Ravi was immeasurably conflicted by the turn of events that occurred on Halloween.
Shelby had given off an impression that she was utmost sincere about wanting to be his friend. It was nearly believable. Anyone else would have taken her word for it, but he was still skeptical. He just...couldn't help it. Not after years of treatment he received from everyone else.
A part of him, the rational side, kind of wanted to think she was being genuine about it and not just saying it because he'd broken down in front of her like he did. Truthfully, she didn't seem like she was that type. Not when she blurted out anything that came to her mind without filtering it first. So the likelihood of that having happened was fairly slim.
But Ravi knew his mind didn't often think critically like it should.
There was another part of him, the cynical side, that had a pessimistic view of things. It gave him a strong feeling Shelby was lying to spare his feelings or she was simply trying to string him along. It just-none of this made any sense! Her behavior or her family's. They were too nice. What kind of family just accepted a total stranger without so much as some kind of interrogation or even mild awkwardness? They hadn't reacted like that at all. They were warm and inviting and it was so incredibly messed up to Ravi how they treated him as such when his own family acted like he was invisible most of the time.
Why did it have to be him? Why was he the forgotten child?
Shelby was determined to show him she truly meant it when she said she'd always be his friend, but what she'd done since that night was downright ridiculous. She was laying it on somewhat thick. Trying to hug him or loop her arm around his. Asking him how he was doing, if he needed help with homework. Asking his opinion on absurd things or if she could come over again, as she was still overly eager to meet his family. Which Ravi would do whatever it took for that to be pushed off as far as possible.
As far as he was concerned, it would never happen.
/
Shelby's lunch bag practically slammed on the table. He jumped, but as usual, she didn't pay attention enough to notice that. It was rather annoying how quickly she went from being eerily observant to obtuse. "Dad said I could come over!" She said happily, sitting down and biting into her apple.
Wait what? Ravi stared at her in disbelief. She wasn't serious. She couldn't be. She couldn't have the utter audacity to invite herself over without even asking. He paused to briefly ponder things which had occurred since she arrived. No, no. She definitely would.
Halloween. Case in point.
"What do you mean come over?" He tried not to groan. He really tried. "You were just over last week."
Unannounced.
"That didn't count," she said lightly.
What do you mean it doesn't count?!
"And why not?" He couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe her.
"We didn't really hang you know?" She explained, using her infuriating Shelby logic that made no sense to anyone but her. "But now we can! Oh, I can't wait to meet everyone! I'm so excited!"
"But I didn't say you could come over," he argued.
She laughed. Out of all things. "Oh silly, I know you want me to come over!"
No I don't
Anything but that
Please...
"You can't," he insisted.
"Why not?"
Because I don't want you to
Because you merely invited yourself
Without permission
That should tell you why
"I'm...busy," he settled on.
"Ooh, with what?" She asked nosily.
None of your business
None of her business because it's not true, right?
"Stuff," he inwardly cringed at how that sounded. His pathetic lie was apparent now. No one in their right mind would believe that. "I have homework to do and chores and-"
"Oh, I have chores too! I'll have to do them before I come over but you don't have to wait for me. You can go home and I'll come over when I'm done, okay? I don't want you to be bored. Unless you wanna come. You can, of course! I don't mind."
Why would she think he'd want to do that?
"No," he said flatly.
"Okay! I'll just come over after then."
Or don't come at all?
Which would be a much better idea
"But-"
"I'm so excited!" She squealed. "Are you excited? You're excited, aren't you? This is gonna be so much fun!"
He did groan this time.
/
"Bye! But not like bye-bye because we'll see each other later," her face screwed up as she thought over what she'd said then nodded. The explanation must've been good enough for her. Ravi wasn't being attentive, only saying, "Yeah" or a distracted head nod.
He was too focused on what was to come.
You sound like you're approaching your doom
He might as well have been.
His stomach was churning again and again.
His palms and every other crevice were sweaty.
His heart was beating rather fast as well.
Why was this happening? Why? It was bad enough when she'd come over on Halloween. This was purely to torture him. He just knew it. And now there was nothing he could effectively do because in the end, Shelby would come anyway.
Curses.
