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So, here's the thing.

Janus loved to make things out of yarn, which had been made clear enough to the others at this point. They'd seen his stuffed animals and his blanket and some of the clothes he's made. Most of these things, however, were crocheted.

And here was another thing.

Janus had actually learned how to knit before he'd learned how to crochet- a few years before learning how to crochet, actually. At first, it had seemed easier, so he had made some basic knitting projects, mostly scarves and other rectangular objects since, even now, he still hadn't exactly gotten the hang of knitting non-rectangular things. But he'd only learned knitting, and only in its most basic form. He hadn't even figured out how to purl since the difference confused him back then, and he didn't know how to do anything fancy like skipping stitches or adding stitches or doing that twisted design he'd seen on a lot of clothing. He was pretty much limited to rectangles of garter stitch, which wasn't bad, but was also rather plain.

And then, he'd finally figured out how crocheting worked, and he was (pun possibly intended) hooked. Or- he'd sort of figured out how to crochet. It took him a while to figure out there was a difference between a slip stitch and a single stitch, and also that he was supposed to go through both loops of a stitch unless the pattern indicated otherwise. Though, once he did figure some of those things out, he'd very quickly realized why his projects didn't look quite the way they were supposed to.

He probably hadn't exactly helped himself in the way he went about learning, though, since the first thing he'd decided to make had been a stuffed bear (and while that made him a little hypocritical with the way he taught Remus, he didn't want Remus to have a harder time learning than he needed to. Let him learn from Janus's mistakes). This also had the unfortunate consequence that Janus actually couldn't figure out how to crochet rectangles for a while either. He eventually got pretty good at making circular shapes while crocheting, but if he needed a rectangle, he had to go back to knitting- which actually annoyed him at the time because his preference was skewed far toward crocheting, and he knew it was possible to crochet a rectangle and that a lot of people actually found it easier than what he was doing. But still, it took him another few years to figure that one out.

Regardless of his learning process, though, Janus eventually got the hang of crocheting in both circles and rectangles, and even though he did still knit sometimes, he almost neglected the first hobby in favor of the newer one.

This may have resulted in him not particularly getting much better at knitting than he had been as a child. Sure, his stitches were neater and he made less mistakes and he picked more appropriately-sized needles, but overall, his knitting skills were still very basic. It had been years, and all he knew was still garter stitch.

And so, Janus decided to take the time to at least finally figure out purling. It was such a basic part of knitting, and at this point, it was a matter of pride, even, that he should know it. So, he'd brought out a book about knitting (which, once again, he wasn't quite sure why he could access such information when Thomas didn't seem to know it, but he figured it was better not to question it too much. Maybe he'd come across it at some point and forgot but still had it floating around in his subconscious. It didn't really matter to Deceit right then).

Then, finally, after technically knowing how to knit for over a decade, Janus learned how to purl. He had to stare at the little instructional pictures for a long time and read the accompanying descriptions repeatedly, but he eventually got it. And then he practiced and practiced and then he decided to use stockinette stitch to make a little purse. He'd done it! And sure, he still didn't understand circular knitting or some of the more complex things, but he could do a few different kinds of stitches now that he had both knitting and purling in his toolbox.

After that, Deceit decided to try to make a big knitting project for the first time in a long while. He found a pattern (not one he made, since knitting wasn't his strongest suit- and he once again ignored the fact that getting a pattern like this didn't make a lot of sense), and for once, he decided to settle down in the commons living room to work on it.

He was working with a dark navy blue yarn, since it was close enough to black but still a bit easier for him to see what he was doing, and got to work.

He started knitting, reading the pattern as he went.

A few rows in, he realized that the next step didn't make sense. He didn't have enough stitches to do what the pattern wanted.

So, he unraveled the beginning of his project and tried again.

And came to the same problem.

He tried again.

And failed.

Now frustrated, he threw down his knitting needles and flopped back into the couch, crossing his arms.

"… Hey, Snakes and Ladders, whatcha doing there…?" Roman, who happened to walk in right as Janus threw his project down, asked.

"It's supposed to be a shawl," Janus hissed. "But I can't get the pattern right!"

It was supposed to be a shawl. He had long-since forgiven Roman for the 'Blanket Incident' by now, but he thought it might be a good idea to make something that was, essentially, a blanket that was also clothes. That way, he could wrap it around his shoulders and not have to worry as much about anyone spilling something on it at the table. This particular pattern (which was more difficult than anything he'd tried to knit before) started small and then got bigger on a diagonal, essentially creating a triangle that got bigger as you went. Janus had a triangle. But he still wasn't getting something right.

