A/N: This chapter contains lemons, if you are opposed, please skip ahead to the first page break.
Pointed-exclaimation thank you for your reviews!
Lucyole thanks for the cookies!
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
"I do not know what I am doing." The admission fell from Severus without prompt, but he was worried about her expectations.
Hermione smiled, running her fingers over his cheek and down to his chin. "I don't either, but we'll figure it out together. We'll figure it all out."
He had no idea what she meant by that, but he had a feeling it entailed more than this moment they were about to share. He nodded.
"Together."
It felt good to say it. A simple word of confirmation, that neither of them was alone in their love or their desire. He placed another kiss in the same spot as his last, acutely aware of the tremble that wracked her body and the heady scent of her desire, right in front of his face. Severus moved one of his arms slowly from behind her to around front, brushing his knuckles up the inside of her thigh. Hermione's legs quivered and her breath sharpened. He met her heavy gaze, the piercing clarity of her eyes fading into something more muddled, primal. He paused his knuckles at the edge of her wonderfully Slytherin panties before running his thumb over the centre of the cloth. Hermione's hips jerked forward, and she whimpered as he took note of the small nub of her clit, the heat and moisture of her opening, her scent flooding his nostrils. Severus continued stroking her folds and rubbing her clit through the underwear, entirely enraptured in Hermione's reactions, her sounds, her fingers gripping his shoulders, the way she dissolved before him. He kept it up until her knickers were soaked through and she babbled incoherently, and he had to stroke himself through his trousers to relieve some of the ache.
With a swift fumble, Severus dragged the knickers down her legs and helped her step out of them. Severus Snape was a starved man and there was only one thing in the world he wanted to consume. He pressed his face eagerly between her thighs and lashed out his tongue, groaning at the slick moisture coating her folds and the needy pulse of her muscles. He thrust his tongue inside her, drunk on the curses that tumbled from her lips as her hips rocked against his face. He licked his way to her clit and flicked his tongue over the swollen nub. Her hips jerked violently, and he focused his attention there, finding the things that made Hermione thrash. He continued, slipping a hand between her legs to find her soaked entrance and slowly slid two fingers inside her. Her gasp, the feel of her, was mind numbing, and Severus curled his fingers forward, desperate to hook her closer, and before he truly registered the choked sound of surprise she made, he curled his fingers again and again, pulsing inside her as his mouth focused on her clit.
He knew the exact moment she shattered. Her orgasm crashed through her body with sudden violence and her fingernails dug into his scalp as she cried out his name. Her body pulled taught and perfectly still. He tried his best to disguise the fact that he came with her, but the strength he had been using to support her with his hands and face faded and he tried to steady her as she slid down the door and onto his lap. He laughed, though the sound was more of a rasp.
"Whatssat?" Hermione mumbled into his shoulder.
"We barely made it past the door."
Hermione huffed out a laugh and leaned back enough to look at his face. Her skin was flushed and her eyes still heavy with her orgasm. "I was imagining a bed when this happened, but this was way better."
Severus smoothed her ruffled hair back from her face, gathered her into his lap, and with a surprising show of strength he didn't know he had, stood. He carried Hermione to the bed, propping her against the pillows and noticed her eyes travel to his crotch with a frown.
"Oh, I didn't -"
"Hermione, there is no need. Besides, I am afraid I have to inform you I came in my trousers like a teenager."
Amusement played across her features, but he felt no ridicule there or judgement, which eased his embarrassment. At least until she lurched forward and grasped at his belt again.
"What are you doing?"
"You've seen me naked. Fair's fair."
Severus heaved a sigh and before he considered a wandless, nonverbal vanishing spell to save him further embarrassment, Hermione already had his trousers pulled past his hips revealing his dark grey undershorts, a large spot near the front darker than the rest. Severus' heart rate picked up, and without lust addling his brain, he found himself suddenly shy of his near nudity. He shifted uncomfortably as Hermione moved to sit in front of him, her knees on either side of his own, and shoved his pants down to his ankles. She tucked her fingers into the waistband of his undershorts and looked up at him. He was surprised to see desire in her eyes again and watched with confusion as she pulled the shorts from his body. Her fingers wandered aimlessly over his hips and thighs, though he watched her gaze flick between the white mess now apparent in the shorts crumpled on the floor and his still messy cock. She seemed to be debating something, and after a long moment, she reached behind her and unclasped the bra, tossing onto the floor, and crawled beneath the blankets.
