A/N Serena will soon go to Canada! Finally! I have chapter 11 written too and just started on the 12th so we'll see if I'll post another chapter tomorrow or Monday. Don't know if anyone's still with me? I hope you are because we're getting to the juicy stuff ;)

I do need help with a decision so if anyone wanna offer their help, please DM me? Thank you :) Now to the story.

Chapter 10

A handmaid had been shot in the grocery store. Apparently she had gone crazy, aiming a gun at aunt Lydia, but then ended up shot in the shoulder herself. This was the second time in a short time that a handmaid wanted to kill the aunt, and Serena understood them. She remembered when the older woman brutally beat that poor woman who once was Naomi's handmaid, for wanting to give them a second baby.

Ofmatthew didn't die though. She was braindead, yes, but her heart was still beating and most importantly, the baby was alive. So the doctors kept her alive as an incubator for her unborn child until he was big enough to cut out. She found it odd that they would go to these lengths, torturing a young woman, to save a child, when they wouldn't allow a former doctor who now was a Martha to examine baby Angela and potentially save her life. Why was this baby more important than the Putnams'?

Serena knew she'd have to see them soon enough, just showing her face to let them know that she'd also prayed for their baby, but she'd been putting it off. Fred had been sweet to her lately, and even if she knew it was all an act until she misbehaved she felt bad for talking to Mark almost every evening. They didn't even talk about Fred's future arrest anymore, she just needed to hear his voice and to know someone was there for her. 'You can't love', June had told her, but something had fluttered within her, a feeling that she only remembered having in the beginning of her relationship with Fred.

Entering the hospital room her eyes were immediately drawn to her former handmaid on the floor. Her stomach dropped at the sight. June did not look like herself. Her skin was pale and her eyes red, and overall she looked unhealthy. The last time they met had been unpleasant, but even after those words Serena was worried about the other woman. She knew this was some sick punishment aunt Lydia had made up because she didn't like the handmaid. The woman had a way to provoke everyone around her and most of the time she was infuriating to deal with, but this punishment was brutal and cruel.

It was hard even looking at the woman as she was there and Serena was relieved when they were leaving the room. A voice calling her name stopped her though and she briefly wondered if she should ignore it, but she realized that she really wanted to talk to June, perhaps even tell her the truth.

"You don't want to bother with that," mrs Calhoun said and Serena hesitated for a moment before meeting the brunette's eyes.

"I'll catch up with you downstairs," she said, and she almost expected mrs. Calhoun to argue with that decision, but she just received a short nod. Maybe this was a mistake, but this was also what she had wanted.

When they were alone she let out a breath and slowly turned toward the other woman. "Yes, Ofjoseph?" She said, still founding the new name strange in her mouth. Before she was Offred, and as of lately just June.

"Come closer…" the handmaid whispered. "It's a secret." Serena was hesitant at first because the woman did look more fragile than she'd ever seen her. Still she approached her, curious about what she could possibly want. Perhaps she was going to ask her for a favor, wouldn't be the first time. Though, Serena already knew she wanted to bring up this extreme punishment with Fred or aunt Lydia, even if she was scary as hell.

The handmaid began to rise from the floor, but her legs wouldn't carry her and Serena had to be quick to steady her. "You're not well," she said, meeting June's eyes as she shook her head 'no'. "June…" the other woman was starting to cry and Serena could feel her own eyes tearing up at the sight. How could they let that poor woman sit by her shopping partner for weeks without any fresh air. The blonde wondered what they were feeding her and if she got enough to drink.

Serena carefully put her right hand on her shoulder, wanting nothing more than to comfort her with a hug, even if the doctors and Mrs. Calhoun could walk in on them. Instead she just waited for June to pull herself together.

She barely had time to register what was happening when June suddenly raised her arm and a knife slashed through Serena's lower arm, cutting through the thin fabric and her fair skin. The wife was quick to grab the woman's wrist to keep her from doing any more damage, but in the process of taking the scalpel away she accidentally cut June's hand too, the sharp tool dropping to the floor.

