Air rushed past me as the stupidity and absurdity of the situation hit me like a brick. My body jumped towards the double doors, and the doors also hit me like a brick. I'm pretty sure I might have fractured my shoulder or something because AAAAA but also the adrenaline was helping. A lot. I've been on edge for a bit, if you couldn't tell.
Anyways, that's about how I ended up on the floor of the governor's room. It was a nice and neat floor, same marble as the floor normally, although it had jewels on every tile, which was cool I guess. My body fails me quite a bit as I hear the clacks of boots after me, and I can hear a pompous man shouting, "By the Emperor! What is that?!"
I am almost immediately grabbed and held up, giving me a view of the room. I struggle a bit as I spot dozens of statues of who cares what, hundreds of gilded trinkets and baubles, desks, chairs, cushions, you name it. But most importantly, the governor was some fat guy with a golden turban, an incredibly bushy mustache but complete lack of beard, and he was talking to a projected screen which glowed a faint green with a person on the other end, like some kind of Skype video call or something. But the most important thing is that the other person was some chick with white hair, a cool cybernetic eye thingy, and… Is that the Inquisitorial badge thing? Rosette. I immediately call out, "Please tell me you're Ordo Xenos! We have an emergency, Inquisitor!" The guards cover my mouth quickly preventing me from speaking as they begin to pull me back.
"Remove this thing from my presence!" the man screams, shooing his hands at me, "Kill it outside!"
"Your will be done, Lord," the robotic voice replies, the powerful arms of the men dragging me into the hallway. Welp, I guess that's all she wrote, but I'll still-
"Governor, bring that man back in here," the video caller says, clearly intrigued if I could tell anything by that tone of voice. Or mildly annoyed. I can't tell that much anymore. Especially since everyone hates me. Except for that one guard. He must have been having a good day.
"But why?! He broke into my-"
"Bring him back. I will not repeat myself."
"Fine!" the governor yells, "Bring him before Lady Aviness!"
The guards decide to alter their direction of dragging, and I immediately lose all my fight against them. Well, this can go one of two ways now. Either I get an Inquisitor's help, or I get shot. Really, I've won in both cases if this is 40k.
They sit me before the screen, guns to the back of my head as the screen tilts to look at me. "How do you know of the Ordo, citizen?"
I breathe a little bit, then reply, "Great question, but not as pressing as-"
"You may handle him, Governor," she says, her screen tilting back as her voice goes back to disinterest.
"Then remove it and-"
"I found a 4th generation Genestealer Hybrid!" I immediately proclaim as the guards roughly pull on me, causing them to stop, the screen tilting back down.
The woman's eyes appear to remain the same as she appears to scan my facial features. I'm trying to keep my breathing steady, but I'd ideally like to live a little longer. Her eyebrows raise as she asks, "Where did you find the Hybrid?"
"In the streets of the main city not too far from this palace, being assaulted by a man. I killed the man, and got close enough to confirm purple skin, slightly ridged looking head, and no pupils in their eye. Identifiably a Hybrid, likely went unnoticed at large due to the natural differences between humans and their pious and productive natures," I rattle off, trying my hardest not to be immediately shot. I'm thankful it was an Ordo Xenos Inquisitor or something. This was pinnacle convenience, I know, but 40k was chock full of conveniences anyways, right?
"I see," she responds, her brow furrowing, "You have admitted to murdering a man."
"No, ma'am," I quickly corrected, "I'm a member of the PDF, I was protecting what I believed to be a citizen of the Imperium. I did not know until it was too late."
The woman nods, and she says, "Very well. I will inquire you on more details soon. Prepare him for my extraction, Governor."
The fat loser sputters, "B-b-but, Lady Aviness, surely, t-this is a bit hasty, is it not? We were having such a g-"
"I will not repeat myself." Hah, get cock blocked, loser. It's me, Ali, ruiner of relationships to be. Seriously, why was a planetary governor trying to mack on an Inquisito- Wait. No, that makes sense.
The screen blips out as the call seemingly ends. The man sighs before he looks at the guards, "She will likely arrive at the pads. Take him there, make sure he does not move from there." He then looks at me then scowls. He doesn't even address me.
Fine. Be that way. Be no different than everyone else. I decide to smugly smile.
"Knock him out," the governor saltily huffs.
I can hear some shifting behind me. "Wait don't do-"
Waking up with splitting headaches staring at something incredibly bright has got to stop being my hobby. I've started to hate the sun. I think it's highly overrated. Also, getting your teeth knocked in is also highly overrated, not that I think anybody likes it. However, that would be the least of my concerns.
