Chapter Five: Higher

Date: June 26, 2021

Author's Note: First, I'd like to apologize for making you all wait so long after the last chapter. This chapter was hard to formulate because the last chapter went out with such a bang, lol. This story (and Bonnie), is filled with a lot of angst and juvenile activities, lol. It's about Bonnie navigating her way through life surrounded by toxicity. If anything triggers you, I'm sorry, it is not intentional. Bonnie is a victim in some aspects but she's a shit starter as well so keep that in mind before you completely take her side. :) I'd also like to say that Bonnie and Abby's relationship is loosely inspired by my mother and sister's relationship and while at times it would seem that they downright hate each other, they also love each other. (My mom and sister are okay now, by the way lol.)

That said, thanks for reading, here's more.

"This whiskey's got me feeling pretty. So pardon if I'm impolite…"

-X-

Prudence made it to the bottom of the steps just as the front door slammed shut. The deafening silence left everyone quiet as they all processed what occurred. Other than the staff, the Bennetts and the Mikaelsons were the only souls left. Family drama was usually a nice indicator that the party was over so in good faith Michael and Esther decided it was time to go. Bonnie's outburst had left a bad taste in their mouths but they knew first hand what it was like to deal with a rebellious child. Niklaus tormented them for years before he finally mellowed out. Esther assured Abby of this but Abby wasn't too sure. In her mind, Bonnie was beyond redemption and it saddened her to think that way.

"I need a drink," Abby said, finally breaking the silence. Her heels clicked against the floor as she left to go drown her sorrows. Prudence turned to Elijah with an alarmed look in her eyes.

"Elijah. My sister will freeze out there!" The panic in her voice was palpable as she realized no one had made an effort to go after Bonnie. She swallowed the lump in her throat and fought against the urge to let Abby have it, but Prudence wasn't Bonnie. Her mother would destroy her before Prudence could even open her mouth.

"I'll see to it that she's safe," Elijah assured but was cut off by his brother returning from the living room, fully dressed in his overcoat.

"No worries brother. I'll handle this one. Stay. Comfort your fiancé." Niklaus didn't give either of them the chance to respond before he was out of the door.

-X-

The brutal wind kept Bonnie from focusing on her problems. Coming outside was a mistake but she was stubborn and would not back down. She would cut off her nose to spite her face if it meant getting the last word. She was barely out of her driveway when the front door open and closed. She could barely make out her name over the sound of the wind slapping against her ears. As the footsteps neared, Bonnie quickened her pace, hoping that whoever it was would give up and turn back, but she could only be so lucky.

The wind settled briefly and the air around her became quieter. There was still daylight, but the approaching snow clouds darkened everything for miles around. As the footsteps encroached upon her, she took a deep breath and turned on her heels to give whoever dared to come after her a piece of her mind. However, her words died on her lips when she saw that it was Niklaus. Narrowing her gaze, she immediately became defensive.

"What are you still doing here," she frowned. During her altercation with Abby, she blacked out, completely forgetting that there were still guests at the party; not that she minded at the time. Her cheeks flushed hot when she realized he probably heard the entire exchange. She was sure by now that his perception of her was more than likely tainted—not that she cared.

"I couldn't dare leave. Not before I find the last guest on my list." Bonnie rolled her eyes at the thought of the god-awful game she was forced to endure earlier.

"Which guest is that," she asked. She kicked herself for playing along with his games.

"The one that boldly stands up for herself even when she's demonized for it." He extends his gloved hand and without hesitation, she places her freezing hand in his. "Follow me," he instructs as he pulls her away.

She follows without protest.

-X-

Inside of his car is warm and quiet but her thoughts are loud. Bonnie closes her eyes and exhales the weight of her shoulders into a deep sigh. In terms of royal fuck ups, this one had to be at least an eight and a half. She began to hyperventilate each time she thought about facing her parents and Prudence again.

"Your family is going to realize what a fuck up I am and cut all ties with us," Bonnie murmured after a deafening silence that lasted twenty minutes. Klaus, for all his decency, sat quietly with her, adjusting the heat temperatures on the dashboard to make her comfortable.

"Better they know now than be surprised later," he said with an almost bored tone. "You all have yet to see some of the skeletons in our cupboards." Bonnie smiled faintly as she watched him fiddle with the controls. The car fell silent again; it was Klaus that spoke up this time.

"What I can't understand is," he paused briefly to glance at her. "You insist that you don't care what people think of you and yet, the slightest thing people say to you sets you off, why is that?" It was a simple question but it felt like ice-cold water to the face. It was a question she often asked herself but wasn't comfortable answering.

