Draco walked straight from the Library to the room of requirement, picked up his potions, then walked to the floo room and flooed to his house, sitting down on the sofa, feeling numb.
Nothing mattered anymore. He was going to die, he was going to die like a muggle, with no magical abilities, he had barely spent time in his home, he hadn't got to travel, his mother and father hated him, his relationship and friendship with the Gryffindors was over, and he was going to die a virgin.
Or maybe not, he thought to himself about the last point. It didn't need to be someone in the Wizarding World did it? He was basically a muggle now, why not just embrace it? He might as well cross something off that he hadn't done before. Something that would distract him from the pain he felt after breaking up with Harry.
He spent the day doing nothing, lying on the sofa, unmoving, feeling numb, occasionally coming to and thinking about things he could do in the next three months, none of those thoughts made him any happier. How long would it be before McGonagall had to report him as failing his classes? He would be in Azkaban in no time. He felt cold, and alone. That was his future, his lonely, painful, short future. He was desperate to just get out of his head, for as long as he had left. At 9pm, he got dressed in muggle clothes and he went out into the city.
- 0 -
The first gay bar he entered was quiet, not many people out yet, but he sat at the bar and ordered a drink, looking around at the people there. All these people were like him, and it was strangely comforting to Draco to know there was not one single person in the room judging him.
After an hour or so, and a couple of drinks later, the place got busier, and Draco could see a few men eyeing him up and down. One man approached him, in his 40's Draco guessed, suit, tie, and a smug face, Draco didn't like him, but he might as well get some practice in with someone.
"Hello" the man said "I don't think I've seen you hear before, I'm James"
"No, I'm new to the area" Draco replied "Ryan" he decided on his fake name quickly, spotting it on the bartenders name tag.
"Is that so?" James said, his eyes lighting up a little "well I'd be happy to show you all the fun things to do around here"
Draco looked at him in amused curiosity "I could use a tour guide I guess" he said flirtatiously, leaning a little closer.
The man smiled and Draco could tell he was used to getting his way.
He took Draco's hand and led him to another bar around the corner where music was playing loudly, lights were flashing, and people were dancing.
"This is where you want to go for some fun" he grinned wolfishly, and put a hand on Draco's back to guide him in, before leading him to the dance floor. He looked around, noticing men dancing with men, and women dancing with women, so this was another gay bar, Draco realised. He bought Draco another drink and as Draco got drunker, they started to dance, Draco letting himself be led by this stranger. He stood behind Draco, his hands on his waist, moving him to the beat of the music, pressing his body flush against Draco's back. After a little while Draco felt James' lips graze his neck, and Draco tilted his head to allow him better access. James pressed his lips down harder, before lifting his lips to Draco's ear.
"Do you want to party a little harder Ryan?" he whispered.
Draco didn't know what he meant but let James lead him to the bathroom, he pulled Draco into a cubicle, and pulled a handheld mirror out from his pocket along with his wallet and a bag of white powder.
He put the mirror on the toilet seat, pouring out some powder and taking his credit card and a bank note out of his wallet. He chopped the powder into two white lines then rolled the note up, pinching his left nostril, putting the note to the right, and snorting the powder up his nose, tilting his head back and breathing deeply.
"Oh fuck that's good, you want some?"
"What is it?" Draco asked.
"You've never seen cocaine before?" James asked shocked.
Draco just shrugged, he had heard of cocaine before, a muggle drug, but had never actually seen any. James laughed "You really are new around here"
He held up the mirror with the white powder and handed Draco the rolled up note "Try it" he said.
Fuck it, Draco thought, I'm dying anyway.
He took the note and copied James, blocking his other nostril and snorting the line up cleanly. He stepped back immediately, shocked at the slight burn and bitter taste. Almost immediately he felt a difference, he felt energised, more confident and alert than he'd ever been in his life.
He looked at James, who was looking energised as well, and launched himself at him, pressing their mouths together in a fiery kiss.
James responded just as enthusiastically, slipping the drugs back in his pocket and shoving Draco back against the cubicle wall, earning a shout from whoever was in the next cubicle. Draco then grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him down on the toilet seat, climbing atop him and humping into his crotch.
