's been a hard few weeks, trying to navigate how this all works when she does not have memories, but looking at her, with a cheesy smile on her face, it makes him see they are starting to figure it all out.
"You're staring," She states simply, and he can feel the corners of his lips curl at her words.
"You've got something-" He points to her chin, even though they both know there is nothing there. He does this almost every time they are having some type of messy treat or she is having a candy bar while doing surveillance. It's a lame move, he knows, but something about this girl always has him acting like a fool.
"Nice try, Halstead." She teases, leaning forward to grab her beer and take a sip.
He takes one last bite of his cupcake before leaning over to drop the wrapper on the coffee table next to hers. Grabbing his beer, he tilts the bottle towards her with a grin. "It's worked before."
"Sure," She mocks, drawing out the word with a flirtatious smile.
There is a comfortable silence as they sip their beers. Their bodies are turned towards each other on the couch and Jay rests his elbow on the back of the couch while Hailey lets her arm stretch out towards him, her fingers playing with the cuffs of his sleeves.
"You know, PT ending means things are starting to go back to normal," She says in a small voice. "Only thing left is my memories."
Every major milestone of her healing has already been met and now they are just waiting on the one that they do not know if it will come. It's hard, being in this hurry up and wait situation, and he knows there is still some lingering sadness and disappointment they are both dealing with and will continue to have to navigate in the coming weeks.
"Normal's overrated. I don't think things have ever really been normal for us," He chuckles. "We've always just done our own thing."
She nods at his words, taking a slow sip of her beer. "When do you think Voight is going to let me back into the field?"
"Soon, hopefully."
Along with her memories, the other unknown is her returning to work full time. At first, they all assumed that by the time Hailey was done with her physical therapy, her memories would have already come back and there would be no problem with clearing her. However, that clearly was not the case and as much as he hates it, he understands the CPD's reservations about putting an officer with amnesia back in the field.
"It's hard to not think about when it's gonna happen," She whispers. "I keep waking up and hoping that it's the day that my memories come back."
"That makes sense," Jay says softly. "I think about it a lot too."
Sometimes, he wakes up and thinks that today's the day. Something will trigger her memories. And, when they go to sleep, he's not disappointed per se, because she is still there next to him, but it sometimes all still just feels heavy.
"Day by day, right?" He breathes out after a moment of quiet. It's not much, but it's all he can offer her. He's got no clue what the future is going to hold and it terrifies the hell out of him, but they've still got today.
She gives him a soft, appreciative smile, before whispering back, "Day by day."
The soft buzzing of his phone pulls Jay out of his sleep and by the tiredness he still feels in his bones, he knows it is not his alarm going off. With a quiet groan, Jay lifts himself up enough to grab his phone off of the bedside table. He sighs when he sees that it is a text from Kim and that he needs to get to work early this morning.
"You catch a case?" Hailey's groggy voice asks him from the other side of the bed. She has her back turned to him and she is curled up, quite content under her blankets, which makes him smile.
"Nah, Kim got a call from a CI." He explains, dropping his phone on his pillow. He leans across the bed and presses a soft kiss against her cheek, listening to her hum in contentment. For a moment, he just watches her, brushing some of her hair out of her face and pulling it behind her neck.
Jay sighs, sitting back up and throwing the blankets off his body carefully so as to not bother Hailey. "Apparently they have something important, so we gotta go meet them in a half-hour."
Hailey hums at his words, wrapping the covers around her body tighter as Jay moves to one of the drawers Hailey cleared out for him about a month into their initial relationship. He grabs jeans, a shirt, and some fresh boxers, glancing back at Hailey who is trying to go back to sleep, but still is wearing a knowing smile on her face.
"You know, when I thought you were going to be waking me up ridiculously early, this is not what I had in mind," She murmurs, scooting a little closer to the middle of the bed, despite his not being there.
"Trust me, this wasn't my plan either," He tells her, throwing a long-sleeved gray shirt over his head. "We were gonna sleep in, spend some time in bed, have a real breakfast, the whole thing."
"That sounds nice," She hums sleepily.
"Another morning, I guess," He mumbles as he puts his arms through the shirt and adjusts the fabric against his chest.
"I don't have to work today," She brags, her eyes still closed. "I get to sleep in."
"I know," He chuckles.
As much as she hates her days off, she always teases him about how she gets to sleep in and stay in the warmth of the bed for just a little bit longer. It's still such a weird feeling, leaving her here while he is going to work and it's a feeling he is not quite sure he will ever get used to.
Honestly, though, he hopes he never does get used to that feeling.
'Beds not quite as warm now though," Hailey mumbles, her eyes starting to open, that sweet smile on her face growing when she sees him standing a few feet away in his boxers and a t-shirt.
"Sorry," He tells her, shrugging on his jeans and shooting her a smile. "I'll tell the CI to not have information so early in the morning next time."
"That's all I ask."