Serena put her hand to her own wound, watching the handmaid on the floor, trying to catch her breath. "You're out of your mind," she said, backing away a few steps.

"This has to end…" June let out. "This has to end." The woman crawled forward, but Serena knew she wasn't a threat anymore.

Serena shook her head as she looked at the woman, almost at a loss for words. Despite their differences in the past she still had hopes that they could be on the same side, fighting against men like Fred, putting them all in their places. But now the woman looked almost broken. "You were supposed to be one of the strong ones." June looked at her with an almost animalistic look on her face and as she crawled forward, with a sound that reminded her of growling, she definitely resembled a wild animal. Serena had feared for her life almost everyday recently, and when June jumped her she knew the handmaid had it in her to finish the job. She was just that pissed off. Luckily for her, June wasn't in a great state and quite easy to overpower.

The blonde knew she had to do something for her and decided then and there that she would have a talk with aunt Lydia about it immediately. Exiting the room she met the doctor. Her hand was still covering the wound, not wanting the handmaid to get in any more trouble.

"There was an accident," she told him, nodding toward the room. "She cut her hand on a scalpel. I don't know where it came from, but you should probably be more careful with that." She didn't know if she needed stitches, but she wasn't going to tell him the whole story. As far as anyone else knew, this was all just a stupid accident.

Downstairs she met up with Mrs. Calhoun again and was glad to see that aunt Lydia was with them, which would spare her the trouble of going to see her. "Blessed be the fruit," she greeted and the aunt replied with the usual line. "Can I have a word with you?"

"Of course Mrs. Waterford," the older woman said and the two of them took a step away from the group, their curious eyes following them. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm worried about Ofjoseph. I just saw her and she is not well. I think this punishment has gone on for too long," Serena said, choosing her words carefully. The older lady looked at her for a moment before she started to laugh.

"Oh, mrs. Waterford, I would've thought you if anyone would be pleased with this punishment. It's no secret that you don't like Ofjoseph," aunt Lydia shook her head in amusement. "With that said, I believe this punishment fits Ofjoseph's behavior. You should have seen the way she treated that poor Ofmatthew. She can't leave until that baby is born."

Her husband was sitting in the dining room when she got home, and she wanted to talk to him about the situation, but she did not know how to approach the subject. The last thing she wanted was for him to think he'd lost his grip on her, that she once again needed to be tamed.

"How was the Calhouns?" He asked without looking up from the files he was reading.

"They are staying strong. The baby is still stable so far, we'll just have to keep praying," she said and sat down on the chair opposite to him. "Did you know that Ofjoseph has been sitting there since the incident?"

To her surprise Fred chuckled. "Yes, yes, I heard about that. According to aunt Lydia she treated Ofmatthew pretty poorly the last couple of weeks so she thought it fitting Ofjoseph should sit there with her. The punishment could've been worse for endangering that unborn child."

"Now you care about the children," Serena scoffed without thinking. The man was quick to look up from his files this time. Although he didn't say anything she knew how displeased he was with that comment.

"I think the punishment should stop," she said, honestly, folding her hands in her knees. "I saw her today and she is not well. I think it's enough." Unconsciously she stroked her lower arm where June had cut her. Her husband cracked a smile, an amused one, as if he thought her suggestion was ridiculous and cute. In other words, he wouldn't do anything. "I talked to aunt Lydia," she continued and if she wasn't mistaken his smile faltered slightly. "But she didn't agree with me so maybe you could talk to her? She would listen to you."

The other man, her husband, stood up from his seat without a word and Serena didn't dare to breathe. Was he just going to leave her without an answer? He didn't leave, though. Instead he walked around the table, stopping behind her. Serena's heart was hammering through her chest and she balled her fists in her lap, the knuckles turning white. She could feel his hands on her shoulders and she closed her eyes.