"Fuck yes!" James shouted, and he grabbed Draco's hips, moving him faster and harder.
Draco couldn't help but moan loudly as well, was it the drugs that were doing this? He felt like every touch was electric, his sensations were heightened, the pleasure magnified as they grinded their crotches frantically, he could here people shouting, jeering outside the door, but he didn't care.
His jeans were in the way though, stopping them from getting close enough and he stood up for a second to pull them off before jumping right back on top of James, who had unbuttoned and pushed his own jeans to his ankles.
Draco immediately started grinding again, and holy fuck, the feeling was incredible, he never wanted it to end, electricity shooting through his erect cock as he moaned and shouted and he could tell James was so close, his shouting becoming frantic, his hands grabbing Draco's ass and thrusting it into himself and they both came, rocking against each other as their orgasms tore through them like never before.
After a few seconds of panting, Draco stood up, wiping the cum off with toilet roll before pulling his jeans back up. James was still sprawled on the toilet seat catching his breath, his underwear wet from the cum, trousers still at his ankles.
"Where do I get some of that?" Draco asked breathlessly.
James looked up at him, his pupils dilated, still panting. He laughed loudly and held the bag out to Draco. Draco took it and shoved it in his jeans pocket.
"I'm going to dance" he said, then left the cubicle, a couple of men cheering at him, looking him up and down jealously as he left the bathroom.
He went to the dancefloor and danced for another hour. He didn't think about James again, he just felt the beat and danced with all the energy he had. It had been so long since he had this energy in him.
After who knows how long, Draco looked around, things slowing down around him a little, the drugs must be wearing off a bit. Sweaty people still crowded all around him, dancing, laughing, making out.
He smiled, he was anonymous here, he could do whatever he wanted. Another guy was eyeing him up from the bar, sandy blonde hair and blue eyes, tanned skin, Draco walked up to him and sat down beside him.
"You look like you could use some company" Draco murmured seductively. The guy, probably around twenty, smiled at Draco and bought him a drink. Draco downed it, keeping eye contact with him, then took his hand and led him to the dance floor. They danced together for a little while, then Draco grabbed the front of his shirt, feeling confidence he'd never had, and kissed him soundly on the lips. The boy responded back by slipping his tongue in Draco's mouth and they made out on the dance floor. After a few minutes Draco felt a hand run down his shirt and to his belt and he pulled away from the kiss.
"Next time" he whispered seductively in his ear, then he walked away smirking and left the club, heading home. When he got there, he didn't even bother changing, he just walked to his bed, and flopped down on it, falling asleep immediately.
- 0 -
Draco never turned up to classes on Monday, and the golden trio, Blaise and Pansy all exchanged a look in Defence Against the Dark Arts.
Harry felt his heart drop as Lupin took them in one by one to do the Patronus, why wouldn't he show? Was it because of the attack? Was he just at home, avoiding everyone and feeling low by himself? Harry wasn't convinced by Draco's story of the rogue death eater attacking him but he couldn't prove it was Lucius. But none of that mattered anyway if Draco was going to end up in Azkaban.
Blaise and Pansy were beside the trio and stood whispering together, both looking anxious at Draco's lack of appearance.
Ron and Hermione turned to Harry, the five of them were the only ones left.
"He knows how important this is right?" Ron asked, grimacing. "Like I know after what happened he's probably struggling for happy memories but, surely just ditching class is worse?"
"Maybe Professor McGonagall could speak to Lupin about an extension?" Hermione suggested. "I mean, it's hardly shocking that he wouldn't feel up to this today. Has he spoke to you since the attack Harry?" she asked.
Harry sighed, they might as well know about it, he hadn't told them over the weekend, hoping Draco would turn up and take it all back.
"Not since he ended things with me" Harry mumbled, looking down at the floor.
"He did what?!" The other four chorused. Blaise and Pansy spinning to face him.
"He decided it wasn't worth the risk" Harry said sadly. "Not that I can blame him with the way his father treats him" the anger he felt was coming through in his voice.
Blaise shook his head "He's just panicking Potter, don't take anything personally yet" he said reassuringly.