"Lay with me?"
Hermione sounded incredibly uncertain, and Severus immediately joined her in the bed, gathering her into his arms where she pressed tightly against his body, nuzzling against his chest.
"So much for Gryffindor courage." She grumbled.
Severus could have laughed. "Regardless, I need a few minutes. Then you can be as courageous as you please."
"Did you enjoy…?"
"Yes."
They stayed up late into the night, fingers wandering over each other's bodies as they talked, Hermione's diabolical plans for his cock seemed temporarily forgotten. He pressed his lips to her forehead when he realized she had fallen asleep and squeezed her just a bit tighter. He had never dared dream of this day with Hermione, whether it was because he was in denial about having a soulmate, in denial about falling in love, or fully accepting of his death prior to the end of war, he wasn't sure. He supposed now it was a good thing, he could bask in the joy and pleasure it brought him without comparing the experience to any expectations.
Severus did nothing to hide his erection in the morning as he woke with Hermione's arse pressed firmly against him. She woke with a pleased groan, wiggling back against him until he moaned, at which point she turned to face him, grinning as she reached her hand between them to grasp his cock. Severus suppressed another moan.
"Did you sleep well?" She purred.
"Indeed."
"Good." The way she smiled at him; Severus knew Hermione had plans.
Hermione kissed him as she shifted under the blankets to straddle him and his hands wandered from her hair to her ribs to her hips and back, trying to balance his desperation for more of her with patience as she moved her mouth down his body. Spots he had never considered erotic shot jolts of pleasure through him as she explored; his collarbone, his ribs, the bite she placed on his hip bone, her fingernails on the backs of his knees. It was almost too much when she tentatively licked the length of his erection and his hips jerked against his will. She tried again and Severus tangled his fingers in her hair, panting. On her next pass, Hermione drew his cock slowly into her mouth and he arched into the sensation. She continued, her head bobbing, her tongue swirling about his shaft until he pulled her off him with frantic movements.
"No," he gasped, "not yet."
Hermione pouted at him, but he felt a pleased shift in the shape of her lips as he tugged her up against him and covered her mouth with his own. Buying time for him to calm down, Severus discovered her breasts truly for the first time, his hands and mouth exploring in equal fervour. Then her ribs and her soft stomach, the curve of her thighs. Severus decided he had never touched anything as beautiful as Hermione. She stopped him with a ferocious tug on his arms.
"Severus, please." Her voice shook with need.
He answered her call, snaking his way back up her body, hovering a moment to touch his lips to hers, and slowly guided himself into her. Both of them gasped and Severus tried to ignore the trembling of his body as he pulled out and thrust again. She felt like heaven, warm and wet around his cock and he shifted her hips upward so he could rub his finger over her clit. Her keening, incoherent cries grew sharper and shorter with each gasp and each thrust. This time when she came, Severus was the one who moaned curses as her whole body went rigid, arching off the bed, her fingernails dragging down his back. Severus came one thrust later, his hips jerking as he filled her. He collapsed on top of her, trying his best to hold some of his weight up.
Severus didn't know how much time had passed when Hermione finally unfurled from around him and placed a kiss on his shoulder where her face was buried.
"I love you, Severus."
"And I you."
Hermione's parents left the day after Christmas, desperate to return to a slightly warmer climate. She didn't mind, it felt like things between them were good and their happiness at returning to their beautiful home in Esperance was contagious. That and her newfound favourite leisure activity didn't exactly account for visitors. Every moment they could spare, Hermione and Severus dedicated themselves to exploring each other's bodies and all the insane, pleasurable things they could do. They emerged the weekend before classes started to wish Remus well at his new post. The house was quiet that Monday with Remus, Teddy, and Draco gone, a kind of quiet that prompted Hermione to begin her job search again.
The months seemed to fly by in a blur, weekdays gave Hermione and Severus precious time together. They discovered who they were as a couple and decided to find a place together as soon as Severus could leave Wilmet. He grew restless in the passing months and took Fridays to pace the grounds and brood alone. On those days he reminded Hermione of her dour professor and she would realize anew how difficult his life had been. Weekends always prompted a good time with Remus, Teddy, and Draco returning. Near the end of spring, Draco started bringing a woman with him. Lydia had the same sharp blue eyes as Draco, but her hair was dark brown that tumbled about her shoulders in waves. Hermione liked her immensely and the two often spent Friday evenings together while Draco and Remus caught up and Severus finished his brooding by sending off small stacks of letters.
