"Okay…" Jade said as she leaned back in her chair and said, "Did you want to ask the question this time? Or should I just keep going? You can take a break and just ask me something so you don't feel like I'm interrogating you."

Tori took a sip of her water as she glanced towards the balcony, thinking she heard some chatter from the street but chose to ignore it. She shook her head and said to Jade, "Keep going. I'll be fine, I just needed a minute is all."

Jade could tell that Tori was pushing herself and was far outside her comfort zone but just let out a heavy huff and said, "Fine. What happened to your record deal? When I left you were recording your debut album so what happened with that?"

"I-I wasn't—I didn't, skip please," Tori said as she softly shook her head.

Jade looked at her curiously, her pierced eyebrow-raising slightly as Tori looked at her with a fearful expression. She leaned in and said, "Fine then…Beck said you tried to—okay no, you ask me something. We'll switch back and forth."

Tori was about to argue but Jade gave her a glare that told her arguing was pointless so she sighed and nodded and said, "Y-you always left when we argued…and when you came back, we'd never talk about what happened. What made you so angry all the time? I know I wasn't perfect but at some point, you became so mean and unpleasant to be around…what happened?"

"Yeah, my dear old dad decided that he'd had enough of me being so rebellious and stepped in to take action," Jade said. "When…when we started dating, he knew. He didn't care and thought like being a performer that it would just be a phase. After a year he saw that we were still together and I mentioned how I wanted to get a little more serious with you and that seemed to be the final straw for him. He cut me off entirely, he warned me over and over that I had to break up with you and switch majors to something that would look respectable to his colleagues or whatever. I argued and fought against him for months until finally, he forwarded me an email from his lawyer—not even a phone call, he just sent a fucking email. It was a confirmation that I had been officially written out of his will and was completely cut off from him. I didn't even know he could do that but I guess he pulled some strings and set me up with whatever money was mine from our family trusts or whatever and transferred it under my name without a word."

Tori listened with a sad and hurt expression that Jade had kept something so important from her, but didn't say anything since she was still holding back a lot as well. Jade continued and said, "After that, with college, the move, and textbooks and insurance and everything else…I was running on fumes. I was smart about it; I know how to save but there was just a lot all at once and I was barely keeping up. So, I ended up getting some jobs. I got the one job in the library at UCLA that I told you about, but I also worked nights and evenings at a bar named Tom's Place, I think it got bought out or something a while ago. But anyway, I felt ashamed. I was pissed that he did that to me and was still hounding me to give up and be something I wasn't and to get with a man and break up with you. So, with the added money troubles, I felt ready to snap."

"Why didn't you tell me that you had problems with money? I would have helped," Tori said softly, "You didn't have to deal with that by yourself. I've helped you with your dad before, I could have done it again."

"Because I had to! You were making your album and I saw how happy that made you and I didn't want to ruin it by bringing up my shit! I wanted to take care of everything so you didn't have to," Jade said, a soft blush of embarrassment crossing her cheeks as she admitted her woes. "I wanted to show you I could handle things if you had to go for a while. It was stupid but I had to prove that I could handle things without Tori Vega swooping in to try and save the day."

"Are you ever going to stop doing that?" Tori said sternly and clearly annoyed, "I want to help people, there's nothing wrong with that! Especially if that someone is my girlfriend! We were supposed to handle things together—"

"I love that you try to help Vega, really, I do! But it's been like that since high school! You always had to stick your nose into things that weren't your concern! Sometimes people need to handle their own shit and that was one of mine so I'm sorry I didn't tell you but that was my burden to bear!"

The chattering and foot traffic outside the balcony got a little louder but neither woman got up to go and check it out as Jade closed the question and said, "There. That's why I was pissed off so much. I'm sorry, can I ask my question now?"

Tori just crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair and said, "Fine, I'm still mad though."

"I know," Jade said as she brought her hands to her forehead and closed her eyes to calm herself before she opened them again and said, "I've seen the scars. Beck and Cat both told me or mentioned what happened but I want to hear it from you."

