Edward PoV

As Esme had rightly guessed, my feet had taken me right to the hospital. But following her demands, I was waiting outside, far enough so that the gathered werewolves couldn't smell or see me. I was surprised about how many of them were here. Four of them were currently inside, two with injuries and two in the waiting area.

My eyes were fixed on the clinic, but the people inside were too far away for me to read their thoughts. Luckily after some time Esme came out, followed by Charlie and Alice. When they saw me, they motioned for me to follow them to a small park a bit farther away. It was late afternoon but already getting darker because of the clouds covering the sun. A cold wind had come up and so the park was deserted. We sat down on two benches.

"What happened?" I asked the minute we had sat down.

"A lot", Carlisle replied. "It began with Alice coming back from a visit to Forks, telling us that Bella was in a really bad shape. Then she began having visions about Bella writing a message for her, asking her to come back because of an emergency. It seemed like Victoria was gathering an army to get to Bella. She has hunted her ever since we left Forks and hadn't it been for Sam Uley and his pack of werewolves, she would have found her much sooner." He sounded sad and, in a way, defeated when he said this. As if all of this was his fault. Their fault. But it wasn't. It was mine.

I had been the one to convince them that it was better for everyone if we left. I had made the choice to bring her into these woods and leave her there. I had been the one forbidding my family from having any contact with her, telling them that it would only make the whole situation harder than it needed to be. I had caused all this and now I feared I was too late to fix it.

"But what about you?" Alice chimed in. "How did you know where we were? You haven't been home in months."

"Jasper told me." When I saw their confused looks, I nodded. "He called me a few days ago and told me what was about to happen. That Victoria was gathering an army. He didn't ask me to come but he said he thought I deserved to know. After all, you're my family and if you are going to fight against Victoria my place is at your side."

"And that's the only reason you've come?" Esme asked. She had always known much more about us then we showed her. After so many years she just knew when we were holding something back.

I shrugged, not answering.

"Edward, I know it's painful to hear that, but you have to know that she has moved on. She is now with the werewolves and very much in love with Jacob as far as I can tell. She is happy, he makes her happy", Esme continued, looking at me even as I avoided her gaze. I couldn't look her in the eyes.

"She was happy with me too", I replied, knowing that I sounded weak and pathetic.

"You said yourself that you are bad for her. And she told me some of the things that happened in the woods. I can only guess why you said these things but Ed, you can't just walk into her life again and act like nothing had happened and expect her to forgive you. She thinks you hate her." That came from Alice.

I laughed drily. "Hate her? I love her with all my heart. I've always loved her from the day we've met. I know that what I said and did was terrible and unforgivable and I cannot ever expect her to forgive me, but I want to at least have the chance to explain. Explain why I did and said all this, why I left her. She has to give me at least that."

"She doesn't have to do anything for you, Edward", Alice replied, an angry frown on her face. "Like Carlisle said, I came back before she called me. You want to know the reason? Because I thought she'd killed herself."

"Kill... herself?" I didn't understand. Why did she want to kill herself? I left her because I wanted her to live, how could she not have seen that?

"She did a lot of stupid and reckless things like driving a motorcycle with a really, really nasty guy. The last thing I saw of her was when she tried to jump off a cliff. Then she disappeared and I thought she had succeeded. That she was dead because we left her. That's why I came back. I wanted to know."

"Edward, you have to give her time. Her body is weak, she needs time to rest. Jacob is with her and I doubt that he will let you get closer than a mile to her. Let the situation cool down and, in the meantime, we'll think, and we'll talk. There are a lot of unsaid things here and a lot of questions that need answering. But for now, we should all rest, Bella most of all." I knew that Carlisle was right with what he was saying that I was much too agitated at this moment to see things clearly. I needed time to think of a solution for this mess and Bella needed time to heal.

It was the most rational thing to do but it was also so damn hard. I sighed. "Are you still at our old house?"

Esme nodded. "You're always welcome to come back there if you want. Your brothers and sister will be very happy to see you."

"And I them. I'll come but I need some time alone first I think."

"Take all the time you need. But know that the door is always open, whenever you decide to come home." Esme leaned forward and hugged me tightly. "I am happy to have you back my darling."

After they were gone, I strolled around town. I took in all the familiar sights, the little café Bella and her father used to eat sometimes, the police station where Charlie worked, our old high school where Bella and I had first met. It seemed to me like every place and every street was connected to Bella somehow and I remembered why I had to leave back then. I knew I had been bad for her, that by seeing me and my family she put herself in mortal danger and that I had to let her life her own life, a safe life without me. But it was too painful to stay in the same town as her and not see her, so I had urged my family to move. We were already too long at this place; people were starting to get suspicious about why we were not aging like everyone else. I had comforted myself with the thought that Bella was safe now and that she lived a happy life without anything dangerous threatening her every day.

Had I known that the exact opposite was true I would have come back at once...

My walk ended at her house which was dark and cold. Charlie was obviously not at home and I briefly wondered where he could be. Then my feet walked on their own and I was suddenly standing on the back of the house, looking up at the window that led to her room. It was closed, of course, and why would I have wanted to go in there in the first place without Bella being there? I forced my feet to keep moving, away from her house, away from the town to the only place that could provide me at least with some kind of comfort.

Home.