A/N: Hey everyone, here's a quick update for you because I was so inspired to write after the season finale aired and I'm already missing MerHayes content that I know I'm going to be struggling getting through this hiatus. But I had so much fun writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I decided that in line with the time jumps in the season finale, I would do the same for this story, though a little differently as it'll be through the seasons rather than months. As always, I appreciate the positive comments you all leave me and I'm glad you're enjoying this story!
SUMMER
Recovery.
It was a word that she was long familiar with. Between watching so many of her patients go through the journey of it over the years and the countless ones she's been on herself, whether they were from physical, mental, or emotional pain, she knew that it was never a linear process. There were going to be good days, and bad; days when it seems like you're finally over it and days when it feels like you're back to where you started. And it's those days when you can feel the pain cut so deep that you don't know whether you have the strength to start again. It's during those times when she remembers the words a therapist of hers had once said; that horrible things do happen, but happiness in the face of all that was not the point. Feeling horrible, however, but knowing you're not going to die from those feelings, that was the whole point.
And it was something she needed to remind herself of now.
It had been six weeks since she became conscious and stable, and out of everything she's had to recover from, COVID has been by far the worse. She was thankful and fortunate that further labs and scans had shown no further deterioration with her lungs and other vital organs, and examinations when it came to her breathing made it known that no further therapies were going to be needed. However, it was the aftereffects and post-virus symptoms that lingered around that became her worse enemy. The ongoing cough. Fatigue. The breathlessness she felt after she did something as simple as walking up the stairs or picking up her youngest daughter and nephew. Most of all, the guilt, as she was left to wonder how she was part of the statistic that managed to survive while millions of others died.
It had been four weeks now since she was discharged from the hospital and finally returned to the comfort of her own home, and she was thankful for the village that surrounded her that continued to care for her. Between her sisters and their partners all staying at home with her during their respective day offs to help her care for the children, and even Hunt, Altman, Bailey, and Webber stopping by for visits, she never felt like she was ever alone with this particular battle. There were days when the frustration got to her; when her lingering symptoms reminded her that her body was never going to be the same as it was, and when she ached for the high of surgery. And it was in those days specifically that she was thankful for the love and patience her family time and again demonstrated towards her. How when she needed someone, they would always be there.
Well, that was except for this particular day, though it wasn't of anyone's fault.
It had been just a regular day at the sister house with Meredith and Amelia at home with the children. Maggie had gone in to work that day, along with Link and Winston. Meredith's three children went on as usual with their online classes while Amelia spent some time with her son. As for Meredith, she had been busy reviewing her patients' charts to get caught up with all that she's missed, despite the many orders from her sisters and Bailey to take it easy and rest, which she knew she was never going to do in the capacity they wanted her to do. The morning had gone on as normal until Amelia got an emergency page from the hospital for one of her patients. After assuring her sister that she would be fine on her own, Amelia had quickly left, leaving Meredith alone with the four children. Everything had been fine. Until Scout began to fuss and cry, and Meredith hoped and prayed that the baby would calm down soon enough.
It had been an hour since, and all attempts she had made to soothe the small child had been unsuccessful. From giving him his bottle, to rocking him back and forth, it seemed that the only possible option left was to get him in the company of one of his parents', a solution that was not possible in that moment. Meredith now stood in her kitchen, pacing back and forth, as this seemed like one of the only things that calmed the child down even just for a little bit. However, she could feel herself starting to wear down once again, her breathing getting heavy from the exertion and effort of carrying her nephew and trying to soothe him. This, along with the fact that her own children would be getting a break from their classes in an hour, and she had yet to make them a lunch, caused in her another feeling of frustration as she knew that all such actions would have been effortless before.
"Come on, Scout," she murmured to her nephew, as if he would understand her. "Please go to sleep for Auntie Mer." Exhausted, she pulled out a chair from her kitchen table and sat down, though this only exaggerated the child's cries. She would put up with it for a little longer, she thought, as she opened her laptop sitting on the table and pulled up on her screen the hospital's employee schedule, hoping that Hunt, Altman, Wilson, basically anyone, would be free to come save her from her troubles. A quick look through the Attendings' list caused her to groan when she saw all were working that day, and her hopes of getting help was decreasing by the second until her eyes landed on another name and seeing that he was available.
For a minute, she paused, hesitating. Sure, she considered them to be friends. And ever since that night he visited her in her room when she woke up and the days that followed when she was still in the hospital and he checked in on her once in a while in between patients, she had to begrudgingly admit to herself that perhaps certain feelings she was trying to avoid around the surgeon was only now easier said than done. Nonetheless, the two of them had never found themselves to be in a situation where they'd had to ask for favours from one another, and certainly never one that involved any of their kids as it seemed far too intimate. However, the longer she sat there with her nephew crying in her ear and the more tired she felt by the minute, she knew that this time she would have to put aside her pride and perhaps bury some feelings down or else she was afraid she would be at risk of passing out again.
