From Scratch

by Marie Goos

The Dragon Warrior has finally brought peace to the Valley, and to Shifu- although, with an old flame's return, Tai Lung alive and less than repentant, and the threat of war looming over China, you could have fooled him. Sequel to Blue Plate Special.

32. Good Food Ends with Good Talk

Chapter 32: Good Food Ends with Good Talk (and Good Sex Ends with Deep Sleep)

---

Lin woke up, reluctantly, to the sound of a scandalized gasp. "Madonna Santa!"

"What fresh hell is this?" Shifu grumbled beside her, which was followed by a strangled shout that she had only heard once, many years ago, when she'd walked in on him naked.

"Okay, okay, I'm up." She opened her eyes and sat up to get a good look at what was going on around her, squinting in the sunlight. Gia had once again trespassed in her house without so much as knocking, and now was acting shocked about... Something. "Yo."

"Gia, get out!" Shifu said shrilly, holding the blankets all the way up to his neck.

"Shame on you, Master Shifu!" Gia snapped, wagging her finger at him. "Sneaking into my mother's bed at night like some common porco!"

"He's after my virginity," Lin added, because this was one of the funniest things that had ever happened to her. "Always trying to get me to give it up before marriage!"

"I have done no such thing!" Shifu argued, despite the fact she was obviously joking. "I know very well that consent cannot be given under duress!"

"Ew!" Gia shouted, covering her ears. "Tell me no more! Augh! Mi fa cagare!"

"It most certainly does not make you poop!" Shifu shouted back at her as she retreated out of the house, huffing indignantly. "Rude."

Lin laughed so hard for so long that her stomach hurt. She'd had a tough few days, but all that had cheered her up more than she could have expected. She couldn't even be mad at Gia for barging into her house, since the results had been so priceless.

"I'm so glad you were able to get your entertainment for the day," Shifu said sarcastically, his arms crossed as he watched her laugh herself sick. He still let her kiss him, though.

"It ain't my fault you two're so funny," she argued, then grabbed the nearest shirt and shrugged it on. "Anyway... I'm guessing this's a good time to, y'know. Talk to Gia."

His grumpy frown softened at that. "You may as well. Though probably not in my shirt."

She glanced down at herself and snorted at the thought of Gia freaking out even more at the sight of her in Shifu's shirt. The laughs probably wouldn't be worth the trouble, though. "Okay, fine. You just wanna see me naked one more time."

"I've been desensitized by now, actually," he argued, then flopped back down into her bed. "Wake me when you've apologized for being an unholy terror to your daughter."

Lin raised her eyebrows at his behavior. This was new. "Since when d'you sleep in?"

"Since you keep me up all night," he answered with a yawn, then reached up to pat her arm. "Do not worry about me. I will be back to normal soon enough after I take the morning to catch up on all the sleep you've made me lose."

"This's still weird," she pointed out as she searched her floor for some clothes. "You're not exactly known for taking the morning off."

"I'm enlightened now," he grumbled, pulling her blankets up over his head. "Or something. Leave me alone."

"That can't be it," she said skeptically, then gave him a poke with her foot. "You're always the one dragging me outta bed. What's up?"

He let out a long sigh from under the sheets, then poked his head back out to glare at her. "Go talk to your daughter."

"I'm not gonna let this go," she warned him. "And don't call her that."

"My apologies," he said sarcastically. "Go talk to the young woman to whom you inexplicably have no relation whatsoever."

"That's better." Lin left him to sleep, though she still thought it was weird. She put Shifu out of her mind when she saw Gia waiting for her under the cherry tree, contemplating the hammock as if she'd never seen anything like it.

"You wanna try it out?" she asked when she joined Gia.

"No. I was only wondering why you would want to sleep outside in winter."

Lin shrugged one shoulder. "Lotsa fur."

"I came to make up with you," Gia said suddenly, meeting her eyes with a fervor that she'd learned was typical of the kid. "I regret lashing out when we last spoke. I apologize for my harsh words."

Lin let out a heavy sigh, staring at the lake while she tried to decide how to respond to that. "Thanks." She had to suck it up and look the kid in the eye eventually, though. "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn'ta yelled or said that stuff."

Gia nodded and smiled, but didn't say anything else. She seemed to be waiting for more, which Lin had been dreading.

"Okay. Fine." She rubbed at her temples, still on edge. "Ask me about it."

"My... My father, you mean?" she asked hopefully.

Lin nodded.

"Is it true that he is dead?" Of course, Gia would ask that first.

"Yeah, it's true." She had no reason to lie about that, but what she would tell Gia about literally anything else... She still didn't know. She hated that Shifu had gotten into her head about all this truth crap after everything she'd told him. He should have known better than to push all that nonsense on her.

"When did he die? How?" Gia asked, taking a step forward. "And who was he? Were you in love?"

"Before you were born, not getting into that, he was an artist, and no," Lin answered as rapid-fire as possible. "Now stop. That's enough."

Gia crossed her arms, frowning in irritation. "We have barely begun to talk about my father," she complained. "Why are you so against talking about this?"

"It's likeya said. My life's been hard. And... It's hard to talk about stuff like this. For me. I know that's not the most fair thing in the world to you, but I need time. Okay?"

Unsurprisingly, Gia got misty-eyed from her explanation and drew her into a too-tight hug. "I understand. We can take our time."

Lin didn't know if she'd ever be able to tell Gia everything about her father, no matter how much time had passed. But she'd figure that out later. "Sorry I didn't come findya first," she added, yanking herself out of Gia's grasp. "I know it's kinda on me to come apologize, since I'm the... The... Person who is older." She still couldn't call herself Gia's parent. That was one more thing that would have to wait if it even happened at all.

"That is alright," Gia accepted, then took her hands and squeezed. "I had one more thing I wished to discuss."

"Yeah, okay." It couldn't be more awkward than what they'd already gone through.

"May I live with you?"

Lin choked on her own spit in shock at the question, which caused a coughing fit. Alright, so she'd been wrong about the levels of awkwardness they could still reach.

"I am sorry!" Gia shouted over her coughing, slapping her back in the most unhelpful way possible. "I should not have asked. It is too soon, yes?"

"Yes!" Lin choked out, then finished coughing. When she was done, she pulled out her pipe to take a few calming puffs. "What're you asking that for, anyway?"

Gia blushed before answering quietly. "I have been avoiding Master Tigress... For my reasons. And... And things have been lonely. For me."

"Ah, shit." Now she felt bad for the kid. "Okay, how's this: come stay with me for a little bit, just to get a break. Like... A few days. Is that something you'd wanna try?"

She nodded enthusiastically, her tail wagging in her excitement. "Yes! Yes, thank you." She sounded so relieved that Lin felt guilty for not having offered sooner. After all, it couldn't have been easy living in the same building as Tigress after seeing her kiss someone else. And then not being able to tell anyone at the Jade Palace how she'd been feeling, because she'd been too nervous about what they'd think.

Lin didn't think anyone at the Jade Palace would look down on Gia for liking women, but she knew firsthand how hard it could be to believe that anyone was a safe person to tell a thing like that to. "Look, you can grab whatever stuffya need today and stay the next coupla nights. Does that sound good?"

"That sounds wonderful!" Gia clapped loudly, as if applauding their plan.

"Wow. Okay." Lin could tell already she'd end up regretting this, but there was no turning back now. "How's aboutya go get your stuff now? I need a little more time to wake up, anyway."

"Yes! I shall do that!" She was shouting now, too, but at least she was also running toward the punt.

Lin retreated back into her house before she had to listen to any more of that. She would need the break if she was going to have the mental stamina to deal with Gia full time. She watched Shifu toss and turn in her bed for a little bit, debating whether or not she should tell him about that whole interaction. Not won out. She'd rather keep things light, for now.

"Y'know what I like?" Lin asked as she dropped back down into bed with him.

Shifu yawned. "What?"

"Pussy."

"Agh!" His eyes flew open and he sat up with an irritated frown. "Why are you so dirty?"

"That ain't any dirtier than what I do to you," she argued, causing him to blush.

"That's different," he said, huffing. "I don't want to hear about what you're doing with anyone else."

"Ah. I see." Lin decided not to get into the fact that she hadn't slept with anyone else. Although, if they were counting long-distance correspondences, she'd already done a lot with Meihui.

"Is there... Is there anyone you especially like?"

Lin sighed at the question. She didn't know why he wanted to bring this up when he was just going to get upset about it, but she answered honestly anyway. "Yeah."

"O-oh. Oh." Shifu paused to awkwardly clear his throat. "Anyone I know?"

"Nope." She could safely say that it would be a cold day in hell if Shifu ever met Meihui. She waited for him to blow up at her or berate her for liking someone else, but he just sat there and avoided eye contact. She watched him look miserable for only a few seconds before she couldn't stand it anymore. "Why, you want a threesome?"

"Of course not!" he snapped, his ear twitching angrily. "You're foul!"

"Uhuh," she accepted easily. This was more the reaction she'd expected. "So you're against threesomes entirely? Or areya saying you'll only do it if the third person's a woman?"

"Stop that! I am not some depraved pervert!"

"Okay, so any gender's good withya?" She couldn't help but grin when she asked.

