I don't own any of Stephanie meyer's wonderful characters or anything else within this incredible universe she's created.
Chapter 6: Edward's pov
The initial meeting went about as well as I had anticipated. I saw in Alice's mind as we approached that everyone except for Rosalie would accept Bella, but I didn't need Alice's visions to know that. I found it all so surreal, finally getting to share Bella with my family this way. Having them love and accept her only the way Alice and I had. She was truly a member of the family now, a Cullen. Isabella Cullen… it was like music to my ears. Perhaps someday I could make that official. I wanted to shout for joy at the thought! The fact that she beat Emmett in an arm wrestling match was just icing on the cake!
"You'll need to tell her, you know."
Jasper interrupted my reverie. He was thinking about the gruesome scene that was discovered this morning on an empty highway in Portland, thinking of the two phone calls made shortly thereafter. One call was made to Jacksonville Florida, the other to Forks.
"I know," I breathed.
I didn't want to do this, to break Bella's heart this way. It was all so cruel, she deserves so much better. Jasper, feeling my anguish, rested his hand on my shoulder.
"It has to be done, she deserves to grieve and move on."
His voice was calm and concise, but I could hear the empathy in his thoughts. I take a deep breath and start walking towards the house. I can hear Bella protest as my little sister poorly attempted a makeover from the second floor.
"Alice, really this is so unnecessary! Don't you have just jeans and a t- shirt I can wear?" Bella almost whines at Alice.
"Come now, Bella! Where's your sense of adventure?" Alice trills in her bell chime voice.
I can see in her mind that she is thinking through thousands of haute couture assemblies that she is dying to force Bella into. I chuckle to myself softly as I knock on the door to Alice and Jasper's room.
"Come in!" Alice called.
As I step into the room the sight before me makes me want to howl with laughter. Bella is standing in the middle of the room, still in just my button down looking absolutely bewildered. All around her feet are piles and piles of garments, strewn about the room, and still more fly out of Alice's closet at an inhuman speed. Alice is talking out loud, more to herself than anyone else, as she throws outfit upon outfit at Bella for her to try on.
"Help me" Bella mouths at me,
As though she is truly terrified. All this time around vampires, and this is what has her mortified. I roll my eyes at her playfully.
"Hey Alice, can I steal Bella away for a moment?" I call into the wardrobe of doom.
"I suppose if you must!"
Alice pops her head out and makes eye contact with Bella, who had managed to find a simple blush cotton maxi dress somewhere in the heaps of runway ready garments and slipped it on before I had had a chance to turn around.
"I'm not finished with you, missy!" Alice says while pointing a finger at Bella.
"Yes, ma'am." Bella replies as I grab her hand to drag her out of the room.
Bella giggles as I pull her up the stairs towards my bedroom. I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder and run the rest of the way, all the time she is laughing and protests,
"Edward, put me down!"
Once I kick the door open lightly I do as she commands. Bella looks stunned as she evaluates the room. It looks the same as before, with one small exception. A king size bed now stood in the very center of the room. It had black iron posts on each corner with iron ivy and roses climbing up each post. It had a golden satin canopy draped over the top and golden satin bedding covering the mattress. Esme had picked it out, it was part of her preparation for our return.
"A bed?" Bella asked a little breathlessly "why?"
"Esme thought it would be of use. Hoping to make you more comfortable I suppose."
I tried to keep my voice even as I thought of all the comforts this particular piece of furniture could bring. Bella smiles and flops back onto the bed lightly. She rests her hands on her chest, closes her eyes and sighs. She reminds me again of sleeping beauty, but this time instead of being filled with horror, I am filled with peace. I lay down beside her and stroke her face.
"Sooo…." Bella says a little too casually. "If this bed isn't for sleeping… then what's it for?"
