The next morning, Christie was surprised to wake up to the familiar yet unfamiliar smell of something burning. She leapt up, forgetting that she was only dressed in her slinky black lingerie, and ran straight into the kitchen. Once she skidded across the dark tiled kitchen floors, she saw James stood topless, looking beyond confused in the midst of the thick smoke. Christie rolled her eyes and pressed a small dark blue button on the wall; immediately, the billowing smoke was sucked straight into a vent through the ceiling. "Sorry about that," James blushed awkwardly.
"What the hell were you trying to cook?" Christie let out a laugh as she made her way over to the blackened stove to peer into the frying pan.
"Well I-" James turned around to answer her, but froze. His eyes fell onto Christie properly and quickly realised that she was only wearing lingerie. It was laced black and looked so delicate against her gentle pale skin. Her now coal coloured hair curtained her face in the middle parting, making her silver eyes pop out even more than usual. "I…uh…well…"
He cleared his throat and tried again.
"You…you don't have any actual fruit here?"
"No way, did you try and cook the fruit from the table?" Christie giggled lightly, remembering when Coulson made the same mistake a few years back. "That's not real fruit!" James simply rolled those beautiful eyes of his.
"Yeah, I got that now," he shrugged, looking a bit disappointed. "Fruity fried pancakes, the only thing I kinda remember. I wanted to make them to say…thanks for the hospitality, you know?"
"Ah you don't have to do that, bringing you to my house was literally in my job description," Christie hummed to him, tapping his stubbly cheek with her finger playfully. He couldn't help but smirk at her as she turned around and flounced out of the kitchen.
"Doctor Kriztina? Um, where…where are we going today?" he called out to her, eyes still shamelessly trained on her body as she left.
"I haven't heard back from base yet so…wherever you want to go, I guess," she answered loudly, opening the bathroom door to enter the shower. James gave a small smirk, raising his eyebrows to himself as he kept the image of Christie locked in what was left of his memory.
…
"I swear to you, this place has the best banana bread in the whole world," Christie insisted as she pulled James' fully covered metal arm into her favourite quaint tea shop. He didn't resist and simply smirked at her enthusiasm, allowing himself to be dragged in. Christie had dressed herself in a tight black tank top and tight dark jeans with a pair of black Converse to finish the look. Her hair was still damp from when she had hurriedly washed it to rid it of the smoke smell, but was also neatly tied back to prevent it from sticking to her face. James had a simple jacket on over his own white crew neck top and casual pair of slightly baggy jeans and trainers.
Christie opened the cafe door and the bell gave a cheerful ting as it always did. She spotted a perfect table for two next to the window, and decided it was the best place to sit. But James rushed ahead to pull out the chair out for her, like the gentleman he was, making her smile. He glanced into her eyes once he sat down, but quickly found himself completely lost in them. Christie felt the intensity of his gaze - half of her wanted to look away, the other half of her wasn't even able to. Nobody had looked at her like this before.
Well…one person had-
"And what can I get for the lovely couple?" a waitress suddenly popped up beside them, smiling with her notepad and pen poised. Christie gulped and blinked up at her a little distractedly.
"Oh, we're not…um…" James began with a stutter.
"Sorry about him. We've only been official for a few weeks, he's clearly not used to it," Christie quickly interrupted him whilst giving the waitress a casually large smile. "We'll have two banana loafs please." The waitress nodded, scribbled it down and scurried off to prepare it.
"I wasn't aware that all those little meetings between us were considered dates," James raised a slightly cocky eyebrow. Christie rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms.
"Oh please," she rolled her eyes, although she was now biting back a smile. "It's so people don't ask too many questions - you could at least try to play along." James gulped and clenched his jaw, trying to decide whether or not he should ask the question that had been playing on his mind all day.
He decided to go for it - what did he have to lose?
"So…sorry if I'm overstepping - but do you have an actual partner?"
Everything went quiet and it felt like all the oxygen had suddenly been sucked away. Christie could hear her own heart beating as she suddenly suffered a violent flashback of everything to do with Loki, the memories that she'd tried so hard to keep locked away. She quickly began to feel slightly nauseous, so she decided to keep her mouth shut. But James appeared happy enough to sit there and wait for her to respond - clearly oblivious to her sudden change of character.
