Bella PoV

When I woke again, I was feeling a bit better already. My throat, although still hurting like hell, wasn't burning anymore and my cold body had become warm. I could even move my head which I did to look for Jacob. Earlier, he had promised me he'd be here when I woke for the next time and I missed him. I missed his warmth and his love and his voice and nearly about everything.

My face softened when I saw him standing in the corner, talking to Carlisle. He wore his usual pair of jeans but also a black shirt, sleeves rolled up. Maybe it was against hospital politics to run around a hospital half naked.

I couldn't speak yet but with a werewolf and a vampire in the room, words were not necessary. They could feel that I had woken up regardless and as I had known they were both were pleased to see me awake.

Well, Carlisle was pleased. Jacob was overwhelmed with happiness and joy. He practically ran to my side, took my hands in his and kissed me long and soft. I felt dirty, my hair was definitely greasy, and my teeth could use a good brushing but at this moment, I didn't care. And neither did he.

In the meantime, Carlisle stood patiently in the corner, waiting for us to finish our little celebration, and then coming over to examine me.

"How do you feel?" he asked in his calm doctor voice as he read something from the various machines and filled out the chart in his hand.

I made a face which was supposed to say. Been better, but okay

Carlisle nodded. "Your voice will return in a few days. Victoria pressed pretty hard, and your vocal cords have endured quite a trauma. Until they are fully healed, try not to speak, or make any other sound. It will only stress them further and prolong the healing process. Other than that, I can positively tell you that you're fine. Some bruises and one of your ribs is slightly cracked but nothing serious. You should be fine to go home in a few days."

I smiled as best as I could.

"Are you hungry? I can tell the nurse to bring you something. I'm afraid it will be only soup because your throat won't react good to solid food but it's better than the nutrition liquid you've been given the last two days."

Two days? I've been sleeping for two days? But... How?

"It's fine, Bella. Your body needed the rest." Carlisle took out a small flashlight from the pocked of his jacket and lightened first in my left then in my right eye. He seemed to be satisfied with the result. "Well then, I'll leave you and tell the nurse to bring you some food."

He exited the room, leaving only me and Jacob alone in the room.

Jake sat on a chair beside my bed and stroked my hair. "Hey there..." he whispered. "I've missed you." I could only close my eyes once to tell him that I've missed him too.

"I see, this whole nonspeaking thing will be very tricky. But don't worry, I can do the talking for both of us." When I rolled my eyes at his comment, he only grinned.

Then my eyes went towards the door and I raised my eyebrows in what I hoped was a questioning look.

"They are fine" Jacob began. "Leah has a broken leg that will take some time to heal, even with her werewolf strength and Seth had a bad concussion but the rest of them are fine. And yes, the Cullens too." He seemed to be annoyed at this, but I could sense that his hatred and his rejection of the vampires had vanished and grown into a feeling of respect and maybe even liking.

Maybe someday they would even become friends

I liked the thought of that very much. My two worlds finally becoming one. Then something rose up in my mind. An image. A memory. A dream?

Night.

Jacob sleeping.

Someone watching.

Edward.

"I am so sorry."

I began to shiver and closed my eyes. Immediately Jake began to worry. "Bella? What is it? Are you in pain? Should I call someone?"

Despite the coldness that clutched my heart I managed somehow to shake my head. "Then what is it?"

I wanted to explain to badly, but my throat burned whenever I tried to speak. I breathed evenly and put away the memory of Edward and his nightly visit in the deepest corner of my brain.

When I opened my eyes again and saw Jake's worried face, I smiled, managed to raise my hand, and put it against his cheek. I love you I mouthed. So, so much

The nurse came with a tray with a bowl of soup and a pot with warm tea. Jake helped me to sit up and put some pillows behind my back to stabilise me. As much as I had wanted to eat by myself, in the end, I had to admit that I was still too weak to do this, and Jacob had to help me like a baby.