Bella turns her head to look at me, her eyes are hooded and her lips are slightly pursed. I feel like hunger again, the want, the need for her. I lay my hand on her cheek, I lean in to kiss her. I meant the kiss to be soft, but just as before in the forest, my passion overcame me. I pulled her close to me, deepening our kiss. Her hands wrapped themselves in my hair, my hands pulled at her waist, pushing her body against my own. She sighed and her mouth opened and before I could stop myself my mouth opened with hers. My mind ran rampant, thinking of all the things we could do together in this very comfortable bed…
NO! I used all my strength to throw myself away from her. I need to pull myself together. Had my father taught me nothing? Not Carlisle, it was my first father I thought of now. Though my human memories were dim I remember his careful lecture well. It was just after my 17th birthday. We sat on the front porch of our home, drinking iced tea. My father spoke to me solemnly, he talked of young ladies and courting, and most of all virtue. He told me it was a man's responsibility to protect the virtue of the young lady he courts. A real man respects a lady's wishes, and a real man would never force himself on a lady. A real man has integrity and patience, he can subdue his physical desires until he is wed. Of course then I had no interest in courting and my only goal was to join the war efforts, but still a small part of me heeded his words. I had great respect for my father, and I appreciated the love he and my mother shared. Was I going to squander all of that now just because I lacked a little patience? No Bella's virtue was worth more than that, her soul was worth more than that.
Now that I finally accepted Carlisle's version of eternity; surely our kind must have souls, or at least the possibility of maintaining our existing souls after we change. Bella is as innocent and blameless now as before her change, she must have a soul. I'm still not convinced I have retained my own soul, murderer that I am. Carlisle and Bella though… they must have earned some peace.
"Ahem," Bella cleared her throat, attempting to regain my attention.
She looked at me pointedly as she appraised my rigid posture. I attempted to relax and spoke before she could question my rash actions.
"Bella, I need to speak with you about something very important."
Ughh, what an awkward way to begin. I had positively no idea what I was doing, after all it's not every day you have to explain to the love of your life that you faked her death and now her entire family is grieving.
"Okay?" Bella said skeptically.
"Why don't you come sit with me?" I sigh.
Bella moves cautiously off the bed at the same time as I slide down to sit on the love seat near the wall of windows. She sits next to me and folds her hands carefully in her lap. She catches her bottom lip between her teeth and begins to chew on it absentmindedly, her old habit still alive and well.
"Bella…" I begin
"What is it, Edward? You're starting to freak me out!" Her voice attempts at sounding playful but I can hear the worry seeping through.
"Now that you're one of us… your old life is gone… you can't be that person anymore."
"Well, obviously! What are you getting at?" Bella laughs nervously.
This will be harder than I thought.
"Bella, your change happened so suddenly, there was no time to plan. We didn't have preparations in place. We couldn't create an excuse, a ruse, a reason for your disappearance."
I was babbling now but I can't stop, I need to get it out before I lose my nerve. Bella's eyes were full of suspicious curiosity.
"Your parents need to grieve Bella, we had to give them the opportunity to grieve…"
As the words resonate around us, Bella's eyes fly open. The understanding dawns on her face and she gasps in horror.
"No…no, no, No, NO!!!" Bella screams.
She runs out of the room disoriented. She threw the door out of her way with such force it flew off the hinges. My heart broke as she screamed.
Bella's POV
"No! Why?! No, please, no!"
I scream, aware that I'm probably barely coherent. I don't care! Images of Renee and Charlie run through my mind. I fixate on their faces, willing my memory to not fade, begging my mind to hold them within forever.
"Bella! Darling, I'm so sorry! I know how this must be for you!"
Edward ran after me. I hadn't even realized where I was going. I made it into the yard, but before I could make it to the drive I was met by the rest of Edward's family.
"Bella, you have to stay here. We can't let you see him."
Alice reached for me as she spoke, but I flinched and she dropped her hand. She must have seen as soon as I decided, though I hadn't even really registered the thought, that I needed to see Charlie.
"I know this is hard, but you must know, your father will be better off having the closure."
Esme looked at me with kind eyes as she spoke. I remembered when she told me about her human life, about her son, and I realized she could empathize with Charlie more than anyone.
