Disclaimer- All characters belong to Richelle Mead.
"There."
Dimitri and I stood in front of a large canvas on the far end of his studio. It was resting against the wall, as if Dimitri wanted to hide it from the rest of the world.
As I looked at it, anything I could have said was stuck in my throat.
The painting was nothing like I had ever seen before. At first glance, someone might mistake if for being a mostly black canvas, but once you stepped closer, you would be blown away by the details. It was a painting of a beach. The sand on the bottom was pitch black. As the sand connected to the water, the colors began to fade into a stormy grey and dark blue. The waves were rough and brutal. It was the furthest thing from a serene beach scene. As ocean faded into the sky, the painting once again turned into dark shades of grey and black.
Amongst all of that darkness, there was one, barely unnoticeable bit of light- a sliver crescent moon hidden between the black clouds.
"It's amazing," I whispered in awe. "When did you paint it?"
"18 months ago."
I knew there was such a thing as 'writer's block' and artists must go through that, too. But 18 months seemed like a really long time, even to me.
"Almost 2 years ago, my best friend died and I painted this right after his funeral."
I don't know what I thought Dimitri was going to say, but it wasn't that. I looked at the painting again, trying to understand it on a deeper level.
"Is it a self- portrait?"
Dimitri froze, and I saw something flare in his eyes; a look that someone might get when they've been exposed without wanting to be.
"I guess, yeah. Though when I was painting it, that wasn't what I intended it to be." He still seemed to be rolling the words I had asked around in his mouth, as if he too was just learning this about himself.
"What happened?" I asked gesturing towards the painting.
"I was very angry when he passed away, mostly at myself. I didn't how to channel that properly so I did this," he told me, waving his hand around the whole painting. "I finished it in one sitting."
My neck snapped in his direction and I felt this sudden urge to comfort Dimitri, because if what he was telling me was true, then he must have been incredibly grief stricken from the passing of his friend. The canvas was nearly the size of the one he was currently painting of me, and he had said it would take multiple sessions to complete it. Dimitri must've worked on this painting for hours and hours nonstop until he was finally finished.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered, not knowing what else I could say to offer my condolences. I wanted to ask more about his friend and why Dimitri was so angry after his death, but Dimitri spoke up before I had the chance.
"After I finished this, I hadn't picked up a paint brush again. I thought any desire I had to paint died with him."
"But you still had hope that you would start again, right?"
He looked at me puzzled. "Why do you say that?"
I pointed at the crescent moon, the tiny bit of brightness amongst the black abyss.
Dimitri seemed to be at a loss of words and I had this brief moment of panic that I had said the wrong thing.
"I…I never thought of it that way Roza."
"It could be seen as a sign of hope, or a reason to start doing what you love again," I suggested. Why else would he add that in such a literal and metaphorical dark painting?
"I didn't think that was possible. I had convinced myself that nothing would ever make me have the desire to paint again."
Dimitri turned towards me, but I was already staring at him. He had shared a lot with me tonight but he was about to say now…I would have never expected it.
"Until I met you."
"You," he whispered moving his hand into my hair. I was completely frozen as Dimitri spoke. "With your beautiful hair, and-" his dark gaze slowly swept down my body as if he could see exactly what was hiding there despite the baggy clothes I was wearing. I saw him swallow roughly before dropping his hand back to his side.
Despite the chill in the room, I felt my body burn with desire for the man in front of me. Aside from the occasional brush of his skin against mine, the hug he had given me earlier when I was upset had been the most physical contact I had ever received from Dimitri. I was overcome with how badly I wanted to be touched by him.
It was as if Dimitri could sense where this conversation, and night were heading so he told me exactly why he had bought to see this painting in the first place.
"So you see Rose, my mother might have been the reason I got into art. But you bought that passion back to life in me." In those few words, Dimitri made me feel more important than I had ever felt before in my entire life.
As he placed the sheet over the canvas, I understood now more than ever why he had been so desperate to paint me, and with that thought, I was eagerly looking forward to our next painting session together.
I stifled a yawn as Dimitri and I walked out of his mini art studio. I had been tired since I got here, but I hadn't expected us to spend so much of the night talking.
"I'm sorry Roza, I've kept you up for so long." I waved Dimitri's apology off.
I was so happy I came here tonight. After telling him about my mom and Dimitri revealing his own rough childhood along with the recent death of his best friend, I felt like we were closer now. Every encounter I had with Dimitri, he dropped another piece from the wall he had up surrounding him. But after tonight, I was able to get a better understanding of who Dimitri was and I was sure he thought the same after my own emotional admission.
