The Shaving II: Electric Razor-loo
It was Halloween at the Aqua Teen home again in Seattle, New Jersey.
Meatwad rolled down the hallway, excited to show his new costume, which involved him dying himself blue.
"Hey y'all! I'm a blueberry for Halloween this year. I'm Bluewad!" He went.
Shake, being his usual dickish self, rolled his eyes as he was watching television.
"Sure, whatever. Shut up and let me watch this…" Shake says in a dismissive tone.
Frylock, meanwhile, hovered over to Shake.
"Shake, you promised to take him trick or treating this year." He reminded him.
"That was before I found out this movie was on." Shake defends weakly.
Frylock saw the movie in question, which looked very familiar.
"Isn't this the same dumbass movie you keep watching?" Frylock questioned.
"It's not the same! This is "Son of Assisted Living Dracula"!" Shake shouts.
"And what's the difference?" Frylock asks.
"It involves Dracula's son coming to visit his assisted living home and falls for his dad's nurse!" Shake snaps.
Frylock's brow furrowed a bit.
"Regardless, you and Meatwad are supposed to go trick or treating this year in the next street over, since all the families with kids moved out of this street because of us."
"Not sure why." Shake said.
"Because you tried to scam the kids out of their money over the summer to buy beer." Frylock reminds him, looking pissed at Shake's continued antics.
"Well… it's trick or treat… I tricked for a treat!" Shake defended weakly.
"Just take him to get some damned candy, Shake!" Frylock snapped.
Shake sighed bitterly.
"Fine, but I get 50% of all the chocolate bars he gets." Shake says as he walks to the door with Meatwad. "Come on, let's get some candy."
"A'ight, boy!" Meatwad went.
Shake knocked on a door numerous times.
"Hey! Open the damned door! Give us the damned candy!" He shouted.
Meatwad, with his pumpkin-style bucket, just stared for a good minute.
"I don't think they's home, Shake." Meatwad said.
"Oh, they're home alright! They just don't want to give us candy! After that half-eaten apple and the two-packets of soy sauce and mustard, we deserve some damned candy!" Shake barked as his knocking got louder.
"So… isn't it a problem that this here's a pawn shop?" Meatwads asks.
They were indeed at the pawn shop, which was closed, though Shake wasn't bothered.
"No! They're just being lazy! They just don't want to give us candy! Shake then grabbed a nearby crowbar and broke the window, much to Meatwad's wide-eyed shock. "GIVE US SOME CANDY!" Shake shouted, ignoring the alarm as Meatwad rolled away.
Outside the Aqua Teen house, Shake was being taken with both hands cuffed together and a black eye by an officer to the door.
"You know, this is the third time this month, right?" The Idris Elba-like officer asks.
Frylock, looking ungodly pissed at Shake, took a deep breath.
"Yeah, I know." He said.
"There weren't no damn candy out there…" Shake said weakly.
The officer uncuffed him and walked away.
"Happy goddamn Halloween." He said as he left.
Once the car went, Frylock was left glaring at shake with "arms" crossed.
"Shake, I cannot believe you did something so stupid while Meatwad went out alone." He said.
"Well… where the hell is he? I got arrested alone." Shake questions with annoyance.
"He's in the living room after he went to other houses." Frylock answered
Meatwad was burping, a face covered in chocolate and had a big smile.
"Ah yeah, boy! Milk chocolate, white chocolate, dark chocolate… almonds, pecan, macadamia…" Meatwad went.
Shake's one good eye right now widened.
"Chocolate?! Candy?!"
"I even ate them jawbreakers…" Meatwad said, pointing to the bucket of empty wrappers.
"NO!" Shake dove in and picked the bucket up. "There's gotta be more!"
He then dipped the bucket to empty the contents into his mouth.
Meatwad only laughed.
"Enjoy, boy."
Shake coughed out, finding only wrappers.
"Dammit! No candy!"
"Is there anything I can have that isn't juice?" A familiar voice asked from behind.
Both of them looked behind Shake and saw a familiar onion-spider creature. One that worried and terrified the two as they started pulling back.
"Willie Nelson?!" Meatwad asks.
"Yeah, hey guys. Been a while, huh?" He asks in a low but friendly tone.
The two had a flashback of meeting him, holding an electric razor a moment before it ended.
"Uh… yeah… been a while." Shake said before looking down the hall. "FRYLOCK!"
