Daddy Night in Hell
Summary: Set after season 6: Lucifer, Amenadiel and Dan meet to their bi-monthly movie night in Hell, when Amenadiel breaks the news that in the world of the living Trixie was getting ready for her first date and school ball. This will be a gathering of connected one-shots concerning the 3 men and also their families.
Disclaimer: I don't own the character.
Timeline: Takes place about one and a half years after the fast forward/Rory's birth in the show's final. Trixie is 14, a few months to be 15. And before my story "Audience with the Devil". All one-shots in this "Daddy Night in Hell" fanfic-series are prequels or sequels to "Audience with the Devil" and thus play in that storyline.
A/N: Timeline/Ages after my internet research:
Trixie's official birthday is March 1st 2008
Charlie's official birthday is March 25th 2019
Rory's birthday April 7th 2021
Rory's birthday must be 2021 and not 2022 (like on some sites), because Dan died on January 30th 2020 (they also repeatedly said that Trixie was only 11 here); Between S5B end and start S6 was 1 month. Season 6 is only about 4 weeks/1 months. Which would make Lucifer's disappearance to be rather April 4th 2020 and not August 4th 2020, but they wanted to stick Trixie into the summer camp, so they somehow made a skip up to August 2020. 2021 is also verified with Charlie celebrating his 2nd birthday shortly before Rory's birth.
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Lucifer was vivid, fetching another bottle of his expensive whiskey from the bar and returned with a second crystal glass to his two guests on his Italian leather couch – or rather an exact replica thereof. Daniel would surely need something harder than his beer if his brother decided to stay an uncomprehending dick. "You could at least chaperone, my omniscient brother!" The Devil sat down and refilled his glass and poured one drink for his companion in misfortune. "You don't even have to leave Hell to do so!"
Since becoming God a few Earth years ago, he hardly used any of his omnis, not wanting to be intrusive or act against the Free Will. "I'm not a stalker God."
"Just make sure that this little cretin keeps his hands and lips from Trixie."
"Three feet distance. At least." Dan added. They don't need to touch. Touching was overrated. Especially at a school ball.
"You two are aware that this is a dance." Amenadiel pointed out exasperated, trying to keep calm. What was their problem? "Where you usually touch the partner by holding at least hands." Here the other two fathers made pained expressions and groaned. "Or place the hand on the shoulder." Yes, in the past few years, he had indeed learned a lot about the customs of the mortals.
"That's much too close to her neck or chest." A horrifying thought suddenly occurred to the Devil. "Does she have… you know… breasts already?" His penthouse and the neighbored apartment replica held countless photos of his terribly missed family and among those were of course a fair amount of the little Urchin. Yet he still held her twelve year old self in mind.
"Please, God, I don't wanna know!" Dan exclaimed distraught and downed the other half of his bottle of beer, taking gratefully the offered tumbler of whiskey from their host and a generous sip. She was his little girl. With pigtails. Loving glitter and unicorns. Not having breasts and loving boys.
"God heard you." Amenadiel answered amused, earning death glares of the other two.
"This is really not the time to finally become humorous, brother!"
This discussion was going on for the past half an hour, their muted movie long forgotten while Dan and Lucifer thought up more and more horror stories about Trixie's first school ball and the grabbie hands of her date. As if a dance floor full of people had ever stopped him from having sex!
"Aren't you exaggerating?" Amenadiel was slowly tired of listening to their woolgathering. He couldn't say who of the two was worse. They were 14 year old kids for crying out loud. What would they do other than holding hands? "He seemed like a really nice guy." Wrong sentence. Very wrong sentence.
Lucifer scoffed, his brown eyes holding a reddish shimmer while his drink hovered before his lips. "A really nice guy, you say!"
Dan shook his head about his best friend's naivety, remembering the time he had bailed the angel, now God, out of custody after sleeping with a prostitute without him realizing that she had been a whore, or even knowing that something like this occupation even existed. "You have a son, Amenadiel."
"You can't understand this." Lucifer was for once on the same page as his bracelet bro. "I don't need to ask such pubescent weasels what they desire. It's always only one thing." Debauchery and sex. Well, that were more or less two things, which were connected. And he should know. Those had also been his rather single minded concerns to spend his days. And nights. Before he and Chloe became serious, that is. And especially before he got father of a little girl. A sweet innocent daughter. His little angel. Prey to the ones he had belonged to before. Just like her older sister was.