"… Why is it a triangle?" Roman questioned, holding up the discarded project.

"It's supposed to be a triangle!" Janus exclaimed, growling. "That's not the part I'm messing up!"

"I mean, if it's supposed to be a triangle, then what's the problem?" Roman wondered, confused. "It's a triangle."

"Because, whatever I'm doing, the pattern doesn't make sense!"

At this, Roman picked up the piece of paper with the pattern on it and squinted at it.

"How do you know what any of this means? Like, what's kfb, and why are there so many asterisks?"

"Apparently, kfb is an abbreviation that tells you to knit in both the front and back of the stitch," Janus replied. "It adds an extra stitch to it…"

Janus paused for a second.

"Princey, can I have that back for a moment?"

"Um, sure."

Janus looked down at the pattern again. He looked closer, and re-read the beginning lines.

He tossed the pattern onto the coffee table.

"Great. So, I'm an idiot."

Roman blinked at him.

"Wait, what?"

"I didn't realize that I was supposed to be doing an increase at the end of some of those rows," Janus answered, now sounding angry again. "Damn it, I've already screwed this up three times because I can't read?"

"Woah, there, Snakes, maybe chill out a bit here," Roman suggested, putting his hands up. "I mean, sometimes you just miss things."

"I just wasted an hour on this," Janus huffed.

"Well, now you know, though."

"I guess," Janus accepted with a sigh. "Anyway, I'm going to make some tea. Do you want some?"

Janus stood, already starting to head toward the kitchen before Roman answered.

"Sure."

And the prince followed, leaning on the counter while Janus filled the kettle.

"So… I'm guessing that this is a bad time to ask you to show me how to do some yarn things?" Roman said eventually.

Janus paused.

"What?"

He turned to look at the prince, an eyebrow raised.

"Well, just. You taught Remus how to do it, so I thought maybe you could show me a few things sometime…," Roman explained. "Not that I was going to make you stop what you were doing. I just thought I'd ask and we could figure out a time if you said yes."

He put the kettle on the stove, turning the flame on.

"… Are you asking because you actually want to learn how, or just because Remus knows how to do something you don't?" Janus asked.

He felt like it was a fair question. The twins had always had a habit of trying to one-up each other, so it wouldn't be surprising.

"… Is it bad if it's both?"

Janus rolled his eyes, not answering immediately.

"I can show you, I guess, as long as it's crocheting and not knitting. Since, well, you've already seen that train wreck," Janus sighed, before deciding to keep talking. "But you know, I don't exactly get what's up with you and Remus still. I mean, it seems like everyone else has made up, but you two are still at each other's throats when you get the chance to be."

Roman grimaced.

"Do we have to talk about Remus right now?" Roman questioned.

"Do we have to? No, I suppose not," Janus shrugged. "But don't you think you two are going to have to talk eventually?"

"It's not like you can really just talk to Remus," Roman scoffed.

Janus frowned.

"I'll have to disagree with that one," Janus denied. "I talk to Remus just fine all the time. It can take practice to navigate through some of his ideas without insulting him or letting him get too carried away, but he's not a terrible conversational partner when you give him a chance."

"Geez, you sound like Logan."

"In terms of how I'm speaking, or has Logan been trying to get you to talk to your brother?"

"Both."

"It's always both with you," Janus joked, trying to not let the conversation get heated.

"Says the man who's both human and snake."

"Fair enough," Janus acquiesced. "But I'm sure you've noticed that everyone else is starting to get along with him now- Even Patton, which I'm sure is as much of a surprise to you as it is to me."

"That's putting it lightly," Roman grumbled.

"And beyond that, You know from experience that reconciliation between us sides can be beneficial to both the sides involved and Thomas," Janus continued. "You've experienced it twice already- with Virgil and with me. I'm not going to pretend it was easy, but now Virgil's your best friend, and we get along well enough, don't we? You even just asked me to teach you something. You used to hate us both, so clearly it's possible for that to change."

"Hate is… a strong word…," Roman said, looking away awkwardly.

"But not inaccurate."

He saw Roman grimace, his eyebrows drawn inward.

