Well, it has been quite some time since I last uploaded. This chapter is a little longer than the rest, if that's any consolation.

At the end of the chapter, I'll answer all the reviews. For now, enjoy ~

Disclaimer: BBC's Merlin is not mine

Merlin was leaning against the entrance of the Crystal Cave, watching sightlessly to the trees and thinking. After he had calmed down, Taliesin and him had walked for a time to make sure he wouldn't collapse again and then Taliesin had transported them here in a whirlwind. It had reminded Merlin of Mary Collins, the witch he encountered his first day on Camelot. She had disappeared by summoning a small tornado that was more dirt than wind; in contrast, Taliesin's spell had been cleaner and gentler. It was just in the last couple of years thatMerlin had developed the ability to sense other people's magic so he couldn't really compare, but inside Taliesin's spell he had felt a similarity with the Triple Goddess' magic, the magic of the land. Merlin didn't know if that was because that's how the spell felt, or for some other reason. If he had to guess, he would say Taliesin was somehow connected with the magic of the land. Kind of like him, now that he thought about it. He should ask Taliesin when he returned from wherever he had gone.

Not long after they had arrived at the caves, Taliesin had left him to do "guardianny stuff". Merlin was still reeling at the venerable man using such mundane lenguaje. He was the Guardian of the Crystal Cave, and although Merlin had no idea what that meant, he was sure it was important. Important people spoke slowly, weighted by their knowledge and wisdom, they didn't speak like your everyday villager. Merlin was also surprised that Taliesin could leave the cave's surroundings. He had assumed the man (if he really was a man, for Merlin doubted he was human) was bound to them. Apparently not, as Taliesin seemed to be free to come and go as he pleased. 'Not a ghost, then', Merlin thought. Granted, he didn't know much about ghosts, but he was sure they were cursed to stay between the boundaries of the location that granted them the power to remain on the Land of the Living instead of passing to the Otherworld . Taliesin had found him way too far from the Crystal Cave for it to still be part of his territory. 'A fae, then?'. It could be. When they wish to, they could look like your average human, and he knew a punishment for misbehaving Sidhe was to get stripped from their immortality. A place with such a high magic density as the Crystal Cave could slow down the aging process but not stop it completely. It would explain Taliesin's apparent age and his reason for living here. Fae magic also resembled that of the magic of the land, just like Taliesin's. And his own. He didn't quite like the implication of that. Now, what type of fae was the question.

Merlin knew what he was doing. By concentrating on what Taliesin could be, he was ignoring the rampaging hippogriff in the room. He had left Arthur. He had abandoned his destiny, if that had been his destiny to begin with. He was left adrift without a sense of purpose. He was lost and confused, alone and scared out of his mind. What was he supposed to do now? He was Emrys, he was (almost) sure of that, and that meant he was supposed to bring magic back to the land. But how could he do that when he could not be trusted to be able to discern between friend and traitor? He had believed in Arthur ('You made yourself believe in him' the Dark Day said 'deluded yourself into believing he was someone he could never be'), trusted him with his life ('But not with the truth'), and in return he had been betrayed. If he couldn't do such a simple task, how could he bring magic back? He would fail and every magical person would suffer for it. Such might and he knew nothing of how to use it; a well of power rendered useless because of him. Gaius had said to him once that he must have been chosen by the Triple Goddess to be her champion. 'She chose wrong'.

"Wallowing in self-doubt and recrimination does you no good, Merlin" The sudden voice startled him out of his reverie.

"You can read minds?" Merlin asked, unnerved. That was some serious breach of privacy, and if it was a common enough skill he should practice to counteract it. Imagine what Morgana could do with his knowledge.

"Not quite. I can feel people's emotions; the stronger the emotion, the easier I can feel it. It also helps that you are you", Taliesn said and sat beside him with a smile, knowing full well that his response raised more questions than it answered.

"What does me being me have to do with anything? It's because of my magic?"

"Yes, but not in the way you might think it does. Or better said, it is as you think yet it isn't" At that, Taliesin's smile grew even as Merlin narrowed his eyes.

"You just like to be as cryptic as Kilgharrah, don't you?"