He stood up and started jerkily shoving his clothes on as if he were trying to escape her. Which was likely. "I am going to let this slide since I know you are only like this because of early childhood trauma."

Lin laughed at the unexpected jab. "Now look who's being inappropriate! I like it." She waggled her eyebrows at him, but he only turned his back on her and grunted. "Oh, what now?" She knew, though. Shifu was still bothered by the fact that she'd said she liked someone, even though he was the one who'd asked. She should be angry with him for acting like this, but instead she felt surprisingly guilty. "C'mon, you asked if I liked someone. I was just trying to be honest."

"Well, maybe you should have lied instead," he grumbled, his tone accusatory. He didn't say it outright, but from the harsh way he'd spoken he could have ended with, "Like you usually do."

"I can tell you're implying that I'm a liar," Lin pointed out, crossing her arms. "I'm not stupid. I know how to read between the lines."

"Well, you are!" When he turned around to look at her again, his face was red. "You either lie outright or lie by omission all the time! You would have never even told me about Gia if she hadn't come here, you may never even tell her about her own father-"

"That's not your business," she interrupted. "You got no right to judge me about it!" She couldn't believe he was bringing this up when he'd promised he wouldn't judge her. And all because he was, yet again, bent out of shape about her seeing other people.

"What about the things that are my business? How long were you keeping Tai Lung's visions from me? How much are you still not telling me about them?"

"That's his business to tellya about! I only wanna respect his privacy!"

"Do you? Or are you just concerned about your own secrets being revealed?"

"Fine!" she yelled. He'd hit a nerve there, but she still had a right to her own privacy. It was her decision who to tell what about herself. "I admit it! It's both! Is that whatya want? You wanna hear I got secrets? You wanna hear that Tai Lung knows 'em and you don't? How's this, then- I told him about Gia weeks ago, before we even left Shanghai!"

Shifu's mouth opened, but for once nothing came out. He shut it again, his lips thin, and bent down to put his shoes on.

"You're leaving? You're the one who started in with this!" She only had pillows, but she still threw one at his head. He didn't even bother trying to dodge it.

"I never thought you would stoop so low as to use my own son to hurt me," he said. "You know what I've been through with Tai Lung. You know how I feel, and..." He paused, closing his eyes. "You might be having a difficult time, but there's no excuse for that."

Lin watched him leave, but she didn't follow. She was back to feeling guilty, but she had made herself a promise when Shifu had abandoned her that she wouldn't chase after him anymore. She wouldn't constantly beg for his forgiveness, just for being herself. And yes, she had lashed out. But he had, too. They both owed each other apologies for that fight, and she wouldn't take all the blame. Not ever again.

She picked her pillow up from where it had landed and carried it out to the hammock with her to lie down while she waited for Gia. Except she found Shifu in her hammock. "I have so many questions."

He frowned up at her, his arms crossed. "My hip hurts," he said. "And Gia took the punt. You need a second one."

"I'll add it to my grocery list." She rubbed her forehead, embarrassed by what she was about to do. But if Shifu was going to just refuse to leave and steal her hammock, then she might as well get it out of the way. "I crossed a line with that Tai Lung comment. I'm not sorry for anything else, but I am sorry for that."

"Hmph." He looked at probably every possible point in space before finally meeting her eyes. "I owe you an apology as well. I lost my temper due to jealousy and said things I should not have."

"You were jealous?" Lin asked, feigning shock. "I had no idea!"

"Very funny," Shifu said flatly.

"I know I am." She shoved him aside and squeezed into the hammock next to him. "I thoughtya hated this thing."

"It helps my hip," he grumbled.

Lin laughed, relieved that their fight had ended so easily. Still, she felt a bit uneasy about the whole incident. Shifu had deliberately started a fight with her about seeing other people, and then completely switched topics to her personal life and teaching Tai Lung. As much as he was trying to act like their relationship could be different, he still resented her for the same old things. It was enough to make her wonder, if she did forgive him, how long would it be until everything went back to the way it had been? How long until he got sick of her again?

"I should not have brought Gia up like that," Shifu said, interrupting her inner downward spiral. "You are right that it's not my business. I just wanted to say that I am trying to let it go. And as for Tai Lung's training, I know that you and I both want to help him, so I should show you more trust." He ended his appeal with an awkward cough.

She blinked back at him, caught off guard by everything he'd said. He never would have made an attempt to show her he knew what he'd said wrong before. "Uh. Thanks for all that. And I guess I should also say, uh... I shouldn'ta brought up Tai Lung just to lash out. That sucked."

He nodded. "Thank you. But, there is something I need to know."

She braced herself for a deeply invasive question.

"Do you really tell Tai Lung things that you do not tell me?" He sounded embarrassed as he asked. Hopefully, he wouldn't start another fight about the answer.

"Yeah," Lin said quietly. "I do."

"Why?"

"We're closer 'an I am with you," she answered truthfully.

Shifu grimaced at that, but at least he didn't start shouting at her. "I want to be the one you confide in."

"I did. I toldya all about Salvatore, didn't I?"

"You're right."

"Always am." She knew she shouldn't have let Shifu get closer to her or confided in him, but she had anyway. Because she'd needed someone and he was there. Well, not just because he was there. When she felt untethered like that, he was the one she reached for. And if she wanted this to turn into a real relationship, she'd tell him that. She'd tell him that was so much more important than anything else he could be to her. But she didn't. "Grab me my ruan, I wanna play."

"You play an instrument?" he asked skeptically.

"Yeah, you ain't seen my ruan in the house?"

"I have, but I thought that it was just some garbage you dug out of a pit. As are most of your possessions."

"I'll haveya know that I got no recollection whatsoever of how I got my ruan," Lin said with as haughty an attitude as she could manage without laughing. "I was super drunk."

"Of course." He struggled his way out of the hammock and returned with her ruan, then surprised her by getting back into the hammock with her. "Promise me you will not sing anything too vulgar."

"Hm." She knew plenty of songs that weren't vulgar, but she wasn't about to be that emotionally vulnerable with him. "How about The Pit, since we're talking about it?"

"I already know you well enough to turn that down." He reached out and plucked a string on her ruan. "What about something more traditional? Like Ambush from Ten Sides?"

"Ugh," she grumbled, yanking the ruan out of his reach. "Chen loved that one. Not gonna do it."

Shifu tried to argue with her since that was his thing. "It's an important piece of history-"

"Don't care," she interrupted. "My ruan, I pick the song." In the end, though, she just plucked at her strings aimlessly while Shifu slowly dozed off on her shoulder. She tried to keep her playing gentle, but once he started to snore she doubted it made a difference. She let him sleep until her shoulder started to get sore from how heavy his big head was, then nudged him awake. "Hey. Nap time's over."

"Yes," Shifu agreed with a yawn. "I should get to the Jade Palace and resume my normal schedule." He struggled to stand up from the hammock before eventually just giving up and rolling out of it.

"So why wereya so sleepy, huh?" Lin asked as soon as she was done laughing at him.

Shifu glanced around as if he thought someone might overhear, then leaned in closer to her. "You kept me up," he said.

"I know, I know, I like sex too much," she dismissed with a wave of her hand.

"No, not that. You were... Talking in your sleep." He raised one eyebrow at her in that accusatory way he did, like he thought she was hiding something from him. "It was extremely creepy."

Lin stared at him. "That's it?"

"It was strange! Your voice sounded odd!" He paused, narrowing his eyes at her. "Have you had vocal training?"

"What? No." She pushed herself out of the hammock, curious now about what had happened to her overnight. Could this have something to do with Tai Lung's visions? But she'd closed herself off to those. And she hadn't so much as dreamed in weeks.

"You were speaking in..." Shifu rubbed at his chin, grunting while he thought. "Multiple voices, I suppose."

"What'd I say?" Now she was certain this had something to do with the visions. That ocean spirit sounded like a whole damn chorus when it talked.

"I do not know. It was not in any language I could understand."

"Of course not," she grumbled, frustrated. She'd hoped maybe he'd be able to tell her what she'd said, so she could glean something from it. But, as always, she'd hit a wall just when she thought she'd gotten a clue. "Well, whatever."

His ear twitched while he watched her reaction. "I can tell this has something to do with Tai Lung."

"I dunno that for sure! I mean, probably. But, ugh." Lin sighed, leaning against the cherry tree. She turned away from him to look out at the water and try to gather her thoughts. "This's harder 'an you know. And I dunno how much I can tellya without breaking Tai Lung's trust, but... This ocean spirit. Whatever it is. It's like it got into his head through my head or something. I'm probably not making any sense."

Shifu placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze. "No, not particularly. I think I would need to know the whole story."

"I'm working on it," she promised. "But Tai Lung's been... He's been weird whenever I bringya up."

"You two talk about me?" The hopefulness in his voice gave her knots in her stomach.

"Yeah. He's not a fan." She didn't look at Shifu, but she could tell from the way his grip loosened on her shoulder that he was disappointed to hear that. "It's really odd, though. The way he talks aboutya, it's like he's an overprotective parent and I'm the kid."

"And I would be?"

"Same thing you always are," she said. "After my ass."

He scoffed at the joke, but didn't respond.

