This is NOT meant to be taken seriously, I made this a One-shot. I might make more in the future to get my writing skills better.
-Geod
(/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\)
Was it wrong for Death to take a vacation?
Apparently so, because at the current moment, he was holding the dead body and the soul of a being named Bete.
Bete's Familia and their Goddess, Loki, weren't too happy about the fact that Bete was presumed dead by this being in front of them.
No, Death didn't walk up to him and drop-kick his soul. Rather, the idiot—Bete, attempted to kiss this other girl, which ended in him being pushed dramatically into Death's cold ungloved hands.
This happened when Death wanted to pass by and pay the bill when his other associate, Bell Cranel, ran off without paying his meal or saying another word.
How uncouth of him! He seemed like a genuine kind transparent soul that befriended him during his sightseeing in the dungeons. Heck, he was having a nice conversation before he suddenly stopped and just ran away. He of course had to find him and ask why such a rude gesture. One does not simply do that and get away with it.
Especially towards Death!
Anyways, he was pulling out his wallet when Bete was launched towards him and when he reacted to grabbed him, he, unfortunately, forgot that if he touched someone without his special gloves, they would be separated in both body and soul.
Which was his current predicament as he was being stared at and possibly targeted by every adventurer and worker of this fine establishment.
Not that they could do anything. He was Death!
In all of his reaping, he still found it hilarious when beings like these talk the talk and walk the walk and still ended up being reaped by him when their time came.
Some took it as a shock, others ran away from his mere presence.
Other times, they would openly laugh and say it was worth the life they lived.
This one time—which still makes him laugh a little, there was a soul of a former God he reaped and by this God's holy powers, he will live forever!
Thus, he ran away into the Void.
…
…
…
Only to find himself coming back to him, over, and over and over again.
Last he counted, it was sixty-nine times before the God finally gave up and said, quote, "Fuck it, I tried at least." Unquote.
It made him smile whenever he thought about it.
…
Hm? Oh, right, the Familia of Loki and the others aren't too keen on him at the moment, he should wipe off that grin of his.
"Is this your friend, Bete?" he asked as he presented the corpse and soul to them.
That seemed to only make them angrier—oops.
"Listen, I'm on vacation at the very moment, and I would like to not take souls until, oh say…" He grabbed his booklet while leaving the soul in the air and checked his schedule.
"Ah, yes! Until the Black Dragon event happens. Oh dear, so many souls to collect on that day, goodness, that's going to be a lot of paperwork. Poor Stephanie, I should probably bring her something from here to help compensate her workload."
"You can't be here! That's not possible!"
Oh no, it would seem he was seen through by Loki.
The others seemed, at first, confused until Loki explained that he was Death.
Drat! He even put on a cloak of sorts to hide his presence!
Oh well.
"You are correct Loki, I shouldn't be here, however, because my—ugh, brothers, are coming here to Orario, to vacation as well, I decided to not reap until the black dragon event. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to put this not currently mouth-breathing, mouth-breather, his soul back, give me a moment."
He put his booklet away and slapped the soul and body back together.
"—Gah! Oh my God! I think I saw—!"
"Yes, yes, that's nice, here I brought you back, now don't die anytime soon, I want to enjoy my time here."
He threw him into the arms of that golden soul, Ais Waldstein.
Huh, that's interesting, her soul shouldn't be—NOPE, absolutely no work of any kind!
"If you're here, then who is taking care of reaping souls?!" Loki asked.
The entire establishment was shaken by this question.
'Geez, why don't you yell it louder.'
"I already told you, I'm on vacation, so no soul will be reaped until such event happens."
It would appear, this washboard of a Goddess did not like the answer he was giving.
"…. you're going to cause chaos aren't you…"
"No, I wouldn't." He said as he grabbed a large bag filled with valis and dropped them onto the bar.
"Sorry for the commotion and such. Please accept these extra payments for the meal I had with my associate and disturbing the peace."
Mama Mia simply gulped and nodded silently as she took the bag.
'Freya's going to go nuts over this.' She thought as she looked over to Syr and saw her glaring at what was Death.