"I did have one…but he, uh, p-passed away," she finally replied in a quiet hesitant voice, avoiding his eyes. James reached over and touched her hand sympathetically.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "You don't have to talk about it if you-"
"He was trying to save his brother and was murdered in the process… brutally," Christie whispered hollowly, the haunting image of Loki's last moments slowly creeping back. Then she violently shook her head as she began to feel those dreaded forbidden tears well up. "I've had a couple of…well, months…to grieve him but-"
"Months? Damn. Do you have any family? Anyone to help you…recover?" James frowned, nibbling on his plump bottom lip a little uncomfortably.
"My sister is a little occupied…my father hasn't bothered to keep in contact with me since I was about 12, and I'm not too sure where my mother is. Nor do I care."
"How are you even coping?" James whispered in pure admiration.
But only then did Christie suddenly realise what she had carelessly revealed about herself. Pretty much everything. She felt like a real dumbass.
Sloppy work, Darmer.
"Oh my god, James - you have to promise you won't tell anyone what I just told you," she hissed, grabbing his human hand as a desperate plea. James froze at her touch, and the muscles in his neck tensing.
"I won't, I swear," he assured her softly, looking dead into her eyes. Christie bit down on her own lip and was about to thank him - when out of the corner of her eye she saw the waitress approaching with their order.
"Quick, kiss me," she suddenly muttered.
"Way to kill the mood," James scoffed. Christie let out an irritated groan and cupped his cheek with her hand before slamming her soft lips against his own, just as the waitress approached the table.
Kissing someone - for the first time in over a year.
She didn't hate what was happening, but it sure as hell felt strange. Odd.
Pleasant, but odd.
"Um…," the waitress began, starting to awkwardly to hover like a dying wasp. By this point, both Christie and James had somewhat accidentally melted into this kiss, his own hand now tangled in her silky pitch black locks. For Christie, it was all apart of the job.
But for James…it was different.
"Sorry, guys…I have your banana bread?" They both broke apart at the same time - James in pure awe over how good the kiss was, and Christie because she didn't want to take the piss with the waitress.
"Oh, thank you so much! Sorry, we didn't realise that you were standing there," she beamed apologetically, whilst the waitress let out a short giggle and placed the plates down.
"Ah, I know how love can be. Enjoy your food!" she trilled before skipping back off to the kitchen. James' lips were still parted from the kiss, desperately trying to savour the moment, whereas Christie had already begun to tuck in to her large wedge of banana bread.
"Are you not gonna eat any of that?" she frowned at James between mouthfuls.
"Did you not just feel what I felt in that kiss?" he asked in shock as he reluctantly picked up his own fork. Christie chewed a little slower and her shoulders drooped, beginning to feel the awkwardness.
"Depends on what you felt," she swallowed, unable to eat anymore already.
Despite how excited she was to eat - she was loosing her appetite by the second.
"I felt…listen. I understand, an experiment or…whatever I am and a doctor, seeing each other, it would be…frankly, ridiculous - but who said any of this had to make sense? I understand that you're recently widowed and obviously I would never want to replace him in any way, but I've forgotten what these feelings are like and when I saw you in your underwear today…I-I mean I know I shouldn't have looked but you were just standing there and I-" Christie shoved a finger against his plump lips as the waitress came back around with the bill, gave them another sweet smile and then waltzed off.
"Alright first of all, keep quiet! You can't just speak about 'experiments' and whatnot in front of all these people, got it?" James nodded obediently. "Secondly…James, it makes sense for you to be feeling these things, okay? It does. I am probably the first proper woman you've come close to in a while - and it doesn't surprise me that you're feeling things so quickly. I mean, look at me! I'm cute, so I get it."
"Not only that Kriztina but-"
But Christie interrupted him.
