Hello,

I am sooo happy I got to this chapter for this one was the INSPIRATION for this entire fic lol, especially the scene in the dining room with all the other Bridgertons was why I wanted to write this fic, so I was stoked to be able to do so finally. Hope you enjoy, see you at the next one (presumably the last one but I said that last time as well so we'll see. )

P.s. Please check out my other Bridgerton fic "Balance" (that one is about Benedict).

She had hardly slept all night and she looked terrible, sporting puffy eyes and a tearful face. She would have preferred to crawl into a hole now, far away from everyone, but that was not an option. She needed to speak to him; not to change his mind, although Mara was curious as to what had caused him to change his mind.

What had changed? She had wrecked her brain about it, but she did not understand why he had altered his thoughts. Mara had planned to speak to him after receiving Sienna's letter; perhaps to be lenient since it was only in Cornwall that she realised she loved him. She had realised that she did not love Henry but Anthony, and that what she had felt for Henry once belonged to the past. The pain was gone too; so was the resentment; she had accepted it for what it was. Because he had chosen Lauren, Anthony had come onto her; and although the decision to marry him had been bizarre, it had felt right even though it had taken her a while to get used to him. It was also something; to be married within a week to a man she hardly knew; from her parents' house and although the distance between the two houses was small, she had cried the first night out homesickness for her family.

Mara had felt like a fish out of water; suddenly trusted in a role she no longer thought she could take on, that of lady of the house, and the added pressure of being Viscountess. Mara had done her best; done her best to play a role that did not suit her, but at the end of the day, imposter syndrome struck in all its ferocity. She had felt inadequate; not up to the task; her insecurity played tricks on her and no matter how many times Anthony assured her that she had been a good hostess during the many evenings they had entertained guests, she had not felt up to par and had often thought that another woman could have done it much better.

The rapprochement with her husband Anthony had been slow but sure, and slowly he had been able to diminish her insecurity a little, slowly she had begun to believe that maybe, just maybe, she would be suitable as his wife, that they could both put the past behind them until he proved her wrong and the dream was shattered.

And just when she had wanted to talk to him; at least hear him out, he sent divorce papers. Even though she was curious about the reason, she would not contest it as she knew once Anthony had made his mind up no one could change it.

That said, there was one hitch that prevented a painless separation; the fact that she was pregnant. She had not yet made a doctor's appointment but there was no denying her severe morning sickness and all the other symptoms that came with early pregnancy.

Her parents were overjoyed to hear that they would have a grandchild and hoped that this would be a good reason for a reunion between her and Anthony but... she didn't want that. She didn't want him to take her back just for the child; but on the other hand, he had to know. It was a very double feeling for her; because she didn't want to divorce him, but her pride also prevented her, she didn't want him to change his mind because she was pregnant now because it was 'the way it should be'.

Mara had doubted whether she should tell him, yes or no, and somewhere she did not want to do it for the above reasons but her sense of justice she had not been able to ignore.

He had to know so she had sent out a note to let him know that she had returned and that she would like to him yet had received a curt one in return stating that 'all communications would ought to through their respective lawyers" and that "Mr. Bridgerton had no desire nor intention to see her".

Her father had fumed and wanted to barge over there to 'knock some sense into him' but she and her mother had managed to pursue him not to.

She had stared at the letter, not understanding its cruelty and carelessness. She knew that he was the type of man who could be stubborn and seemingly insensitive, very much business-like, a trait he had adapted to the 'ruler' of the family, but he also had a soft side to him. He had been patient with her after all, patient for months, giving her time to get used to him even though he was aware of their unmistakable attraction to each other. He knew before Mara did, but it was all for nothing now.

Had she ever known him, or had she only presumed to do so? In what 8 months they were worried had she gotten to the core of who he was; had truly gotten to known him?

It didn't seem like it and... what now?

Did she now have to send him a letter of "Thanks for letting me we are divorcing me but um I'm pregnant?" through her father's lawyer. That would be inappropriate. So, she had to go and see him, whether she wanted to or not.

She had nervously gone to their house; well, it wouldn't be 'their' house in a few weeks or months to see him, but the butler had informed her that he had gone to the Bridgertons for breakfast. Oh dear... She wasn't exactly in the mood for a family reunion now. Mara could have waited until he came back, in their house, but the memories overwhelmed her too much and the realisation that she wouldn't be living there for long was getting painful so before she knew it, she had gone to the Bridgertons, on an impulse.