She sat up and leaned in across the table, making sure that Tori was looking at her as she asked, "Why did you try to hurt yourself?"

Tori looked down at her arms and sighed as she laid them out across the table with her fingers curled into loose fists as she looked at each and every scar that adorned her caramel skin and said, "I didn't try to hurt myself. I tried to end it."

"Why though?" Jade asked as she fought the urge to try and hold one of Tori's hands or to trace a scar with her finger or show some form of intimacy or understanding.

"Because I thought I deserved it," Tori said as she kept looking at her scars. She took her right hand and traced one larger mark that trailed up her left forearm and ran a finger up and down the length of it slowly as she said, "I thought I deserved it for messing up so much. I blamed myself for the problems with you. I knew I wasn't around much when I was recording but I kept failing there too. The album was coming along but every session I made too many mistakes, I was so nervous but it got better but nothing seemed to go right and my producer—they, well they weren't nice so I thought it was my fault. But when my family…when that happened, I couldn't deal with it anymore."

"It was just setback after setback after setback, all caused by me trying to do something good and having it blow up in my face." Tori continued as she took a shaky breath, "B-but I thought I could fix things, work past them and make them better. When my family died…that was on me. We wouldn't have gone to th—"

"Never! Never ever say that that was your fault Vega! We both know that's bullshit!" Jade screamed as she slammed her fist on the table and stood up and pointed her finger at Tori. "Your mom was a problem! You being with me wasn't a problem! What happened was terrible and I wish I had been here for you instead of being a shitty coward and running away but you should never blame yourself for an accident like that!"

Tori just offered her a soft smile as she pulled the sleeves back over her arms and held them across her waist and said, "I know…you sound like, well you sound like everyone. They all say the same thing…but it's hard to accept it."

"But you know it's true," Jade said as she threw her arms out and said, "It was an accident! Wrong time, wrong place!"

"I know! But I still feel responsible sometimes! I should have told them sooner instead of just hiding…so when they all died and I was left alone, I tried to call you but you never answered." Tori said sadly, "I cried every day and every night for so long and I started to drink…a lot. One night I tried to just end it all and Cat and Andre found me and got help."

"What happened after that?" Jade asked softly as she took her seat again.

"I was in suicide watch. For a long time." Tori said as she wiped a tear away. "I was treated for a year and a half, almost two years until I was finally allowed to leave. After all of that, I still tried once or twice but the gang stopped me each time…I ended up going to therapy—I still do, just not as often now but sometimes it just feels so hopeless."

Jade stood back up and didn't say anything as she grabbed Tori and wrapped her in a tight hug, locking her arms around her and not giving her a chance to break away. She knew Tori didn't want to be touched but she had to hold her and said, "Please never do something like that! You have so much to live for! If you had killed yourself—I don't know what I would have done but it would have destroyed me! Please, I'm here now so let me help!"

Tori was ridged and stiff in Jade's arms as she took in the scent of Jade's perfume and felt the heat of her body on her own, it was too much but she didn't try to break away this time. She slowly took her arms and wrapped them around Jade and gently rubbed her back as she said, "I'm sorry…I could have used this when I was at my lowest…but now it just feels, I don't know…strange?"

The pale-skinned woman slowly released her and took one of Tori's hand in her own and held it tightly as she said, "I know…I don't deserve you. I really messed up everything—no, let me finish," she said as she cut Tori off and continued, "Can I ask my last question?"

Tori looked down at Jade's hand wrapped so tightly around her own and nodded without saying a word. "If…no, could I—could we, no, fuck! Sorry," Jade said as she struggled to find the right words. "I-I want to ask…is there still a chance…for us?"

Tori looked up at Jade and saw that she was being completely serious, her gaze fixed directly onto her own eyes waiting for some sort of an answer but Tori couldn't think of one. She stammered and stuttered to find something to say as the chattering and talking outside the restaurant got louder and louder which seemed to piss Jade off. The pale-skinned author broke away with an annoyed look in her eyes as she walked over to the opening of the small balcony and looked down, about to scream something but backed up and ducked behind the wall and said, "It's the fucking paparazzi!"