Afterwards he asked me if I was up to some visitors and I nodded. It would be nice to have some company and see for myself that they were all alright. The first ones were the rest of the Black Pack (I'd never stop using that name, if Jacob liked it or not). Seth came in first, closely followed by Embry and Quil. The kid smiled broadly when he saw me awake and sitting upright in my bed. "Bella!" he called and immediately sat on the side of my bed whereas Quil and Embry stood on the front.

"Oh man, Bella, I'm so sorry. I really, really tried but in the end, it was not enough. Damn bloodsuckers" he cursed but when he caught my sharp look, he retreated a bit. "Hey, we are not in your house, aren't we? I didn't know this was a neutral zone as well. And Victoria and her army of crazy loons don't deserve to be called vampires. Please?" He looked at me with his puppy eyes and I chuckled. It hurt like hell in my throat, but it didn't matter. I lifted my hand and put it onto his and slowly nodded. It's okay

"Really Bella, you gave us a very big fright there. I mean, I know you've got a habit of getting yourself in trouble by falling downstairs or getting lost in the woods but this?"

"Yes, I mean, we put you on the side of the battlefield, at a far enough distance and still you're the one that gets hurt the most." Embry and Quil scolded me but I didn't care. I knew that they've only been worried about me and that they didn't really mean what they said. I presented them him a smile too. For a while we all talked, well the boys talked, and I listened but then Jacob put an end to the visit, stating that I needed rest and that the presence of three werewolves who were chatting constantly wouldn't help with that.

Nonetheless they all promised to visit again tomorrow which earned them a huge smile from me and an annoyed eye-rolling from Jacob.

Yeah, the job as Alpha can be very stressful, I mused as Jacob came over to my bed and helped me lie down. This time however I lay down as best as I can on the right side, trying to make myself very small and thin and he understood. Although the hospital bed wasn't clearly made for two persons, not to mention a huge werewolf, Jake managed to squeeze in beside me, spooning me. Immediately his familiar heat surrounded me as our bodies merged as one, like two pieces of a puzzle, fitting together perfectly.

After three more days my voice was slowly starting to come back, and I was finally released from the hospital. It was Charlie who picked me up.

He had gotten home two days before from his trip. When he found the house empty, he had called around a bit, hearing from Billy that I was at the hospital together with Jacob. Twenty minutes later he arrived, with screeching tires and steaming, and nearly shouted at the poor nurse at the reception desk. Luckily, Carlisle had been in the area. He had managed to calm Charlie down, telling him that I had had a little accident the day before (I fell down the stairs in our house) and that they wanted to monitor me here to rule out a concussion. He even stressed that it was Jacob who had found he and brought me immediately to the hospital which calmed Charlie down a little further. In the end, it was a calm but nonetheless very worried Charlie who came to into my room and found me awake and listening to Alice.

"Bells, what you we going to do with you?" Charlie sighed, after he'd greeted Alice and hugged me shortly. "I mean, the stairs? Again? We should put in an electric chair; you know the kind old people use when they can no long take the stairs."

"Ah, I think Bella would find a way the hurt herself even with something like that, Mr. Swan." Alice laughed. "Maybe falling straight off."

I just rolled my eyes and said nothing.

So, it came, that two days later I sat on my bed, a cup of tea on the nightstand and looked thoughtfully out of the window. It was raining outside in big steady drops. Jacob had left this morning, saying he needed to attend to some business in the reservation and that he would come back in the evening. He wouldn't have done that had not Charlie been here to watch me. Since the attack Jacob had become even more protective of me and I couldn't blame him. But sometimes it was a bit unnerving how closely he monitored me. What would happen when I got back to school next week? I had been absent for nearly three weeks now and would have a lot to catch up on. Normal life was going to take over and I wasn't sure I was ready for it.

My phone vibrated. On the display it read Alice

I briefly fought with myself and then declined. I wasn't in the mood for some light chit-chat. It still wasn't decided what the Cullens would do. For now, they stayed, Carlisle working at the clinic again, but no one could see if they decided to stay for good.

