Even with Leonardo joining them, the fight was desperate. The leader had drawn Karai's attention, but even so, there were just too many enemies, and the turtles were growing tired.
Not to mention the condition Leonardo had been in last night. He'd been so out of it, and after that he'd just slept – how was he here now? And his hands, they were still so hurt- they'd managed to throw quick glances his way as they fought their own fight, but hadn't seen Leo hold his swords. He'd been just dodging Karai's attacks while she poured her fury onto him.
"We need to get ta Leo and get the hell out of here," Raph grunted as he threw his sai into the side of the ninja that had been aiming his sword at Mikey. He jumped after the ninja he'd taken down and yanked his sai free from his side, already twisting his body to deliver another attack. "I don't know... how much longer I can keep this up."
"Me neither," Mikey called, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. "Let's try that thing from before- let's focus on one spot and clear a way."
But no matter how many ninjas they took down, more would always replace them. Did Karai have the whole Foot army gathered here? No, probably not, but reforces had had time to get here during the prolonged fight. Maybe there were even more on the way.
Karai's sharp cry stole their attention. She had been thrown on her back, the Shredder's helmet lying on the ground next to her. Leonardo stood above her, now holding both of his katana.
But what took their whole attention was the black fog rising from the floor, moving like black tendrils, holding Karai's sword. The fog was faint and was already dissipating, and the sword clattered to the floor.
"What… what happened to you?" They heard Karai ask as she stared up at the turtle. "What are you?"
That made them look back at their brother, and they all felt their heart skip a beat. Leonardo looked down at Karai with the demon's black eyes.
"Get up," Leonardo said coldly, ignoring her question. Karai pounced up and backflipped away from him, grabbing a tanto from her belt. When Leonardo dashed after her again, the turtles were drawn back to the fight around them and had to look away.
But… the atmosphere had changed. The soldiers weren't coming at them as harshly as before- some of them simply stood at the side, their eyes on the fight between Leonardo and Karai. Some of them even had to get out of their way, and the ones that ran to help their Mistress were swept away by Leonardo's swords. He was quickly taking over the battlefield, coating the already messy floor with the blood of Karai's soldiers as he slowly but surely neared Karai. The situation had been reversed with Karai now on the defense.
"I don't understand," Karai gasped as Leonardo beheaded an approaching ninja without even glancing their way, like it had taken him no effort at all. He didn't even flinch from the splatter of blood. "You won the last time we fought- why did you feel the need to turn to a demon for help?"
"I didn't seek a demon for help," Leonardo said, his voice lacking any emotion. "The demon attacked us, but my family got rid of it. Now I'm just using what's left of it."
"It does not seem that way to me," Karai hissed, jumping out of the way of his katana. "You do not even realize what it is doing to you. You have made a grave mistake, Leonardo-"
Karai had managed to dodge yet another slash from the turtle's katana, but his second sword was already following the strike of the first. She leaned back just in time- the blood-coated blade cut through her hair, but missed her throat.
Her heart was beating against her chest. This- this wasn't Leonardo. Not completely, at least. The black eyes were enough to show it. She couldn't fight this, but- if something dark had taken over the mutant… she wouldn't have to lift a hand to get rid of the turtles. Leonardo- the darkness in him- would do it for her.
Out of the corner of her eye Karai saw that more Foot ninja had arrived to the scene, currently taking in the bloody state of the building. Even if Leonardo had this new, powerful advantage, his brothers were badly worn out from the fight. She could still get revenge on her own.
"Finish the other three!" Karai ordered while once again backing away from Leonardo. As she had suspected, her order made Leonardo stop pursuing her, making him turn towards his surrounded brothers instead.
The Foot ninja were once more fully focused on the turtles. They had managed to take down a lot of the Foot forces, unconscious and dead bodies lying around them on the bloody floor. Despite that they didn't seem fearful; the turtles were clearly exhausted, wounded and bleeding, breathing hard. Outnumbered, they were now easy prey. Still they kept their weapons up, preparing themselves to fight until they simply couldn't anymore.
The fallen ninja were surrounded by their dropped weapons. Swords, kunais, kamas, tanto blades- and the second one of the Foot ninja took a step towards the wounded turtles, said weapons started to rise from the floor.
The Foot didn't have time to do more than to turn their heads before the countless weapons were thrust forward. What followed was bloodshed; most of the strikes weren't deadly, just stabbing the ninja into their arms, legs, sides, chests, backs, but some of the weapons managed to cut open throats and stomachs, painting the already bloody floor with more red.
Leonardo hadn't even moved from where he stood. He had simply lifted his hand towards the weapons to make them move. His brothers, startled from the sudden bloodshed, looked his way, but Leonardo turned away from them to face Karai again. He lowered his hand and met Karai's eyes, staring at her with cold eyes as he watched her take in what had just happened. The group of ninja that had just arrived had been gravely injured in less than a minute. Only some of them had been hit, but it seemed that it wouldn't take much effort for the turtle to change that.
