A/N: Hi all, apologies for the delay in getting this up. A lot going on and just haven't had the time I had hoped to sit and write, hopefully should be changing soon and will have a more time to update. I will update whenever I can, but it will probably be fair to expect 2-3 weeks between chapters. Hopefully things settle down, so I have some more time to get thee out sooner. Still a long way to go.

A/N2: Also working on a couple of other Chuck FF, so that should be out in the next few weeks.

No Beta, all errors are my own.

I don't own Chuck / Nor have any rights to characters portrayed

Chapter 14

November 14, 2010 – Ritz Carlton Hotel- Suite 1202 – 12:20am

There was a knock at the door that got Ziva's attention from the movie she was watching. She paused the movie, got up and went to the door, putting her right hand to grip the sig she had in the small of her back. Peeking through she was a little surprised at the late-night visitor. She opened the door an answered, 'Good Evening Agent Walker, what can I do for you?"

There stood Sarah Walker, she had changed out of her evening gown, her hair down wearing dark jeans, a light blue sweater, jacket and boots. Sarah, a little surprised that Ziva answered the door, although she thought for a moment, of course Ziva would answer, Team Orion was staying in this suite. "Hello Agent David, I was hoping I could talk to Chuck." Sarah responded.

"Would you like to come in?" Ziva asked, opening the door, and standing to the side.

"Thank you," Sarah said coming inside. As she got into the living room area of suite, she looked around the room and said, "where's Chuck?" Sarah asked.

"He's not here, he went out." Was all Ziva would say. She wanted to see if Agent Walker would admit to her what she really wanted. Ziva was not going to let her friend be manipulated or used by her or the US government.

"Can I help you with something?" Ziva continued.

"I need to talk to Chuck. Do you know when he will be back?" Sarah asked.

"I don't know, he said he was going out." Ziva finished.

Sarah didn't like the answers she was getting. "Teammates watch each other's back, we know where each other are, so in case they run into problems we can be there to help,' Sarah finished.

Ziva smirked, "we always have each other's back, this is a tight nit team. But we also respect each other's privacy. Its's funny, you say teammates, but from what I know and have learned, you never treated Chuck like a teammate or partner, he was your asset, or the intersect. We have seen some of those video conferences both where Chuck was and was not present. I'll give you this, of you, Casey, and Beckman, and Graham, you at least gave him some credit and seemed to respect what he was trying to do. But you never treated him like a teammate." She paused before continuing, "and privacy, cameras and bugs in his apartment weren't necessary, they were over the line, and you know it. He wanted to help, he volunteered, all he wanted was a little respect. He wanted to impress you. I know the American rules for handling assets, but we both know Chuck never should have been categorized as an asset. He should have been made an analyst or hired as a contractor; he should have been paid. You all treated him like a piece of equipment, an asset. or an enemy. You people took over every aspect of his life, made him lie to his family and friends, and then when he wanted to help his dad, you decide to throw him in a bunker(?) And you, the one person who he thought he could trust, lead him like a lamb to the slaughter." She finished.

Sarah stood there, a cascade of emotions. Her first instinct was to snap back, tell her she didn't know what she way talking about. She didn't know her, didn't know how she felt. She wanted to scream she would do anything to protect, that she was trying to keep him safe. But the truth was, she had had over a year and half to think about it, how they treated him, how she treated him. Truth was, Ziva was right. She knew she hadn't been fair to him, hadn't treated him as an equal, and while she did think she treated him better than the rest, that wasn't saying a lot.

As the silence continued, Ziva spoke up again. "I get it you know. I may not agree with what you did and how you did it. Truth is, I am not sure how I would have handled it, I'd like to think I would have been better, but I don't know. Our training is different in a lot of ways, but also similar in a lot of ways." She paused, then continued "I love Chuck, but I am not in love with him. Its pretty obvious to what we have seen from video and mission logs at that time, you were in love with him, if not you really liked him, its plain as day." She stopped.

Sarah was stunned, how could this woman know any of this, before she could ask Ziva continued.

"You're wondering how and what we know. Orion mostly, but Chuck to. They both had been tapped into your surveillance for almost the entire time Chuck was under surveillance, at first it was just Orion, but the longer it went on, Chuck also tapped in. That's how he knew about the Termination order. Both saved all the footage to their secure cloud drives. When we were brought on board Orion shared a lot of it. Chuck had told us his story, but not all of it. And honestly, some of it was hard to believe, the video reinforced it."

