CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #1: Welcome back everyone, time for another chapter of Never Again! In this chapter we move the plot along a teeny tiny bit and learn exactly what Project Sapphire is. This chapter focuses more on Chuck and Sarah than it does plot, but I think this chapter will satisfy a lot of people. The super dark parts of this story are largely in the past so expect things top gradually get lighter form here as CHuck's recovery begins to take shape.
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #2: While I have everyone here I'd like to do a state of the union so to speak about the standing of all of my fic's, if only to shed some light on my plans and clear the air. So firstly, I've got big things brewing for Contrition, including full rewrites of the first two chapters and a tweak of the rest of it to fix the utterly broken timeline of events lol. I've also got another full chapter for Contrition that is almost ready for beta! I'd expect all of that in the next few weeks. I've been supremely busy this month (which is nice after the long drag of the shutdown) so i'm still working on Desire chapter six, I want to make it the best it can be so i'm not rushing it to meet my end of May deadline. I doubt i'll finish the story by the end of may, but if I find the damn time then I should be able to finish chapter six (big if). I figured you'd all forgive me for not finishing Desire chapter six yet because I was working on Contrition, but we'll just have to see lol. On an unrelated note, I've got an M rated story that's almost completely in the can, I've been working on it for over a year now off an on, even before I came back to Chuck fan fiction! It's almost 40,000 words long and is ten chapters! I don't know if there's any demand for that sort of thing anymore, but it's something I used to do before I returned to Chuck fan fiction last year, so it's really where I first honed my craft so to speak. My long term goal right now is to update Contrition with a new chapter AND the rewrites and fixes to the timeline (which will happen simultaneously). After that i'd like to finish Desire up so I can focus on Never Again, which I still haven't totally figured out what I'm going to do with (length, tone, number of chapters, etc.) In the long, long, long, long term, I've got a racing AU story that I'm developing for May of 2023 that may just be my magnum opus. All I'll say about it is that Racing is my first "true passion" in life and that I know so much about the world of motorsport that i'll be able to craft a rich, deeply real world to drop our favorite characters in. For the time being let's just call the racing story "Untitled Sarah Walker Racing Story" I know the title, but that's for me to know and you to find out in two years :P Okay that's all i've got on the present standing of all my stories, now onto the second chapter of Never Again!
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #3: Once again Nev was my beta and once again he did a great job; he's getting better and better at that, which is good news for me, because I suck lol.
Never Again
A Story by CharmingCharles2896
Chapter Two:
Leaving On A Jet Plane
For two and a half months, Chuck rested up and healed his wounds in that covert facility. They were kind enough to move him to one of their nicer accommodations, once it was clear he wasn't in danger of dieing or anything like that. Once the staff realized that Agent Walker wasn't going to be swayed from her insistence that she be there at all times for Chuck's protection, they rolled a bed into Chuck's room for Sarah to sleep on. Two weeks after the rescue, Casey disappeared off to Washington DC, all he'd told Sarah was that he'd needed to take care of some things. Since then, she hadn't seen him, but she had heard from General Beckman and Director Graham that Casey was off securing the cover and seeing to the preparation for Chuck's next phase of recovery, whatever that meant. She'd heard the line they were giving Ellie about Chuck's whereabouts and while she didn't like it, at least they hadn't told Ellie that he was dead or something like that.
Once it was deemed that Chuck's physical condition was back to normal, the two of them were briefed by the General and Director about the next phase in Chuck's recovery. The place was called Project Sapphire, and as Chuck's flash had said, the place had been set up specifically for rehabbing high value assets and agents, who also needed to be hidden in plain sight. As Sarah understood it, her superiors were recognizing that Chuck wouldn't cope well with a bunker, but needed a safe and controlled environment that was away from Burbank for Chuck to recover in. The property that Project Sapphire entailed was located just outside of a small Nebraska town called Valentine. The entire property was a large swath of wooded land with a modern house on it. The property was snaked with walking and hiking trails that were all well within a secure but unseen perimeter.