Lin wished she knew what to say or what to do to make everything come together. Months into Tai Lung's rehabilitation and she was more lost now than she'd ever been. Months with Shifu and she was less certain now than she had been at the beginning. The only thing she knew for sure was that she was failing. That much should be obvious to anyone. "Look, don't worry. I'm on it. I know I don't got my shit together, but that's what makes me a great teacher. Tai Lung can just do the opposite of what I do, and he'll be fine. And since he's spiteful and rebellious, that shouldn't be too hard."

"You don't have to deflect with humor." Shifu sounded more tired than ever. "And you shouldn't be so hard on yourself."

Lin shrugged his hand off her shoulder. "You've already been meaner to me than I ever was, so save it."

"There is no need to get defensive."

She finally tore her gaze away from those dark waters to glare at him. "I'm not getting defensive. I'm just getting mad."

Shifu didn't get angry back at her. He just looked sad. "I'm sorry." It still confused her when he did that. "I know how difficult it can be to let go. I still haven't mastered that particular skill."

"It really annoys me whenya act all understanding and enlightened like that," Lin grumbled. "You dunno what you're doing any better'n I do and you've told me so."

"That is true, yes," he admitted with an embarrassed cough. "But I am trying to be supportive toward you. You have done the same for me many times."

"Yeah, yeah." Lin didn't want to think about the way that made her feel, so she changed the subject. "Anyway, I better clean up a little around here. Gia's gonna visit, so I gotta make room."

"Oh, she is? That sounds nice." Shifu followed her into the house, refusing to take the hint. "Would you like some help?"

Well, maybe she could kick him out after he did some cleaning for her. "Yeah, thanks. Make the bed and fluff the pillows, wouldya?"

"Alright," he accepted with a nod. "Where are your clean sheets?"

She laughed at that. "You think I got more'n one set? What'm I, the Emperor?"

"What do you sleep on when you clean these ones, then?"

She shrugged. "Guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."

A look of horror crossed his face as he stepped back from her bed. "You have never cleaned your sheets?"

Lin rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "Fine, go wash 'em in the lake if it means that much to you."

"I am only touching these because I have already slept in them." He balled up her sheets with the most scrunched-up stink face she'd ever seen before running outside like they were on fire. He could have just not washed them for her, but she wasn't about to point that out. She focused on grabbing all her papers from off the floor and hiding them under her crate table.

Shifu returned much sooner than she'd expected, a grumpy frown still on his face, and yanked something out from her pillows. "Is this underwear?"

"I dunno. Maybe? I never found mine afterya yanked 'em off me last night."

He blushed brightly and shoved the garment back under her pillows. "S-sorry."

"Never said I didn't like it." She loved how twitchy he got when she tried to talk to him about sex.

"Anyway," he announced loudly, clearing his throat. "Let us discuss... Anything else."

"Like?"

"Like... So, how long is Gia going to visit?"

"Not long," Lin said as she gathered up her empty bottles from around the house. "Two or three days, something like that."

"Oh. That's longer than I thought." His words were stilted and uncomfortable- more so than usual, anyway. "You will be able to get along for three days?"

"Probably not." Lin raised her eyebrows at him, but he kept his gaze firmly on her pillows as he fluffed them for her. "Whatsamatter? You worried we won't be able to knock boots?"

"Wha-" That got his attention. "No, of course not! That isn't it at all!"

"Hm." Lin lined her empty bottles up outside the door for some use to be determined later. "But it's something."

Shifu sighed heavily. "Yes." Then he punched a pillow much harder than necessary, causing some down to escape it. "I am not proud of this," he said firmly. "Just to establish that."

"Okay," Lin said with a shrug.

"When I see you and Gia becoming closer, I... Feel jealous." He winced as he spoke, avoiding eye contact.

She stared at him, waiting for some heavy declaration to follow. "S'that all? Jeez, you made it sound like something serious."

Shifu blinked at her, a confused frown crossing his face. "You aren't offended?"

Lin rolled her eyes at that. "You got a real skewed perception of what is and isn't offensive." She could see him bristling, getting ready to argue with her about that, so she pushed forward before he could get going. "Everyone feels jealous sometimes. It's, like, universal. And it has a purpose."

His ear twitched. "It does, now?"

"Yep. Helps pointya in the direction of whatya want for yourself. I like to think of it as the compass of the petty emotions."

"That's... Shockingly enlightened of you."

Lin punched him in the arm. "Shockingly?" she repeated. "Now who's the offensive one?"

"Still you." He tossed the last of her fluffed pillows into the pile and sighed again. "But you have seen for yourself where I stand with my children. Tai Lung can barely stand to be in the same room as me, and Tigress... Well, things are strained between us, lately."

Lin raised her eyebrows at that. "Whaddaya mean, lately?"

"Watch it," Shifu warned, tossing a pillow at her. "How is it that you are able to make peace with Gia when you have such an attitude all the time?"

"Not all the time. Just most of it." Lin punctuated her argument by throwing the pillow right back at him. "And it's easy. Y'see, I do this thing called having a goddamn conversation. Works wonders."

"What helpful advice," he said flatly.

She should have told him how lucky he was she hadn't ordered him to shut up yet. After all, here he was asking for emotional support when she'd spent the better part of two days steeped in trauma. And it wasn't like they were a couple. Instead, she nudged him with her elbow. "I know what'll help."

"What?" He leaned in closer, eager to hear her wisdom.

"Making out with me," she said, waggling her eyebrows.

"Wha-" Shifu sputtered, reeling back. "That's not going to help at all!"

Lin shrugged. "Couldn't hurt."

"Why do I listen to you?"

She grabbed his collar with one hand and yanked him into a kiss. "'Cause I'm always right."

---

Sleep had been scarce for Tai Lung. Even when he tried to sleep, he woke again almost as soon as he began to dream. But he dreamed the same thing, over and over. He dreamed of Lin teaching him to draw lines with an ink brush in her studio, over and over. She reached out to steady his hand, and that touch filled him with a sense of peace he had never known. Until everything went dark, and that infernal eye opened to watch him. He both dreaded and craved that dream.

He wasn't completely unaware. He knew that this was probably a bad sign. Somehow, that thing had gotten hold of Lin and was asserting its ownership over her. And worse, she had let it. Now what could he possibly do to save her? He had been rendered helpless by some overgrown squid, plagued by these visions. He needed to take control, somehow. Unfortunately, the only thing he could think of was attempting to have another vision.

So, despite the late hour and the cold weather, he found himself trudging out to the Jade Palace's art studio. Lin's studio. He knew it would be empty because he had made it his mission to keep track of where Lin was at all possible times. Sure, the panda had been dismissed from helping him, but it wasn't as if he'd been sleeping anyway. He could handle it. He needed to make sure Lin was safe.

Not that he trusted Shifu with her well-being, but he at least knew when she was with him that she was, most likely, nearby. Tonight was different, though. Tonight Lin had decided to remain home in her tiny house with... Gia. Her discarded offspring. Who, for some reason, was now receiving all the time and attention she had never deserved in the first place. His eye twitched at that thought. She could not protect Lin. She couldn't even understand Lin. But they were on Lin's island in the middle of that dark lake, with clear views on all sides. They at least had a defensible position. Unless the spirit came for her.

Tai Lung would be taking up the spirit's attention tonight, though. And he would always ensure that nothing reached Lin.

He entered the darkened studio and set his lantern on Lin's desk. He knew where she kept her paper and her ink. He knew where she kept her brushes. It was a simple task to set everything up and begin to paint those lines. Straight black lines, one after the other. First dozens, then hundreds. Over and over until he saw nothing but the ink. Gradually, he became aware of a presence beside him, but still he concentrated on the ink. A hand wrapped around his, one he found familiar and warm.

Lin guided his hand with hers as he drew the same vertical line, over and over. The lines began to grow, longer and longer, and as they grew, so did Lin. Soon her hand dwarfed his. And then it covered him entirely, drawing him into the warm, dark sea he had come to know as her mind. He barely had time to adjust to it before a wave of grief slammed into him. It felt so intense that every muscle in his body ached, that he could barely even breathe. If he could have caught his breath, he would have been wailing by now. He had felt Lin's grief in visions before, but nothing could have prepared him for the magnitude of this pain. He felt as though he were dying.

And then something caught his attention. A single, clear note from some sort of musical instrument. And then another. Slowly, they picked up in tempo and formed a song. He closed his eyes, allowing the music to wash over him, and when he opened them again, he was Lin.

She played the old piano in the sitting room, and when the empty house filled with music, it felt just a little less lonely. When she closed her eyes, she could almost believe Al was still with her. Almost. But she could never forget the hole left behind where he should have been. This was the house she had shared with Al, this was his piano, and the notes she played were ones he had written. When she grew too tired to go on, she would sleep in their bed, next to the neglected pillow he had once laid his head on, knowing he would never be with her again.

As these thoughts flooded her head, she hit the keys harder and harder until she wasn't even playing a song anymore, just slamming her hands down onto the piano, her vision blurred with tears. "It's not fair," she screamed to no one. "It's not fair!" No one would hear her. Especially not the one and only person she wanted. She hunched over the piano and sobbed until her throat was so raw she couldn't make sound anymore.