In a small voice, Sarah finally speaks "I thought I was protecting him. Fulcrum was close. I thought he would be safe, we would get his dad, or end Fulcrum, and then he could come back."

"Agent Walker" Ziva started.

Sarah stopped her. "Sarah, please call me Sarah."

Ziva took a minute to look at Agent Sarah Walker, she had heard of her, knew of her reputation as the CIA's 'Wild Card Enforcer', but that was not who was standing in front of her. The woman in front of her was struggling, broken.

"Ziva," she replied, 'please call me Ziva."

With that, Sarah had a faint smile. "Ziva, I knew right after Casey tranqed Chuck I had made a mistake. When Beckman gave us the order, I argued against it, but she made some good points. Chuck was never one to follow orders."

Ziva spoke up, "Sarah, you're not stupid, you had to know once Beckman had him under her control, she wasn't going to let him go. Even if you had saved Orion, she would have had them both in a bunker."

"You're right, I was scared, scared he would go after his dad on how own, scared Fulcrum would get him. I didn't agree with the order to bunker Chuck, but I thought it was the best option out of a lot of shitty ones. I thought, once he was safe, Casey and I could get his father. Then."

"Then what?" Ziva asked.

"I don't know, best case Casey and I could get Chuck out of the bunker and go back to the way things were. Worst case, maybe I could take him off grid." Sarah said.

Ziva shook her head, "Sarah, again you're a smart, intelligent woman. You had been around Chuck almost everyday for 2 years, do you really think he would willingly go back to working with you, trust you? The only difference between what you're saying and where we are now is, Chuck was able to escape on his own. Turns out, he didn't need your help."

"I know, you're right, about everything. I panicked, not just about the Fulcrum threat, but maybe more so my feelings. I should have just taken him and ran. I knew that walk from the BuyMore to Castle that that was the end of our relationship as we knew it. I hoped after he was safe, I could get him out, explain to him what I was thinking, Chuck had always been patient and understanding about my job, I hoped, I don't know, maybe a fresh start for the both of us." Sarah finished.

"Why should he? What's changed? Sarah, I don't say this to be cruel, but put yourself in his place, why should he trust you?"

There was silence between the 2 women, both standing there in their own thoughts. Before Sarah could respond, Ziva continued "he cares about you still, even despite what you did. He hasn't said it, he doesn't say much about you and his feelings for you, except to joke about how easy it must have been for you. He hadn't dated or really talked to a woman in 5 years after Jill and Bryce. He says its karma they sent Bryce Larkin's girlfriend for the job of playing him. He's convinced he was just an asset to you, an assignment. That's the only way he's made sense of it. He doesn't believe you cared for him; you were just doing your job. He's said you should have been an actress; you would have won an Oscar or Emmy, he's convinced."

Tears welled up in Sarah's eyes. The fact that Chuck didn't believe she cared for him. Why would he, she constantly told him their relationship was a cover, they were spending time together for the cover. Under truth serum she told him there wasn't anything 'under the undercover thing'. But somehow, she always thought he knew. She hoped he picked up what she so badly wanted to say out loud to him but couldn't. How she was doing everything she could to give him as 'normal' a life as she could under the circumstances. She knew Chuck needed reassurance, he didn't have any confidence, even though she thought he might be the greatest man she met. But how could he, she would build him up and tear him down like the rest. Then to betray him to a bunker. She realized Chuck had every right to believe what he did. She realized, this mission to win Chuck back might not be something she could accomplish. With that thought, the tears started to stream down her face.

