Disclaimer: All music lyrics contained herein are the express property of Columbia Records, the characters portrayed herein are the property of Warner Brothers and NBC Universal, this story was written under fair use laws.
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #1: Hello everyone, I'd like to dedicate this story to FF user MarkeyDeSad, without him this story never would have happened. So on Monday I posted chapter one of Quality Time, and he and I got to talking. He was talking about some of his own work and he told me to read his story "Ends in San Pedro" it's a very short, but brilliantly emotional little story. He was telling me about the music that inspired it and the songs he mentioned were El Paso and Feleena by Marty Robbins. Now I've listened to a lot of music and I mean A LOT, but i'd never heard of Marty Robbins or either of those songs. I looked them up and they're brilliant! Seriously go listen to both of them right now. So anyway, Feleena touched me so much that at 9:49 PM EST last night I was inspired to write a story. I worked on it most of last night well into the night and then all day today. I finished it at 4:39 PM EST. All I can say is that this story was born from genuine inspiration, which is so rare. This story practically wrote itself, I made almost no changes in my revisions because it was almost exactly what my heart wanted it to be. I am so happy with how this story turned out so I'm dedicating this story to you Markey, thank you for the conversation and the recommendation.
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #2: This story was not beta'd so any mistakes are my own, enjoy everyone!
Feleena
A Story by
CharmingCharles2896
Inspired by the Song
"Feleena (from El Paso)" by
Marty Robbins
It had been a Mother's Day for the ages, the first happy Mother's Day in a long time; they'd rescheduled it after Chuck had been forced to miss the day due to spy life related issues. Ellie didn't know that was the reason, but it was nonetheless. Regardless of the necessary reschedule, food had been consumed, great company had been enjoyed, it had been a great evening. Mother's Day had new faces this year, more than just Chuck, Ellie and Devon; now Morgan, Sarah, and John Casey had joined in on the annual dinner. Now the evening was almost over and the group was sitting around enjoying drinks and simply chatting. Turns out that John Casey was a talented mixologist, so after he'd ran back to his place to gather some things he'd returned and everyone was now enjoying some drinks.
Sarah was currently curled up on Chuck's lap in the plush chair, Ellie and Devon were cuddled on one end of the couch, while Morgan sat on the other. Casey had pulled a chair from the dining room table and was sitting off to the left, between the couch and the front door. They'd been enjoying stories about childhood, funny stories about Morgan and Chuck's trips to Disneyland as children. Sarah had told a story about her childhood that Chuck didn't know was truthful or not. All in all, it was a wonderful evening, then Morgan had an idea.
"You know what would be a great way to cap of this evening?" Morgan asked, Chuck and Sarah's looked over at the little bearded man; Ellie looked worried, but said nothing. "Why don't you play a song for us Chuck?" Morgan said with a small smile; in an instant, Ellie's eyes lit up at the idea and a bright smile appeared on her face.
"That's a great idea!" Ellie commented as she looked over at Chuck, who suddenly looked nervous.
"I don't know Ellie," Chuck said timidly, before Sarah leaned forward away from Chuck to look down at him.
"What do you play, Chuck?" Sarah asked softly, Chuck looked up at her.
"Guitar, it's in my bedroom," he said nervously, she could see that he didn't like how on the spot he was.
"He sings too!" Morgan added excitedly, obviously viewing this as a moment to be the wingman for his best friend. Sarah simply looked at Chuck in shock, she'd only known the guy for a few weeks, but it still felt like she learned something new about him all the time.
"Come on little bro, you haven't sung to me in so long," Ellie begged with a pleading smile, Chuck's resistance was wearing down, but the thought of being on display like that was still so embarrassing. Sarah watched Chuck hem and haw in the face of all the pleading from everyone else, finally she spoke softly to him.
"Please Chuck, I want to hear you sing," she wasn't trying to be manipulative; she honestly did want to hear him sing for her. Sarah could see the gears turning in his head as he looked into her sapphire orbs, eventually he gave her a soft nod. The entire room cheered excitedly, obviously more aware of Chuck's talents. Sarah hopped up off of Chuck's lap and watched him walk away to his room to retrieve his guitar. Sarah made her way to the kitchen to get a glass of water, she'd had enough to drink for the evening and she needed to drive later.
"Thank you," came Ellie's voice from behind Sarah, who looked over her shoulder and saw Ellie standing there with a small smile.