Eventually, as she drifted in and out of consciousness over the keys of Al's old piano, she realized that she couldn't stay in this house. She felt like she was living inside the rotting corpse of her relationship, and the only solution she could think of was to leave. She knew already she could pay off Al's debt by selling everything. She had done the math months ago and tried to get him to run away with her. He'd said they would talk it over again after his trip to Paris. And now... Now there was nothing left to discuss. There was nothing left.

Only the void.

And that cold, bright eye, staring through them in the darkness as their lungs burned and their heart thumped out its last, weak beat.

With a gasp, Tai Lung emerged from his vision, gulping down breaths of air. He felt as though he'd truly drowned in that icy sea. But that was impossible because he had been Lin in that vision- those had been her memories-

He gripped his head and hunched over as it occurred to him that he had just experienced Lin's near-death, complete with the certainty that he would die. So Lin was right. That ocean spirit had saved her, whatever that meant. And these memories were now coming to him for some reason. No. He knew the reason.

It was a claim.

The creature was telling him that Lin belonged to it, not to him. This creature was asserting its territory. It was a threat. Well, he had never taken kindly to threats, supernatural or not.

Lin had, for whatever reason, allowed that creature to take control of her in some way. He could not trust her with what he'd seen to this effect, so how could he trust her at all? But she didn't realize what she had done. She'd clearly forgotten her experience with the ocean spirit, and these visions were those lost memories. If he kept pursuing them, he could find out for certain what had happened to her and find a way to exorcise the thing from her once and for all. Perhaps that had been the purpose of these visions all along.

And yet, he doubted he could achieve that goal while trapped here in the Valley of Peace, constantly watched by Shifu and his team of sycophants. Surely, too, Lin wouldn't be able to connect with this part of her past and rid herself of the spirit with Shifu constantly hovering around her, taking up all of her time and attention. In a way, she had also allowed Shifu to assert his ownership over her. She would deny it vehemently, and yet, who was it that she spent her nights with? Who was it that she continued to run to? Shifu, despite everything. Shifu had earned nothing from her, but Lin continued to give freely.

Tai Lung knew what needed to be done. They would leave the Valley of Peace.

---

Shifu stifled a yawn as he took a seat at his usual table for lunch at Mr. Ping's. Since taking Gia in, Lin had reverted to her usual treatment of him. As in, she ignored him until either he initiated a conversation or she wanted to sleep with him. And he allowed her to treat him this way because he had been conditioned to accept it at this point. He'd come to realize that if Lin never decided she wanted a real relationship with him, then he would simply cave in to her demands and take what he could get with her. It was pathetic, but... No, there was no exception there. He was just pathetic. He took some comfort in the thought that Lin was just as pathetic, turning into an angry crybaby anytime he tried to bring up emotions.

"I got you something," Lin said, surprising him out of his thoughts. Then she placed a persimmon on the table in front of him.

"A... Persimmon?" He still wondered how he had been too absorbed in thought to hear her coming.

"Yeah," she said. "You ate a whole plate of 'em when you were drunk on that date, so I figured you were a fan."

"Yes," he said quietly. "I am."

"Anyway, it might be slow but I still gotta do my job. You ordering something or just taking up space?"

"Oh, right. Um. Just tea for now, please." Was it pitiful that he felt so touched by Lin's gift of a single persimmon? Probably, but he didn't care. She'd put thought into giving him something. This gesture must have meant she was beginning to forgive him, at least a little bit.

"Just tea?" she asked with an annoyed scoff. "You better friggin' tip."

A very little bit. "Lin-"

"Tip beforeya talk to me again," she interrupted, then walked away. Now she was charging him for a conversation. That seemed about right, honestly. But at least she was willing to talk to him at all. He tried not to focus on how low his standards had become.

"Good afternoon, Master!" Viper slithered into view, waving her tail at him before taking a seat across from him. "I thought I might find you here."

"How kind of you to join me," Shifu said, taken aback by her cheerful attitude. "In lieu of training."

"I thought you could use some company," she replied with such sincerity that she had to be doing it to spite him.

Lin returned with his pot of tea just then, dropping it so haphazardly onto the table that the pot rolled about on the edge of its base a few times before settling. She did the same with two cups. "You're both gonna share 'cause I don't feel like running around right now," she announced before returning to the kitchen.

"I really don't understand why she's still a waitress," Viper mused as she poured them each a cup.

"According to her, she likes this job," Shifu said, unable to mask his skepticism.

"That's... Interesting."

"I can friggin' hearya, asswipes!" Lin yelled from the kitchen.

Shifu had grown so accustomed to her vulgarity and abrasiveness that he simply shook his head at her antics. He addressed Viper instead of engaging with Lin. "Surely you have better things to do than check up on your master."

"No," Viper replied simply. "You'll just have to accept that your students worry about you and want to support you."

He grunted back. Not that he took issue with Viper's declaration. In fact, he found it quite touching. But engaging emotionally with his students, especially to such an extent, remained a foreign concept to him. Much like his relationship with Lin, he would need to get used to it first.

"How is everything between you and Lin?" Viper went on, glancing behind her at the woman in question- who happened to be glaring at them with one of her ridiculous stinkeyes. "Going well?"

"Not an appropriate question," Shifu reminded her half-heartedly. "Not that I could glean enough from Lin to answer it definitively." Though as he spoke, he remembered Viper's previous comments about what would and would not impress Lin, and realized she had been... Right. "She is hot and cold, is what I mean."

Viper nodded sagely. "That's understandable. You lost her trust, and she's still feeling hurt. Regaining that trust will take a lot of time and effort. But I can see she's giving you the chance to make that effort."

"Yes." He paused to drink his tea, embarrassed to discuss such personal things with a young student. "How have you learned so much about relationships?"

"Oh, I had my first girlfriend before I'd even come to the Jade Palace," she said with a giggle. "I've been in lots of relationships! Sadly, I know more about what not to do than anything else."

"That is too bad." He cleared his throat, unsure of what else to say. "Have you been to the Pink Lily? Perhaps you could meet someone there."

Viper laughed so hard at his question that she snorted. "Master! You've been to a lesbian bar?"

He could feel himself blushing as he hid his face behind his cup. "Lin took me there," he grumbled. He thanked the gods that Ping's restaurant was relatively empty, for once.

"I should have known." Viper wiped some tears of mirth from her eyes, then leaned in closer with a wide smile. "But it sounds like things are going well! I'm happy for you."

"She is acting distant again, though."

Lin's hand slammed down onto the table in front of him. He really must have been losing his touch, if he hadn't noticed her approaching. "I'm right here, you flap-jawed trout sniffer."

Shifu tried to understand what had just come out of Lin's mouth, but could not even begin. "...What?"

"Gia keeps yelling at me when I curse," she huffed. "I'm still workshopping some stuff. But she's not here, so eat my dick!"

"That's more like it."

"Lin," Viper interrupted with an undeservedly sweet smile. "Could we have a refill on our tea? Please?"

"Ugh, fine," Lin accepted, grabbing their teapot and giving it a shake while she listened. "I guess it's empty. Anything else, or should I just give up on a decent tip now?"

"Perhaps when you are finished with your shift I could take you on another date," Shifu offered, already knowing he would receive a rejection for his effort. Still, he had to try.

"Remember the whole Gia thing?" Lin curled her lip at him, but only briefly. "I'm spending my free time with her. We're doing the bonding thing or whatever, so I don't got time forya."

"I cannot join you?" he asked.

"No," Lin said bluntly.

"Why not?"

"'Cause it's quality time, just the two of us, jeez! Take a hint and quit being so codependent." Lin swiped his teacup from his hands and stomped away.

"That was harsh," Viper observed, sipping on her tea, which had been spared.

"A bit," Shifu grumbled.

"But fair," she added with a nod.

"In what way?" he asked incredulously.

"You can be a bit clingy," Viper said pointedly.

Before he could argue with that particular observation, Lin returned with their teapot, dropping it onto the table just as haphazardly as she had with their first serving. "Yo." She also paused to roughly elbow Shifu in the side. "You got a minute? I need a word."

He couldn't help the hopeful skip in his heartbeat at that request. Perhaps he was a bit clingy. "For you, I have all the minutes in the universe."

"Ew."

"Too much," Viper agreed with a sage nod.

Shifu threw his hands up in frustration. "It's supposed to be romantic!"

"Okay," Lin said flatly, then grabbed him by the collar and yanked him to his feet. "That's enough outta you." She dragged him into the alleyway and shoved him against the wall, as usual, but didn't kiss him this time.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed. "You seem stressed," he pointed out.

Up close, Lin was covered in streaks of flour and bits of noodle dough from the kitchen. It looked suspiciously like she'd fallen into some dough at some point. "Wow, that's so astute ofya," she said with withering sarcasm.

"I suppose that's your way of deflecting."

"I suppose," she agreed.

He decided to drop the subject. When Lin wanted to discuss her emotional state with him, she would. In the meantime, he could at least show her some affection. "Lin." He leaned in closer to her and reached up to brush some flour off her cheek. "May I kiss you?"

"Fuck me, that was hot!"

"Good gods." He massaged his ears as they throbbed from her shouting in them. "Never mind."