The house itself was a three-bedroom, ranch style home, with all the usual comforts of home. Town was just a few minutes down the road so access was quick and easy, but there was still privacy.
Getting Chuck from the covert medical facility to the private jet tarmac of Hollywood Burbank Airport had been a more challenging task than originally anticipated. Chuck's fear had proven to be a far greater obstacle than originally anticipated and the armed escort that was to drive both Chuck and Sarah to the airport quickly grew impatient, much to Sarah's anger.
"Would you two just go fuck off to somewhere else, and let me help my guy, please?" Sarah said finally to the two men who quickly backed off; they both knew of Sarah's reputation and had heard of what she'd done to the two agents who'd captured her asset, so they had no desire to get on her bad side. This entire situation was a cluster fuck and a half; the move to the car was supposed to be lightning fast. They were exposed and out in the open right now, so they needed to hurry into the car, but she knew she couldn't push Chuck too much in his current state. His current circle of trust was very small and to be left out of that now would be devastating to the blonde CIA agent. As she saw both of the men back off, she gave them an appreciative nod and turned back to Chuck, who was still sitting in the wheel chair they'd used to wheel him out of the building as was facility policy. She could see the abject terror in his eyes and it broke her heart. Sarah crouched down onto her haunches and put her hands on both of his knees comfortingly.
"Chuck, look at me," Chuck's eyes darted to her own as his rapid breathing continued; Sarah simply gave Chuck an understanding half smile and nodded to him. "It's okay to be scared, these men aren't going to hurt you; these men are here to take us to the airport so we can fly to the house the General told us about." Sarah said softly to Chuck who was simply hanging on every word she said, Chuck simply nodded and spoke.
"Can't trust them, they could betray us, hurt me again," Chuck said in a stilted voice as he eyed the two men wearily; Sarah simply nodded and looked at them over her shoulder as they stood twenty or so paces behind her at the SUV. Sarah looked back to Chuck and simply nodded.
"They aren't going to hurt you Sweetie, I promise I won't let that ever happen again," Sarah said, trying to assure her asset that there was no danger; Chuck simply shook his head no adamantly and muttered under his breath.
"Guns, gonna shoot us, can't trust them!" Chuck hissed as he eyed the MP5's slung over their shoulders that hung loosely at their sides. Sarah turned and looked at the two of them again and an idea popped into her head, it was a stupid idea, but an idea no less.
Sarah turned back to Chuck and asked him a question, "If I get them to give up their guns, will you get in the car?" Chuck looked over her shoulder once again at the two men and then back to Sarah and simply nodded; Sarah released a sigh of relief and gave Chuck a smile. Sarah gave Chuck a gentle pat on the leg and stood up, she walked over to the two men and spoke to them in hushed tones.
"Listen guys, I know this defeats the whole purpose of having an armed escort, but he's having trouble trusting you two, so I'm going to need your MP5's and your sidearms." They gave her an affronted look like she was crazy. "Don't take it personally, I think you two remind him of some other people and he's having trouble; I know you both have backup pieces under your seats so you'll still be armed, but I'm going to need the guns you've got on your person." Sarah said as nicely as she possibly could; the two agents looked at each other and then at her before nodding and taking them off. The two agents handed Sarah their guns, which she quickly tossed into the back, on top of the bags already packed into the trunk. Sarah looked over at Chuck and saw him visibly relax, if only slightly; this was the moment that Sarah realized that his recovery was going to be a long and bumpy road. Sarah turned to the two agents and mouthed thank you before returning to Chuck's side to help him into the SUV.
Every second of the drive to the airport was a moment of pure terror for Chuck, the world was so big, filled with so many people, filled with so much danger! It was the middle of the night and the streets were empty, but Chuck was trembling in terror. Sarah had to hold him the entire car ride to the tarmac, his head buried in the imagined safety of her shoulder. Every bump in the road elicited a hitch in his breath, a signal of his fear; every time it happened, Sarah felt her heart break just a little bit more. Chuck didn't deserve to have such fear gripping him, he didn't deserve the pain, the nightmares, he didn't deserve this. Chuck deserved to be at home with his family, he deserved to be playing video games with his nerdy best friend Morgan, he deserved the right to be in love with a CIA Agent.
