A/N: Hey :) I just felt like writing Friendship Upstead again plus I wanted to give some backstory for something I'm gonna write down the line, so this was born, and I hope you like it :) Season 7…

When Will texted Hailey asking her to pick-up Jay from physical therapy because he was getting pulled into a surgery, she accepted without even seeing if it was okay that she leave work early.

She had stayed with him the first night after he got home and been checking up on him since then, but she still felt like she needed to be there more.

He was alive, and she was grateful, so she needed to keep seeing him with her own two eyes to truly confirm that Jay Halstead was alive and kicking –

And complaining about nurses and doctors.

Jay was waiting in the vestibule of the physical therapy center when Hailey pulled her car up. She wasn't expecting him to be waiting there for her and instantly felt bad that maybe she was late.

He quickly walked through the cold with his jacket hanging from his good arm and the other still in the black sling Hailey was still getting used to. He opened the passenger door to clumsily fall into the seat.

"Thanks," he muttered while closing the door against the cold.

"Sorry I'm late," Hailey said and helped him buckle the seatbelt.

"No, you're good, I called it early," Jay leaned his head back and used his jacket like a blanket.

Hailey raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"I'm sick of that place," Jay shrugged as much as he could, "An hour is way too long. They didn't even help me put my jacket on and it's freaking cold."

Hailey smirked, "Jay."

He waved his hand, "I'm good. I was doing stuff like squeezing a stress ball and lifting my arm above my head. It's all stuff I can do at home, really. I'm not concerned."

"But at home you don't have a doctor watching you making sure you don't get hurt," Hailey pointed out.

Jay shook his head, "I've done enough physical therapy in my life, I'll be fine."

Hailey sighed and turned on his heated seat, "You're still going though."

"I know," Jay nodded, "I'm not going to skip out, Will would throw a fit and I'm getting the feeling that you would do."

"Yeah, I would," Hailey reached over to grab his jacket and help him get it around his other shoulder. As she was pulling it around him, her hand brushed something cool on the back of his neck, and she glanced at it to see he was wearing some sort of chain. "Are you wearing your badge?" she asked.

"No," Jay finished getting comfortable in the seat, "Thanks, that's much better. Stupid nurse."

Hailey rolled her eyes and started driving, "Be nice."

"I'm super nice," Jay said, "I'm the most pleasant person in that place."

Hailey scoffed, "Oh? Oh, really?"

"Yes," Jay nodded, "It was me and some really old guy who just had a knee replacement. That is something I never want to experience. He was in pain."

"Were you in pain?" Hailey asked.

"Uh," Jay hesitated, "Just a little. The hand stuff didn't hurt, but raising my arm up is pretty painful."

"All right, we'll get you some ice then at your apartment," Hailey said.

"They already iced it there, I'm fine," Jay looked out the window.

"Extra ice will be fine," Hailey glanced at him as she drove, "It's just been a couple days since you came home, it's okay that you still need help."

Jay stiffened in his seat then blew out a breath. His hand came up to his chest and lightly trailed his fingers along whatever was connected to that chain around his neck.

"When's your next appointment?" Hailey asked softly.

"Thursday morning," Jay answered without looking at her, but not stopping his fingers from playing with the thing under his shirt.

"All right, I'll take the day off and go with you," Hailey said.

"You really don't have to," Jay shook his head.

"Is Will able to take you?" Hailey asked.

"Probably," Jay shrugged as best he could, "Or I could take an Uber or the bus."

Hailey couldn't help but laugh, "The bus? Really? You hate public transportation."

"I do not," Jay rolled his eyes, "It's early enough in the morning, though, that there might not be a lot of people on it."

"How early?" Hailey slowed her car to a stop at the red light.

"My appointment's at seven," Jay rested his head back.

Hailey's eyes widened, "Are you serious? Why?"

"I told you, I want this over with," Jay said, "I'm not going to sit around in my apartment all day moping waiting for my appointment. I'd rather do it first thing so that I-"

"Can sit around in your apartment and mope?" Hailey pursed her lips.

"You know, I'd rather Kim picks me up next time I need a ride," Jay shot back, "She's not as sassy as you."

Hailey laughed softly and began driving again when the light turned green, "Jay, I'm being serious though, what are you planning on doing after physical therapy?"

Jay shook his head and stared out the window. He mumbled something and again reached for the chain around his neck.

Hailey frowned slightly and continued the quiet drive back to Jay's apartment. Once parked, she stepped out to follow him up to his place. He struggled getting the key from his pocket, but Hailey sensed he wouldn't want help, so she patiently waited beside him until they were inside.