"It shouldn't take me long. I just have to take out the trash, put away the dishes from this morning, put the recycling in the bin and take out Chewie for a walk, okay?"
Ravi's lips were in a thin line as he came down the steps, making sure to keep his speed slightly above hers. Luke and Zuri were waiting for him, he was tempted to ask what the special occasion was and why Luke was already there. But, he wasn't going to ruin this. And anyway, he didn't have time to argue with his brother. He had real problems to deal with.
"Let's go," he said under his breath as he passed by his siblings.
"What'd you say?" Zuri was irritable, because she had to pause her video.
"I said let's go," he said with more force in his voice.
Luke and Zuri shared a glance, shrugged and followed him from behind.
The tension in his shoulders, little by little, went away until he felt calm. She must be on her way. Yeah. It was surprising that she didn't try to introduce herself to his siblings but no need to jinx himself.
"BYE RAVI!" Ravi closed his eyes. He could feel Zuri and Luke's eyes boring into his back. "I'LL SEE YOU LATER!"
He looked back, over his shoulder, past Zuri who was snickering. Shelby was waving wildly at him. He waved back, weakly.
"What was that?" Zuri didn't check and see if Shelby was gone before she asked.
Ravi did. She was.
"She's like five or something."
"You should see her at school," Luke snorted. "She's always happy. It's weird."
It wasn't enough that they must bad mouth Ravi but they had to sink low enough and do it to Shelby? She'd done absolutely nothing to warrant any of this.
Oh, so now you're defending her
What of it?
Well, you don't like her and she's not your friend, so you say, yet you're upset they're talking about her
Just because she isn't my friend doesn't mean she deserves to be talked about behind her back
If he wasn't such a coward, he could've-should have-spoke up and said something; not stand back and allow it to happen. But he can't. Not against Luke. It was wrong to be as apprehensive around his own brother as he was. But he was afraid; afraid of the verbal backlash he could receive. He can't hear it, not anymore of it.
And she thinks you're a friend
The stinging was back. He knew he was unreliable-it was why he could never be a true friend. He had those days where he shouldn't be around people and the days where his mood is up for grabs.
He can't do this.
He doesn't want to.
He walked ahead of them, hurrying. If (and it was a big if) Jessie had bothered to do any housework then all that would have to be done was his room in case the living room wasn't available to use.
His room. Someone-a girl-was actually going to be in his room. Standing. Being around his stuff. She was going to see everything. It almost didn't feel like real life, like he was dreaming and would wake up in the safety of his bed.
"Wait a minute," Zuri's voice pierced his ears. "What did she mean by 'see you later'?" Her face was blank. "Are you have a girl over?" She looked like she didn't know whether to laugh or not.
Luke pulled his headphones out of his ears, catching wind of the conversation. "Wait what? Ravi's having a girl over?"
Why can they not just keep their mouths shut? It was none of their concern who he had over. And it wasn't so unbelievable that they had to be so astonished.
"Dude, are you sure she wasn't joking? I mean, you never have anyone over."
Ravi clenched his fist. In his mind, he was trying to remind himself to remain calm.
Just so he doesn't smash his fist into Luke's perfect, million-dollar watt face.
It was another imaginary dart that went straight into his heart.
He has a lot of them. They're not visible but they're real. Every last one of them.
At their apartment building, he didn't wait for them to hop on the elevator. He was sure he would hear an earful of this later but that didn't matter. Anxiously, every so often he'd check his phone for a notification from her. She didn't bombard him with messages after he'd given his number, which is what he assumed would happen. Not yet, anyway.
"Hey, Ravi," Jessie was fluffing a pillow when the elevator door opened. Her smile disappeared when she noticed Luke and Zuri weren't with him. "Where's Luke and Zuri? Did they leave you? Because if they did, I swear they're in a load of-"
"Jessie," he cut her off, "it is okay. They're coming. I just didn't wait for them."
"Oh," her anger dropped and she was sheepish. "Right. Well, I made cookies and there's more milk in the fridge."
By 'made' she meant she bought them at the bakery. Or forced Bertram to get them.
It doesn't matter
I'm not hungry
"Yes, well," he shifted, unsurely. Things had been extraordinarily awkward between them and now he had to tell her Shelby was coming over. Unannounced. She might not be pleased. "Err, Jessie. May I have a word with you?"