When Sarah saw the special gate for government personnel, she spotted a very specific person waiting for them next to the plane. As their car came to a stop Sarah spotted the all-female crew from the plane approach the car. Sarah had been very specific to the General that Chuck had a considerable amount of trouble with men at the moment and he'd likely have to be sedated if he had to be in an enclosed space with a man he didn't trust. The General had seen Sarah's point and promised only women on the plane, including the pilots. Somehow, someone in the chain of command had messed something up, because they'd had male escorts to the airport, which Sarah knew was NOT the General's doing. General Beckman was a lot of things, she was cold, calculating, domineering, and even rather clueless from time to time, but what General Beckman was not, was cruel. General Diane Beckman was a woman of honor, a person who judged people on the contents of their character and tried to make informed decisions whenever she could. General Beckman trusted those in her inner circle and never disregarded the advice of those she trusted. Sarah knew General Beckman wouldn't disregard her guidance on Chuck's care after everything that had happened, Sarah had earned the right to be demanding about it.
When the door opened, the crew came and got Chuck and helped him to the plane before grabbing their bags and loading them on the plane as well. As the crew was loading the plane, Sarah made her way over to the General and saluted her.
"Evening General," Sarah said as General Beckman saluted her and then turned back to watch the crew load and prepare the plane.
"Good evening Agent Walker," General Beckman said solemnly, she'd hoped to meet Agent Walker in person under better circumstances. "I wish we'd have met in person for the first time under better circumstances." Sarah nodded in agreement.
"Me too General, but sadly we are here," Sarah said as she watched the crew close up the luggage compartment.
"Listen Agent Walker," Sarah turned her head to look at the General. "Under normal circumstances the flight would be no longer than three hours, but to keep the location of Project Sapphire a secret from ground observers, your flight is going to make several diversionary trips along the way before finally arriving in Lincoln. Once on the ground in Lincoln, you'll be met by a woman who will hand you the keys to a grey pick up truck. Inside the truck will be a map that will show you how to get to Project Sapphire." Sarah simply nodded while she scratched an inch on the back of her head.
"How long do you estimate the flight will be?" Sarah asked, General Beckman thought for a moment before answering honestly.
"Likely eight or nine hours," Sarah visibly gaped at that; they were going to turn a three-hour flight into an eight-hour flight? "I know it's a raw deal, but the both of you are too important to take any chances," Sarah simply nodded to the General.
"I didn't think I was that highly regarded General," Sarah said honestly to the short, but imposing General, who simply nodded.
We were wrong about you, I was wrong about you," The General's words floored Sarah, she'd never heard he General speak like this.
"Thank you for being honest General," Sarah said as she heard the engines begin to spool up, it was time to leave. General Beckman simply nodded and watched Sarah turn to leave; before the blonde CIA agent got too far away, General Beckman spoke up once again over the rushing winds and the spooling engines.
"Agent Walker," General Beckman said as the wind blew her hair around wildly; Sarah turned to the General and squinted into the wind.
"Yes General?" Sarah yelled back to her over the sound of the spooling jet engines.
"This isn't your fault," General Beckman said to the shock of Sarah, whose face said as much. "You're the only one who can help him now," Sarah nodded silently at the General's words. "Good luck," General Beckman said as she extended her hand to Sarah who shook it and gave the General a nod.
"Thank you, General," Sarah said before she backed away, bowed her head slightly to her superior and then turned to jog over to the boarding stairs. General Beckman watched Sarah climb the stairs and board the jet bound for Nebraska, bound for a date with destiny. Once Sarah had boarded the plane, the boarding stairs were pulled away from the jet and it quickly taxied away towards the runway. General Beckman simply stood there resolutely, with her chief of staff standing five paces or so to her right silently; the cold night and howling winds the only thing keeping the General company as she watched the jet take off. As the government jet flew off into the horizon, General Beckman couldn't help but hope that those two would be okay when all this was over. The events from two months prior had been a disaster, but the fallout had been far worse; Agent Walker was a guilt-ridden shell of her former self. She blamed herself for not keeping him out of Fulcrum's hands, even though the situation she was in was hopeless. Mr. Bartowski was broken, there was a glimmer of hope that they might be able to fix all of this, but the trauma of what he went through loomed large in all their minds. It would seem that the last great hope for Team Intersect rested in the hands of Agent Sarah Walker. The question is, was Agent Walker going to be able to forgive herself enough to help the man that she was so obviously fond of?