"What'd I do?" Sarah asked with a bewildered smile.
"Chuck has a beautiful voice and is a talented guitarist, but he used to play a lot for Jill, so he doesn't play much anymore." Sarah simply nodded and shrugged.
"She really did a number on your brother," Sarah mentioned quietly as she saw Chuck walk back into the living room with his guitar and a guitar pick; Ellie could see Sarah watching Chuck, so Ellie simply moved closer to Sarah and whispered.
"More than you'll know," Sarah simply nodded and the two of them made their way back to everyone else; Chuck was busy tuning his guitar real quick, he looked cute with his pick between his teeth. Once Chuck was satisfied that his guitar was tuned well enough, he turned in his chair and spoke with a small, but nervous smile.
"I'll start by saying it's been a while, so I may be a bit rusty. Considering the occasion, I thought I'd play something that was a favorite of our parents, namely our father," Chuck said before he began strumming. Ellie rejoined Devon on the couch, but Sarah simply stayed standing at the back of the room, content to be a silent observer of this mystifying man before her. He looked so shy and guarded, he acted like he had no talents, but he was constantly showing her just how special he really was.
Out in New Mexico, many long years ago
There in a shack on the desert, one night in a storm
Amid streaks of lightnin' and loud desert thunder
To a young Mexican couple, a baby was born
As Sarah heard Chuck's rich tenor voice, she couldn't believe that he was embarrassed to show off his talents, damn that Jill Roberts for hurting such a nice guy! How could anyone want to hide this talent? Chuck should be trying out for American Idol, not feeling ashamed of his talent, his voice was just so good. Now Sarah understood why everyone had wanted Chuck to sing, he was fantastic, a hidden gem, a talent to be encouraged instead of muzzled. She'd never heard this song before, but the lyrics were so good, it was a story, something you just didn't see anymore.
Just as the baby cried, thunder and lightnin' died
Moon gave its light to the world and the stars did the same
Mother and Father, both proud of the daughter
That heaven had sent them, Feleena was this baby's name
Sarah knew she'd have to look up the song, she wanted to know the story behind it, who wrote it, when it came out. Sarah had never been much into music, but she'd taken a notice just by being around Chuck and his world. Popular culture was just something everyone knew about in normal civilian life; she'd never really been in that world except for a few years in highschool, so the last few weeks had been an enlightening experience.
When she was seventeen, bothered by crazy dreams
She ran away from the shack and left them to roam
Father and Mother, both asked one another
What made her run away, what made Feleena leave home
Sarah hadn't run away from her parents at seventeen, but she'd left them both at different points in her life. She'd ran away from her mother at the age of ten and hadn't seen her again until she was twenty-three. Even now, Sarah didn't have a relationship with her mother, never would for that matter. Sarah knew that her mother had indeed asked herself what she'd done to drive Sarah away; that had made Sarah feel horrible, she'd hurt her mother so bad for so long, so many years wasted, lost forever. Sarah's relationship with her father was complicated, they were still technically in each other's life, but she couldn't rely on him for anything other than disappointment.
Tired of the desert nights, poverty, grief and strife
She ran away late one night in the moon's golden gleam
She didn't know where she'd go, but she'd get there
And she would find happiness, if she would follow her dream
Sarah had indeed run away from her old life; Director Graham had offered her a way out, he offered her a new path. At the age of sixteen, with no family, no life skills, no friends, Graham's path was salvation, so she'd accepted, not knowing exactly where he was going to take her and if she'd ultimately be okay. Her old life had been one without hope, a life that was going to end with her either working a street corner, dead in a drug den, murdered for her grifting schemes, or in and out of prison for the rest of her life. Graham had offered a path that promised to make a difference, to be one of the good guys; of course, she was a naive teenager at the time so she didn't know any better, but at the time, Graham was offering salvation.
After she ran away, she went to Sante Fe
And in the year that she stayed there, she learned about life
In just a little while, she learned that with a smile
She could have pretty clothes, she could be any man's wife
Over the next four years the old her, Samantha Lisa Burton was unmade. They buried the old her under training, new clothes, new hair, make up. They taught her how to shave her legs, fixed her teeth for good and took away her braces. They changed everything about how she walked, talked, dressed, carried herself. Sarah learned about the world, how to manipulate it, how evil it was, how to use, how to take, they'd made her into a weapon of deception. They'd taught her how to entice men, how to manipulate anybody to get what she wanted, how to use her body, to distract or to entice. The training had come with new thinking, weird ideas that seemed strange the first twenty times she'd heard them, but after hearing them one-hundred times and some sleep deprivation, she started to believe. They'd made her into the woman she was today, she was beautiful… on the outside, but they'd made sure she was ugly on the inside.