It was a lovely June morning, spring giving way fully to summer, when Severus approached Hermione in the garden. She had taken to transfiguring one of the stone benches into a comfortable lounge to sit in the sun as she read or searched for jobs. At the sight of him, Hermione smiled, putting aside her copy of the Daily Prophet. Severus sat beside her, propped on the edge of the lounge, his elbows on his knees. Her eyes fell to the parchment he shifted nervously in his fingers.
"What is it, Severus?"
"I received a job offer."
"That's fantastic! With whom?"
"Do you remember Fergus?"
"The wandmaker in Falmouth?"
"Yes. He has been considering retirement and was searching for someone to take his place. He offered that position to me."
Hermione stared at Severus, processing everything this meant. At last, she grinned. "That's amazing! And it's something you would like to do?"
Severus shrugged a shoulder, "It is something new and I think that's important."
"Good! You've only got a month of house arrest left and we can go look at places down there."
"What about your career?"
Hermione took a deep breath. She had finally realized that the Hermione she had once been was not the same person she was now. She had tried, looking for jobs that a know-it-all who believed in the power of good would love. But she was more of a realist. She was someone who had fought battles and won. She was someone who now saw the twisted intricacies of the Ministry. The battles she had fought for those who were mistreated were now wars being waged and won by others.
"I think I need something new too, and this will keep me from looking in the same old spots over and over."
The stiffness in Severus' body eased and the space between his brows smoothed. "I see."
…
Severus spent the next month buried in letters between himself and Fergus. The wandmaker would send him books to read or magic to study. Hermione would fetch him whatever wasn't already in the Wilmet library and return with other mysterious packages she warded against him but added to their trunk of shrunken things that they would be taking with them when they moved. It was a semi-regular occurrence that Severus doubted his choice, he was an excellent potions master, a skilled legilimens, and a powerful duellist, but he had never created anything, at least not like this. Inventing spells was different than creating a wand. And while it made him doubt the direction he was heading; it was revitalizing to learn something new.
The month flew by, and Severus felt more than prepared to take up the mantle offered to him. The evening that marked the end of his house arrest, everyone was there: Draco and Lydia, Remus and Teddy, Alistaire and Sterling. Even Blaise showed, along with McGonagall, the Weasleys and Harry. Hermione and Remus had planned a small celebratory party which had turned into a larger one once Hermione realized they would be moving. Severus found himself actually enjoying the company and the questions they asked, and he explained his new job freely. Most seemed rather surprised that he hadn't found another potions dungeon to lurk in, but McGonagall had cornered him between courses to say she had been eager to find out what new skill set he would take up. He and Hermione went to bed exhausted that night.
In the morning, the remaining group waved them off as they set down the path of Wilmet Gardens towards the gates. They paused at the inner gate and looked back at the grounds they had memorized over the years.
"Will you miss it? I think I will, a little." Hermione curved her fingers around his hand.
Severus shrugged. "Yes and no."
"I understand." Hermione's smile was bright and eager as they stepped into the apparition point between the two gates.
Severus sucked in the air, as if it were any different on this side of the wall. Perhaps it was, perhaps it wasn't, but it was his first breath outside of Wilmet Gardens in a year. The last breath he remembered taking outside of these walls, he had been certain he was going to die. Instead…. Instead, his life had become this: a soft, beautiful thing with endless possibilities. His dark, hard edges felt too sharp and out of place here. Severus took another breath, this time steadying himself with the old familiarity of Occlumency. It felt like a stiff muscle, and he did not push it enough to hide his emotions completely, but enough to get him through this day.
"Can you apparate us there?" Severus' fingers twitched at the urge to hold a wand, to perform magic. But apparition was not a good place to start.
"Of course." Hermione let go of his hand and coiled her arm around his own.
Side-along apparition was never a pleasant experience, but after a year of living with suppressed magic, it was even worse than usual. Severus pressed a palm to the building that appeared next to him and did his best to push the nausea away. After a few moments, he felt somewhat normal and pulled his hand from the wall, looking up to observe where they were. Currently, they were pressed into a small alley between two buildings. The main street was humming with summer traffic and across the way was an inn, the name of which Severus recognized. He had booked them a week's long stay there, hoping at that time they would find somewhere permanent to live. Severus looked down at Hermione standing beside him. She seemed positively radiant and the smile she offered him seemed to unstick his feet from the earth and he made the first step towards the inn.
