The Surf Leash Strangler

Chapter 10

(WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A SUICIDE ATTEMPT)

Dog Beach was quiet as Veronica sat on the sand. The sun was barely awake, and while Veronica had been desperate to get a good nights rest, it had escaped her again. The few hours she did have meant her mind was still churning, a mixture of her thoughts about the case and also about Logan. She had tried to go for her normal run, wanting to clear her mind, but instead, she climbed into the SUV she had been borrowing and drove. She ended up parking in the familiar spot that she had always taken Backup.

Veronica had spent almost thirty minutes just watching the waves crash and the water rush up to the edge of her toes. So much had happened in the last few days that she wasn't really sure how to take it all in.

The case was making progress that she was happy with. They had a few leads they were still tracking down, and she hoped that once she made it into the office, Jimmy and Pierce would have some good news for her. All she needed to do was confirm the identity of Alice's mystery boyfriend, confirm that he attacked Samantha, and if the DNA from Samantha's attack matched their eight other victims, they had him. Veronica should be feeling good; normally, her excitement when they started to close in on their unsub drove her to work harder. But now, all she felt was uncertainty and fear.

Everything with Logan was more chaotic than she ever thought it would be. There had been days when she imagined what it would be like to run into him; Veronica knew it was bound to be awkward. She thought that he might shrug it off, and they would have a chat and then go on with their lives. She'd also considered that he wouldn't want to talk to her at all. Veronica had hoped that if the day did ever come, she would be mature, but no, she just ran away. And it seemed that she was going to keep doing so.

It was hard to ignore all of her memories and feelings being back in Neptune. When she was anywhere else, they were like a dream. But there was no escaping her past when it was right in front of her. When he had touched her at the bar, his skin on hers had her body burning like it always had. Every touch from Logan was a jolt through Veronica, her body screaming at her just like her heart. He was what she wanted, what she needed. The feel of his lips on hers had felt like no time had passed at all, but yet, she knew she had gone eight years without kissing him and that hurt.

But she couldn't have what she wanted. Veronica didn't believe she deserved Logan; she wouldn't allow herself to break him again because that is what she does. She takes the people she loves, and she ruins them. Veronica had to face that her life with Logan had to remain a memory.

"Ronnie!"

Veronica jumped, and her head spun around to see Dick. She wanted to scream; she was not in the mood to deal with Dick. She dropped her head against her knees, hoping the sand would suck her in and she could avoid whatever weird thing Dick would say.

"Hey, Ronnie, you okay?" Dick got closer; the sound of his surfboard being jammed into the sand made Veronica finally look up.

"Hi Dick," she said. Her voice was thick, and she found it hard to swallow the lump in her throat.

"What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be off solving crimes?" he asked, bringing his hands up and swinging like he was doing some sort of karate move.

"Even crimes fighters need a break." She brushed back her hair and turned back to the water.

Dick dropped onto the sand beside her and frowned. He asked, "Case getting you down?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Logan?" he pried.

Veronica sighed and shifted to push herself up. She wasn't ready to talk to anyone about Logan, especially not Dick.

"Veronica, wait."

It was strange hearing her full name from Dick, but it did make her stop.

"Look, I don't know what is going on between you and Logan, but I just want to say something before you run off. As much as I have tried to encourage Logan to let you go, he hasn't. He has spent the last eight years loving you, and no other woman has ever changed that. After you left, he put himself through so much to make himself good enough for you. Logan wanted to be a man that you would be proud of."

Veronica frowned. "Wait, eight years? He told you?"

Dick rolled his eyes. "Really, that's the part you hear. That Logan told me you two hooked up a year after you left him in the dust. Seriously Ronnie."

Veronica's frown deepened. "Dick—"

"No, you listen. Logan is my best mate, and while I never really understood why you two loved each other, you were always better together than apart. So whatever is going on in your head, sort your shit out and go and talk to Logan. I don't know if you two are soul mates or some other bullshit, but I think you both deserve to be happy."

Shock didn't seem to be the right word to describe how Veronica felt. Dick had never been one to discuss emotions, his own or others – ever! And he was also telling her to pull her shit together. It annoyed her slightly that he was telling her off like a child, but Veronica somehow knew he was right. She did need to pull her shit together.