Jay yanked the jacket from his arm and gasped in pain.

"Hey, hey," Hailey said softly and darted forward to put a gentle hand on the back of his shoulder, "Slow down."

"Just pissed off," Jay threw the jacket at his couch groaning when he completely missed.

"I know," Hailey kept a hand on his back as she bent down to grab his jacket, "Sit here. I'll grab you more ice."

"I'm fine, Hailey," Jay snapped.

She raised an eyebrow then pointed toward the couch, "Now, Jay."

He glared at her, but gave in and sat. He tried to be quiet, yet the soft hiss of pain still slipped from his lips.

Hailey watched him once again grab at the chain around his neck before turning to go in his kitchen. Will had told her he'd set up a few icepacks in the freezer which is exactly what she grabbed. Breaking the ice up in the bag, she walked back to the living room and sat next to Jay on the couch.

"It's going to hurt, but just relax," she said quietly. Jay's jaw set as she slipped the sling off of his arm. Her fingers lightly brushed against the back of his neck before she placed the bag of ice on his shoulder. She helped hold it to him as gently as she could to avoid it falling off once he sunk further into the cushions.

"I'm sorry," Jay whispered around the time Hailey's fingers began to go numb, "I'm taking my frustration out on you when you've been nothing but…amazing." He shifted as best he could to meet her eyes, "Really, Hailey, I'm sorry."

She smiled slightly and nodded, "I know."

They fell into a silence – Hailey trying not to nudge Jay too much as she shifted the ice over his shoulder and Jay trying not to focus on the feeling of Hailey's fingers brushing against him.

"You can come Thursday," Jay eventually said, "I'd appreciate it." He rubbed his hand over his chest and took a deep breath, "But maybe don't actually watch? And you don't have to take the whole day off."

Hailey laughed softly, "I can do that."

"Thanks," Jay smiled.

"Mhmm," Hailey blushed enough that Jay noticed, but he didn't say anything and just leaned into the ice more which happened to mean he also leaned into her.

Neither of them minded the closer contact.

On Thursday morning, Hailey showed up at Jay's apartment ten minutes earlier than he'd asked, but she did it so she could help him get his coat on and make sure his shoes were actually tied.

It just caught Jay off guard, so when she opened his front door and saw him slipping something over his head, he looked at her with wide eyes. "What're you doing?" he asked.

Hailey grabbed his shoes and coat, "Good morning to you too. I'm here to help you out. I didn't want to hear complaints about the cold."

Jay rolled his eyes, but still walked over and accepted her help getting his coat on, "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Hailey spotted the same chain she'd noticed before around his neck, yet said nothing and just knelt down in front of him with his shoes, "Feet up."

"This is a little humiliating," Jay said.

Hailey tapped his ankles, "I'm tired of seeing you walk around with loose laces. You're going to trip and hurt yourself even more, so up."

Jay groaned quietly, but moved to sit on a barstool and watched her quickly slip his shoes on then tie them for him. "Thank you," he said under his breath.

"Not a problem," Hailey smiled while straightening up, "And don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you need your partner to tie your shoes for you."

Jay chuckled, "Thanks. I have a reputation to uphold."

"Uh-huh," Hailey laughed, "Come on, we don't want to be late."

Jay started leading the way out of his apartment, "But maybe if we're late, then I can do less work."

"Because you love not being on time," Hailey teased as she closed and locked his door.

Jay rolled his eyes with a laugh, "Fair."

"You're forgetting that I know you," Hailey smiled.

"You do," Jay nodded, "So you also know that I'm not looking forward to this."

"I do," Hailey walked with him down to the car, "You'll be fine, though, it's just physical therapy."

Jay scoffed, "It's not just physical therapy. It's a doctor's office and admitting that I screwed up to even get me in the situation."

Hailey hesitated at the door of his building, "Jay."

He shook his head, "It's fine. Thanks again for driving me." He stepped outside and headed over to her car.

Hailey let out a long breath before following him and getting in the car. They didn't talk during the drive to Med. The soft classical music Hailey enjoyed listening to was the only sound cocooning the car so early in the morning.

Once there, Jay led the way up to the physical therapist. He checked in then nodded toward the waiting room chairs, "You can wait there if you want or you can go get food or something. You don't have to come back with me."

Hailey smiled slightly and nodded, "Got it."

