He was right, this was the most ludacris idea she'd ever heard. He wanted her to leave with Spike and Faith while he just stayed here to face the throngs of evil, to face death alone. It wasn't happening, pregnant or not, powerless or not she wasn't just going to willingly leave him while taking one of his best fighters with her. He could call Giles, but it didn't matter, it wasn't happening.

"I am not leaving you," she ground out for the third time. They had finally discharged her, sending her on her way with a stack of papers of her various options that were apparently no longer options. It wasn't that she wasn't happy to be carrying Angel's child, she just hadn't exactly had the time to process any of it. She was exhausted, emotionally, mentally, and physically, not to mention she was now absolutely terrified for the first time in her entire life. How was she supposed to do this, how was she supposed to be a mother and the slayer… how was she even expected to make it to that point without him.

"We're safer with you," she argued. Yes, Faith and Spike were strong and could be trusted but it wasn't the same. She was powerless, completely defenseless and the only person she felt remotely safe around, the only person she trusted inexplicably was him. All she would be to anyone else was a burden as far as she was concerned. She knew those who cared about her, her friends, her watcher, none of them would actually look at her in such a light but she couldn't help but feel that's all she was destined to be right now, like this. Not to mention it would only be putting those same people in more danger than ever and there would be nothing she could really do to help them if push came to shove.

Angel rubbed a hand down his handsome, but currently very run down looking face, as he sighed loudly. "Buffy please-"

"No!" she practically shouted, her head shaking, hands wrapping around her midsection.

"Buffy," he tried again, sounding just as exhausted as he looked, "can we just... can we just talk about it more later? Please? Can we just... can we put a pin in this for the moment, for just a little while and deal with it again later? Figure out what in the hell we are supposed to do then?"

OoOoO

The air sat heavier than ever around them the entire way back, Angel knew he needed to get Buffy and this miracle child they had managed to create as far from here as possible but it wasn't as simple as that. Of course it wasn't, it never was. He knew he'd go through hell with having to convince her about this plan of his, or the idea of drugging her and shipping her off had to crossed his mind, but he didn't know how much more he could deal with if he didn't take a moment to breathe. Figuratively, anyhow.

And he knew there was no way he was going to get through to her until she calmed down from the rollercoaster that had been today either. She'd been through the loop and probably didn't even know which way was up at this point, she deserved at least some time to let everything sink in, and he hoped to explain everything to her good ol' watcher and get with him about ideas of what they could do to keep the disabled slayer safe and sound.

One way or another she was going to have to leave his side, and very soon, so there was that part of him that also craved soaking in this last bit of time with her when there was no telling what was going to happen, no telling when the next time he would get a chance to see her, to hold her, to know for a fact she was okay standing right in front of him would be. It was selfish and he knew it, but it was Buffy.

He'd said goodbye to her more times than he had ever planned or hoped to, and it never once got easier, especially not under circumstances such as these where the weight of the world felt like it was crushing down upon them.

OoOoO

Buffy barely even remembered what all Angel had said about sending her away, the hows or whys. She barely remembered the car ride from the hospital, or briefly speaking with Faith and Spike when they'd arrived. Her mind was too foggy, thoughts rushing into one another as they passed through her mind, her stomach too queasy, eyes tired and stinging, heart feeling like someone had just been clutching it with all their might all day.

There was just too much to process. Too many questions and she doubted any answers to them, least none she was privy to in her experience. Too much to worry about... way too much. A baby was the last damn thing she had expected. She'd had Dawn, or memories implanted in her mind about Dawn anyway, but that was lightyears away from actually being a parent, carrying a child, raising one... On top of being a slayer. A slayer in charge of an Army of slayers, a fighter against the evils of the world... a currently useless as shit one at that.

Her mind kept flashing back to that stupid test the council had put her through back when she was still in high school. She had found a way to survive, sure, but she could remember how it had all felt. A lot had changed since then but suddenly being without your powers was still holy terrifying.