Rich men romanced her, they dined and they danced her
She understood men and she treated them all just the same
A form that was fine and rare, dark shining glossy hair
Lovely to look at Feleena was this woman's name
For years Sarah had been the best spy in the CIA, the enforcer, Graham's top agent; she'd been all over the world, seen many beautiful cities, if only just superficially. She'd been wined and dined by all sorts of despicable men; that's when she'd learned of her real place and her real purpose in the CIA. She was a tool to them, not a person; she was a means to achieve a certain result. More often than not, that meant blood and death, but it had occasionally meant sullying her soul and seducing the lowest of the low.
Restless in Sante Fe, she had to get away
To any town where the lights had a much brighter glow
One cowboy mentioned the town of El Paso
They never stopped dancin' and money like whiskey did flow
Between her time with the CATS, her time with Bryce, and Kieran Ryker's betrayal, Sarah was on the fast track to burning out. She'd been the CIA's top assassin for years, but she'd wanted more out of life. Sarah had been promised salvation, a new life; instead, she was given more servitude, more hopelessness, more loneliness, more lies. Her soul was pitch black, Samantha Burton was locked away so deep, she may as well have been a distant memory. When she'd been asked to hand an innocent, helpless, orphaned, little baby over to a monster, Sarah had felt it. Sarah had known in that moment that her actions would be her testament to life. That was why she'd betrayed her traitorous, monster of a handler and hid that little girl with her mother, thus sacrificing her last hope for a real life, such as it was.
She bought a one-way, a ticket from Sante Fe
The days and nights on a stage with a rest now and then
She didn't mind that, she knew she would find that
Her new life would be more exciting than where she had been
Sarah had thought any hope she had for a normal life had died when she'd made her mother promise to make sure the baby got all those normal things that she'd never gotten as a child. Sarah could still remember the shattered look on her mother's face as she made her mother promise her that, that child deserved to have a life, something Sarah had left behind long ago. That was, until she'd gone to Burbank and been introduced to all of these people. When her ex-partner and former lover, Bryce Larkin had sent the Intersect to a lonely nerd in Burbank California, Graham had sent his best agent to fix it.
Five weeks later, Sarah was still in Burbank, tasked with protecting that man, a kind nerd who could sing and play guitar. Sarah had no idea how long she'd be in Burbank, but the experience of living like normal people had changed her perspective on many things. She'd missed so much in her life and she wanted more than what she'd had.
Most of that was thanks to the people in this room, these wonderful people who had no idea who she really was. They were sharing an evening with a monster, a soulless killer, a woman more willing to entice warlords than actually love another person, that made her sad. She wasn't of their world, no matter how much she'd always wanted to be and she knew she never could be.
Across the room, John Casey was enjoying his assets wonderful rendition of Marty Robbins; who knew the moron had such good taste in music? Chuck was a surprising individual; he was obviously brilliantly smart, kind, and surprisingly brave for a civilian. Now Casey knew that Chuck had been concealing these hidden talents, likely because of what that college girlfriend of his had done when she'd dumped him for Larkin. Casey didn't know how anyone could hurt someone as kind as Bartowski, especially for a worm like Larkin. As Casey looked around the room, he saw his assets older sister and her boyfriend simply cuddling and enjoying the music. Morgan was watching like he was witnessing the birth of Christ, those two had a weird relationship. When Casey looked over at Sarah, standing alone in the back, he saw a woman deep in thought. She was struggling with something, it had to do with the lyrics to the song, they were making her think about something difficult.
Casey trusted his partner with his life, but he knew nothing about her life before he'd been introduced to her weeks ago. He'd heard all the rumors and stories, that she was a floozie with a tendency to sleep with her partners, which was why she was always going through partners. He'd heard that she'd been sleeping with Graham and that was why she got all the primo assignments. Casey knew better; all of that was just bullshit, made up by losers at the CIA to make her feel like an outsider, because she was better than everyone one else. No, whatever was bothering Walker about this song was from further back in her life, before she was a spy.