Currently, I was in handcuffs and at least four of those guard guys were watching over me with their bulky and impressive armaments. Yeah, I damn well looked like a prisoner, and, for all intents and purposes, I was. But what they didn't know was that… I was utterly hopeless. This was it. Dude, I really didn't think this through. Broke into a governor's palace. Interrupted a meeting. Announced the doom of a place. Inquisition coming by to pick me up. I really messed this one up, huh?
Wow, I needed to sit down. I'm glad I'm already being held up by several guys, or I would have honestly collapsed. I'm feeling overwhelming amounts of just stress and tension gone right now, but it's building back up. What was I even thinking? 'Oh yeah, they'll be rational about it'. God, I'm an idiot.
I look up to the sky and see some kind of black craft coming down. Wait, no, it's like black, gold, and red. Neat. That's an Aquila Lander, if I had to guess by the size and shadow. That'll probably be them. Awful nice of my body to awaken right as important stuff is happening. I think I have a knack for that. I know it'll stop having a knack for anything soon. What do I even say to the Inquisitor?
Oh damn, I haven't actually thought this far ahead. Mostly because I thought I'd be dealing with the governor, not an Inquisitor. Well, whatever. Not important. I cannot be freaking out in front of the Imperium's secret police!
I'm dead for sure, why the hell did I do any of what I did?!
The Aquila Lander touches down, blowing a ton of dust and air directly into my face. I didn't even have my handy dandy goggles and face covering on. Then, a bay thing opens up, and out comes five individuals. Of them, four are in pretty standardized armor with some hellguns, probably Scions that serve as bodyguards, and then her. The Inquisitor. There in her own specially made carapace armor. I can see a hand flamer, a sword in a sheath, and her head in a hood.
The guards let go of me, letting me drop to the floor as I hear her order, "Come with me, then."
A guard attempts to call out, "Lady Aviness, our governor politely requests you stay and-"
"Your governor and his negligence can await my judgement later," the woman snaps back as I get to my feet.
"Yeah, what she said," I puff out, attempting to walk over to the bay. I wave a hand over, and shout, "Later, suckers! I'm outtie!"
After making it onto the pad with the Inquisitor, I could tell she was just about already done with me. Her face was just that of eternal disappointment with me and everything. She quickly says, "Bring us up. We're heading back to the Justice."
"Oh, cool, is that what you call your cruiser or something?" I ask in some vain attempt to remove the tension.
Her eyes meet mine for a second as she orders, "Do not speak." She then looks away as the bay thing shakes, moving upwards.
I immediately collapsed from the shaking. I wasn't in the best state, alright? Any other day of the week, this would have been no problem. Well, maybe except Mondays. I hate those days.
When the bay finally closed up, the Inquisitor ordered, "Get him strapped in." Two of the armored entourage picked me up and carried me over to a seat, wherein I was immediately belted in.
I know for a fact we took off, and there was a bunch of noise for a bit, as well as shaking, but my mind was sort of nodding it off. I think I was still caught up on everything in the past day of my life. I'm kind of having a moment, Inquisitor, so I hope you do not mind putting off the killing of me until I come to terms with everything. I swear, I won't become a spooky Warp spectre and haunt your ass if you just let me-
She asks out of nowhere, "So where did you learn of our existence?"
"I'm not sure," I voice out my thoughts, not really thinking on the question.
"Well I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be more surprised by, your audacity to commit several crimes just to report something nobody else would know about, or the sheer stupidity you must have to expect me to believe that you aren't sure where you've learned about us," she snaps at me, her voice like a cold icy plain of frozen-ness. I don't know, I haven't seen anything cold in the last hot second of my life. It's kind of been a desert all day-round. Wait. Shit, there hasn't been a night time on that planet.
"Is there two suns?" I ask out my thoughts again.
She thinks for a moment before seeming to calm down, "So, you're playing around with us. I could just have you killed right now, if that's what you'd prefer."
"I think I'd prefer just telling you about the possible Genestealer Cult and the fact you could save this world from a possible Tyranid invasion force. Can we save the dying for until after that?" I ask, my mind not able to shut my mouth up. I wanted this to go so much better.
"The Cult will be dealt with, your information is more than enough to assist with that. Now that we know it is present, it will be immediately and swiftly dealt with," the woman assures, "But the real problem is you. You know far, far too much for just a PDF trooper. How do you know of the generations of Genestealer Hybrids?"