With tears streaming down her face, Sarah sat down on the couch and Ziva did the same. "He started as just another assignment, the idea was to get in get the information, get out. I had gotten a quick workup from the analyst at Langley. Wasn't all that impressive, 26-year-old Nerd Herd Supervisor at the BuyMore, lived with his sister, didn't own a car, didn't have money, what he did have was spent on video games or comic books. I had a picture, I later realized it was the one they used for his BuyMore id card. He was cute, but not what I was used to or really went for. I knew he had been kicked out of Stanford for cheating and had been Bryce's roommate. Parents had abandoned both he and his sister. I said to myself, 'piece of cake'. You know how it goes, bat my eyes, take him out to dinner, I thought I would have him eating out of my hand. I walked up to the Nerd Herd desk to use the broken phone rouse and flirt with him. Morgan said something, and suddenly I heard him beat boxing 'Vicky Vale, Vick Vick Vicky Vale', while he was on hold on the phone." Sarah smiled at the memory. "That was the first time he made me smile a real smile. When he looked up and saw me, the phone just fell from his ear. It was adorable. But you know, in the middle of our back and forth, a frantic father came in with his daughter, I think she was probably 8 or something in her ballerina tutu. Apparently, he messed up filming her recital for his wife, the crushed look on the little girls face was heartbreaking. Chuck didn't hesitate, he got the BuyMore staff to put together an performance. He politely blew me off to help a complete stranger and little girl. Just before they were going to start, the little girl looked nervous, so Chuck got down to her level and asked what was wrong, she said she was always in the back because she was too tall and blocked the other ballerina's. Chuck smiled at her and said 'can I let you in on a little secret, but you can't tell the other girls? Real ballerinas are tall.' The way that little girls face broke into a smile. I realized I was completely wrong about what I thought. I had completely underestimated him. I had to get out of there and regroup. He truly was a nice guy, and in our line of work, we don't meet nice guys. The next night we went out, I told him I liked him, and I meant it. I told him I had a lot of baggage, he offered to be my baggage handler." She ended grinning.

Ziva smiled at that. "He is charming, in an endearing sort of way." Ziva decided Sarah had shared with her, so she would share a little with Sarah. "The first time I met Chuck, I was in a hell hole, being beaten and tortured. It got to the point, they weren't even trying to get information from me, they just wanted me to suffer."

"Oh my god," Sarah said, "they didn't?" She asked, she didn't need to finish the statement, both ladies knew what the question was.

"No," Ziva answered, "at least they hadn't gotten to that point yet. I don't know how long I had been there, how many days, but it was obvious to me, Mossad had given up on me, I was expendable and on my own." She paused, "then one night, all hell breaks loose, explosions and gunfire on one side of the compound I was being held. All of a sudden, a tall, lanky figure in black fatigues comes in with a black mask. He takes his mask off and there is this guy with curly hair telling me he is here to get me out. He asked me if I could fight, but at that point, I needed help walking. He grinned at me and said no worries, I got you. I asked how big his team was, and he snorted a chuckle, told me it was just him. That was it, I knew we wouldn't make it out. But then, I saw him cut through at least 15 men, never seen anything like it, his skills, his aim was true, and we did get out. He stayed with me for days, nursing me back to health. He told me about himself, his story, and for the first time in a long time, I told my story to him, something about him just made me comfortable. We asked each other questions, and we both answered them honestly. He came for me because no one else would and he thought I was worth it. When he offered me a spot on his team, I didn't hesitate, Mossad may have given up on me, but I knew Chuck never would."

Sarah listened as Ziva told her tale. It sounded a lot like what he had done for Zondra and Carina, at least their Chuck already knew Carina, but it was just what Chuck always did, the right thing.

Sarah was brought out of her thoughts by Ziva speaking again, "I love Chuck, he loves me. But we are not in love with each other. He is like the brother I never had, he calls me number 2, short for Ellie number 2. Sarah, I have regrets just like you, what do you want from Chuck?"

The question Sarah had been thinking about for over the last year and half, hoping she would get a chance.

"I just want Chuck. I'm in love with him, I think I have been from the beginning. People like us, admitting emotions are a sign of weakness, but Chuck made me realize emotions can be a strength, remind us why we are doing what we're doing. I made the biggest mistake of my life following that order, I really was just trying to keep him safe. I was wrong, I knew it almost immediately. I know we can't go back, but I am hoping maybe we can start over. I'd do almost anything to be able to get another chance. I would do things a lot differently. He changed me; I didn't realize how much until he was gone." Sarah finished.

Ziva listened, she was an expert at reading people and figuring out when they are lying. She believed what Sarah was saying, as much as she might not have wanted to. She took in what Sarah said, but she still had questions.

"Sarah, if what you say is true, what about your job? What about Bryce? Are we to believe Beckman hasn't ordered you to get close to Chuck, get him to build a governor or take his? Then what, place him in a bunker or black site if he won't cooperate, which we both know, he will not under those circumstances." Ziva asked.

Sarah took a deep breath, "first of there is no me and Bryce, there hasn't been since before I met Chuck. He is one of my partners and teammates, but it is strictly professional. I don't even like him, he has changed, and so have I since we were together. Bryce is not what I want, Chuck is." Sarah stated firmly.