This time Leonardo didn't need to even say anything. No words to stay away from his family. The look in his eyes promising more death was enough.
"Foot ninja, retreat!" Karai shouted the moment she managed to get the words out, and jumped back. Foot soldiers surrounded her, securing her escape through the back of the building while the others helped the injured soldiers towards the exits.
Before she disappeared, she cast one last look over her shoulder. Leonardo stood in the middle of her fallen soldiers, blood covering his legs, plastron, arms, face. But through the blood the thing that stood out the most were his black eyes, staring right into her soul. Something gleamed in his hand before he moved it-
She moved just in time to not get a shuriken into her forehead, and then she was gone. It was raining outside, but the cold air greeting her wasn't the reason for why she shivered.
The fight was over. With Karai's command, Foot soldiers started to retreat.
As soon as there was no danger of any of the Foot ninjas turning around and throwing shurikens or arrows their way as a parting gift, the turtles slumped down onto the floor, exhausted and bleeding. They knew they should seize the opportunity and leave before Karai changed her mind or decided to send someone after them, but they needed a moment to catch their breath and let the fact sink in that they were still alive and breathing.
But even if the Foot was gone, the danger wasn't. The worn turtles watched Leonardo, who stood with his shell turned to them, watching the darkness where Karai and her ninjas had disappeared to. The night had gotten darker during the fight, and the warehouse was very dimly lit so as to not draw attention to the outside. Not like the building had any windows, except for the one on the roof.
"Did… did that really happen?" Michelangelo whispered, looking at the amount of blood around them. Most of the soldiers hit by the floating weapons had managed to limp away, but the sight was still gruesome. A lot of the unconscious ninja were the result of their fight, but it had been startling how quickly, how effortlessly Leonardo had injured so many of them.
They didn't want to dwell on it, but for one heart-stopping moment they hadn't been sure who the floating weapons had been aiming for. Leonardo's hand had been outstretched towards them, his eyes black and his gaze so cold-
"And did you see his eyes? And the- the black smoke or- or whatever that was?" Michelangelo kept whispering, hoping he'd just imagined what he'd seen. But… they had heard Karai talk about a demon. She had definitely seen the black eyes as well, and had immediately thought of a demon. No wonder- she had been the one they had stolen the Heart of Tengu from; she was familiar with the supernatural. "It… it can't be… right?"
Just then, Leonardo turned around. He was a gnarly sight, covered in blood. But then again, so were they.
What they noted first was that his eyes weren't black. But that said nothing, the demon had been able to mask his presence before. They watched as Leonardo sheathed one sword, and flinched when he started to walk towards them.
Michelangelo felt a flash of distant fear. His brother had blood all over him, the sword in his hand was coated with it, his eyes were cold, fixated on him. His eyes weren't black, but they'd just been, and everything about him reminded Michelangelo of the demon. He was kneeling on the floor, but on an instinct, he backed away, still on his knees. But he couldn't go further than that – Leonardo's hard gaze nailed him in place.
"Stay away from him," he heard Raphael growl. He felt Donatello and Raphael shift closer, felt how tense they were, but before they could move between him and Leonardo, the eldest was standing in front of him and dropped down to one knee to be on level with him. When Leonardo reached for him with his free hand Michelangelo wanted to close his eyes and lean back, fearing for the worst, for the demon to hurt him like it had done so many times… but he was too tired to do even that much. How could he even fight something like the demon when he was too tired to barely move a muscle?
Michelangelo flinched when Leonardo's hand touched his chin, confusion filling him when instead of punching or strangling him like the demon would do Leonardo used his hand to simply tilt his head to the side. Michelangelo watched him out of the corner of his eye, and… realized that Leonardo had moved his head so that he could look at the wound on his neck.
He saw Leonardo frown. The leader let go of him and stood back up, his eyes on their brothers now. Looking them over, his gaze visiting every cut and bruise. Then he turned and drew the sword he had just sheathed, his eyes on the exit Karai had used.
Before Mikey thought more about it, his hand shot up and he grabbed Leo's wrist.
"Don't," Mikey said hastily. "Don't go after her."
Leo turned back to glance at him, his eyes lacking any emotion, making Mikey momentarily regret grabbing him. But he kept his hold; if it really was the demon, why would it act like this? Why would it simply look at their wounds and then turn away from him as if to go after their enemies instead of using the opportunity to hurt them? It had been so mad at them at the tunnel, when they had destroyed its circle- if it was here now, wouldn't it want to pay them back?
Unless it was weak again, able to be in control only momentarily. Maybe Leo was holding it back like he'd done before, so maybe this really was Leo; it would explain why he'd looked at their injuries, why he still wanted to go after Karai. After she had destroyed their home, Leo had given her one last chance. Now she had hurt them again, so… it'd explain why Leo still wanted to go after her.
