CHAPTER 16
That afternoon after Renee left for her flight, Alice began fretting over Bella's choice of clothing.
"I just didn't know you had so many…sweaters" Alice wrinkled her nose.
Bella stared at the misted-over window. Light was barely showing through the gray clouds and dripping windowpanes. She could feel the familiar knawing at the base of her subconsciousness again.
Suddenly Alice stopped folding. Her face scrunching up into a grimace.
"You have a visitor" she announced. Bella's heart stopped; no, it's not Edward her mind chastised. He was lurking nearby – that she knew for certain. It was a sixth sense she had developed. Or perhaps the inexplicable pull was only one-sided. Either way, Bella could feel him everywhere, haunting her. Just the thought of him was akin to putting vinegar on a fresh wound.
A second later none other than Jacob Black bounded in.
"Jacob" Bella called out hoarsely, her eyes lighting up at seeing his familiar bronze face and dark sweep of hair. Jacob's eyes found hers and he beelined towards her. His 100-watt smile was the sunshine she craved.
But his welcomed presence elicited an odd response that Bella couldn't understand herself.
She shoved her body into the back of the bed, wincing as her bruised form flexed and extended to maneuver away from her friend.
Alice growled low. Jacob stopped his movements.
Bella's heartbeat raced. She swore she could hear another growl from beyond the doorway.
Her vision tunneled as she watched Jacob take a large step back with hands raised.
Bella wanted to believe it was the morphine - that she was too drugged up and delirious to fully comprehend her surroundings, and made her react uneasily towards her best friend.
An oxygen mask made its way to her mouth, and Bella looked up to see Alice's blurry figure standing beside her protectively.
'Thank you' she mouthed.
Bella watched as Alice conveyed a warning glance to Jacob. Bella narrowed her eyes. Did they know about each other? She remember speaking to Jacob about the Cullen family, and everything was revealed when he officially joined the pack – but had they actually met?
"Hey Bells" Jacob nervously brushed the nape of his neck. "Long time no see"
Bella's guarded visage softened, and her arms shakily propped herself up in bed. She desperately wished for a shower.
"Hey Jake" she breathed. She attempted to mirror his smile, but knew she didn't have to. Not around Jacob. He kept his distance as Alice continued to fold clothes by Bella's bedside.
"Bella I," Jacob glanced over at Alice , who stopped her motions.
"What? Oh fine. Just a few minutes." Alice huffed out. She gestured with her two fingers, pointing first at her eyes, then at Jacob. "I'm watching you" she stared at him dramatically before stomping her heeled boots out of the room.
Bella couldn't help but smile at the spectacle.
"You have the guard of the undead protecting you" Jacob joked, faking fear. "They never leave your side."
Bella chuckled, looking at her hands "Yea, it's always Alice or Esme in the room. I guess you all haven't officially met before."
"I knew what they were the moment I entered the hospital – I could smell them." Jacob wrinkled his nose. "And bloodsucker," Jacob leers, grinding his teeth, his eyes flitting to the doorway, mumbling "he's always here"
Bella's head snapped up at the reference.
"I didn't mean to upset you" Jacob sat in the chair by her bed. His hands wavered over hers, as if wanting to grab hold of them like he used to when she would get lost in her empty heart. All those past moments he could touch her, comfort her, wrap his arm around and pull her shoulder to contact his as they watched the La Push sunset amongst the guys. But he thought better of making the contact.
And Bella was secretly grateful. She wasn't sure if she was ready yet.
They were in uncharted territory their friendship had never traversed.
"I'm just glad they found you. I wish I had." Jacob let his head fall in his hands.
It was a trait of Bella's, always trying to take other people's guilt away. Their shame. Their fault. Like her father's guilt for going back to work. Or her mother leaving for Florida, when the inner child in Bella was crying out for them to stay.
And this time was no different. It was an unnatural almost inhuman instinct to take their pain away from them, even when she couldn't deal with her own at the moment. And it distressed her even more to watch her best friend, her comfort, and sidekick for all these months, take the blame for something she could only blame herself for – even if she couldn't fully put the pieces of the puzzle together yet.
But taking away Jacob's pain meant opening up her own unhealed wounds – peeking through the heavy curtain when she wasn't ready for the horror show.
Bella swallowed the lump in her throat "It was my fault Jake. You can't take any blame for this. I was incredibly stupid and drunk. I didn't listen to you when I should have" Tears filled her bottom lids.
He peered up at her from his hands. Those big brown eyes hold so much misplaced guilt, Bella sighed.
Tears began to trickle down her sore face. "I've missed you Jake. I'm so sorry Jake"
"You're the last person to be sorry! You were abducted and - "
Bella's blood went cold.
The curtain was unveiling itself at his introduction, and she was desperate to hold the shroud together and prevent whatever nightmares that waited her from passing through.
She shook her head violently, unable to face what was beyond the veil. She hoped beyond hope that Jacob would take her signal and stop talking. Would stop making her remember. Her lips tightened into a thin line, eyes shut and straining the last of the tears from their corners. Jake's admission only made it harder to keep the incident from entering her forebrain.
