Chapter 7
In the Progression of Time
December 12, 1996
Snape is really OCC in this chapter, but he is supposed to be.
'Guard your secret well…'
That statement had run through Harry's head time and again. The simple fact that Malfoy had been the one to make it… would wonders never cease.
It was the first day of the break and Harry was thankful that he would finally have some time to rest and spend with his children. Things had begun to work out a little better and the last month and a half had gone fairly smoothly. There had been word of a few mild inquires from Lucius Malfoy but nothing to be troubled over. Malfoy the younger had been the same as always and made no movement that point toward betrayal. Ron and Hermione had been sworn to secrecy and had thus far kept their word and their distance.
Harry was still not happy about his friends snooping and was still determined to keep them away from his children.
Severus was a different matter altogether. As the days of fall faded into winter Harry found himself in the almost constant company of the dark potions master when not in class or at meals. The twos ever developing relationship had steadily grown deeper. For Harry it was now extremely hard to imagine his day without Severus as part of it.
With that one exception no one came near Harry's children unless it was absolutely necessary. Poppy was the only other guest that Harry tolerated and only because she looked after Harry, Shay, and Rose's health.
At almost three months old the twins where slowly starting to settle down. They were sleeping a little longer in the night and starting to reach for things. Harry also refused to believe that the little smiles his son had started to bestow upon Severus were gas as Poppy insisted.
'How did I ever live without them in my life?' Harry wondered as he fed his daughter. He looked up at his son and friend. 'All three of them,' he added as he watched Severus changing Shay and blowing bubbles on the baby's stomach.
Harry looked back to his daughter when he felt her stop sucking. Her little mouth was still twitching as if sucking, but she was fast asleep. He set the bottle down and gently lifted her to his shoulder so that she could burp. He rubbed her back until her tiny body tensed and a quite belch was heard. Harry kept rubbing her back and she didn't wake.
'Strange life that I lead, that something I have longed for so long shows up like this.' He began humming under his breath. It was an old lullaby that he didn't know the words to. 'These precious people that are my family, they are really my family. I have a family… So strange… I never thought I would have a family. I have been alone so long. The Dursleys hate me. The Weasley's are nice, and they care about me, but they aren't really my family. These children are mine though. They are my flesh and blood. To think that I could love someone so much, these two…' He glanced up at Snape who was now feeding a very happy Shay, '… make that three people. They are my family.
'How did Severus come to mean so much in my life? One day he was just there, and he seemed so… different. Is this the real Snape? Is this the man he would have been if he had not experienced so much tragedy? What happened to him that he hid this part of himself? When did I start to lo… care about him?'
"Harry, is something wrong?"
Harry stopped his absent-minded humming, blinked twice, and realized that he had been staring. "No. I was just lost in thought."
Severus looked a little worried. "Are you sure?"
'Who is this man?' Harry let a soft, thoughtful smile cross his face. "I'm fine. Really, I was just thinking."
Severus chuckled quietly, "Did it hurt?"
Harry opened his mouth to respond, but then it hit him what the man had said. "Oie! Is that any way to speak to the mother of your children?"
As soon as the words where out of his mouth Harry blushed bright red. 'Is that really how I think of him?' The answer was obvious. At least part of him thought that or he would not have said it.
Severus looked a little taken aback. "My… what did you say?"
The blush on Harry's face faded and his contemplative look returned. "I could think of no better man to be their father. You have been there for me and for them." Another thought struck Harry. 'What if he doesn't want that?' Harry bit his lip. "I didn't mean to offend…"
Severus cut him off, "That you would even conceder… I am more than honored."
Harry's worry faded as quickly as it had come. His thought drifted back and this time he didn't stop the thought when it tried to come. 'When did I start to love him?'
XXX
December 25, 1996The twins where happily asleep, surrounded by the numerous gifts that Harry and Severus had purchased for them. There were also a few from Ron, Hermione, Albus, Minerva, Poppy, and surprisingly Draco. Severus had made sure to check this last one out very carefully, but it was safe.
The day had been an eventful one. With the exception of attending lunch with the staff and six or so students who had stayed, Harry and Severus had not left the room. Severus had stayed the night in Harry's spare room, and they had both been woken rather early by the cries of their children. Harry had been excited. After changing and feeding the twins the young man had fastidiously ignored his own gifts in favor of 'helping' the twins open theirs.
Severus had never seen anything so wonderful or beautiful as the smile on Harry's face as he showed his children each of their gifts. It was likely impossible for any man to love his children more than Harry Potter loved his. It caused a longing in Severus' heart. It was true that Harry had declared Severus the twins' father, but some part of him wanted that to be true. He wanted to be their father and not just called such. Too he wanted to be part of Harry. The last three months in almost constant company with the Gryffindor had brought about feelings that Severus never expected.