But why the empty look in his eyes, why the silence? Maybe the demon's visit had left him a little messed up, well, even more than he had already been. Either way, they had to take him back to the lair to figure this out. Even if the demon was giving his brother some kind of a boost that was keeping him up and moving, he could see that some of the blood on Leonardo was his. His shoulder, for example, was still lazily bleeding, blood trickling down his arm. They had to get back to get their own wounds treated as well – so that they'd have even a chance at dealing with the demon if it really was back.
Instead of listening to him, Leonardo turned his head away and took a step forward, Michelangelo's bloody fingers slipping from his brother's wrist.
"We're hurt," Mikey said hurriedly, making his voice tremble slightly, making sure to wince as well to really sell his act. Acting more hurt and vulnerable than he actually was (well, he was pretty vulnerable at the moment, so he wasn't exactly exaggerating with his pained grimace) was the way to get Leo to listen. At least… at least normally it was, but things were far from normal at the moment. "Let's just go home, please, Leo?"
Maybe he was making a mistake, letting the demon see how defenseless he was and trying to take it home with them. But, demon or not, it was still Leo in there as well, and he didn't want his brother running around the city alone with his head messed up like this.
Leo stood still again. Rain fell down against the roof of the building, a steady sound over the silence that had fallen between the four of them.
And slowly, Leo turned back towards them and sheathed both of his swords. At least he tried to; he had trouble lifting his left arm above his head, the cut in his shoulder seemingly making it difficult for him to lift said limb. Letting his arm fall back down he simply made the sword float into its sheath, and his brothers could only stare. Moving the arm must've hurt, but Leo hadn't as much as grimaced, and using the power now didn't seem to be making his head hurt since his face stayed perfectly neutral.
After sheathing his swords Leo walked back to Mikey, and offered him his hand. Mikey looked up at his bandaged hand, coated with blood- was that the blood of their enemies, or Leo's? Under those bandages his hands were still cut and injured. But he'd been able to wield his swords, so maybe letting him help him up from the floor wouldn't matter at this point. After the short hesitation he took his hand, letting Leo pull him up from the floor. This time Mikey definitely winced for real, his wounds and sore body protesting the sudden movement.
Leo's face didn't change. There was no worry, Leo didn't ask if he was alright. His look stayed the same, like he… like he just didn't care. Leo could get pretty serious after a big fight, becoming distant- but he didn't act like this. He'd say at least something, offer an arm he could lean on, he- he wouldn't be so cold.
Once he was on his feet, Leo let go of him. He turned to their brothers, and so did Mikey. He saw their hesitation when Leo offered a hand to them as well, but they ended up accepting the small help Leo gave them. When everyone was standing again Leo turned his back to them once more. He looked around, watching the surrounding darkness of the building. Maybe- just maybe he was acting like this because he was still on the edge. Still wary, unsure if the fight was really over, not allowing himself to sigh from relief just yet. Maybe.
"So, uh…" Raph placed his weapons back onto his belt hesitantly, keeping his eyes firmly on Leo. "...We goin' back ta the lair?"
All three turtles wanted to address the issue, the black eyes, the black smoke. But with their injuries and exhaustion, with no way of doing much of anything if the demon decided to attack… they had to pretend that everything was okay. Until they got back home and figured out what to do they had to pretend that somehow they were so stupid and exhausted that they hadn't seen the black eyes, that they weren't aware of the demon.
"We can't stay here," Don said. He put his weapon away as well. He didn't want to, but it was all part of the act. It was hoping that the demon thought it still had time before it had to show itself again, which in turn would give them time to plan against it.
So it was decided; they'd head back home, even if the demon was here again. Finally Leo looked away from the dark corners and turned back to them. They did what little they could to wrap the wounds that bled the most before they were ready to go. Mikey was still limping slightly, and Raph offered him a shoulder to lean on. Don stayed near them as Leo started to lead them back to the lair. It felt normal to follow his lead, but… none of them could shake the awful feeling of Leo looking at them like he barely cared, his eyes cold and distant.
They didn't know whether they were following their brother or the demon.
The rain was light but cold. It washed away some of the blood already drying on their skin, but made their open cuts sting. They took the shortest route underground.
The way to the lair was mostly silent. Words here and there; lean on me, we're almost there.
Master Splinter seemed shaken when he saw how bloody and battered they were, but he was quickly moving towards them to help them inside the lair. But before he had taken more than a few steps Leonardo, who still hadn't said a thing to them after joining the fight with Karai, stepped forward, cutting his way.
And they could all see how tense he suddenly was. How his right arm twitched up in a way that was familiar to all of them; his hand lifted for his sword, but paused, and now Leonardo simply stood frozen in place as if he was confused by something.
Then, just as suddenly as he had moved between Master Splinter and his brothers, he was walking again. Master Splinter watched after him for a second before turning back to the rest of the turtles, confusion clear in his eyes. The others just shook their heads, and Donatello mouthed the words explanation later.
Leonardo was heading for the showers, and the rest followed, wary and tired. Nobody was hurt so badly that they didn't have the time to get toweled off first; at the moment, the cold rain sticking to their skin was more of a threat than the lazily bleeding wounds. While washing away the blood they rid themselves of their wet gear so that they wouldn't leave a trail of water and blood behind them as they went to the sick bay.