She was let in and was informed that the family was having breakfast and so, with a pounding heart, she went to the dining room and knocked on the door. Violet Bridgerton said she could come in, so she opened the door and entered. Innumerable eyes seemed to be staring at her; the whole family was there including Daphne and Simon's and the conversation and noise were instantly brought to a halt. Her eyes searched the table until they found him sitting at the head of the table, looking at her in bewilderment, as did the rest of the family.

"Mara..." he said, and her name was spoken softly, vulnerable for a moment but soon after, his expression hardened...

It was better this way... No time for sentimentality. The first thing he wanted to do was get up, run to her, and take her in his arms but he didn't. It was better that way; he repeated inwardly; trying to convince himself but somehow not believing it.

"Can we have a word, Anthony? I need to tell you something" she said in a pinched voice; trying her best not to burst into tears.

He looked at her perplexed at first, but soon his expression hardened.

"I don't know why you're here because I told you I'd rather deal with the lawyers, but since you're here it would be impolite to send you away, I guess. So, if you have anything to share with me, you may" he stated somewhat bluntly.

If looks could kill, Anthony Bridgerton would be dead because Violet was looking at him with utter annoyance in her gaze.

"Excuse me, Anthony?" she said in a sharp voice. "What exactly do you mean? Why did you hire a lawyer?" she frowned.

"I had not wanted to announce it like this" said Anthony with a sigh "but me and Mara are getting a divorce. I have asked them to initiate the divorce proceedings" he stated. The sentence should have come out emotionless but at the end his voice had faltered; that was obvious to everyone, everyone except Mara who felt a painful jolt go through her again. Most of the Bridgertons had gasped at the news and were staring at Anthony in astonishment.

"And why exactly do you want to divorce her, hhm Anthony?" asked Violet Bridgerton.

"That is a private matter and between me and Mara, mother" said Anthony in an annoyed manner.

"But why, Anthony?" asked Mara suddenly; and the question influenced Anthony's stoic attitude as once again his gaze softened.

"I am only giving you what you want. You were the one who wanted a divorce," he said. Damn, this was too hard to do. Was this worth it? She was here, wasn't she? But no... Henry blasted Carrington had visited her, in Cornwall of all places, twice in fact. And he, as her husband, hadn't known where she'd been for a fortnight; had spent every night wondering if she was all right and where the hell she was.

"You shouldn't have left," he said measuredly; at least he wanted it to sound like that.

"Yes. I know. And you shouldn't have gone to Sienna" she retorted.

"For the last time... Nothing happened between me and Sienna, but you wouldn't believe me" replied Anthony again... They looked at each other briefly; until it was too painful for both, and they both averted their gaze. Did she have to tell him that Sienna had sworn to her heart and soul that nothing had happened? Would it matter? Given his harsh attitude towards her, no.

"I... I think it would be better if all of us left so you can continue-" Violet began but was interrupted by her eldest son.

"No. You will all stay here," said Anthony. It was a cowardly move; he knew it too but if he were to stay alone with her, he would not be able to hold back.

"Fine" sighed Violet. "Then I'll take Hyacinth and Gregory with me" Violet wanted to suggest but this idea was immediately shot down by the two youngest Bridgertons.

"I'm not going anywhere" said Hyacinth in a determined tone.

"Yeah. Fat chance of that happening mother," said Gregory. Lady Bridgerton was against corporal punishment but at this moment she would have loved to drag both children out of the room pulling on their little ears but as was mentioned; she hated spanking and preferred other punishments. There was not much she could do now so instead she gave both children a 'wait until we are alone look' and refrained from comment.

"Mara" said Daphne. "Do sit down and have something to eat" said her sister-in-law kindly.

"No thank you, Daphne. I just want to speak to your brother".

"Well, go ahead then" he said bluntly. "This is my family; we are not among strangers".

"Anthony... Wouldn't you rather to be alone with her so you can discuss things" Simon suggested.

"No. NO ONE IS LEAVING. You all are staying put" Anthony demanded on a harsh tone before directing his attention back to his wife.

"Are you going to tell me or not?' he demanded to know.

Shame rose to her cheeks. How could she possibly, share with all of them the intimate news that she was pregnant... She couldn't; so, she chose to withdraw; what this meant for their baby; what consequences this would have she didn't know but one thing she did know.

She had already embarrassed herself enough this afternoon, in front of these people she was very fond of, and she couldn't take it anymore.

"Never mind, I suppose you're right. Perhaps it would be better if we used the lawyers to communicate via. I will inform my father so that we can" and she swallowed briefly "set the procedure in motion as soon as possible".

"My apologies for disturbing you" and her gaze went to her mother-in-law. Violet's gaze was compassionate, and she nodded briefly.

"Bye everyone " she said, and she glanced at each Bridgerton individually. When she got to Anthony, her gaze lingered a little longer than normal.

