I don't own any of Stephanie meyer's wonderful characters or anything else within this incredible universe she's created.

TW: talk of suicide

Chapter 7: Edward's POV

The sun rose on Saturday morning despite my pleading with it to stay put for just a bit longer. I was playing Bella's lullaby on the piano in the main living room. Bella was curled up in a chair on the opposite side of the room with a book, surprise surprise. We had sat together like this in companionable silence all night. I was proud of her for standing her ground with Rose, but I was also a little cross with her. She would not tell me what she had meant before when she was talking to Jasper. She screamed at him to "get out of her head". I needed to understand why she had said that. I knew Jasper was upset, but I hadn't felt him exuding any particularly harsh feelings. Then again, I didn't know he had the ability to camouflage himself until last week, perhaps his gift was much more far reaching than we were aware of. This thought made me grind my teeth, why would he hide aspects of his gift from us? And how was he using that gift on Bella? I look up towards Bella to ask the question when, I'm forced to stop in my tracks. The misery in Bella's eyes caught me off guard. I run to her and take both of her hands in my own.

"Bella, love, what's wrong?" Concern seeping through each word.

"I'm okay Edward, I'll be okay." Bella said in a very unconvincing, shaky voice.

"Please, tell me?" I use my most persuasive tone.

"Well.." Bella stops short and starts chewing on her bottom lip again.

"Yes…?" I prompt.

"I was just trying to make myself be okay with not being at the funeral today… and also trying to think of a way to sneak away from you and go anyway."

Bella keeps her eyes down as she speaks. How exasperating, doesn't she know it's my only window to her mind?

"Bella, you know why you can't go."

I try to keep my voice plain, but even I hear the edge of wariness.

"And you know why I have to go." Bella says curtly.

I'd better gear up, Bella is getting ready to debate. It's hard enough not giving her everything she wants as it is!

"Edward, let's think this through. You need to attend the funeral, everyone will ask questions if you aren't there. You could leave me here alone… but then I would just sneak into the church by myself and that has an endless recipe for disaster. So the way I see it, our only option is for you to take me to the funeral yourself."

Of course this is what she was thinking. I should have expected it. And even worse she had a point! I of all people should be at the funeral.

"Bella…" I started to say but she cut me off before I could continue.

"Listen, as soon as we decide Alice will see, and if that future ends badly she'll tell us! Then you can take me somewhere else! I just can't be here, right down the road from my parents and not see them… one last time."

Again an excellent point that I hadn't thought of, I wonder if Alice has already seen. I flip open my phone and text her a simple question mark. 30 seconds later I receive a text from Alice.

"She will be fine. Take her hunting first."

Well I guess that settles it.

"Come on you little monster, let's get you fed before I take you to a church full of innocent people."

"Really! Yay!" Bella crowed

I roll my eyes, this girl could convince me the sky was red if she wanted to. We went upstairs and dressed in funeral attire. I wore a full black suit that Alice had provided me with years ago. Bella entered the room in a black flowing blouse with long sleeves and a high line, and a calf length black pencil shirt and black ballet flats. She looked ravishing. As I appraised her, she looked at me warily.

"How do I look? Ready to attend my own funeral?"

I chuckle lightly at her black joke.

"Yes, you look lovely. You are just missing one thing."

I pull out a pair of sunglasses. They belong to Alice, Prada I think. But they would do the job of covering up her eyes.

"You don't have to put them on until we get into town. I'll warn you as soon as we get close to anyone but you need to hold your breath the whole time we are around the humans. I will sneak you into the church and out of the church. Bella, I need you to promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"For the love of God, don't let anyone see you."

And with that we ran. We didn't have time to go far. We made it into the bogachiel state park, avoiding all trails and campsites. As we hunted we tracked down a pair of coyotes. As I get ready to pounce on the larger male bella grabs my arm to stop me.

"Wait!"

"What is it, my love?"