"I believe that is the name of the Great Dragon, yes?" At Merlin's nod, Taliesin continued "I haven't spoken to him personally so I don't know his crypticness, but I would bet good money that I can out-cryptic him if I really tried. After all, being mysterious and appearing wise is my job and it is much more easier when the other person is confused at what you said". Taliesin's grin grew and took a mischievous glint that made it look like it belonged to a youngster instead of a wise elder. Merlin was rapidly questioning the "venerability" of the old man.

"Could you speak plainly?"

"I could," Taliesin said, the mischievous gleam now on his blue eyes as well, "but what would be the fun in that?"

Merlin gave a defeated sigh. The serious attitude he had associated with the elder when he first met him was now clearly just an illusion. If he didn't know better, he would assume that he was dealing with someone around his age. Except that he didn't know better. Perhaps the other man was someone like him. But if that was the case, why the decepcion? Taliesin knew who he was and that he wouldn't betray him, why keep with the glamour or aging spell? But Taliesin's magic didn't feel like a twenty-something human magic. It felt more fae than human, although neither quite fit him. Maybe he was a young fae? The magic of a mortal fae of eighty years old would feel young compared to the centuries old's magic of an immortal one. Eighty years of age was practically infantile for the Sidhe. That could explain the playfulness.

"How old are you?" Taliesin stared at him for a time, his blue eyes suddenly full of wisdom.

"Older than you, Merlin. Way older"

Right. That was helpful. Not.

"You are never going to give me a simple answer, will you?"

"Simple? No. Useful? Yes." A pause. "Maybe"

Knowing he wouldn't get anything better, Merlin let the matter drop. They stood in silent company, Taliesin waiting patiently while Merlin tried to empty his mind. He didn't want to think of Arthur and his failed destiny, on his mistakes and regrets and by the Goddess he truly was an useless person, wasn't he? He needed a distraction. Now.

"How did you find me?" Merlin asked. Even if the response was evasive, it would be better than to go through the rabbit hole that was his mind.

"I told you I could feel emotions, and I'm particularly attuned to yours. When I sensed you were distressed I went out to look for you. I did the same when we first met"

Merlin hummed, then stayed silent. Why Taliesin would be more attuned to him, Merlin didn't know. Maybe it was because he was Emrys, or perhaps it was the similarity between their magics. The end result was the same, and Merlin was thankful that the elder man (young fae?) cared enough to help him. Which begged the question of why he cared so much as to help a virtual stranger. 'He could be lonely'. He was well acquainted with the sentiment. He didn't begrudge Talisein for seeking someone similar to him, someone who could understand the emptiness of being too different to his own kind.

"Thank you"

"You are most welcome, Merlin. Now, as noon is nearing, would you be interested in lunch? I believed I heard your stomach rumbling at least three times "

Merlin blushed, but stood to follow Taliesin, until he realised that the elder was going inside the Crystal Cave. There was no way that he was going to enter the cave and face the crystals again. Last time the crystals had gripped his magic, holding it so tight that it hurt, and they had manipulated it to gorge themselves at the same time that they assaulted his mind with image after image of the soon to be future. It had been terrifying, sensing his magic being used by another and incapable of resisting their command. It wasn't until the crystals deemed they were pleasantly full, that he was able to take back control of his magic. He was not making himself vulnerable again.

"I won't go in there", he said. He was sufficiently anxious that Merlin didn't mind that his voice cracked in the middle of the sentence. Taliesin paused, and then came back to Merlin's side. His eyes lacked any judgment and possessed a knowing gleam, as if he knew exactly what Merlin was feeling. Probably he did.

"I will bring the food here, then. I know the crystals can be… temperamental", Taliesin grimaced. As the Guardian of the Crystal Cave he above everyone else was in more contact with the crystals and their effects. "There is no shame in being afraid of them. The Goddess knows that the first months of my guardianship I slept in the woods, terrified of all the images they showed me. But do not worry. In time, you'll be able to control them"

"Why would I ever want to control them?"Merlin asked, terrified. To control them meant to go near them, and if he saw another crystal in his lifetime it would be too soon.

