XXX

And I'm back. Sorry it took me so long to post this, but crap was happening and I didn't feel up to posting.

In other news, that new video 3

Good stuff.

Anyway, here's the chapter:

XXX

When Janus heard the third string of knocking on his door in only two days, he was in the middle of working. Working, as in his actual job in the mindscape, not crocheting stuffed animals. He had half a mind to ignore it, seeing as it clearly wasn't Remus on the other side of the door (based on the even, reasonable volume of the knocks), but he thought there was some chance it could be either Logan or Virgil, and he wasn't really mad at either of them right then.

Of course, as his luck would have it, he found Roman on the other side, and this time, both halves of his mind told him to slam the door in his face.

But before he could, Roman stuck a foot into the doorway and put up a hand.

"Wait, before you try to close the door," he said. "Here."

Suddenly, something soft was pressed into his hands, and he held onto it reflexively. Looking down, he saw that it was his blanket.

"I used some magic from the imagination to get the stain out," Roman told him, rubbing the back of his neck, appearing much more awkward than he usually saw of the prince.

Janus just stared down at the blanket for a while.

He couldn't find a trace of pink in its stitches.

"Okay, so," Roman continued. "I'm sorry, and I should have just said that yesterday. I'll try to be more careful in the future, okay? And, well… I really did mean it when I apologized for the scheme Virgil and I made. It was a terrible thing to do to you, and we betrayed your trust, and I meant it when I said I was sorry. I really did. Even if we fight sometimes, I know that that was wrong of us."

Now, Janus's stare was directed at Roman. The man seemed sincere enough. But he usually seemed sincere. That didn't mean he was.

"… Are you actually sorry?" Janus asked quietly. "Because if you're not, I'd really prefer you just end the charade already."

Roman's eyes widened a tiny bit.

"No! No, I'm really sorry," he protested. "I learned my lesson about tricking you like that the first time, and I'm not going to do it again. I swear it on my sword."

Janus considered for a moment before he sighed, deflating in a way similar to how he had the night before with Patton.

In the brief silence, Janus appeared to resolve himself about something, and he opened his mouth to speak:

"… Roman, do you like me?"

"What?"

"I'm not asking in a self-pitying way," Janus huffed. "I want an actual answer: do you like me?"

Roman blinked at him.

"What- I mean- Yes? Of course I do?"

"Don't say 'Of course' with a questioning tone," Janus hissed, though there wasn't much behind it. "I don't want you to give me the answer you're expected to give. I want you to actually think about it and decide whether you do or not."

Janus crossed his arms defensively.

"I'm not an idiot, Roman. I know that the two of us have had a rocky relationship over the years, to say the least. I thought that changed. I thought we were friends," Janus continued. "And that was when you and Virgil decided to tell me about your little scheme. Lying and deception are a part of who I am, Roman, but just because my job involves lying doesn't mean I'm just going to be fine after a lie like that. It still hurt, and honestly, I haven't been so sure of your intentions ever since."

He grimaced.

"You don't have to try to be friends with me if you really don't want to," Janus told him. "We weren't friends for most of Thomas's life, so it's not like it'll change much for you if we just act as acquaintances. Because if you're just being friendly because you think you're supposed to or because you're a prince or whatever, then that's not the kind of friendship I want."

Janus didn't want to keep talking. Saying all this hurt, and not because he was being honest (because he wasn't being honest- not entirely. He didn't want to tell Roman it was okay to go back to how things were. That wasn't what he wanted. He wanted Roman to tell him that he didn't want that either. But if Roman wasn't going to say that, then Janus had to put this option out there. It would be better than the alternative, at least).

"I don't want you to be my friend on the outside while you hate me on the inside. I don't want it."

He could feel some moisture in the corner of his eyes, but only a little. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't.

And then, suddenly, he felt Roman's arms wrapping around him.

"I don't want that either."

At those words, Janus felt his heart break.

So, Roman didn't want to be his friend.

Alright.

That was fine.

And yet, he was crying.

"Woah, hey, hey, don't cry!" Roman exclaimed, pulling back. "I'm trying to say that I don't hate you! Because I don't! And we don't have to go back to being acquaintances or whatever, just…"

Janus rubbed at his eyes, trying to contain his own embarrassment at the display.