He had no way of knowing what her life had been like before she'd become a spy, but if the lyrics of Feleena were getting to her then she couldn't have had a very stable upbringing at a minimum. That would explain some of the things he'd seen from her recently, she looked at these people like they were from a different planet, like she'd never experienced this world before. Everyone had experienced normal life, right? How could Walker never have lived this life? It would explain why she'd taken so quickly to the nerd, why she enjoyed being around them all so much. Maybe she didn't have any family, maybe she had nothing outside of the job, maybe she'd never had a real family. Whatever it was, hearing Chuck sing this song had nearly brought his partner to tears, which he had a feeling would fall before the song ended.
The stage made its last stop, up there on the mountain top
To let her see all of the lights at the foot of the hill
Her world was brighter and deep down inside her
An uncontrolled beating, her young heart just wouldn't be still
Sarah still thought about her first meeting with Chuck, she'd expected anything but the man she'd ended up meeting. The file that the CIA had quickly made up about Chuck had painted the picture of a loser, an underachiever, a man who'd gotten by on the bare minimum in life. The file had been so wrong about him, in just two minutes he'd illuminated her dark world, his bright smile and disarming voice had relaxed her, made her feel comfortable. His kindness and generosity had been like a salve that had done much to sooth the pain from her various emotional wounds that she'd gathered over the years. She'd barely finished their first date and she already knew she'd protect him from anything, because he was innocent and deserved to live his life.
She got a hotel, a room at the Lily Belle
Quickly she changed to a form-fitting black satin dress
Ev'ry man stopped to stare, at this form fine and rare
Even the women remarked of the charm she possessed
When the spy life had caught up to her in Burbank and showed him who she really was, she'd felt that ache return to her heart. He'd learned several hard lessons about the spy life in the first few weeks. He'd had to learn just how much of what he knew about her was a lie, that he wasn't going to learn about her, that he couldn't know the real her, that he couldn't trust just anyone he met anymore. All of those lessons he'd had to learn hadn't dimmed that kindness and joy one iota and that brightened her blackened soul a little more each day.
Dancin' and laughter, was what she was after
And Rosa's Cantina had lights, with love in the gleam
That's what she hunted and that's what she wanted
Rosa's was one place, a nice girl would never be seen
Chuck and his entire eclectic circle of family and friends had gladly welcomed Sarah into their lives like they'd known her for years, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Sarah had never lived in a place where that was a thing, where trust was just something that was natural. They'd welcomed her into their lives and let her into their most personal days, such as this. Mother's Day, a day to celebrate the day that Chuck and Ellie had to grow up too soon and learn how to rely on each other, because they couldn't really rely on anyone else. Chuck had let her see everything that was him, he'd been an open book and she'd reveled in that feeling of acceptance. Sarah had never enjoyed an assignment as much as she did this one.
This assignment, which should have been the most boring assignment ever, had turned into her favorite place on earth, the best five weeks of her life. Regardless of how this all ended, she'd be able to look back on this and remember how great it felt to be a part of a family, if only tangentially.
It was the same way, it was back in Sante Fe
Men would make fools of themselves at the thought of romance
Rosa took heed of, the place was in need of
This kind of excitement, so she paid Feleena to dance
No matter how much Sarah enjoyed the moments of normalcy, she still had a job to do; those moments were still a drag on her soul. She still had to kill, still had to deceive, still had to be the enforcer. No matter how different this assignment felt, it was still an assignment, none of it was real. Regardless of that morbid thought, she knew that Chuck needed her in order to survive. Sarah had a feeling her superiors hadn't learned that yet, but as time went on, they'd see that Chuck needed her as a sounding board as much as a guardian. They'd taken his sister away in that regard, so he needed someone to talk to him.
A year passed and maybe more and then through the swingin' doors
Came a young cowboy so tall and so handsomely dressed
This one was new in town, hadn't been seen around
He was so different, he wasn't like all of the rest
Chuck was unlike any man Sarah had ever met in her life, a kind and gentle soul in a world that had no room for such qualities. He made her feel special, wanted, he made her feel like a normal girl, like a sophisticated woman instead of a cheap whore like so many others had before him. Sarah had only known this man for a few weeks, but he'd changed things nonetheless; he'd shown her what she was worthy of, that she was worthy of being treated like an actual person. Regardless of how long this assignment lasted, Sarah knew that he'd changed things for her, he'd made her feel things, made her experience things that she'd never experienced. She was still a human being, she was still allowed to enjoy being a human being, a real person, even if only for a moment. She knew these feelings were dangerous to an agent, but she was feeling them nonetheless.