Absentmindedly I reached for the cup of tea. But instead of grabbing the handle, I managed to throw off the whole cup. With a light thud it fell down on the floor and broke in two, spilling hot tea everywhere.

Oh, for f... I cursed while I stood up and down, careful not to step on the shards or the hot tea. I picked up the shreds and threw them in the trash when I noticed something weird. One of the floorboards seemed to be a little off. Knitting my brows together, I knelt down once more and with my fingers touched the wooden board. It wasn't fixed with nails and I could easily lift it up.

Huh? Why hadn't I noticed this before?

Putting the piece of wood to the side I saw that it had revealed a hidden space underneath. Something was in there...

My heart began to pound as I reached inside and withdrew the hidden objects.

Memories...

So many memories...

A CD... Pictures... Memories...

Like in a trance I stood up and put the CD in my player. Music filled the air, wonderful music, music he had composed and recorded for me.

I sat down on the bed, suddenly too weak to stand any longer. I looked at the pictures. The pictures Alice had taken that evening with the camera she had given me as her present. Pictures of me and of him. We both smiled. We both looked so happy. His arm was slung around my shoulder, bringing my body close to his.

I remembered that night. Remembered how excited everyone had been. They hadn't had the chance to celebrate a real birthday in many years. Esme had even made a cake although they couldn't eat it. Emmet had given me a new CD-player for my truck and had already installed it by the time I had opened his gift. The plane tickets to Florida so Edward and I could visit my mother and Phil. The plane tickets we had never used. They lay on my side on the bed, a little dusty but still in perfect condition as if they had been bought yesterday.

Something wet hit my finger that hold the picture. Confused, I stared at the drops on the pictures, and only then did I realize that I was crying.

Crying for everything that could have been. Crying for every lost moment, every opportunity we had missed. Crying for a love that hadn't been there. Music surrounded me, a song I knew far too well.

Bella's Lullaby he had called it. The song he had written for me and hummed to me every time I slept at his side.

I broke down.

Slipping on the floor, I brought my knees close to my body and hugged them tightly. I buried my face in the space between my knees and my body and the let tears fall freely. Whimpers escaped my lungs but small enough that Charlie wouldn't hear them. I didn't want him to be here. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. My head hurt and my heart bled and still this damn music wouldn't stop. His music, my music. Why didn't it stop?

I wanted it to stop!

I wanted it to stop hurting, I wanted it to be over. He was gone and Jacob was here.

Jacob.

I wished so much for him to be here.

He would hold me like he always had, and he would help me heal and chase the nightmares away. I knew that if I called him, he would come.

But I didn't.

I didn't want him to come, didn't want Jacob to see me crying over him again. I had already cried so much...

Finally, the music stopped. And so did the tears.

I looked up and realised that it was already getting dark. Downstairs Charlie was busy in the kitchen, I heard him rummage with plates and glasses. I was exhausted but I had to try to keep a happy face. He shouldn't know how I felt. My phone vibrated and when I looked at it, it said 5 missed calls

They were all from Alice, all during the last three hours. Apart from the calls there were also 3 new messages. I opened them.

Hey Bella, I tried to call you, but you didn't pick up. Everything alright?

The second, half an hour later

Please pick up. Are you mad at me or something?

The third one, only ten minutes ago

Bella, if you are not replying the next ten minutes, I am going to call Jacob

Oh God... With trembling fingers, I tried to call her back but this time, she didn't pick up

Hello, this is Alice. I am not here right now, but leave a message

Damn... I looked around in my room. It was a total mess. Photos lying everywhere, the CD in the player, the cover next to it. The plane tickets were on the floor, untouched.

Damn, damn, damn, damn

I tried to call her once more but still no one was answering. I swept everything I could find up in my hands and was about to put it back in the space under the floorboard when I heard a way too familiar voice.

"What are you doing?"