"As for your other question, Beckman has ordered us to try and get close to Chuck, see if we can get him to leave Team Orion and come back and work as part of Team LA. Casey, Zondra, Carina, and I have all told Beckman Chuck wouldn't agree to that, why would he after the way we treated him. He doesn't trust us or Beckman, and he shouldn't, he's being a good spy that way. Beckman doesn't respect him or your team, despite everything you have all accomplished. What Chuck and your team has done is impressive, and those are what we know of, I am sure there are more that we don't know of. If we can't get him on board, her plan is for us to grab him, her idea is for us to separate him from your team to try and do so. Worst case, we take the governor and bunker him." Sarah said

Ziva took it all in, it was what Chuck and Orion had expected. She nodded and then said, "we have been expecting that, we thought you might have already tried to grab him already. What's the delay?"

Sarah answered, "for now Beckman told us to play it straight with you and your team. She really thinks if we play nice, Chuck will willingly join. Honestly, I think she's a bit delusional, but that's her thinking. For now we play it straight, but that doesn't mean she won't call in an hour and give the order to grab him."

"And what will you do Sarah? You and Casey have a reputation of following orders, will you tranq him and take his governor and bring him in? After all, you did that once already, why should I or any of us believe you won't?" Ziva asked.

Sarah sat tall, "that's a fair question, like I told you, I love him, I need Chuck in my life. If he gives me a chance, I will resign from the CIA, join your team if you will all let me. Really, I just want to be with Chuck whether we are still fighting evil, or just living in a house, raising our family, whatever he wants, I want to be with Chuck. I will never give him up to Beckman or anyone else, I will protect him with my life." Sarah stated emphatically.

Sarah then continued, "you should also know, Zondra and Carina won't either, I am not completely positive, but I don't think Casey will either. He feels bad about what he and I did and is looking to atone for that."

"And Agent Larkin?" Ziva asked.

"Agent Larkin is an untrustworthy piece of shit, who is only looking out for himself. He's changed so much and the intersect has given him a god complex, although he had one before the intersect. He will not hesitate to stab any of us in the back if it helps him." Sarah said.

Ziva grinned. "He is going to be an issue, he couldn't handle multiple flashes, then he blew your cover. He was supposed to be in the van. Chuck isn't going to put up with that. And just to be clear, what are your feelings for Agent Larkin?"

"I will shoot him myself if that's what it takes to keep Chuck or your team safe." Sarah said with conviction.

Ziva laughed and then got serious, "at least we agree on that. Sarah, I want to believe what you are saying, I think your being honest, but I am not the one you have to convince. I met Chuck roughly 6 months after everything happened, I hope your prepared because to win his trust back, I honestly don't know what it will take. But know this, if he gives you another chance and you betray him again, you will have me to deal with."

"I will never knowingly betray him again, I'm glad he has you watching out for him." Sarah said, meaning it. "Ziva, do you know where he went, I really want to talk to him, I need to apologize and let him know how I feel." Sarah asked almost pleading.

Ziva looked at Sarah, and despite the conversation they had been having, could see the desperation in Sarah's question. "I don't know where he went, he said he had to clear his head and think. I know back home he has a place he goes to be alone; I am assuming he has a place like that here, but I don't know where it is."

Sarah was silent, she could think of one place she knew Chuck liked to go and think. Could it be that simple?

"I think I know where he is. Thank you for listening Ziva, I need to go." With that Sarah got up and headed to the door.

November 14, 2010 – Point Dume beach, Malibu, California – 1:25am

Chuck sits on 'his' beach. This was the place he would come when life overwhelmed him, chance to just look out over the massive Pacific ocean always helped to calm him, let him think through whatever was bothering him. When his parents both left him, Stanford, Jill, and even when he first got the intersect. Chuck had left the hotel on the motorcycle and just rode around, at this time of night traffic wasn't heavy. He went by his old apartment in Echo Park, he figured Casey was still living there, so he just rode bye, but it was a familiar ride. It felt nice to be 'home', although he knew they would be packing up soon and heading to their new home. The mission had been successful but had not gone according to plan. He had been right; Bryce couldn't follow orders and nearly blew it. Seeing him collapse with the flashes was a little unnerving, he had seen it on video, but not like this. Seeing it in person was hard, while he didn't like Bryce, the intersect was a serious problem for him, he needed to remove or suppress it, or it would kill him. When he yelled for Sarah to help him could have been a real problem. So much for the 'professional' spy he was. He hated to admit it to himself, but it had felt like old times working with Sarah, before everything that happened with, he and his dad, up until Asshats entrance and show. When Bryce called for her like a boyfriend would for his girlfriend. Although he didn't think they were together based on what he had seen on the Castle footage and video from their missions, he thought they only acted the couple, but truth be told, he didn't know for certain. He had thought about going over the Santa Monica pier, but at this hour he thought the beach was best. While he was trying to clear his head, he couldn't help but think about next steps, they would debrief with Beckman and Team LA in the morning, pack up and head out. It might be a good idea to set up some type of base in LA to work out of, he wasn't going to risk going into Castle, while they may have played it straight this time, he knew Beckman to well and that wouldn't last. He looked out over the dark ocean and sighed, looking forward to the day life would go back to being simple, before all the violence, darkness, and spies had come into his life.

