"Here we go," said Clark, picking up his next question card. "Watching now as an adult, I realize all my favourite '80s cartoons have subtle references to _."
"God, the amount of shows with anthropomorphic animals back then," said Bruce. "It's no wonder the furry fandom took off."
"There weren't that many, were there?" asked Barry.
"DuckTales, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, SuperTed, Care Bears, Thundercats, Gummi Bears," listed Bruce. "I can keep going if you want."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, and it sounds like I don't want to know," said Diana, playing her card.
"Trust me, you don't," said Victor, also playing his card, followed by the others.
"Well, let's hope your answers don't reflect that topic of conversation," said Clark, picking up the first answer. "Watching now as an adult, I realize all my favourite '80s cartoons have subtle references to beating the ugly child."
"Well, we're off to an amazing start for this round," said Arthur. "The good news is, we can only go up from here."
"Not in this game," said Bruce.
"Oh God, I hope not," said Clark, reading the next card. "Watching now as an adult, I realize all my favourite '80s cartoons have subtle references to respecting my authoritah!"
"Nah, that one was from the 90's," said Barry.
"And is also something you probably shouldn't have been watching from the 90's," said Bruce.
"I found it amusing everyone assumed it was fine for kids because it's a cartoon, then they actually watched it," said Arthur.
"The 90's were certainly an interesting time," said Clark, picking up his next answer. "Watching now as an adult, I realize all my favourite '80s cartoons have subtle references to cigarettes."
"Gotta start 'em young," said Arthur, getting slapped by Diana.
"To be fair, a lot of 80's shows were made with the intention of selling something," said Bruce. "Though when you consider things like The Snorks and The Trap Door, the thing they were selling may have been drugs."
"Yeah, that's definitely something they were on," said Clark, picking up the next answer. "Watching now as an adult, I realize all my favourite '80s cartoons have subtle references to almost giving money to a homeless person."
"Yeah, why teach kids to be charitable?" asked Bruce. "It's not like that's the right thing to do or something."
"How much of your money do you give away?" asked Victor.
"…no comment," said Bruce.
"Okay, and finally…" said Clark, reading the last answer. "Watching now as an adult, I realize all my favourite '80s cartoons have subtle references to an endless stream of diarrhea."
"Whoever played that better take that back," said Bruce. "Those cartoons may have been weird as shit, but they were glorious."
"Agreed. That one doesn't win," said Clark, getting a disappointed look from Diana. "I'm also ruling out the South Park one for being the wrong decade."
"Damn it," said Victor.
"As for who does win…" started Clark. "Hmm…who had cigarettes?"
"The speedster takes the lead," said Barry, taking his point.
"So, let's see what I've got for you?" said Bruce, picking up his question card. "Hello. My name is Elder Price, and I would like to share with you the most amazing _."
"Everyone remember to slam the door on Bruce after he reads an answer," said Clark, picking out a card.
"Am I just going to be asking you musical based questions for the whole game?" asked Bruce.
"Hey, I'm getting much nastier questions than you, don't complain," said Diana, playing her card.
"Well, as long as I don't have to sing them," said Bruce, as the last cards were played. "Hello. My name is Elder Price, and I would like to share with you the most amazing lawsuits."
"Something those guys are probably very familiar with," said Victor.
"I'm just disappointed they haven't asked me to voice myself in their show yet," said Bruce, drawing his next card. "Hello. My name is Elder Price, and I would like to share with you the most amazing questionable bromances."
"Isn't that the entire plot of the musical?" asked Barry.
"Indeed it is," said Bruce, picking his next card. "Hello. My name is Elder Price, and I would like to share with you the most amazing Zyklon B."
"And now we've made Mormons into cultists," said Arthur. "All that they're missing now is the Kool-Aid."
"Jesus Christ Arthur, nine hundred people died from that," said Bruce, drawing another answer. "Hello. My name is Elder Price, and I would like to share with you the most amazing lactating nipples."
"Wh…why? Why are they into that?" asked Barry. "I'm sure that's not what Jesus would have wanted."
"Diana, you're older than Jesus. Did you ever meet him, and was he into that?" asked Arthur.
"There's so many things in that to be offended by that I'm not even sure which one I'm going to hit you for," said Diana.
"While you're doing that, let's see what the last answer is," said Bruce, picking up the last card. "Hello. My name is Elder Price, and I would like to share with you the most amazing crime scene sex."
"Please do not contaminate crime scenes like this," said Barry. "I'm the one who has to figure out what was there during the crime."
"Fine, I'll contaminate the crime scene in other ways," said Arthur.
"And while Arthur commits a felony," said Bruce. "I'm gonna pick my winner. Who had questionable bromances?"
"I am just killing it today," said Barry, claiming yet another point.
"Damn it man, stop kicking our asses," said Bruce. "Diana, give him a hard question."
Diana picked up her next card and read it for the group. "Along with something borrowed and something blue, be sure to take _ with you down the aisle," she read.
"Don't need the old and new then?" asked Victor.
"Apparently not," said Bruce, choosing his card.