"Goodbye Anthony" and just at that moment she was overcome by an attack of nausea which made her reach for her mouth in horror just to hold back.

"Are you okay?" said Daphne and she stood up and walked towards Mara, but she waved away her good intentions.

" I'm fine, Daphne thank you. Fine. We'll be fine" she said, completely unsuspecting of the last part of her sentence.

"I have to go now," and on that note she turned and walked away, closing the door behind her.

Countless eyes seemed to stare at Anthony angrily as they left, but he pretended not to be aware of anything and took a piece of his bacon and put it in his mouth. At least he wanted to do that because the piece of bacon was literally knocked out of his grasp when he felt a firm slap on the back of his head. He looked back at the culprit and saw Benedict looking at him dead serious and not at all sorry for what he had done.

"Benedict... you jerk. What was that for? I'm going to -" and he immediately demonstrated what he wanted to do by going to the back of Benedict's head with his hand and doing the same to him until he heard his mother yell.

"Anthony Bridgerton. Don't you dare!" she warned him much to his irritation.

"But mother he hit me!" exclaimed Anthony in dismay, as if at that moment he was 10 again and Benedict 8 and they had been arguing about a toy or something.

"I'm not going to repeat myself" his mother said to which Anthony only looked at her resentfully and then down the table for he felt as if everyone was glaring at him.

"What?" he asked angrily.

"Benedict; my man. Thank you for that just now, if you hadn't smacked him , I would have," said Simon. Benedict made a smug face and a waving gesture with his hand that seemed to indicate 'it was nothing'.

"As would I have" said Daphne referencing that she had also slapped her big brother.

"Daph!" exclaimed Anthony, shocked that his favourite sister would say such a thing, but she just gave him a curt nod emphasizing that she would have followed up on her threat.

"Face it brother, we all would have slapped you and enjoyed it too" remarked Eloise dryly and they were probably right to do so, Anthony dejectedly thought. That had gone terribly. Just awful; he felt awful.

"What the hell was that for, Anthony? Explain yourself!" Colin who had been silent until then wanted to know.

"Language, Colin" reprimanded Violet.

"Apologies, mother. I shall rephrase. What the hell was that for; please explain yourself " Colin corrected to Benedict chuckled a bit. He then saw his mother glaring at him, and he stopped.

Colin shook his head in disbelief and paused for continuing.

"You are my oldest brother. I have always looked up to you... because you always do the right thing, but I have never been so disappointed in you. Never" Colin said as he looked at Anthony directly.

"The Anthony I know wouldn't run away from his responsibilities and abandon his marriage and wife..."

You could hear a pin drop after that. Anthony didn't respond; just gazed back at his younger sibling in silence; knowing that he was right. He could argue; he could tell Colin about Henry's visits to Mara but that wouldn't change much.

"Excuse me but I have suddenly miraculously lost my appetite" he said as he stood and took his napkin off his lap and threw it on the plate and then left the room with abrupt steps.

Silence engulfed the room, and everyone was staring awkwardly, and someone said nothing for a long time...

"Why did she say we?" asked Eloise suddenly with a puzzled look on her face.

"What?" Francesca asked.

"Mara... She said 'we'll be fine' at the end; speaking in plural tense" remarked Eloise.

"Oh... yes, she did say something like that now that you mention it" remarked Francesca. "Peculiar thing to say but maybe she meant herself and her family?".

"But that doesn't make sense, does it? The Kensington's are well off and not in fear of poverty. No, it seemed like she was talking about herself and another person because-" Eloise's gaze dropped to her eldest sister and to her pregnant belly and then seemed to be struck by thunder; her mouth fell open and her eyes grew large.

"What is it, Eloise? Why are you looking at me like that?" asked Daphne. Confused as to why Eloise was staring at her belly, she glanced at it briefly and then understood exactly why she had.

"Anthony! That thing she wanted to tell you; her nearly throwing up just now. I think she is with child" Daphne stated.

Anthony stared, shocked, first at Eloise; then at Daphne; then at Eloise again until he finally was able to formulate words and actually utter them.

"Oh my God. OH. OH. My God" he said while standing up.

"Oh Lord. I must... She... She is going to have my- "and then he smiled at the thought but not for long his expression changed once more into a serious one for he had to talk to her now.

"I. I... have to" he repeated without explaining what he had to do.

"Go, yes" said Violet with an amused little smile.

"Go on then" she suggested. Anthony nodded and then stormed out of the room, ran downstairs and almost collided with a servant, mumbled 'sorry' and ran out of the house as fast as he could.