"It's the principle, I guess," she lazily offered, but Niklaus wasn't convinced.

"What do you care about principles?" Bonnie paused to consider his question. She didn't have an answer. When it became clear that she wouldn't answer, he continued. "The need to defend yourself at every turn hints that despite what you say, you really do care what others think of you." Bonnie's eyes met his. She didn't have the energy to argue with him like she typically would. Abby had taken all of the fight from her.

"Maybe I'm just like the hypocrites I claim to hate," she mused.

"Perhaps," he mutters. At her glare, he smiles a bit, letting on that he was merely teasing. "There is a bit of truth to that but don't be so hard on yourself, everyone's a hypocrite in some aspect." His attempt to appease her worked for a moment.

"How are you a hypocrite," she asks. He ponders her question before smirking.

"Deflecting, I see," he called out. Bonnie grins. Getting a taste of her own medicine usually left a sour taste in her mouth but from him, it was amusing.

"I could say the same," she muttered.

"Touche," he answered. The car fell silent for a moment. "I'd say I'm also a hypocrite in that regard. I try not to care what others think of me but I also care about how I'm perceived which is sort of the same thing." Bonnie could relate to that.

"I'm just tired. I'm tired of not being believed. I'm tired of being vilified. Whenever I'm involved in a situation, they just judge what happened based on the shit I've done previously and that shit's not fair. Caroline used that shit against me and I fell right into her fucking trap." She was angry with herself for letting the girl get under her skin. "I want to give the fuck up, honestly. I'm fighting a battle no one believes exist." She wiped at the hot tears that gathered in the wells of her eyes. Caroline was a physical manifestation of everything she hated and it took less than nothing to be triggered by her presence alone.

"Your mother certainly didn't help the situation back there." Some of the things Abby said would have provoked a nun into wrath. He, like everyone else, was shocked by her visceral reaction to Bonnie's outburst. It reminded him a lot of how his father acted towards him.

Bonnie scoffed at the thought of Abby. The wounds she inflicted were still fresh and Bonnie doubted if they'd ever heal. Her chest twisted painfully as one thought became clear.

"I always thought that beneath it all, she actually loved me and just let her frustrations get the best of her but after tonight," Bonnie scoffed and shook her head. "Knowing your parent hates you and them practically saying it is…" She didn't have words. "The way she looks at me when she thinks I'm not paying attention. The way she undermines me when she thinks I'm not around to hear it. I feel like an ugly kid at a beauty pageant whose mom was Miss fucking universe at one point. She wishes I was more like Pru—hell, I even wish it sometimes—but Jesus. I've tried. I've tried it her way and it is never good enough. Nothing is ever good enough." Bonnie paused when her emotions got the best of her. She sighed dejectedly as she fought to keep her emotions in check. As each tear fell, her annoyance grew. "God, I'm such a fucking basket case." The moment she reached for the door handle, it locked, causing her to spin in his direction.

"Don't run from me," he asserted, sounding much more intense than he intended. Bonnie's heart skipped a beat as she stared in silent shock. "It's cold outside and I'm not the run you're running from," he added. Bonnie remained tense.

"Tell me you're not some psycho killer or some shit," she asked. Though her tone was light, he recognized that part of her was serious. "I have mace," she assured.

"I don't doubt you'd level my ass if I tried anything," he said casually before unlocking the door. She remained tense for a few seconds longer before relaxing.

"I'm glad you know," she snarked, earning a wide grin from sat in silence for a moment before Niklaus spoke, ripping the band-aid off her fresh wound.

"Would you like me to walk you in?" She knew she'd have to face the music inevitably but hoped she could hide out in the safety of his warm vehicle for at least another century. She sighed and looked towards the front entrance. Snow had begun to fall, signaling the beginning of the blizzard her mother had mentioned. The blizzard Bonnie hoped would take her out of her misery. She admired the way the snow settled in the yard and coated the rooftops. It was the first snow of the season and the estate always looked its best in the winter. But for a house so beautiful and grand, the inside felt as cold as ever. Her shoulders sagged at the thought of facing Abby once again.

"Only if you promise to kill me first," she joked with her dark as ever humor.

"You have mace, remember," he objected.

"I thought you liked a challenge," she smirked. Niklaus laughed and shook his head before adjusting the beanie on his head.

"Not that one," he countered, earning a genuine laugh from her. He smiled at her effortless beauty and chuckled as well before turning off the car. "Stay here," he instructed before exiting the vehicle. Bonnie watched as he crossed in front of the car and made his way to her door. His alabaster skin reddened from the weather. The weather was a stark contrast from earlier that day.