"What time is your session today with Doc Charles?" Jay asks as he moves back to the bedside table that has been unofficially claimed as his and grabs his badge and gun, attaching them to the waistband of his jeans.
"Ten," She murmurs. "Will's off today, but he has to go into the hospital to do something for his trial, so he offered to pick me up."
"Oh, should I be worried?"
Hailey sits up a little in the bed, blankets pooling around her stomach, her messy hair falling over her shoulders. "Probably. He offered to buy lunch too. Might want to step up your game or he's really going to become my favorite Halstead."
He rolls his eyes, giving himself a once-over to make sure he has everything. She smiles at him cheekily and asks, "Forgetting something?"
Jay grins, coming to sit next to her on the edge of the bed. He lets his hand move a strand of hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear before leaning forward to give her a proper good morning kiss. Hailey hums happily against his lips, pushing herself up just enough to lean into him, biting his bottom lip gently with a giggle.
"I meant your phone," Hailey breathes out as she pulls back and rests her forehead against his, her eyes glancing over towards his phone that is still resting on his pillow. "But that works too."
Jay smiles, enjoying the red tint of her cheeks and the twinkle in her eye, giving her one more quick peck before he reaches over her to grab his phone. She attempts to push him off of her, laughing the whole time until he sits back up and puts the phone in his back pocket. "I'll see you later?"
"Yeah," She happily nods before laying back down again, making a show of getting comfy as he just chuckles and stands up, winking at her before he slips out of the bedroom to go to work, already looking forward to coming home to her tonight.
The information Kim's CI had to offer ended up being a bust. It makes Jay a little frustrated that he had to leave the warmth of his bed and the beautiful girl who was still sleeping there so early that morning, but it allowed him to get caught up on some paperwork. And, maybe with the head start he is getting, he'll finish his paperwork early and be able to make up for having to leave Hailey this morning.
It's a slow morning and around 9:15 am, Kim slips off to use the restroom, leaving Jay alone in the bullpen. Voight is downstairs talking to Trudy and the others have not arrived for the day, taking full advantage of their morning off. Rationalizing that it's a slow day, he pulls out his phone to check his messages, noticing that Hailey texted him a few minutes ago.
Hails: I slept in AND had a nice breakfast. It was good but would have been better with a partner ;)
Hails: Also, hope things went well with the CI. Stay safe, see you later.
He starts typing out a quick response to her but then checks the time and figures he has a few minutes to spare before Kim comes back and before Will picks her up for her appointment, so he hits the call button and lifts the phone to his ear, waiting for her voice to come across the line.
"Hey," She answers after the third ring, slightly concerned. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," Jay reassures her. "I just saw your text. Figured it would be easier to call you."
"Smart man," Hailey murmurs softly. "How'd things go with the CI?"
"Oh, they had nothing," Jay chuckles. "Total waste of a morning off."
"That's disappointing," She whispers in a low tone and he can only imagine the knowing grin she is wearing right now.
"You leave for your appointment yet?" He asks, leaning back in his office chair, eyes focused on her desk. He closes his eyes as she answers and lets himself pretend that he is with her instead of having this conversation over the phone.
"Not yet," She says softly. "Will should be here soon. "So, I'm all yours for a few minutes."
"Only a few minutes?"
Her laughter across the phone feels warm and it's enough to get him smiling. "You know what I mean," She says, clearly trying to hide the way his words are affecting her. "Besides, don't you have important police work to be doing? Or is the only way for you to be productive is while simultaneously flirting with me?"
"I mean, the flirting certainly helps. But it's actually a slow morning," He laughs. "Kinda boring over here actually."
"So, that's the real reason you called me?" She says with a chuckle. "You're bored? Here I thought you were trying to be all sweet."
He shakes his head at her words, scanning the bullpen and listening for any sign that Voight or Kim might be coming back. When he doesn't hear anything, he lowers his voice and whispers, "Who says I wasn't trying to be sweet?"
"Nice save," She jokes. "You just doing paperwork today?"
"That's the plan," Jay says. "Maybe I'll actually get out of here at a normal time and we can do something tonight. Make up for our plans this morning."
He can practically see her smile right now, the way her dimples grow, and the way her bright blue eyes shine.
"Deal." She pauses and he hears the buzzing of her phone before she says, "Hey, Will is here, I gotta go. Be safe today, okay?"
"Doing paperwork?" He scoffs.
"You never know with you," She laughs. "I'm sure you could find a way to get hurt."
"Whatever," Jay mumbles, trying to suppress his smile, but he is sure Hailey can hear it right through the phone. "Have a good appointment, okay? I'll see you tonight?"
"Tonight," She agrees with a hum. "I can't wait."
"Me either. Bye Hailey."
"Bye, Jay," she says softly before ending the call.
The bullpen is still empty and he takes a moment to relish in the silence, replaying his conversation with Hailey in his head. He wishes that she was sitting across from him right now, smirking at him and stealing his pens and that he could flirt with her in person instead of over the phone. And, of course, he still wishes that she could go out into the field with him, but maybe that's the only thing that has changed.