Pansy nodded. "Blaise is right. He needs some time to relax, get his thoughts straight. It's not unusual for him to lash out at the people closest to him right after seeing his father"
"You think so?" Harry asked, feeling a bit of hope for the first time since he'd last seen Draco. "Maybe I should go talk to him after school"
"No I don't think that's a good idea, it might be too much too soon, and he doesn't know that you know about Lucius. He'll come back to you when he's ready" Blaise replied. "Pansy and I will go see him after class" he continued, looking at Pansy then back to Harry "and we'll let you know how he's doing. I really hope he gets an extension though" he sighed.
At that moment, the previous student exited and Harry got called into the class. Thankfully, even with everything going on he still performed the Patronus perfectly. At the end of the spell, he turned to Lupin.
"Um Professor, do you have a second?"
"Of course Harry" Lupin smiled. "What can I do for you?"
"Well, Malfoy hasn't shown up" Harry started hesitantly "And I don't know if you've spoken to McGonagall, but I just wondered if he could get an extension because there's some circumstances -" Harry continued, unsure of how to put it all.
"Harry" Lupin held up a hand to stop him. "I was made aware of what happened at the end of last week, however a decision has not been made, and I'm afraid I can't discuss it with you" he said sadly. "I will speak to the headmistress later to decide on an outcome. I'm afraid I can't tell you more than that"
Harry nodded sadly and left the room.
- 0 -
The next night for Draco was a lot like the first, he never saw James again, but the bag he gave had enough coke for a few lines, and Draco would start the night by going into a bathroom and doing a line before dancing and finding a willing participant to grind on, tug each other or suck each other off. It was electrifying, how the cocaine made him feel. He had never felt so alive.
But when Monday night came around, he was surprised to wake up to someone shaking his shoulder. He'd spent the entire of last night night partying, finishing off the cocaine, drinking far too much and getting a lot of action, not getting home until it was daylight.
He rubbed his eyes blearily from where he'd fell asleep on his sofa, not even making it to his bed. He looked up at who had woken him and saw Blaise and Pansy staring at him in worry.
"Draco are you okay?" Pansy asked, kneeling down next to him.
Draco nodded and tried to sit up, but the movement made him feel nauseous. He dropped back down again with a moan, his head was pounding.
"What are you two doing here?" He asked, keeping his eyes closed against the lights they had switched on in the living room.
"Are you hungover?" Pansy asked, sniffing him.
"Yes" Draco said, not even bothering to lie.
Draco didn't have to open his eyes to know they were exchanging a look.
"Draco, you missed school today, it was the Patronus deadline" Blaise said worriedly.
"I know" Draco said.
"I mean I'm sure the teachers understand if you need some time off after what you went through" Pansy said softly "But you should tell them instead of running away"
"I'm not running away" Draco mumbled.
"Yes you are Draco" Blaise said firmly "What your dad did was awful, but Pomfrey hasn't told him you were there, Hogwarts is still safe"
"He didn't" Draco whined, his head banging painfully, eyes still squeezed shut.
"Then who did?"
"I don't remember, they wiped, my memory" Draco said, struggling through the words, not remembering his story while he was coming down from two days of alcohol and drugs.
"That's not even the same lie you told Potter, Draco, so try again with the truth this time" Blaise snapped at him.
"I'm not ly-" Draco sat up to glare at Blaise, but vomit suddenly rose to his throat and he shoved Blaise out the way, just in time to throw up where he had just stood.
Pansy gasped, and pulled out her wand, cleaning up the sick and Draco.
"I'm sorry" Draco whimpered, feeling anxiety and sadness take over him, his insides were in pain, feeling like they were twisting themselves into knots.
"I'll get you a glass of water Dray" Pansy said, getting up and walking to the kitchen.
Blaise sighed and took Draco's arm, pulling him up and leading him to the bathroom, rubbing his back as he continued to throw up.
As he sipped his water, the worst of the nausea passed and they went back to the sofa, the pain in his insides still present but a little duller.
"Pansy and I can stay here tonight" Blaise suggested, "we can get you feeling better and back to school tomorrow to work on your options with McGonagall and Lupin"
Draco looked at them both helplessly. He didn't want to think about any of this, he wanted to find more cocaine and more alcohol and keep distracting himself. He wasn't ready for reality yet.