He loved Harry. He loved him as a man, and he wanted him. He wanted Harry so badly that it hurt. That more than anything surprised him.
Currently they were sitting, rather close together, on the couch in front of Harry's fire. Severus was enjoying a glass of wine and Harry a cup of eggnog. They were content to just be in each other's company. In the distance a clock stuck the midnight hour and then a sweet voice filled the room.
"Silent night, holy night,
All is clam, all is bright,
Round young virgin, mother, and child
Holy infant, so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace."
Severus could only stare down at his companion. He had heard Harry humming on numerous occasions, but never actually heard him sing. "You have a beautiful voice, Harry. You should sing more often." Harry blushed and buried his face against his arm. "What was that song?"
Harry's embarrassment was forgotten at this last question, and he looked up. "I always forget that things are so different here. Wizards celebrate Christmas, but the songs and traditions are a bit different." He sighed and unconsciously leaned against Severus. "It is called Silent Night. It is a muggle Christmas hymn about the night that Christ was born. There are a few more verses, but that is the first and best known."
Severus let his arm wrap around Harry, and he pulled the younger man closer. "Will you sing the rest of it for me?"
Harry blushed again, but his voice rang out soft and clear.
"Silent Night, Holy Night,
Shepard's quake, at the sight
Glory streams from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing 'Alleluia…
Christ the savior is born, Christ the Savior is born'
"Silent Night, Holy Night
Son of God, Loves pure light
Radiant beams, from thy holy face
With the dawn, of redeeming grace
Jesus lord at thy birth, Jesus lord at thy birth"
When he finished singing Harry felt a gentle kiss on top of his head. "Thank you, that was wonderful."
Harry sighed contentedly and snuggled in closer to Severus' side. "Happy Christmas." Harry blinked his eyes open at the statement and found a box in front of his face.
"What's this?"
"I thought that even you would recognize a gift when you saw one." Severus chuckled as Harry playfully smacked his arm. "Go on, take it."
Harry leaned away and bit his lip. "You really didn't have to."
Severus smiled at him. "I know."
Harry took the gift, but before he opened it, he leaned over and pulled another from under the couch. Severus raised an eyebrow as it was held out to him. "What, didn't think I had forgotten about you, did you?"
Severus took it and was a little surprised. By the shape and size, he had thought that it would be a book, but it was far too light, and it gave under his grip. He looked up and Harry's nervous face. "Please go first."
Severus blinked, but made no comment. He had figured out at this point that Harry got quite a bit more excited about giving than receiving. He carefully pulled the paper from the gift and slid the lid off of a plain white gift box. He shifted through a few layers of tissue paper and uncovered a black silk shirt. It was wonderful. As he pulled the shirt from the paper, he could see a delicate pattern stitched into the silk also in black, but the thread stood out just enough to be seen. "Thank you, Harry, it is beautiful. I cannot remember the last time someone got me something that wasn't potions related."
"I'm glad that you like it. I wasn't sure, but…" Severus cut off the rant of self-doubt by placing a finger over Harry's lips.
"It's perfect." Harry's eye's lit up and for Severus there was no better gift than that smile. "Your turn."
Harry reverently opened his own gift, but when the little wooden box inside the paper was opened, he looked up at Severus in confusion. "What…"
Severus took the box from Harry's hand and pulled out what was inside. He clasped the chain and silver pendent around Harry's neck. "This is my family crest. By giving you this I am formally declaring you a member of the family. That extends to you any of your decedents."
Harry had tears in his eyes. "I don't know what to say."
Severus reached out and brushed the tears from Harry's cheeks. "You don't have to say anything. You made me a part of your family when you named me Shay and Rose's father. I am returning the gesture."
Severus didn't know who had moved first, but rather suddenly two pairs of lips were touching. What started as chaste burned into something deeper. When Severus' tongue begged entry into Harry's mouth it was quickly granted. Minutes passed and the two couldn't seem to be close enough to each other.
After some time, air became the greater need and the two parted a bit reluctantly. Nothing was said as they looked at each other in the firelight. When Harry settled back down against Severus' side the older automatically pulled him closer. There were no words. None were needed. The next step had been taken and neither was confused about it. They couldn't know that the future held for them, but somehow, they knew they would face it together.
XXX
The title of this chapter is from a poem I wrote awhile back.
In the progression of time, I found myself searchingAs each day passed, I clung to the uncertain
I had no way of knowing what tomorrow would bring me
But as the light dawned on the future, I found you with me
You stole my sorrow and made my world whole
You broke my regrets and watched me move forward
You healed my wounds and saw me grow strong
You lit my way when I was lost before the dawn
I did not know I would end up in this place
I could not have seen the love on your face
I did not understand what you had given to me
But I found your love… somewhere in the progression of time
We all know I don't own Silent Night.
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