Jacob could read her body language and quickly realized his stupidity. He had gone too far. He hung his head again, not knowing what to say. The silence was thick between them.
"You know, the whole gang was looking for you." He bumbled on, believing if he rambled on, it would salvage the situation. "Then they were looking for them."
Her hands balled into tense fists filled with white linin.
"Seth wanted to tear those men to shreds" Jacob gave a dark chuckle, staring off. His voice came out in a exhale, not meant for Bella to hear. "But it was too late."
Bella's breathing escalated. Flashes of that night were returning to her. Dark figures, indiscernible faces, the strong stench of alcohol. What did he mean by too late?
"Too late?" Bella's voice was barely above a whisper.
"Yea, they were murd-"
"Ok! Time is up dog" Alice flew into the room with Rosalie at her heels. Jacob was about to retort, but Esme's commanding presence, Bella's own motherly sentinel, deflated his argument to stay.
"I guess visiting is over. I'm sorry Bella. I'll come by again. Know I'm always just a phone call away." The look on his face made Bella's chest hurt. She knew Jacob only wanted to lighten her mood and apologize. She held onto his guilt like a life raft to pull her from the abyss beyond the curtain – focusing on the weight he was carrying for what had happened. That guilt hers, and hers alone. She would have to clear the air another day. Not now.
She echoed the words she spoke only minutes ago to her Renee and Charlie.
"It's Okay Jake. Everything will be fine"
If only she believed her own words.
Jacob sent her a small smile, stuffing his hands in his pockets before shuffling out of the room.
"Now, let's get you into some human clothes" Alice gushed, rushing over and pulling out a seafoam green sweater from the pile in Bella's suitcase.
"As opposed to Vampire clothes?" Bella raised an eyebrow. Rosalie snorted, folding her arms. Bella glanced over at the statuesque blonde vampire. She had never heard Rosalie laugh before. But as Bella regarded her, Rosalie's piercing golden eyes met hers fleetingly.
There was a change in her. A change Bella had never seen in the vampire who she once feared because of her hatred towards her. Rosalie's eyes didn't hold the same contempt. Part of Bella was too numb to care otherwise. But it momentarily stunned her; the eyes staring back at her only showed…empathy.
With their backs turned, Bella gingerly maneuvered herself to put on the undergarments. Every time she moved her legs ached, especially her left, and the stitches in her side felt like they were about to burst open. She bit her lip and refused to cry out when she maneuvered her bruised arms and healing torso.
Alice wiped Bella's frustrated tears.
She was still too scared to ask Carlisle about her injuries.
Bella caught sight of the light blue button-down shirt hanging over the side of her suitcase.
Alice followed Bella's transfixed blank expression. A knowing smile played on her lips.
"Yes, I brought that too. Just in-case."
Bella looked up at Alice. She felt like a child, asking for something she desperately wanted, but the words wouldn't come out. And they didn't need to.
Alice brought over the long-sleeved button down, holding it out for Bella to slip into.
Bella tentatively pulled her arm through one sleeve, then the other. She was instantly wafted in his comforting smell, her body immediately reacting and falling into a state of ease as her fingers lingered on the buttons. She remembered those days…
He laid in the sun beside her. Both of them were laughing at the sparkles that danced off his skin. Their meadow, their hiding place. Their own little happy world.
She loved how his whole being glowed when they looked at her, full of happiness and adoration.
She pulled herself up next to him, biting her lower lip. Her fingers lingered on the buttons of his blue shirt, wondering if the rest of him sparkled the same way.
Edward didn't stop her when she slowly undid the buttons with one hand, letting his upper chest show. Her breath hitched. He was dazzling.
His hand came up to hold her cheek, and she nuzzled into the beautiful cold that embraced her so tenderly. She never felt so cherished.
"I love you, Bella Swan" his voice filled with emotion.
"I love you Edward" she bent her face lower to close the gap between them –
Bella shivered, quickly buttoning the rest of the shirt up her chilled body.
"It's fucking unfair" Emmett folded his arms. "The dog gets to see her before we do. Even before Edward does."
Edward was crouched on the ground, fisting his hair. Hell, it bothered him more than he wanted to admit. The dog could see her, greet her, talk with her – and he couldn't. The closest he could get to her was holding her hand as she slept. And even that was tempting fate.
Alice opened her mouth to speak, but then they all heard the conversation turn, and the small faint heartbeat they had grown accustomed to, and were protective of, began to escalate.
"And bloodsucker, he's always here."
Edward's head snapped up. All air had been sucked out of the waiting room hosting the five vampire siblings.
Fuck he heard Emmett's internal expletive as he rose to his feet. She's not supposed to know you're here Edward.
I think that ship sailed long ago with Renee Alice regarded, putting a consoling hand on Edward's shoulder.
"Look, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just glad they found you. I wish I had."