It didn't help knowing what she had been fighting up against, having more a glimpse into what Angel was over here dealing with, and basically being told everything on and beyond this world wanted her and this childs' head on a silver platter and there was not much she was currently able to do about it.

It was bullshit.

She missed her mother right now more than she had in some time, knowing no one else could help calm some of these motherly fears than her own flesh and blood who had gone through it. She missed just being a fresh faced vampire killer and joking about school and crushes.

Looking back, it all seemed so much easier then.

She didn't know what Angel was thinking with this batshit idea about sending her away but she really wasn't up for a full blown argument about it right now either. And thankfully, he didn't seem to be any more than she.

Less, as he crossed the room to where she sat at the edge of the bed, those dark eyes soaking her in. He had briefly mentioned he was worried the place was bugged somehow and to be careful about what was said, she only remembered even bits and pieces about that, but neither of them looked like they needed a whole lot of words to be passed around right now.

Angel felt like a powerful wave crashing into her as his body met hers, gently forcing her back against the mattress, his lips pressing into hers. "I love you," he whispered against her ear, her hands roaming over his body, pulling at the clothes in the way. His own hands cradled her stomach where the growing being inside of her rested, "I love you," he repeated. "I will do everything I possibly can, whatever I possibly have to, to keep you safe," he continued.

Buffy just closed her eyes, his lips returning to her, creating a trail of kisses across the side of her neck.

She wanted to ask him what they were going to do, to repeat that she was in no way leaving without him, to try and tell him any bit of how she was feeling right now... but words just couldn't seem to come. She started tearing harder at his shirt until it began to give way, getting help from him at the end when it was taking too long, tossing discarded items blindly around the room until there was nothing left between them.

Buffy's fingernails scraped at the back of his neck as he finally entered her body, both of them groaning loudly into the dark room. Angel's entire body seemed to tremble and shake against her as he settled in as deep as he could go, pausing for a moment to let her adjust and to just soak up the feel of her. If it were possible he would stay like this forever, his unbeating heart squeezed tightly in his chest, he wasn't sure how he was going to find the strength to watch her leave tomorrow, but those weren't thoughts he wanted to focus on right now.

If these were the last hours he had with her, and their little miracle growing inside her, then he planned to make them count. Unable to stand it a moment longer, he slowly withdrew from her depths, her fingers still locked tightly around him, held him close as he set a slow languid pace, savoring each and every breath he drew from her. Her thighs squeezing him tightly, he tried to convey everything he was feeling, the pain, the longing, the worry, with every move he made.

He was beyond grateful that she had let whatever disagreement they were bound to have tomorrow go for tonight. It was clear neither of them had the mental capacity for an argument tonight, but he was especially worried about her. He himself wasn't sure which way was up right now, but he knew she had to be feeling a million times worse. Afterall she was the one having to go through everything, and despite the fact that the thought of her round and full with his child invoked emotions in him he long thought dead, he knew feeling helpless was already taking its toll on her.

A single bead of moisture escaped the corner of her eye, and with as much care as possible he used his thumb to brush it away. "I love you," he heard her breathe next to his ear, and it took all of his near two-hundred and fifty years of existence not to fall apart right there with her. He had no words, there were none for what lay ahead of them, and both of them knew it. Instead of lying to her, he leaned to capture her lips and didn't relent until she was pulling away gasping, desperate for the oxygen he didn't need.

Being careful not to hurt her, he gripped her hips, his fingers digging into her supple flesh he rolled them over, guiding her above him he took a second to let his eyes dance over the beauty before him. It didn't matter how many times he found himself in this position, he still found her utterly mesmerizing. Gliding his hands up the smooth curve of her sides, he brushed the pads of his thumbs over her pert nipples, before gently cupping the mounds within his palms. Already he could feel a difference in their shape, the weight of them in his hands.