"I KNOW! I SEE THE ATTIC'S DOORWAY!" Frylock called out as he hovered into the living room, eyes widening. "Uh… Willie! Hey! It's… how ya been?" He went, trying to sound friendly.
"Not bad…" He went.
"Yeah, it's been a while since we… locked you up years ago." Shake went.
"It wasn't so bad. Redecorated, took up poetry, had a nice dream where I slept with an alien and had a son… and Carl was my cousin for some reason." Willow responded.
"Ah… Carl… yeah…" Frylock went as he had a flashback.
A flashback of Carl's arms being pulled off.
"JUICE!" Willie went as he tore the arms off and poured the blood into his mouth while Carl screamed.
The flashback ended.
"Yeah…" Frylock muttered again in horror.
"So, anyone know where I can get a fan? It's still sweltering up there." Willie asked, fanning himself with one of his legs.
"I TAKE IT BACK, OKAY?! YOU ARE NOT THE GAYEST MONSTER SINCE GAY CAME TO GAY TOWN!" Shake screamed in horror.
Willie Nelson frowned in sadness.
"Actually, the last person I found had diabetes. I checked his blood sugar gizmo and saw mine is way too high. So… I'm cutting out the juice out of my life for my health's sake."
The Aqua Teens slightly loosened up.
"I… guess that's fine. Any particular reason… you came out of the attic?" Frylock asks.
"I was just wondering if you guys had any healthier options for me than the juice." Willie asks.
The Aqua Teens just stared in silence, not sure what to say.
The Aqua Teens left their house, taking Willie with them.
"Okay, maybe what you need first is some exercise." Frylock suggests.
"That might work." Willie went.
However, as they were passing Carl's house, a certain bald fat man took notice of the three, not seeing the fourth at first, and got out.
"Fryman! I thought I friggin' told you not to leave your house on this day! You're the reason that hot mom moved out!" Carl shouted as he marched over to them.
"Hey Carl!" Meatwad, still blue, greeted.
"Oh, Carl. How's it goin'?" Willie asks.
Once Carl saw who it was, he stopped in his tracks as his eyes widened in horror.
He recalled that night.
"Hey… wait a second here…" He recalled saying.
"Oh my goodness…" Meatwad added in the memory.
That's when Willie tore Carl's arms off.
"Juice!" He went as Carl screamed while blood gushed out of the sockets his arms were once attached to.
The flashback ended and Carl started walking back.
"Uh… y'know what? It's cool…" He went with finger guns and a terrified expression as he passed through his door quickly. "I'll just… not get out for now."
He shut the door fast.
"Huh… how'd he get his arms back, anyway?" Willie asks.
The Aqua Teens remained silent, eyes darting in different directions. Nobody wanted to answer him.
"So, uh… about that walk?" Frylock asks.
"Oh yeah… come on, let's get going." Willie went as he walked past the rest.
As he was far away, Frylock whispered to Shake.
"You got the gun?" He asks.
Shake pulled the shotgun out and cocked it.
"Loaded and ready." Shake said.
"Good… soon as we get the chance, shoot his ass." Frylock said.
"Got it." Shake responded.
"Everything okay back there?!" Willie called out, getting their attention.
The Aqua Teens straightened themselves.
"Yeah, don't worry, Willie! We're coming!" Frylock called out.
"Where we takin' this old boy anyway?" Meatwad asked.
"Some place nobody can find him." Frylock answered.
"What about 612 North Avenue?" Meatwad asks.
"Screw that, we're not reliving your stupid rapper story. Let's go to the place where Zak Wylde blew up because he was drunk." Shake said with a big smile, knowing damn well it was his own fault what happened but denies it.
"Sure, whatever, just let's get rid of him." Frylock answered, not caring where it happens so long as it happens.
The Aqua Teens arrived at the abandoned pizza place.
Willie Nelson entered, crawling deeper into the building.
"Huh… neat place. So, what now?" He asks.
"Now… we end this." Frylock said. "Shake! The gun!"
Shake pulled out the gun, but before he could fire, something appeared in front of him.
"MILKSHAKE! YOU SON OF A BITCH!" The ghost of Willie Nelson shouted angrily.
Shake's eyes widened.
"OH S***! HE'LL KILL ME!" Shake shouted as he started firing repeatedly at the ghost, but nothing happened as the bullets just passed through.
The bullets hit the walls, hitting neither Willie nor the rest of the Aqua Teens.
"Damn!" Meatwad went, hiding behind Frylock.