Dan nodded agitated. The Devil surely knew of what he talked. "Girls can get pregnant after only one stupid mistake with some needy asshole." New horrors popped up in his mind. "Not to mention STD." He gulped down half of the tumbler, trying to calm his nerves.
Lucifer looked up to his ceiling exasperated. "Thank you very much for that, Dad!"
Amenadiel frowned at his brother. Had he now lost it completely? "You do know, he isn't up there anymore?" How high-proof was this liquor he had brought from Lux' storage?
The Lord of Hell shot the new God an evil eye. "At least I don't have to worry Rory ending up pregnant after a fling." This was at least a small hope he was holding onto.
"Because she's an angel?" Dan's brows were now hitched in bafflement. "Did help the two of you so very much in this department." Sarcasm dripped from his lips.
Leaning back into his expensive leather, the Devil eyed the former detective. "Thank you very much for your concern, Daniel, but lucky me, Rory seems to prefer her own gender." This revelation surprised the other two men.
"You sure, man?" Did he even consider the idea of her being bi?
"Rather. Unfortunately older women." The Devil took a deep breath, letting it escape slowly. "Or she takes after me and she doesn't throw anyone out of bed." This was a horror scenario. He swallowed a generous sip of his favorite liquor. "I just hope the apple fell here as far from the tree as possible." He shortly removed the glass from his lips. "Farther than her lying." Taking another huge swallow of his whiskey. "Much farther." He muttered under his breath in almost something like a prayer.
Amenadiel could only shake his head anymore. "Aren't you exaggerating?"
"I slept with half of L.A.! Literarily as you know!" He knew the Urchin was a clever little minx and this circumstance made it bad, but his own daughter had unfortunately inhered half of his genes. That would make her ten times worse. Who is he kidding? Hundred fold.
Dan suddenly looked forward to Rory's first school ball. Maybe a little smoothing of his daughter with her date wouldn't be such a catastrophe compared to what her little sister might do. "I wonder to whom the Devil is praying in times like these."
"Apparently not to his godly brother to do his duty as a good step-uncle and stalk Trixie." Lucifer's with Hellfire blazing glare dug into The Almighty.
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Linda looked startled up from her book as she saw the bright light engulf her living room once again, announcing the arrival of God, who had only left for his movie night about a second ago. "You are back early." Usually he stayed at least four seconds, what equaled roughly 12 hours of action movies, alcohol and manly conversations in Hell.
Exhausted from the ridicules conversations, he plopped down next to Linda on the sofa. "I left Luci and Dan to their exaggerated delusions of Trixie losing her virginity tonight. And ending up pregnant. And with all possible STDs."
"It's a school ball of fourteen year olds." Nodding her head, Linda could picture both fathers and their fare-fetched horror scenarios. "With parents chaperoning." She hoped Amenadiel had pointed this out to them. "Did you mention Maze is volunteering?" Last she needed was to be dragged down to Hell for an emergency therapy session of the Lord of Hell himself and their late friend. Why was it that this wasn't such a far-fetched possibility than Trixie losing her virginity tonight?
Amenadiel stretched his legs out and made himself comfortable on the couch cushions. "Oh, yes and that's where the discussion made extreme turns. Both aren't so sure Maze knows how far or not so far those kids should be allowed to go."
Linda made a face, worry showing in her features. "Actually, I'm not so sure either with Maze. And Maze and Trixie being so close friends… I fear she would keep cave so Trixie can go as far as Trixie wants to go."
Now, this dry evaluation of the situation made Amenadiel a little bit worried. "We are speaking about sweet little Trixie who wants to become President of Mars." Holding onto that mental picture, he tried a smile, which should be encouraging Linda, but mostly himself, yet he felt how it failed miserably for both of them.
It seemed that The Almighty still held a too innocent picture of his eldest niece. "She also considers to become a bounty hunter now."
"Uh huh…" Amenadiel paled.
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A/N: I hope you liked it! Another installment taking place a few years later, will follow.