With much hesitation, he finally abandoned her perfect globes, inching his fingers down, his nails softly scraped a path down her toned abdomen. Even though he'd seen the tiny being growing beneath his fingertips twice now, it was still a lot to process, to accept. What he wouldn't give to spend every single second of the rest of eternity by their side. Especially these next few months, obviously he'd missed nearly everything with Connor, but even had he somehow found a way to be there through Darla's pregnancy, he knew it wouldn't have been anything close to this.

He loved his son more than anything on this Earth, and he'd been through more with his mother than he ever cared to admit, but they never shared this, during their best days Darla hadn't amounted to half of what Buffy meant to him. She was his mate, the missing piece of his soul, and he was pretty sure once that baby got here he wouldn't stand a chance. He just had to make sure he got them to that point first.

Small sounds began to fall from her lips each time her body slammed down onto his own. She was getting desperate, her hips which were moving in a steady pattern up and down his hard length, shifted as she began to rock back and forth. A fine sheen of sweat covered her, he knew what she needed, what she wanted, but he wasn't ready for her to let go, not yet. His thumb dipped lower, sliding between her swollen folds just above where they were joined. Circling her clit, he watched her head fall back, her pace quickening, he smirked, unable to deny how much he loved this control he held over her, the most powerful slayer in all of history.

"Angelll," she cried his name, needing him to take control. Sitting up, he guided her legs around his waist, the new depths eliciting a small groan from each of them. His hands back around her waist, he helped to guide her movements.

Every single muscle throughout her entire body was coiled, her arms wrapped around his neck, she held onto him silently promising herself that she was never going to let him go, no matter what plans he was spinning in that head of his. If there was ever something they were supposed to do together it was this. Even if she wasn't suddenly the target of the underworld, or powerless, even if they were just a couple of regular joes she still wouldn't be able to imagine doing any of this without him.

Knowing they only got one shot at this made the thought of them being separated seem all the more daunting. She got the cliff notes version of everything he went through with Connor, how Darla had shown up hours away from giving birth. Then later how Connor had been stolen from him, only to be returned a mouthy teenager. She knew Angel better than anyone on this planet, and she despite all of the terrors surrounding this pregnancy, it was something he longed for more than anything in this world.

Perhaps not knowingly, and judging from his initial reaction she doubted the possibility had even crossed his mind before, but now that he knew they had created this brand new life together, nothing would stop him from protecting it, from protecting her. She just had to figure out a way to convince him that the best way to accomplish that was with him by her side.

Falling back, she tried to keep her legs locked around him as he settled above her once again. Raking her fingers through his hair, she gently traced the ridge of his brow just as his eyes locked onto her own. The rest of the world vanished, time seemed to stand still, fully seated inside of her, they both seemed to freeze, each of them reading them emotion behind the others eyes.

She'd seen Angel cry, not often, but there had definitely been a few times throughout their tumultuous relationship where he'd shed a few tears, and every single time it absolutely gutted her. This one was no different, she went to speak, what she was going to say she wasn't sure but Angel shook his head, leaning down he tentatively brushed his lips against hers instead. What had started off as soft and endearing, quickly turned, his movements becoming more desperate and full of passion.

His head buried against her, he left a trail of warmth down the side of her tempting throat as his body began to move completely on its own accord, quickly becoming desperate, possessed. And there really wasn't anything Buffy could do but try and hold on for the ride.

OoOoO

Rubbing a tired hand down his face, Angel sighed as sleep abandoned him after just a few short hours, the weight of the world crashing back down on him. Sitting up, he groaned as his eyes glanced at a bright red numbers, his heart squeezing in his chest as he then took in the sight of Buffy peacefully still lost in the dreamworld beside him.

He still couldn't fully wrap his head around the idea of the tiny life growing inside of her. How many times had he replayed that conversation from years back when she was still in high school and they were out hunting for monsters when it dawned on her that this very thing wasn't in their future. She had played it off well but he remembered that look on her face, the slight change in her voice as she spoke. He himself never gave much thought to the idea of having a family, I mean that was fucking ridiculous, especially at that point in his life but never had he wanted it more after that, too.