"Good luck Sarah, you're going to need it," General Beckman mused as the jet disappeared into the darkness.
On the private CIA chartered jet, Sarah was sitting on a couch simply watching the man she loved. He was sitting in one of the rows of standard airplane seating instead of the more comfortable chairs and couches throughout the cabin. She could see him no problem so she didn't feel the need to crowd him the entire flight, especially if this was going to be an eight-hour flight. He was over there alone, simply brooding, his head clouded with darkness. She hoped one day that she would be able to bring the joy back into his mind, reawaken the light in his soul that brightened all others around him. Sarah had to chuckle as she watched Chuck let out a massive yawn that would rival any lion or tiger on Animal Planet; it was late and they had a long flight ahead of them so maybe some sleep might do them some good. Sarah saw one of the flight attendants walking towards the front of the plane, so she reached out and grabbed her arm to get her attention. The flight attendant, who's nametag said "Cheryl" turned and looked at Sarah who spoke to her quietly.
"Is there a bed on this plane by any chance?" Sarah asked quietly, Cheryl gave Sarah a small smile and nodded.
"Yes, through those doors in the back," Sarah nodded thankfully to the flight attendant and watched her walk up towards the cabin. After a short moment, Sarah stood up and walked over to Chuck; when she got over to him, he didn't notice her at first, but eventually he turned his head and gave her a small, albeit forced smile.
"Hey Sarah," Chuck said quietly, Sarah gave Chuck a knowing smile and mouthed hey.
"How're you doing?" Sarah asked as she crouched down and leaned on the arm rest of Chuck's seat; he had a pensive, bordering on embarrassed look on his face. She knew Chuck hated how weak and afraid he was these days, at least to his own mind; it was one of those masculine things that even Chuck had to deal with in the back of his mind, he was still a man after all. Chuck simply shrugged and looked away, which told Sarah all she needed to know about how he was feeling.
"Look at me," Sarah said as she reached out and turned his head so he was looking at her. "It's okay that you're afraid, don't ever be ashamed to admit that you're afraid, I can't help you if I don't know what you're feeling Chuck," Sarah said insistently, telling Chuck everything with her eyes; she needed him to see what she was telling him, she needed him to understand. Chuck simply sighed in resignation and nodded to Sarah who gave him a thoughtful smile and stood back up. Sarah simply motioned for him to follow her; Chuck nodded silently and got up to follow. Sarah led the two of them to the back of the plane to a set of double doors. Sarah pushed open the doors to reveal a moderately sized sleep compartment with a queen-sized bed in it. Sarah reached into the room and found one of the two light switches that controlled the overhead dome light. Chuck simply gave Sarah a confused look, so Sarah motioned with her head for Chuck to go in. Chuck walked into the sleep compartment and Sarah followed after him, closing the doors behind them. Once they were alone Sarah turned back to Chuck and spoke with an honest expression on her face.
"General Beckman told me that our flight is likely going to be around eight hours," upon seeing Chuck's shocked look, Sarah simply nodded. "Apparently we're going to run some diversionary flight plans to divert suspicion away from our real whereabouts." Chuck simply nodded in understanding and looked at the bed once again.
"Neither of us has slept on anything better than a hospital mattress in the last two and a half months, so I figured it might do us both some good to get some sleep while we have the chance," Sarah said honestly; Chuck simply nodded with a small, but appreciative smile.