"How do you… stay clean? We are already dressed for the funeral and I think Alice might murder me if I ruin anything else designer."

Of course she would be worried about Alice, how like Bella. I chuckled softly to myself.

"The trick is you sneak up behind them and break their neck before you start feeding. It immobilizes them and it makes it much less of a fight. Emmett finds that incredibly boring, but then again he is a toddler so he loves to play with his food."

"Break the neck, got it."

And with that she knelt into her hunting crouch. She slunk forward so smoothly but I could barely see her head peeking over the tall brush. Then with no warning she grabbed one of the coyotes and broke its neck with one clean snap. The animal's body went limp and she began feeding. The other animal tried to run but I chased it down quickly and ate my own meal. When I returned to Bella's side she looked as pristine as she did before the hunt. I would never expect for someone to be a natural at being a vampire, but Bella made immortality look easy.

"Do you need more?" I ask.

"No, I'm good. We should get going."

"Okay, my darling."

Luckily, Forks Assembly of God backed up into a large wooded acreage. We could run the whole way and not be seen. When we got to the edge of the property we noticed a few cars in the lot. Some people were chatting outside the church, some walking in, looking to the sky to see the rain clouds that would soon start to drizzle. Carlisle's Mercedes is parked towards the front, I could hear the thoughts of my family crowded in the tight car. I quickly picked out Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper and Emmett. No Rosalie.

I wanted to grind my teeth together until they turned to dust. Rosalie was the one who is so obsessed with making sure we did this the correctly, keeping up our pretenses and looking normal. Did she truly not think that she would stick out like a sore thumb not being in attendance for this funeral? My patience with her was no longer wearing thin but completely gone.

"How do we do this?" Bella asked, peering around my shoulder from behind my back. She had her sunglasses on and her hair pushed forward covering most of her face. Between that, her ghastly pale skin and the subtle changes to her facial features I doubt anyone would even recognize her if they caught a glimpse of her. But we don't need to test that theory.

"We are going to scale the side of the church and sneak through a window. There is a small balcony above the sanctuary that is used for storage, you're going to hide there, lay low and hold your breath."

As I speak, I hear Bella take in one deep breath, then lock her lips together. We begin up the backside of the church and sneak into the window easily. Bella lays on her stomach facing toward the pulpit looking through the narrow bars of the balcony. I look at her tight eyes as she takes in the large bouquet of flowers presented under a large printed canvas of her junior year picture. Her eyes sweep the stage and settle on the large shiny mahogany casket in the center. It is nailed shut.

"You can do this my love. If you need to leave, don't be afraid to do so. I will meet you in our meadow after this is over. I love you."

I whisper the words so softly in her ear and even if anyone were right next to us they would not have been able to hear. I exit back to the same window and walk to the front of the church. I am shocked to hear Rosalie's mental voice a half mile away. She's driving 20 miles over the speed limit in her M3. Even now as she's approaching the church her mind is flipping through the decision to stay or go, to turn onto the street or to go straight and drive and drive until the road ends. But even behind those thoughts I can hear remorse in her mind. I know that she loves me, I'm her brother and she never wanted to hurt me. And she doesn't want to hate Bella. In truth I don't think she really does anymore, for what's done is done. Bella is one of us now and Rose is not going to get rid of her anytime soon. I think Rosalie has finally accepted that Bella is a part of our family. She will warm up to her just as she had myself, Jasper and Alice. It may take the better part of a decade but it will happen. I decide now that if Rosalie can let go of her grudge against Bella then I need to let go of mine against her. I walk over to Carlisle's Mercedes just as Rosalie is pulling into the parking lot. My family exits the vehicle and starts toward the church. Emmett stops for a moment to pat my shoulder.

"See, brother? I told you she would come around." Emmett thinks towards me.

I sigh. Emmett always has too much faith in Rosalie. I stand by the Mercedes as Rosalie gets out of her car and slams the door. She looks at me with narrow eyes.

"I'm not doing this for you, you know."