The others had left their weapons to the bathroom to clean them later, although they had seemed a bit hesitant to leave them behind, especially since Leonardo didn't leave his weapons. He took his swords with him to the sickbay, placing them to lean against the wall by the door. Leonardo started to grab antiseptic sprays and bandages and then helped his brothers with their wounds. The blue turtle had a few wounds of his own, the one near the scarred spot of his shell being the worst, but otherwise he was mostly unharmed.
Master Splinter seemed anxious to know what had happened, but his sons were silent. The atmosphere in the room was tense, and the Sensei noted how effortlessly his eldest used his wounded hands to treat the wounds of his brothers. The only thing he seemed to struggle with was lifting his left arm up, for the wound in his shoulder was more than just a simple cut. Miraculously it didn't seem to need stitches, but it was still lightly hindering Leonardo's movements. When Splinter stepped in to take over, not wanting Leonardo to continue using his hurt hands, the turtle simply glanced at him without emotion, not stopping what he was doing.
And despite the lack of emotion in his son's eyes, the meaning of the cold glance was obvious. Keep away.
Something had happened during the fight, that much was clear. Splinter didn't ask questions, not yet, for Donatello had said they'd talk later. For now, he made sure that no injury went unnoticed.
Once everything had been taken care of, Splinter expected the exhausted and quiet turtles to leave the sick bay. Instead, they seemed hesitant, each one of them stealing careful glances towards Leonardo, who still hadn't said a word since they had returned. He was simply rewrapping his own hands now, since he hadn't allowed anyone to do it for him; Raphael had offered to do it, but Leonardo had simply turned away from him.
Leonardo was giving the silent treatment to everyone, but Splinter saw that the other turtles didn't receive the cold glares he did. The old mutant thought back to the conversation they'd had before Leonardo had left.
There are other things you can do for your brothers besides fighting, Splinter had told him.
If they're in trouble, what else is there for me to do than to fight? Leonardo had asked. There had been something bitter in his voice, but Leonardo had never turned away if his brothers were in trouble, no matter the situation, no matter how hurt he was. He'd always wanted to be there for them when they needed him. So the bitterness hadn't been aimed at his brothers, but perhaps to himself? Perhaps Leonardo had been frustrated that he'd had to depend on the power he'd been using. Perhaps he had been frustrated that he hadn't already been with his brothers, fighting alongside them.
Or perhaps... perhaps he had been pushed too far, this time? His hands had been in a bad shape, and he'd been forced to use them again. Had too much pain, too many expectations been placed on him? That's why Splinter had tried to talk to him about how he knew how much responsibility he had placed on him, how that responsibility shouldn't be so much that it'd hurt him. But, in the end, it had done just that. He had sent him into a fight while he had still been recovering, and something in him had changed during the fight. After how he had pushed Leonardo last night, and now sent him to fight while so injured, had he become resentful of him?
It's fine, Sensei, Leonardo had said before he had left, with as much respect as always. What had changed his behavior like this? Had he truly been pushed past his limit?
He'd owed an apology to his eldest for a good while now, but this wasn't the right time and place. His sons were all hurt and tired; he would need to properly speak with Leonardo later.
"I am more than relieved that you are all safe," Splinter broke the silence that had fallen over them. It pained his heart to see how his words startled his younger sons; they were still on the edge after a hard battle. Only the eldest glanced at him coolly. Master Splinter could feel a headache forming in the back of his head, definitely caused by all the stress, but he ignored it for now, only taking a deep breath before speaking. "It is late. Go to bed. A lot has happened tonight, and we have a lot to talk about tomorrow."
Leonardo was the first one to stand up. He glanced at his brothers, looked them over one last time, grabbed his swords and exited the room. After being sure that Leonardo was far enough not to hear, the three remaining turtles cast desperate glances at their Father, and after the long silence, the room was filled with words.
"There's something wrong with Leo," Mikey began. "A lot of something. During the fight, he- he used the power again, and he moved so many weapons at the same time, and the black fog, and his eyes-"
"His eyes were black, Sensei," Don joined in, his voice tight. "He… he didn't try to hurt us, very much the opposite- but he acted so… so different, so distant… could it… could the demon still be here?"
"His eyes were black and he used that crazy power," Raph said, looking at his brothers, "of course it's the demon! Shit- what should we do, Sensei? We destroyed the circle-"
A figure leaned against the wall next to the door of the sick bay, staring down at the floor as he listened to them speculate about the demon. Leonardo pushed himself away from the wall and started to walk away, his footsteps not making a sound.
He was headed to his room, but he passed the bathroom as he went, and paused. He stepped into the room and glanced at the weapons left to dry there. Don's bō, Mikey's nunchaku, Raph's sai. There was still some blood on them, slowly flowing down on the floor, down the drain of the shower.
