Bella PoV
I re-read the letter for the thousandth time. The paper was already getting thin and torn at the side but like an addict, I couldn't stop. By now, I knew it by heart, but I still read and read.
It had been two days since my date with Mike and he had already asked for a new one. There was a fair in a neighbouring town next weekend, and we wanted to go as a double date, Angela and Eric and Mike and me. I wondered if he already saw us as a couple.
If yes, I had to somehow end this without hurting him too much.
I liked Mike. I really did. And I didn't fool myself, what I had with Edward or with Jacob, I would never have again. But my feelings for Mike were not even remotely close to what I thought love should be like and they wouldn't evolve.
Sighing, I put the letter back in the envelope and the envelope back in the book. My fingers brushed against my mobile phone and by instinct, I took it and pressed the button to put it out of standby mode. Only then did I remember that I switched it off weeks ago.
Can I turn it on again? Am I ready to face them?
I honestly didn't know the answer, but I pressed the button, nonetheless. I waited for my phone to turn on again, listening to the familiar jingle before the screen lit up, showing me lots of missed calls and unread messages. My voicemail must be full, too and I decided to deal with that first.
With shaking fingers, I pressed the right buttons and a robotic female voice announced that I had ten new messages. I pressed 1 to get the first.
Bella? It's me, Jacob. Please, I need to talk to you. Call me back, please. I am so sorry! Please! I love you!
The phone escaped my weak grip, fell to the ground, and went black. The screen was broken and no matter how hard I shook it or how long I pressed the buttons, it wouldn't turn on again. Every message, every call, forever lost. Maybe it was better this way.
I put the broken device on my nightstand and went up to my window. My eyes scanned the surrounding area like they had countless times before. But there was no flash of red and why would there be? I had made it clear enough that I didn't want to see either of them anymore. I was finished with their world, finished with them.
But why did I feel so empty inside? Why did these words sound so hollow?
Please, I need to talk to you.
I thought of Jacob's voice on the phone. He had sounded desperate, destroyed, and full of hopelessness.
After that night I hadn't even given him a chance to explain. I had seen him fight and drawn my own conclusions. I'd decided I was bad for him and thus withdrawn away completely.
Had I been right about this? Shouldn't I have a least given him the chance to explain?
My head began to pound with a serious migraine. I was spinning around in circles. I had been down this road so many times before. Thinking about Edward and Jacob and Mike and me and my future and my past.
I had to stop now, or I would go insane. I closed my window shut, took a book from my nightstand, and began to read propped up against the wall.
Two days later I was standing in the bathroom, brushing my hair, and humming quietly to it. Mike would be here in half an hour to pick me up for the fair where we would meet Angela and Eric. I was looking forward to it because I hoped it would distract me from my gloomy thoughts.
I thought about applying some make-up but then decided against it. I wasn't very good at it and managed to always look like a clown whenever I tried and besides, Jake had almost never seen me with make-up and still found me beautiful.
Mike, not Jake. Mike
The doorbell rang and I looked surprised at my watch. Twenty minutes till the time Mike had wanted to pick me up. It wasn't like him to be this early but maybe I had misunderstood the time.
I quickly put everything I needed in my purse, grabbed a light white jacket in case the evening would get cold and headed downstairs. Charlie wasn't home, visiting a sick friend and so it was up to me to open the door.
"You're early."