"Because they are part of your inheritance, although not as predominantly as in my own. But above that, the crystals have their usefulness" Seeing Merlin's puzzlement, Taliesin smiled again, playfully. "I will explain over lunch and I will even try to be clear". Merlin narrowed his eyes.

"No, you won't. You enjoy my confusion". Taliesin laughed and went inside the caves without responding.

Lunch turned out to be a feast. Taliesin had somehow procured four fishes that were promptly seasoned and smoked, accompanied by sweetened onions, carrots and apple's slices, and the best beer Merlin had ever tasted. Fresh cheese or an oatcake with nuts were the options for dessert. Merlin was astounded. He had lived for six years in a castle as a high ranking member of the household and he could count with his hands the times he had eaten so lavishly. He wasn't sure if Taliesin was trying to impress him or if he normally ate like this, but either way Merlin was not a person to say no to food. As delicately as a starving person could muster, he ate the fish. It was magnificent.

"I see you like it", Taliesin said and Merlin nodded as he shoveled the onions and carrots into his mouth. "It's a family recipe. My cousin learned it in her travels and taught us how to do it, although she always overcooked the fish. She can be a little impatient with fire. I like to think I learned from her mistakes"

Merlin agreed wholeheartedly. But more important than the fish's perfection was the mention of a cousin. Would a fae bothered to learn human cousine? Could it be that Taliesin was part fae and part human? Was that even possible?

"You seem fond of her, your cousin" Merlin said, prodding.

"We don't see each other much, not since…" Taliesin paused. There was pain in his eyes, a great grief that had not healed, and Merlin knew someone dear to him had died.

"I'm sorry". Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to ask after his family. If they had received the same punishment as Taliesin, it stood to reason that they had already departed to Tír na nÓg.

"Thank you. Although it has been many years, it is still new to us." They lapsed into silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, but Merlin felt bad all the same. "Don't need to worry, Merlin. You couldn't know, and I was the one who brought up my family".

"I'm still sorry for causing you pain".

"I appreciate the sentiment, but it is not necessary. Even with Rhiannon gone, I still have plenty of cousins" Taliesin smiled, fondly " and a younger brother. We are still getting to know each other, as our ages are vastly different, but I hope we will become good friends".

"I'm sure you will. You're a good person, even if you are exasperatedly cryptic" Taliesin laughed and Merlin joined him. There was a surprising camaraderie in the moment they shared, and Merlin felt a little of the cold in his chest dissipate. "Your brother is lucky to have you," Taliesin laughed even more.

"I'll make sure to tell him so. Now that we're talking about family, do you know who my mother is?" Merlin shaked his head no, "Huh. I thought the story was commonly known. I suppose it had been a while since I traveled as a bard."

"You sang about your own life?"

"Of course! I may or may not have embellished some details, but the core of it is still the same. Additionally, it's a very entertaining story, although at the moment I didn't think so. Are you sure you never heard a story of a great white sorceress and her cauldron?"

"If the story is about magic, everyone who sang it must have been killed during the Purge."

"Ah. That would do it, yes. I often forget how thorough that blasted Purge was" Merlin hummed in agreement. Not only countless lives have been lost to the fires, but ancient, invaluable, knowledge too. Entire cultures burnt down and their traditions scattered and forgotten as the ashes dispersed in the wind. "We have a lot of work to do ahead of us"

"We?"Merlin asked, astounded. Did that meant what he thought it did? Surely not. It was Emrys' task to bring magic back to Albion. Yet a flickering hope started to burn in his chest. There was nothing saying he couldn't have help.

"You are not alone, Merlin," Taliesin said softly, kindly. There was a promise of help and companionship; of, dare he hope?, a true friend.

"Anyhow" the elder continued, " my mother's name is Cerridwen..."

"Like the Goddess of magic and prophecy?"

Taliesin looked into his eyes and smiled sharply. "Exactly like the Goddess", he said, and Merlin reeled at the implication. Here, in front of him, was the son of a Goddess.

"You..? What..? How?!" Merlin didn't know what to ask first. He couldn't think. The Goddess had a son, who calmly sat in front of him after seeing him having an emotional breakdown. Taliesin had made him lunch, for the Goddess sake! Which was Taliesin's mother! And he was laughing. "Are you a God?"