Feleena danced close to him, then threw a rose to him
Quickly he walked to her table and there he sat down
And in a day or so, wherever folks would go
They'd see this young cowboy, showin' Feleena the town
A part of Sarah knew that Chuck was falling in love with her, he had real feelings for her, feelings that were not good for him. That being said, Sarah couldn't deny how good his affection felt. She enjoyed spending time with Chuck, enjoyed being around him, she could feel the connection too, even though she knew she didn't have feelings for her asset, she couldn't have feelings for her asset. Much like the couple in the song, they were a couple that was doomed. They could go out on the town and enjoy their time together, but they were of two different worlds.
Six weeks he went with her, each minute spent with her
But he was insanely jealous of glances she'd give
Inside he was a-hurtin', from all of her flirtin'
That was her nature and that was the way that she lived
Her job would always stand in the way of any possible future she could have with a man like Chuck Bartowski; could a civilian like him handle the job she had to do? Sarah had a feeling that Chuck would be the jealous type, not in a bad way so much, but she had a suspicion that he'd be green with envy every time she had to go get close to some guy for an assignment. How could their relationship survive a strain like that, even if she did have mutual feelings; which they didn't, because she couldn't have feelings for him. Even if they could, her life wasn't one that had room in it for good people like Chuck.
Sarah could feel the tears well up in her eyes as she heard the story unfolding in song form, too close to home, too familiar to her. His voice was beautiful and his strumming was perfect; Chuck had a hidden talent, something he should do all the time. How could Jill have hurt this man, how could she have chosen Bryce over Chuck, especially how she did, which destroyed poor Chuck. It was almost like she'd dumped him when she knew it would do the most damage, to ensure he never loved again. Well, Sarah knew that skank had almost succeeded, but Chuck was indeed in love; he hadn't said it yet, but he was falling for Sarah, hard. They were doomed, but Sarah couldn't break his heart, he was too good a guy, he'd been hurt too many times in his life already.
Maybe Sarah could help him, rebuild his confidence; help Chuck regain that part of himself that Jill had taken from him. Sarah enjoyed his affection and Chuck needed the confidence. Their relationship may be doomed, but until the end came, Sarah wasn't going to be the one to break their hearts.
She flirted one night, it started a gun-fight
And after the smoke cleared away, on the floor lay a man
Feleena's young lover, had shot down another
And he had to leave there, so out through the back door he ran
Sarah knew that their possible romance was indeed doomed, just like Feleena and the Cowboy. There would always be something from her job that would come between her and a guy like Chuck, she'd always have to choose who got her attention; that was no way to live and no way to be in a relationship, assuming she had feelings like that. There would be something, a mission perhaps that would be too much for a guy like Chuck; there would be one mission that he just couldn't stomach and she'd have to choose. Could she make a choice like that though? Sarah had never had anything but a life of lies and deception, could she give that up for this? Sarah didn't think she could and it made her sad; Sarah had always secretly yearned for a life like this, but she couldn't live this life, she wasn't capable of living this life. A lone tear streaked down Sarah's cheek at that thought.
The next day at five o'clock, she heard a rifle shot
Quickly she ran to the door, that was facin' the pass
She saw her cowboy, her wild-ridin' cowboy
Low in the saddle, her cowboy was ridin' in fast
Sarah knew that Chuck would always be there though, that was just the kind of person he was, he was a hero; Chuck would be there for her when she needed him. No matter how much the life she lived took from him, he'd be there to support her, because he was that kind of person. Sarah didn't deserve that kind of loyalty from a man as great as Chuck Bartowski, but he'd give it to her anyways, she knew.
She ran to meet him, to kiss and to greet him
He saw her and motioned her back, with a wave of his hand
Bullets were flyin', Feleena was cryin'
As she saw him fall from the saddle and into the sand
He was such a hero; he'd already saved her life multiple times in the last few weeks; that was just the person he was. Sarah knew that he'd always be there trying to save her, he'd never be able to walk away and let her get hurt, he'd kill himself trying to save her. That was always going to be the problem, he didn't care about his own safety, just the safety of those around him. Chuck would always try to save her, she knew that about him; he had already tried to get to know her, to understand her better. The temptation was there to let him in, but the more she let him in, the higher likelihood he had of risking his life for her when it was her life that was expendable for his. She knew Chuck would violently disagree, but that was the truth of their doomed romance, she was expendable, disposable, easily replaceable, he wasn't.