Jay took a deep breath and looked around. Hailey sensed he was nervous by the way he was rocking back and forth on his heels and how his free hand tugged at his jacket. She'd seen him drunk and watched him cry. She'd had him struggle to breathe underneath her own hands more than she'd like to admit. They'd spent days stuck in each other's bathrooms with food poisoning. She'd assume that any fear of vulnerability would have disappeared by now, but she got it. She knew no one liked having a friend see them at a low point, even if that 'low point' was normal and not a big deal.

"Jay, nice to see you again," the doctor said as he stepped in the waiting room.

Hailey sat in one of the chairs and waved, "I'll be here."

"Thanks," Jay breathed before following the doctor to the back.

Hailey slipped down and got as comfortable as she could for the next hour. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. Occasionally, her mind slipped to the latest case at work, other times she thought about what she was going to order for dinner with Vanessa, but mostly she thought about Jay.

What he was doing in the back. If he was sleeping at night. That chain around his neck.

She'd never seen it before and had absolutely no idea what it could be if it wasn't his badge. Jay had never been one for wearing any sort of accessories besides his watch, so she couldn't even think of what could suddenly be important enough that he needed to wear every day.

An hour had finally passed and the doctor returned to the waiting room sans Jay to tell Hailey he was in the back icing his arm. She was surprised that he told her a little about Jay and assumed he had been given permission to share with her. She thanked him before slipping back and going to find Jay.

She walked through the large room until she approached the only curtains that were closed. She stepped behind them to see Jay sitting on the bed with his arm resting on a bolster and ice around his shoulder. He barely glanced up at her and mumbled, "Hey."

"Hey," she replied softly, "How'd it go?"

Jay shrugged slightly with his good arm, "Fine."

Hailey hummed while sitting on the stool to his right, "Something happen?"

Jay hesitated then sighed, "Too much touching for me, but what're you gonna do?"

Hailey raised an eyebrow, "You could start with not getting shot."

Jay paused long enough that Hailey thought she may have crossed a line, but then he said, "Oh, so she's got jokes this morning."

Hailey laughed, "Mhmm. It's been a week, I think I can ease into the teasing now."

"Great," Jay chuckled while leaning back. He let out a soft groan and closed his eyes. His right hand reached through the neck of his shirt to pull out that silver chain. He squeezed whatever it was connected to then tucked it back where it had been. Glancing to his watch, he said, "Ready to go?"

Hailey tore from any thoughts she started having about the chain to the physical therapist telling her about him staying around to ice his shoulder just moments before. She laughed and shook her head, "Not yet, you still have a bit. Doctor said ten minutes."

Jay glared toward the closed curtain, "He told you that? I thought he'd just tell you I was getting better."

"He said that too," Hailey nodded, "But sit back and relax. Talk to me. Tell me what you did."

Jay rolled his eyes before looking at her, "Just some exercises, I don't know, small weights, stretches, that kind of stuff."

Hailey crossed her arms, "Are you doing them at home?"

"Yes," Jay quickly answered, "This needs to be over with ASAP."

A hint of a smile crossed Hailey's face, "Well, I'm glad. What do you want to do for breakfast?"

Jay froze slightly, "Breakfast?"

"Yeah, I'm hungry," Hailey nodded, "I woke up at six to get your ass here on time and don't have to be at work till ten, we're going to breakfast."

Jay softened with a laugh, "Okay then. You want waffles?"

"I'd love waffles," Hailey smiled.

"Feel like that place around the corner from my apartment?" Jay asked.

"Those are decent enough," Hailey leaned forward to rest her elbows on the bed.

"Oh, I'm glad my diner has waffles fit for the princess," Jay teased.

Hailey laughed softly, "I'm picky."

"I know," Jay blew out a breath, "But it's fine, you can be picky."

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day," Hailey said.

Jay snorted then rolled his eyes, "I don't think waffles is always the answer to that."

"Eh," Hailey shrugged, "It's a good sugar rush."

"Yeah," Jay smiled at her. His hand reached out slightly toward her, but then ended up just resting near her elbow.

Hailey took a deep breath and set her hand next to his so her pinky was barely touching his pointer finger. She tilted her head to the side to watch Jay; he didn't meet her eyes as he overlapped their fingers. Hailey bit back a smile and looked down at her lap until the doctor came to tell them they were good to leave.

Breakfast was filled with light teasing on Hailey's part when Jay had a hard time cutting up his waffle, but she was careful not to push too hard and to follow Jay's lead with it all. They kept the conversation on safe topics like Kim bringing Jay a ham dinner and Hailey staining her favorite sweatpants. Hailey knew talking about work was a touchy subject with Jay itching to go back while also hating thinking about what had happened. She knew him.