"Look, I get that everyone is trying to be all buddy-buddy with Remus now. And fine, it's not my place to stop you guys from doing that," Roman huffed. "And I wouldn't even say that I hate Remus. He is still my brother. But he's also gross and violent and hard to deal with. I used to share a room with him- Do you know what it's like to live with that man? Half the time I thought he'd actually kill me!"

Janus raised an eyebrow again, giving Roman a look that he hoped conveyed his exasperation.

"As a matter of fact, I do know what it's like to live with Remus," Janus pointed out. "And I'd say I actually know it better than you do, since you only lived with him for a few months, while I lived with him for years."

Roman deflated, and Janus thought he might even look a little guilty.

"But don't you get what I mean, then?" he tried.

Janus hummed, considering.

"To an extent," Janus admitted. "He can be difficult at times. But I think there's a few things you need to understand here. To begin with, it isn't all entirely Remus's fault- he controls Intrusive Thoughts as well as Creativity, and he's not always in control of it, just like Virgil can't always control his own Anxiety. He's a buffer, and even if he lets things through, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not, it would be a lot worse if he wasn't doing that."

Roman's eyebrows raised, as if he was surprised. And maybe he was.

"For all Remus says and does, Thomas never acts on any of it, now does he?" Janus pointed out. "Now, I'm not going to pretend that none of it is intentional or that Remus is never being malicious. But a big part of when he is doing it on purpose is because he's spent most of Thomas's life being silenced and pushed away. That hurts."

Janus may have been speaking from experience, and he thought Roman understood that.

"And hurting people back isn't always the healthiest coping mechanism," Janus told him. "But it is one that you yourself can understand."

At this, Roman winced.

"I'm not saying it will be easy to get along with him, but you know it's possible," said Janus. "And once you do make up, you can set clear boundaries. Remus doesn't understand boundaries on his own, but if you're firm with him, he won't disrespect that. At least, not if you don't disrespect him."

Then Janus sighed.

"Look, I wasn't exactly intending to have this conversation with you right now, but you two are going to have to do something eventually. Having the two halves of Creativity at odds like this is unsustainable," he kept going. "And I do recognize that the two of you have gotten better recently. I'm not trying to invalidate the efforts you have made. But I represent a large part of Thomas's Self Preservation, so it's my job to make sure that his needs are met. And part of that is making sure that Remus's needs are met, not just because he's a part of Thomas but also because he's my friend. And to be honest, if you did actually know more about him, I think you'd understand very well why we're having this conversation."

He took a deep breath.

"But, on the topic of honesty," Janus huffed. "I really have had a bit too much of it recently. Hanging around with all you Light Sides so much must be rubbing off on me."

He pretended to shudder. Roman, meanwhile, just stared at him for a while.

By then, the tea was just about boiled, so Janus turned it off before the kettle started screaming, pouring the steaming liquid into the pair of mugs on the counter.

"… You know, I really don't hate Remus," Roman said after a while. "Maybe I did once, but not anymore."

"I know," Janus stated plainly. "But I'm not the one who needs to know it."

"I just don't know how to deal with him, especially with how he is all the time."

"Well, like I've said, a conversation about boundaries helps. But there's a lot you have to get through before you can get to that point, I think."

"I… I guess there is."

Janus handed Roman his mug, picking up his own.

"Here's an idea," Janus began. "Remus has been wanting to learn some of the more complicated stitches so he can make a blanket."

Now, Roman looked confused again.

"So maybe I can teach you both a few things together," Janus offered. "You're already able to not kill each other most of the time, so maybe you two can start with a joint activity instead of diving right into a heart-to-heart and likely subsequent battle, hm?"

"That's… Maybe. I'll have to think about it."

Janus shrugged, already knowing that Roman would accept the offer eventually.

"Alright. Well, in that case, I'm going to try that pattern again," Janus announced. "I have a few busy days this week, so if I don't get started now, I won't be able to until next week."

And with that, Janus went back to the living room to fix his project, hoping that maybe Roman would be able to start fixing some things as well.

XXX

So, for this whole thing, I'm kind of trying to make the point that all the sides are right and wrong sometimes. And I love Remus, but I do think that if he was real, I would probably have a hard time being around him since I get anxious easily. And, like, he is violent and malicious sometimes. So, I guess with this, I was trying to focus on the idea that Remus is A) lashing out and B) has trouble recognizing boundaries. I hope what I wrote here made sense?

Also, fun fact, I actually made the shawl Janus is trying to make here. I would link a pic, but I haven't actually posted one anywhere yet.

Anyway, thanks for reading!

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