The Kensington's fortunately did not live from Anthony's childhood home but by the time he got there he was pretty much out of breath. As soon as he saw the front garden, he sprinted to the door and banged on it several times.

The door remained shut, so Anthony slammed it a few more times, this time calling out her name.

"Mara! Mara! Please open" but it was no use; there was no answer, so he repeated his previous actions, this time hitting it so hard that the door began to show damage and then suddenly he saw the butler, Mr. Tennison standing in front of him.

"Mr. Bridgerton... Your wife has informed me that she doesn't want to see you so you can stop destroying our way of entrance" he said in a drawling tone.

"Tennison. Let me pass. You don't understand... I need to see her " and Anthony tried to wriggle past the tall man but failed to do so to his dismay as he was immediately blocked from passage.

"I'm sorry sir" said the butler before the door was slammed in Anthony's face.

However, he did not give up so easily and started shouting again and working the door to the annoyance of Mara and her mother.

"Child! Tell him to stop. Talk to him" commanded Henrietta Kensington.

"No mother. He wouldn't talk to me so why should I talk to him now?" replied Mara angrily. She was truly angry at her husband; at the way he had treated her but the moment she heard him ranting outside about her; a glimmer of hope had revealed itself in her bosom. Her pride stood in her way though; he had been cruel, downright rude to her, so she left him outside.

"Mara..." her mother began but her daughter quickly interrupted her.

"No, I will not" she replied resolutely to which Henrietta shook her head.

Anthony went on and on and no matter how much she wanted to ignore him, she could not. Then he kicked particularly hard, almost knocking the door out of its hinges, and then she had had it. She walked resolutely towards the kitchen where she saw a bucket of mop water and then picked it up from the floor.

"What are you doing?" her mother asked her weary as she had filled the bucket and was heading towards the corridor with it in her hands. At that moment Henrietta caught on and understood her daughters' intentions and tried to fetch the bucket but Mara was relentless and didn't budge.

"Mara don't do it; this behaviour does not suit you or us in general" Henrietta warned when she saw her nearing the entrance and intending to carry out her plan.

"Mother is right, sister." she suddenly heard a voice say from behind and she turned around to see her sibling standing there. "You shouldn't do it" Lucas said in a serious tone of voice.

"See Mara. Your little brother has more common sense than you" Henrietta remarked; happy that an unfortunate situation had been prevented.

"You are pregnant... You shouldn't be carrying the bucket... Allow me" grinned Lucas. She laughed and before or their mother could say anything he had taken it off her and had run off with it.

"Lucas." Anthony said when the door opened, and he smiled at the young boy.

"Good to see you. I need to speak to your- "but at that specific moment Lucas picked up something from the floor and flung it towards him.

Whatever it was... it was awful; it smelled awful, and Anthony knew that his good suit was ruined. He cursed several times, then straightened himself up and went on with what he was doing, much to Mara's irritation. So, she walked up to the balcony on the first floor that was facing the street and looked down.

"MARA!" he shouted on the top of his lungs. Thank God, none of the neighbours had noticed them so far with the amount of ruckus Anthony was causing.

"What? What do you want?" she asked. He glanced in the direction from where the sound came, then took a few steps backwards and looked up to where he saw her standing: her eyes fiery, her gaze even more so.

"Mara, my dearest, sweetheart, my lo- ...-".

"Spare me the flattery please and get to the point", she snapped.

"Alright, I will do that... but can't you come down? I am not comfortable talking to you like this" and it wasn't. His neck was already sore from looking up; however, she shook her head.

"Fine then. Fine" he said before taking a deep breath...

"The matter you wanted to speak to me about... Is it about you being with child? " he asked her, indeed coming straight to the point, to her chagrin though. Her face contorted into surprise, and he knew it was true and started to smile.

"But that's great! That is bloody fantastic! Darling, I'm so happy. So glad," he smiled.

And she melted. Melted like ice on a hot summer day; it became harder to keep her resolve. Harder not to run down and fly into his arms but once again her pride told her otherwise.

"This doesn't change anything" she said insensitively, though of course it did change everything.

"I beg your pardon" he frowned; genuinely confused.

"I said this doesn't change anything... We're going to get divorced anyway... " she added and he let out a frustrated, strangled cry.

"But Mara, I don't want to get divorced from you! I want us to stay together".

"Well, I don't need your pity; you have to stay together with me just because we are having a child".

"What? That is a preposterous thing to say, really it is" he asked whereupon she glared at him and almost wanted to run away.

"Sorry, sorry... I didn't mean it like that. Listen. Please.. I will tell you why I, foolishly might I add, started the divorce proceedings." and then he took a short pause before continuing.