Rosalie's mental voice was full of indignation. But behind that I could also hear her sympathy towards me. And even stranger, sympathy towards Bella. I saw a quick flash of a memory that I'm sure she was trying to hide. A large Catholic Church filled to the brim with white roses, A large glimmering white casket with gold detail, in the center of the large gaudy stage. Rosalie, against Carlisle's will, had also attended her own funeral. Rosalie's parents had decided to hold a funeral for her after they had declared her dead, five years after her disappearance. Rosalie had already executed all of her rapists and murders, but it had not brought her the peace she was hoping for. She thought that attending her funeral would finally bring her closure. It did not. She did not receive any of the closure she was seeking until after she met Emmett, and even then she still desperately clung to her human life with cold, hard fingers.

"I know." I reply to her under my breath.

I held my elbow out to her and she obliged. We walked together, arm in arm into the church. We easily found our seats, filing into the same pew as our siblings. I look around and find Carlisle and Esme talking with Charlie and Renee.

"We are so deeply sorry for your loss." Carlisle spoke in his doctorly voice.

"Bella was such a lovely girl, Our family will miss her greatly!" Esme added in a sorrowful tone. "I'm Esme Cullen by the way, this is my Husband, Carlisle."

Esme reached her satin gloved hand out to Renee. Renee took it lightly. Although she seemed to be keeping it together on the outside, her mind was screaming with anguish.

"Cullen… so you must be.." Renee spoke slowly.

"Yes, we are Edward's parents. He is just devastated. He hasn't eaten or slept since he heard the news."

Emmett snickered under his breath and Alice jabbed his side with her elbow.

"Carlisle is a doctor. He treated Bella when she got in that car accident earlier in the year."

Charlie spoke in an emotionless voice toward Renee. His mind was just as cold and dark as his voice. I worried suddenly that he might be considered the same end I had planned for myself had Bella not made it. He would have a much easier ordeal than I would've of course. I look to Alice ready to ask the question, but before I could she makes eye contact with me and thinks,

"I'm watching, but he hasn't decided yet. He's waiting for something, but I can't tell what."

"Carlisle, I wondered if I could speak with you?" Charlie's voice came out in a gruff bark.

"Of course, Charlie." Carlisle held his arm out leading Charlie to a small corridor just outside the sanctuary.

"How can I be of service?" Carlisle spoke in hushed tones.

"I want you to look into the autopsy. I just don't understand. They claim it was blunt force trauma. It feels fishy." Charlie spoke in a rush. A mixture of anger, confusion and despair seeping through his voice.

"Charlie…" Carlisle started, but Charlie cut him off.

"PLEASE CARLISLE! What if it was your kid? You boy came home! And my daughter is in a box!" Charlie was gasping for breath, almost sobbing on the last word.

"Of course, Charlie. I'm so sorry, I'll review the autopsy and let you know."

Charlie sighed. "Did your boy tell you what happened? Bells… she left a note for Renee… she was coming home to me… she said she needed me, said I needed her.. haha, she had that part right at least." Charlie chuckled but I could see through Carlisle's eyes that Charlie had tears streaming down his face.

"Of course she needed you Charlie, you will always be her father." Carlisle rested his hand on Charlie's shoulder. Charlie bursted into sobs then.

My chest aches as I thought of Bella on the balcony. She could hear that conversation just as well as I could. My heart broke for her. Today is going to be a very long day.

Bella's POV

I knew being here would break my heart, I expected it. But hearing Charlie break down… that I wasn't prepared for. I knew he loved me but he's never been very emotional, I guess I'm like him in that way. Pastor Webber led the service. He spoke of inherent goodness and finding peace in the face of tragedy. I don't know if I bought into everything he said, but if it brought Charlie and Renee even a little bit of comfort I was grateful. Half way through the service Renee got up and ran from the room covering her mouth. It was jarring, I so desperately wanted to chase after her, to grab her and hold her as she cried. I found myself locking my muscles in place to prevent this. Alice must have foreseen my struggle, she got up and ran after Renee. They ran out of the sanctuary and down the hall. Their soft carpeted footsteps turned hard as they rushed onto the tiled floor leading to the bathroom. Then I heard gagging and the slosh of vomit hitting the toilet bowl, a quick flush, then the running water of the faucet.