An Audi A7 pulled into the parking lot, it was mostly empty, a car or 2 on the far side of the lot and over to the right side of the lot was a single motorcycle. That was the spot, she still liked to think of it as 'their' spot. She has been here a couple of times since he's been gone. It brought her some sense of normal, thought she brought it closer to him. She remembered her first time here, the night after their first 'date'. While it might have been a mission at the start, as she got to know him better, she liked to think of it as a real date, at least the first part of it. She couldn't help but think about how wrong it all went, the order by Beckman to bunker Chuck, and worse than that, her role in that. She was going to go talk to Chuck, tell him everything, and beg for a chance to make things right. She would quit the CIA, she would join Team Orion, she would do just about anything to win his trust back, not for Beckman, the CIA, or greater good, but for her. She pulled the car up next to the motorcycle, parked, took a moment, go out of the car, and looked off out over the beach. In the distance, she could see someone sitting in 'their' spot, it was him. She took a deep breath and started to walk over to have the most meaningful conversation she has ever had with anyone.

Even with the breeze, between the headlights and hearing the car door opening, he knew it was her. She was the only one who would have known to think to look for him here. He knew this was a conversation that had to happen. He just wanted some honesty. One thing he realized the last 18 months, the only real things he ever learned about her was either through observation or by accident. She never willingly volunteered anything. Maybe, if she was honest, he could finally move on with his life as it is.

Sarah was standing less than 10 feet from him. Much like her first time here, she had taken her boots off and was walking in the sand barefoot. She was trying to figure out what to say, 'Hi Chuck', didn't seem to be right, before she could speak Chuck spoke to her.

"What can I do for you Agent Walker?" he started.

Sarah was grateful he had started the conversation but didn't like he was still referring to her as 'Agent Walker'.

"Hi Chuck, I wanted to talk to you, just you and me, no one else. I owe you an explanation and an apology, I am just hoping you'll hear me out? Do you mind if I sit?" She finished.

Chuck listened to her request. "Have a seat if you like. You never wanted to 'talk' to me before, something about being bad with words, why now Agent Walker?"

"Chuck, will you please call me Sarah like you used to? I have a lot I need to say to you, and at least for this conversation can you call me Sarah, please?" Sarah almost pleaded.

"Ok Sarah, how's your boyfriend? Those multiple flashes did a number on him, that's why I wanted him in the van." Chuck asked.

"Chuck, Bryce is not my boyfriend, we have not been together in any way other than professional since before I met you. After I got him out of the party, I took him back to his hotel and gave him some aspirin and told him to get some sleep before tomorrow's briefing."

"Sarah, I know Bryce, he doesn't understand the word no." Chuck said.

"If you're asking does he want us to get back together, your right, he does. I don't. I have made that completely clear to him, there is no us. We can work together, but that is the extent of our relationship. We are not, nor will we ever be together again." Sarah said with confidence.

"Ok, if you say so." Chuck responded.

Sarah didn't like the fact that Chuck seemed skeptical. She thought best to continue on.

"Chuck, I have made a lot of mistakes in my life. You know about how I grew up with my dad, the cons and how that was a huge factor in getting me into the CIA. What I have realized, mostly since I first met you, the reason Graham recruited me is with my background in conning people with my dad, it was a lot of what the CIA wanted me to do, except they used the greater good as the excuse. It's a lot of the same work. You know I didn't have a 'normal' upbringing, my dad always taught me to I could only depend on myself. Graham knew expanded that thinking. Being a spy, we are trained to only rely on ourselves. Part of spy training is to make sure agents follow their orders without question. The main test is what's called a red test, that is when we are ordered to kill someone when ordered. Its not self-defense, its an assassination order, it serves 2-part, first we eliminate an enemy combatant or traitor, secondly, it's a chance to test an agent's loyalty." Sarah stopped to let Chuck absorb that.