Feleena knelt near him, to hold and to hear him
When she felt the warm blood that flowed from the wound in his side
He raised to kiss her and she heard him whisper
"Never forget me - Feleena it's over, goodbye."
Sarah had no doubt that Chuck would die to save her or Casey for that matter, but especially her. She could see it now, having to cradle his head in her hands as his life slipped away; she'd ask him why he did it, and he'd just say that he needed to make sure she was safe. Sarah wasn't worthy of that kind of devotion, but she could already tell she drew that out of Chuck, even after only a few weeks.
Quickly she grabbed for, the six-gun that he wore
And screamin' in anger and placin' the gun to her breast
Bury us both deep and maybe we'll find peace
And pullin' the trigger, she fell 'cross the dead cowboy's chest
She knew she'd do the same for him though, she'd gladly give her life for him; she'd gladly sacrifice herself if it meant he got to live his life and be happy. Chuck Bartowski deserved that much more than Sarah Walker did. The scary truth was, Sarah didn't know what she'd do if he died for her; could she go on after that? Could she go on after a good man gave his life for her? She wasn't worthy of that kind of sacrifice; could she keep on working for the agency after something like that? Ultimately their relationship, such as it was, was doomed. Maybe in another life they could have been happy together; Sarah knew she could spend a lifetime with a man like Chuck Bartowski, but she couldn't have feelings like that, she didn't. Their future was a nonexistent one, just like Feleena and the Cowboy's, just a fantasy, a sad story in the wind and nothing more.
Out in El Paso, whenever the wind blows
If you listen closely at night, you'll hear in the wind
A woman is cryin', it's not the wind sighin'
Old timer's tell you, Feleena is callin' for him
The song was so sad, so tragic, the story of a girl looking for a better life out in the world. The girl did find that better life and even love, such as it was, but it was doomed. She'd found love in a young cowboy and she'd died to be with him in the afterlife. If that wasn't a beautiful story, Sarah didn't know what was. For Sarah, she knew that her story would be similar, she wasn't of their world no matter how much she wished she was, she'd never had the chance to find a normal life. She'd searched her entire life for this moment right here, but now that she'd found it, she knew it was all a fantasy. Eventually this assignment would come to an end and she'd leave these people; they'd forget about her, Chuck would forget about her, she'd just be a distant memory to them. She could do this for another twenty years and in the end, there would be nobody to remember her, nobody to mourn her, she was a ghost, just a shadow, and that was all she'd ever be. No matter how long she was in Burbank, Sarah was going to cherish the time she had with these people, she was going to make as many memories as she could, before it was all over. Sarah would make enough memories of the time she was just a normal girl, so that when she was alone in another hotel room, in another country, she could remember this feeling of belonging she felt tonight.
You'll hear them talkin' and you'll hear them walkin'
You'll hear them laugh and you'll look, but there's no one around
Don't be alarmed - there is really no harm there
It's only the young cowboy, showin' Feleena the town
As Chuck finished singing, the group clapped for him, he simply smiled a small smile and nodded bashfully; when he looked up to see what Sarah thought, he didn't see her. Chuck looked around the room and saw her disappearing down the hallway quickly. Ellie followed Chuck's eyes and saw what looked like an exceedingly emotional Sarah disappear into Chuck's bedroom.
"I knew you still had it dude," Morgan said excitedly as he approached Chuck who simply smiled distractedly at Morgan as he wondered about Sarah.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it buddy," Chuck said as he spotted Casey walking towards him with what looked like pride on his face.
"Impressive Bartowski," Casey said as he extended his hand towards Chuck, who shook it.
"Thanks Casey," Chuck said back to him.
"My father loved listening to Marty Robbins, great to see people still know about proper musicians like him," Chuck simply nodded in agreement.
"I couldn't agree more, big guy; it's important to remember artists like him," Casey simply nodded and went to go mingle. Next it was Ellie and Devon who spoke to Chuck, Ellie spoke first, with an excited squeal and a smile on her face.
"Oh my gosh, little bro that was wonderful!" Ellie said as she pulled Chuck into a powerful hug that Chuck reciprocated with his free hand, the one that wasn't holding his guitar. When the two of them pulled apart, Devon spoke next with his own beaming smile on his face.