Nodding at Mama Mia, he clasped his hands together to put on his special gloves and tried to walk away, before being blocked by an Amazon girl in front of him.
"I think it's best you answered to our Goddess." Said Tiona.
"Answer? As if girl."
"Really?"
"Yes, indeed. I'd rather do other things than talk to any other Gods, thank you!"
"Then why tell us that you're vacationing here before your brothers? Who are they?"
Oh, he spilled that secret.
Drats! Him and HIS stupid loudmouth!
'Eh, what the Hell, I was already exposed because of this stupid Goddess' loud mouth. Might as well tell them.'
"Fair warning, my brothers might cause some trouble, but certainly not me."
"When," Loki said as she flared her power. "I won't let you leave until you answer all my questions."
Wrong move on her part.
"Oh~ that so cute. You think you have power over me."
He then waved his left arm as he passed by the Amazon, by going through her.
"Sleep."
And that she did, because Loki fell to the ground and began to snore rather loudly.
"What the Hell just happened!? What did you do?!" Loki's Familia asked as they tried to grab him, only to grab nothing but smoke.
'hmmm, how about I try this trolling, as they say, to mess with them a bit.'
That he did, which only further cemented how much they disliked his attitude and his tongue.
"With the wave of my hand and a flick of my dick, you will sleep where you stand after talking like a prick! Now you all have to get on your knees to suck and blow, but not right now, I HAVE TO GO!"
He learned that from a rather raunchy soul that he last reaped.
It made it all worth it as everyone in this pub looked at him with disbelief.
Even the more serious ones were at a loss at his bizarre words.
He ran off into the darkness of the city and was never seen by anyone else until a couple of days later.
(/\/\/\/\/\/\)
Death spent most of his time, sightseeing, bringing souls back, buying delicious foods and exotic goods, smacking some ruffians around with his associate Bell, and antagonizing Freya about her positions and such, while slapping every one of her Familia.
He even made a few deals with a few interesting souls before coming to a stop when War came up from behind and tried to harm him with his brand-new weapons. He called them guns.
…
He did not like the possible paperwork that might be coming from those weapons.
So, he gave that idiot a beating for interrupting his vacation.
And once again, he tried to enjoy his time off when he passed by some interesting events happening around Orario.
Unfortunately, the other idiot, Pestilence, who smiled too much, came and ruined half of Orario's red-light district with his new diseases. Some of which can be transmitted by sexual fluids and compromise the body's main functions, if not treated by strong healing magic.
He was sure to stop that and smack that moron for causing a ruckus. Again, no reaping, he's on vacation.
Then came his—at the very least, tolerable brother, Famine, who looked young and old at the same time. He didn't talk or do that much, which was fine by him and he responded in a rather blunt way with his words or actions. Again, a plus one in his book. Thankfully, he didn't cause anything too drastic and his only use of his power was when the Familia from the Apollo tried to fight him and Bell. So much so, that Apollo himself declared a War game for Bell and Famine.
Oh ho, ho, ho!
Apollo didn't realize when he declared such a thing, he was challenging not only Famine but also the rest of the brothers.
Oh, those poor fools only lasted for three hours before Apollo begged on his knees to stop the madness.
Death was glad to throw Apollo's stupid ass back into his safe space called Heaven.
As a plus, Hestia and her Familia won, so they got a new roof over their heads and some nice compensation for the trouble Apollo caused.
Unfortunately, the good things in the vacation Death were having, were halted once again.
The brothers in Orario that caused so much trouble and stupidity gained the attention of many Gods and Goddesses, that were not exactly decent in terms of how they viewed mortals as entertainment.
As a result, they had attempted to control and use them for their benefit.
In other words, they were trying to use him and his brothers as their playthings.
This did not bode well for any of them.
Oh, how sad that none of them could die, but instead suffer and beg for mercy that was never there.
He pitied their Familia's for their Gods and goddesses' stupidity and ignorance.
Fortunately, Bell and his Familia and a few of his friends/allies were some of the ones that were smart enough to avoid such a one-sided fight.
Giving it the word fight, was a very generous thing The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse could all agree upon calling it.