"Depends on your definition of God. Cerridwen, a Goddess, is my mother, but my father was a mortal man. I was born in Albion and spend the majority of my life here, although I can travel to the Otherworld, where the Gods reside. I consider myself more of a demigod than a God. On the other hand, my magical power is superior to practically every sorcerer, so I could be considered a god among men"

A god among men. Merlin could scarcely believe it. The mere idea that a God would want to mingle with humanity, that he chose to remain in this plain of existence instead of going with his peers where he would no doubt be welcomed… That this God would choose to help him, of all people. It was humbling. "Why are you here? Why would you help me?"

"In part because it is my duty to see Albion succeed. Emrys' safety and wellbeing are paramount to the safety and wellbeing of Albion. But most importantly, I care for you and I want to help you out of my own volition"

"Why?" Merlin could barely make the word pass through the knot in his throat. 'This must be a lie'. He had spent years with Arthur, Gwen and the knights, laughing and bleeding together, joking, talking, crying and almost dying way too often. And after all that no bond had formed between them. Not a real one anyway. And yet here was Taliesin, a god among men, someone who knew Merlin by his druidic name and not much else, wanting to help him. It made no fuking sense.

"I have my reasons," Taliesin said after a thoughtful pause. "I will tell you about them in due time. Soon, I think. But for the time being you are in no state of mind to know them. Some of them are… very upsetting"

A part of Merlin wanted to demand Taliesin's reasons while the other agreed with the demigod. He was balancing on the edge of his sanity. If kind words could make him fall off the edge, he didn't want to know what upsetting news would do to him.

Merlin nodded. "Later, then"

"So...My mother had this cauldron named Awen, right?" Taliesin said, as if his mother being a Goddess wasn't that important. It was so ridiculous it made Merlin laugh. "It can make the effects of any potion or poison as much as nine times stronger, but is better known as being capable of producing an elixir that grants or enhances prophetic abilities

"When I was around your age I was, quite frankly, a mess. Since I was a young boy I have heard these voices speaking inside my head. They initially would come at night, and my father and I would take them for nightmares or sleep-addled prattle. When they began coming in the day, sometimes while I was speaking, my father was sure I was touched in the head and sent me to the druids to be fixed. It turned out that I was incredibly gifted in divination, with prophecies in particular. After they discovered this, I was given to the druids to begin my training as the new Guardian of the Crystal Cave. I had less than eleven winters.

"The druids, of course, were kind to me and they helped me greatly in taming the voices. Although their training was thorough, I never learned how to control them. The voices didn't make my head hurt anymore and I could remember word by word what they said to me, but still they would speak whenever they pleased and no ritual allowed me to silence them. At first I thought that it was the crystals exarceveting the voices. You know how… not-human they are. They do not know mercy and they wouldn't stop sending me vision after vision. I thought that, maybe, if I mastered the crystals the voices would stop…"

"They made the matter worse, didn't they?" Merlin asked. It was just typical. When you thought something would fix the problem, the blasted thing turned on you. It was the story of his life.

"No, they didn't make it worse. They didn't make it better, either. You see, the crystals show visions, mostly of the future but also of the past and present. If you can harness their power and subdue it to your will, the crystals will show you whatever you want. It can show you a place, a person… an object. When I could finally control the crystals, I made them show me a way to control the voices. I think you can guess what they showed me"

"Cerrdiwen's cauldron", Merlin answered, then frowned. Something wasn't addin up. " If Cerridwen is the Goddess of magic and prophecy, why didn't your father suspect you were a prophet? And also, why didn't your mother help you? I don't expect for her to tain you, she is a Goddess and I imagine she must be extremely busy, but I don't think that popping up with the cauldron and saying 'Hey, brew this potion in this thing so you stop hearing voices' would take much time"

"Well, firstly, my father was my adoptive father", Taliesin said after laughing. "He found me floating in a basket in the river and thus neither he nor I knew about my mother. Secondly, Gods and Goddesses are not the best parents. They would see you born but the rest is up to you . Except for the rare visit when they give us a task to accomplish, they don't come into this realm. We must go to them" Talisein shrugged. He seemed resigned to his treatment and although he tried to hide it, Merlin knew he felt hurt, discarded. Merlin knew well the sentiment of trying your best and not being good enough.