"I can't" he breathed, shutting his eyes and dropping his head in his hands, forcing back tears. The low from coming off the drugs wasn't helping his despair at all.
Blaise and Pansy exchanged a look before Pansy pulled him in for a hug, bringing his head to her shoulder and Blaise moved to the other side of him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"I can't imagine the pain you're going through Dray" Pansy whispered "but we need to think about the long term, about keeping you out of Azkaban." She stroked his hair soothingly. "Let's talk to her now and I'm sure we can buy you some time to rest before coming back to do the assessment"
Draco thought about it. If it even gave him a week, he could find more drugs and drink and do whatever he wanted, escape from it all for a little longer, give himself more time to come to a decision about anything.
He nodded against her and they both held him tighter.
- 0 -
They went that evening and McGonagall had been understanding about it. She had spoken to Lupin and the other Professors and they agreed Draco would take a week off to rest, returning to class the following Monday.
Blaise and Pansy had reluctantly agreed to let him go back to his house alone to sleep and think, though they had insisted that they would be there on Wednesday night to check up on him. Draco had agreed and went back home reassuring them he was going straight to bed, then immediately heading back out into the city. Surprisingly to him, it didn't take long to find more drugs from more men, and he ended up having plenty for the whole week.
He continued Monday and Tuesday night in the same fashion, drinking and snorting cocaine, desperate for that electric feeling as he made out with guys, people his own age and older men in their thirties and forties, grinding against them in bathrooms and in their cars, and one time just against the wall of the club.
They hadn't made it to the man's car. The man, who knows what his name was, pinning Draco against the stone wall at the back of the club, grinding together for a while before taking each other's penis in hand and stroking quickly, both moaning loudly into the night air.
On Tuesday night, Draco had ended up in a different club and did cocaine with the manager and his wife, both in their late thirties. After a couple of lines and shots each, the manager had kissed him, in front of his wife. The wife then taking her husbands penis and stroking it. Draco didn't even remember it escalating, until a bartender had walked in, getting a full view of the manager fucking his wife from behind, while snogging Draco over her, who had his legs spread on the managers desk and his cock in the wife's mouth.
- 0 -
On Wednesday night, Draco went back out, forgetting all about Pansy and Blaise coming. The bartender had called Draco a taxi fairly early on as he was far too high to get home on his own. The taxi driver had been a guy in his twenties and had eyed Draco up and down as he got in, talking on the way back that it was his favourite club, very brazenly flirting the whole way back. When they got back to Draco's house, the driver opened the door for Draco, and Draco stood, swaying a little, the driver put his hands on Draco's waist to steady him, then leaned forward and kissed him. It heated up quickly and before Draco knew it, he had pulled the driver into the back seat with him. Draco pulling down the drivers trousers and taking his penis in his mouth. It didn't take long before he came, then spun Draco over so he was lying on his back across the back seats and he was in between his legs, taking Draco's penis in his mouth. He pushed his fingers into the man's hair as his head bobbed up and down and Draco squeezed his eyes shut, moaning at the incredible sensation, ejaculating a few minutes later.
He managed to stagger into his house afterwards and jumped in shock at seeing Blaise and Pansy in his living room.
"Holy fuck!" he gasped.
"We could say the same thing!" Pansy exclaimed. "Who the hell was that guy?"
"The driver?" Draco supplied, slurring a little.
"You promised you would look after yourself" Blaise said angrily.
"I am"
"Drinking too much and shagging around isn't self-care"
"It's definitely making me feel better"
"Fucking hell Dray!" Pansy exclaimed. "I think we need to stay here at night's from now on"
"I'm fine!" Draco insisted, still swaying a little on the spot.
"You're spiralling" Blaise said firmly.
"And what about Potter, Draco?" Pansy asked. "I thought you really liked each other?"
Draco looked down sadly. He had been doing everything he could to forget the green-eyed boy.
"It won't work" he mumbled.
"We can do something about Lucius, Draco" Blaise said.
"And then you and Potter can be together" Pansy continued.
"And you can live where you want"
"And you'll have your whole future to do anything you like"
"STOP IT" Draco shouted, taking them both by surprise. He didn't want to think about reality, he didn't want to hear these suggestions that would do nothing to help him. He wanted to forget it all.