"I know about the red test Sarah; I also know about your past. Not just from what I learned; I have seen your CIA file that was uploaded as part of the intersect information." Chuck said.

Sarah felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. Chuck had seen her file, there was so much in there she never wanted him to know, and if he did have to know, she wanted to be able to tell him, explain it to him. Oh god, what must he have thought of her. She was brought out of her thoughts as Chuck started to speak again.

"I have killed people over the last 18 months, I understand its part of this life. I know you had to kill Mauser, and while I didn't like it, I understand it. What bothered me most there was the fact when I asked you about it, not 30 minutes later, how you could lie to me so easily. You know Sarah, you asked me to trust you, and I did. But you, Casey, Beckman or Graham, none of you ever trusted me. Never treated me like a teammate, partner, or someone any of you had any respect for. Just an asset." Chuck finished.

Sarah knew he was right, they hadn't shown him any respect, and she hadn't trusted, not really. She needed to get some control of this conversation. "You're right Chuck, we didn't, I didn't. Through everything I have been through in my life, nothing had prepared me to handle someone like you."

"Someone like me?" Chuck asked.

"Chuck, you are genuinely a good man, kind, giving. You put people first. I legitimately didn't think people like you were real except in tv and movies. When you helped the little ballerina, when Ellie was poisoned, and you gave her the antidote. I have never met anyone like you in my life Chuck. I knew pretty early on in our first date you didn't have anything to do with stealing the intersect, but I didn't know how to handle you. We were wrong to label you and treat you as an 'asset'. I should have fought for them to make you an analyst or contractor. Chuck, you didn't have a choice, but you basically volunteered to help. Assets don't do that, at least not with some incentive. We bullied and threatened you into helping instead of just asking. For what its worth, I am so sorry for my part in any of this." Sarah said, meaning it.

"Chuck, you need to understand, I have never been in anything close to a normal healthy relationship, I've never been a real relationship period. I never had anyone that wanted to get know me, men always just looked at me as object, something to conquest. They didn't care about what I thought or wanted. Some of that was my own fault, the CIA training doesn't lend to healthy relationships. I know I kept you spinning, never being straight with you. The truth is Chuck, our 'cover' relationship was the best relationship I have ever been in. I wanted to tell you, for me it wasn't a cover. Chuck, I fell for you almost from the beginning, but I didn't know what I was feeling, I was always conflicted. You and me being together goes against everything I have been taught first by my dad, and then by the CIA. Deep down I always wanted a normal life, but it had been pushed so far down I almost forgot. You reminded me, but I never thought I could do it." Sarah paused to take a breath.

"Chuck, with you I feel like I can do it. Chuck, I want us, no cover, no lies, no secrets. I will answer all your questions. I just want another chance, to prove to you that I am in love with you Chuck Bartowski, I have been for a long time, I was afraid to say it out loud." Sarah said, with tears welling in her eyes.

Chuck took in what Sarah was telling him, keeping his version of an Agent mask in place trying to control his emotions. This was everything he had always hoped to hear from Sarah. She cared about him, she loved him. It was no secret he loved Sarah, it was pretty obvious to everyone except him and her. While Chuck loved what he heard, as much as he wanted to believe it to be real, how could he. Even if she did love him, he would always come second to her job, while at one point he might have accepted that, he would not now. He thought carefully before speaking.

Chuck began. "You asked me to trust you right here on this beach almost 4 years ago. I did, even though I had no reason to. And despite finding out you lied to me over and over, I continued to trust you. Then after almost 2 years, when we were looking for my dad, I started to wonder if I could trust you. But then you came to the BuyMore, told me my dad was at Castle and safe, I actually apologized to you for doubting you. I knew Casey and Beckman didn't care about me, I was just a walking, talking computer to them. But you had asked me to trust you, not them. You knew how I felt about you, even if you didn't feel the same, I thought you were looking out for me. I realized after you led me into a trap, the woman I thought I knew, she didn't exist, you were playing a part, After seeing you file, I know it wasn't the first time you've done that, you're incredibly talented, if you were an actress, you should win an Emmy, it's both amazing and scary."

Sarah flinched, this was not going at all like she had hoped, she had just told him she loved him, and this is where he was going. She had to let him know that she knows what a mistake she made.