"I have no problem with being in a relationship with you…but I do have a problem with being in a relationship, full stop. I am still grieving. And I have no space within me to redirect that attention into something brand new, giving yourself to someone is too difficult. I cannot go through that again. Not to mention the fact that you don't really know me. This is a little crush - that's all," Christie explained, leaning on the soft palm of her hand and looking dead into his eyes so that he could see she was being earnest. James gave her a small understanding nod and clenched his jaw, eventually tearing his eyes from hers.
"I get it," he mumbled, finally taking a bite of his own slice. Christie ran her tongue over her bottom lip, the guilt beginning to crawl over her body like a rash. She diverted her attention to the window, noticing that the skies had now turned a murky grey and rain had begun to splatter violently onto the streets.
"Shall we go?" she asked quietly after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, noticing that neither of them had finished their food.
"Yeah," James sighed, sliding the plate further from his across the table. "Kriztina-"
"Christie," Christie corrected him quietly. "Please, just call me Christie."
It was the least she could do.
"Okay….Christie…this cake is awful," James admitted, his face breaking out into a small cheeky smirk. This caused Christie to burst out laughing as she shook her head, pushing her own plate away too.
"Can't disagree with you there. I'm sure it used to be better," she giggled, stacking the two plates on top of each other and pushing them into the middle of the table. James smiled at her in a mini-daze, loving the sound of her laugh. It was almost shy sounding - like it came out in a burst but ended up fading before it could finish…as if the laugh itself was insecure.
"You have such a beautiful laugh," he told her sweetly, standing up and holding his hand up so that she could take it and stand up too.
"I do? Well…thank you. No one's ever told me that before," Christie blushed, ducking her head slightly as he took her hand in his. "I haven't laughed this much since being with…him. So it's still a bit foreign to me, I guess." James shot her a sympathetic smile before offering her his arm for her to take, which she did after leaving money on the table for the banana bread.
"Oh. Did you not enjoy the food?" the waitress frowned slightly, appearing out of nowhere once again.
"Oh no we did! I-it was wonderful but…um…" James was completely and utterly lost for words once again. Christie could tell he just wasn't very good at this - but why would he be? She was the one that had been trained.
"I'm pregnant!" she suddenly blurted out, winging it flawlessly. "And Simon here…he promised me that he wouldn't eat whatever I couldn't. Supportive boyfriend and whatnot!" She patted her flat stomach lovingly and James placed his human hand on top of hers with a forcibly pleasant smile.
"Aaaah…the old morning sickness…I hate that - had it three times myself," the waitress nodded wisely, her eyes twinkling again. "Well congratulations to you both! Wishing you happiness!" Christie shot her another tight lipped smile and grabbed James' arm, pulling him out of the cafe doors before they both burst out laughing, as they ran through the rain and back into the safety of Christie's car.
…
That evening, Christie sat on the sofa with Inky next to her, his heavy front paws resting peacefully on her lap, whilst James sat on the other side with a comfortable Smudge resting her chin on his feet.
They were both eating chocolate fudge ice cream, that being one of the few things that Christie had in her fridge that wasn't going stale. "So, tell me something about yourself that you can remember," Christie started off a new conversation. James released a tired sigh, threw his head back and stared up at the ceiling.
"I really don't know," he answered honestly, a look of helplessness lingering in his eyes, "I appreciate that we're both taking part in truthful hour, but I honestly can't remember a thing. I just remember the name 'Steve', and I only remembered that because you said it." But Christie felt a pang of guilt in her chest as she realised that she hadn't been totally honest with James at all.
"Well…I guess there's some stuff about myself that you don't know either," she began tenderly, moving her bowl of ice cream onto to floor where Smudge took care of the rest.
"Go on," James frowned over at her a little apprehensively. "I thought I knew enough but go on." Christie took a deep breath as she realised the severity of what she was about to do.
She could potentially ruin everything she had worked for - this could get her fired from S.H.I.E.L.D and/or killed by HYDRA, but she couldn't care less. The mention of Loki earlier had seemingly drained her. She was already tired of keeping up the act. She just didn't have the stamina for this anymore. She should've taken longer out of the job to heal before agreeing on another mission, especially one of this nature where emotional closeness was imperative. This was exhausting.