"Awesome job Chuck, you really should play more," Chuck nodded, he knew Devon was right. Chuck used to love playing his guitar before Jill had dumped him, he really should get back into it.
"I really should, but right now I should go check on Sarah," Chuck said as he looked at the hallway and his bedroom; Ellie nodded as she looked over her shoulder at his bedroom. When Ellie turned back towards Chuck, her face had a hint of worry.
"Yeah, I don't know what that's about, but you should probably go check on her," Chuck simply nodded and gripped his guitar a little tighter, as if that would steady him.
"Definitely take the guitar bro, chicks dig the guitar," Devon said enthusiastically, which simply made Chuck laugh and relax.
"Thanks for the tip Devon, I'll take it under advisement," Chuck said with a wry smile as he walked past them, towards his bedroom; as Chuck got close to his room, he heard Sarah's quiet sniffles. Chuck was conflicted, this was obviously a seriously private moment for Sarah, but she was in his bedroom with the door open, so what was that signaling? Chuck took a quiet breath and gently tapped on the door to grab her attention; in a flash, Sarah was sitting up straight and trying to hide the fact that she had been crying.
"Sarah?" Chuck called quietly from the door; there was a hesitant pause from Sarah before she half turned and spoke in a stunted tone.
"What is it?" Chuck took a half step into the room and closed the door behind him to give them some privacy.
"Are you alright?" he asked softly, obviously treading lightly, after the previous times he'd tried to learn about her past.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Sarah said a bit too cheerily, which Chuck saw through surprisingly easily; Chuck slowly made his way toward the bed, where she was sitting facing the Morgan Door. As she watched him cautiously set his guitar down on his bed and sit down next to her, albeit with a healthy foot between them, she had to smile at how attuned into her emotions he was after only a few weeks.
"Listen Sarah, I'm not going to press; I'm just saying, if something is wrong, you can tell me." Sarah had to smile at her asset, he was such a nice man.
"Just bad memories, from a long time ago," Sarah said cryptically as she wiped at her eye once again; she'd shared something, even if it was vague, so Chuck took it as a win.
"You want to talk about it?" He offered; Sarah simply smiled at him and shook her head no.
"You know I can't tell you Chuck," Sarah said honestly, they'd had this conversation not too many days ago so it was still fresh, Chuck simply nodded in understanding.
"Well as your personal baggage handler, when you are finally able to tell me, I'll be right here ready to listen," he said with a calming smile, he was too good for her, they might be doomed from the start, but she could do much worse than him, couldn't do much better to be honest.
"Thank you Chuck, I'll keep that in mind," she said with a small smile on her face; Sarah looked over her shoulder at the guitar and smiled at it before reaching back to grab it. Sarah looked at the old, worn out guitar; it looked like it had been around the block, passed down from prior generations.
"Can you tell me about this guitar?" Sarah asked with a smile as she admired all the marks and scratches on the wood. Chuck simply nodded with a smile on his face as he watched her admire the guitar.
"My father bought that for my mother in nineteen eighty, for her birthday; my mother loved music, so she'd often play for us. My mother couldn't sing worth a nickel, but my father could, so she'd play guitar and he'd sing to us whenever they were both actually home." The way Chuck spoke those words, told Sarah a lot about his upbringing. "Over the years, my mother had started to teach me how to play guitar before she left; once she left us, my father learned how to play so that he could finish teaching me in her stead. I didn't want to continue, but he told me that I should learn to play as a way to remember the good times." Sarah swallowed the emotion in her throat as she heard the emotion in Chuck's voice.
"It sounds like he was a good father, all things considered," Sarah said, acknowledging the obvious; Chuck simply nodded.
"He was at first, as the years without my mother went on and on, he just withdrew more and more until he left in ninety-eight, said he was going to the store to get stuff to make pancakes." Sarah simply nodded silently and swallowed that damn emotion that was still in her throat. She knew exactly what he was feeling and she wanted to say as much, but she couldn't, so she didn't.
"What was that song you sang?" Sarah asked Chuck as she looked to her right, at him; Chuck simply nodded and spoke.
"That song was called Feleena, it was written and performed by country singer Marty Robbins on his nineteen sixty-six country album, The Drifter. The song itself is actually a sequel to another song of his." Sarah gave him a curious look, Chuck simply nodded and continued. "In nineteen fifty-nine, Robbins released a country album titled Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs. On that album, he included a song called El Paso; the song is a first-person story about a cowboy who falls in with a pretty Mexican girl named Feleena and the gets in trouble before ultimately riding back into El Paso to see her and dieing in her arms moments after saying, Feleena goodbye." Sarah simply nodded in understanding.