Lin pushed him and scoffed, though she seemed more playful than genuinely annoyed. "Jeez, forgive me for having a libido."

"I do," he said with a wince. His ears were still ringing, but at least he'd managed to cheer Lin up a bit. "Shouting about it directly into my ears is somewhat less forgivable, though."

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed the edge of his ear, causing the ringing to be drowned out by the rush of blood to his head. "I like it whenya act all grumpy."

He no longer had anything to complain about. After all, it was rare that Lin hung all over him like this. "That's quite generous of you."

"Yeah," she agreed, then pulled away from him with a wink.

Shifu took a brief moment to mourn that loss of contact. His whole body felt chilled now that he no longer had Lin pressed against him. "I miss you," he admitted reluctantly. "I know you need to make time for Gia, but I feel your absence more now than ever."

"Wow, what're you, writing a poem?" Lin mocked, wrinkling her nose at him. "Calm down! It's barely been two days, you big baby."

He should have known she'd react this way to such an admission of affection. "Never mind," he grumbled. "I no longer miss you."

"Excuse me while I grieve," she replied sarcastically. Then she topped off her unpleasant attitude with a grab at his behind.

"Excuse you, indeed!" Shifu dodged her hand easily, but still. It was the principle of the thing. "You need to learn how to ask permission!"

Lin's answer was a lecherous cackle as she approached him. He had not foreseen his request for a simple kiss getting so out of hand, but he should have expected as much from Lin. She backed him into the wall again and leaned against it with her hands resting on either side of his head, boxing him in. "Hey, I thoughtya liked how I play."

"This is getting far too aggressive to be considered flirting in any way," Shifu pointed out, not that he thought for a second she'd listen to him.

"Then I'll try it your way," Lin conceded, then leaned in even closer to him and lowered her voice. "Can I kissya?"

Alright, so maybe she had been justified in yelling about how enjoyable this was. And she was technically doing as he'd asked. "Very well."

Lin laughed again, then kissed him long and slow. Well, she started to, at least.

"Break it up, you two!" Ping's voice interrupted them, and something poked Shifu in the side. He didn't get too good a look at it, partially from Lin blocking his view and partially from his focus on the effort of trying not to die from mortification.

"Jeez! Calm down!" Lin backed away, guarding her face with one arm while Ping swatted at her with a broom. Shifu supposed that was what had poked him.

"My restaurant, my alley, my rules," Ping honked, then turned the broom threateningly in Shifu's direction. "No more funny business back here! Got it?"

"Um." He had not been prepared for this confrontation. "Yes, sir."

The goose nodded once, decisively, before turning his wrath back on Lin. "And as for you! Your break's over!"

"Gimme just another minute," Lin wheedled. "I'll be right there."

Ping pursed his beak and narrowed his eyes at her. "I'll be counting."

"Holy shit," Lin complained. "You gotta take it down about a hundred notches. I ain't your kid, we just work together."

"Hmph!"

"What, you miss Po or some shit?" Though her question lacked all tact, it still seemed to make the goose misty-eyed.

"Perhaps a little." He sniffed loudly. "He doesn't visit as much as he used to! Do you think he's forgetting about... About noodles?"

"Nah, he wouldn't," Lin placated, and even consoled him with a pat on the wing. "He loves noodles. More'n I do, that's for sure."

"You're right." With a forlorn shake of his head, Ping shuffled back toward the kitchen door. "You're staying late to make up for this extra-long break," he said over his shoulder before disappearing into the restaurant again.

Lin crossed her arms, glaring at the closed door. "What a goddamn noodle tyrant."

As interesting as he found her dynamic with Ping, Shifu did not want to spend what little time he had with Lin discussing her employer. "I suppose I should say goodbye for now."

"Wait," Lin said, surprising him. "I didn't pullya back here just to make out." She could have fooled him. "I actually wanna stop by after my shift tonight."

"At the Jade Palace?" he asked, though he realized as he did that obviously that was what Lin had meant. He'd only succeeded in sounding as dense as that broom of Ping's.

"Yeah. I got a request."

"Oh?" Shifu asked. "Tired of Gia so soon?"

"Yeah, but that's not it. I need your help with something."

---

"Here," Shifu grunted as he dropped his last armful of scrolls at Lin's feet, where she'd been waiting for him in his bedroom. "This should be everything even remotely spiritual that Master Oogway had ever written. Which Gia could have helped you with."

"But you knew Oogway," Lin argued.

He couldn't contradict her on that. He knew exactly what she meant.

"And she's annoying me," she added with a childish huff. She burrowed deeper into the blankets on his bed, sipping at her cup of tea. Not exactly the way he would expect someone to research spiritual philosophy written by a Zen and Daoist master. "She can't sit still, she's always praying about some shit, she keeps asking me all these invasive questions, and she gets offended so easily! I need a full vacation from her already."

"I have had to live with her since she got here," Shifu said pointedly. "I have no sympathy for you."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Oh, don't pretend you're so imposed on. I knowya like her."

"Same to you."

Lin blushed a little and turned away to sift through Oogway's scrolls. "Yeah, yeah," she grumbled.

He smiled at her begrudging acceptance. It might not be what other people would consider maternal, but he had come to know Lin well over the past few weeks. She cared a great deal for her daughter. "So tell me. What are you looking for in Master Oogway's writings?"

"I'm not sure," Lin said, shrugging one shoulder. "I'll know it when I see it."

"...What?" He felt his eye twitch as his blood pressure spiked at her cavalier answer. "You had me retrieve every single one of Oogway's spiritual writings to browse them?"

She picked up a scroll from the pile and dropped it in his hands. "Here, you can help."

"How in the entire known universe would I be able to find what you're looking for when you will- and I quote- know it when you see it?" Shifu tried not to raise his voice. He truly did. But sometimes Lin provoked him to the point of no return.

Lin grabbed a scroll and flopped back into her pillows as if she were browsing through more of Tai Lung's trashy romance novels. "I'm just gonna ignore that and get to work. Lemme know when you're calm enough to pitch in."

"How?" he insisted. "How would I do that?"

"By reading," she said flatly.

"Will I know it when I see it?"

"You'll know it whenya feel my foot up your ass."

"And your wisdom is just as quotable as Master Oogway's, I see." He opened the scroll she'd forced on him and started reading, well aware that Lin would wear him down eventually no matter how much he resisted.

"I'll write it down so you can study it later," she said flatly, then followed suit with a scroll of her own.

Shifu had expected more banter from Lin, but she proved her diligence by falling silent as she became absorbed in her scroll. He supposed he should do the same. Master Oogway's spiritual writings had always gone a bit over his head, though. He tried to keep an eye out for anything that Lin might find particularly interesting, but nothing really stood out. Of course, all of the scrolls contained great wisdom, but none of it was news to him. He had been raised by Master Oogway, after all. He settled for summarizing each scroll to Lin and letting her decide whether she'd like to peruse it herself. He could not tell if this helped her, and she didn't say, but at least he had something to keep him from feeling entirely useless.

Until he found something notable enough to place in front of her.

Lin stopped reading her current scroll and snatched up the one he'd chosen, understanding without words the significance of the gesture. He found himself feeling rather sentimental over their ability to communicate without speaking, but he forced himself to focus on the task at hand. The scroll spoke of a monk Oogway had met many hundreds of years ago. This monk had the uncanny ability to share their visions with another, but only someone who... Well, in Oogway's words, someone whose spirit vibrated at the same frequency as theirs. The monk had described their visions as "reaching, grasping questions searching for the context needed to answer themselves." Whatever in the world that meant. Still, it sounded like exactly what Lin and Tai Lung had experienced.

"Interesting," Lin commented with a short nod once she'd finished reading, then set the scroll behind her and continued on as if she hadn't just found a massive clue.

Shifu waited for more of a reaction but found none forthcoming. "Lin." He frowned when she ignored him. "Lin. Lin!"

"What? God." She had the nerve to sound annoyed.

"That scroll was a big deal!" he snapped. "Don't you have anything more to say about it?"

"Not yet," she said, glancing sideways at him with her eyes narrowed. "I wanna see what else we find, in case there's a common thread. Obviously." Despite her combative tone, she had a point.

With a sigh, Shifu picked up another scroll and continued to read. Another hour passed by in silence, with no further leads, but at least Lin looked cute curled up in his blankets and concentrating on her work. That was something to enjoy.

"Ouch!"

"What?"

"It's nothing," he said, embarrassed by his outburst. "Just a paper cut on my finger." Perhaps he should have paid less attention to Lin and more attention to his scroll.

"Lemme see," Lin demanded, sliding off the bed to the floor head-first and grabbing his hand in a maneuver that was truly awkward to behold.

"What on earth was that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

She ignored him in favor of inspecting his finger. "You're fine," she concluded, then shoved his finger into her mouth.

"Lin- what-" Shifu sputtered, but he couldn't finish the thought. He'd meant to point out how absurd her behavior was, but as it turned out, having Lin suck on his finger was... Not absurd. It was so not absurd that he found himself in need of a cold soak. "Stop," he choked out. "That's enough!"

"How come?" Lin tossed his hand aside and flopped over on the floor with a yawn. "I need a break. Andya know what my favorite pastime is."