With a sigh, she picked up her phone and before she could change her mind, dialed his number. A few rings in with no answer, she was about to give in and hang up when a familiar Irish accent spoke. "Hello?"
"Uh, hi," she stammered, suddenly feeling nervous and stupid that she'd even called.
"Grey? Is that you?"
"Uh, yes," she mumbled, and at that moment, she felt like hitting herself as she silently talked herself into forming more coherent sentences.
"What's going on? Are you alright?"
"Well, I have a situation," she began to say with a raised voice as Scout began to cry louder. "I'm home alone with three young kids and a baby that will not stop crying. I'm exhausted, and Amelia and Maggie are at the hospital. So are Link and Winston. Hunt, Altman, and Wilson are all also working. So I guess what I'm trying to say is how fast can you get here?"
"Wow, Grey. You trying to tell me I'm your last possible option?" He said jokingly, and she was almost positive that he had a smirk on his face at that very moment.
"Okay, forget it. I'm hanging up now," she retorted, exasperated.
"Don't, I'm sorry," he apologized with a small chuckle. "Text me your address and I can be there in twenty."
Cormac Hayes was a man who wasn't very easily surprised. He'd spent years in his career as a surgeon learning to always expect the unexpected. That, along with raising teenaged sons, he had managed to figure out when a situation would turn out predictable. However, a call for help from Meredith Grey was the very least he was ever expecting.
Not just because he'd become familiar with how she was. A woman who was as stubborn as a mule. Even more so than himself. A woman who was so fierce and powerful that, along with her great sense of understanding and sympathy, would much rather carry all the burden on her own instead of causing troubles for anyone else. But there was also the fact that she had called him that made it more personal. Perhaps he could have been reading it all wrong. And although it certainly did look like he was her last possible option, something about calling him regardless made him think that perhaps the two of them had grown closer than either of them had thought.
"Aye, I'm headed out," he announced to his family as he headed downstairs and towards the door. His younger son currently was on break from his online classes and was fixing himself up a snack in the kitchen while Irene was sat in the living room watching one of her daytime talk shows. Even on the days when he was off from work, there were times Irene had made her way to his house anyway, and although it was often left unsaid between them, it was due to them enjoying each other's company as family. And on days like these ones, Cormac was thankful for her presence as now his sons wouldn't have to be alone. "Tell Liam when he's done his class, will you? I'll be back as soon as I can."
"I thought you weren't on-call today," Irene called over from the couch. "Is it an emergency?"
"Something like that," he mumbled as he fumbled for his keys, in a hurry to get out before Irene could interrogate him some more. "Alright, later!"
"Not so fast," Irene called behind him, and he shook his head, knowing he probably shouldn't have said anything at all. "You're being suspicious. What do we think, Austin? Is your dad hiding something?"
"Probably has something to do with Dr. Grey," Austin teased from where he was standing from the kitchen counter. When his father didn't say anything, as he had no valid excuses to even deny the fact, he cheered. "No way, I can't believe I was right!"
"Is that true?" Irene now asked with a smirk on her face.
Cormac rubbed the back of his neck as he stood there, embarrassed he got caught. He felt as if he was a teenaged lad again caught sneaking out. "It's not that serious. Her family are all at work at the hospital today and she called needing some help with her kids, so I'm just going to her house to do her a favour. Nothing more."
"Well, in that case, no need to hurry home. Take all the time you need," Irene teased, a smirk still on her face, causing him to roll his eyes.
"Dad, I'm surprised you haven't started smiling yet. Maybe I need to say her name again," Austin added to the teasing.
"See what you've done," Cormac said, looking pointedly at his sister-in-law only for her to brush him off.
"When do I get to meet this Dr. Grey?" she asked. "She's alive and kicking. You've got no more excuses."
"Let me think of one, then I'll tell you," he said, half-jokingly and half-seriously, then walked out the door and quickly closed it behind him before any one of them could say anything else.
The drive to her place was a quiet one, as he spent the majority of it trying to calm the fire bubbling up in his stomach at the thought of spending some time with her away from the hospital, with her family, no less. Although there had been plenty of times when they have shared stories about their children, and many moments while she was unconscious in the hospital that he had spent talking to her kids every time they called, it was certainly one thing to speak and get to know them through a screen and another to actually interact with them in person. Although he had a knack to be likeable to younger children, he realized that that was part of the job as a pediatric surgeon so those tiny humans wouldn't be so afraid in letting him cut them open in surgery. Making himself likeable and appealing to Meredith Grey's children, however, suddenly seemed to be a daunting task as he silently admitted to himself of wanting to make a good first impression on them.
