I felt him approach me with heavy steps. I was looking out from the balcony - it was dark, but I could make out various house lights and small fires from the top of our hill. He rested a hand on my shoulder. "Are you ready, Bells? It's almost time to lock down the house." The ground shook beneath us and I grabbed onto the stone railing to balance myself.

"Jacob, I'm scared."

He gently pushed me towards a set of pull-down attic stairs. I stopped and turned to look at his face. He smiled and waved his hands towards the stairs. "Will you come with me? What about the fires?" The ground shook again. Jacob frowned.

"The water will take care of the fires. I'll come back to get you after the wave passes. Go." He ushered me up the steps. As soon as I landed in the dark and musty attic, I could hear a roaring drone.

"Please come with me." I begged. I could feel the tears slipping down my face, falling off my chin as I knelt at the edge of the floor. "Jacob."

"It'll be fine." His voice was barely a whisper as he pushed the steps up and closed the attic.

I wrapped my arms around my knees. The roar became more intense, vibrating through the house and my bones. Small droplets of water fell from the ceiling. I screamed.

I wasn't sure how long had passed when a small crack of light slipped into the floor. The noise had died down a long time ago, leaving me alone in the quiet dark. The stairs made a creaking sound as they released. I scrambled to climb down.

The walls and floor were wet. "Jacob?" I didn't see anyone. The house was empty, save for a sopping pair of drapes that hung over the balcony. Cautiously, I approached. I pulled the wet curtain back and stepped out.

Edward stood at the balcony, shimmering in the sun. Wordlessly, he reached his hand out for mine. I accepted and he pulled me to the edge.

All of the houses were standing and everything appeared in order. Confused, I looked towards Edward. "The tsunami…What happened?"

"You survived."

The repeated vibration of my phone startled me awake. Two missed calls from my mother, one voicemail. "Hi Bella, haven't heard from you this week. You'll never believe what Phil surprised me with! Call me back." I gently tossed the phone back on the bed, and ran my hands over my face. My nightmares were now showing nightly.

My eyes slowly closed and tiny visions flickered across my brain. Dancing at prom, sitting in the meadow, papercuts, standing on the edge of the cliff in La Push, hospital rooms, candlelit dinner. I started to think of Jacob, but shook my head. It doesn't matter. You said no. You don't need anyone else, remember? Just you. Just me was devastating.

I stared at the blinking cursor on the blank word document. The assignment seemed simple enough, but my brain stuttered and tripped over every thought related to the source material.

I dropped two of my three classes the first week after a small breakdown over required readings and assignments. Two months in, the workload was significantly more bearable. With one class, I supposed I couldn't really complain.

The routine I had created for myself was quiet. Class on Monday and Wednesday, home, reading, homework, and the grocery store on Friday. Manageable. I grabbed the remote and muted the tv - I had taken to keeping it on at a low volume to keep myself company, but the canned laughter was too much. I slammed the lid of the laptop shut, and stormed out the back door.

I sat in the dewy grass. Tears pricked at my eyes. What do you want? I had no idea what I wanted. At this very moment, I wanted nothing more than to climb into my car and drive. Drive, drive, drive, until I couldn't keep my eyes open. Sleep on the side of the road, wake up, and keep driving until I couldn't drive anymore. I'd hike into the same forest that haunted so many of my dreams until I found an abandoned cabin or a cave. I'd make my life there, live off the land. Hide until I faded away, or until fire or flood razed everything to the ground.

I pinched a few grass blades between my fingers and pulled them out from the earth. I brought them to my lips and blew as if making a wish; however, the weight of the dew prevented them from flying and they fell back to the ground.

I wiped the tears with my sleeve. I knew running wasn't much of an option anymore. After all, I ran here, didn't I? I rested my head on my knees and took several deep breaths. You can't outrun yourself. I made a mental list for my day: Start the assignment - change clothes - drink some water - toast for breakfast - take pill - go to the grocery store. It seemed so overwhelming, and I felt the familiar burn start in my chest, and my breath caught. Keep it together, Bella. Five, four, three, two, one.

Five things I could see: yellow grass, a wooden fence, the grey blue sky, my chipped pink toenails, and the brick of the house.

Four things I could feel: the dampness of morning seeping up through pajama pants, a lazy breeze, burning in my chest, and the wet dying grass.

Three things I could hear: a bird somewhere in the distance, a car door slam, and my heartbeat in my ears.

Two things I could smell: grass and dirt - is there a rule about using the same thing on multiple levels? But the grass was everywhere. I could also smell myself - sweat and body odor. I added shower at the top of my list.

One thing I could taste: blood. I wiped at my lips with the same sleeve. Another amendment to my list - buy chapstick.

I stood and walked back towards the door as my heart slowed to a reasonable pace. I decided to find a new doctor. I briefly wished that someone else could do it for me and hold my hand and tell me it would be okay. But, this was just another piece of my new journey. Be what I needed.

A/N: I have always found dream symbolism and meanings to be so fascinating. I think dreams can be one way of working through some difficult things. I didn't personally love this chapter and had a hard time writing it, but to me it is important to see the progression of Bella's journey. Healing is not a linear process, and I think it would be unrealistic to have everything be suddenly better. We are making solid steps.

Thank you to everyone who is reading and to everyone who has reviewed. Your words are so encouraging and I really appreciate it - thanks for coming along on this adventure! Progress is a little slower, but we will get there. A reunion is impending…