"You are getting so tense, Serena," he said and was surprised when he started massaging her shoulders, something she would've longed for a months ago, but now she couldn't help but to wonder where he was going with this. She would always be cautious around him, especially after she opened her mouth. "You shouldn't worry so much, dear. Ofjoseph will be fine." His hands squeezed her shoulders as he massaged, almost too hard, a painful moan slipping past her lips. "When you are out of the house, I want you to remember that you represent this household, that you are a Waterford."

Serena flinched as his hands squeezed her harder, moving to her neck. "I know that," she said, her voice barely audible. "Fred, you're hurting me." His hands were around her neck and she was terrified that he would tighten his hold and cut off air supply.

"I don't want the other commanders to think that I can't handle my woman," he explained, leaning forward to get closer to her ear. "And I don't want my woman to start questioning the punishments of Gilead. I gave you a place at the table, but you still need to behave yourself, and stop embarrassing me." This wasn't just about Ofjoseph's punishment, she realized. This was built up anger from the time she got back home. When she didn't say anything, his hands tightened around her neck, squeezing her windpipe, making breathing difficult. "Are you listening?" He almost yelled into her ear.

Serena put her hands on his, trying to tear them away from her. "Yes," she squeaked and she wasn't sure he heard as he didn't release the pressure. "I'm sorry," she added, clawing in panic, her eyes widening. Finally he let go of her and she inhaled a deep breath, coughing and putting her hands on her neck as if she could still feel his imprints on her.

"Thank you, dear. Now, I have some work to do. Why don't you go to your room and let me finish this up," he returned to his seat and she stood up on shaky legs, still shocked that he would do something like that. Nothing should surprise her anymore, but she thought he was still trying to win her over. Did he really think she would stay in love with him if he kept hurting her, if he kept taking his anger out on her. He loved to punish her, to have that control over her, and breaking her down until she wouldn't even dream of criticizing their ideas and punishments.

Serena hurried to her bedroom, throwing herself onto her knees and pulled out the phone from under the pillow. She needed to tell him what just happened, even if she felt embarrassed, but she had promised to tell him everything. June's punishment was also important to tell him, to further show him how inhumane women were treated. And not even a wife could do something about it.

Her hand was shaking as she raised the phone to her ear and listened to the signals. For the first time since they started talking like this she reached his voice mail. Perhaps he was in a meeting? She stared at the phone in her hands and decided to wait a few minutes. They had agreed that he would never call her in case someone would hear the phone, but she wasn't sure if the same rules implied when he missed her call. As far as he knew, it could be important. Well, it was important.

When ten minutes had passed she pressed the call button again and put the phone against her ear. This time there were only two signals.

"Serena?" He answered and her heart warmed hearing him use her first name. "I'm sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower."

The explanation made her cheeks warm and she couldn't believe she was actually blushing, but it was hard not to imagine him in only a towel, his chest wet and hair dripping. "It's okay," she croaked, surprised by how her voice sounded. Touching her throat, she coughed to clear it. "Something's happened."

"I can hear that," he said and she could hear him sitting down. "Tell me everything."

So she began from the beginning when she had visited the Calhouns at the hospital, the interactions with June, the poor woman trying to kill Serena, how she had tried to convince the aunt to stop with the punishment, but to no avail. The last part was harder though so she stopped after telling him about asking Fred for help.

"That couldn't have been easy," Mark said, "I remember you tried to get his help with baby Angela and that didn't end well. How did he react? Is he going to ask them to let June go back to the Lawrences?"

Serena scoffed and shook her head as if he could see her. "Apparently I embarrassed him by talking to aunt Lydia. He's afraid the other Commanders will think he can't control his woman."

"They don't know the half of it," Mark said and Serena chuckled quietly. She was looking forward to leave this place and to see the man frequently visiting her dreams. "So what aren't you telling me?"

"Well…" she paused and took a deep breath. "He was mad. I couldn't tell at first, but then he tried to choke me until I agreed to behave." She was met with silence and for a moment she thought he was gone, but she could hear him exhale at the other side of the line. "I just need to be more careful from now on and not make any crazy demands."

Finally he spoke. "He's the crazy one. You will soon be rid of him. I promise." And Serena believed every word.