"Uh, yeah! Of course." He was sure he took her by surprise. He hadn't wanted to talk with her for a while now. They went into the kitchen. Ravi wondered how much his siblings were going to procrastinate before they were home. They had been directly behind him. "What's up?"
"I need to have someone over." Her face brightened up in a way it hadn't before.
"Oh my gosh, of course you can have your friend over! I'm really excited for you, Ravi. It's been so long since you've-wait, have you ever had friends over?"
He took the slight jab without insulting her back. "She is not a friend."
Or is she
She says she is
But I don't know if it's true
She'll just end up leaving me anyway
And I do not want any of them, especially Luke, to have more ammunition to tease me with
"She?" Jessie's face was positively giddy now. "Oh, is it the girl Luke was telling us about? Shelly?"
"Shelby," he amended. "And yes..."
The elevator dinged.
"When will she be here?" Jessie inquired. "Does she want a snack? I can leave these cookies out and make sure Luke doesn't take them all."
"I am not sure."
"Well, I'll put some away, just in case," she offered.
He nodded.
Just as he was going back to his room; Luke was coming into the kitchen. The two brothers stared at one another. Ravi should've stood tall and shown Luke he wasn't afraid instead of shrinking just to get away. It was pathetic.
"No, Luke, leave those alone..." Jessie could be heard saying.
Ravi didn't stick around. He went right up the stairs. Zuri was already in her room or the screening room or somewhere else that was out of sight. He didn't find Emma either. It was both good and bad. Good because she might be out which meant she would be gone for a while, especially if she was shopping. Bad if she was just in her room and she would have to be told about Shelby.
Shelby. He kept getting nervous as he thought about it and her. He could've done without all of this added stress. Mrs. Kipling made that familiar sound with her mouth as soon as he came into his room.
"Hey, girl," he scratched under her chin. "I've missed you. Did you miss me?"
She replied-sort of-with another clicking noise. A confirmation.
"No, no. I cannot take you to school. I don't want you eating anyone."
Something close to a smile is on his lips. By taking Mrs. Kipling, he might eliminate any of the problems he was dealing with. He was smirking now. Those bullies would think they're tough until they saw Mrs. K. The thought brought him some pleasure, but he knew better than to even think of bringing his beloved pet to school. Still, it was a nice thought. One day, he hoped, would come where he had real peace and not because his pet nearly ate someone.
"Okay, the cookies are out of Luke's reach-really Ravi!" Jessie was in the doorway, exasperated by the mess. He had cleaned it when she had an issue with it last time. He supposed he just...let himself go again and now some of his belongings were scattered on the floor, clothes that weren't in his dirty basket. It wasn't as bad as Luke's room-that landfill was legendary-but bad enough that it zapped away Jessie's earlier good mood. "Didn't I have a talk with you before about this?"
No
You lectured me
You talked at me
Not with me
Like always
"Yes, Jessie," he said in a monotone. "I'm sorry."
He didn't mean it.
Jessie gestured wildly around her. "Clean this up before she gets here!"
"Yes, Jessie," he repeated in the same tone.
She sighed, evidently not pleased with his response. "Just get it done, okay? Do you know when she's coming over?"
He did not.
"Err, no," He had to admit. "She said she had chores to do first."
"At least someone's doing their chores," Jessie muttered. "Alright, well, if she's not here by the time you're finished, text her."
"Yes, Jessie," he said for the third time.
She left, leaving him alone once more.
He did a crappy job of cleaning up. It certainly wasn't what Jessie likely had in mind as he shoved the majority of his things in his closet or underneath his bed. He didn't know what to do with it all and now was not the time to get organized. It took nearly ten minutes but he thought it looked acceptable. His stuff was off the floor. Now, if Jessie came in to inspect it and searched around, she would find that it wasn't exactly the case.
He hoped she wouldn't.
Ravi's phone buzzed. Tentatively, he took a look at it.