As he finally pulled up to her driveway and made his way towards her front door, he kept muttering to himself to calm down. Being around her always seemed to make him forget how to be a functional person and, rather, act like some kind of awkward teenager talking to a girl for the first time. As he rang the doorbell and waited for her to answer, he took a few deep breaths and tried to minimize his expectations, which were low to begin with. This isn't like the times they would share a drink and he would hope that a moment would come up in which he can appropriately express whatever feelings he had about her. Rather, this was a situation that involved showing help and kindness to her and her family and his only goal regarding such a matter was to make her life a little easier, at least for the next few hours.
Or so was the thought in his head until she opened the door to greet him and he was a little taken back by her appearance. He was obviously not expecting her to be lounging around her home while recovering in scrubs or even the semi-formal attire she would wear to and from work, but seeing her so casual made him feel lucky that she considered him close enough to her to let him see her in a way that wasn't so put together; in a way that she wasn't Meredith Grey, board certified surgeon and Catherine Fox award winner, but Meredith Grey, mother and friend. And seeing her standing there with her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail wearing a pair of sweats and an old Dartmouth t-shirt, he couldn't help but smile and think about the beauty and light she still managed to exude.
If he had on an obvious grin on his face, he was thankful that she didn't seem to notice as she continued to be pre-occupied with the crying child in her arms. "Oh, thank God. Come in," she greeted, quickly ushering him inside as she made her way back to the kitchen.
"Good lord, Grey, what did you do to the poor thing?" He teased as he followed her.
"My nephew hates me," she said with such a serious tone that he had to hold back a laugh. "Either that, or the three months in the hospital has made him forget who I even am." He watched her as she sat down on the chair, gently rocking the baby back and forth while attempting to give him his bottle only for him to refuse it as his cries continued to get louder. He noticed the evident look of exhaustion and frustration on her face and the noticeable rising and falling of her chest, a clear sign that she was getting breathless, and it ached him to witness her having such decreased energy.
"Here, let me have a go with the little one," he offered gingerly, stretching out his arms in which Meredith gladly accepted his help and passed Scout and his bottle onto him.
"He likes being rocked while you pace back and forth," she advised him. "At least that's what Link does and it usually works."
"I got this, Grey," he assured her, a tender smile now appearing on his face as he looked down at the child now situated in his arms. One of his favourite parts working as a pediatric doctor had to be the amount of time he got to spend with babies and toddlers that always reminded him of the good old days when his own boys were that small, and how he was reminded of certain moments in their lives when they were the happiest. One of his biggest regrets had been having to complete his residency when Liam was such a young age, and though he wished that he was able to witness some milestones, he knew that he always tried to be the best father he possibly can be and to make his sons feel so loved that they never for a moment had to question it. Perhaps this was all the more so why he admired and appreciated Meredith's parenting efforts so much as he understood the baggage that their profession came along with, and just by having seen thus far in their limited interactions how much her children were cared for and loved, his admiration grew even more for the woman in his presence now.
Meanwhile, as she watched him cradle her nephew while walking back and forth in the space of her kitchen, she was shocked at how comfortable and normal it all seemed, like it was a usual occurrence to have him there and help her pick up the pieces of her chaotic life. She recognized how her home had not just been hers, but everyone else's as well, for that matter. Over the years, she had witnessed so many of her friends from the hospital become her family just by simply adopting that environment as one of their own. And as her sisters found partners over the years that she felt just as connected to, it was easy to picture them there in her childhood home and making them family. But there was a different feeling when it came to Cormac Hayes, someone that barely a year ago was just a stranger to her. Seeing him there now, however, in her presence and helping her out in a way she never would've even imagined six months ago, she couldn't help but think how he just perfectly fit; how he, too, had potential to become her family. And seeing him there now made her think of his words to her the very first day they met.
Listen, Grey, this is your house. But someone gave me a key, so maybe it's best that we learn how to live together.
At the remembrance of this memory, she couldn't help but think how much has changed in so little time. She thought about how over the past year, they did, in fact, learn how to live together in the hospital as they welcomed each other into their respective operating rooms, how they had learned to respect and appreciate each other's surgical techniques and patient care, and how they had made different parts of the hospital home to them. She realized now that he wasn't just a guest after all, but instead brought on a feeling of a long -lost family member, someone she didn't know she had in her life but needed. And seeing him in her actual home now made her see that perhaps learning how to live together there had the potential to take on a new meaning she never could've seen coming.