"Jan," Roman breathed. "I'm really sorry. I didn't know you were affected by all this so much."

"How could I not be affected?!"

"Okay, poor choice of words," Roman admitted. "I guess I mean- I knew it affected you, I just didn't realize the extent of it. Janus, it's not that I don't want to be your friend. I just get angry sometimes, not even always at you, but sometimes it is at you, just- past you? Like, I still get angry sometimes about stuff like the callback, and sometimes those feelings get mixed into whatever we're arguing about and I guess- whoo, just figured out what Virgil meant yesterday- anyway, what I'm trying to say is… sometimes old feelings get dredged up, so I don't always want to let things go or apologize. And that's what happened with the blanket thing."

Roman paused briefly in his rambling, but not enough for Janus to get a word in.

"But that doesn't mean that's how I want things to be," he said softly. "Because it isn't. So I'm sorry."

Then, silence fell like a sheet over them, wrapping them in soft but cold folds. Janus stared at Roman and gripped the blanket and eventually decided to tear through the (metaphorical) fabric.

"I believe we've had enough rehashing about the callback itself," Janus spoke, sighing. "But in terms of you and I during that whole fiasco…"

He gripped the blanket tighter.

"Well, to begin with, I was trying to get you something you wanted, so the fact that we ended up on different sides in that one still barely makes sense to me," Janus huffed. "But also: to be clear, I wasn't… entirely lying during a lot of it. Like, when I was complimenting you… I was trying to butter you up, but… well, the best lies are usually built on the truth… do you get what I'm saying?"

His face was burning red, the embarrassment overtaking the human half like wildfire.

This time, it was Roman's turn to stare.

"Oh. Well. Alright. Um"

"I'd ask if a cat got your tongue, but I'm a snake."

Roman put his hands together, the two of them grasping each other tightly in front of his chest.

"Okay, so, just to be clear, you're sorry, I'm double sorry, and we both want to try to be friends still?" he asked.

"I… suppose that sums things up."

"Okay. Good. So."

Roman rocked back and forth on his heels a few times.

"Right, so…"

He waved his hand in the air, and a stuffed dragon appeared there.

"This is for you. It's supposed to be a peace offering?" Roman offered. "I was going to give it to you with the blanket, but I forgot, so… Here."

And with that, Roman shoved the toy into his hands in the same way he had with the blanket.

"It's not a snake, but I figured you already had a snake, and I didn't remember seeing a dragon in your room, but… yeah. Thought you might like him?"

Janus looked down at the fabric reptile in his hands, taking note of the stitching. The stitches were neat but just a tiny bit uneven, something that would not have happened if it had been made by a machine or merely summoned through the powers of the mindscape.

"… Did you make this?"

"… Yeah…," Roman confirmed. "I mean, you made us all those bears a while ago, and I figured… I never returned the favor, plus after this whole mess, I do kinda owe you…"

"… You do realize that, if I still wanted to be mad at you, this face would be making that incredibly difficult?"

Janus pointed at the dragon's face, which was quite cute.

"… Is that bad…?"

Janus rolled his eyes.

"I accept your apology, Princey," Janus told him. "Thank you."

"Oh, okay. Cool."

"But, I was in the middle of working, so I should be getting back to it."

"Oh! Right, yeah… I have to go do… some things… too."

And with that, Roman began to make his way back to the other side of the mind palace, and Janus closed the door. He took a moment to hug the dragon to his chest before setting it down and returning to work.

They probably still had a long way to go, and this likely wouldn't be the last argument, but they had taken some steps in the right direction, at least.

XXX

I'm glad I finally got this part out, 'Cuz this, really, is the most important bit of this part of the story. Tbh, a lot of feelings went into this, and I really needed to write something with some reconciliation. I'm the kind of person that forgives pretty easily if you actually apologize, but when someone doesn't, I can hold a grudge for a long time, and I think actually saying it, on top of changing your behavior, is important (I definitely think that Janus is the kind of person to hold a grudge, and probably less forgiving). A lot of the time, I get more upset about the lack of apology than whatever someone actually did. Idk.

But, yeah, rambling aside, this part's done. This was originally supposed to focus on Patton, but then Roman happened and kinda took over? I still got a lot of Patton in here, I think, but I'm still gonna give him his own part since Roman stole his spotlight here. Oops.

Hope you enjoyed!