Which is why it continued bothering her that she had no idea why he was suddenly wearing some sort of necklace chain. She managed to not think about it for a while, but then it would catch the glint of the sun or Jay's hand would absentmindedly play with it and it'd take over any and all thoughts she was having.

She didn't bring it up, though, not with several people coming in and out of the diner. She didn't know what exactly it was, but if it was something personal like she expected, she knew Jay wouldn't want to talk about it freely – especially since he hadn't brought it up himself yet.

She waited until they were back in his apartment and she'd helped him out of his jacket to ask: "So what exactly are you wearing?"

Jay's eyes widened and he glanced down at his outfit, "What?"

Hailey laughed and plopped down on the couch, "Around your neck. I've been waiting to see if you're going to tell me, and you haven't, so now I'm asking."

"Oh," Jay reached in his shirt again, "Um…" He took a deep breath then slipped the chain from his neck while sitting next to her. He hesitated then placed it in her hand.

Hailey raised an eyebrow before looking down at what he'd handed her. She immediately felt chills cover her.

Jay had handed her dog tags.

She sensed they were his before she even read his last name at the top.

Her thumb brushed over the cool metal as she shakily breathed in. She didn't know what she was expecting, but his military dog tags was not it. His name, social security number, blood type, and religion all stamped in each one. It was a harsh reminder of his life before becoming a cop.

She'd talked to him about his PTSD and helped him with nightmares and even bought him a weighted blanket, but it all felt like nothing compared to those two tags.

"Why-"

"They're-"

Both of their voices were quiet and hesitant as they broke the silence.

"You first," Hailey breathed.

Jay nodded and continued staring where his dog tags sat in her hand. "They're my dog tags," he explained. He cleared his throat before quietly continuing, "When you're in the military, you have to wear them in case something happens to you. If you die, your unit takes one to bring back and the other stays on you. I've had to personally take nine off of other soldiers."

Hailey bit her lip and sensed her head subconsciously shake in pain at the thought.

"Some guys wear them every day when they come home as a reminder that they're alive," Jay said, "I…I don't. Wearing them sometimes gives me this feeling that I'm back there. I've found that it's a little harder to stay in the present if I have them on, so I just don't. Only exception is when I've been hurt. I don't know. It's that whole 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' thing. Kind of reminds me to be brave and that I'll get through whatever it is." He rubbed his fist under his nose then managed to look up and meet Hailey's eyes. He tried to smile, but just ended up shrugging.

"When…um," Hailey took another deep breath, "When was the last time you put them on?"

"Uh…" Jay squinted his eyes slightly then nodded, "Few years back when I was kidnapped. It was before you came around."

Hailey closed her eyes. Kim had told her about it when they'd gone out for drinks after they'd been kidnapped. She hadn't gone into the gory details, but she'd made it clear it was very bad. She even mentioned Adam had had a nightmare over watching some sort of video of Jay being tortured.

Before he'd been shot, she hated that she found Jay with blood dripping down his face struggling to properly walk and stand up straight. She didn't know how she would have acted if they'd been sent a video depicting how exactly he sustained those injuries.

Jay shifted next to her and wiped his hand over the couch. "That was bad," he added under his breath.

Hailey nodded and opened her eyes.

"I survived though," Jay said, "Survived two tours, couple gunshots, being kidnapped a few times, more injuries than I can even count, a handful of bounties…I survived. I don't know why the universe has given me so many chances, but I'm here and I can't give up even if some days I really want to."

Hailey's shoulders slumped and she whispered, "You want to give up?"

"I…no," Jay sighed, "Well…I hate that I've made mistakes. All those things I just said, most of them were my doing." He hesitated then grabbed his dog tags from Hailey's hand.

She followed his fingers and grabbed his thumb.

Jay raised an eyebrow, but still flipped his hand over.

Hailey took a deep breath and intertwined their fingers briefly before gently hugging him. It was their first hug in a long time – slightly awkward because of Jay's sling and because it was them… it also felt heavy like there were several emotions behind it.

Hailey tried to find the words to express those emotions, but nothing came out except quiet breaths.

"I know," Jay whispered when he heard her, "I know, thank you." His hand lightly rubbed over her shirt before resting on the back of her head.

Hailey blinked back tears she knew would make Jay more uncomfortable than he already might be. She didn't need him to say it outright to know he didn't always like talking about his past.

But like he'd said the year before, the war was a part of his past and wasn't who he was anymore. It didn't mean, though, that he wasn't still a soldier deep down. Sometimes he needed that reminder of where he came from and what led him to certain moments and that was okay.

Hailey's heart beating quickly against his chest was a good reminder of that along with the dog tags still held tightly in his fist.