Her heartbeat quickened at the thought as unwelcomed butterflies filled her stomach. She then quickly stood up from the table to search for a distraction to avoid spiraling. "Grey, you know you should really rest," Hayes had called out to her as she walked to her refrigerator.
"My kids aren't going to feed themselves," she replied as she took out some slices of cheese and a block of butter, as well as a pan from under her sink. She was thankful that her sisters had inherited some culinary skills as she certainly was limited in that regard but making grilled cheese sandwiches was something she at least knew how to do.
"How are they holding up with the online classes?" He queried as he continued to rock Scout, who, surprisingly, had begun to settle down.
"Well, Ellis misses playing with her friends, so seeing them just on a screen was not her cup of tea," she began to explain while taking out slices of bread. "But at least she still gets to talk to them everyday one way or another, so she warmed up to it eventually. Bailey, well, he has a hard time sitting still in front of the computer all day so Link pretty much had to supervise him in the beginning to make sure he was actually paying attention. And when he realized that that wasn't going to be fun for either him or his uncle to do that everyday for the rest of the year, he eventually learned how to do things on his own. That, and the fact that Link would bribe him into watching superhero movies or playing video games with him. And Zola, she's always been quiet and independent, so I think she's actually enjoying being at home."
"It's a big adjustment," he acknowledged. "It's good they're taking it so well, all things considering."
"And what about your boys?"
"They're handling it the best they can. They know that Irene is gonna be on them if they don't finish their work, and I'm thankful, honestly, that she's around. Even when Abigail was still alive, I wasn't all that good with anything related to school, so she was the one to care for it." As he was speaking, she became aware of the way his whole demeanor changed every time his wife would come up in conversations; the way he spoke more mellow and the way a hint of nostalgia would cross his face along with a broken smile. She felt for him, she truly did, as she still became that way from time to time at the mention of Derek. "Anyways," he continued with a sigh, "they're teenagers, so more than anything, all they want to be is with their friends. I'm just glad they have each other to give them some company, you know? Though, I think there are times staying home all day every day with each other gets too much, and Liam gets annoyed at Austin to the point I'm sure he wishes he could be an only child."
At this, Meredith laughed. "I think Zola feels the exact same way. She likes having the younger ones around because she likes being the boss and she likes being protective of them. But then there are times they get too loud, and sometimes Hunt and Altman bring their kids here, so then they all get extra loud. And I can understand where she's coming from because they can get too much for my own liking at times." She then stopped talking for a moment as a far-away look on her face appeared, almost in reminiscence. "You know when Derek and I were first talking about having children," she continued and, at this, he momentarily stopped rocking the baby in his arms to give her his full attention at the mention of her husband's name. "He wanted them because he never wanted me to be alone. Should anything happen to him, he didn't want it to be just me. And so now when I look at my kids and my sister's kid and all my friends' kids, I can't help but think how he would've been so happy if he was here having them all around. He grew up with four sisters, he would've loved all this noise and chaos. And then I look at all these kids and realize how lucky they are to all have each other because I never had that growing up. I literally did not have a village of people until I became a surgeon, and here they are having one at such young ages and I could not be happier for that. And I get it now, what Derek meant, about having people around. I was in the hospital for months and not once did my kids have to suffer because they had their village. Our village."
As she spoke, he couldn't help but think about the fact that there were so many things about her he still didn't know. He was always aware of her complicated family history, though not knowing many of the details. He was fortunate himself to have had a close relationship with most of his family, especially that of his mother. Thus, hearing her speak of her childhood and not having many in her corner growing up brought in him a feeling of pity for her. However, he was also impressed and felt pride at the family she was able to grow along the way; how even after being in hostile environments, she found it in her to love and build something so strong from basically nothing. Her husband and children aside, he was most impressed by the family that she built in the hospital. Upon arriving, he immediately felt that close bond amongst everyone there, especially when it came to his fellow attendings. It didn't come as a surprise to him that Meredith had been the center of it all, and not just because it was her name written outside the building. But even when she had been sick and he witnessed every single staff rally around her did he truly realize how much of an impact she had on everyone around her. And perhaps this is why he felt even more honored now that she didn't just ask, let alone consider, him for assistance this day, but that she's tolerated him for this long as he could still recall their very first meeting and the words she had snapped at him that day in the operating room.
Listen, Dr. Whoever-You-Are. This is my house. You're a guest in my home.