"So Feleena was the same story, but from Feleena's point of view?" Chuck simply nodded.
"There is a third song in the trilogy called El Paso City about a man telling the story as if it were a legend from long ago." Sarah simply nodded.
"So why Feleena, why play that song, if you don't mind me asking?" Sarah asked, she saw Chuck get quiet for a moment as he no doubt thought about the past, about his parents.
"My father always loved the old cowboy country songs, especially Marty Robbins. Feleena was his favorite song, he always said it reminded him of my mother, I never understood how, but apparently it did." Sarah nodded as the two of them sat silently. What must his mother have been like if Feleena reminded his father of her? Feleena was a wild woman, who liked to flirt; unless she was like Sarah, but that was a coincidence that was too preposterous to contemplate. Maybe that was what the Bartowski men fell for, they liked the wild women that tore their hearts out. Sarah looked down at the guitar and saw a carving in the side, that looked to have been carved by a knife some time ago.
FROM YOUR COWBOY WITH LOVE
Sarah simply smiled a small smile, apparently that was the fate of the Bartowski men, doomed love. Sarah looked over at Chuck and saw him simply looking at her with a soft smile on his face. She could see how she'd love him in another life, in another time; she didn't love him, but he was the kind of man she could love in another life. Regardless of how doomed they were, she was going to enjoy however much time they had left before it all came to an end, because life was fleeting and there was no use dwelling on the darkness while in the presence of the light.
"You have a beautiful voice Chuck," Sarah said softly with a small smile on her face; she saw Chuck blush and look away bashfully.
"I'm okay," he said, once again downplaying his talents.
"No, you're better than okay Chuck. I know what Jill did to you hurt and has left a scar, but don't let her take this away from you, because she's not worth it." Sarah said insistently, she wasn't going to let Chuck minimize his talents anymore, he had a gift. Chuck gave her a grateful smile and nodded silently. There wasn't much else to say between the two of them, so they sat in comfortable silence. Out in the hallway, Ellie had her ear pressed against the door to listen in. Morgan and John had left minutes ago and Devon was cleaning up. Ellie needed to know what was going on. What she heard told her that although Chuck and Sarah were still in the early stages of their relationship, they'd get there eventually. Ellie had no doubt that those two were soulmates, they both filled a hole in the others heart that they didn't even know they had. Ellie simply pulled away from the door and smiled to herself, her brother had finally found one of the good ones and it would appear that the woman he'd found, needed him just as much.
Ellie simply walked back down the hallway towards the kitchen; when Devon came into view, he gave her a smile and quickly captured her in his arms to give her a kiss and a tender embrace.
"Everything okay, back there?" Devon asked softly, to Ellie who simply nodded and spoke softly.
"Yeah, the song got her thinking about her past; nothing Chuck can't handle." Devon simply nodded as the two of them rocked back and forth in the middle of the kitchen.
"Those two are good for each other," Devon said quietly, something Ellie wholeheartedly agreed with; Ellie simply nodded.
"Yes, they are," Ellie said softly as her eyes closed contently.
"I'm proud of you babe, raised him right," Devon said before he kissed the top of his girlfriend's head.
"Somebody had to do it," Ellie said as she remembered how hard things were for so long. So many nights were spent wondering where the food would come from, where they'd find the money, but they'd gotten through it together. Now, Chuck had found a new woman, someone who loved him just as much as Ellie did, even if she didn't realize it yet.
The End
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #3: Well there we have it, a nice little canon compatible song fic one shot, I don't do many of those; I tried really hard to keep this one canon compatible so Sarah's still trying to deny her heart and doesn't really know that she's in love yet. Regardless, this story was one of the easiest times i've ever head writing a story, it was just so fun. If you haven't read MarkeyDeSad's "Ends in San Pedro" you should go read it, it's only 620 words so it's no a long read. Every one of you should go listen to the song's "El Paso" and "Feleena (From El Paso)" by Marty Robbins, both are some of the best country songs i've ever heard, they're from an era of music where musical storytelling was still a thing.
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #4: So what did you think? Loved it, hated it, let me know with a review! Your feedback is the only way I can tell if i'm doing a good job, so please consider leaving me a review and sharing your thoughts.
Until Next Time :D