"Chuck, I was doing a job in all those things you saw in my file. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I led you to Castle and letting Casey tranq you. I knew it was wrong, but Fulcrum was getting close, and you were so focused on getting your father back, I was afraid you would do something foolish and get captured, or hurt, or killed. It was for your own protection, all I wanted to do was keep you safe. Once the threat was contained, we could get your dad and get you released from the bunker. I knew you would be angry and disagree, but I just wanted to keep you safe, that's all I've ever wanted to do for you, keep you safe and happy. I don't know what I would do if I lost you." Sarah answered honestly.

Chuck shook his head. "Sarah, all my life people have been making decisions based on what THEY think is best for me. You are just as bad as Bryce and my father; you took away my choice. And be honest with yourself Sarah, do you really think Beckman would ever let me out once she had me in the bunker? I'll answer that for you, she wouldn't. Incarcerating an innocent United States citizen with no cause is illegal and against the law. You people keep throwing the greater good in my face, where's the greater good in locking me up and throwing away the key. More indentured servitude to the mighty General Diane Beckman, all in the name of the greater good. And what do you think would happen if I refused to 'work' with them while I was in the bunker, you think they would let me just sit there and play video games. I have flashed on some of the things they do to 'encourage' assets to cooperate." Chuck spit out.

"Sarah you are an incredibly intelligent woman among many other things, you can't be so naive to think Beckman was going to let me go once the threat was neutralized. If it wasn't Fulcrum, it would have been something else. I knew if I didn't escape before I got there, I never would get out. You wanted to keep me safe, who was going to keep me safe from the Beckman and her version of the greater good?" Chuck let the question hang there.

Sarah was stunned she knew she had made a mistake, but with Chuck laying it all out for her, he was right. She and Casey had talked about it. He most likely wouldn't have gotten out, and if he refused to help, she knew exactly what they would do. They would use drugs, or beat him, threaten his family. While Chuck had been working with them, she and Casey could control and protect him from those types of measures, but once he would have been secured in a bunker, they would have had no control. If she ever would have wanted to get him out, she most likely would have had to break him out. While she would have done it, she would have needed help, and now that she thinks about it, she didn't know who would've helped her with it.

"You're right Chuck. I was naïve and stupid. I was scared of what could happen to you. I thought I could keep you safe and follow my orders, I didn't realize till after you were unconscious that I made a mistake."

"Sarah, I know at some point you and your team are going to be ordered to grab me and my governor. Beckman thinks she's so smart, but she really is very predictable. How am I supposed to believe anything you say? Even if it is true, you say you love me, all your actions say otherwise. And as you and others have said, Sarah Walker is a woman of action. Your actions told me all I need to know. Would you say the same things to try to get me to come in on my own, or join back up under Beckman's control, if I was just an assignment? I think it would sound a lot like what you're saying. Sarah, you're a master manipulator, its part of the reason you're so good at your job. Sarah, there isn't anything that you can say to make what you did ok. I've learned that you'll deceive me about the most important things to me. I thought that I knew you as a person, that I could trust you. After what you did, I know that I never knew you, and I don't trust anything you have to say. Everything you say or have said is suspect." Chuck stopped and took a minute.

Sarah sensed the silence and didn't like how this was going, "Talk to me Chuck" she said, hoping the familiar phrase might had some comfort and familiarity to past conversations.

Chuck looked at her, his face showed no emotion. He then spoke.

"Talk to me Chuck? Talk to me Chuck?" Chuck asked almost bewildered that she could say that to him after all this time like nothing has happened.

"How many times have you said that to me and I just opened up and told you my whole life story?" He said almost exacerbated. He continued.

"But god forbid I say Talk to me, Sarah. All I would get is you staring at me with a grin on your face. Not once have you ever volunteered anything about yourself to me. Hell, I have even begged, but nothing, well I did get something; I get a pencil stuck in my picture if I try to show any interest in your past. Anything and everything I ever learned about you that was real was by mistake, snooping, or later on when I looked at your Intersect file." Chuck finished, the frustration evident in his voice.

Sarah sat their looking at Chuck mouth agape, tears pooling in her eyes. She knew she had made mistakes in how she treated Chuck, both as a handler, but more importantly as someone who she loved and cared about. She just didn't know what to do with her emotions, the surveillance, everything. After what felt like an eternity, Chuck broke the silence, speaking again.

"What do you want from me Sarah?" he finally asked.