The moment he opened the door, the cold air rushed in, causing her to shiver. She took his hand and hopped down, instinctively huddling closer to him to block some of the wind that had since picked up. With each step closer to the front entrance, she felt the walls around her heart begin to rebuild, brick by brick. The wall she hadn't realized he'd torn down in that brief moment of respite he offered. The thought unsettled her but she decided not to focus on that now.

As if knowing what she needed, Niklaus entered first, ensuring that the coast was clear before ushering her inside. He opened his hand and instinctively, she placed her hand in his, welcoming the safety and comfort it brought.

"Where to, Miss?" He asked. Bonnie instantly recognized the movie quoted and followed suit.

"To the stars," she said, giggling at the cheesiness of it all. Her giggles were cut short when her father appeared in the foyer. Her immediate thought was to pull away from Niklaus but he had other plans. His gloved grip tightened as he gave her a reassuring pat with his thumb. Still, Bonnie inched closer until she was practically standing behind him.

"Niklaus, thank you for returning my daughter safely," Rudy's voice boomed. Bonnie averted her eyes as her dad quietly assessed the situation. "I do not take that lightly," he said with a bit of concern in his eyes. Bonnie relaxed just a tad but remained on high alert. Usually, where Rudy went, Abby followed and she was the last person Bonnie wanted to see.

"You're very welcome, Mr. Bennett," Niklaus offered. Though he pondered why Rudy himself wasn't the one retrieving his daughter. Though, rather than voice his concerns he kept his thoughts to himself, respectfully.

As if summoned, Abby appeared with a glass of cognac in her hands. Judging by the way she sent daggers into Bonnie, Niklaus surmised that she wasn't quite drunk enough yet to let bygones be bygones. He felt Bonnie stiffen beside him and braced himself for the second wave of World War III. He turned to Bonnie, blocking her view of Abby.

"Go upstairs, I'll deal with this." He spoke low enough so that only she could hear. Their eyes met and Bonnie wondered how exactly he'd deal with her parents, but didn't have the energy to question him. Instead, she simply nodded and turned to ascend the stairs. Both Bonnie and Abby glared at one another until Bonnie was out of sight.

"I swear I don't know what's wrong with her," Abby muttered into her glass. Niklaus turned to face the husband and wife and exhaled slowly.

"No one believes her and none of you are in her corner." Maybe it was out of turn, but Niklaus felt compelled to speak up.

"Excuse me?" Abby was offended and shocked that he dared to challenge her.

"I'm not saying she handled the situation with the most grace, but I saw with my own eyes, Caroline was out of line and Bonnie responded accordingly. Perhaps this one time, you all jumped to conclusions without giving her the benefit of the doubt," he clarified. Abby balked but said nothing. Rudy had the decency to look ashamed as the realization settled. "Perhaps if you'd listen to her and actually tried to see things from her side, she wouldn't feel compelled to fight you on everything." Before Abby could retaliate, Niklaus bowed his head and began to retreat. "Now, if you'll excuse me."

Abby glowered at his retreating figure, feeling chastised in her own home. "The nerve of him," she scoffed. "If she doesn't get her shit together, I'm shipping her off. To hell with it." Abby downed the rest of the amber liquid to calm her nerves.

"Abby." The stress in Rudy's voice could be heard for miles. "Bonnie is our daughter, not a burden. Whatever is going on with you two, you need to fix it."

"How?! She chews my head off every chance she gets! I don't know what else to do!"

"Try apologizing to her and then go from there. I don't know what it is with you two but Prudence and I walk on eggshells around both of you and it's not good for any of us. This past week was peaceful. I thought you two were finally getting somewhere but you were completely out of line today! I don't know what changed but figure it out." Rudy's tone left no room for a rebuttal. He loosened his tie and turned to leave while Abby stood in the foyer feeling utterly dejected.

-X-

For the next several weeks, Bonnie and Abby avoided one another like the plague while trying to coexist as peacefully as they could manage. After many failed attempts at arranging a peaceful talk amongst them, Prudence had given up and sought refuge in Elijah's company just so she wouldn't have to deal with her family's never-ending drama. Rudy immersed himself in work while Abby focused on fine-tuning the last details of her annual Christmas Party. Bonnie scoffed at the idea of yet another photo-op and dreaded the thought of Abby forcing her to attend. She secretly hoped that Abby would continue to give her the silent treatment but if she knew her mother, she'd cave solely for the sake of appearances and demand her attendance anyhow.

This shit was quite honestly getting old.

Bonnie's horrors were realized when she awoke one morning to a plate full of Charleston Chewies on her dresser with a handwritten note from the one and only ice queen, instructing Bonnie to meet her downstairs. Bonnie wined to herself and kicked the air before chucking the note in the trash. It was better to get this over with now than to drag things out another day.