"Renee? Are you okay? It's Alice. Can I come in?" Alice was softly tapping on the bathroom door.

"Yes, I'm fine!" Renee called in a still queasy voice.

I heard the door creak and Alice's soft footsteps as she entered the bathroom.

"Alice… Alice Cullen?" Renee spoke in confusion.

"That's me!" Alice announced a chipper tone.

"Your Edward's sister, Bella's… boyfriend?"

"Yes, I am, was, also a dear friend of Bella's. I don't know if she would call me her best friend but we were certainly getting there."

"She didn't mention you… she barely mentioned Edward… or maybe she did and I just wasn't listening. Too distracted I guess. That makes me a horrible mother, doesn't it?"

"No! I'm sure being on the road has been stressful! And settling in a new place is a lot! Do you like it in Florida?"

Alice was being so kind. Trying to preoccupy Renee's mind, that wouldn't be difficult; she was easily distracted.

"Oh Alice, it's beautiful! And Bella will.. would have loved it! She…"

Renee's sentence cut off and I heard the clacking of her shoes against the tile then more vomiting. The toilet flushed and the faucet ran again.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Alice, this morning sickness is kicking my ass."

"Morning sickness… Renee are you…?"

"Pregnant? Yes, 10 weeks. I wanted to tell Bella in person, that's why I waited so long. That's another heartbreak, Bella will never meet her brother."

"Brother?" Alice breathed in disbelief.

"Yeah, a little boy! Our OB/GYN recommended that we do genetic testing considering that I am of 'advanced maternal age' that's how we found out early," Renee let out a snort of annoyance. "Advanced maternal age my butt! I'm only 36! Makes me sound like a geriatric patient!"

"Congratulations Renee! That's wonderful! Bella would be so happy for you!"

"I know! And she would have been the best big sister, so helpful! I was going to have her move home! She's always been the responsible one of the family, haha! It's been so long since I've had a baby at home… I know she would have… just loved Mickey! Mickey as in Mickey Mantle, he's Phil's favorite player, so we're naming the baby after him."

"Phil is a Yankees fan, huh?"

"Oh yes, a die hard fan!"

"I know Bella would have loved to meet her brother." Alice sounded sympathetic

"Yes well… I like to think that she'll be looking down on me from heaven. Maybe she'll be her brother's guardian angel."

"I know she will be Renee. Are you ready to head back in?"

"Yes, let's go."

Mom is pregnant? I never would have ever thought that she would want to do the mom thing again. I wonder if this pregnancy was as much of a surprise to her as her pregnancy with me was. Maybe she would get it right this time around though. She was only 18 when she got pregnant with me. She decided to take a gap year, much to my grandmother's dismay, between high school and college. She wanted to go on adventures. She lived in a van and drove up the West Coast, true hippie style. She had only been in Washington a few days when she met Charlie. She saw him from across the beach and fell head over heels, or so she claims. She told me once that he had been her anchor and she had been his sails. They were inseparable for one long summer and then in the fall she found out that I had hitched a ride on their little bandwagon. It was Charlie that wanted to get married, he was ready to settle down. But Renee was… Renee. The marriage didn't even last a year before she bolted. And here she is now ready to do it all over again, or apparently expecting me to do it all over again for her. I wanted to be surprised that she would expect me to leave Charlie and my friends and my new school to help her raise my baby brother, but I couldn't find it in myself to be. She was right after all, I always had been the responsible one. And although I could never resent her, and I would always love her, there was a part of me now that was grateful that she couldn't expect me to raise this baby for her. I was never really into the whole kid thing. Even if I had lived out my mortal life I don't think I would've ever had any of my own. I'd already had to raise myself and Renee. I don't think I would want to repeat from scratch with another little person.