"I had my detective track you down and he told me you were in Cornwall... His eyes flitted down as if he felt uncomfortable suddenly and so he felt because he had to tell the truth now.

"He also told me that Henry had visited you twice" he said measuredly.

"And then maybe I drew a conclusion I shouldn't have," he stated uneasily.

Oh. So that's why Mara thought. That's why the sudden change of mind and the realisation made her angry. Apparently, he didn't have much faith in her, or did he?

"You thought I was getting back together with Henry?" she asked; not hiding the frustration nor the emergence of anger in her voice.

"No, no of course not... Well, I presumed you might have invited him or something. It was weird that he knew where you were and I... didn't" he said defeated and then it dawned on her. She had hurt him; she should never have left without letting him know where she was, and he had apparently concluded that she had shared her location with Henry.

"Henry's aunt lives in Cornwall as does my friend Lily. It was not difficult for him to find out my whereabouts I'm afraid" she said coolly.

"As for not telling you where I was... I should not have done so, and I apologise for keeping you in suspense". He nodded, biting his lip and then the two were silent for a little while until he broke the quietness.

"Did... did he make you an offer to marry him if you and I broke up?" he wanted to know when he spoke next.

She wasn't sure if she should tell him the truth or not, but she supposed it would be a relief to do say so she went ahead with it.

"He did" and instantly she saw him become extremely irritated.

"And?"

"And what?" she asked, playing dumb on purpose.

"What was your answer?"

"No".

A small smile played on Anthony's lips; just for a moment before he continued with his 'questioning'.

"Why? Why did you say no?" and he desperately wished to know this.

She swallowed a the suddenly rising lump in her throat, but it stuck in her throat; firmly.

"That doesn't matter, does it? Not anymore".

"Oh yes it does to me it does" he replied a tad annoyed.

She shrugged as if the matter really wasn't important when of course it was.

"So, you're not going to tell me the answer" he sighed.

"I have told you everything as far as I know. The most important bits, at least" she retorted, trying to be nonchalant once more.

"Alright so... now what?" he asked her.

"What do you mean?" she retorted in an even tone.

"Will you please stop this? You and I know you're not dumb so stop acting like it!" he snapped. Even though he was right, it would have been better if he had held back, as his reaction only caused her to get angry.

She looked at him in an annoyed manner and then did the same as he did, saying something she shouldn't have said.

"I am not doing anything. This conversation is going nowhere and is pointless. And all we do is argue so it seems. I am actually beginning to think that maybe I should have said yes to Henry's offer, maybe that would have been better" she said to hurt him and succeeded.

"Excuse me, what did you say just now? " Anthony asked with a venomous tone; tilted his head to her as if he hadn't heard what she just uttered.

"You heard me" she retorted bravely although Mara had only regretted saying the words out loud.

"Oh, I am sure I did. My ears work properly but I am giving you opportunity to take back your words and rephrase your sentences" he hissed. "Because you just said was outrageous and inappropriate" he claimed.

He had a point; she had to admit to her chagrin. Stubborn or not; it was inappropriate what she had just said, and she had to apologise for it.

"Sorry... It was an ill worded thing to mention" she said in a pinched voice. He sighed deeply and looked at her wearily and at that moment she suddenly felt tired too, very tired.

"I am sorry too, dearest" he softly changed, making a complete turnaround in behaviour.

"Mara... I should have never-."

"What is going on here?" she heard her father say who looked surprised at Anthony and then upstairs where his daughter was standing.

"Ooh. What is that smell?" William remarked.

"It's me... Mr. Kensington. I was unfortunately drenched with the contents of a bucket filled with dishwater".

"Mop water, actually" corrected Mara from where she was standing at the balcony.

"I think that's much worse" Anthony grimaced and to his annoyance his wife started giggling.

"Don't laugh, that's not funny, not funny at all" but he had to suppress a chuckle himself with difficulty because her laugh was so infectious.

"Right. Whatever it is... I suggest you go home and have a bath and then come back and talk to each other.. inside".

"But, father-" Mara wanted to protest because having the conversation at this distance from him was fine somewhere; until she saw her father's icy gaze.

"It is better if you talk to each other indoors without the whole neighbourhood listening in. Anthony: Mara will see you later in the drawing room". William intended to go inside until his eye fell on the shabby state of the door. It didn't take him long to work out who the culprit had been, so he turned to his son-in-law with a firm look.

"I... I'll pay for a new one" Anthony said quickly.

"You better" William said before he left.

Anthony looked at the balcony where Mara stood and the two exchanged glances; which ranged from uncertain to regretful to hopeful; a mix of everything and anything with each other.

"I'll be right back. See you in a bit" he said and was gone.