When he took a step forward, Leonardo caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He turned to properly look at it. Nothing out of the ordinary, there wasn't blood on his face anymore, but… he saw the dullness in his eyes, how empty they were. But when the bathroom light caught them at the right angle, there was a hint of a shine in them. A reflection of light, just like the blade of a sword. It made him feel nothing.
After giving everything away, he was empty; nothing but a blade.
And like a blade, he needed to be used. He needed to fight. It was all that was left, the need to fight and the knowledge to protect. How could there be anything else left? Memories and experience were what made a person what they were. How they reacted to things, how they acted in certain situations. Memories were what had made Leonardo what he was, but without them, there was no Leonardo. Maybe there was something remaining, but he wasn't what Leonardo had used to be. He was something new. Something that didn't have or need the old memories, whether they were good or bad. He didn't need the strengths and weaknesses caused by them.
The only thing he was slightly confused about was why he had almost lifted his sword against his Sensei. Everything felt like a threat, but he shouldn't have. He was family, the very thing he was supposed to protect, so why did he feel so cold towards him?
He shook his head. A lot had happened, he was still adjusting to everything. As long as he had this will to protect his family, this drive to fight, he didn't need anything else. He didn't need to be anything else. Being the sword his clan needed was enough.
He wasn't sure if those were his thoughts, or the whispers in his head that had been there ever since the fight. It was impossible to ignore them, but he didn't fight them, for they were the reason he could keep fighting. They'd tried to take over him, but they'd been stupid to be so eager to take what he had offered them; they had made the mistake of taking his weak parts first. With them gone, he'd been able to bend the shadows to his will, to use their power as he pleased. Now they were the ones in the back of his mind, present, but unable to take his control.
But that didn't stop them from whispering, and there was no way not to listen. When they told him the fight had been cut short, that it wasn't over, that their enemies would come after his family again and again he knew he had to strap his swords back against his shell and go after them. His worn body protested the idea of going back outside, but whenever he felt stiff or sore the shadows muffled the pain.
They told him to be quiet when he exited the lair. And if something distant rose from the back of his mind- a thought that he shouldn't go, his family would worry, a feeling that this was wrong, he shouldn't listen to the darkness, he was fighting the wrong enemy if he went out- they soothed that too, pushed the thoughts and feelings that made his head ache back down and told him it would be alright.
As he started to walk there was just one problem; he had no idea where to go. He'd given away so much of himself, crucial info about their enemies as well. All he could recall was the building where they'd just fought, but he knew their enemies were no longer there. Where had the woman in the metal armor gone? He couldn't even remember her name, just saw the red glowing eyes when he thought of her. He winced- there was more, thunder roaring across the dark sky above, the sharp strike of those metal claws, the feeling of them sinking into his plastron, the same suit but a deeper voice, an older enemy, and older memory with a broken window and-
The shadows pushed it away.
He had barely gotten anywhere from the entrance of the lair before he sensed a presence. Someone had gotten this close to their home- had they been followed after the fight? Footsteps were getting nearer, and Leonardo withdrew into the darkness of the tunnel to hide. The shadows kept him hidden, safe, just like the ones in his head.
Quickly Leonardo realized that he was sensing just one person, and it didn't take long before Leonardo could see her. She wasn't wearing any kind of armor, no weapons. He allowed her to walk past him before following after her quietly, watching her carefully. She wore no black with a red sign, but her red hair was familiar. It had become so difficult to remember things- was she familiar because she was an enemy? Was he letting an enemy walk straight towards their home? They had been followed after all, but it was strange that she wasn't carrying any weapons. Even if she was just a spy, it was odd.
The sound of his sword gliding out of its sheath got her attention, and she whirled around, clearly startled. He had allowed her to hear the sound, hoping that seeing her face would make him remember something about her… but no. She was incredibly familiar, he felt a weird ache at not remembering, and she didn't awaken the need to sink his sword into her like the thought of the metal armor and the red eyes did- so what was she, what was he supposed to do about this situation?
"Leo," she gasped, making him tilt his head; at least she knew his name. "Wow, you really scared me. I've told you guys I hate it when you sneak up on me like that!"
She pressed a hand over her heart, exhaling deeply. "I know it's late for a visit, but the others were supposed to visit me earlier tonight. Donnie hasn't been answering my calls so I just- felt like I should drop by to see if everything's okay." She was now eyeing his bandages and the fresh bruises. "Did- did something happen, Leo? You're hurt- why are you out here? Are the others alright?"
So many questions. Her voice made his head hurt. It hurt the way it had hurt when he'd been fighting earlier- and the way to get rid of it had been to spill blood. The shadows were already encouraging him to lift his sword, but… the way she spoke, she didn't sound like a threat at all, she sounded like she knew them and she seemed worried about him and his brothers. She couldn't be an enemy, but the shadows were louder than his trust, so he reached for his sword. He took a step forward, and the woman lowered her gaze on the sword in his hand.
"Leo?" she asked, sounding nervous. "Leo, what's with the sword-?"