It was one of those thoughts he just never could fully seem to escape, pushing him to wonder his place in her life, what he was keeping from her, standing in the way of her having. And time would show how it would add into the snowball of a disaster their relationship had once turned out to be.

Then there was Connor... a miracle in itself, but some part of him always felt like it was such a betrayal to her, to that moment, to all the could have beens. Lightening in a bottle happening once was fucking mind blowing enough, but twice? And this time actually with Buffy... he didn't understand it.

Reaching a hand out as gently as he could, he laid his palm against her stomach, closed his eyes, and tried to convey some sort of the feelings he had brewing inside of him to the small being they had created. The love, the worry, the joy, the sorrow of how much he knew he was going to miss out on. He also said a prayer to anyone or anything willing to listen out there in the universe that he could pull this off and keep the two of them safe.

And that when all this was said and done, it would all be worth it.

OoOoO

It took no effort at all for the thoughts, worries, feelings to all come crashing into him one after the other after the next the longer he laid there. As much as he wanted to just stay here, wrapped up in this moment, to try and push everything off a little long... that wasn't exactly feasible. His heart squeezed in his chest as the battle raged of wanting to savor this and how daunting the idea that this could be the last time he had this right here for who the hell knew how long, he wanted time to draw out longer and yet knew how dangerous every second was turning into.

He still had no idea how he was supposed to convince this damn stubborn woman to do as he wished, and truthfully no matter how badly he knew it was the right decision, the only choice, he wasn't so sure how he was going to make it through all of this without her all the same.

He had been trying so desperately to work things out with her, to get all his ducks in a row for their future, to deal with this take down and a mythical pregnancy being tossed into the middle of it certainly had him thrown. It terrified him to no end thinking of what all could happen to Buffy and this baby and how now more than ever he was going to have to play his cards right to not make this situation worse. He was very good at playing the part when it came to The Black Thorne but that was before all of this, too.

Even if - when - he did everything under the sun to get her to somewhere safe, it wasn't as easy as shutting everything off and he knew that all too fucking well. He was going to worry, and wonder, and miss her... feel the guilt of not being there for either of them during this time threatening to crush him into nothingness... and all it would take is one fucking misstep and everything could blow up in his face.

OoOoO

"Angel, no! We are not doing this," Buffy argued, folding her arms over her chest.

He sighed, pacing a hole in the floor. She swore she wasn't leaving, damn near yelled at him for even suggesting it again and his mind raced trying to find the right words to get this through to her. He played out countless scenarios of how to simply get her out of here... drugging her, carrying her kicking and screaming... but what he kept coming back to was how none of this was going to work unless she actually agreed to it. It wasn't enough to just force her to leave. He knew her too damn well, she would fight it every step of the way, she would get to whatever next destination and keep trying to return, to reach out to him, to do one thing or the next that spelled out certain death once word got around about this... so he needed her on fucking board.

As if the situation couldn't get more impossible.

Letting out another huff of air, he turned and slowly walked back over to her. Taking both her hands into his, he sat down in front of her to make his best plea effort. "Buffy, I love you, I have loved you every second since the very first moment I laid eyes on you. I swore right then and there I would always, I would love you for the rest of my life, I would do anything to protect you, I would do anything in my power to always try and keep you safe. And I'm not about to go back on any of that now. If for a second I thought there was another way around this then trust me I wouldn't be sitting here fighting you about this. The last fucking thing I want is to be away from you again, especially right now. I have spent too much of my life away from you as it is, I have lost out on too much and the universe is playing a cruel damn trick it feels like giving this gift to us right now because I can't imagine how much it's going to tear me apart not being there for you right now, thinking of everything I'm destined to miss out on in the next... well, however long it takes to make sure you're not in danger-"

"Angel," she butted in, "There's never going to be a time when I'm not in danger.."