"Come on, it's time for bed." Instead of going back to the kitchen, he took a left and we stopped at his bedroom.
"We're sleeping here?" I asked.
"You're sleeping here," Dimitri quickly corrected me. I stood at the entrance of his bedroom, watching him grab a pillow and blanket from the closet. He gently patted my back, pushing me in the direction of his bed.
"Where will you sleep?"
"In the living room." I opened my mouth to protest, but he shook his head, making me swallow whatever I had to say. "I'll be fine. You've had a long day, you need to get some rest."
I looked past his shoulder to the couch in the living room. It was wide, but it didn't look long enough to seem comfortable for his tall frame. He noticed and his voice turned softer, sensing my guilt. "Really Roza, I'm perfectly fine. Get some rest."
"Goodnight," he bid me the same and I settled into his bed. It was only after Dimitri had left and I was completely buried underneath his comforter did I realize how exhausted I was. I turned my face into his pillow and quietly inhaled the scent of Dimitri I liked so much. I felt completely surrounded by it.
I tried, honestly I tried, but I could not fall asleep. I was sleepy, yes, but there was something about the fact that I was in Dimitri's clothes, in his bed that had my mind racing in all directions. I checked the time on my phone, noting it had only been a half an hour since he went to the living room to sleep.
"Don't do it Rose," I whispered to myself, but just seconds later, I threw his comforter off of me and tiptoed into the living room. The lights were turned off, but I could still make out Dimitri's silhouette on the couch. I took one more step closer to him and a floorboard creaked beneath my foot.
His head instantly shot up in the dark.
"It's just me."
"Rose? Why are you up, is everything okay?"
"Yes I just…" I trailed off, turning to look his room then back at him. "I can't sleep."
Even in the dark, I could feel his eyes staring at me, knowing that there was more I wasn't saying.
"I don't want to sleep alone."
Shaking his head, Dimitri put his head back on the pillow and ultimately taking his eyes off of me.
"I've broken a lot of rules tonight Rose, but I refuse to break this one. We're not sleeping in the same bed, goodnight."
"We don't have to sleep in the same bed," I emphasized the last word. I lifted his blanket and lied down next to him.
"Rose!" He seemed alarmed, but I ignored him, pressing myself closer against his body.
"Please Dimitri, I won't ask you for anything else tonight. I don't want to sleep alone. I want to be next to you." I had never spoken with so much vulnerability before, especially to a guy. I had never been the needy type, but I did not think I could handle it if Dimitri denied me this last request.
"Okay," he agreed softly. Dimitri put his arm underneath my head, giving us both more room on the couch. He opened up the blanket, welcoming me into his embrace, "Come here," he whispered in the still dark room.
I welcomed his warmth, wrapping my arm tightly around his waist and laying my head against his shoulder. I was pleasantly surprised at how comfortable he felt despite feeling like he was made of pure muscle. Dimitri's distinct scent flooded my senses and I breathed in deep, not caring if he heard me or not.
After such a long and emotionally revealing night we both had, I was happy that I was able to end it by falling asleep in his arms.
I peeked a look up at his face, and as always, marveled over how handsome he was. His eyes were closed, but I knew he wasn't asleep yet. My eyes trailed further down, passed his sharp nose to his lips. They were perfect, just like the rest of him.
"Dimitri," I whispered, closely watching the expressions on his face.
"Yes Rose."
"Can I ask you something?"
His eyes only opened a sliver to look down at me and he nodded.
"Will you ever kiss me?"
Underneath my head, I could feel his heartbeat speed up though his face gave away no indication as to what he might be thinking.
"It's just that you've seen me naked on more than one occasion and you will soon again in the near future. And now, I'm at your house about to fall asleep with you."
He remained silent, unmoving.
"I'm not asking for one right now," I clarified though I wouldn't be opposed to it, but I didn't say that out loud. "I just wanted to know. Are you ever going to kiss me?"
After several long seconds, I saw Dimitri nod his head slightly. The movement was so quick and small, that if I wasn't staring so closely at him, I would have surely missed it.
I bit my lip from smiling too widely. I didn't want him to know how eager I was.
I lifted my head slightly off of his shoulder to tell him one last thing. "Thank you for being so good to me tonight." I tilted my head up and pressed my lips against his cheek, kissing him softly. His skin felt smooth and warm beneath my lips. I pulled away and rested my head against his shoulder once again.
Just as my eyelids began to droop, I felt Dimitri tighten his arm around my back, pulling me closer into his body.
Dimitri's mouth brushed against the top of my head. "Goodnight my Roza."