"Get out" Draco said. "Get out of my home"
Pansy and Blaise looked at him in utter shock.
"Draco" Blaise started but Draco shook his head.
"I don't want either of you here, leave me alone"
"We just want to help -" Pansy began.
"Well you're not!" Draco shouted. "You're both making it a million times worse, just get out!"
Pansy and Blaise looked at each other helplessly, before turning and flooing away back to Hogwarts, leaving Draco to feel cold and alone in his empty house, hugging himself tightly as he threw up continuously in the bathroom, the pain in his abdomen twisting it's fiery hand around his stomach.
- 0 -
After school on Thursday, Blaise walked up to Harry, pulling him into an empty classroom.
"What's up?" Harry asked in confusion.
"I'm going to be blunt here Potter" Blaise said, and Harry could hear the strain in his voice. "Draco's not okay, he's spiralling and I think he needs you. He won't listen to me or Pansy"
"What do you mean?" Harry asked, feeling worry flood him.
"He's -" Blaise ran a hand through his hair. "This might be uncomfortable to hear..."
"Just say it" Harry said, already somewhat guessing what was coming.
"He's drinking every night, going out, sleeping around..." Blaise glanced up at him quickly "He's just a mess, I think he's panicking and trying to feel some sort of sense of control but I'm worried he's doing more damage to himself. He's definitely not resting"
Harry felt a stab of pain at the idea of Draco sleeping around with other men, but pushed it aside. Keeping Draco well and safe and out of Azkaban was the priority.
"If you're okay with it, it might be good for Draco to see you" Blaise suggested hesitantly. "Otherwise I think Pansy and I are going to have to force him into hospital"
"We'll hold off on that for now, I want to see him" Harry said with determination.
- 0 -
Blaise gave Harry the address and he flooed over that evening. As Blaise had guessed, Draco was out, and Harry took the time to walk around the house. There was barely any food but a lot of alcohol and a white powder on his coffee table that Harry had a dreadful feeling was cocaine. How had this happened? Draco was supposed to be getting better. He walked into the kitchen that adjoined the living room and spotted a box on the counter. Feeling nosy and telling himself he was just trying to help, he opened the box. Inside were a selection of potions and a piece of parchment with instructions. Harry looked at the instructions to see if they said what it was for, annoyingly it didn't but it said some of these potions were to be taken daily. Harry frowned at that, the box was full, it didn't look like Draco was taking them at all. Just then he heard a noise outside, coming closer to the door. With a swish of his wand he switched all the lights off and closed the kitchen door over a little, peaking out so he could see the majority of the living room.
Harry heard a clatter of keys and the door opened, two boys stumbling in, attached at the mouth. Harry watched from the crack in the door as Draco reached behind him for the dimmer switch, turning the lights on low, not once breaking away from the other boy's mouth. They moved further into the room, closer to where Harry stood and he watched them as the other boy backed Draco onto the sofa that faced Harry's doorway, landing on top of him and settling between his legs, both moaning as they pushed together a little.
Harry's eyes widened in shock as he looked at the boy on top of Draco, he looked like Harry, dark messy hair, glasses, lightly tanned skin. Harry felt his eyebrows raise in interest. Surely Draco had seen the resemblance?
They continued to kiss passionately and grind into each other, the guy on top reaching his hand down, unbuttoning Draco's jeans and slipping his hand in. Draco tilted his head back and moaned.
Harry knew he should leave but he was rooted to the spot by the sight in front of him, feeling a range of emotions towards Draco. Anger, betrayal, confusion, sadness, concern. Just then the dark-haired boy reached back and pulled a condom out of his pocket, pulling back a little.
A muggle then, Harry thought, glad he hadn't chose this moment to come in through the fireplace.
"I'm going to blow your mind" the muggle boy said seductively, starting to unbutton his own jeans.
Draco opened his eyes and hesitated, looking at the muggle and the condom.
You can do this, he told himself.
But it's not who you really want, another part of him argued.
He swallowed hard."Wait" he said, grabbing the muggle boy's wrist to stop him from pulling down his boxers.