For so long, he knew that was all he was ever going to be; just a mere guest in between the walls of her home amongst her sisters and their partners and every other hospital staff that she claimed as her family. And yet, he also flashbacked to the night outside her hospital room when she was searching for a Power of Attorney and her doubts about making anyone of them hers as they were all family, including himself. But he knew that he could never measure up to what all the others meant to her. However, it was this moment now between them that offered him a beacon of hope; that perhaps slowly something was shifting and he could someday be someone that she could also consider as being part of her family, part of her home, in whatever capacity that might be. The past year he had been trying to build a home and a new beginning in Seattle, and he knew that it was mostly due to her that he was finding the strength to build new roots, something that he didn't think he was capable of doing after Abigail's death. And yet, somehow, he managed to amongst Meredith Grey and her village.
With all of these thoughts in mind, he now turned to look at her with a soft smile. "Grey, this village of yours," he began to say, then paused as he began to feel a little bashful. "It's, um, it's been hard trying to settle down here with Irene and the boys and just moving on. But you and the hospital, well, I guess what I'm trying to say is just thank you for letting me be a guest in your village, in your home."
The way he had said this to her, with a shy smile and full sincerity, made something inside of her break, and brought her back to her own thoughts just moments earlier about how much has changed between them and the role he played in her life. She wished so badly now to have done things differently in their first encounter, to take back those words and change what her judgments have been then. She wanted to tell him now that he wasn't just a guest in her village, but someone she had been waiting for to come home. But before she had the chance to, his attention focused back on her nephew. "Well, would you look at that," he said with a chuckle as he looked at the baby he was cradling who had finally fallen fast asleep.
"How did you do that?" she wondered, slightly impressed that something she had been attempting to do for so long he had managed to do in what seemed like just a few minutes.
"Now don't be so surprised, Grey," he said in a teasing tone. "You know kids adore me."
She rolled her eyes in response before letting out a soft giggle as she had to admit to herself that the man in front of her of course had natural abilities when it came to children. She had seen it for herself many times whenever she consulted on his patients and operated on them; the way he was able to joke with them and ease their worries and concerns. She had grown to admire the way he ran the pediatrics department, and his way with his patients and their families made her miss Robbins and Karev a little less.
As she finished off with making the lunch for her kids, she turned her attention back to him and her nephew. "Here, I'll put him down on his crib," she said as she began to reach out for Scout. He, however, denied her efforts. "Let me do it, Grey, you need to rest," he told her firmly.
She sighed and begrudgingly complied as she took a seat back at the table. She had to admit that it got frustrating and a bother to her to hear those words so often, and it didn't help that the only people that surrounded her were all doctors, meaning she was often lectured about her need for recovery. But she knew that the man with her was just as stubborn as she was, and this was a battle she would lose. "Fine. He has a crib in the playroom that's by the front door. You can put him down there."
As he nodded and began walking away, she focused her attention now back on the folders sat on her table that were filled with patient charts and began to review one of them. "Please tell me you're not working," Cormac said to her with a pointed look as he came back into the room, clearly not impressed.
"I have been away for more than three months. I don't have any new patients and Bailey won't let me have any access to my own department, no matter how much I beg her. So, no, I'm not working," she clarified.
He raised his eyebrows at her, not totally believing her claim. "Okay, so what's all this, then?"
"They're charts and discharge papers and autopsy reports of the patients I had before I got sick."
"Ah, so you're not working. You're reviewing and ruminating, which you and I both know are all the same things."
"Do you know how awful it feels to know that I've survived this but so many of my patients and yours and those of others didn't?" She voiced out, completely disregarding his obvious disapproval. "I'm fortunate that I have access to great healthcare and that I had a team of great doctors pulling for me at every complication. But even access to healthcare or not, there are still so many that have just died when they had no reasons to. People that were healthy, people that seemed like they were on their way to recovering; those people just died with no warning. And it's up to us and it'll make us better doctors to know why this is happening so that next time, we can do it differently."
As she ranted away, his disapproval at her working began to soften as those feelings were replaced with sympathy. Survivor's guilt; he knew the feeling all too well as he recalled the many times he wished he could've taken away his wife's pain and endure it for her. He knew that Meredith meant well, that all the hard work she always put in was for the benefit of her patients. But now she was attempting to carry something all on her own rather than sharing the burden. "Grey, you and I both know that things can just happen," he said plainly in a soft tone. "We've seen it all the time, COVID or otherwise. The universe doesn't pick and choose who gets sick and who doesn't, who's wife gets cancer and who's doesn't, who's husband gets hit by a semi-truck and who's doesn't." At the mention of those statements, he paused and shook his head at the incredulity of it all. "You survived, Grey. And so have many others. And don't you dare ever feel like your life matters less than someone else's. You don't have to carry this guilt with you, and it's not all on your shoulders to figure out what is and isn't working. That's on all of us, not just you. And maybe when you start learning how to share some of that burden with the rest of us, then you can start to truly feel the joy of being alive again."