"What?" Tori asked as she tried to get up to go and look but Jade pulled her back by the wrist and said, "No, don't look! We have to get out of here."

"Why? Can't we just wait until they leave," Tori asked as Angie came up from the stairwell. "I assume you two saw the crowd outside?"

"Yeah. I think one of your kitchen boys called or something," Jade said, still clearly annoyed that they were being interrupted. "Is there any way we can duck out of here?"

Angie nodded and said, "I packed up your food to go. Just hurry through the back and get out through the sideway used for deliveries. I can distract them, just get Tori out, I don't want her around any of that high-life drama." She glared at Jade a little and nodded her head towards the stairs and started to make her way down, giving the two of them a moment to gather their things.

"Can't you just call a ride to get you and I'll wait here until they leave?" Tori asked as she picked up her bag. "I don't get why we're both leaving."

"Because I don't want to end our talk like this and you'd be stuck in here for hours until they left, just come with me." Jade asked as she snatched her phone up and said, "Can you drive us?"

"I-I mean sure…but what if they see us?" Tori asked nervously.

"It doesn't matter, I'll have my people step in and help to make sure you stay out of the public eye, just put on some sunglasses and keep your bag close to your face and we'll hurry out before they come to the back parking lot."

Tori went along with her and looked down and noticed that Jade was still holding onto her wrist tightly as they hurried and rushed down the stairs where Angie was holding the door for them and watching to make sure none of the nosey photographers came around. "What about the bill?" Tori asked

"She covered it, just go and call me when you get home, okay?" Angie asked as she patted Tori's shoulder. The younger woman nodded as Jade pulled her along to the parking lot and asked, "Which one is yours?"

Tori fished her keys out of her purse and pointed towards a beat-up and rusted gray Honda van which made Jade pause and look at Tori for a moment before she just grumbled and said, "Whatever, let's just go."

The two of them piled inside of the car as Tori tossed her bag onto the back seat and started up the car. Both of them had sunglasses on and Jade tried to stay vigilant while staying low so no one could see her leave. The last thing she wanted was to fuck up Tori's life some more by adding in the lack of privacy that fame had. If the paparazzi managed to get some pictures of them together, she'd be another scandalous headline in the entertainment section with no privacy and Jade wanted them to be left alone to work out their issues. Her question still burned in Tori's mind as she pulled out of the parking lot and went down a small side road usually used for the delivery trucks and pulled onto the side road away from the restaurant. In the rearview mirror, they could see a crowd of people and cars littering the road and sidewalk, all stalking around with cameras looking to get some pictures of Jade for an easy payout.

"Where should I take you?" Tori asked as she took her glasses off and set them in the center console.

"My hotel, we can finish talking there and—"

"No. I'm sorry but I should have left at the start…this was a lot and I—"

"No, Vega. I get it. It's fine," Jade said as she sat back in her seat and looked at her sadly. "I-I am glad we did talk…if only for a little bit. But I have to know."

"What?" Tori asked

"The answer to my question. I have to know. I'm going to be in town for a long while and I have to know if there is a chance we can try again," Jade said

"Jade…honestly? I don't know. We both messed up." Tori started to say, "I'll admit, I'm holding back some things and I know you are too. I still want to know why you cheated on me but I don't know if I can handle that right now. You have to understand, I've only been fully back for the past two years. I'm still barely holding things together and I don't know if I can handle another complication—"

"So I'm just a complication? Tori, I want us to work! I want to fight for you again and show that I mean it," Jade said.

"Then earn it! Earn it and give me some time to think…I-I would love to be with you again…but a lot is going on and we both know that right now, you have to focus on your movie."

"Fuck the movie!" Jade said. "I'll give it up in a heartbeat if it means we can talk and work things out. I don't want to go back to New York without knowing where we stand—"

"You've been here a couple of days! This isn't something you can just highlight or skim over in a book Jade! This is seven years of abandonment and lingering feels of hurt and resentment that you're forcing me to deal with all at once! This can't be fixed—I can't be fixed in just one afternoon with some light conversation! Please! Just give me some time to think! Okay?!"