::hey bestie! I'm here!::
Instantaneously, his stomach was overwhelmed by a bundle of nerves. She was here. Again. Shelby was at the penthouse while everyone else was here as well. He felt incredibly nauseated. He dreaded to think what would happen next. There was an urge to stay there in his room and he wished it were simple enough for that to be the answer but it wasn't. He couldn't do that. Shelby would wander up eventually.
Over his dead body would he let that happen.
Ravi sent a text to her, telling her to come up the way she came last time. His legs felt heavy as he made his way down the stairs, stomach churning, limbs shaky. He inhaled. He exhaled. Whatever was necessary to calm himself down. Walking past Jessie and Zuri who were at the kitchen table, he ignored his nanny's question about his room, pretending that he hadn't heard. Although she wasn't stupid. She must have known he'd heard her.
It felt like time had stood still as he opened the door. Shelby was, of course, on the other side, beaming. Her simples were visible as were her teeth, similar to a young child being told to smile and that child way over doing it. Not to mention she was practically trembling from excitement.
Here goes nothing...
"Hi Ravi!" Shelby exclaimed.
"Hello," He tried to smile back. "Here, come in."
"Okay!" Shelby did just that, squealing yet again when she saw Jessie and Zuri. "Oh my gosh, hi! It's nice to meet you! I'm Shelby. Shelby England. I'm Ravi's friend. His best friend! I just moved here from Iowa. Well, not just moved here. We got here a couple days after school started. Ravi showed me around. Oh, we worked on a project together, did he tell you? We had to reenact a scene from Romeo and Juliet. Well, we got to pick it. We got an A! Oh, by the way, what's your name's?"
She took in a gulp of air.
Ravi was the only one not staring out of surprise. He was, after all, used to it. His sister and Jessie, however, were not. Zuri made a strange face, side-eyeing Jessie as to silently communicate her thoughts. His nanny laughed nervously, subtly trying to push her to the side and get in front so she wouldn't hurt Shelby's feelings.
"It's nice to meet you too," Jessie was smiling in a way that she hadn't towards Ravi in years. "I'm Jessie. I'm the kids' nanny."
"Oh, I've heard about you!" Shelby said. "Ravi's mentioned you."
"Really?" Jessie blinked. "Oh, well, that's nice."
Per usual, Zuri had to butt in. "Did you say you're Ravi's friend?"
Shelby nodded vigorously. "Oh, yes! His best friend!"
Zuri was still unable to comprehend it. "His best friend," she repeated cluelessly. "This Ravi?" She pointed at him, deliebtely disregarding his noticeable annoyance to which Jessie shot him a look that clearly told him don't you even start it. "Our Ravi? Ravi Ross?"
Yes! He wanted to scream. Yes, she means me!
Shelby giggled at what she perceived to be a clever joke. "You're funny."
"Riiight," Zuri then leaned in close to Jessie but it hardly mattered. Ravi heard her every word and he was sure Shelby did too. "That girl's a few fries short of a happy meal."
"Be nice," Jessie hissed. His sister rolled her eyes, muttering to herself and departing from the room. He imagined she was either going back to her bedroom or to find Luke to inform him that Shelby was just as weird as he said she was.
He hadn't a clue as to why that bothered him.
I'm sure you don't
I don't
Mhm
What?
You really don't understand why, do you?
No
You're hopeless
"Heh," Jessie was laughing that nervous laugh again. "Uh, sorry about her-"
"We'll see you later, Jessie," Ravi interrupted, uncaring that he was being rude. "We'll be up in my room."
"Don't you guys want a snack? I'm sure you're both hungry." Oh now she was trying to play hostess?
"No," he said shortly.
"No thank you!" Shelby chirped. "I ate before I came."
Jessie had lifted up a plateful of cookies, lowering it back down dejectedly. "Oh. Right." Her demeanor abruptly switched to the authoritarian she tried to come off as to them. "Make sure that door stays open. You hear me, Ravi? I don't want to see it closed."
"Yes, Jessie," Ravi mumbled. He started to walk off in the direction of his room with Shelby hot on his heels. She was doing what she always did while she followed him-she talked.
"Did I show you the picture I took of Chewie this morning? I don't remember if I did or not. It's so cute! He was asleep on the chair all curled up and his head was on this stuffed dog we got him when he was a puppy. Do you wanna see it? Here, I'll show you." She brandished her phone, waving it in front of his face. "Isn't he adorable?"