"It is late, and who knows how long it'll be before we get another chance to sleep," Chuck said as he looked at the bed, Sarah simply nodded. With that agreed upon, the two of them drew down the bed and got down to clothes that were more comfortable; for Chuck that meant his undershirt and his boxers. For Sarah that meant her bra and panties; Sarah saw the deer in the head lights look on Chuck's face and had to smile.
"If it's too much I can put my shirt back on," Sarah said with a hint of a chuckle as she saw how much Chuck was struggling not to stare. Chuck shook his head and blushed a brilliant crimson color.
"No, you're fine; I just forgot how stunning you are," Chuck said as he looked away and finally got into the bed; Sarah simply beamed at Chuck and climbed in next to him. It was encouraging to Sarah that she could still affect him like this; that meant he was still in there, he was still the same Chuck, he just needed some TLC to get better.
After they were both in bed, Sarah reached up and hit the light switch for the dome light and bathed the room in darkness. She could practically hear Chuck's nervousness and while she found it kind of funny and oh so charming, she wanted to set his mind at ease. She didn't know where it came from, but in a flash, Sarah turned over and snuggled up close against Chuck. She snuggled into the crook of his neck and simply breathed in his scent. Sarah couldn't help but sigh in contentment as every muscle in her body relaxed at once.
"I've wanted to do this for months," Sarah murmured, Chuck simply gave Sarah a shocked look, not that she could see it anyway.
"Really?" Sarah simply nodded into Chuck's chest and breathed in his scent once again; she'd missed him so much, even as she'd been sharing the same room as him at the medical facility.
"I'd hoped to do this the night we'd slept together for the cover, but that didn't go nearly as well as I'd hoped." Sarah said matter-of-factly, which made Chuck chuckle. "I wore that for your benefit you know?" Sarah said matter-of-factly once again, this time she felt Chuck tense in shock.
"Really?"
"Of course, you were having such a tough time with everything and you were always so nice to me, so I just thought you'd enjoy it. Sadly, we were in a weird place that night so my intent was missed," Sarah said with a sigh, Chuck simply shook his head.
"God, our lives are fucked up," Chuck said, with an uncharacteristically angry tone; Sarah got up onto her arms and looked Chuck in the eye, he was obviously mad about something.
"What's wrong?"
"We're in love, but we can't even do nice things for each other without worrying if we'll get in trouble. In a normal relationship, what you did would have been awesome, but it was just another thing that strained our already tense relationship at the time. I can't just buy my girlfriend flowers, because it would look unprofessional; I can't even try and get to know you. I love you, but I'm not allowed to love you; at the same time, I'm also not allowed to not love you, not that I would ever stop loving you, you're amazing."
"Chuck you're spiraling," Sarah interjected to stop him before his brain overheated, Chuck simply nodded and stopped talking; Sarah simply sighed dejectedly and spoke to Chuck. "I know it's hard for you Chuck, believe me, it's hard for me too; I've never felt like this before and it scares me to death, but I don't want to lose this. All those things you say that you want, I want all of that too, but what you're giving me now is already so much more than I've ever had. One day we'll be able to be real and get to know each other; we'll be able to do all those things and share all those moments I know you dream of. Right now, we need to focus on healing so we can have that future, I want that future Chuck, but I need you to be in it." Sarah's words shook Chuck to his core and he had a hard time believing that she really meant what she was suggesting.
"Do you really think we can have that future after all that's happened? I mean I'm so… I'm just not…" Chuck trailed off, unable to verbalize what he was feeling, but conveying the feeling nonetheless.
"Yes I do, because I made a promise," Sarah said with an unflinching resolve.
"With who?"
"When you were first brought into the facility for medical help, they had you sedated so you could get some rest. When I arrived, I was a wreck, I'd… done things to get you back, I'd saved you, but at a cost and I needed some guidance." Sarah said quietly as she laid back down against Chuck's chest; she was speaking less to Chuck and more to herself, it would seem. Chuck had never heard Sarah talk like this before, he'd never heard her talk in such dark terms.