"Did some reading," I honestly answered. I didn't want to, but you can't always get what you want when you're coming off the high.
"Some. Reading," she visibly was agitated, but apparently was stuffing down something even worse, or so I had a deep feeling in my bones, "What's your name?"
"Ali Ababwa."
She then looks off as she says, "Astropath, exit the chamber and come into the loading bay area."
Just as she says that, I hear a door open and a man in a robe comes into the room. Upon leering in my direction, his face immediately contorts in terror, screaming at me, "Foul creature! Please! Inquisitor, I request to return! Now!"
"Granted. Go," the woman says, gazing upon me.
The man nods and cries, running away faster than lightning as I hear the door close again. Man, what was up with him?
"It is as I suspected. So not only do you know things you should not, you are also one of them," she intones, then brings her hands in front of her lap, clasping them together. "I apologize if I've been rude. I could not help myself. Now that I know what you are, I shall keep it in mind."
"Wuh?" I asked. What's she apologizing for? "Look, lady, all I need is a shower, I guess. That's been the biggest issue my whole time here."
The woman stares at me for a solid minute, the silence eating away at me. I am about to ask if anything's wrong when she says, "You really do not know what you are, huh? You proceed to intrigue me more, Ali. I can tell you what you are, but you are such an intrinsically valuable asset I cannot let you fall by the wayside or into death so quickly. As it is my job, I won't hesitate to do so, but I will offer you a choice. Become one of my retinue and be given all the equipment, training, and orders required of such a position, or be killed in a place no one will find you."
Have I mentioned I hate dilemmas? "You're not really giving me any good options, are you?"
"An Inquisitor's aid is a very promising position, especially for one of your kind." 'Your kind.' 'One of them'. Lady, I am not appreciating your tone. Next you're gonna call me a freak. You know what? That ain't too different from the usual around here.
I lean in my seat, letting out a breath I didn't even know I was holding as I reply, "I'm in. What's wrong with me, doc?"
"Are you aware of the Warp and Psykers?"
I nod, "Yes, ma'am, fully aware. Daemons, space wizards, and all."
"Never say that again," she orders.
"Okay," I lie.
"Then you must know not all Psykers are equal. A colleague of mine explained it best for me on one occasion. The average human burns like a match in the warp. A Psyker burns like a candle. A powerful Psyker blazes like a torch. But you? You have no light. In fact, so oppressive is your darkness, it would snuff out the others." That… Makes sense, I guess? Wait a second. She continues, "So powerful is this aura of Psychic nothingness that even normal people are put off by it, which is why I was so rude to you, and likely why others have been too. You are a Psychic Pariah."
"Oh. Oh, shit, I'm a Blank?!" And to think I was an asshole for no legitimate reason. And people were assholes to me for no legitimate reason! I'm completely justified! Ha ha, fuck you, Heisenburg! I'm not a freak! Wait. Wait, no, I am a freak.
"Quite so. It appears you know the concept, but never considered you to be one yourself." Truth is, I didn't even think about it until she mentioned it. I knew they were a thing, but I didn't think that much about lore that deep. "And you are such a powerful Psychic Null that, were I to give you to some other forces, you would become quite the weapon."
"Like a Cul… Cuh… Culuhks-sis, right?" I stumble over my words. I'm bigger on Xenos stuff than Imperial stuff, to be frank. Probably why I failed to recognize blank traits.
"Yes, like one of them. I see you know far too many things about far too many secret organizations. That is a powerful tool, you understand."
"And precisely why you want to keep me around," I point out, happy for once to have my fucking answers and a purpose.
She shakes her head, "It is why I feel a compulsion to kill you. However, I know it is better to have you on my side, at least for the moment."
"Ah. So I'm guessing you're more radical, huh?" I ask, "I wouldn't have figured from your disposition," I add offhandedly. Why'd I say that?
She is silent for some time before saying, "I am trying really hard to keep you alive. I sensed you had value."
I chuckle and say, "Well, unfortunately, I have no intentions of not saying what's on my mind. Right now, I'm feeling a comeback of adrenaline because I'm really, really afraid of dying right around now, Inquisitor, and I'm just trying to lighten up my own mood, so apologies that you have to deal with that!" I laugh a bit. Brain, we've been buddies for a while now, but why do you let this happen? This is like an abusive relationship with myself and I can't stop.
She rests her hands and leans back in her seat. "A common enough stress response. Very well. You have my word that I will not kill you."