He could feel his face heating up. "No. We are surrounded by Master Oogway's writings. It's too... Too..."

"Creepy?" she offered.

"Yes, let's go with that."

"Then let's go fuck somewhere else. Or clean up the scrolls, I guess. Finding somewhere else to rub fronts sounds easier, though."

"Don't say 'rub fronts.'"

"Too immature?"

"It's abhorrent."

Lin's laugh was so warm and infectious, he almost forgot entirely that she'd used such a terrible turn of phrase. "I should head home anyway. Before Gia comes barging in here and yelling atya for chasing my tail."

"Yes," he agreed reluctantly. "That is depressingly likely."

"I got an idea," she said with a sly smile.

"What now?" He didn't so much as wince when she punched his arm. He was used to such rough treatment.

"There's a field of tall grass on the way to my house."

"So?"

"So walk me home and I'll showya what I got in mind." She waggled her eyebrows at him.

"Ah. You want to have sex there."

"Way to state the obvious! You in or out?"

Lin must have influenced him more than he'd realized, because he snorted in amusement at the double entendre inherent in her question.

"I heard that, you perv!" she accused with a loud cackle.

"Alright, let's go," he agreed since he could imagine such a scene being romantic. Hopefully, he could convince Lin to make it romantic. "But I am not doing anything experimental out in a field."

"Quick and dirty?" she asked, her grin widening.

"Ugh, no! We'll be out under the stars, in the fresh air, surrounded by nature. It's romantic."

"Gross."

He huffed indignantly, though he'd already known she'd react that way. "You have a strange metric for what is and is not gross."

She jumped to her feet and took him by the hand, pulling him up with her. "Quit complaining, it's time to go." She kissed him, long and deep, before pulling away.

"Yes'm," he agreed, following after her dazedly. There were worse ways to be cowed and ordered around. And in this case, he had the distinct advantage of Lin taking his sleeve and leading him by it, which he easily transitioned into hand-holding. Perhaps it was a bit pathetic to get excited by holding a woman's hand, but this was his life.

And though he'd thought he had left physical desire behind long ago in his quest for inner peace, he had fallen under Lin's spell as thoroughly as she'd predicted. She was not the most feminine of women, but Shifu found that the longer he knew Lin the less femininity mattered to him. He had always admired strong women, of course, but Lin's masculine clothing and behavior were uniquely attractive to him. And sometimes he caught himself daydreaming about her muscles like some lust-stricken schoolgirl.

He didn't care. He could spend all day thinking about her and all night pleasing her for the rest of his life. Lin had awakened a fire in him that he'd thought had gone out, and now he only wanted to fan those flames. He would have spent the night with Lin doing anything but sleeping if she had let him.

"Stop for a minute," Lin ordered, yanking on his sleeve. "I wanna showya something." Somehow in the midst of his ruminating, they had made it out to the field of tall grass near Lin's house.

"Is this going to be a sexual act?" Shifu asked warily, and Lin laughed in his face in return. That did nothing to answer his question, but he stopped anyway. "What is it, then?"

"Lie down." She gave his sleeve another tug while she lowered herself to the ground and stretched out on her back. "Go on! It's not a sex thing this time."

He tried to keep the relief out of his voice, unsuccessfully. "Oh. Alright, then."

"You're a bigger snot 'an I am," Lin accused, poking him several times in the side while he laid down on his back as she had.

"Enough of that." He batted her hand away from him. "What am I looking for?"

"Not for," Lin correct. "At. Just look straight up at the sky. It's like... There's nothing else in the whole world but the stars and the grass."

Shifu hadn't expected such a sentimental turn in their conversation, but he did as she'd instructed. She was right. From this angle, his view was dominated by the stars, more prominent than ever without the lights of the village or the Jade Palace around him, framed by the long grass as it swayed gently in the breeze. "It's lovely."

"Yeah," Lin said. "Sure is."

Without any conscious thought, his hand sought out hers beside him and held on firmly to that warm, calloused, familiar comfort. "You're wrong," he said, and he could see her skeptical grin from the corner of his eye. "There is more here than the stars and the grass. There is you." And she burned brighter for him than any star in the sky. But he couldn't tell her that, not unless he wanted to start a fight or chase her away.

Lin surprised him by squeezing his hand. "Thanks."

"What for?"

"I dunno. I guess it just kinda feels likeya finally see me."

His heart skipped at that. Perhaps Lin was starting, just a little bit, to fall for him again. "May I kiss you?"

She cackled at the question. "Y'know the answer's yes!"

"But I like asking." He had to hand it to Lin, kissing under the stars, surrounded by the soft rustling of the wind through the tall grass, was more romantic than he'd known. "May I make love to you?"

"No," Lin answered petulantly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?" he asked skeptically.

"Get the wording right," she insisted with an irritated sniff.

He huffed at her insistence, but he knew from experience that this was a hill she was willing to die on. "Very well," he gave in. "May I... Fuck you?" He winced as he said the vulgar word, but Lin seemed to enjoy it.

"Yeah," she agreed breathlessly, wrapping her arms around him. "But be gentle with me."

He nearly died at that order. "Of course," he wheezed out, trying to hide his blush from her by turning away. It didn't work.

"Aw, lookit you getting all flustered," she teased, poking at his cheek. "I knew that'd get t'ya!"

"Stop." Shifu grabbed her hand and kissed it. "Unless you think you can talk and kiss me at the same time."

"An interesting challenge," Lin said with a laugh. "But I'd rather just kiss."

He took her in his arms and did just that. It would have been magical, too, if she had loved him back.

---

Lin gazed up at the stars, filled with a profound sense of longing at the sight of them. She always had been and always would be. To her, they represented what lay just beyond her reach. That certain something she had traveled the globe in search of. Love, acceptance, adventure- all of them and none of them. Maybe Oogway was right, and all she needed was to find inner peace.

She thought of the scroll Shifu had shown her. "Reaching, grasping questions searching for the context needed to answer themselves," it had said. That sounded like her entire being. But it also described her visions, and that description of sharing visions with someone who vibrated at the same frequency... It all sounded just like her and Tai Lung. Yet knowing that didn't exactly help. So she was sharing her visions, without meaning to? Or was Tai Lung sharing with her? It was confusing. And it still didn't explain the ocean spirit, which now haunted the both of them with its never-ceasing gaze.

"What are you thinking about?" Right, Shifu was still lying next to her in the field.

"Just that scroll. It's weird, and probably right, but I can't figure out how it helps." She had no reason to lie or to keep this a secret. She had gone to Shifu for help, and he had proven more helpful than she could have predicted.

"Oh. I am afraid I do not know, either." He reached out hesitantly to her and paused briefly before stroking her hair. It felt nice. "Perhaps it would help if I had more context. Could you tell me more about what you are going through?"

"No." She couldn't. Not without risking betraying Tai Lung's trust. And even without that concern, she didn't feel up to sharing that information with him.

"Alright. Perhaps you could just... Tell me more about yourself?" he suggested.

She jerked her head away from his hand. "Why d'you gotta be such a quiz master all the time, huh?"

"I want to know everything about you," Shifu said with his usual intensity. Which was a lot. "That is simply how I get when I am deeply in love."

Lin didn't answer right away. She needed time to think about his wording. "Deeply, huh?" It didn't seem likely to her. Not after everything he'd put her through.

"Please don't make a sex joke."

"Okay," she said, relaxing at his request. She wished that had been on her mind. She wished she could spend any amount of time with him without internally spiraling like this. She wanted to tell him that, but in the end, she couldn't figure out the words to say. "I miss this." That was as far as she could get. Because she did miss just being with him, without the weight of all their fights and regrets between them.

Shifu looked at her with that soft, sappy face he got whenever he said stupid shit to her. "I love you."

"Yeah, I noticed."

He was quiet for a bit, then took her hand and squeezed it. "I am sorry that I treated you so terribly that you can no longer trust me. I wonder... Uhm..."

"What?" Lin glanced sideways at him, intrigued. He rarely had follow-up questions when it came to his own flaws.

"Is there anything you would like to say to me?" he asked hesitantly. "Anything that you have left unsaid? I would listen. And I would not get defensive. I already know I am soliciting criticism."

She thought on that, nodding to let him know she was formulating a response. The truth was that she didn't see the point. That, and she didn't remember everything wrong he'd done well enough to tell him off for it. "You spent a lotta time hurting my feelings," she told him honestly. "But it's been long enough that the specific examples are kinda all blending together in my memory. It's hard to pick any of it out."

"Hm," he grunted, sounding embarrassed. "You mean, for instance... When I complained about your cooking?"

"Yeah, that," she said, her memory jogged. "And whenya acted like I was gross and hideous. I know I act confident, and it wouldn'ta hurt coming from a stranger. But from you... It made me feel exactly that. Gross and hideous."

"I am sorry," he said weakly. "I did not realize my words had such an effect on you. And even if they hadn't, it was not right of me to behave that way. I don't know how I could make that up to you."

"With a lotta eating out," she tried to joke, but it fell flat even for her. "Jeez, this's a little too serious for my taste."

"I know."

"Emotions're bullshit."

"I know."

"You just know everything tonight, huh?" She realized that had been too harsh, but she couldn't bring herself to apologize. Not to him.