What would HYDRA do - kill her? They should go for it then. At least then she'd be with him again. This was a death sentence - it was practically suicide and all she wanted to do was embrace it.
She had to say something, anything, and she was readily prepared for whatever may or may not happen after that.
"I'm an assassin," she admitted bluntly.
James' face fell as he slowly placed his bowl down on the coffee table in front of him, wondering if this was a fight or flight situation.
"You're an…"
"I'm not going to kill you," Christie continued on as calmly as possible. "I don't kill unless I need to. And so far I think we're okay, wouldn't you?" James breathed out slowly, half taking her word for it and half dubious.
"Well that….that would explain a lot," he nodded after a few moments of contemplation.
"Doesn't it just? Oh, and another thing…they're bad guys. I'm not actually working for them, I'm working for the good guys, and they're the bad guys even though they think I'm the bad guy secretly working for the good guys," Christie attempted to explain, now unable to stop rambling.
That was when James' eyes grew wide.
"That's why you are always the nicest! That makes sense…but why even bother going along with it all? What do you get out of it?"
"Intelligence. It's some organisation rivalry, but once it gets to the point where we think you could be a threat-"
"A threat? I couldn't ever be a threat to anyone," James frowned, almost insulted.
"I know you wouldn't by choice, but they're turning you into something else. Don't know if you've noticed but you've got a metal arm right now…"
"Then don't let them do it," James hummed simply, picking up his bowl again. "Don't let them turn me into a threat."
"Yeah because it's that easy. Plus we don't know how long they've had you for. You may have done things that you don't even recall doing, then they blitz your brain afterwards and bam - it's like it never happened," Christie rolled her eyes dryly. "Plus, with all due respect - I don't think I'm ready to die on the line for you just quite yet."
But those weren't the words James wanted to hear.
"Wouldn't you rather die than live and see me hurt people that I don't have to? Isn't that what you're here for?" Those words sounded entirely too familiar for Christie, and she didn't like that.
"Oh god, James, please don't do this," Christie muttered, internally kicking herself for raising this point in the first place. She should've known he wouldn't get it.
"Why? It's a fair point, isn't it?" James grunted back.
"No it's genuinely not…I mean, like, in the slightest," she replied, signalling the end of the conversation. Before James could even attempt to say anything else, Christie's phone started to vibrate, causing her to reach over and answer it.
HYDRA, of course.
"Agent Klovinsky speaking," she answered it coldly as James clenched his jaw.
"You can bring him back now, we've got it under control," was all the robotic sounding voice said before hanging up. Christie let out a sigh of relief and placed her phone down next to her, before standing herself back up and dusting off her legs to get rid of the stray storkatt hairs.
"They want you back," she told James briskly. She had been through the all motions with him in the space of a few hours - she just wanted this part to be over.
"I'm not going back," James replied firmly, eyes deadly serious. "I want to stay here, with you a-and Inky and Smudge-"
"As much as they love you, you have to go back. This is all part of the mission," Christie muttered as apologetically as she could, feeling the emotions begin to seep through the cracks yet again.
"Please, take me to your guys instead," James began to full on beg, his large eyes pleading. Suddenly Christie let out a loud groan of frustration which made both of the panther-like cats sit up and begin to growl at James, assuming he had somehow become a threat.
"I shouldn't have said sh*t! This always happens! I open up and suddenly it fails on me yet again! I trusted you and this is what I get for it? How do you see that as fair, James?" she hissed, her shimmering grey eyes ablaze. James sighed and stood up as well, working his way to where Christie stood exasperated and reached his arms around her to give her a slow but steady hug, which she reluctantly fell into. "I don't want them to hurt you and I swear I'll get you out at some point. I will, I promise you I will. But right now, I just need you to play along and do what they say. People will die, and it's gonna be bad, but you need to ride it out before I can do anything. This is a big operation for everyone involved and I don't want to mess it up," she mumbled into his shirt, feeling herself begin to calm down in his arms.
James gave her a small but sad smile.
"I understand. I'll go back for you, okay?" he murmured into her hair, rubbing her back in comfort. Christie nodded stiffly, giving the impression that he could let go, and she left the apartment to start up the car.