He took another step forward, and this time she started to back away. She looked up at his eyes, and Leonardo saw the fear in them. She was afraid. His enemies had been afraid, too, when they'd watched him behead their comrades earlier tonight. Did that make her an enemy? Why would an ally be afraid of him?
They were close enough to the lair to suddenly hear the doors of the entrance hiss open. The woman turned around and started to run; Leonardo shot after her, hand going to his belt, fishing out a shuriken.
Light poured out from the lair when he got her into his sights again. She was quickly getting closer to his brothers standing by the open doors – Leonardo threw the shuriken without another thought, aiming it at her back, unwilling to let an enemy enter their home.
The throw had been fast, precise, sharp. Yet the shuriken didn't hit its intended mark.
For some reason Raphael had jumped forward and pulled the human out of the way- and now, instead of finding its way into the human's back, the shuriken was sticking out of Raphael's bicep. He'd taken it with a groan and gritted teeth – he could've thrown his sai to deflect the shuriken, but then again, he had just stumbled into the situation, so perhaps he just hadn't had the time to do so.
Once again Leonardo felt confusion. Why? Why had Raph taken the hit? Had the shadows been wrong about her?
"Raph!" Don and Mikey were quickly standing by his side, but their eyes were on the dark tunnel instead of their brother. They stood between him and Raph, hiding him from view, protecting him from a possible second attack. Protecting Raph from him.
More emotions pushed forward, but it was difficult to distinguish them, for he felt the shadows pull on them, trying to smother them- he felt regret, he was sorry-
Until the feelings were swept away again, leaving him with an empty void in his chest.
"Leo?" Michelangelo asked, squinting at the dark.
"April, are you alright?" Donatello asked, looking the human over.
"Yes, I'm- I'm fine," she – April, Don had called her, and it sounded so frustratingly familiar – answered a little shakily.
Now both Don and Mikey were staring at him, and he stepped forward in order to stand in proper light. "I was mistaken," Leo said simply, seeing April still looking at him with wide eyes. He looked away from her, past his brothers at the shuriken in Raph's arm. "I'm sorry. We should get that looked at."
They all just stared at him.
"Leo- you threw that," Don said slowly, carefully. They were all tense, ready to move away from him. Right. He'd heard them speak of the demon before he'd left. They thought it had made him do this. "Why?"
"I… I was mistaken," Leo repeated. Then he took another look at his brothers- why had they been by the lair's entrance? "Were you about to go somewhere?"
"Yeah, we were gonna go after you," Raph hissed, stepping forward, pushing Mikey and Don to the side to stand in front of him, uncaring about the pain in his arm. His fear of the demon seemed to fade, giving way to anger. "The moment ya thought we weren't looking ya left the lair. Where did ya think ya were going? And what the fuck was that, throwing that shuriken at April- the fuck do ya mean ya were mistaken?"
"It means just that. I didn't realize I shouldn't have done that," Leo said evenly. "I left to do what I'm supposed to; I was weak before because of my hands, but I can do my job now. And you," he cast a cold look at all of his brothers, "you're not leaving the lair without me, like you did earlier tonight. Understood?"
Raph just gaped at him, not understanding how Leo was able to so casually lecture them after just having hit him with a shuriken. He was about to keep arguing but Don stepped forward to talk.
"Leo, if you're upset about us leaving without you, we did it because you were in no condition to come with us- I mean, we thought you weren't," Don explained. "We didn't even think that we'd get into a fight, we were just supposed to visit April. We were almost at her place when we saw Foot ninja and decided to see what they were up to- we didn't mean to fight. You weren't well, and I don't think that you're well now either if you were mistaken about April- we just- we worry, you almost hurt her very badly, we don't have any idea what's going on with you-"
"Nothing is, I'm better now," Leo cut in. "I made a mistake, and I won't make it again. I know I've worried you, but it's fine, really. I feel better. l feel better now that the distractions are gone."
"Distractions? What do you mean?" Don asked, but Leo's attention was already elsewhere. Since Raph hadn't listened to him when he'd said his arm needed to be looked at, he simply grabbed his unhurt arm and started to drag him back inside the lair.
Raph planted his feet to the ground, refusing to follow.
"What the fuck, Leo? Ya use the power and turn all weird, and now you can just boss us around while acting like a completely different person?" Raph growled lowly while yanking his arm from Leo's grip. "Don't ya think that ya should be explaining what the hell is goin' on?"
Don blinked at Raph's angry tone. They had talked about this with Splinter just before hearing the entrance of the lair open, just before they'd realized that Leo had left, before they'd gone after him. They didn't know if the demon was still here or not, but before hearing the door they had managed to decide to take things slow, starting by trying to talk to Leo. Last time they'd forced the demon to show itself, and that had caused Leo unnecessary pain. Well, maybe not unnecessary for it had finally revealed the demon, allowing them to work on getting it out of their brother.