Barry looked at his cards with a look of frustration, before playing one. "It's not gonna win, but it's the best I've got," he said, getting a cheer from the rest of the table.
"Okay, if we're all ready to go, let's see if we can find how bad Barry's card is," said Diana, picking up the first answer. "Along with something borrowed and something blue, be sure to take surprise sex with you down the aisle."
"I thought that was for AFTER the wedding," said Bruce.
"Are you objecting to it being DURING the wedding," said Arthur.
"I didn't say I was," said Bruce.
"You're both disgusting, did you know that?" asked Diana, picking up the next answer. "Along with something borrowed and something blue, be sure to take a training bra with you down the aisle."
"Aren't those just for girls as they're starting puberty?" asked Clark. "Why would you bring one of those down the aisle with you?" The group sat in an uncomfortable silence for a moment thinking about the implications of that statement.
"Should I move on?" asked Diana.
"Please do," said Barry.
"Moving on," said Diana, picking the next card. "Along with something borrowed and something blue, be sure to take soiled diapers with you down the aisle."
"Just so you both know what's in store if you have kids," said Bruce.
"Hey, maybe they're into that?" suggested Arthur.
"I believe that's called crinkling," said Barry.
"Why do you know what that's called?" asked Bruce.
"…no comment…" said Barry, realising he may have said too much.
"So we don't have to think too hard about what the might mean, let's move on," said Diana, picking up the next card. "Along with something borrowed and something blue, be sure to take upside down frowns with you down the aisle."
"I guess it is pretty depressing getting married," said Arthur, ducking his head as Diana attempted to slap him.
"I think he's learning," said Bruce.
"Not the right things, unfortunately," said Diana, picking up the last card. "Along with something borrowed and something blue, be sure to take a 100-pound teenager who thinks she's fat with you down the aisle."
"She's not the one wearing the training bra, is she?" asked Barry.
"Barry, think very carefully about anything you intend to say for the next couple of minutes," said Diana, hand on the hilt of her sword. Barry gulped, but stayed quiet. "Smart boy. Now, who had surprise sex?"
"Do you mean the card, or…" started Arthur, again dodging a blow from Diana.
"That was my card, Diana," said Clark, claiming another point.
"Okay, my turn," said Arthur, reading his question card. "Why so serious? _. That's why." Arthur looked up and saw Bruce looked a bit shellshocked. "Hey Bats, are you okay over there?"
"Yeah, fine," he said quickly. "The question…reminded me of something, is all. Nothing important."
"Right…" said Arthur, not convinced as he watched the cards get played. "Well, if you're sure…"
"I'm fine," said Bruce, a little too forcefully.
Arthur wasn't convinced, but decided not to argue with him. "Well, let's see what you've got for me," he said as he picked up the first answer and read it for the group. "Why so serious? An upgraded Sybian. That's why. What's a Sybian?"
"Here, I have a video," said Barry, pulling out his phone.
"Why the fuck do you have a video of that?" asked Victor.
"That's my business, not yours," said Barry, playing the video for Arthur.
"Nope, I'm with the robot on this. Why the fuck do you have a video of that?" asked Arthur, somewhat disgusted at what he was seeing but unable to turn away.
"I think we all know why Barry has a video of that," said Diana. "Out of curiosity, do you think we can get some of those to Themyscira?"
"Ironically, I don't think Amazon delivers there," said Bruce.
"It's a shame a certain billionaire doesn't realise the potential marketplace of my homeland," said Diana, eyeing Bruce as she said it.
"I am not Jeff Bezos," said Bruce. "I actually pay my employees."
"If you're quite finished," said Arthur, picking up the next card. "Why so serious? Death. That's why. Little bit morbid there."
"Oh, like that's even close to the worst thing we've had today," said Victor.
"Yeah, I suppose," said Arthur, picking up the next card. "Why so serious? Susan, that bitch. That's why."
"Damn it Susan, what did she do now?" asked Bruce.
"Something bitchy, that's for sure," said Clark.
"One day she'll see the error of her bitchy ways," said Arthur. "For now though, I have more cards to read." Arthur drew the next card and read it for the group. "Why so serious? Because you touch yourself at night. That's why."
"Are you using the Sybian?" asked Barry.
"Just…no, Barry," said Arthur. "Never speak of it again."
"Sorry," said Barry, looking ashamed.
"You should be," said Arthur, picking up his last card. "And finally, we have: Why so serious? God's plan. That's why."
"Having met several gods, you're going to have to be more specific," said Diana. "Ares, for example, is a complete dick."
"Fair enough," said Arthur. "Anyway, I need to pick a winner." Arthur considered his options for a moment, before picking his favourite. "Who had Susan?"
"That would be me," said Diana, collecting a point.
"What did she do to you?" asked Bruce.
"That bitch knows what she did," said Diana. "Okay Barry, what have you got for us?"
"My new YouTube channel is called _," read Barry. "For a small fee, I'll start a channel based on the winner."
"I'm sure I can arrange that," said Bruce, playing his card. "Everyone, play your worst possible cards."
"Already planning on it," said Victor.