"In any case, the crystal showed me what I needed and, after searching what it was, I started a plan of how to steal it"

"Steal it?!" That seemed… well, idiotic, if Merlin was beign honest. Stealing for a Goddess, even if she was your mother, sounded like a good way to end in an early grave.

"I know it wasn't the best of plans. Bear in mind that I was hearing voices almost every hour of the day and I was not the most lucid or coherent of persons. It's not my proudest moment, but all things considered I think I did the best I could.

"To make a long story short, I entered the Otherworld, got terribly lost but still managed to find the cauldron, and I stole it. When I was trying to return to this realm, Cerridwen found me and gave me chase. To this day, I still don't know if she was unaware of who I was or if she didn't care. It was a nice chase, either way. I mean, in that moment I was terrified, but looking backwards it was a great feat of magic. We transformed into so many animals…

"Of course, she being a Goddess meant that I was caught up. She gave me the most terrifying scolding I have ever had, and told me who she was. She was kind enough to teach me how to brew the potion I required and then kick me out of Annwn with stern instruction to never try again to steal from the Gods"

"You didn't get the cauldron?"

"Of course not! Only my mother can brew in it."

"Then what was the point of the crystals showing you the cauldron? You didn't even need it, apparently"

"But trying to steal it led me to my mother, who taught me how to brew what I needed", Taliesin said with a self-satisfied air.

"They could have just showed you Cerridwen and saved you a lot of trouble" contradicted Merlin. He was sure the crystals were evil, and so far nothing seemed to dispute his theory.

"If they had shown her, I would've prayed to her and she probably would've ignored me. Nothing gets the attention of a Goddess as much as stealing from her." Merlin still thought it was a ridiculous idea, but then again, he had had his share of silly plans too. "The point is, the crystals will help you"

Merlin was not convinced, to him they seemed to do more harm than good. He said so.

"To the untrained it may be true and that is why you must learn to control them"

"No. Nope. No way. No", Merlin said. He may be an idiot with a low sense of self preservation, but he still had some of it. Giving up control over his magic, the core aspect of his entire being, to an object incapable of mercy was the very definition of a bad idea.

"I will be there to guide and aid you. Nothing grave will happen to you"

"Yet by your words, you don't expect me to be unharmed" And by the slight flinch, Merlin knew Taliesin was well aware of that detail. " I won't do it."

It took Taliesin three days to finally convince Merlin to try seeing into the crystals. For the following two days, Merlin asked everything he could think of about how those blasted things worked. He wanted to make sure he would be the one in control.

"First, we should try to seing into the present," said Taliesin. They were sitting outside the Cave, eating a light, bittersweet broth with rabbit, turnips, carrots and parsley. On any other day, Merlin would have been relishing in such a meal, for Taliesin had proven himself an excellent cook, but all Merlin could feel was his stomach shrinking and the taste of bile in his mouth. "Is there someplace or someone you strongly want to see?"

"My mother in Ealdor". It wasn't even a question. Maybe it was childish to want his mum to console him, but it has been a long time since he felt like a helpless boy. His mother had been there through all his childhood and adolescence, giving him advice when he was uncertain and afraid. She had wiped away his sadness and tears, endured his anger and fits of explosive magic, lessened his fears and nightmares. If there was any constant in his life, it was his mother's love. Even in the face of his monumental failure, she would support him.

"Remember to concentrate on what you want. Forget everything else. For all intents and purposes, the only thing that exists in this world is your mother in Ealdor."

Merlin laid down his bowl, both reluctant to go and eager to be done with the whole affair. He stood at the entrance of the cave, seeing the far away blue gleaming of the crystals, and with a shaky breath he entered. It was as he remembered: an immense hollow of dark rock with tall blue-white crystals scattered through the floor and roof alike. 'They look like teeth', and he was willingly walking into the mouth of a monster.