Sarah was crushed, the despair and pain in his voice was obvious. She did this, this was all her fault. It was time to be completely honest.

"I just want you. I want to be with you, marry you, have your kids, and grow old together. You made me realize there is more to life than spying and conning. I don't owe the government anymore; I've given all I have. You reminded me, I'm not just a spy, but a person, a woman, and that's ok. Chuck, please, tell me what I need to do to get you to give me a chance. I will never betray you. I love you." She finished, with tears in her eyes.

Chuck listened and watched as Sarah had seem to, maybe for the first time, been what he felt was completely honest with him. As much as he wanted to believe her, how could he trust her.

Breaking the silence, Chuck said, "I don't know if there is anything you can do Sarah."

Sarah sat their tears spilling down her cheeks. Chuck then spoke again.

"Sarah, Ryker's dead."

Sarah was stunned, how did he know about Ryker. She simply responded, "What?"

"Keiran Ryker, your handler before Burbank, he and his team are dead. The baby is safe." Chuck finished.

Sarah started to panic, "I don't know what you mean Chuck?" hoping tog et more information.

Chuck grinned, "you asked me to trust you, you say you trust me, but you still don't." He waited a minute then continued.

"I looked at your intersect file, I read about the Budapest mission. How you reported Ryker for using you to steal money, but the 'package' wasn't there. A simple internet search and I learned about the rich and powerful Hungarian family that was killed and their infant daughter 'Anna' was missing. I put the pieces together. How it took you so long to check in after shooting Ryker. You saved baby Anna and stashed her somewhere safe. Ryker would have used her for the money then probably killed her."

Sarah couldn't believe it, if Ryker and his men were dead, that meant Anna, now Molly was safe. She could contact her mother, maybe they could be par of each other's life again.

"I don't know who or where Anna is, but I figured it must be someone you trust, and since you don't seem to trust anyone, including your father, I am guessing she's with your mother or a grandmother. They are the only people I could guess that you would trust with something like that. She's safe, Ryker can't hurt her." Chuck finished.

Still stunned, all Sarah could say was "Thank you Chuck. You're right about everything. When I found out the package was a baby, I got her out. I got her safe and I figured out what Ryker had planned. I was going to turn her into the CIA, but she wouldn't be safe, Ryker would have still been able to find her, so I left her with my mom. I hadn't lived with my mom since I was 7, but the last couple of years before Burbank I reached out. The CIA had no idea of my birth identity or who my mother was, so there was no way Ryker could have found her. It meant I couldn't contact them again, but they would be safe, and Molly could grow up and have a normal childhood. How did you figure it out?"

"I'm a smart guy Sarah, with the intersect information and some hacking and internet searches. Knowing the person, I had thought you were, hoped, I didn't think you would do anything like that to a child. We came across Ryker on another mission, when I realized who he was, it wasn't a hard decision." Chuck finished.

After a minute he continued "This is where your spy training is bullshit, I would have thought after working together as a team, you would have seen the advantage of working together and trusting in others."

Sarah took in the criticism, "you're right Chuck. But you know about my life, everyone but my mom has betrayed me, this was too important, I couldn't risk it."

"I never betrayed you." Chuck said.

"No, you haven't." Sarah responded. "You never would."

There was silence for a few minutes. Chuck broke the silence.

"Sarah, I care about you, I always will. I hate what you did, as much as I might want to, I don't know how I can ever trust you."

"Chuck, I will do anything for another chance, please, let me prove to you that you can trust me." Sarah pleaded.

Chuck stood up, he was mentally exhausted from ths conversation.

"Sarah, all I can tell you we'll talk again, we'll see what happens. but that's enough for tonight. Have a good night, get some rest." As he got up and headed to the motorcycle.

Sarah walked back with Chuck as she was about to get in the A7, "Chuck" she said to him as he was puttig on his helmet. Chuck looked back, "yea?"

"Thank you." She said.

Surprised, Chuck asked "for what?"

"For listening, hearing me out. But most importantly for taking care of Ryker, with him gone that means Molly and my mom are safe. Saving her was the best thing I have ever done. I would like you to meet them someday." Sarah said, almost shyly.

"I'd like that." Chuck answered. "Goodnight, Sarah." He said as he started the bike and rode off into the night.

Sarah had hope. The talk hadn't gone like she had hoped, everything he said was correct. But he said he cared about her, that was a start, now she just had to find a way to prove to him he could trust her.