"What?" he asked confused, and a little annoyed. "This is what you wanted right?"
Draco's breathing had increased a little, and Harry could see the conflict in his face.
"It is - well... it was" Draco said, looking nervous.
The muggle rolled his eyes and leaned down, kissing Draco's neck, and Draco squeezed his eyes closed.
"You'll love it, come on" he said.
"I think I've changed my mind" Draco whispered, eyes still squeezed shut.
The muggle put both hands on either side of Draco's head, lifting himself up a little and sighing frustratedly.
"Are you fucking serious? Don't pussy out now, I've come all the way here" and he reached one hand back, pulling his boxers down again.
Draco's eyes opened and he looked up at the ceiling, looking panicked and ashamed.
Harry decided enough was enough and strode into the room.
"He said no" Harry said coldly, as he sat himself down on one of the armchairs facing the sofa.
Both boys jumped in shock and sat up, whirling to the side to face Harry.
The muggle pulled his boxers up swiftly, looking at Harry in shock, and then confusion as he gave him a once-over, noticing their similarities.
Draco had sat up sharply, then sat back on his elbows when he saw Harry, a wild range of emotions running through his eyes, finally just staring intensely at Harry, his gaze never leaving Harry once, even as the muggle stayed straddling on top of him.
"Who the fuck are you?" the muggle boy demanded.
"That's not important" Harry said coldly, "I think it's time for you to leave"
The muggle looked at Draco. "Is he serious?" he asked angrily.
Draco still never took his eyes off Harry and suddenly Harry was unsure about getting involved, until Draco responded.
"Yes" was all he replied quietly.
Harry locked eyes with Draco and nodded, standing up and taking a step closer to the muggle.
"Get out" he said icily.
The muggle scrambled up, pulling his clothes on frantically and ran out the door. Harry walked over and locked the door, adding some extra security spells and turning the lights on a little higher.
When he turned around, Draco hadn't moved, just continued to stare at Harry as if he would disappear if he tore his eyes away for even a second.
Harry suddenly felt awkward. "Are you okay?" he asked Draco.
Draco just blinked and nodded, not shifting his gaze, and not sorting out his undone jeans either.
"Um" Harry blushed. "Do you want to do your jeans back up?"
Draco stared at him for a second before blinking and looking down at himself. He didn't seem bothered at all about being caught in the middle of things again, instead he just sat up properly, doing his jeans back up and walking slowly up to Harry with some wariness as if approaching a Hippogriff.
As he got closer, Harry noticed his pupils had increased in size, so he had taken drugs then, Harry thought in disappointment and concern.
"Draco -" Harry began but was cut off as Draco lifted his hand and touched it to Harry's face. His brows furrowing and pain crossing his eyes as his hand lay there, as if he hadn't been certain he was real.
"It is you" Draco breathed. "You saved me again"
Harry brought his own hand up to Draco's hand that was on his cheek and held it in his own, he felt his heart ache, he had missed Draco so much, it hurt to see him with someone else.
"I'm here" Harry replied quietly. "Draco, please talk to me, tell me how you're feeling, what's happening in here?" he stroked Draco's platinum locks with his free hand.
Draco looked at him with such pain and sadness, it broke Harry's heart.
"I can't tell you" Draco whimpered.
"Why?" Harry asked desperately.
"Because I don't want you to pity me" Draco looked down.
"I won't Draco" Harry told him firmly, was he going to tell him about Lucius? "Talk to me, I'll listen, and not judge, and I'll support you, any way I can"
Draco brought up his hands to touch Harry's face again.
"Let's not talk Harry" he whispered, leaning in to capture Harry' lips.
They kissed gently at first, then Draco pushed closer, deepening the kiss, pulling Harry towards him, walking backwards with him.
Harry knew he should break away, but he had missed this so much. The feeling of Draco's lips against him felt so right.
Before Harry knew it, Draco had backed himself up onto the sofa and pulled Harry down on top of him, wrapping his arms around him, pushing a hand into his hair, spreading his legs to either side of Harry's, pushing up into him.
Draco couldn't stop touching him, Harry was here, he was really here. He had come home with fake Harry and somehow the real one was here, it felt right, it felt better than right, and Draco couldn't let go, for fear that the second he did, Harry would disappear. He didn't want anyone else.