Jade looked at her for a moment before nodding and lowering her head and said, "I'm sorry…you're right. I-I just want to mend things, I want to fix things and I want my family back. I ruined things and broke our little collection of oddballs into pieces and I want to try and earn my place back with all of you." She paused for a moment and looked ahead at the road and then back to Tori and said, "Even if we aren't together in the end, I want to at least fix what was broken. No bad blood, just an even playing field for us to try and be friends again."

"If you want…" Tori said, which made Jade's ears perk up, "We can be friends. I am more than willing to start as friends again…and we will talk and I'll answer your question later but for now, I just want to figure out what I want."

"That's fair…just tell me when you figure things out, okay?" Jade asked.

Tori glanced at her and lifted her hand with her pinky outstretched and said, "I promise."

Jade rolled her eyes and took Tori's pinky and wrapped it around her own and said, "You're still such a dork, Vega."

"I know," Tori said with a soft giggle. "By the way…Cat is trying to get me into singing again."

"Oh yeah? Well, that's nice, anything come up?" Jade asked before connecting the dots in her head and said, "She didn't!"

Tori nodded and said, "She told me some scary movie needs female vocals and wants me to audition. It wasn't hard to figure out she was trying to get me to see you again."

"Change of plans. Don't take me to the hotel, take me to her place so I can strangle her!" Jade said as she took out her phone to start texting Cat.

"Stop," Tori said as she placed a hand over Jade's phone and lowered it towards Jade's lap.

"Why?! She's trying to force things and she has to know that we want her to back off," Jade said.

"She thinks she's trying to help. Just let me talk to her. But I wanted to tell you so you know that I won't show up, I'm backing out of the audition," Tori said.

"Why? You could actually be really useful for this—"

"Okay first, rude. Secondly, because it would look bad for you and I'm not auditioning for a project you're in charge of as my first attempt back in music. I'll find something else if I feel like it." She watched as Jade tried to find an argument but cut her off by continuing, "Plus I know we wouldn't work together every day, but the last thing either of us needs is to be stuck together with this elephant in the room. I don't know what I want out of this Jade, and I'm sorry for that, but I need time to think and the last thing I should do is work on a project that would force us together."

"No…no, you're right…" Jade said. "It's not fair since Cat tried to trick you and it's not fair to anyone else who tries. But what if I abstain from your audition?"

"Jade, no—"

"Hear me out! It could work, there are the producers and music department people that would be there too, I could abstain and leave and give you a fair chance, they'd understand!" Jade said.

"Why do you even care if I audition at all? I don't want to sing any—"

"Vega." Jade said rather dryly, "You and I both know that that is a damn lie. You come alive in every show and project you've been a part of. You need to perform, it's in your blood. Just think it over…for me?"

"I-I'll think on it," Tori said.

"That's all I'm asking for," Jade said, "All I want is for you to be happy."

Tori glanced over at Jade to see that she was looking right at her, complete sincerity in her eyes with a sad smile across her lips as she reached over and patted Tori's leg before turning to look out the front window. They drove the rest of the way in silence to Jade's hotel with each of them thinking about what to do next, now armed with the information they had gained from this small exchange. For Jade, she felt a glimmer of hope that they would be together again but didn't mention it to Tori. When she reached over and touched her leg, she didn't flinch or draw away from her touch. That was enough of a sign for her that things could work out if they continued to talk and work through what they had left unsaid.

Author's Notes:

Surprise! Double chapter upload today! I hope you all have a great day and please review and let me know what you think as we push forward in the narrative. I'll try to get the next couple of chapters out soon and will keep you posted if anything comes up that may cause a delay.

Thank you all again for the support!

Songs Used for Inspiration:

1. ?

2. "She Got the Best of Me" by Luke Combs

3. "Miss Missing You" by Fall Out Boy

4. ?