He stopped in front of a crystal the size of his forearm. It's end was sharp and a little jagged, and there was a crack like a spider web in one of its facets. The imperfections, according to Taliesin, would make it harder for the crystal to control him for they would dissipate part of its energy. Standing in front of it, Merlin was not so certain. He could feel it thrumming with cold and foreign magic, a power he had rarely seen matched. It didn't matter that the Cave and its crystals were the origin of all the magic of Albion, their magic was inorganic, and thus entirely different from the magic of living organisms. Taliesin had described them as non-humans, and Merlin would be hard pressed to find something more fitting.

"I'll be here to prevent them from taking complete control, Merlin, but if you fail to impose your will or falter midway, there is nothing I can do to help you. Do you understand?"

Merlin just nodded, unsure if he could speak through the knot in his throat. He tried to even his breathing. In, out. In. Out. He concentrated on the image of his mother: blue eyes like him but in different shape and much more forgiving; her curly brown hair carefully covered by her favorite head-scarf, a little garment he had made for her when he was seven years old; and finally her smile, always welcoming. He focused on those details until any other thoughts flew from his mind. There was only his mother.

He approached the crystal.

The pain was immediate. The icy grip of the crystal cruelly pulled his magic to gorge itself. There was darkness...no, shadows, deformed and perverted by an unseen force. Some were shaped like animals, others were formless, and in their midst there was brown hair and eyes. 'Gwaine?' No. These eyes were different. They shone with confidence and fear, wisdom and madness. He was both enthralled and terrified of them, not sure if he wanted those eyes to look at him or pray they didn't notice his presence.

"Merlin! Focus!"

With great effort, Merlin pulled aways from the vision and thought once more of his mother. He could feel the tugging of his magic, still painful, but now he too could pull magic from the crystal. He pulled stronger and harder, using every ounce of power in his being. And then, like a snap, there was no more pull and he could see his mother.

"Mum!" he cried, and his mother jumped at the unexpected sound.

"Merlin, dear?", she whispered. She was in their house, eating alone, but a lifetime of being cautious prevented her from speaking loudly. Best not to draw attention from the neighbors. "Where are you?"

"I'm not there with you, mum. I'm using a crystal to talk to and see you from afar. It's a long story."

"...You sound sad. What happened?"

Merlin gave a humorless laugh. Trust his mother to go directly to the core of the problem.

"I quitted. I'm no longer Arthur Pendragon's manservant. Nor his friend"

"Did he find out?" Her eyes were wide with fear and her voice trembled a little. Both of them knew that being discovered as a sorcerer meant death or, at best, a lifetime on the run, always looking behind the shoulder and mistrusting everyone you met. 'Not that different from the rest of my life'.

"No, he didn't find out, don't worry. We… fought. More than once. Badly. I… I don't know how it got so out of hand, first Gaius died…"

"Gaius 's dead?!" At his mother's shocked grief, Merlin realized he had been an awful son. Gaius had been Hunith's older half-brother. In his misery and grief he had only focused on himself and the loss he had suffered, never once thinking that his mother was Gaius's family too, and that she deserved to know what happened.

"Oh, mum, I'm so, so sorry" As gently as he possibly could, he explained Gaius's death and respectfully averted his gaze when his mother started crying.

"Did he go in peace?"

"He went while sleeping."

"Good. With Uther I always feared the pyre would be his fate. This is far kinder than I ever dared to hope" Merlin could only gape in amazement at her easy acceptance of death. She was grieving, the pain of loss obscuring her eyes and weighing down her shoulders, yet it didn't bring her down. She would mourn later, Merlin knew, but right now she stood strong against the pain. It would not break her. 'If only I could be like this', Merlin thought with a pang of jealousy. "Now, tell me what happened between you and Arthur."

"Are you sure? Don't you want time to… process everything?"

"Merlin, dear, you are talking to me through the wind instead of writing a letter. You sound as sad as the days before you met Will. I loved Gaius, and always will, but there is nothing I can do for him anymore. You need me, and I promised you to be there whenever you needed me. So, please, speak to me."

By the Goddess, he loved his mother.

He wanted to tell her everything. How awful everything had been with his loneliness, his growing distancing with Guenivere and Arthur, the indifference from the knights. The hypocrisy of the Queen and the cruelty of Arthur's words. Unfortunately, he could feel his energy seeping away, consumed avidly by the crystal. He could maintain the connection for a short time before he grew too weak to control the power of the Cave.