Just as Alice helped Renee find her seat next to Phil, Pastor Webber called

"Is there anyone who would like to say a few words about Isabella?"

"I would!" A small voice from the far right front pew called.

Angela stood up and walked up the maroon carpeted steps towards the pulpit. She was looking down at notecards that she had clutched between shaky hands.

"Eh-hem, my name is Angela Webber. I went to school with Bella. We were friends, really good friends actually. Even though Bella was new to forks this year, her reputation preceded her. The whole town was buzzing, so excited for Chiefs Swan's daughter to come home. We all were so excited to meet Bella, but we never could have expected what she would bring into our lives. Bella was a good person, she was a good friend, a good student, a good daughter. But she was so much more than that. She was kind, she took the time to make sure the people around her were happy and well. She was an amazing listener, she actually heard her friend's problems and concerns and tried to fix them, or at the very least comfort those in need. She was so smart, not just in school but in life! And Bella was brave, she took on the world with courage, even if she was tripping over her feet the whole way! I will miss her so much, Forks High will be a darker place without her."

I was so touched by Angela's words. I never realized how much of an impact I had on her. I would miss her, more than I really realized. Before I could ponder this further, Jessica stood up and started walking up the stairs.

"Hi everyone, I'm Jessica. I also got the privilege of knowing Bella this year. Angela said it all, Bella was a great friend, and one of the most genuine people I've ever met. It's easy to get caught up in the competition of high school, who's the smartest, who's the prettiest, who do the boys like the best? But with Bella there was no competition, because she didn't care. She wasn't worried about that stuff, she just wanted her friends and family to be taken care of. And honestly I wish I was more like that. So I propose something, I know a lot of the junior class is here today. I propose that we honor Bella's memory by being more like her. That we worry less about being the best and the smartest and the prettiest and worry more about being the kindest. I think the whole school would be better if we just treated each other like Bella treated us. We'll miss you Bella."

As Jessica Stanley walked off the stage, I was floored. Maybe it was just an elaborate scheme for attention, or maybe she meant it. Maybe she really did finally understand that I wasn't trying to compete with her and all I wanted to do is be her friend. It's just sad that it took me dying for her to realize it.

Edward stood up and I was both curious and horrified that he would bring attention to himself and the family this way. I didn't know what I could possibly do to stop him, barring jumping from the balcony and tackling him.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen. Over the last 6 months I've gotten to know Isabella Swan very well. We started out the year as lab partners, and we ended as so much more. Bella was profoundly caring, gentle, and selfless. The kind of person who would give anyone what they needed, even if it was to her own detriment. At first I was just curious about her, how could anyone be so clumsy and so full of grace at the same time? It wasn't long before I found myself in love with her. I think I'll always love her. So here's to you Bella. No amount of time with you would have ever been enough, so now I'll have forever."

Edward's eyes snapped to me so quickly at the end of his speech that all the humans would have perceived it as just blinking but I knew he was looking into my soul. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Jacob, who had snuck in with Billy at the beginning of the service, was now shaking visibly. Sweat was beating down his brow and his hands balled into tight fists. I could feel the heat radiating off his body, so much hotter than any other human in the room. Then he stood up and stormed out of the church, fury in his eyes. A few people in the row looked around concerned, but Billy just apologized and explained that Jacob it's just having a hard time and I wasn't feeling well. He rolled himself out of the church after Jacob. How odd?

The service came to an end and I snuck out the window before anyone else had the opportunity to leave the church. I ran halfway to the meadow before I tested the air, I noticed no human scent so I began breathing freely again. I ran, using my now perfect memory to retrace my steps to the meadow. I walked carefully to the middle of the field and sat down, resigned to wait however long it took to be reunited with Edward in our most perfect oasis.