"You're right," he sighed, squeezing her hands a little tighter. "But this is different, it's not just your life that's at stake this time."

A heavy silence hung between them, for a moment he thought she was going to come up with another argument but then he watched the smallest quiver run through her lip, "I hate this," she barely managed to choke out.

"I know," he whispered, coming back to his feet so he could pull her against him. "I've thought about this from every side beautiful, I wish there was another way."

"How am I supposed to leave you," she sniffled, her eyes brimming with tears.

Even though a great sense of relief washed through him knowing that he was finally getting through to her, the reality of actually having to let her go left him with a crushing heaviness. Knowing there wasn't anything he could say, he captured her lips in some effort to convey how badly this whole thing was tearing him up too.

OoOoO

"So how's this supposed to work," she asked once Angel led her outside, and far enough away from Wolfram and Hart that they were relatively safe from prying ears. Her knuckles were white from their grip on his hand, and she had no doubt that even with her dwindling strength, a normal guy wouldn't have been able to handle it. Her head resting against his shoulder she peered up at the night sky, honestly not even sure where the day had gone.

Angel cleared his throat, "I already spoke to Giles, he'll be waiting at the airport when you land in Cleveland, he's arranged a safe house to take you too for now."

"Safe house," she repeated, confused and he nodded. "Just for a little while until we can all be certain that no one's coming after you. He's gathered a few of the new slayers that he trusts, and Willow's supposed to be there now setting up some sort of mystical protection. But even so," he continued, "I would feel a whole lot better if Faith and…" he trailed off, not believing himself the words that were about to come out of his mouth, "Spike were there too."

Any other time she would have taken the opportunity to poke fun of him, but knowing that he preferred Spike to be with her made her worry that much more. "Angel, you can't just send your whole team off just to try and protect me, in case you've forgotten you're kind of going up against the big evil here. It's bad enough that I'm having to leave, I'm not taking all of your back up too."

He figured she was going to have something to say about that part. "I won't be able to focus unless I know the two of you are safe, I'll be okay," he promised, walking up to a nondescript car parked at one of the meters and opening the passenger door to help her in.

Any other time she would have made some quip about the fact that he was rivaling Bond with his stealthy car collection but she still couldn't bring herself to see any humor in their situation. "So Faith and Spike get the role of Buffy's babysitter, where does that leave you?"

He laced his fingers back with hers over the console, "I've already told you…"

She cut him off, "You've told me the plan, but what kind of timeline are we talking about here Angel."

He sighed knowing what she was getting at. He could tell that she still hadn't been able to quite wrap her head around the fact that their child was growing inside her, but she was at least beginning to acknowledge it. His palm went to her stomach, "I'm not trying to miss anymore of this than I absolutely have too Buffy. As soon as I get things situated here I'll come find you, I swear."

OoOoO

They went to Spike's place to fill everyone in on what was going on, for once Angel did most of the talking. She may have reluctantly agreed to his plan, but it didn't mean she liked it, and she definitely wasn't in the mood to be the ringleader. Instead she stayed curled up in the corner of the couch trying with everything in her to pretend none of it was really happening. Well, no part except the tiny human growing inside of her. Now that she'd a little bit of time to get used to the idea, well she didn't think it was the worst thing in the world.

Unexpected definitely, but carrying Angel's baby had been a thought she hadn't even ever let herself hope for. After she found out about Connor, a series of what ifs clouded her mind, but she quickly shut them down, telling herself there was no use in wishing for the impossible.

"You okay," Angel asked once everyone had calmed down. Gunn and Lorne were staying in Los Angeles, Angel had given everyone, well except for Spike, the option of fleeing now or staying to fight. All of them objected in the beginning, but once he explained what was going on with her, and what was on the line Wes and Fred decided they would probably be more help protecting her. Faith tried to object and she was almost sure that the two of them were about to start punching their differences out, a fight which she fully intended on rooting for the dark haired slayer but after some time, and not surprisingly he was even able to convince her.