"I feel lost, mum", he confessed in a small voice, ashamed of showing such weaknesses not only to his mother, but to the demigod behind him as well. He was Emrys, he was supposed to be strong, a saviour of magic. He was nothing more than a scared little boy. "All I have been working for turned out to be a lie, useless. I worked so hard but I was never enough. I wasted my life in Camelot and the only recompense I got was betrayal."

"Would you say you gained nothing in the six years you lived in Camelot?", his mother asked after a lengthy pause.

"I achieved nothing. Arthur wasn't the king I thought he would be, he won't unite Albion and magic will remain outlawed. The prophecies were a lie."

"I know not a thing about prophecies and I wouldn't presume to know more about magic than you do. What I know is that six years is too little time to change what has been consolidated through more than two decades. Hatred for magic grew in Uther's reign, but it had always existed. He just exploited something that was already there. You can't expect to single-handedly undo such damage."

"The prophecies…"

"Give a time period to achieve it?"

"...No…" Merlin knew his mother made sense. When she puted it like that, it sounded naive to think he had such power. He was magically powerful, to change the hearts and minds of the people a different kind of power was required. It would take a leader, compassionate and opened minded. Someone like how he thought Arthur was.

"Then how do you know that you failed?"

"Because Arthur was meant to be the force of change, but he is just as elitist as his father!", Merlin shouted, exasperated. Hurt.

"Are you sure you are upset because of the prophecy or because you fought with your friend?"

"It's the same thing!" If that wasn't whining, Merlin didn't know what was. Somehow, he not only felt like a child, he ended up acting like one too. "Sorry," he said, sheepelsy. "Arthur was supposed to lift the ban on magic. When we fought he said some things that made me realize he would never treat me like an equal, and I can't change his mind if he sees me only as his manservant."

"You said there is no time limit to fulfill this prophecy. You have grown a lot in these years, Merlin. You are more confident in yourself, more knowledgeable and have gained a control over your magic that you thought impossible as a child. You have achieved something in Camelot, even though it was not what you wanted. Maybe while you two are apart, you both will grow into the men you are supposed to be and when you reunite again, he will see your true value"

"How long, mum? How long do I have to hide and pretend to be less than I am? It isn't fair! I just want to be free!"

"No, it 's not fair. Nobody should live like that, less of all you. The only silver lining is that you are resilient, and through all the sorrows and hardships you had endured, you remained my kind-hearted boy. That takes strength not many people have. I am proud of you."

Once upon a time, Merlin would have felt happy at hearing those words. Now, he only heard the echo of the empty platitude, it's uselessness leaving a sour aftertaste. His mother's pride for him and his supposed kindness didn't resolve a thing. What good could his compassion do, if the King had the heart made of stone? How could his mother pride defend the magic users against a sword?

Time, his mother said, to give himself and Arthur space to grow. Some part of him wanted to give it another try. Six years had done wonders for Athur's pratish attitude. Merlin may hate him now, but he was not so petty as to deny that King Arthur was a much fairer person than Prince Arthur. 'He only changed because you pushed him', the Dark Day said. It was right. Six years had changed Arthur for the better but it was not enough. Merlin didn't want to waste more years on someone who would not listen to him. That road would only lead him to defeat.

No. He would never go back to Arthur.

"Thank you" he said, instead. His mother had tried her best, and had his failure not been so great, it would have worked. "I need to go. I love you."

"Love you, too. Be well, Merlin."

Merlin cut out the connection and promptly fell to his knees. He hadn't noticed how tired he was. Taliesin passed him a water skin.

"It's a brew of my own invention", he explained "Dropping on the ground grows annoying very quickly when you have to use the Cave for years"

Merlin took a sip. The honey was not sufficient to cover up the bitterness, but the surge of energy was more than enough.

"Rest, Merlin. We will try to look for what you need later."

Merlin groaned. He knew this was a bad idea.

"A message came from Riddle", Einin said, always so serious and to the point. For someone who shared her mother with her, Einin lacked their fire.