Frylock then fired ice beams from his eyes that froze the gun in a block, making Shake drop it.
"SHAKE! WHAT THE F***?!" Frylock shouted.
"Do you not see the ghost?!" Shake shouts.
Frylock's brow raised.
"What ghost?"
From Frylock's eyes, there is no ghost. Shake is only gesturing at thin air.
"Uh, duh! The ghost of the drunken loser who got himself killed here!" Shake said, pissing off Zak's ghost.
"I DIED BECAUSE OF YOU, ASSHOLE!" He shouted.
Shake rolled his eyes.
"Come on, Zak. Don't you remember? You got drunk and-"
"I GOT WASTED AND WORKED WITH YOU! IT LED TO YOU BUYING THOSE DUMBASS ROBOT SCORPIONS THAT BLEW ME UP!" Zak's ghost shouted.
Shake's eyes darted away.
"That's now how I remem- No, no put that down!" Shake went as ghost Zak raised his guitar for a weapon again.
As Shake was being assaulted by ghost Zak, Frylock and Meatwad just stared.
"Umm… I got a two part question, Frylock. One: what's going on?" Two: can I film it?" He asks with a big smile.
"He's being haunted by a ghost, most likely Zak's. Since it's his damned fault but Shake's too much of a dumbass to realize or care." Frylock said flatly.
Shake, although now bruised, did his best to walk away.
"No! I was in the Dagoba System when it happened." He insists.
"THAT'S NOT A REAL F***ING PLACE YOU IDIOT!" Ghost Zak shouted as he continued assaulting Shake.
As this went on, Meatwad enjoying the sight of Shake getting beaten and his cries of pain, Frylock called something.
"Ah, dammit… where's Willie?"
"Over here, guys." Willie said, observing the whole ordeal. "Uh, what's going on?"
"Oh, Shake's being haunted by the ghost of someone he got killed but is too stupid to recall what happened." Frylock answered flatly.
Willie's eyes widened.
"A ghost?! Like the ones I've been seeing in the attic?!" He asks.
"Wait, there's ghosts in the attic?!" Meatwad asks.
"Yeah, been seeing them lately. They're from people I got juice from. It's been so long I got used to them." Willie admits.
As this went on, Shake was still being assaulted by the ghost of Zak Wylde.
"Stop it! Oh God please, stop it!" Shake screams.
"Hey, Frylock. Can we stay a little while longer to watch this?" Meatwad asks, enjoying the show.
"Well, maybe a bit more. We gotta kill WIllie as soon as we can." Frylock said.
"Wait, what?" Willie asks.
Realizing he's still there, Frylock pulled back.
"Uh… we, uh… we were gonna-" Frylock did his best to think up a cover, but gave up and sighed. "I'm sorry, Willie. You're too dangerous to leave the attic. You saw how Carl reacted!"
Willie looked to the ground, feeling disappointed.
"I get it…" Willie admits in a defeated tone. "I've been relying on people for juice ever since that old guy with the glass head thing let me out. He used to just leave a dish of it for me."
"Wait… old guy with a glass thing?" Frylock asks.
"Yeah, that's the earliest memory I got from where I came from." Willie explains.
"Of course…" Frylock says in an exasperated tone.
"I'm doing my best not to act that way anymore. But…" Willie then crawled to Frylock and Meatwad. "I guess there's no point in trying. Go ahead, shoot me with your eye lightning or whatever." He closed his eyes. "Go on, I'm ready…"
Frylock's eyes darted away, not sure now.
"Uh… okay… I guess, I could… try."
His eyes glowed.
Willie Nelson closed his eyes.
Meatwad used his "arms" to cover his face, not wanting to see this.
Shake was still getting assaulted by the ghost of Zak.
"HELLO?! ANYONE?!" He cried out.
Frylock blinked his eyes and groaned in defeat.
"I can't do it!" He went.
Willie opened one eye.
"But… I thought I was too dangerous?"
"You are… but I can't kill you since you're just letting me do it. It… doesn't feel right." Frylock answered.
Willie Nelson's eyes widened, feeling genuinely surprised Frylock isn't going to kill him.
"Well, what do we do?" He asks.
"I got an idea." Frylock said.
It was now daytime.
Willie Nelson was running as fast as he could on all fours, panting hard.
"Okay… almost… there." He said before finally making it to the finish line. "Yes! Whoo!"
He paused to take deep breaths.
