Surprise!
"Well little man, you ready to see the rest of your family?" His big eyes looked up at me as Logan followed behind, grabbing the diaper bag from the steward. As I turned back to Thomas, I sunk into the feeling of Logan's hand on my back. It took us a couple of days to actually get out here. Logan wanted us to be prepared and pack up as much of the house as we felt we needed to bring over here with the hopes we wouldn't be back to London for a while. I heard a small coo from the carrier and my eyes drifted down towards the boy of the trip. I couldn't help my smile as we waited for the car to pull up, I could see it coming through the gates. As I rested my head on Logan's shoulder I felt him kiss the top of my head.
I wish I could pause this, all of this, the feeling of my son in my arms, the winds ripping across the tarmac, the man who has been there for me for years standing beside me. Everything about it feels calm, a sense of calm that I had never felt before on this side of the Atlantic. It's not that I ever needed to be a mom, it's that I needed to find Thomas' mom.
As the car pulls up to us, Logan grabs my little man to put him in the car seat he had requested and I climb in behind the two of them. "So, who do we go visit first?" He asks as he finishes buckling himself up.
A quick glance at my watch shows it's only 2 in the afternoon, enough time to go back and rest before we spend the evening having dinner with the grandparents, or now, great-grandparents. "Let's head back to the hotel, rest, recoup, let this little man sleep for a while then we can just go over to my grandparent's house."
"Sounds great!" He answered me but his focus was back on Thomas, like it usually was. I couldn't help but smile as he gave our son his finger to hold onto. "He's already jumping ahead of us on the sleep train."
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For all the times we've been back to Hartford, it was easier to just stay in a hotel, not bothering with the upkeep of a second home, but as we turned in the opposite direction of our usual hotel something felt off. It wasn't until I saw Logan smirking at his phone that I knew something was different this time. Sure enough, within 15 minutes of leaving the airport we pulled down a residential street in New Hartford, one look at back at Logan this doesn't look like an accident, he's practically bouncing.
"Logan?"
His smile could light up this whole neighborhood for years, "Yeah Ace?" His knee was bouncing up and down excitedly.
"Where are we at handsome man?" I asked him with the same smile coming to my face involuntarily. He just looks so happy and proud of himself, and as we pull up in front of the perfect forest covered driveway he looks like he'll jump out of the car and run up the driveway just to get there quicker.
"Okay, so I was tired of staying in hotels, and the goal is to move here, correct?" There was no room for me to answer as he continued. "Well, I have a surprise, I found us the perfect house and I had my dad look at it, he mentioned the interior was a little too modern so I figured it was perfect for us, but if you don't like it, I haven't closed on it, obviously but we get to stay here as kind of an air bnb situation." He looked so nervous while he talked about it, and I wanted to focus on what he was saying but I couldn't stop looking around. The driveway feels at least a half a mile long and it's covered on both sides by trees losing their leaves and before I know it we pull up in front of THE house. A 3 story brick home with a double wooden front door. We both grew up in big homes, we grew up surrounded by wealth, we know what extravagant homes look like. But this was old money, and sophisticated.
"Well, Ace, what do you think?" He looked so nervous as we pulled into the circular part of the driveway, and I got out without answering. I can't answer him, my throat won't allow it. I've never been so overwhelmed in my life, because I finally found our home. I turn back to my husband, holding our son, surrounded by the smells of fall and I can feel the dam of tears break.
I can't help but fall to my knees, I can't help but allow this to consume my whole body. Vaguely in the distance I hear Logan set Thomas back in his carrier and come up to me. Sitting on the perfectly paved driveway as I looked up at the house that this man picked for us. This was a life I had never dreamt I could have. One surrounded by a chosen family, one filled with hope and love and life. I've always felt like the outsider, the bastard grandchild, the girl in the guy's friendship, the one who works for her grades, the unloved orphan, but for the first time I'm none of those things. I'm Thomas' mom, I'm Logan's wife, I'm Rory Huntzberger, a celebrated head of a media conglomerate. I'm finally enough.
"I need to know what you're thinking here Ace." As I finally snap out of this enough to focus on the man who has given me more than I could ever imagine. I see the worried creases on his face and I can't help but cup his cheek in my hand and bring him closer.
"It's absolutely perfect." I'll explain the breakdown more later, I'll thank him for everything, but for now… "Let's go inside, make sure it's just as wonderful on the inside.
Turns out I had nothing to worry about, despite a few cosmetic choices I wouldn't make, it had everything I could have imagined, and even better it had 7 bedrooms. "One for us, one for Thomas, five for the others." Logan had smirked through his words, and ended it with a wink that almost killed me. For all the hang ups I had about being a mom for all those years, for all those times I didn't think I could do it, now I was filled with the desire to fill those rooms.
RLRLLRLRLRLL
"So, only your dad knows?" She asked me again and I just squeezed her hand in comfort.
"Only Mitchum knows Ace, I promise."
"How do you think the rest of the grandparents, and great grandparents will take it?" She was chewing her lips in fear, but what could she possibly be scared about?
"Rory, have you seen this little man? And his eyes? Could you look into those eyes and not fall in love?" She checked the rear view mirror and could see his reflection in his mirror, a smile across her face.
"You're right, I'm just nervous." I knew why she was, and even though she had the break through at the house that was now under contract, I knew it was all still raw. If we hadn't already had the plans at the Gilmore house I would have cancelled and let her rest. But the absolute last thing you do in our circles is cancel on Emily Gilmore. Plus, with the way my father had been checking in I'm pretty sure he wasn't about to let us cancel either.
I couldn't help the smile that came across my face. For years a message from my father was telling me I was a disappointment, or it was scolding me, and even when I excelled we only discussed work. Now it felt like every 10 minutes I was getting asked for an update, not about bylines, or budgets, but about my life, about my son's life. I snuck a peek in the rear view as we pulled into the Gilmore's driveway. "Everyone will love him, and everyone will be ecstatic. But remember, we head from here to Colin's house, because if anyone finds out that we told the grandparents first we will be subjected to a lot of upset Finn." She did an over dramatic shudder as I parked the car.
As we walked in I let her walk ahead of me, holding Thomas close to my chest. At only 2 weeks old he was a champ but he was still so little, so vulnerable, and so tuckered out by all the traveling. I heard the greetings from our combined families, just so happy to see Rory, the woman who didn't think she had a family behind her, the cloud of her parent's abandonment cast such a dark shadow that she could never see the place she held in everyone's life.
After a few minutes of letting her say hello, I walked in and was greeted just as warmly until Emily's shriek alerted everyone, and also woke up Thomas. "Hi everyone!" I answered with a smile on my face. "We have someone we'd like to introduce you to!" I caught Rory's tear filled eyes, sitting above the most radiant smile I've ever seen. I couldn't help but wink at her.