Alright, so it was rather cute.
"Oh, I love your room!" Shelby clasped her hands together.
She was lying. It wasn't like hers or a normal teenage boy's room. It was decidedly bland. But that was fine with him. He didn't need it to be like his brother's; with posters plastered on the walls, paint smeared or anything else in there.
He rolled his eyes at her words.
"This must be Mrs. Kipling!"
His radar went up. His head swiveled around to see her bent on her knees, peering at his pet, who was sniffing her hand suspiciously. He could only hope Mrs. K was in a decent mood, otherwise they'd be dealing with a nasty bite on their hands. Quite literally on Shelby's.
"Be careful," he warned.
"Aww," Shelby cooed. He facepalmed. Mrs. K was not an harmless kitty cat or gerbil. She could be dangerous if provoked. "She's so cute!"
"She could also kill you," Ravi said, trying to get some common sense through her skull.
"She wouldn't do that. No, you wouldn't, would you?" Shelby said with that juvenile baby talk.
"She can't understand you," Ravi said crossly.
Now who's the childish one?
"I know," Shelby said. "I like to pretend they do, you know? It's nice to think they do in some way. I wish Chewie could talk to me, really talk to me. I wanna know what he's thinking. I bet he'd be a deep thinker, you know?"
If he is, he thinks more than his owner does
That's for sure
Shelby abandoned that topic, thank goodness. Her attention was was back on Mrs. Kipling. "She's really pretty," she complimented.
Ravi was standing not too far away, stiffly. "Thank you..." Any other girl would have gotten scared within his lizard's presence. Yet, she approached Mrs. Kipling happily. Nor did she make any remarks about her.
"You never sent me that picture," She reminded him. "Can I take one of her to send to Caleb?"
"I suppose," he'd forgotten all about that, truthfully.
"Thanks!" She took out her phone again, snapping a picture of Mrs. K. She put her hand out slowly after that, allowing Mrs. Kipling to sniff her hand again before allowing Shelby to run her hand down the back of her-at least as much as she could reach. He was surprised to see that his pet was actually enjoying it. Usually it was just him that was allowed to. Than again, it wasn't like the rest of the family made much of an effort to interact with her.
They hate her just like they hate you
"So," Shelby stretched out the word, "how's everything going?"
He blinked.
What?
"What?"
"How's everything going?" Shelby stopped petting Mrs. Kipling to look him straight in the eye. "You know, with your family and stuff."
She was referencing what he'd erupted about on Halloween.
"Fine," he said.
"Just fine?"
"Yes."
"Hmmm."
"What do you mean hmmm?"
"Nothing," she responded with a small shrug.
He huffed. He knew what she was trying to do.
It might have been working.
He shut the door so no one would hear. Jessie wouldn't be pleased if she saw but at this point, he didn't care. She could ground him if that's what she wished to do. It didn't matter. None of it. Nothing much mattered anymore. "It's fine," he told her earnestly. "Nothing's happened."
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
Shelby got to her feet, studying him. "You're upset. Something did happen!"
And it has nothing to do with you coming over
"No," he said tiredly. "Nothing happened. Nothing more than usual."
She motioned for him to continue.
And he did. He spilled. It was pathetic but that was Ravi alright.
Pathetic.
He groaned, feeling his frustration boil over. "I'm tired of being forgotten. Jessie...she forgot what sandwich I preferred."
Shelby didn't judge him. She blinked slowly, for once not speaking.
"I know it's a stupid thing to care about. But you would think after all these years she'd remember something! She knows what Luke likes. She knows what Emma and Zuri like." He slumped, feeling defeated. "But she doesn't know what I like."
"You should tell her," Shelby was nodding at her own idea. "She probably doesn't know how much it hurts you. Maybe if she did, she'd stop."
"I cannot."
"Why?"
"What good will it be?" He retorted. "She won't care."
None of them care
"You don't know that."
"I do know that," he corrected.
Because it's my family
Not yours
So I believe I understand them a little better than you think you do
"Have you tried?"
The question hung in the air. This wasn't merely just about a forgotten sandwich preference. Her voice was soft, her eyes boring into his.