Edward felt a little guilty they were listening to their private conversation. But he already knew Jacob Black's conflicting thoughts. There was tenderness towards her, and romantic notions – feelings that irked him to his core. But Jacob also held guilt for what had happened. Edward didn't fully trust him.
"It was my fault Jake," they heard her reply. "I was incredibly stupid and drunk. I didn't listen to you when I should have" Edward could heard the pain behind her voice. He emitted a low growl. It took everything in him to not burst through the door, yank the dog out by his collar and scoop Bella up into his arms. But her next words stung.
"I missed you Jake. I'm so sorry"
Alice peered over at Edward's broken expression. She couldn't take seeing her brother struggling to hold himself together, let alone put up with this. Edward should be the one at Bella's side, and everyone knew it.
"You're the last person to be sorry! You were abducted and - " Edward's eyes widened at Jacob's careless choice of words. Bella's heartbeat skipped before resuming its high-pitched race.
"You know, the whole gang was looking for you. Then they were looking for them. Seth even wanted to tear those men to shreds. But it was too late."
Edward could hear the change in Bella's breathing. "Too late?"
He stood up, warring with himself – knowing if he busted through that room to pull Jacob out by his throat and slam him against the wall, he would be hurting Bella – and that was the last way he wanted him and Bella to reunite.
He looks pleadingly over at Alice to stop this train wreck, but his siblings were already acting on instinct.
"Yea, they were mur-"
"Ok! Time is up dog" Alice announced into the room with Rosalie falling in step behind. Esme was making her way down the hall when she stopped at the scene. Edward looked on beseechingly at his mother.
"Please, get him out of there" his voice a whisper.
Jacob Black was blind if he didn't see how his words affected Bella, and Edward wanted to make him pay for it. Maybe it was a sixth sense, but he could tell she wasn't ready to face what had happened to her. And Jacob was laying everything out in the open to clear his own conscience.
Esme saw the look on her son's face and knew instantly she needed to come to Bella's rescue. She gracefully entered into the room.
Within moments Jacob emerged.
Edward didn't care anymore if Jacob was Bella's friend, he wasn't going to let him get away with upsetting her.
Jacob regarded Edward's form leaned against the wall by Bella's doorway. His body rippled in response to the scent of his sworn enemy. Edward glared in his direction.
Jacob had heard enough about Edward's relationship with Bella the past couple months, and had seen what his disappearance and rejection had done to her. She had spent months trying to recover. Jacob wasn't about to let Edward screw this up again, or screw things up with Bella.
Both drew to one another like volatile magnets.
"If you think" Jacob came within inches of Edward's face. "That she's going to take you back, I won't let her."
Edward growled, pushing himself off the wall to size himself up against Jacob. His nostrils flared. Emmett and Jasper jumped from their seats in the waiting room.
"I won't let you upset her again. If she isn't ready to discuss it, don't push it Jacob." Edward seethed, unable to stop the growls deep in his chest.
"You hurt her" Jacob snarled, his fists balling at his sides. Edward swallowed the lump in his throat, his dark eyes widening. Jacob could see he had hit a nerve.
"You did this" Jacob jabbed a pointed finger into Edward's chest, making Edward stumble back. Emmett and Jasper surrounded them.
"You left her! You hurt her, abandoning her in the middle of a damn forest, and left her alone for months – leaving others to clean up the mess you made! You did this to her!"
Emmett and Jasper grabbed hold of Jacob's infuriated form. They could tell Jacob was doing a poor job of preventing his transformation.
"No" Edward called out from his downcast gaze. "He's right" he muttered through clenched teeth.
Emmett and Jasper let go in disbelief. Jacob shrugged out of their grasp, shaking, and struggling to control his resolve. After a few seconds, he shoved past Edward who couldn't bring himself to look up from the tile floor.
Jacob stopped beside him, shoulder to shoulder, the hatred between them making their bodies respond of their own accord. The hot and cold energy crackled between them. Jacob's breath steamed through his nostrils. Edward maintained his steel gaze and clamped jaw.
Jacob knew these were low blows, but he couldn't stop himself. He loved Bella; she was his best friend, and he had so hoped they would become something more. The last week and a half he couldn't sleep. He was tortured by the fact he couldn't save her from what had happened.
And here was Edward, his arch enemy in more ways than one, coming back to 'claim' what he thought was his. When he put Bella through more hell than he knew.
"I know what you did to them" Jacob's voice was a harsh whisper.
Edward's head shot up to meet his challenging fiery gaze.
"But you're just as bad as they are, for what you did to Bella. You should do yourself a service and join them in hell."
Emmett was the one to pounce this time, and it took Jasper's ability and strength to keep him at bay.
Edward could only stare as the words sunk in. Deep.
He wasn't staring at Jacob anymore. He could only see the faces of those men he murdered, of the trauma Bella went through. Of her cries for help. Of her cries for him.
Jacob turned on his heel, ignoring the goading shouts from Emmett to face him, leaving Edward standing in the hallway.