Harry moaned at the sensations, he had never done this before, he had never made out with anyone like this let alone a boy, and the way Draco held him tightly and pulled him close, the way they rubbed together, like he had just seen Draco doing with the muggle...
Harry shot backwards. He couldn't believe he had just let Draco pull him in like this. Draco was upset, scared, just trying to distract himself using anyone he could.
Harry sat back on the sofa and shook his head vigorously.
"We can't do this" he said breathlessly from the kissing.
Draco sat up too and grabbed Harry's hand, as if he needed to be holding part of him so he wouldn't disappear.
"Why not?" he asked quietly.
"Because you're not okay" Harry replied sadly "and it would be taking advantage of you"
Draco leaned in and kissed him again. "Take advantage of me then, I want you to" he breathed.
Harry felt his heart constrict painfully at Draco's words, he was spiralling, Blaise had said, and how right he was.
"Draco no, we can't do this" Harry told him gently.
Draco pulled back, panic running through him. He needed Harry, he couldn't leave.
Right then, the familiar pain in his abdomen came back, it felt like his internal organs were on fire. He rushed to the bathroom and threw up down the toilet. His hands gripping the sides. Tears slid down his cheeks. He was coming down from the drugs, he felt drained, exhausted, in pain, humiliated.
Harry was behind him, cleaning the sick away, dropping to the floor beside Draco and rubbing his back, stroking back his hair from his damp, cold forehead as Draco continued to be sick, his body in pain.
"Can I get you one of your potions?" Harry asked Draco gently.
"I don't have any" Draco rasped, leaning his forehead against the toilet seat and trying to fight back the nausea.
"There's a whole box of them in your kitchen" Harry told him, feeling curious that Draco didn't know that, or had forgotten.
Draco paused for a second before the memory hit him of getting potions from the Healers. Shit. He hadn't taken any. He had been partying non-stop since that day.
Draco swore quietly "I forgot about them" he moaned in pain. No wonder his insides were hurting this much, and the alcohol and drugs definitely wouldn't have helped.
Harry went and got the box, opening the instructions again and reading them, sorting out the different potions.
He read through and instructed Draco on which one to take first that would help the pain. Draco downed it and immediately felt the worst of the pain subside. Harry then handed him another one that gave him vitamins he would need to replenish him. There was a couple more, and Harry continued to rub Draco's back soothingly as he passed them over and Draco drank them. The last one was for the morning, so Harry put the potions back inside the box leaving that one out and putting it on Draco's bedside table. He went back to the bathroom and helped Draco up, taking him to his bed.
He couldn't help the curiosity he felt. "Draco, what are those potions for?" Harry asked him softly.
Draco was pulling off his shoes, and stopped halfway, looking up at Harry. Part of him was desperate to tell him, to get the weight of the secret off his shoulders, but then Harry would pity him and would feel obligated to look after him. He felt tears well up in his eyes, what did it matter anymore though? It was only a few more days until Draco failed the assessment and went to Azkaban, was it the worst thing in the world to have Harry here, if even just for a few days?
He didn't realise the tears had fallen until Harry was suddenly in front of him, wiping them away, worry etched on his face.
"Draco?"
"I can't" Draco choked out, his voice breaking.
Harry's heart broke, watching him in so much pain. He sat beside Draco and pulled him in, holding him tightly and pressing his lips into Draco's head as the tears began to fall and Draco's shoulders began to shake as he sobbed into Harry's shoulder.
"We can fix whatever it is, you just have to tell me" Harry whispered "I'm here for you Draco, today, tomorrow, all year, and for however long you want me after that"
"There isn't an 'all year' for me" Draco sobbed.
"No Draco, don't talk like that, we'll sort this Patronus business out, I promise you" Harry said with determination.
Draco shook his head against Harry's neck.
"That doesn't matter anymore" he cried and Harry pulled them apart so he could look into Draco's eyes and talk to him firmly. But Draco continued through his sobs, his face full of anguish, his eyes squeezed closed.
"I can't do magic, I'm a squib now, in a few days I'll be in Azkaban and in three months I'll be dead" he gasped and trembled. He had said it, he had actually said the words out loud.