"I was raised Catholic, but I've been lapsed for a long time; to be honest, the lord and I do not talk much," Sarah said with a chuckle before she continued. "The thing was, I needed guidance, I needed someone to show me the way. So, for the first time since I was ten years old, I prayed, to the lord. I begged him to help you, to show me how to help you, so you could go home to your family. I know I've sinned and I have no doubt I'll burn in hell for what I've done in my life, but I begged the Lord nonetheless for his help." Sarah felt Chuck move to protest her description of her fate at judgment, but simply motioned to stop Chuck, before he started, she already knew what he say. Chuck heard Sarah's voice hitch emotionally and he had to fight his own emotions in that moment.
"I promised to be different, I could change, be better, be a better person, I begged him not to let me lose you," Sarah said as her voice cracked and tears began to pool on Chuck's shirt; Chuck heard her sniffle, but he said nothing. "I'd almost lost you once already and I couldn't go through that again, so I begged him for help, and he answered my prayer," Sarah said with finality.
"How?" Chuck asked.
"You woke up, you were sedated with enough sedatives to keep you under for another two hours, but you woke up none the less, just to comfort me. You told me not to cry, and said I couldn't get rid of you that easily. It was exactly what I needed to hear to cheer me up and I knew it was the lord showing me what I needed to do," Sarah said intensely.
"What was that?"
"Make sure this doesn't destroy us; make sure we make it through this so we can have that future. This is the Lord giving me a second chance to be a better person and I'm going to make the most of it Chuck. We are not going to let what happened to you destroy us," Sarah said intensely, she felt Chuck give her shoulder a supportive squeeze.
"Us," Chuck said quietly, Sarah spoke up in confusion.
"What?"
"What happened to both of us, Sarah; we're both victims of this whole thing and we both have healing to do. Don't for one second think you don't have healing to do as well, and before you say anything, just know that I will be there with you every step of the way until you've overcome this, the same as I have." Chuck said with intensity of his own that made Sarah want to protest, but Chuck simply silenced her before she could start. "We're in this together Sarah, we heal together, nonnegotiable; we're going to have that future together because we're a team that supports each other no matter what." Chuck's determination was too much for Sarah, even after everything he'd been through, he was still so determined to look out for her. Sarah simply wept into his chest for a few moments before she tiredly nodded into his chest and the released an exhausted yawn, betraying how long of a day it had actually been.
"I love you Chuck," Sarah said sleepily as she intertwined her legs with Chuck's, her feet always got cold at night so she looked forward to the warmth that her Chuck would provide.
"I love you too Sarah, more than you'll ever know," Chuck whispered back to her before he kissed the top of her head and then relaxed back into the mattress for a much-needed rest. Sarah was right in that there was definitely healing to be done and Chuck knew he had a long way to go, but he wasn't stupid and could see just how much residual guilt, Sarah was still carrying around, even after all this time. She had healing of her own to do that was going to be even more difficult than his own emotional recovery. Sarah had apparently rediscovered her faith in the last two months, and Chuck was truly happy for her. While Chuck wasn't an overly religious man, he recognized how much having a belief system to lean on during the healing process could mean for Sarah's recovery. Faith was an asset, not an enemy of her recovery. Chuck knew Sarah was going to be there for him no matter how hard things got and, in that moment, Chuck made a promise to himself to do the same for her.
"We'll have that future someday, that's a promise," Chuck mused to himself as he settled in for a much-needed rest with the love of his life nestled securely in his comforting embrace. Their world was very much in flux, but in that moment, they had each other and that was all that mattered to the both of them. They were together through this whole thing; never again would either of them let the world drag them apart. Never again.
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #4: Well there is it, chapter two of Never Again is complete and our favorite couple is on their way to Project Sapphire, I don't know when i'll update this one again because i'm working on everything I stated in my second AN, but the third chapter is almost planned out fully in my head so that's good (shrugs).
CHARMING'S AUTHORS NOTE #5: Please leave a review, for us writers, your feedback is all of the payment we get for the hard work all of us put in for our craft. Your criticism is the only way for us to stay honest with ourselves and you all so please leave a review and let me know what you think.
Until Next Time :D