Shifu didn't answer, but he continued to hold her hand and closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

She watched him as his troubled frown evened out and his expression became more restful. She suspected he was trying to meditate through his annoyance at her, instead of getting into an argument, and the newness of his emotional control surprised her. She also felt like crap, like if even Shifu could keep his shit together, then why couldn't she? How had she gotten left behind, yet again?

And that made her afraid. Eventually, he would get tired of her because that was how this story always played out. It was only a matter of time.

"I wish I wasn't so scared of everything all the time," Lin said, staring up at the stars. "I wish I could enjoy the moment I'm in without worrying about how it's all gonna fall apart. I feel like I could do that more back before..." Before Al had died. But she couldn't say that out loud.

"Before you encountered the ocean spirit?" Shifu asked.

"Yeah." She might as well go with that. She hadn't exactly been emotionally healthy after that life event, either. "Shifu. D'you ever wish you could just walk away from all your baggage? Leave it all behind?"

"All the time."

That was a surprise. "Wait- really?"

"Of course," he said with a huff. "Everyone feels that way. But walking away won't help anything."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out by now." She closed her eyes for a bit, just to rest them, and they stopped talking. She'd almost fallen asleep by the time Shifu spoke again.

"I have an idea." He stood and held out his hand to her. "Do you trust me?"

Lin raised her eyebrows at him.

"Alright, that was a stupid question," he admitted. It was strange and almost admirable that he so readily admitted that he had no right to expect her trust anymore. Almost. "Do you trust me enough to let me surprise you, just this once?"

"I dunno," Lin said, wincing. "You been really punishing my pussy lately, I think I'm gonna need a break."

"Wha- that's not what I meant!" Shifu turned in a full circle, huffing indignantly the whole way.

"What're you doing?"

"I was trying to hide my face from you, but obviously there is no point to that," he grumbled, blushing all the way up to his ears. It was hilarious, but Lin held back her laughter.

"Okay. Just saying, even I got my limits-"

"Please stop."

She grinned at how uncomfortable she'd made Shifu. I was true, though. He'd been a lot more enthusiastic than usual, lately. "Okay, fine. What's this surprise?"

"It won't be a surprise if I tell you," he said, raising an eyebrow at her. "So? What do you say?"

Lin considered for a bit before finally taking Shifu's hand and letting him help her up.

"I'm going to need to grab you to do this," he warned. "But I promise, I won't hurt you."

"I know." She bit her tongue to keep from pointing out how much he'd hurt her emotionally already. That wasn't what he was talking about. And she wanted to stop bringing it up all the time. She wanted to stop thinking about it all the time. She wanted to believe him when he said he wouldn't hurt her, in every sense. "Promise me one more time, anyway."

He pulled her close, grabbing her by the waist and pausing to kiss her cheek. "I promise I won't hurt you," he repeated. "Whenever you're ready."

She let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Okay. I'm ready."

Lin hadn't known what to expect, but Shifu throwing her straight up into the air would have been at the bottom of the list. "What the fuck!" she screamed down at him. Or at least she tried. He'd thrown her so hard that it came out more as a series of garbled, wordless screams as adrenaline flooded her system. But she couldn't stay angry, not with the wind in her face, the feeling of weightlessness as she began to fall, and that view. The stars filled her vision, the valley just a distant shadow beneath them. It was like being up there with them, just for a second. There was something about falling and knowing there was someone ready to catch her that made her feel free, too.

Shifu caught her much more gently than she'd expected, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, still laughing while he held her. "Jeez!"

"I thought you might enjoy that." He laughed one of his deep, rumbling laughs that she hardly ever got to hear. It reminded her of their first kiss. "That was Tai Lung's favorite game when he was small."

"Wow, way to infantilize me." She didn't really mean it, but his new attitude still felt too good to be true.

"It isn't my fault you have the same tastes as a toddler," he replied, sticking his nose in the air.

"Holy shit." Lin had to pause to catch her breath. "First you were spontaneous and fun, now you're joking with me. What the hell is going on?"

"You are not the only one who can be occasionally delightful."

"Yeah, well, you're sure delighting my pussy right now."

He gave her a flat stare in response, his ear twitching.

"What? You're making me horny." She kissed the spot right between his eyes, in that cute circle of golden-red fur. "It's kinda weird."

"How flattering of you to say." His stupid sarcastic comment was attractive to her, too. What was wrong with her, lately? "And in any case, I thought you were in need of a break."

"I can't help it," she admitted.

"Your libido concerns me. Shouldn't it be waning by now?"

"It is. I was much more sexually active at my peak."

"How on Earth did you have time for anything else?" This was probably the most willingly Shifu had ever talked to her about sex, but she didn't want to break the spell by pointing it out.

"I just didn't sleep. Remember the whole insomnia thing? I had to do something with all that free time." She noticed he still hadn't put her down. She guessed she wasn't the only one whose libido was kicking up.

"I am going to try not to think about that," he said evenly. His mustache betrayed him by twitching and showing off his jealousy.

"I'm torn," Lin said. "I gotta get home, but I wanna stay and ride that mustache 'til I'm raw."

"You have all the subtlety of a brick through a window," Shifu criticized, though he sounded amused. That was new.

"Subtlety's for losers," Lin taunted back, snorting loudly and sticking her tongue out.

Shifu raised an eyebrow at her, then kissed her neck just light enough to tickle. He didn't even let up when she shrieked straight into his ear, even though it must have hurt.

She knew she shouldn't be enjoying herself so much, but she couldn't help it. Just like she couldn't help kissing him when he finally gave her a breather, or shoving his face back into her neck so he could give her a hickey like they were a couple of horny teenagers. Being a horny adult was more or less the same, though, except that she actually got laid.

"I should let you get home to Gia," Shifu said reluctantly, his voice muffled by her shoulder.

"Probably," Lin agreed, and still Shifu didn't put her down. "But I guess I can be a little late." She'd barely finished her sentence before he was kissing her again. She liked that Shifu actually admitted to having physical feelings now instead of pretending that sex was some kind of chore he had to be convinced into. She liked that he admitted he felt attracted to her, now. It made everything a lot more enjoyable on her end.

"Alright, now I should definitely let you go," Shifu said twenty minutes later while he was picking dried grass from his fur and clothes. He paused to help Lin up and kiss her one more time. "Shall I walk you to your door?"

Lin snorted in amusement. "You gonna get me a bouquet, too?"

"Despite what you may think, it is not embarrassing to be polite." He helped her get her shirt back into place, then offered his hand. "Shall I at least get you across the lake?"

"Yeah, sure." Lin led him out of the grass field to the edge of the lake, a light visible in her little house's window in the distance. "How'd you go from barely knowing how to hold hands to being a good kisser?" She had to ask while she still had the chance. After all, she'd never been the best teacher.

"I am known for applying myself to my studies," Shifu said way too smugly for someone who had only just recently learned how to find a clitoris.

Lin rolled her eyes at him. "Okay, calm down."

"I am afraid that is impossible with you near me." Of course, he was trying to use a line on her. Because this was her life now. And, shamefully, she liked it. She even felt a thrill when he wrapped his arms around her. Nasty.

"God help me, I'm finding you attractive," she grudgingly admitted.

"That statement is shockingly tame for you," he teased with a slight smile on his face.

"Goddammit." She hated that he was making her feel soft and she hated that she enjoyed being with him. And she especially hated the way her whole body felt like it was on fire when he kissed her.

"Hold on tight," he warned before picking her up and leaping across the lake.

"Shit," she cursed in the air, because she loved getting picked up and carried by him, especially while they careened through the air. What in the hell had happened to her?

"Are you alright?" Shifu asked as soon as they landed on the tiny island's dock. He placed her back on her feet but kept hold of her shoulders. "Should I have given you more warning? I'm sorry."

Lin shrugged his hands off. "I'm fine," she lied. "Just horny." Maybe it wasn't a complete lie, more like a partial omission.

"Still?"

She punched him in the arm for that, and he chuckled at his own little joke. "See if I ever touch your dick again."

"Empty threats," he pointed out, rightfully so.

"Fine, but I'm not moisturizing my hands."

"A truly frightening prospect." He took her hands and kissed each of her palms. "I will miss you."

"Ugh, calm it down with that sappy shit."

"Oh, is that what you want? Because last I checked, the more sappy things I say to you, the less you can keep your hands off me."

"You shut the hell up."

"Make me," he replied with a sly smile.

"You're just trying to get another kiss outta me!" She couldn't believe Shifu was flirting with her like this. Or that she was flirting back.

"I am guilty as charged," he admitted sheepishly.

"Alright, I'm ending this," Lin grumbled, then kissed him goodnight and tried to ignore the moony-eyed look he gave her. "Get outta here!" She pushed him a few times before he finally gave in and left, though not before kissing her one last time.

Lin watched him go, just to make sure he didn't turn around or anything. Then she watched the wind in the trees for a while, just because. Well, she also wanted to put off going into her house for as long as possible. It wasn't that she didn't like spending time with Gia. It was just that she needed her alone time, too. And Gia did not understand alone time.

The door swung open, Gia standing on the other side with a wide smile on her face. "Good evening, Mother!"