"But if you send him over the edge again, like you did when you took off from that hotel, I will make you regret it."

Veronica looked confused. "I'm sorry? What do you mean off the edge?"

Dick panicked for a second, realising he had said something he probably shouldn't have. "You don't know?" he asked.

"Know what?"

Dick rubbed his face and groaned. "After you two hooked up, Logan got depressed. I think for a few hours, he thought that you two were finally going to give it another shot. He'd spent twelve months not knowing where you had gone and then decided he needed to see. He dragged me with him."

"Wait, you guys came up to see me?"

He nodded. "Logan got your address from a very reluctant Wallace, and we drove up. I thought he'd get out and go talk to you, but no, he played creepy stalker and watched you."

"So you followed me when I went out with my friends?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No. That was by chance. We saw you meet up with a guy, and he kissed you on the cheek. It pissed Logan off, and he wanted to drown his sorrows. You being at the same club was just an accident, and then you two disappeared, and I found him the next morning draining a bottle of scotch in the bath of his hotel room."

Veronica felt sick. She hadn't realised that leaving that morning that she was going to break him all over again. The memories of that night were like a dream, something she never wanted to forget but something that didn't always feel real.

"What happened after?" she asked.

"He started to party hard. You thought I partied too much, but he got bad. He stopped going to classes altogether; he was practically drunk all day. He ended up in hospital twice, the doctors having to pump his stomach."

The tears had started to fall as she listened to Dick. She really had destroyed Logan; without evening trying, she had sent him off the edge of a cliff. "If I sent him into such a downward spiral, why would you want me to get back with him? I'd probably cause him to do it again." She swallowed.

Dick sighed. "I don't know if you two should get back together, but I know you both need to talk. He told me that you ran away from him last night, that you kept apologising but wouldn't say anything." He reached out his arm and placed it across her shoulders.

Veronica found herself leaning into his side, accepting the comfort from a guy she thought she would hate forever. But it seemed eight years had done Dick some good.

He said, "I think there is a lot you both need to say to each other. It might be time you two finally close that chapter and move on, get some closure and go your separate ways, or hell, give it another shot." He squeezed Veronica's shoulders.

"Dick, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're a good friend and thank you for telling me." Veronica sat back up and pushed herself to stand. She dusted off the sand and gave Dick a warm smile as he grabbed his board.

He said, "That's alright. Logan will probably murder me for telling you about what happened, but I think you needed to know. See you round, Ronnie." He gave her a big smile before walking towards the water.

Knowing what had happened to Logan only made Veronica realise even more than she needed to end this. Dick was right; they needed to talk and find closure. It wasn't fair for Logan to ever think that she might come back. Veronica felt responsible for so much of Logan's pain; no matter how much she loved him, she couldn't have him back.

Veronica got back into her car and noticed she had a missed call, a text message and a voice message. She didn't know the number. Ringing her voicemail, she was surprised.

"Hi Agent Mars, this is Bethany King. After we spoke yesterday, I was thinking about Allie and…well, I found a picture…of her and her boyfriend. It was on her Facebook. So…yeah. I'll just send it through via text. Bye."

Veronica leant back in her seat and smiled. That was fantastic; a picture of their most likely unsub was perfect. She checked the message and tapped on the photo. There was Alice, smiling; she looked high on life. And beside her was a guy, similar age, with brown hair. His smile wasn't as bright, and he also wasn't looking at the camera. His eyes were fixed on Alice, and the way his arm wrapped around her, he looked quite possessive of her.

With a photo of their unsub, Veronica needed to go see Samantha Whitmore. If she could ID her attacker, it meant they were that much closer.

Veronica returned to her hotel, showered and dressed for the day, feeling a little clearer about things. Her personal life would need to wait until she had handled the case, but she at least knew what she needed to do. Veronica would talk to Logan and give them both the closure they should have had nine years ago. But first, she had a witness to speak to.

Once she was in the car, Veronica dialled Pierce.

He answered, "Mars, you coming into the office anytime soon?"

Veronica said, "No, I'm on my way to see Samantha Whitmore."

"Again?" he asked.