Though right now it seemed like they hadn't done a very good job at getting rid of it. If the demon showed up now, they probably couldn't do much against it, still being exhausted from tonight's fight. Fighting the demon would be difficult even if they weren't injured, so right now it just wouldn't end well. Maybe half of Raph's anger was real, maybe half of it was just a straightforward way to get some answers. If they'd get Leo to respond to the anger, maybe they'd get more info than with the careful approach. It'd be a relief to see at least some emotion on Leo's face.
Leo walked back inside the lair, since they were all still standing by the door. Everyone followed him back in, and Mikey pressed the button to close the doors before turning to April.
"April, maybe you should step into the kitchen?" Mikey suggested carefully, and when she nodded he started to guide the still shaken-looking human towards their kitchen. Don glanced at her with apologetic eyes; she definitely shouldn't have been the target of Leo's strange and dangerous behavior.
"I'm not that different," Leo finally answered Raph's angry questions, seeming completely unbothered by the way Raph had raised his voice. "What's different is that the weak part is gone. Something… something else too, I think, but it hardly matters."
Weak part. He had to be talking about the part he had been suppressing, the part of him that had still been afraid and hurting.
"What do you mean something else?" Don asked, although he was pretty sure that had to mean… well, other parts of him; things that made Leo himself, since he was now acting so out of character. Hostile towards April, passive towards them. Well, he still seemed to care about them, he'd helped them with their wounds before and now he was trying to take care of Raph's wound, but… he was doing it all so emotionlessly. "What exactly happened?"
"They're gone," Leo repeated while glancing at him. "I couldn't protect you while they existed."
"Yer talking like we need your constant babysitting-" Raph grumbled, but Don spoke over him.
"Wasn't all that still a part of you? Why- why are you talking about this like it doesn't matter?"
Leo tilted his head at him. "Because it doesn't. I gave them away-"
"You gave them away?Why, Leo?" Don sounded slightly desperate now. He couldn't understand why Leo would've done something like that. Didn't he see how it hurt them to see him like this? "You gave parts of yourself away? That's- that's why you're acting like this, why you're so different. You're- you're not yourself at all. You don't even care that we're upset about this- you- Leo would care."
Even when spoken so desperately to, Leo's expression didn't change. "I'm sorry I upset you." So he said, but his tone stayed monotone. "I do care. That's why I gave it all away. Now, Raph…"
Leo grabbed Raph's arm again, but he still resisted until Don touched the red turtle's shoulder.
"He's right," Don said, controlling his voice, but it was clear he was still upset. "You still have a shuriken in your arm, let's take care of that first."
Raph yanked his arm from Leo's grip for the second time and started to walk towards the sick bay on his own. Leo watched him go and started to follow- when suddenly he swayed a little, causing Don to grab his arm in a hurry.
"Leo?" Don asked, already scanning him with his eyes, but all his injuries received in the fight before were bandaged and none of them had bled through.
"I'm fine," Leo mumbled, holding a hand to his head. So it was that again. Don held his arm with a tighter grip. Leo had used the power during the fight and apparently it was now costing him. Though, even if he hadn't used it, there should be no wondering why he swayed- just the other night he'd lost consciousness after using the power at the docks, and he'd spent the next day in his room without even having eaten anything. And now the fight with Karai... if the demon really was back, even if not the same way it had been before but still in some form, it could be draining him again. It was no wonder Leo was feeling weak.
They entered the sick bay, and Don helped Leo sit down before moving to take a look at Raph's arm. He had already yanked the shuriken out himself, and Don frowned at him.
"Could've waited until I had my tools ready," Don mumbled, now in a hurry to stop the wound from bleeding so much. "You know better than to just yank things out without having something ready to stop the bleeding."
Mikey appeared in the room. "Master Splinter's with April," he said. "She said she was visiting because we never showed up like we were supposed to."
Don sighed at himself as he cleaned Raph's wound. "So much has happened, I completely forgot to send her a text. Is she okay?"
"Yeah, said she was startled, but now she's just confused." Mikey glanced at Leo, who was sitting by the side, holding his head. "And well, she's not the only one."
Leo glanced up at that, realizing Mikey was talking about him. "It's not that complicated, really."
"Then explain," Raph huffed, hissing when antiseptic spray was applied to his injury.
"I was weak," Leonardo began, standing up. He lifted his hand and unsheathed one of his swords, making his brothers flinch back, but Leonardo didn't seem to notice. Or maybe he just ignored their reaction. "I was hurt and weak, I couldn't use my hands at all. The demon made me destroy my own hands, and well, I guess I did it partly myself- but the demon also left me a way to use my swords despite the pain."
Leo looked down at the sword in his hand, spinning it once, just to show how easily he could hold it. When he lifted his gaze, his eyes were black, making his brothers automatically grab for their own weapons. But they weren't there- they were still in the bathroom, waiting to be cleaned. Leonardo saw the reaction, and in response he sheathed his sword and held his hands up. "It's just me, I'm in control, this just happens now when I use the power. I'm sorry it scares you, I'm sorry you flinch when I draw my sword near you… but it doesn't matter. As long as I'm able to protect you, it doesn't matter."