"Would it matter if I told you no?"

Everyone had pretty much dispersed, either to go rush and pack, or to head back to Wolfram and Hart to try and keep up some semblance of appearance while he spent these last moments with her and got her to the jet. Faith and Spike were around, but making themselves scarce for the moment, which he appreciated. "Hey," he whispered, sitting beside her on the sofa, then tugging on her hand until she was straddling his lap. "Everything's going to be okay," he brushed a stray hair behind her ear, trying to reassure her.

"We don't know that," she huffed, trying to push memories from another night where she'd lost him away.

He shifted her a little so that he could reach into his pocket. "I have something for you," his voice cracked, and she couldn't help but to touch her lips to his.

When they finally broke apart, she was breathless, and the evidence of Angel's arousal pressed firmly against her. Her face buried against the crook of his neck shook against him, "Give it to me after it's all over."

He kissed her softly, then gently grabbed hold of her hand, holding it between them he tried to steady his own nerves as he slid the piece of silver back over her finger. Then he watched her eyes go wide with realization, "I never told you the full meaning of these on your birthday," he paused, "I found this one night in the mansion, I was going to give it back to you, but then…" he trailed off.

Buffy's eyes were already welling up with tears as she stared down at her hand, the returned ring, his hands still connected with her own. A new rush of history slamming into her in the moment, how real yet another goodbye was refusing to be ignored all at the same time. There was truly such a love and hate relationship with how different and yet how things stayed the same between the two of them on this long journey together and she wondered if there ever would come a time when it would be easier to just exist in this world. Sometimes she worried this was all the world, fate, whatever had for them... a glimpse at everything they could ever want right before they slam some new disaster ten fold in between them. It wasn't fair.

Her head nodded, at least she thought it had, and with her voice barely a whisper she explained to him that while she didn't know the whole story back then, not that night or for awhile after even, but over the years she had learned there was a lot more to that night, those rings, what was happening between them without her realizing. Her heart clenched inside of her chest as she remembered one hell of a conversation she had wound up having with Giles on the very subject, rather out of the blue one evening when she had randomly skipped from thing to another discussing some demon jewelry piece they were after at the time. It had nearly knocked the breath out of her then and was determined to try again right here and now apparently. "Sometime there are really no words for how badly I wish we could have just been... just been regular people. We meet, we fall in love, we go live out whatever life we want like everyone else."

Angel brushed his lips against her forehead. "It wouldn't be quite as exciting though, now would it?" he said in a hushed tone.

"Exciting is way overrated. I want to be a boring ol' square peg for a change."

"That would be nice," Angel agreed before wrapping his large arms back around her tightly.

OoOoO

The two of them were granted as much time and privacy to say their goodbyes and yet it felt like it went by in a blink of an eye. No matter what, it would have never been enough time, but it was all just so much happening at once that it made her head spin. Everything felt like a blur... trying to make nervous talk with Angel and avoid letting the walls crash down on them just yet, passion winding up getting one last hold on them, unspoken words hanging in the air all around them, a flood of word vomit worries finally breaking through, promises of a better future...

She had flew into hysterics in his arms, refusing to go, to take it all back... and that would blur into them going over what she was to do once she got off the plane... next time would shift again into him whispering it was all going to be okay, that he would come to her as soon as he could, that he wanted to marry her, raise this miracle baby of theirs, and finally get what they had always wanted... kissing goodbye and pretending everyone wasn't awkwardly watching and trying not to watch... somehow actually going from his arms off onto the aircraft... it was all a blur.

She felt like she couldn't breathe, her stomach was knotted up, her entire body felt like it was shaking. She stared out of the window at him, fighting every instinct inside of her not to do this, her eyes locked with his... even as they started getting further and further she desperately peered out the window back to where he remained until she could no longer feel him.

And, as soon as that moment hit, she flung her seatbelt off and went racing for the bathroom.