She explained, "Yeah. It seems our talk with Bethany King yesterday struck a few cords. She found a picture of Alice with her boyfriend on Alice's old Facebook account."

"That's great."

Veronica smiled; it was great. "Yep. I'm going to see if Samantha can give us a positive ID. I'll send it to Jimmy and get him to run facial recognition on it if she does."

"Sounds like a plan."

She asked, "Have you been able to see if the last known locations all received similar deliveries yet?"

"So far, I have five out of eight. I did go back to the last business that the victims visited, like with Deliah Hamilton, victim four. She was last seen at the park, but before that, she stopped in at a restaurant two blocks away."

"What's the delivery connection?"

"It looks like the three bars, restaurant, and Chinese takeout all get their liquor deliveries through the same company. The thing is, this company uses independent drivers – sort of like Uber – they put down they have a delivery, the guy shows up and picks it up and then makes the delivery for them."

"The company would have a record of the driver's, right?"

"They should. If you can get a positive ID, we can go and talk to the owner or the manager and see if they can give us a real name."

Veronica smiled. "This is good. Let me know once you have confirmed all of the delivery's with the other victim's locations, and I'll call you once I've spoken with Samantha."

"Will do."

Veronica arrived at Samantha Whitmore's home at nine o'clock. Her phone buzzing as she stopped the car, a message from Logan.

LE: Can we talk, please.

Veronica frowned and didn't respond. She couldn't think about Logan at that moment. She climbed out of her car and walked up to Samantha's front door. She knocked and stepped back, glancing around at the few neighbours houses she could see. After a minute, she tried again, knocking harder just in case Samantha hadn't heard her.

One of the things that Hitch had always encouraged Veronica to do, was trust her instincts, and at that moment, she knew something wasn't right. She didn't know why, but Veronica pounded her hand on the door and tried to peer in the window. Unable to see anything, she tried the handle and sighed when she found it locked.

Moving away from the front door, Veronica walked over to the living room window and peered through. On the couch, lying on her back, was Samantha. She looked like she was asleep. Veronica tapped in the glass, hoping it might disturb her, but then she noticed the pill bottle on the ground. The lid was off, and it was empty. It was possible that they were sleeping pills and that Samantha had just taken the last one, but Veronica also knew exactly what the poor girl had been through.

Veronica quickly rushed back to her car and grabbed her bag. They weren't supposed to carry lock picking tools, but Veronica found they came in handy. She grabbed the set from her bag and knelt down at the front door. She got the lock to click before she shoved the door open and rushed into Samantha's living room.

She was breathing, but barely. Veronica opened her phone and dialled.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"This is Agent Veronica Mars with the FBI. I need an ambulance to 422 Huston Blvd. I have a twenty-three-year-old woman, Samantha Whitmore, who is experiencing possible overdoes."

"I am routing an ambulance to you now, Agent Mars."

The ambulance arrived ten minutes later; Veronica had moved Samantha onto the floor, pushing her coffee table out of the way, and had laid her on her side. She kept checking Samantha's pulse and had collected the pill bottle, so they knew exactly what she had taken. Veronica watched as they worked on Samantha and climbed into the ambulance after they loaded her up.

Veronica looked at Samantha's pale face and felt the guilt hit her. It was a possibility that Samantha had accidentally overdosed; it did happen. But what was most likely the cause was having to relive her own worst moment. Veronica had asked for the details of the rape, needing to know as much as she could, forcing Samantha to face what she might not have been able to handle.

At the hospital, Veronica called Pierce. She explained the situation. She planned to stay and wait until she had an update and hoped that Samantha would be okay. For forty minutes, Veronica waited. She spent her time either pacing or slouching in one of the uncomfortable chairs. She had tried to hospital coffee, only to dump it in the bin when it tasted like dirty water. She couldn't shake the dread that she had caused this. It was her fault.

"Mars!"

Veronica turned to see Walsh. She asked, "What are you doing here?"

Walsh walked towards her and took a seat beside her. "Pierce told me what happened. I just finished at Samantha's house, just making sure there was no foul play involved considering Miss Whitmore's connection to the case."

Veronica nodded.

"Any update yet?"