Before his brothers could get a chance to say something, he continued.
"The power did take something in exchange. Memories, I suppose, so I'm sorry if I get confused at times. Like… with April, just now." Leonardo shifted a little before continuing. "Feelings, too. I feel… glimpses of things, but mostly… nothing." He placed his left hand on his chest, over his heart. "I don't feel weak… or anything else, really. Everything feels so… empty," Leonardo said, his voice hollow now. "But I guess I'll get used to it."
For a moment there was something else than the emptiness in his eyes- but it was gone so soon they weren't sure if they'd really seen it.
"I'm not weak. That's what matters." Leonardo's voice was so firm, so confident in how easily, dismissively it was said, that for a moment his brothers just stared at him.
And then it sank in just what their brother had done to himself. And his reaction to it was… was that there was no reaction. After the docks, when Leo had thought he was losing his memories he had reacted with panic and despair, but now… now that he'd actually forgotten so much, there was just nothing. There couldn't be – he'd given away his ability to feel anything about what he'd done.
"What do you remember?" Michelangelo finally carefully asked.
Leonardo thought about it, then shrugged. "I… I'm not sure... If I try to think further back than these past few weeks, it's, uh… mostly nothing." Leonardo seemed to be searching for words. "I remember things from the lair, but the outside world feels… distant. When we were getting back from the fight I felt like I was walking through the city for the first time, but a part of me knew the way back to the lair, so I just followed that feeling. I felt like I should walk around and try to remember, but that's when I ran into April."
"That's why you were asking for stories from last summer," Mikey realized, his voice quiet. He started to walk closer to Leo. "You were starting to forget, even back then."
"I don't know," Leo said, "I don't really remember asking anything like that."
"But you remember us?" Don asked hesitantly.
"Of course I do," Leo said immediately.
"What's my favorite TV show?" Mikey asked, now standing right in front of Leo. "What's the best way to get Don from his lab when he's holed up in there? Where does Raph hide his beer?"
"What? He knows about that?" Raph muttered.
"Who's the dude Master Splinter always tells us stories about? What's your favorite tea?" Mikey kept staring at him. "Can you answer any of those?"
Leonardo blinked at him. And… shook his head. They all just stared at him again.
"You… you really don't remember," Mikey said slowly, only for his brother to confirm it with another small shake of his head. When he continued, his voice was shaky. "Then… then… you really gave it away? You gave yourself- you gave Leo away?"
"I'm right here, and I can fight again," Leonardo said, frowning a little. "Why do the other things matter so much?"
Donatello finished wrapping Raphael's arm, and the moment the gauze was in place Raphael stood up and walked over to them. He shoved Michelangelo out of the way and lifted his fist, but stopped himself right away. The memory of the last time he'd punched Leonardo was still fresh in his memory, and even though he was burning with emotion, he lowered his hand.
"What the fuck?" Raph demanded instead, his anger on full display in both his voice and in the look he was giving Leo. "Why the fuck would ya think we wanted ya ta do something like that? That we'd want ya to forget everything just so that ya could protect us-"
"I'm confused," Leo said, but it didn't show on his face. He was as emotionless as ever; he hadn't even flinched when Raph had momentarily lifted his fist. "I don't know why you're angry about it. It's my job to protect you, it's all that matters-"
"Shut up!" Raph growled. Something glistened in his eyes. "Just… shut up. Why did ya do it? Why did ya do it, ya stupid fucking self-sacrifing idiot, why-"
Don had followed his brothers, standing close now. He grabbed Leo's arm to get him to look at him.
"I'm sorry you were hurting so much you thought you had to do this," Don said sadly, something glistening in his eyes as well. "I'm sorry we didn't realize just how much you were hurting. I'm sorry you thought we'd rather have an emotionless weapon protecting us than you."
Three little brothers were looking at him, tears threatening to fall from their eyes. Why? He'd done so much to be able to protect them again, but they were hurt now. Hurt by him- again, just like when he'd thrown the shuriken. Just like when he'd failed to fight the darkness in him, when the demon had made him lift his swords-
No, that never happened, the shadows whispered. Forget about it. They're not hurt. They're just learning to cope with the new way of things. They'll get over it. Just forget, it's alright.
The concern that had appeared on his face faded away.
"It's alright," Leo echoed the shadows. He believed it, believed that it was alright, he just had to make his brothers see that. All three of them were close enough for him to open his arms and pull them close. They tensed at first, still wary of him and the possibility of the demon's presence. Leo's neutral voice wasn't bringing them any comfort either, but they were all exhausted from everything that had happened, and it had been a while since their big brother had offered them any physical comfort.
Faced with the reality of how bad things had just gotten, having no idea how to fix something like this, they were unable to help themselves. Longing for any sort of comfort they allowed Leo to embrace them, answering the hug by desperately clinging onto him.
"It's just the new way of things," Leo told them, holding them tightly. "It's alright."