"Don't call me that," Lin argued half-heartedly, shuffling past her to get changed for the night. A full day at the restaurant was already tiring in itself, but following that work up with a study session had left her feeling like her brain was made out of Ping's noodle dough.

"Oh! You have dirt and long grass all over you!"

"Don't worry about it," Lin waved off.

"I saw you arrive," Gia added. "You and Master Shifu are cute together."

"Ugh, gag me," Lin replied.

"It is true," Gia said as she set out a cup and poured some wine. "He loves you very much."

"Ugh," she repeated but didn't dignify the comment with any more of a response. She stripped out of her dirty clothes before taking the drink Gia offered.

"Must you be nude?" Gia shielded her eyes as if she had never seen a naked body before.

"Yep."

Gia turned fully away from her, still holding a hand up at the side of her face to block her peripheral vision. "It is not proper."

Lin couldn't let those dramatics go without a little needling. "Neither's what Shifu did to me tonight, but apparently you find that cute."

"Augh!"

She laughed at the girl's disgust before grabbing a blanket from her bed to wrap herself up in. "Lucky for you I'm feeling kinda chilly."

"It is too late," she groaned. "I know too much."

"Yeah, yeah," Lin said, rolling her eyes at the dramatics. "There're worse sights in this world 'an my naked body."

"True, but I would still rather not gaze upon any of them," Gia argued.

Lin suspected she had picked some of that sass up from Shifu but kept her mouth shut on the subject. "So, whaddaya wanna do tonight?"

Gia grabbed a blanket for herself and draped it over her lap. "I would like for us to talk tonight, if that is okay."

Lin had seen this coming, not that she was thrilled about it. "As long as it's not about your father," she accepted with a nod.

Gia twisted her blanket in her hands. "I actually wanted to ask you more about... Women."

Now this was unexpected. Lin had thought Gia didn't want to acknowledge this part of herself. "Go on."

She looked away shyly, shrugging one shoulder. "I simply wondered if you had ever... Been in love. With a woman."

"Multiple times," Lin answered candidly, and Gia snapped her head around, eyes wide.

"Really? How many?"

"Of the six times I fell in love, three were with women. I'm very egalitarian like that."

"You fell in love six times?" Gia asked incredulously.

"Yeah. What about you?"

Gia shook her head and covered her face with her hands. Then, she slowly pulled one hand from her face to hold up two fingers. She was just full of surprises tonight.

"Okay, someone's got hidden layers!" Lin nudged her encouragingly, but she just kept shaking her head. "Fine, you don't gotta tell me any more. But I'll tellya about the ladies I loved, ifya want."

"Yes, please," Gia said quietly, finally uncovering her face.

"Well, I already toldya about Parvati," Lin replied. She paused to refill her tea as she thought back on her past. She'd had her doubts about telling Gia the truth about her and Anna, but it needed to be said. And Gia needed to hear it. "The next woman I fell in love with was Anna."

Gia blinked rapidly, stunned. "Anna? As in my mama, Anna?"

"Yeah. I loved her so much but... She picked God over me. So I had to move on." There had never been a conversation between them to that effect, but there had been a silent understanding. And Lin had always known it would be unfair to even ask Anna to choose.

"Is that why you left me?" Gia asked.

"What? No! Of course not, fuck!" Lin couldn't believe she'd even asked, but they didn't know each other that well yet. "I left for the reasons I already toldya. 'Cause I wasn't fit to be a parent, and I had my own life to live. It had nothing to do with my feelings for Anna. If anything, I stayed longer 'cause of 'em."

"I remember you mentioning that when we had first met," Gia said thoughtfully. "I did not realize- that is, I had thought at first that you had meant something romantic, but then it seemed as though you were speaking of friendship-"

"We were close friends," Lin clarified. "Even though I wanted something romantic. I tried not to let that get in the way of our friendship. But... It hurts, unrequited love. As I'm sureya know."

"Yes." Gia grimaced. "I do."

Lin finished off her tea while she waited to see if Gia had any questions about her and Anna. "Should we do another pot?"

Gia nodded, so Lin started brewing the spicy mango cashew blend An Zhi had made for her. "You and Anna... Were never together at all?"

"No," Lin said. "Doesn't mean our relationship was any less important."

"Hm." Gia sipped at her tea. "And you would not have stayed, even if she had returned your feelings?"

"No," Lin said again. "There was only ever one person I did that for. Al."

"Your fiancee?"

She nodded. "We were together a long time. I woulda stayed with him my whole life, if he hadn't died. He was the one." She hoped Gia didn't probe too much further.

"I see," Gia said, staring intently into her cup. "Not Master Shifu?"

She'd fielded this question so many times she could answer it in her sleep. "I loved Shifu. But Al was the one who understood me and accepted me, just the way I was. He never asked me to be anything different. And he was the only one I ever had that with. Does that make sense?"

"Yes. It does." Gia sighed heavily, her gaze turning inward until she took a sip of her tea and managed to snap out of it. "You said there were six people you had love. Will you tell me?"

"Yeah." Lin stalled a minute with her own tea. "My very first love, back when I was just a teenager, was one of my teachers. Wei-Shan. I was always filled with some kinda angst over him, but eventually, we had to part ways. I mean, that's pretty much the script for young love."

"And he was also young?" she asked skeptically.

"Oh hell, no," Lin replied with a bark of laughter. "He's, what, thirty years older 'an me? Something terrible like that. I still loved him with all my little teenaged heart."

Gia wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Ick."

"Don't knock the age difference 'tilya try it," she said, laughing again. "I always did love that middle-aged spread."

Gia shook her head, sticking her tongue out. "No. Now please tell me about this last person you have not mentioned."

That was gonna bring down the mood. The one she hadn't wanted to mention was... "Sofie." Lin cleared her throat, trying to detach herself from the anxiety that inevitably came with revisiting these memories. "She was one of my most serious relationships. We were together five years, traveling around Europe together. Really, she was following me. She couldn't go back to her hometown, not after they found out she was with another woman. And I thought that was fine, screw 'em, y'know? But it was never fine for her. It wasn't a great or a stable relationship, and eventually, it fell apart."

"How so?"

"I dunno if she even wanted to be with a woman," Lin answered honestly. "She thought I was a man when we first fell in love, and she said the truth didn't matter to her... But it always seemed like it kinda did. And she hated living the kinda life I lived, always on the road. And I was still pretty messed up, after having been to war, so I wasn't always pleasant to be around." She ignored Gia's knowing nod at that part. "But I tried. For her. And in the end, it wasn't enough. She... Got tired of me. That was the breakup I toldya about, when I tried to drown myself in the sea." And then she had met the ocean spirit, which had saved her. But that part wasn't relevant to Gia.

Gia stopped nodding, her eyes widening. Then, she grabbed Lin and pulled her into a tight hug. "I am sorry, Mama," she said quietly.

"Don't call me that." Lin's reply was muffled by Gia's shoulder, but besides turning her head to get some air she didn't struggle against the embrace. It was nice, actually. "I just felt so unlovable. So disposable. It's not something I like to talk about."

"You are not unlovable," Gia said fiercely. "I love you. Li mortacci sua, de suo nonno, de sua madre e dei tre quarti daa palazzina sua!"

Lin laughed at the unexpectedly vulgar insult. It was the last thing she would expect to come from Gia's mouth, which made it all the better. "Thanks." She patted Gia on the back and wriggled out of the girl's grasp, and though she was still grinning over the cursing, there was something else to address. Did she love Gia? Had they grown close enough for her to be able to say those words and mean them? When she dug deep and envisioned what it would be like to remain silent, she had her answer. "I don't feel like your mother. And that might never happen." She took Gia's hands in her to make it clear this was not a rejection. "You might hafta get used to that. But I want to be your friend. And I love you like a friend." It was the most she could do, for now.

Judging by Gia's insistence on crying and hugging her again, it would probably be enough.

---

A/N: Oh my GOD! I DID IT I FINISHED THIS CHAPTER. I'm very proud of myself. Full disclosure, I'm going through a contentious divorce (long story short: abusive marriage, I fled with nothing but some clothes and the pets, my cat died suddenly that exact same day, I am deeply in debt, cue this is fine meme). This means that my time for writing is extremely limited, hence the sudden slowdown. I am getting maybe twenty words a day done. But they're happening! They're getting written! Chapters 33 through 36 are concurrently in progress as we speak, and depending on lengths there might be up to 38 total chapters. We're getting there! Now for the references:

Ambush from Ten Sides is a classical Chinese song about the Battle of Gaixia in 202 BC, written for thepipa (and viewable on youtube!) in 1818- though it may be based on earlier songs from the 17th century.

Gia's Italian:

"Li mortacci sua, de suo nonno, de sua madre e dei tre quarti daa palazzina sua!"

- Fuck her dead relatives, and her grandfather's, and her mother's, and those of the three-quarters of her apartment block!

This is apparently an incredibly insulting thing to say in Italy so probably don't repeat it if you're ever a tourist there.

Okay, I do believe that's it. And since I will probably take forever to get the next chapter up (it's a big'un), I'll say it now: Happy winter holidays! And of course, thank you for reading and reviewing. I would write this even if y'all didn't, but it means a lot to me.