"No," said Veronica. "Nothing." She swallowed the sharp lump in her throat and buried her face in her hands.

Walsh placed her hands on Veronica's shoulder. "She will be alright."

"Will she? After all, I made her relive her nightmare. I pushed her to the point where she thought it would be better to kill herself." Veronica stood, pushing back the stray hairs from her face.

"No. You are not to blame for this."

It would have been inappropriate to laugh, but that was all Veronica wanted to do. Another bad thing had happened to another innocent person, and she was involved. It was Logan all over again. And there Walsh was, telling her that she did not wrong. The reoccurring theme in Veronica's life was starting to seem ridiculous.

"Your guy, Jimmy, did a little more digging into Samantha's life. This is her third attempt at suicide in the last twelve months." Walsh stood.

"Three times in twelve months?"

Walsh nodded. "The first two were before her assault."

Veronica didn't know if she should feel free of the guilt; Samantha had been suicidal before everything had happened, but that didn't mean she hadn't triggered this latest episode.

"Agent Mars?"

Veronica turned to a middle-aged doctor walking towards her.

"Dr White," he introduced himself.

"How is Samantha?" asked Veronica.

"Miss Whitmore is stable. We estimate she consumed most of the bottle that you showed the paramedic."

"Is she awake?"

"Not yet; it may take her some time before she does wake up. Her body will experience the effect of the pills for a few hours as her body works most of it out of her system. She should be coherent enough to talk to you by tomorrow if you'd like to come back then."

Veronica nodded. "Thank you, Dr White."

He smiled warmly before turning and walking away.

"Whitaker wants to talk to you, by the way. He asked you stop by the field office before you do anything else," said Walsh.

Veronica sighed. "Alright. I'll need a ride."

Walsh gave Veronica a ride back to the San Diego field office. Veronica found herself contemplating the choices she had made and what she could have done differently. She found it hard to believe that she hadn't caused Samantha's reaction, but maybe Samantha was dealing with a lot more than just a rape. Everything Veronica knew about the girl was in a case file.

Veronica didn't know what to expect when they arrived back at the office, and she sat down with Whitaker. He had only spoken to her twice since her arrival and seemed content to allow them to get their job done.

"Pierce filled me in on Miss Whitmore; how is she fairing?" asked Whitaker.

Veronica nodded. "The doctor said she would be alright. I plan to go back and speak to her tomorrow morning."

"Very good. And how are you?" he asked.

Veronica frowned. "Sir?"

"You found a woman unconscious, one you spoke to regarding a traumatising experience. Hitch informed me that sometimes you can put the blame on yourself when you shouldn't." Whitaker clasped his hands together and leant his arms on his desk. "Pierce said that your Analysis found a record of self-harm."

"Yes, sir. But that doesn't mean I wasn't responsible for her most recent attempt." Veronica clenched her hands.

"I think you should take the rest of the day off."

"Sir, that's not necessary."

"It's absolutely necessary. I can see the bags under your eyes, Agent. You are far overdue in time off. You will take the afternoon, get some sleep, and be back here tomorrow morning before you go off to speak with Miss Whitmore. Am I clear?" Whitmore lifted his eyebrow, almost challenging Veronica to argue.

Veronica swallowed her annoyance and nodded. "Yes, sir."

Whitmore nodded. "Good. Now get."

Walking out of Whitmore's office, Veronica collected her laptop and bag from the conference room and moved towards the elevators. As much as she hated to say Whitmore was right, she was tired. She highly doubted that she would get any sleep, not with everything going on inside her mind.

Her phone buzzed, making Veronica sigh. What now? It was Logan.

LE: Bobcat, please.

Veronica's hands trembled as she read the old nickname. She remembered the first time he'd ever called her that. They were in bed, tangled together as she sat in his lap. She had been in a teasing mood, having not been able to touch him for a few days, and he had groaned out the name as he exploded inside her. It had excited her.

Pressing her phone against her chest, she knew she needed to talk to him.

VM: Okay. Meet me at my hotel.

She sent through the details of where she was staying. Getting back an okay and a love heart. This was it.

There we go.

I would love to hear what you think. Even if it's as simple as a 'can't wait' all feedback is appreciated.