Once downstairs, Bonnie quietly entered the kitchen. She half expected to see her sister and father. But instead found Abby alone with Sylvia the chef cooking away in the background. Bonnie smiled at the older woman and made a note to partake in the gift she prepared for her once she returned to her room.

"Good morning," Bonnie said, low-key directing the greeting to Sylvia. In tune with her daughter's pettiness, Abby remained silent until Bonnie begrudgingly addressed her as well. "Good morning," she addressed. She decided not to press her luck by calling her by her first name.

"Good morning," Abby spoke from behind her newspaper. Once Bonnie was seated, Abby folded the paper and placed it neatly to the side. She took a sip of her cappuccino before folding her hands in her lap. Once Sylvia placed their plates before them, she took her excuses to give both women their privacy.

For five minutes, not a word was spoken. Bonnie sat quietly as she pushed the food around on her plate. Nerves prevented her from having any semblance of an appetite. She couldn't recall the last time she and Abby were ever alone in a room together. There was always some sort of buffer.

"I apologize for what I said to you. It was out of line." Of all the things Bonnie imagined to come from her mother's mouth, an apology was nowhere on the list. Abby did not apologize and even if, it was always weaponized to trick Bonnie into doing something she wanted.

Bonnie remained silent, unsure of how she should respond. "I apologize too," she murmured. In truth, she wasn't sorry for anything she said and hated being disingenuous, but had no other words to offer. She was only sorry that she felt such disdain for her own mother and wished things were different.

Things remained awkwardly quiet and Bonnie wondered if Abby thought she'd done something spectacular. With a heavy sigh, Bonnie bit the bullet and broke the silence. "Where is the Christmas party going to be this year?" If Abby wasn't going to bring it up, she thought it best to do it herself.

"Don't worry about it, you're not invited." Bonnie watched as Abby sipped her coffee, not sparing her a glance as she cracked her poached egg. She tried to ignore the sting of rejection she felt but her worst character flaw was not knowing when to let things go. It wasn't always what Abby said that got under her skin, it was how it was said.

"Wow, okay," Abby could sense the edge in Bonnie's voice and braced herself for what was to come. "What'd I do this time, kick a puppy?" Every time she thought that her mother couldn't knock her off her feet, Abby came with another trick up her sleeve.

"You hate going so I'm no longer forcing you to," she says casually. Though Bonnie detected some level of spite in her statement.

"I'm curious about what's changed," Bonnie goaded. Abby finally spared her a glance. Bonnie prepped herself for what was to come.

"Every time I force you into doing something you don't want to do, it blows up in my face so I'd rather you not come." Once again, Bonnie ignored the sting of rejection. For reasons she couldn't process, she felt slighted, despite not wanting to go to the event in the first place.

"Okay," she resigned. It was Abby's turn to psychoanalyze what was happening.

"I just think we should stop trying to force things," Abby added, hoping to assuage the situation. Instead, she poured gasoline on it.

"Or perhaps you've finally given up on me," Bonnie paraphrased.

"That's not what I said. You hate being forced into these things and then when I don't invite you, you cause a scene. Damn it, Bonnie, nothing is ever good enough for you."

"I wonder where I got that from," she countered with a raised brow. Abby sighed and pushed her plate away. She no longer had an appetite.

"You're right about that," she couldn't deny it. The things she hated about Bonnie the most were the very things she hated about herself. The two of them were so alike, it was the reason they constantly bumped heads.

"I'm just saying, we've been down this path before. You ignore me until you can't anymore and then you hit me where it hurts whenever I do something 'unforgivable' and we're back at square one."

"All I know is that I'm sick of having the same fight with you repeatedly so if letting you go is how I break the cycle then so be it. It's what you want, isn't it?"

"That's not what I want at all," Bonnie countered. She hated the slight panic in her voice.

"Then what the hell do you want, Bonnie?" The room fell silent. What she truly wanted, was for Abby to accept her just the way she was and to stop trying to change her; but that seemed like a dream that would never be realized. There were so many things she wanted to say, but each time she opened herself up to Abby, she was rejected and each time, that rejection destroyed her.

"Nothing," Bonnie muttered. The vulnerability in her tone made Abby soften for a moment. She tried to find the right words to say but it was lost on her. The distance between the two of them seemed to grow more each day and the solution was lost on Abby.

"I hope that one day we can fix things between us," Abby confessed. They were happy once upon a time. Bonnie stood and offered a stiff smile that barely reached the corners of her lips.

"Same."