Because she still is teasing him and she still cares about him and she still wants him. Between knowing that and thinking about seeing her tonight, it's enough to make Jay smile like an idiot for the next few hours.
The whole day ends up being a slow one. Adam and Kevin roll in around 11:00 am with coffee and donuts for everyone and they are even able to treat themselves to a bit longer of a lunch break. Being in-between cases, they spend the day doing paperwork and organizing old files, and doing all of the things that they typically do not have time to do. It's not Jay's favorite way to spend the day, but after all of the chaos they have had recently, it's much needed.
Around four in the afternoon, Voight calls Jay into his office to talk about some plans for the next few weeks and some different leadership topics. It is no secret that Voight is grooming Jay to take over the unit within the next few years. It is something the Sergeant has brought up several times and over the past few months, he has given Jay more and more responsibility. However, since Hailey lost her memories, the conversation of Jay's future has been put on hold. Voight knew that Jay already had a lot on his plate and thankfully, the man gave him some space to figure out his personal life without the added stress of more changes at work.
But as things are starting to go back to normal, Jay is thankful that Voight is starting to entrust him with more responsibilities again. If he is honest, the idea of running this unit originally scared him, but it was Hailey who pushed him to seriously consider it. She told him time and time again that he was destined for greater things. He knew the only way he was going to take over Intelligence, however, was if she was his number two and was leading the team along with him. Now that she is starting to get better and is closer to potentially being back to work full time, it means that that future could maybe be a reality.
As they wrap up their conversation, Voight leans back in his chair with a huff. "How's Upton doing?"
"Good," Jay says. "PT finished up last week, she's feeling good.
"Jay," the older man cocks his head to the side knowingly, waiting for Jay to tell him what he really wants to know.
Jay knows he is not asking about how she is doing physically. Voight gets all of those updates and talks to her team of doctors quite often. The older cop wants to know how she is actually doing, how the two of them are dealing with all of this.
"Honestly, Sarge?" Jay breathes out. "She amazes me every day. I mean, there are rough days for both of us, but she's really pushing through this. If it was me, I couldn't handle this half as well as Hailey has."
"Doesn't surprise me," Voight chuckles. "She's strong, determined. It makes her a hell of a cop. It's why I hired her."
"She still would like to go out in the field though-" Jay says, almost jokingly, even though both he and Voight know it's very much the truth.
"I know. It's where I want her too. But there are certain hoops we have to jump through."
"I know." Jay sighs. He knows Voight is doing all he can and he has faith that if anyone can get her back out in the field, it's Voight.
"How are you doing with all of this?" Voight questions. It is not typical for him and Voight to talk about their personal lives, but with everything going on, Voight has been mindful of checking in on the detective every now and then. With the rest of the unit not knowing about his relationship with Hailey and how deeply everything going on is affecting him, Jay is thankful that Voight has been so supportive.
"Good." He answers truthfully. "I mean, it's rough some days, but we are figuring it out."
"Good," Voight says matter of factly, and Jay can tell that's the end of that conversation. The Sergeant leans forward to reach for a file on his desk before nodding to Jay. "I forgot to mention earlier, there are some new policies the superintendent's office sent over. They go into effect at the end of the month. I want you to look them over."
Jay nods and takes the file from him, flipping open the manilla folder and skimming through the many pages inside. Voight makes a few comments about the different rules and forms that Jay is looking through as the detective reads, explaining what has been changed and how it affects the Intelligence Unit.
A knock at the door pulls the two of them out of their conversation. Adam is standing in the doorway, a cell phone in hand.
"Sorry to interrupt, but Jay, your phone has been going off nonstop for the past fifteen minutes," Adam takes a step forward to hand Jay his cell phone. "I didn't mean to be nosy, but I saw a couple of missed calls from Will."
Jay feels his breath hitch. It's not like Will to call multiple times unless there is a damn good reason. He knows Will was supposed to be with Hailey today. Did something happen? Did she have a bad session? Her session was over six hours ago, so if something happened, why did Will wait so long to let him know? Did something happen later in the day? Was she hurt? Were both of them hurt?
"Go," Voight ushers him out and Jay quickly hands him back the folder before he makes his way out of his boss's office and into the break room to call his brother.
Will picks up on the first ring and Jay is quick to speak. "What's wrong? Are you and Hailey okay?"
"We're fine-"
"Then what happened?" Jay cuts him off.
"Jay...she had her session with Doc Charles and-"
"Will, just tell me," Jay says impatiently.
"Jay, she remembers."
Reviews?
So, there we have it, folks! Hailey remembers! I have known since I started writing the fic that this was how it was going to go down, but it has been so fun to see everyone's theories about whether or not she was going to get her memories back and if she did, how. I'll see you next week to find out how she actually got those memories back!