Ah ah ah, I'm smarter than that. I got a few more clauses you haven't thought that I thought of. "No mind wiping and no having anybody else kill me either."
"I promise none of those," she replies. Man, why can't you even pretend to be nice? By the time you lie, I won't even care because a bolt pistol will have divided my insides across the floor.
"Worth a try," I shrug. I twiddle my thumbs, and say, "So uh… I'm an Inquisitorial Acolyte now? Is that what I am?"
"Is that what you want to be?" she asks. I can't tell if this is serious.
"Eh, I kind of just want to be a helper, I guess. Lorekeeper, maybe, you know? Maybe a negotiator with Xenos I like. Like Necrons, or Eldar, or Orks. I like those ones. They're neat."
She cuts in, "They are repulsive, if that's what you mean."
"That's self-evident, ma'am," I reply without skipping a beat, "But I like their organizational structures and lore. It's honestly very-"
"We are going to have a serious discussion about what you know, for it could shake the very foundation of all our compiled knowledge, I hope you understand," she coldly breaks into my flow, not allowing me to geek out. Well, jeez, I was probably gonna tell you anyway. As the new Lorekeeper… Well, they probably won't- "As my new Lorekeeper, it will be expected that you discuss and publish all you know." Aw hell yeah, I'm the OFFICIAL Warhammer 40,000 Lorekeeper!
"Aye aye, captain," I salute.
She groans for the first time, her facade of cool composure finally breaking down, "Your incorrigible ways are unbefitting your new status."
"I'm a nerd, not a scholar," I reply just as unsatisfactorily, "Just let me have my personality. If I don't have that, I basically have nothing."
"You have your knowledge. That is more useful than your attitude."
"My personality, you mean."
"You are going to make my job very difficult," she predicts. Quite correctly, if I have my way. Well, not correct enough for me to actively make it difficult, but my speech patterns are gonna drive her up the wall.
"You'll love it, I swear." A few of the guys we're with seem to shuffle a bit. They immediately stop as she glares.
"I will formally request you stop your shenanigans with me personally." She moves a hand to her chest, "Just me. Anybody else, feel free to harass them as you please," she ends off with shifting her voice to a very dark tone, "Do not force me to ask informally."
"How would that go?" I ask, my mind curious but my everything else wanting to shut up.
She taps her flamer. "You know."
"I wish I didn't," I reply, knowing she'd probably burn off my hair or something. Fine, don't piss off the mean lady who can erase entire worlds at the press of a button.
I relax back in my seat. For once, I finally had answers. It was never my bad scent that ticked off everyone, it was my literal black hole in the Warp that made everybody so pissed. Man, it feels good being able to blame the Warp for all my problems.
Although, this does bring up the issue of what exactly she intended to do with me. I'm a tool against Psykers, right? That means… Oh man, that means she might send me up against them right? But hey, better than actual domestic terrorism, right? Ha ha, yeah! Just space wizards. Just…
Man, 40k. Why do you always have to be so grim, so dark, and never nice to me? For once, you threw me a bone, you made me an Inquisitor's pet, I thought I'd be able to just nerd out in peace, but you also made me a Blank, and now I'm gonna get turned into a freaky weapon against some of the most horrific shit ever. This sucks. Why do you literally never get better?!
After a certain amount of time, I simply sighed, breaking down my barrier a bit as I poke a guy next to me, "Hey man, got any good games to play?"
The helmet drones out a bit and I get back his voice saying, "Wanna play a game of cards?"
I'm terrible at cards. That's the first thing I can tell you. We never had cards back on the planet, but my god, I could never win a game of poker to save my life. I have an okay poker face, but my luck has always been pretty categorically awful, and that's basically Poker in a nutshell, and fuck you, attack me if you want, but that's honestly all it is! The deck is shuffled, and you can't do anything with your hand once you got it. You don't 'play' with the cards, you just have them, and there's a few cards in the middle that don't change either. It's literally luck ba-
"You alright there?" the guy asks, waving a hand in front of me.
Oh. "Uh, yeah. I'm good, thanks," I say back, leaning back. Damn tangents. Making me look like a damn tool. Well, might as well be one by now.
"Alright then. You got any fun Ork facts?" the guy asks, clearly intrigued by my immense knowledge.
"BOY DO I!" I answer, shouting as Orky as I can.
"Stop that. No talking till we get to the cruiser," the Inquisitor demands.
Awww… Just when I had my chance to nerd out, too. 40k, you are one cruel and unusual mistress.