"…I may regret saying that now," said Barry, as each of the others played their cards, all with various sinister looking expressions on their faces.
"Too late, you already said you would," said Arthur. "Read them, I dare you."
Barry sighed as he picked up the first card. "My new YouTube channel is called Showing All the Boys My Pussy," said Barry. "Off to a great start, aren't we?"
"Plot twist: it's all cat videos," suggested Bruce. "That's half of what's on YouTube anyway, so why not?"
"Now that's something I can get behind," said Barry, picking up the next card. "My new YouTube channel is called Self-Popping Pimples."
"For the love of God, don't do that one," said Clark.
"Which one?" asked Diana.
"Any of them, probably," said Victor.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I don't want to do that," said Barry. "I mean, I could probably move fast enough to make it seem like they're popping by themselves…"
"STOP MAKING IT WORSE!" yelled Arthur.
"Okay, okay, sheesh," said Barry, picking up another card. "My new YouTube channel is called Voyeurism."
"I knew you were a pervert," said Arthur.
"You can't prove that," said Barry.
"You move so fast that no-one would know you were there," said Victor. "You can't tell me you wouldn't use that power for nefarious purposes."
"But like I said, you can't prove that," said Barry, getting some odd looks from the others. "Umm…let's move on, shall we?" Barry quickly picked up the next card and read it before anyone could say anything about what had been implied. "My new YouTube channel is called Eating the Last Known Rhinoceros."
"Well, since the species is already dead, you might as well put it to some use," said Arthur with a shrug.
"Would rhino meat even taste good?" asked Bruce. "It seems like it would be really tough to chew."
"I assumed with your money, you'd have already tried it once," said Clark.
"I'm rich, not a monster," said Bruce.
"Still, if you do get your hands on some, I'd be curious," said Barry, now getting a very different kind of look from the others. "Okay, last answer: My new YouTube channel is called My Husband."
"Who's the lucky man?" asked Arthur, smirking.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," said Barry. "But unless you had the cat video channel, you don't win."
"And now begins my comeback," said Bruce, claiming his first point.
"Holy crap, I forgot you were playing," said Arthur. "Okay Victor, give us a question."
"When I was a kid, I learned geography by playing lots and lots of 'Where in the World Is _?'" said Victor.
"I've always wondered how she managed to steal the things she did," said Bruce. "Like the Grand Canyon, or the steps to the tango."
"I don't think you're meant to think about it too hard," said Clark.
Meanwhile, Barry was looking through his cards with a frustrated look on his face. "Hey Vic, can you change 'is' to 'are' when you get to my one?" he asked.
"Does anyone else need me to do that?" asked Victor.
"Nah, I'm good," said Arthur, playing his card.
"Same," said Clark.
"I think I'll be fine," said Bruce.
"Looks like you're the only one Barry," said Diana, placing her card with the others.
"I mean, I'll still do it, it just means I know not to give you the point," said Victor.
"Well, damn it," said Barry, playing his card anyway.
"Alright, let's see what you've got," said Victor, picking up the first answer. "When I was a kid, I learned geography by playing lots and lots of 'Where in the World Is Sushi in a Landlocked Country?'"
"To be fair, Mongolia has a navy, so…not that weird," said Bruce.
"They're over 150 miles from the nearest ocean. What the hell do they need a navy for?" asked Arthur.
"Land pirates?" asked Clark.
"While we ponder that, let's see what else you came up with," said Victor. "When I was a kid, I learned geography by playing lots and lots of 'Where in the World Is 'A Vending Machine Filled with Used Panties?'"
"Pretty sure that's in Japan," said Barry.
"You didn't just dart over there to check, did you?" asked Arthur.
"N…no," said Barry.
"Pretty sure that's a confession," said Victor, picking up the next card. "When I was a kid, I learned geography by playing lots and lots of 'Where in the World Is 'Everything South of the Mason Dixon Line?'"
"Wow, Carmen's just kidnapped a good portion of the country," said Bruce. "Seriously, how in the hell is she doing that?"
"Best not to asked too many questions," said Clark.
"It just doesn't make any freaking sense," said Bruce.
"I doubt it ever will," said Victor, picking up another card. "When I was a kid, I learned geography by playing lots and lots of 'Where in the World Is What I Want, What I Really, Really Want?'"
"You just had the opportunity to say 'Where in the Spice World' and you didn't take it?" asked Barry.
"I'm pretty sure everyone's trying to forget that movie, and you just ruined that for us," said Bruce.
"…sorry…" muttered Barry.
"You should be," said Victor, picking up the last card. "Ah, this one must be Barry's card: When I was a kid, I learned geography by playing lots and lots of 'Where in the World Are Mall Cops'"
"It's the only thing I had that came close to working," said Barry.
"Yeah, I get it," said Victor. "It doesn't win though." Barry cursed softly under his breath. "The winner is, just to annoy Bruce, the Mason Dixon Line."
"That would be me," said Arthur, claiming another point. "Okay Clark, you're up."
Author note: The current scores are:
Barry: 5
Arthur and Clark: 4
Diana: 3
Bruce and Victor: 1