At his words, Meredith was dumbfounded at how easily he was able to read through her. Despite wanting to care for her patients and desiring to figure out a solution, she knew deep down that that newfound sense of drive to fix them was because of the guilt she did feel of being alive and well while so many of them had struggled or were still struggling. There were moments while she was sick that she did want to give up, but she always had that choice to fight and to live; a choice that so many had been robbed of. But hearing his words to her now made her experience feel validated, as if it was the permission she needed to keep living without having to feel the guilt and burden that came along with it.
She had wanted to express her gratitude for his comfort but before she could do so, they were interrupted by the noise of children hurriedly running down the stairs.
"Mama, I'm hungry!" Ellis announced as she entered the kitchen followed by Bailey, then Zola.
"Why don't you guys say hi to Dr. Hayes," she said as she gestured to the surgeon that had thus far been unnoticed by them.
At the sight of him, big smiles suddenly appeared on all of their faces as they clearly remembered him from all their past video chats. "Dr. Hayes!" Zola exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, just came by to help your mum out with some work," he answered her with a smile. In his peripheral vision, he noticed the way Meredith was watching their interactions and the feeling he had earlier on his way to her house was back as he hoped he was making a good impression. "Now who's hungry? Your mum made some sandwiches. Zola, do you wanna help me put them on the table?"
"Sure! I'll get some juice too!"
If watching him with her nephew earlier had shocked her of the feeling of familiarity and normalcy of it all, then watching the scene unfold in front of her now was something indescribable. She was amazed at how comfortable her children were with him, almost as if he was a regular in the house and was no different than any of the other men, whether it was Link or Winston or Owen, that were always around. And as they all gathered around the kitchen table eating and laughing, she was in awe of the way he would always humor each statement and question they fired at him and talked to them with such ease that she was left to wonder now how much exactly she missed while unconscious on her hospital bed.
"Mama, play catch outside after lunch?" Ellis then asked in between bites.
There was nothing else in the world Meredith wanted more than to spend time with her children and play around and have fun with them. But at the request of this specific activity, she could feel the events of the morning finally catching up to her as she felt her breathing go shallow again. Sensing this and her hesitancy, Cormac was quick to say, "I think your mum is feeling a little too tired for catch today. But I can play with you, Ellis, if you don't mind."
If there had been any disappointments Ellis had with her mother for not being able to join them, she dismissed it quickly as she cheered at the pediatric surgeon's response. "Yay!"
"Dr. Hayes, do you play soccer too?" Bailey now asked him.
"I do. In fact, I play with my boys once in a while. They say they're better than me, but that's only because sometimes I let them win," he said with a smile and a wink, to which Bailey laughed.
"Mommy," Zola now spoke up. "Maybe you should get some sleep. You are looking pretty tired."
"Oh, no. I'm fine, Zozo," she assured her daughter.
At this, Zola turned towards Cormac's direction. "Auntie Amelia and Auntie Maggie are always telling mommy to sleep and get some rest but when they aren't looking, mommy always starts reading her paperwork instead."
This caused him to bark out a laugh in response as Meredith shook her head at her daughter. "Yep, that sounds exactly like her," Cormac chuckled while looking fondly at Meredith. "Seriously, though, Grey, go get some rest. I think we can handle ourselves here for a little while."
"Yeah, mommy, we got this," Zola said with a determined smile on her face as her other children now looked at her expectantly.
"Since when was it okay for you to gang up on me like this, huh?" She teased her children and the man sitting across from her. Knowing she was never going to win now, however, with all four of them against her, she complied and stood up from her chair as she admitted to herself that perhaps it was in her best interest that she goes to lay down for a while. "Alright, I'm going. Just make sure they go back to their classes in an hour. There's a baby monitor literally in every corner of this house to check on Scout, and Amelia's got two more bottles of milk in the fridge should you need them," she instructed Cormac.
"We got this, Grey," he assured her, echoing her daughter's words. "Don't worry about us."
"Thank you," she said softly, and began walking away and headed to the direction of her bedroom.
As she entered her room and collapsed onto her bed, she couldn't help but smile as she could faintly hear the voices and laughter still going on downstairs. She closed her eyes and let the sound of their happiness put her to sleep like a soothing lullaby.