He swallowed. "Sort of...? Of course I've tried."
"But they haven't listened," she finished.
"Clearly."
"Try again," she urged him.
He scoffed. "Why would I do that? So they can mock me and ignore everything I've said?"
"So they know you mean it. They don't know how you feel. Show them you're hurt and you don't like it."
"Why do I get the distinct feeling you're trying to excuse them?"
She smiled. "I'm not. They're wrong and they need to know that."
"And you think by talking to them, everything will work out?"
"It has to start somewhere, doesn't it?"
"Not here," he shook his head. "It doesn't work like that here. My family..." He paused, thinking it was rather ironic to think of them as his family when they certainly didn't act like one, "they're not like yours. They don't care what I have to say. Luke won't care what I have to say! He never does!"
He exhaled, his hands had gone into fists unintentionally.
Mrs. Kipling made a noise, displeased by his shout.
Shelby hummed, recognition lighting up in her eye. The look of someone who thought all the circumstances now all made sense. "Oh, I see."
"What?" He said uneasily.
"I get it now."
"What?"
"Luke," She said and his anxiety skyrocketed. "That's your brother, right? It makes sense now. You two have a problem, don't you?"
We've had a problem
She took his silence as a confirmation. "It's okay, you know. Lots of siblings have fights. It's normal."
"Yes, well. Our situation isn't exactly normal." He shouldn't have said that. Now he was just encouraging her.
"Why?"
"It just isn't."
"Mitch was right, you're such a loser. I don't know why mom and dad got you."
"I wish you were never adopted!"
"Mitch was right about you."
"About you being a freak."
"Ravi," Shelby was smiling softly at him. She came over and he assumed she planned on giving him a hug-a fact he was resigned to. She didn't. Most peculiarly, she punched his shoulder. It didn't hurt by any means, but it was certainly odd. He stared at her.
What was that?
"Luke's your brother. He loves you. Maybe he doesn't know how to handle what he's feeling."
He almost snorted. That was not it. "Try again. Luke isn't like that."
"You don't know that," Shelby said wisely. "Maybe you don't know him as well as think you do. Your family doesn't know you very well."
Ravi said nothing.
Shelby pushed up her glasses which had fallen down her nose. "It'll get better," she said optimistically.
"I doubt it."
"You just have to believe."
He sighed. That was pure nonsense.
"I don't think you believe me," she remarked airily.
"I don't."
"You should."
"Why?" he flung his hands in the air. "Why should I when nothing goes well for me? You insist for me to believe and trust that things will change but it won't! It's been like this for a few years now and it's not going to get better!"
"Sure it will," Shelby was infuriatingly calm. "You just have to believe."
Ravi let out a ragged breath of air. The anger that flared up dissipated away. He felt too exhausted to deal with it, let alone to go in circles with Shelby. "You're so sure."
"Because it's true," she said. "I can talk to them, if you'd like to see if that helps-"
"No," he said firmly. "Absolutely not."
"-but you should really do it yourself," she continued as if he hadn't interrupted her.
His eyes lingered on Shelby for the longest time. She simply smiled, not at all unnerved by his staring. Finally, she said,
"What do you wanna do now?"
/
"...Why did you punch my shoulder earlier?"
"You seemed comfortable with my hugs."
"I am."
"So I did something different. Why? Did I hurt you?"
"No."
"That's good."
/
It was sometime later. Shelby skipped out of the penthouse, cheerfully bidding Ravi a goodbye. He could admit that, excluding the little talk that happened earlier, it wasn't as bad as he anticipated it being.
That was a scary thought.
He thought he might actually be getting used to her presence. Maybe he already was and he just hadn't accepted it yet.
Ravi was on his way to the staircase when he was abruptly pulled by the back of his shirt. He let out a gasp of alarm, whirling around to find Luke standing there.
Oh what now?
"We need to talk."
1. I know they're doing a lot of talking right now but we'll see from regular friendship stuff from them soon
2. School starts next week so back to slow updates but I know what I'm doing for the next chapter so hopefully it won't take that long. I wrote this chapter in 2 days so it's plausible maybe I'll get the update out within a week or 2 (maybe...)