I take a deep, steadying breath.
"What did you tell him?"
I look back to Edward as I ask, but he lowers his eyes in shame.
"We faked a car accident." Alice is the one to reply.
"My truck…" the conversation I overheard during my transition suddenly made sense.
"Yeah, about that, we kinda trashed it… but it was a piece of junk anyway! We can get you a new one! Something fast!"
Emmett meant well I'm sure, but it didn't change what happened. And as sad as I am about the truck it was just a thing, a symbol of my human life. My family on the other hand…
"Can someone please just tell me what you've done?!" I roar.
I knew it wasn't their fault, but I wanted to scream! I hurt for my family. For the suffering I knew this would cause them. Jasper took one cautious step forward, positioning himself slightly between me and Alice.
"I'm sorry. I know whatever happened is for the best. Please just tell me?"
I tried to use a calm, soothing voice.
"We tried our best to execute a plan that was simple enough to be believed without an intense investigation, that wouldn't raise too much suspicion. However, we didn't want you to just disappear without a trace. We thought those close to you needed the closure. They needed the finality of your death Bella."
Carlisle spoke in a tone that was both firm and caring. He spoke like a doctor giving grave and final news. I guess he must have experience doing that.
"Alice saw that a car accident was the best way to do this. She and Jasper separated from us in Phoenix, they went to your mother's house. They left her a note signed by you explaining that you ran away from Forks because you were scared, but ultimately wanted to go home and patch things up with your father. Alice and Jasper then came here to collect your truck and drove it to Portland on route North to Forks. They crashed it on an empty highway just outside the city."
I tried to stay calm as Carlisle spoke, using my breath to steady me, but it was futile.
"Alice and Jasper stayed on the scene to make sure your truck was properly identified. The Oregon State patrol found it at around 2 AM this morning."
Carlisle continued to speak but his voice sounded far away…
"Renee… Charlie…?"
Saying their names sounded like a plea for mercy on my lips.
"They were both called in shortly after to identify your vehicle, Charlie wanted to see you but they wouldn't let him at first… he ended up getting the Washington state police to turn over your body to them so that he could see you himself." Alice whispered the words, pushing past Jasper slightly to make eye contact with me.
"See me?!" I exclaim.
"There had to be a body inside the truck, Bella. You would have been considered a missing person if they hadn't found someone." Edward placed his hand on my hip to comfort me, or maybe to steady me? My mind was spinning, maybe my body was just as unstable.
"Who? How?" I gasp.
"A Jane Doe. She was found a few days ago in her apartment in Portland. The police suspect it was a break in gone awry, but they don't know much, her case went cold. She died from blunt force trauma to the head. We took her body from the Multnomah county morgue, it was supposed to be cremated today, but I forged the crematorium documents so no one will question her disappearance. When we staged the accident with your truck we started an engine fire. By the time first responders got on the scene your truck was completely engulfed. We stashed your driver's license in the glove compartment so it remained intact, but Jane Doe was unrecognizable. That's why the Oregon State patrol didn't want Charlie to see you, because he wouldn't have been able to identify your body anyway."
Alice had completely moved away from Jasper as she told the horrific tale. I sank to my knees as I absorbed the information. Poor Charlie I can't imagine what he thought when they finally let him see "me". Alice rushed to me and threw her arms around me. She held me as I wailed with tearless sobs. We sat like this for I don't know how long, then I pulled myself together. I stood up and brushed the grass off my dress.
"So, what happens next?" I sigh
"Renee and Charlie are holding a funeral for you on Saturday at Forks Assembly of God Church. We will be attending." Carlisle said sympathetically.
"I'm coming too." I may not be able to actually comfort my parents, but I could at least be with them… from afar.
"Bella…" Edward said slowly, looking deep into my eyes. His face said it all, 'No. Impossible. Not a chance.'
"I. Am. Going." I said firmly. This was not his decision to make.
"I know you want to be there for them, love. But it wouldn't be safe."