When she had woken up much later, the disorientation she felt as she shook the slumber out of her had momentarily made her forget all that had occurred that day. But then it hit her; the realization that she had left her kids in the company of the Pediatric Surgeon who, for some reason, had been so gracious enough to help care for them. The next thing to go through her head now was the confusion she had of her dark room in which light had still been seeping in through her curtains as she fell asleep. A slight turn of her head to look towards the direction of the clock on her nightstand and the time she read caused her to immediately spring out of her bed. The bright red numbers that read "7:03" had meant she slept through the entire afternoon and well into the evening and she couldn't figure out how that was possible. As a surgeon with three young children, she couldn't even remember the last time she slept an adequate eight hours and here she was nearly reaching it in an afternoon. Above all, she couldn't comprehend now what could've happened throughout her peaceful slumber that her children and the man with them didn't think to wake her up.
She now hurried back downstairs and was welcomed by the darkness that surrounded her living room. She had went into the playroom to check briefly on Scout, who was soundly sleeping in his crib, before walking towards the direction of her kitchen where she could hear the sound of lively voices and the sight that greeted her was one she never in a million years would have expected. On her stove, she could see a dish casserole with cooked pasta, and a tray of freshly baked cookies sitting on her counter. At the kitchen table, her eldest and her son sat together doing homework, with her daughter reading a book and her boy doing an art project and stood behind them was Cormac Hayes himself with her youngest child in his arms, simultaneously helping the older two with their work while attempting to also pay attention to whatever video her youngest was showing him from her tablet.
As she watched them, she couldn't help but get a feeling of warmth and comfort at seeing the domestic scenes around her. The smiles on her children's faces and the evident amenity they were experiencing in his presence brought in her a feeling of revelation as if she was realizing something for the first time. She couldn't quite put her finger on what that was just yet, but she had to admit that there was a different feeling in seeing this man be so comfortable with her children. She was used to seeing her sisters' partners around her children and she witnessed all the time how her children responded with them in a familial manner. However, there was something now about seeing how they interacted with the Irishman that felt different as she observed the bond they quickly formed with him and the adoring way they all looked at each other. It enforced to her even more now about her own bond that she has formed with him; no longer that of a guest and a host, but family. And throughout the past years after feeling like there was always something missing, for the first time, everything seemed complete.
"Mama's awake!" Ellis now cried out, finally noticing her mother standing by the entryway.
"What's going on?" Meredith wondered with a smile as she slowly approached them all at the table.
"Dr. Hayes has been helping us with our homework," Zola replied, looking over at her. "And after school, we made some cookies and then dinner and then he was telling us cool stories from peds like what Uncle Alex used to do!"
"And we went and played soccer outside!" Bailey added with a goofy smile.
"Sounds like you had a busy afternoon," Meredith said, still dumbfounded and amazed at the excitement her children were exuding and all they had managed to do in a short period of time. She now looked over at the surgeon across from her who was still pre-occupied at whatever it was her daughter was trying to show him on her tablet. At the feeling of her eyes on him, he now looked up and made eye contact with her. At her gaze, he felt bashful, suddenly having a fear that he had overstepped too much when it came to her children at having done all of this with them and for her. As for her, however, she was at a lost on how to express her gratitude and how she would ever make this up to him.
Before they could say or do anything further, the front door suddenly opened. "I'm home!" Maggie's voice echoed throughout the house. "I am so sorry, I should've been home earlier but a massive trauma came in and they needed me to consult and I saw Amelia at the hospital and she's still dealing with her patient so I tried my best to be back early because I knew you were gonna be alone and I-" Her sentence was then cut off as she arrived at the kitchen and saw the scene that awaited her. Standing beside Meredith now, she shifted her gaze between her and Cormac a few times, appalled. A silence befell the three surgeons, and whatever awkwardness was in the air went undetected by the three children as they carried on with their activities.
"Hayes, hi!" Maggie now greeted, still looking at him and Meredith incredulously.
"Pierce, hello," he responded with an awkward smile. When no one proceeded to say anything else, he cleared his throat and released Ellis from his arms before saying, "Um, I should probably get going. Irene and the boys are waiting for me."
"Bye, Dr. Hayes!" Zola said to him, followed by an echo of her words from her brother. Surprising all three adults in the room, Ellis then made his way back to him and clung onto his leg. "Thanks for playing with us today," she said as she looked up at him sweetly, causing the surgeon to give her a fond smile.
"You stay good for your mum and your aunts and uncles, alright?" He said as he ruffled her hair. "I'll see you later," he added to Zola and Bailey as he gave both a pat on their shoulder.
"Let me walk you out," Meredith was quick to say as she wished to avoid Maggie's continued questioning glance and smirk, though she knew she would never hear the end of this later.