They were only at the inn long enough to check in and drop off their shrunken trunk. Hermione was eager to look at the homes for sale before lunch. The local owlery had a variety of posters tacked up and as Hermione pulled down ones advertising houses, the posters replaced themselves. Severus was mostly resisting the urge to hide away in their room at the Inn. He could hardly stand to be around so many strangers, uncertain if they were friend or foe or if that one was looking at him funny. Anxiety crawled up his spine and every muscle in his body tensed, poised for battle. He was barely keeping himself together and he realized with a wave of relief that Hermione was leading him to houses that were more on the outskirts of the town, where there was space between the buildings and foot traffic wasn't as busy.
The first house was a no. He wasn't sure what it was about the place, but he and Hermione took one look at it, a look at each other and walked away, Hermione crumpling the poster in her hand. The second house seemed alright, average, and so they requested access. The wards on the house shifted themselves and allowed the couple in. The inside, Hermione informed him, was far too much like the Gryffindor common room and neither of them felt particularly inspired. And so, they continued, their hunt taking them further from town until Hermione turned them back with an exasperated sigh and marched them to the nearest restaurant.
"You truly expected to find a house on the first day?"
Hermione huffed, "I was hoping so. But I forgot how important this is and none of these places feel right."
"I know."
"What if we don't find one we like?"
"We expand our search."
"And live far from the wand shop? That would just mean more -"
"Are we wizards or not?"
"Right."
They fell silent as the waiter delivered their food, refilling their teacups with a wave of his wand before he apparated to a different table across the room. Severus felt that same chill up his spine and he slowly urged the tension from his shoulders to his arms and out his fingertips before he picked up his fork.
"Do you think Fergus will have you do any work today? You're practically ready to run the shop yourself. Although first you have to be a customer." Hermione winked at him.
Severus flexed his fingers again. "I will be glad to have a wand."
He had sorely missed his old wand, which he imagined to be out in the forbidden forest somewhere, probably snapped in two by now. He sighed and finished his lunch slowly. HIs enthusiasm to return to the world was severely dampened. How could he really start over if crowds made him tense and jumpy? Throughout lunch, he noticed something though, he wasn't the only one. Sometimes there would be a loud noise from a table or the kitchen and Hermione would flinch. Her face never gave anything away, but he knew that somehow, she felt that same tension too. At some point he slipped his hand across the table and squeezed hers.
After lunch Hermione walked with him to the wand shop, greeted Fergus and his wife and then disappeared down the aisles. Fergus welcomed him with a friendly handshake, encircling one of Severus' hands with two of his own.
"Severus Snape, welcome back." Fergus' smile was kind, "In your letters ya seem quite prepared. Couse, you'll be needing your own wand first."
Severus said nothing as Fergus started drawing from a stack of lovely wooden boxes and passed them to Severus. The insides were lined with soft tartan, made of pale, unobtrusive colours. Severus tried wand after wand. It seemed endless and the pile of rejected wands was getting larger and larger. Severus was growing impatient and took a deep breath before taking the next box from Fergus. It was lined with the same pale tartan and the wand itself was a pleasant cinnamon colour that reminded him strongly of Hermione, as if it twisted and knotted the colours of her hair and eyes into one. Hoping that to be a good sign, Severus pulled the wand from its box and pointed it at the bare wall which looked like it had been subject to an infinite number of misfires. Warmth filled his body, like viscous heat was pouring through his veins and the wand trembled and glowed a soft orange.
"Ah, at least." Fergus had that same strange, self-satisfied smile Ollivander had when Severus got his first wand, and Severus wondered if it was an expression he would have to adopt as well. "A curious combination, can you identify it?"
This was the tricky part. Severus' practical experience had been limited to the wands of those who visited Wilmet, and thus wands made by the common ingredients Ollivander used. Fergus' wood and cores seemed to be made out of anything. Severus ran his nails along the wood, brushed it under his nose, and tested a few light spells.
"Applewood. The core is…" Severus frowned, "Unstable. Not unicorn or phoenix."
"Thestral tail hair." Fergus supplied, "quite a difficult core to make a wand with and nearly as challenging for the owner. Now you are ready."