"I wouldn't hurt them, Edward. I didn't hurt that hiker today, and I didn't even know him! How much more careful will I be with my own family!"
"Perhaps…" Edward started to say, but Jasper cut him off.
"You can't be serious, Ed! Maybe she does have some super control, maybe a gift I've never seen. But taking her to a church full of people days after a transition is insane!"
"What are you planning to do, Jasper? Tie me up and throw me in the dungeon?"
He raised one eyebrow at my challenge.
"I will protect my family from ruin."
Jasper threw his emotions at me just as he had his words. My mind was suddenly filled with his malice, intimidation, and arrogance. Again I focus on clearing my mind. He truly believed he could easily over power me. We'd have to see about that.
"This is my family too, Jasper. I would never intentionally put you in harm's way."
From across the yard Rosalie scoffed at me. I threw her a glare and she bared her teeth at me.
"Your very presence at the funeral will put us all in harm's way!" Again he forces his mental aggression on me and again I force it out of my mind.
"You. Aren't. Strong. Enough. You. Don't. Have. Enough. Control." He spoke harshly but his emotions were stronger, they were like punches to the gut.
"Jasper! Enough!" Edward spat at him. I wondered if he could feel Jasper's emotions or if they were only for me.
"Get out of my head." I glared into Jasper's eyes, to make sure he knew what I was referring to.
"What do you mean?" Jasper said mockingly, throwing more emotions at me all the while.
"I said, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!" I screamed at him at the top of my lungs and pushed his emotions away from me with all the mental strength I had.
Before I could even understand what was happening Jasper was flying backwards and landing in the drive on his ass.
"Holy crow!! Jasper I'm so sorry! I didn't mean too! I.. I didn't know…"
6 stone faces all around me, wide eyed, mouths gaping, shocked.
Then an eruption of laughter from Jasper, who is now sitting in a vampire sized crater in the driveway.
"Well I'll be," Jasper says still chuckling, "you're a feisty little thing aren't ya?"
Jasper stood up and dusted the crushed cement off his pants and shook the dust out of his shaggy blond hair.
"Ummm…" I wasn't sure how to respond. I was grateful Jasper was no longer feeling daggers at me, but I wasn't sure how to feel about his sudden shift in mood.
"Bella! You're a shield!" Alice chimed excitedly.
"A what?" I looked to Edward for clarification.
"A shield. It's a very rare gift and honestly I've never seen a shield manifest itself the way yours does. It explains why I couldn't read your mind when you were human." As he spoke he stroked my cheek so tenderly I wished we could disappear together.
"I don't know that I've seen a shield have the ability to push their shield off themselves in that way, almost telepathy." Carlisle spoke with a hint of curiosity.
"She's special. Whoop dee do!" Rosalie berated sarcastically.
"What the hell is your problem?!"
I was beyond over Rosalie and all her little comments. If she wants to play this game, I can play it too.
"You, little mouse, are my problem!"
I am so done with all her little snide remarks.
"Honestly Rosalie, I have never said a damn thing to you! What could I possibly have done to anger the little princess so much?" I matched her seething tone.
"Ladies, let's simmer down." Esme spoke in a calming tone.
"NO! You had everything and you threw it away! You wasted your mortality on your would be murder! You know that right?! That Edward wanted to kill you?! You could have walked away, or stumbled away more like! You could have had a life! You treated your humanity like rubbish, trash, just like you!"
Rosalie screamed, but she didn't sound mad. She sounded like she wanted to cry.
"Rosalie. You can insult me all you want. You can call me names and you can tell me that I wasted my life. But what I need you to realize Is that even if I didn't choose this now, I would've chosen it someday. I'm sure your life was lovely Rosalie, I'm sure that you had everything you ever wanted. I understand that you did not choose this life, but I would choose this life over and over and over again."
"My life was perfect! Unlike your empty little existence."
"My life was not empty, but I didn't… belong in it. I belong here Rosalie. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but I think it would be to your benefit if you accepted this, because I'm not going anywhere."