Once they were outside on her front porch, the two surgeons stood quietly for a moment and spent time just looking at each other. They both knew that it had been an eventful day of all sorts and neither one knew how to bring up what it all could mean. Finally, Meredith spoke. "You know you didn't have to do all that."
"Nonsense, it was nothing," he said with a shrug. "I miss it, you know, when my boys were that age so really, Grey, don't worry about it. They're beautiful kids."
"I'm afraid you've spoiled them rotten," she teased. "Be warned, they're gonna be asking for you all the time now and they're just as stubborn as I am."
"They wouldn't be your kids if they weren't," he laughed.
"Thanks for all your help today," she said now, as sincerely as she could, hoping that he would be able to sense her genuineness.
At this, he smiled. "As someone who was your last option, I have to say this went better than we both probably thought, wouldn't you agree?" He teased, earning a small giggle from her. "But, um, it was my pleasure." He took a few more seconds standing there looking at her, savoring being in her presence as long as he could. Then he sighed. "Well, I'll see you later, Grey. Take it easy and I promise, you'll get back there soon."
As she watched him begin to walk away, she reflected on all that happened throughout the day, thinking about his willingness to come help her out in the first place despite it being his day off and probably would have rather spent it with his own family and the way her children had immediately found comfort with him and the safety she herself felt the entire day at just knowing he was around. She recalled back to her earlier thoughts that day about the role he now played in her life, how much it had changed in such a short amount of time. And before she could stop herself, she called out to him. "Hey, Hayes?"
Turning back around, surprised, he asked, "What is it?"
"What you said earlier today," she began, a little bit of hesitancy in her voice as she hoped she wasn't being too forward, "about being a guest in my home. Well, you're not. At least not anymore. You- you're family."
To say he was shocked would have been an understatement. He was never expecting such an admittance from her now or ever, let alone this soon. But something about her words made the fiery feeling in his stomach that had been appearing and disappearing throughout day come back as he wondered what prompted her to have said this. "Grey, you don't have to say that," he said shyly.
"No, I think I do," she said firmly as she gathered every ounce of courage to say something she'd been wanting to tell him all day. It was moments like these that she felt afraid around him, not in a negative way, but in a way that she couldn't believe how vulnerable and sensitive she let herself be around him. She acknowledged to herself that there were very few people in her life that she was able to do be that way around, and the knowledge she had that it was only Derek in the past that she ever had the courage to admit any ounce of feelings for terrified her even more. "I misjudged you when you first came to Seattle and you were going through something that first day and honestly, so was I. I was missing Alex and it was my first day back and I was having issues with Andrew and it was just a lot. The point is that nothing's the same anymore. Everyone is leaving and everyone is dying," she said with a heavy sigh, knowing that she's said those words before and years later they were still proving to be true. "But you're not. You're here. And you were there for me that first day I passed out, you were there for my family while I was unconscious, and you were there for me the whole time telling me to fight and you're here again now. So, no, you're not just a guest. You're my family now. And I know how lonely it can still get for you and your sister and your kids because there are still days when Amelia and the kids and I just sit around grieving like it just happened yesterday. But none of you have to be alone anymore. This whole damn village, Hayes, it's yours now too. So welcome home."
Upon hearing her words, a whole wave of emotion flooded through him now; a mix of relief and happiness all at once. He had known for a long time now of certain feelings he had for Meredith Grey, but always struggled in accepting them for what they were. Now, however, with her claim of seeing him as family, had he never have felt those feelings for her consume him until that very moment. Her new perception of him meant everything and more, not just for him, but for his family as he knew that with her and everyone else at Grey-Sloan, they had found a new home.
"I guess I'll be bringing a housewarming present the next time I come around," he teased lightly in response. He had never been good at responding to emotionally charged declarations, and he didn't trust himself now to say anything else in fear that he would say something about his feelings for her that he would later regret.
"Shouldn't I be the one buying you a present?" Meredith joked in reply.
They stood in silence for a while, contemplating the moment in between them. For most people, the silence would have been tensed and uncomfortable. But there was a way that the silence between them always felt natural and sometimes revealed more than their words could ever say. Finally, he spoke up and said, "Good night, Grey."
"Good night, Hayes."
She watched him as he got into his car and stayed out until he backed out of her driveway and finally drove away. Sighing to herself, she made her way back inside her house with the nagging thought in her mind that there was no turning back now when it came to whatever relationship it was she was building with Cormac Hayes.
Now that's up to you. But if it were me, you should hear him out.
It's harder watching you be lonely.
Promise to torture yourself less.
As Derek's words rang in her ears, she knew now that perhaps being given another shot at surviving and living again meant accepting all the things that were coming her way and no longer trying to deny them.
Including the gift that turned into family.