"You know he doesn't like to be called that"

"Then he should not talk in riddles. It is either Riddle or Obnoxious Old Man, his choice". On second thought, maybe Einin did possess their mother's fire. It was just a controlled flame instead of the chaotic inferno that coursed through her veins. Perhaps it was better this way. "He found him and took him to his place. He's coming here".

"Who? Riddle?"

"No, the other one"

"What's his name?" She knew she should know it. After all, they have known of him for almost six years now. But she hadn't seen him and so she didn't have a face to go with it. She thought it was something related to birds, but that was weird. What kind of name for a human was the name of a bird? Then again, he wasn't human. Not completely.

"Merlin. And Riddle asked us to bring him home. I can't leave, so you would have to make do. Can you manage that?" Ha! It was related to birds. Good for her! She hadn't forgotten all of it! She wondered if this Merlin looked like a hawk. 'That's the only explanation to name your child thus. Or he can transform himself into one.' But that would mean he could turn into animals from birth, since his parents named him so, and that seemed a little promiscuous, even for someone as powerful as Emrys. 'He must have a really big nose.' "Aideen! ¡Pay attention! Can you look for Merlin and guide him here?"

Aideen rolled her eyes. Her sister always treated her like a baby girl, incapable of doing anything unless it was under her strict instruction, even though she was the oldest. She had only burned a village by accident twice, and both of them had been before she turned two hundred years old. She was a responsible adult now.

"Yes, sister dearest, I'll find him and I'll bring him safe and sound and warped in a warm blanket. I won't let him get away, even if he transforms into a hawk. Oh! I'll bring a birdcage. A big one, no need to be rude, you know."

"Goo… What? ¿What are you talking about?"

"Well, I'm assuming he can turn into a merlin, otherwise why call him that? So a birdcage seems like a reasonable means of transportation…"

"Absolutely not! You are not caging anyone. Just bring him here, unbound, and under his own volition"

"Fine. But if he flies away, it will be your fault!" She was taking a birdcage with her, anyway. Maybe Merlin wouldn't turn into a merlin, but she could find a merlin.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Aideen stopped and looked around herself. She believed the conversation was over and was heading to her room to pack for light travel. She had brought nothing with her to the Communication Room, so that couldn't be either. Her sister gave an exasperated sigh. "Do you know what he looks like?"

Oh, that tiny detail. Oops.

"Like a hawk?" Without a word, Einin gave her the Glāddeik Crystal by which they could speak to and see whatever Taliesin sent them. In it, there was an image of a young man with dark hair. He seemed sad but determined, a fire not unlike her own burning in his blue eyes. To Aideen's disappointment, his nose wasn't that big. The mystery of the origin of his name continued.

silenteyes9 and Cool: thank you for your reviews! I'm sorry you had to wait so long for an update. I hope you like this chapter and to see you on the next one

Marrycherrylove: Thank you! I don't have an update schedule because I'm terrible at keeping them. The only thing I can promise is to try to not ghost you all for half a year. Again. Ups.

Lovesickheroreader: The quite ones are the more knowledgeable! For now, Merlin won't be forgiving neither Arthur nor Gwen. They'll have to prove themselves worthy of Merlin's friendship for him to forgive them.

mersan123: No one is blameless here, and that is what I intended. I think it is more tragic, and realistic at the same time, to have friendships falling apart due to lack of communication and bad tempers than to great deeds of betrayals.

Maricate: I will see if I can make a scene with Percival shirtless. For the plot, of course ;) Thank you for pointing out the errors. I use an autocorrect, but even so some errors are bound to happen. I'll work on it.

spinnerofdark: That cliffhanger was a little depressive, wasn't it? Sorry for making you wait so long, and for the continuation not being that much happier either.

MerlynPotter: Here is where Merlin's adventures begin. Some clues are in this chapter as to what will happen. In the next one there will be more ;)

Zz12345: One of the things I want to explore in this fic is to delve deeper into this sentence Merlin said (I don't remember the episode): "It's lonely to be more powerful than any man you know and have to live like a shadow". For me, that speaks of a great loneliness, a sense of not fitting anywhere and despairing you ever will. I think it is a powerful theme as, like you said, many can relate to that.

Thank you all for your reviews! I always appreciate it! I hope to see you all in the next chapter! Stay safe!