Harry stared at him in shock. Dread was filling him.
"What do you mean?" Harry whispered. "Draco what are you talking about?"
"I'm ill" Draco bit out, still not opening his eyes, he couldn't look at Harry if he wanted to get this out. "My magical core is killing me. I've got less than three months left, and if I want that long, I can't do any magic"
Harry sat in stunned silence. "No" he finally whispered. "No that can't be true"
Draco just sobbed harder, as Harry felt a weight settle inside him, a coldness creep in. Draco was dying? He had three months? How had this happened? No. He wasn't going to let this happen.
"Draco, let me take you to hospital. We can talk to the Healers, we can figure this out" Harry insisted desperately. But Draco was shaking his head, why was he shaking his head?
"I've been, they can't do anything"
Tears dropped from Harry's eyes now and he was crying too, he moved forward, holding onto Draco tightly and they both cried together, gripping onto each other until the tears finally subdued.
"Does anyone else know about this?" Harry asked him softly.
Draco shook his head, still not opening his eyes. Harry put his finger under Draco's chin and lifted his head, like he did the first time they kissed.
"Open your eyes Draco" Harry whispered.
Draco opened them and his silver eyes shone brightly with tears.
"We'll look into all the options okay? We'll get other opinions, we can get Hermione to do research" Harry reassured him and Draco let out a small huff of amusement at that. "But I think you need to tell Blaise and Pansy, they're your best friends"
"I don't know how to" Draco whispered back, his eyes full of anguish. "I don't want them to treat me like glass for my last amount of time here"
"Draco, they need to know" Harry told him gently. "McGonagall does too so we can make sure you don't go to Azkaban"
Draco looked down and another tear fell, but he nodded and Harry let out a breath and squeezed his shoulders.
"I'll send for them" Harry whispered and he cast a Patronus and sent a message to them.
It wasn't long before they arrived, running in from the floo and calling out Draco's name. They both charged into the bedroom and sighed with relief at seeing Draco.
"Merlin Potter, you could have sent a slightly less ominous message than "come to the house, now"" Blaise fumed.
"What's going on?" Pansy asked, watching Draco's defeated form with concern.
Harry turned to Draco "Do you want me to give you some privacy?" he asked softly and Draco nodded gratefully.
Harry gave his shoulder one last squeeze and he left the room, going to the living room and clearing up the mess of alcohol, vanishing the cocaine from the coffee table and straightening the sofa out. He heard crying from the bedroom and bit his lip, sitting down on the sofa and dropping his head in his hands, allowing his tears to flow again.
He couldn't get his head around it. How had Draco been this ill and nobody knew? They had all taken the stress for granted, thinking it was something that would get better. But that can't be true, Hermione had said extreme ongoing trauma caused things like this. Had he been right with his earliest thought, that Lucius had caused this? He would kill him if that were true, Harry thought, his jaw clenching.
After a little while longer Blaise came through, he was still sniffling and his eyes were red, he sat down on the armchair opposite Harry and looked at him with desperate eyes.
"How do we fix this?" he asked Harry tearfully.
Harry just looked back at him helplessly. Pansy came through at that point, also in tears.
"He's asleep" she said quietly, taking the other chair.
"Lucius did this, didn't he? All those years of abuse damaged his magical core" Harry said, his voice full of hate.
Blaise nodded slowly "I think so, I don't think it ever was stress. God, how did I believe that? I'm so stupid, I should have known -" he broke off and dropped his head in his hands.
Pansy choked out a sob and walked over to him, holding him tightly.
Harry shook his head. "You couldn't have known, he was so convincing, all that matters now is that we find a way to fix this"
Making a decision, Harry stood up. He wasn't going to waste another second sitting doing nothing. "I need to talk to Hermione, get her to start researching this" he said with determination. "Then I'm going to talk to McGonagall and make sure he doesn't go to Azkaban, then talk to Lupin and the Healers about a cure" he turned to the Slytherins.
"Stay with him" he said. "I'll be back as soon as I can. He has a potion on his bedside table that he needs to take in the morning"
The Slytherin's just stared at him as he walked to the floo and left.