Frylock hovered to congratulate him, holding a large water bottle he handed to Willie.
"Nice going! I got your smoothie ready at home ready for ya!"
"Oh, thanks, Frylock." Willie Nelson says, squirting some water into his mouth. "Nice, I think that 10 mile run was just what I needed."
Meatwad, back in his usual colors, rolled in to congratulate him.
"Nice one, boy! I knew you could do it!" He exclaimed.
"Thanks."
Shake, meanwhile, was a few feet away in a body cast.
"Yeah, huzzah! Now someone better wheel me to the bar!" Shake ordered.
"Shake, the doctor said not to drink anything like that until you're better." Frylock reminds.
"I ain't waitin' six weeks!" Shake shouted.
"Someone wanna go back to the ghost of Zak?" Frylock asks in a threatening tone.
"No! Not a chance!" Shake shouts with one good eye widened.
"That's what I thought, in any case…" Frylock redirected his attention to Willie. "You've gone two whole weeks without needing to kill someone for a drink."
"I know. Soon, I'll be better than ever." Willie said.
"Excellent. Now, just another 4 miles and we're past the minimum amount." Frylock says.
"Alright… here I go." Willie said as he started running again.
As he left, Frylock smiled as he was proud.
"He's made great progress… looks like we got nothing to worry about, y'all." Frylock said.
"He hasn't tried to eat anyone. Course, the only person we speak to is Carl, who boarded his house up. I know, I saw this morning when I wanted to ask Carl if he's got money." Meatwad went.
"Yeah, looks like Willie's coming up in life…" Frylock said proudly.
Weeks pass by
A taxi pulls up in front of the Aqua Teen house as Willie Nelson carries some luggage.
With a deep breath, he looked to the Aqua Teens and smiled.
"Thanks a bunch you guys. I'm officially off all juice from people." He said.
"No problem Willie. Glad to see you've changed." Frylock said.
"Send us a postcard." Meatwad says.
"Maybe some money too…" Shake said, earning a smack in the back of his head from Frylock.
"Anyway… you've improved for weeks. Keep it up." Frylock said.
"I will… thanks." Willie says as he gets into the back of the taxi.
As the cab drove off, Frylock was still watching with a smile as Meatwad cried tears of joy.
"That ol' boy's goin' places…" He said.
"Yeah sure…" Shake said, not caring as he went back into the house.
Days Later
The Aqua Teens are watching television as Willie Nelson.
"And this monstrous onion creature named after a singer has gone from fitness guru to the next Hollywood star." The newscaster said. "Here's our interview with him."
"Yeah… I got tired of all the ghosts pissed at me, and my friends helped me turn over a new leaf. I don't drink blood from people anymore… only stray animals."
"And what's your latest movie's news?"
"The Shaving? Well… only that we got a hell of a cast. Already hoping to get the sequel ready…" Willie says.
As Frylock and Meatwad looked proud, Shake rolled his eyes.
"Ugh…" This earned the stink eye from Frylock as Shake continued. "Here we go. He thinks he can just go to Hollywood… Well guess what?! You're gonna get your ass thrown out like I did!"
"He didn't try and break into Jennifer Garner's house, Shake." Frylock points out.
"I told you! We met at a bar and she invited me!" Shake went.
"Meatwad and I were there and all you did was walk around until you think you saw her house and tried to get over the gate!" Frylock shouts.
"Well, agree to disagree…" Shake insists before looking to Meatwad. "Now get me a damn beer."
"Get your own damn beer." Meatwad mouths off to him.
Shake gets out of his chair and kicks Meatwad.
"What was that?"
"I said… I'll give you your damn beer." Meatwad said, rolling away. As Shake stood proudly while Frylock glared at him, they heard the sound of guitars, alerting Shake of danger. "Oh hey Zak, he's in there."
"Thanks. Glad you used your creepy game to summon me earlier." Ghost Zak was heard saying before he flew into the living room. "THERE YOU ARE!"
He grabbed Shake by the straw, picking him up and carrying him to the attic.
"NO! OH GOD NO!" Shake cried in horror before the door shut.
Once it shut, the sounds of him screaming in pain, and what sounded like something breaking and glass smashing.
Frylock and Meatwad were beneath the attic entrance, but instead of helping Shake, they smiled and broke the fourth wall.
"Happy Halloween!" They go in unison, ignoring Shake cries of pain.
Another Aqua Teen Hunger Force one shot.
Happy Halloween!